hibs.net Messageboard

Page 31 of 43 FirstFirst ... 21293031323341 ... LastLast
Results 901 to 930 of 1283
  1. 24-06-2021 12:52 PM #901
    Moulin Yarns
    Moulin Yarns is offline
    @hibs.net private member Moulin Yarns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Spinning a Yarn
    Posts
    26,048
    Partick thistle, known as the the jags in Scotland, but the jabs in England.


    I'll tell the same joke in 8 weeks so that you are double jagged. 😉
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

    2. Log in to remove the advert

  2. 02-07-2021 04:16 PM #902
    J-C
    J-C is online now
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    65
    Posts
    31,118
    I'm late for the National Flatfish Cookery Competition.Better get my skates on.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. 02-07-2021 04:16 PM #903
    J-C
    J-C is online now
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    65
    Posts
    31,118
    Found a load of little chinese sailing boats in the toilet.Thats it, no more junk food.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 02-07-2021 04:17 PM #904
    J-C
    J-C is online now
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    65
    Posts
    31,118
    Hello is that 555555?"Yes" can you call an ambulance for me. I've glued my finger to the phone !
    Last edited by J-C; 02-07-2021 at 04:19 PM.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. 04-07-2021 12:41 PM #905
    Scouse Hibee
    Scouse Hibee is offline
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Age
    56
    Posts
    22,365
    A Scottish man, an Irish man and a Welsh man walk into a pub, there’s normally an English man but he’s still at Euro 2020 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 04-07-2021 12:47 PM #906
    Just Alf
    Just Alf is offline
    @hibs.net private member Just Alf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    The 'Mains
    Posts
    5,790
    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    A Scottish man, an Irish man and a Welsh man walk into a pub, there’s normally an English man but he’s still at Euro 2020 󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿



    Ha ha! Give you that one!



    I suppose
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 06-07-2021 10:36 PM #907
    c31
    c31 is online now
    Testimonial Due
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,098
    Blog Entries
    1
    Magician: I can make anything disappear.
    Tom: (Holding cup), okay, make my tea disappear
    Magician: Shazam
    om: Nothing happened?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 06-07-2021 11:14 PM #908
    147lothian
    147lothian is offline
    @hibs.net private member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Easter Road
    Posts
    1,540
    How do you chat up a farm girl?

    A tractor
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 15-07-2021 08:31 AM #909
    Speedy
    Speedy is offline
    @hibs.net private member Speedy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    8,479
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 15-07-2021 09:42 AM #910
    speedy_gonzales
    speedy_gonzales is online now
    @hibs.net private member speedy_gonzales's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Age
    49
    Posts
    2,537
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Now that's a smart joke!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 15-07-2021 11:00 AM #911
    Hibrandenburg
    Hibrandenburg is offline
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    17,020
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Maybe I'm too thick to understand the joke. Does it have something to do with the White Star Line and Cocaine?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 15-07-2021 11:06 AM #912
    CropleyWasGod
    CropleyWasGod is offline
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    28,940
    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Maybe I'm too thick to understand the joke. Does it have something to do with the White Star Line and Cocaine?
    Read it aloud.

    Disclaimer. Unless you're at it, and I've been whooshed 😆
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 15-07-2021 11:36 AM #913
    StevieT
    StevieT is online now
    @hibs.net private member StevieT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Letham, Angus
    Age
    62
    Posts
    961
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Very good
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 15-07-2021 12:22 PM #914
    weecounty hibby
    weecounty hibby is online now
    @hibs.net private member weecounty hibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    The wee *****y of course
    Posts
    8,585
    Please help me. I'm still no getting it
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 15-07-2021 12:34 PM #915
    CropleyWasGod
    CropleyWasGod is offline
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    28,940
    Quote Originally Posted by weecounty hibby View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Please help me. I'm still no getting it
    Read it aloud. Pause after Kofi.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  16. 15-07-2021 12:36 PM #916
    Hibrandenburg
    Hibrandenburg is offline
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    17,020
    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Read it aloud.

    Disclaimer. Unless you're at it, and I've been whooshed 😆
    Go chat!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  17. 15-07-2021 01:08 PM #917
    Moulin Yarns
    Moulin Yarns is offline
    @hibs.net private member Moulin Yarns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Spinning a Yarn
    Posts
    26,048
    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Go chat!
    🤣🤣
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  18. 15-07-2021 01:14 PM #918
    Scouse Hibee
    Scouse Hibee is offline
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Age
    56
    Posts
    22,365
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    😂
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  19. 15-07-2021 01:28 PM #919
    CmoantheHibs
    CmoantheHibs is offline
    Testimonial Due CmoantheHibs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Chiang Mai
    Posts
    2,592
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Took me a few reads but I got there.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  20. 15-07-2021 05:09 PM #920
    Just Alf
    Just Alf is offline
    @hibs.net private member Just Alf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    The 'Mains
    Posts
    5,790
    Quote Originally Posted by CmoantheHibs View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Took me a few reads but I got there.
    I was tearing my hair out at one point!... certainly fits the thread title!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  21. 15-07-2021 05:29 PM #921
    weecounty hibby
    weecounty hibby is online now
    @hibs.net private member weecounty hibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    The wee *****y of course
    Posts
    8,585
    Seven hours later and I've finally got it!!🙃
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  22. 15-07-2021 06:29 PM #922
    Peanut Shaz
    Peanut Shaz is offline
    @hibs.net private member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    414
    Quote Originally Posted by weecounty hibby View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Seven hours later and I've finally got it!!🙃

    Me too. Quite chuffed actually
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  23. 15-07-2021 07:04 PM #923
    Hiber-nation
    Hiber-nation is online now
    @hibs.net private member Hiber-nation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Musselburgh
    Age
    66
    Posts
    19,567
    Quote Originally Posted by weecounty hibby View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Seven hours later and I've finally got it!!🙃
    Took me 5 minutes but I don't actually find it funny
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  24. 16-07-2021 07:33 PM #924
    Hibrandenburg
    Hibrandenburg is offline
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    17,020
    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionised".
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  25. 18-07-2021 11:34 AM #925
    Killiehibbie
    Killiehibbie is offline
    Testimonial Due Killiehibbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,298
    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionised".
    No chance I could ever have been a chemist.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  26. 18-07-2021 11:38 AM #926
    NORTHERNHIBBY
    NORTHERNHIBBY is offline
    @hibs.net private member NORTHERNHIBBY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Last Train to Skaville
    Age
    58
    Posts
    13,423
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Brilliant. That's in a tie with the photographer joke for the best slow burner.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  27. 18-07-2021 12:09 PM #927
    Moulin Yarns
    Moulin Yarns is offline
    @hibs.net private member Moulin Yarns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Spinning a Yarn
    Posts
    26,048
    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionised".
    I think that might get a negative reaction. 😉
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  28. 18-07-2021 12:45 PM #928
    Peevemor
    Peevemor is offline
    Left by mutual consent! Peevemor's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Saint-Malo, Brittany
    Age
    56
    Posts
    28,678
    Quote Originally Posted by NORTHERNHIBBY View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Brilliant. That's in a tie with the photographer joke for the best slow burner.
    3 days for me!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  29. 22-07-2021 12:54 PM #929
    J-C
    J-C is online now
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    65
    Posts
    31,118
    Was trying to sell my pet python.
    Guy asks "Is it big?"
    I said "Huge"
    He says "How many feet?"
    I said "None, it's a snake"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  30. 24-07-2021 08:26 PM #930
    NORTHERNHIBBY
    NORTHERNHIBBY is offline
    @hibs.net private member NORTHERNHIBBY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Last Train to Skaville
    Age
    58
    Posts
    13,423
    Elton John bought his pet rabbit a treadmill for Christmas. Now it's a little fit bunny.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules

hibs.net ©2020 All Rights Reserved
- Mobile Leaderboard (320x50) - Leaderboard (728x90)