Depression and anxiety

[Sir David Gray]

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I think that's a natural reaction to such a shock. Hopefully you get the chance to speak to some of the professionals helping your dad over the coming days who might be able to give some advice on things you can do to help him going forward.

Today must have been an awful experience for you. I hope in time you both look back at it as the beginning of a massive improvement in your dad's life. All the best SDG.

Thanks a lot mate, much appreciated.

[Sylar]

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I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

Really sorry to read that SDG - I understand that finances can drive people to irrational acts at this time of the year, as raging commercialism compels people to do things they wouldn't normally. Combine that 'expectation' with financial concerns, a decreasing sense of self-worth and independence and it's easy to see why this particular time of the year is a dark experience for people like your dad who are going through mental health changes. In the coming days, in addition to your dad, do make sure that YOU are OK. It can be a horrifically unsettling and imbalancing experience and you might well find you'll need support too.

I can't really give you any long-term advice on supporting someone through it I'm afraid, as I've been fortunate to not have anyone in that situation in my own life. Having said that, I've intervened with a stranger's efforts to take their own life and ended up being in contact with them for a wee while afterwards - just chatting to them about their day to day comings and goings, positive stories and things that they enjoyed doing was my tactic, and over the short period of time I spoke with this person after their almost experience, I noticed a lightening in them. Talking is sometimes enough, and factor in talking about things they enjoy to remind them about the good things in life has to be a good starting point - there'll be a time for the more in-depth stuff, but even then, sometimes it's best left to the professionals that can deal with it more readily. You might find your dad won't want to talk about it with those he loves, as it'll have been a deeply upsetting experience for all concerned.

I was actually intending to post something wishing everyone well for the holiday period and seeing everyone was doing OK, but your post stopped me in my tracks a little. I read Matt Haig's book a wee while back, 'Reasons to Stay Alive', and he discussed coping with Christmas in one of the chapters - he introduced me to an artistic concept, chiarascuro, which is the balance between light and shade, especially at this time of year. The lights, the tinsel, the merriment, the expectation of socialising and being 'on point' and outwardly happy is often at complete loggerheads to the darkness of mental illness, and that can be a total destabiliser at this time of the year. It's important to recognise that, not just in yourself, but in the way you interact and impose expectation etc on others.

[Sir David Gray]

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Really sorry to read that SDG - I understand that finances can drive people to irrational acts at this time of the year, as raging commercialism compels people to do things they wouldn't normally. Combine that 'expectation' with financial concerns, a decreasing sense of self-worth and independence and it's easy to see why this particular time of the year is a dark experience for people like your dad who are going through mental health changes. In the coming days, in addition to your dad, do make sure that YOU are OK. It can be a horrifically unsettling and imbalancing experience and you might well find you'll need support too.

I can't really give you any long-term advice on supporting someone through it I'm afraid, as I've been fortunate to not have anyone in that situation in my own life. Having said that, I've intervened with a stranger's efforts to take their own life and ended up being in contact with them for a wee while afterwards - just chatting to them about their day to day comings and goings, positive stories and things that they enjoyed doing was my tactic, and over the short period of time I spoke with this person after their almost experience, I noticed a lightening in them. Talking is sometimes enough, and factor in talking about things they enjoy to remind them about the good things in life has to be a good starting point - there'll be a time for the more in-depth stuff, but even then, sometimes it's best left to the professionals that can deal with it more readily. You might find your dad won't want to talk about it with those he loves, as it'll have been a deeply upsetting experience for all concerned.

I was actually intending to post something wishing everyone well for the holiday period and seeing everyone was doing OK, but your post stopped me in my tracks a little. I read Matt Haig's book a wee while back, 'Reasons to Stay Alive', and he discussed coping with Christmas in one of the chapters - he introduced me to an artistic concept, chiarascuro, which is the balance between light and shade, especially at this time of year. The lights, the tinsel, the merriment, the expectation of socialising and being 'on point' and outwardly happy is often at complete loggerheads to the darkness of mental illness, and that can be a total destabiliser at this time of the year. It's important to recognise that, not just in yourself, but in the way you interact and impose expectation etc on others.

Thank you very much mate, I appreciate the time you have taken to write such a detailed and thoughtful reply to my post.

Thanks to everyone who has replied to me, I genuinely appreciate everyone who has taken time to show concern for me and wish me and my family well.

I am going to take the advice of anyone who is willing to give it to me. There is no quick fix to this and not something that paracetamol and a plaster will sort out.

He is currently in hospital, I've no idea how long someone is normally kept in after a suicide attempt but from a selfish point of view, it's almost easier to cope with while he's in there. The real hard work starts once he's home and we have to look after him ourselves.

[stu in nottingham]

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I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

I am so sorry for what your father, you and your family have gone through with this experience. I wish for you all a better future.

Some on here may remember that I lost my partner when she took her own life three years ago last February. There was great kindness shown to me at that time from the people of this site and it pleases me to see that you are receiving similar from our friends here.

Filled with great grief and trauma at that time, I set to understanding how to survive myself as I frankly, wasn't clear that I wanted to. In a call to the Samaritans they referred me to a charitable organisation that dealt specifically in suicide bereavement. This organisation communicates via phone calls and email and may be of use to you. I am sure the Samaritans could signpost you to them.

In addition, after a while I registered as a member of the site below for suicide survivors. It has, among other things, forums with people who have had similar experiences to yours and mine. It's US based but as we know, a universal problem. You may find it helpful:

http://www.allianceofhope.org

I'd like to say also, please feel free to drop me a line via pm any time. Not only do I have personal experience but also deal with the subject of potential suicide in my own work counselling people with addictions.

All the best mate.

[Sir David Gray]

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I am so sorry for what your father, you and your family have gone through with this experience. I wish for you all a better future.

Some on here may remember that I lost my partner when she took her own life three years ago last February. There was great kindness shown to me at that time from the people of this site and it pleases me to see that you are receiving similar from our friends here.

Filled with great grief and trauma at that time, I set to understanding how to survive myself as I frankly, wasn't clear that I wanted to. In a call to the Samaritans they referred me to a charitable organisation that dealt specifically in suicide bereavement. This organisation communicates via phone calls and email and may be of use to you. I am sure the Samaritans could signpost you to them.

In addition, after a while I registered as a member of the site below for suicide survivors. It has, among other things, forums with people who have had similar experiences to yours and mine. It's US based but as we know, a universal problem. You may find it helpful:

http://www.allianceofhope.org

I'd like to say also, please feel free to drop me a line via pm any time. Not only do I have personal experience but also deal with the subject of potential suicide in my own work counselling people with addictions.

All the best mate.

Thanks a lot mate, I really appreciate the help and guidance on where to get some support.

I remember reading your post about your partner and to be honest it was part of the reason that prompted me to write my own post on here. Your words then were very inspiring, even although at that time I had no personal experience of what you were going through.

Although I thankfully still haven't lost anyone to suicide, I came very close yesterday and mental health awareness is something that I am going to pay much greater attention to going forward.

Thank you for your kind words, all the best to you and your family and I'll take a look at the information you have referred to in your post.

Cheers pal.

[stoneyburn hibs]

That must have been an awful experience SDG. Hopefully your father is recovering well, best wishes.

[Sir David Gray]

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That must have been an awful experience SDG. Hopefully your father is recovering well, best wishes.

Thank you mate. I went this evening to see him and although he was far from "normal" he was certainly looking a lot better than he was yesterday. He was making eye contact with us throughout which he didn't do yesterday and there was a clear acceptance that he needed to get better and he needed to keep communicating with us to allow him to get better. There was also no attempt at apologising tonight which I was glad to see.

There's a long road ahead for all of us but I left tonight feeling a bit more hopeful than I did yesterday and hopefully it will allow me to sleep better tonight as I didn't manage that last night.

[wpj]

This thread always makes me sad but proud at the same time. SDG I really hope things work out for you all. Your dad is getting support which is the main thing at the moment. It can be an awful time of year and without wanting to go into details it's not going to be a great Christmas for me. I do have a lovely time planned for just after Christmas though which is helping. A long walk on Christmas day and watching Royston Town on boxing day will see me right. To all who post or look at this thread have a good one and if you need to talk make sure you do. There are many who can and will help.

[MSK]

Thinking of you & your family SDG, my Dad tried similar many years back via a cocktail of alcohol & anti depressants. We were kids at the time & had no understanding of my Dads situation, he was a drinker & we probably accepted thats the norm, not good for kids to witness. Throughout his life he had his ups & downs, sadly, mostly downs.

Thankfully he is at peace now, no more torment. As we grew into adulthood we all tried to support our Dad, we needed to know at what piint if his life, and more importantly WHY did you feel the way you did, why didnt you tell us, we were your beloved kids, you brought us into this world but you were somewhere else, fighting demons, we didnt know because you didnt tell us.

Until his death he kept it to himself, perhaps childhood trauma, his Father died when my Dad was only 7 yo, or perhaps something in early adulthood. His comfort was his bottle of vodka, whatever ate him from the inside, whatever tormented him for all those years were sadly taken with him, we will never know.

SDG, keep talking to him mate, show him your love, communication can be a release & a comfort to you all.

Aw the best bud, stay strong.

[Sir David Gray]

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This thread always makes me sad but proud at the same time. SDG I really hope things work out for you all. Your dad is getting support which is the main thing at the moment. It can be an awful time of year and without wanting to go into details it's not going to be a great Christmas for me. I do have a lovely time planned for just after Christmas though which is helping. A long walk on Christmas day and watching Royston Town on boxing day will see me right. To all who post or look at this thread have a good one and if you need to talk make sure you do. There are many who can and will help.

Thanks a lot mate I really appreciate your time. I'm sorry to hear of your personal situation and I hope that it improves for you over time. Christmas can be a brilliant time of year but if you're having any problems at all then they can be exacerbated at this time of year and you often don't want to share those concerns with anyone as you don't want to spoil their own celebrations.

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Thinking of you & your family SDG, my Dad tried similar many years back via a cocktail of alcohol & anti depressants. We were kids at the time & had no understanding of my Dads situation, he was a drinker & we probably accepted thats the norm, not good for kids to witness. Throughout his life he had his ups & downs, sadly, mostly downs.

Thankfully he is at peace now, no more torment. As we grew into adulthood we all tried to support our Dad, we needed to know at what piint if his life, and more importantly WHY did you feel the way you did, why didnt you tell us, we were your beloved kids, you brought us into this world but you were somewhere else, fighting demons, we didnt know because you didnt tell us.

Until his death he kept it to himself, perhaps childhood trauma, his Father died when my Dad was only 7 yo, or perhaps something in early adulthood. His comfort was his bottle of vodka, whatever ate him from the inside, whatever tormented him for all those years were sadly taken with him, we will never know.

SDG, keep talking to him mate, show him your love, communication can be a release & a comfort to you all.

Aw the best bud, stay strong.

Thanks so much mate, your situation must have been so difficult to cope with but thanks for sharing it.

It's the shock of not knowing before it's too late or almost too late that really eats away at you which you have alluded to. It's the guilt of thinking that my dad didn't feel like he could tell anyone in the family how bad he truly felt that is really getting to me just now. All the petty arguments we have had lately, have they contributed to what happened the other day?

I've been asking deep questions of myself over the past two days and wondering whether anything I've done could either have made things worse or meant that he didn't feel able to confide in me.

My dad has never been good at communicating his feelings, it's always been a criticism everyone in the family has thrown at him. He took responsibility for this last night when we spoke to him and said that the importance of talking has been drummed into him by the doctors who are currently treating him.

I'm trying to keep talking to him about normal things, I know there is a long road ahead and that things will likely never be the same again. Maybe in some ways that's not a bad thing, since the "same" almost lead to my father's death.

My head's a complete mess just now but reading this thread has genuinely helped. I don't know any of you personally but I can feel the genuine concern shown by everyone who has replied so far and your words of comfort are certainly helping me to cope and process everything.

Thank you once again.

[stu in nottingham]

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It's the shock of not knowing before it's too late or almost too late that really eats away at you which you have alluded to. It's the guilt of thinking that my dad didn't feel like he could tell anyone in the family how bad he truly felt that is really getting to me just now. All the petty arguments we have had lately, have they contributed to what happened the other day?

I've been asking deep questions of myself over the past two days and wondering whether anything I've done could either have made things worse or meant that he didn't feel able to confide in me.

It's important for you to understand that these feelings of guilt are very common in others where suicides and attempted suicides are concerned, you are by no means alone nor peculiar in those thoughts. In completed suicides there can even be feelings of relief, say for someone who was really suffering. Of course that in itself can cause guilt too. Other feelings are commonly those of anger, shame, fear and avoidance etc. it's a strange cocktail of feelings which is unlike other situations

A suicide bereavement counsellor in a phone call in the days after said to me that there are two questions survivors (i.e. close ones) always ask themselves after the event, one is 'could I have done more?' the other being simply 'why?' Of course in completed suicides these questions can never be answered for obvious reasons. I found myself doing this too. When emotions calmed I realised there was nothing more I could have done. I think you will too with your father.

Quite often, people with suicidal feelings don't want to burden or worry others with them and so don't talk about them. A majority of people who have suicidal feelings do not actually want to do, more accurately they don't want to live the life they are leading and this is why they should seek support by talking. Equally they should seek support as actively feeling suicidal is often temporary, say if someone has been struggling to cope with problems in their life for some time.

I think there is a big point here and that is to allow your father to speak about it in his own time, when he feels able. Your role is to be there when he is ready to talk and not feel you have to promote the dialogue. Give him a 'safe space' to talk. It will be clear to you when he is ready.

Unhelpful responses to someone who has tried to take their life include dramatising the event, criticising, panicking, being angry and making the person feel guilty or selfish.

Helpful things to say are words such as 'I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad, I'm so glad you're still here' and 'Tell me what I can do to support you because I want to help you'. Make sure they know that you're always there for them and that they can always talk to you.

We are all here for you, mate. Take care.

Stu

[hibsbollah]

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It's important for you to understand that these feelings of guilt are very common in others where suicides and attempted suicides are concerned, you are by no means alone nor peculiar in those thoughts. In completed suicides there can even be feelings of relief, say for someone who was really suffering. Of course that in itself can cause guilt too. Other feelings are commonly those of anger, shame, fear and avoidance etc. it's a strange cocktail of feelings which is unlike other situations

A suicide bereavement counsellor in a phone call in the days after said to me that there are two questions survivors (i.e. close ones) always ask themselves after the event, one is 'could I have done more?' the other being simply 'why?' Of course in completed suicides these questions can never be answered for obvious reasons. I found myself doing this too. When emotions calmed I realised there was nothing more I could have done. I think you will too with your father.

Quite often, people with suicidal feelings don't want to burden or worry others with them and so don't talk about them. A majority of people who have suicidal feelings do not actually want to do, more accurately they don't want to live the life they are leading and this is why they should seek support by talking. Equally they should seek support as actively feeling suicidal is often temporary, say if someone has been struggling to cope with problems in their life for some time.

I think there is a big point here and that is to allow your father to speak about it in his own time, when he feels able. Your role is to be there when he is ready to talk and not feel you have to promote the dialogue. Give him a 'safe space' to talk. It will be clear to you when he is ready.

Unhelpful responses to someone who has tried to take their life include dramatising the event, criticising, panicking, being angry and making the person feel guilty or selfish.

Helpful things to say are words such as 'I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad, I'm so glad you're still here' and 'Tell me what I can do to support you because I want to help you'. Make sure they know that you're always there for them and that they can always talk to you.

We are all here for you, mate. Take care.

Stu

Wow, Stu. Very intelligent and inspirational post, as usual.

[stu in nottingham]

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Wow, Stu. Very intelligent and inspirational post, as usual.

It's a part of my job and also I had to learn the hard way by experience but thank you mate.

I care for and feel protective of the people in this community, as so many others do. We're family. People here stepped forward for me and were fantastically kind when I needed support and a little propping up and we don't forget these things.

[Sir David Gray]

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It's important for you to understand that these feelings of guilt are very common in others where suicides and attempted suicides are concerned, you are by no means alone nor peculiar in those thoughts. In completed suicides there can even be feelings of relief, say for someone who was really suffering. Of course that in itself can cause guilt too. Other feelings are commonly those of anger, shame, fear and avoidance etc. it's a strange cocktail of feelings which is unlike other situations

A suicide bereavement counsellor in a phone call in the days after said to me that there are two questions survivors (i.e. close ones) always ask themselves after the event, one is 'could I have done more?' the other being simply 'why?' Of course in completed suicides these questions can never be answered for obvious reasons. I found myself doing this too. When emotions calmed I realised there was nothing more I could have done. I think you will too with your father.

Quite often, people with suicidal feelings don't want to burden or worry others with them and so don't talk about them. A majority of people who have suicidal feelings do not actually want to do, more accurately they don't want to live the life they are leading and this is why they should seek support by talking. Equally they should seek support as actively feeling suicidal is often temporary, say if someone has been struggling to cope with problems in their life for some time.

I think there is a big point here and that is to allow your father to speak about it in his own time, when he feels able. Your role is to be there when he is ready to talk and not feel you have to promote the dialogue. Give him a 'safe space' to talk. It will be clear to you when he is ready.

Unhelpful responses to someone who has tried to take their life include dramatising the event, criticising, panicking, being angry and making the person feel guilty or selfish.

Helpful things to say are words such as 'I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad, I'm so glad you're still here' and 'Tell me what I can do to support you because I want to help you'. Make sure they know that you're always there for them and that they can always talk to you.

We are all here for you, mate. Take care.

Stu

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Wow, Stu. Very intelligent and inspirational post, as usual.

I would just like to echo these sentiments.

Outstanding post and definitely a source of great comfort to me at this extremely difficult time.

[21.05.2016]

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I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

So sorry to hear this, what an awful experience for you. I hope he's doing ok and receiving the help he needs to get back on his feet again.

[Sir David Gray]

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So sorry to hear this, what an awful experience for you. I hope he's doing ok and receiving the help he needs to get back on his feet again.

Cheers mate, yeah it's been a tough time for the family to say the least.

My dad got home last Friday and has been making progress every day. He's opening up about the issues which caused him to do what he did last week which has really helped him and we have spoken about various things as a family which, again, has helped us all.

I still have my moments and Christmas Day was a very challenging day for us all but we are slowly coming to terms with what's happened and finding a way to overcome the problems my dad was facing so that we can try to do all that we can to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

[stu in nottingham]

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Cheers mate, yeah it's been a tough time for the family to say the least.

My dad got home last Friday and has been making progress every day. He's opening up about the issues which caused him to do what he did last week which has really helped him and we have spoken about various things as a family which, again, has helped us all.

I still have my moments and Christmas Day was a very challenging day for us all but we are slowly coming to terms with what's happened and finding a way to overcome the problems my dad was facing so that we can try to do all that we can to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

So glad to hear of the steady progress. It's heartening to hear that your dad and all the family are talking meaningfully. I can very much understand your Christmas Day experience, it's a time when emotions, feelings and memories are often heightened for many, let alone those like your family who have very recently been through such a critical situation. It might be said that returning to a normal routine is a friend in these situations Please remember to be kind to yourself also.

I'm sure your father will have been offered some professional support. Perhaps he may not feel (nor indeed be ready) to talk to a professional so close after the trauma. In the future though it is worth considering that it can be very helpful talking to a professional, whether that simply be a GP or referral to a counsellor or other practitioner who is removed from the situation. Again, it is a safe place for your dad to talk about whatever he feels the need to, without the fear of upsetting family members.

My best wishes to your family.

[wpj]

Happy New Year to all who use this thread or know someone who suffers from depression and or anxiety. Thanks to all for sharing, it means a lot 😊

[CropleyWasGod]

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Happy New Year to all who use this thread or know someone who suffers from depression and or anxiety. Thanks to all for sharing, it means a lot

Back at you, mate

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[21.05.2016]

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Cheers mate, yeah it's been a tough time for the family to say the least.

My dad got home last Friday and has been making progress every day. He's opening up about the issues which caused him to do what he did last week which has really helped him and we have spoken about various things as a family which, again, has helped us all.

I still have my moments and Christmas Day was a very challenging day for us all but we are slowly coming to terms with what's happened and finding a way to overcome the problems my dad was facing so that we can try to do all that we can to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

One of my best mates has suffered with severe depression for years and at the start of last year attempted to take her own life. Thankfully she was found in time and taken to hospital. Like you, I was totally devastated and struggled to know what to do for the best.

It's a long road mate but she's now doing a lot better and seeing things far more positively. Don't get me wrong she still has her dark days now and again (as I guess we all do) but definatly in a far better place. I'm sure with the right support and treatment your dad too will get to the light at the end of the tunnel as well.

Keep strong.

[Sylar]

Tomorrow marks my first day back after the New Year, and it's likely to be a little bittersweet.

On the one hand, I'm glad to be through the back of the holidays and pretty ever-present family for the past 2 weeks (it's been especially rough this year, as our wee one is 8 months old and the jewel in the family just now). Family really aren't intended to be 'enjoyed' in such a persistent concentration, and I always find myself glad when the holiday season is done.

On the other hand, it's back to early starts, the dark commute, the having to play nice with others I don't ordinarily engage with. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job and I work in a positively challenging environment (well, positive apart from the constant attacks on social media regarding our 'political alignment'), but something about the return to routine has me thoroughly uncomfortable this evening.

Small potatoes compared to some of the other issues being discussed on here over the Holidays, but my entire body has been buzzing today as my anxiety ramps up again!

[wpj]

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Tomorrow marks my first day back after the New Year, and it's likely to be a little bittersweet.

On the one hand, I'm glad to be through the back of the holidays and pretty ever-present family for the past 2 weeks (it's been especially rough this year, as our wee one is 8 months old and the jewel in the family just now). Family really aren't intended to be 'enjoyed' in such a persistent concentration, and I always find myself glad when the holiday season is done.

On the other hand, it's back to early starts, the dark commute, the having to play nice with others I don't ordinarily engage with. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job and I work in a positively challenging environment (well, positive apart from the constant attacks on social media regarding our 'political alignment'), but something about the return to routine has me thoroughly uncomfortable this evening.

Small potatoes compared to some of the other issues being discussed on here over the Holidays, but my entire body has been buzzing today as my anxiety ramps up again!

Not small potatoes at all mate. Really struggling this week after a family get together which was great. Work is knocking the crap out of me and I am counting down the hours until the weekend. Got a footie session booked with my wee girl which is my main focus this week. Hope things get better for you.....

[lord bunberry]

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Not small potatoes at all mate. Really struggling this week after a family get together which was great. Work is knocking the crap out of me and I am counting down the hours until the weekend. Got a footie session booked with my wee girl which is my main focus this week. Hope things get better for you.....

That’s a very important point you make about giving yourself something to focus on. I’ve been going through an extended rough spell, and I alway find that giving myself something to look forward to helps a bit. For me it has to be something that doesn’t involve a lot of interaction with people other than my family( I’ve not made the last few hibs games despite having a season ticket). Planning even the smallest of things to do at the end of the week helps me enormously.

[Greenworld]

It will be a tough month for many, January always is ,as people say
going back to work
Dealing with debit over Xmas
Just dealing with people again all normal things for most but enough to boost the anxiety/ Depression of others.
It's fantastic that this thread is here and I would urge people to use it to share there issues.
We can help each other as you are amoung understanding people who have been through many things .
Please don't try and deal with these things yourself . Once you talk to someone you make the first huge step towards a better life.
I'm lucky I have a great doctor I speak to every few months it keeps me going along with the pills
Were here to help


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[21.05.2016]

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It will be a tough month for many, January always is ,as people say
going back to work
Dealing with debit over Xmas
Just dealing with people again all normal things for most but enough to boost the anxiety/ Depression of others.
It's fantastic that this thread is here and I would urge people to use it to share there issues.
We can help each other as you are amoung understanding people who have been through many things .
Please don't try and deal with these things yourself . Once you talk to someone you make the first huge step towards a better life.
I'm lucky I have a great doctor I speak to every few months it keeps me going along with the pills
Were here to help


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

Well said, Greenworld Sometimes talking, even to strangers can ease a bit of the burden. Threads like this let people know that they aren't alone and it's not uncommon to feel the way they do. Mental health affects so many of us - whether it be suffering yourself or know a loved one who is.

We need to get more people talking about mental health. Although it's getting better, there still is a stigma around the subject and people feel ashamed to talk about it. I know that for me, it sometimes felt that telling people would just make you a a burden on them or that people might think your just attention seeking. This is not the case, there are so many people and organisations out there that genuinely want to listen and help but we need to completely eradicate the fear of speaking out. I sadly know a young man who took his life a few years back, nobody knew he was depressed, he never spoke to anyone, everything seemed absolutely fine. I just wish he'd opened up to someone - it could have potentially saved his life.

[wpj]

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That’s a very important point you make about giving yourself something to focus on. I’ve been going through an extended rough spell, and I alway find that giving myself something to look forward to helps a bit. For me it has to be something that doesn’t involve a lot of interaction with people other than my family( I’ve not made the last few hibs games despite having a season ticket). Planning even the smallest of things to do at the end of the week helps me enormously.

Well I went to my wee girl's first footie session and she absolutely loved it! didn't quite understand everything but she's like her dad in that aspect. Booking a block of lessons now so it will be my focus for a few weeks at least. She scored a "penalty" ran the full length of the hall with her arms in the air to hug me, probably a booking but the most golden moment for me to hold onto to in a long time.

[Mr White]

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Well I went to my wee girl's first footie session and she absolutely loved it! didn't quite understand everything but she's like her dad in that aspect. Booking a block of lessons now so it will be my focus for a few weeks at least. She scored a "penalty" ran the full length of the hall with her arms in the air to hug me, probably a booking but the most golden moment for me to hold onto to in a long time.

That's a memory to cherish right there... brilliant

[lord bunberry]

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Well I went to my wee girl's first footie session and she absolutely loved it! didn't quite understand everything but she's like her dad in that aspect. Booking a block of lessons now so it will be my focus for a few weeks at least. She scored a "penalty" ran the full length of the hall with her arms in the air to hug me, probably a booking but the most golden moment for me to hold onto to in a long time.

Excellent stuff.

[Sir David Gray]

I was wondering if anyone on here had any knowledge of how a suicide attempt would affect home and car insurance policies.

My dad has become fixated over the past week or so with the possibility that he may not be legally allowed to drive, that his car insurance is now invalid and today he's also now saying that his home insurance is invalid.

I don't believe that any of this is actually true, especially with the home insurance, but he is adamant that both policies are at risk because he attempted to take his life.

I've had a quick look online and whilst it looks like a mental health problem could potentially increase premiums on car insurance, it's by no means a clear cut decision and the provider often needs to prove that the driver is an increased risk to other road users due to medication etc before they can increase someone's premiums.

My dad has been told by mental health home visitors and also a mental health consultant that there is nothing about his mental state or anything in any medication that he has been prescribed that makes him unable to drive but he's now got it in his head that he wouldn't be insured in the event of an accident due to the fact he attempted suicide. He's gone and phoned DVLA today and told them that he has a notifiable medical condition (which he hasn't) and now they have sent out forms that he'll need to complete.

The same goes for his home insurance. He believes that because of his suicide attempt, the home insurance is now invalid because the provider could look at it and say that he might decide to do it again and this time it could involve burning the house down.

Is anyone able to provide any links to evidence that proves he doesn't have anything to worry about because I'm at my wits end regarding this and I just don't know what to say to help him.

[Smartie]

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I was wondering if anyone on here had any knowledge of how a suicide attempt would affect home and car insurance policies.

My dad has become fixated over the past week or so with the possibility that he may not be legally allowed to drive, that his car insurance is now invalid and today he's also now saying that his home insurance is invalid.

I don't believe that any of this is actually true, especially with the home insurance, but he is adamant that both policies are at risk because he attempted to take his life.

I've had a quick look online and whilst it looks like a mental health problem could potentially increase premiums on car insurance, it's by no means a clear cut decision and the provider often needs to prove that the driver is an increased risk to other road users due to medication etc before they can increase someone's premiums.

My dad has been told by mental health home visitors and also a mental health consultant that there is nothing about his mental state or anything in any medication that he has been prescribed that makes him unable to drive but he's now got it in his head that he wouldn't be insured in the event of an accident due to the fact he attempted suicide. He's gone and phoned DVLA today and told them that he has a notifiable medical condition (which he hasn't) and now they have sent out forms that he'll need to complete.

The same goes for his home insurance. He believes that because of his suicide attempt, the home insurance is now invalid because the provider could look at it and say that he might decide to do it again and this time it could involve burning the house down.

Is anyone able to provide any links to evidence that proves he doesn't have anything to worry about because I'm at my wits end regarding this and I just don't know what to say to help him.

(Disclaimer - I don't know what I'm talking about, so take this advice with caution).

His concerns are in many ways reasonable. Someone should be able to answer his questions with some knowledge, I cannot.

The problem is that there MIGHT be news that he doesn't like. How able is he to accept that right now? Having been in a bad place, having done what he has done, the last thing he might need is for it to seem like his problems are escalating by his policies being affected (they may or may not be).

I would be speaking to whichever health professionals you are in contact with about the fact that he has these concerns. He is effectively escalating problems (reasonably or otherwise) in his own head, which isn't a good thing, and I think you need to take serious professional advice on what you can and can't/ should and shouldn't say to him.

I know it sounds simple and dismissive, but his full focus needs to be on getting better - he has been/ still may well be, seriously mentally ill. People can recover from mental illnesses, so even if for example he is not allowed to drive for now, if he gets better he should be allowed to drive in future. I would be very surprised if a suicide attempt meant a permanent ban from driving.

What he is describing sounds to me like a "fear of catastrophe" - that his actions might bring about a disproportionately large reaction - I think the escalation of a suicide attempt to possibly being denied insurance as he is a risk of burning the house down is an over-escalation. I think that thinking he may be permanently be banned from driving is probably an over-escalation.

I have no basis in fact for this, but I suspect certain insurance premiums may go up. No big deal. Collectively you may have to choose a luxury somewhere that you have to do without in order to pay these premiums - as I say, in the grand scheme of things, unimportant. What IS important is that you still have your Dad, and what is most important is his recovery.

Again I have no basis for this - he may not be allowed to drive for a while. No big deal. He may have to make slightly different travel arrangements until he recovers, then he'll be fine again.


I must stress though - I think this escalation of matters in his head is a symptom, is a warning sign and I would urge you to speak to a health professional asap to get proper advice from someone who knows what they are talking about (I do not).

(Once more I must stress - the stuff I have said about insurance etc is opinion only - I have no knowledge of how insurance policies work, and I don't have much knowledge of mental illness either, other than anecdotal stuff I've picked up along the way.)