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  1. 24-06-2021 12:52 PM #901
    Moulin Yarns
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    Partick thistle, known as the the jags in Scotland, but the jabs in England.


    I'll tell the same joke in 8 weeks so that you are double jagged. 😉
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.
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  2. 02-07-2021 04:16 PM #902
    J-C
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    I'm late for the National Flatfish Cookery Competition.Better get my skates on.
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  3. 02-07-2021 04:16 PM #903
    J-C
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    Found a load of little chinese sailing boats in the toilet.Thats it, no more junk food.
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  4. 02-07-2021 04:17 PM #904
    J-C
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    Hello is that 555555?"Yes" can you call an ambulance for me. I've glued my finger to the phone !
    Last edited by J-C; 02-07-2021 at 04:19 PM.
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  5. 04-07-2021 12:41 PM #905
    Scouse Hibee
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    A Scottish man, an Irish man and a Welsh man walk into a pub, there’s normally an English man but he’s still at Euro 2020 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
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  6. 04-07-2021 12:47 PM #906
    Just Alf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    A Scottish man, an Irish man and a Welsh man walk into a pub, there’s normally an English man but he’s still at Euro 2020 󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿



    Ha ha! Give you that one!



    I suppose
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  7. 06-07-2021 10:36 PM #907
    c31
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    Magician: I can make anything disappear.
    Tom: (Holding cup), okay, make my tea disappear
    Magician: Shazam
    om: Nothing happened?
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  8. 06-07-2021 11:14 PM #908
    147lothian
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    How do you chat up a farm girl?

    A tractor
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  9. 15-07-2021 08:31 AM #909
    Speedy
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
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  10. 15-07-2021 09:42 AM #910
    speedy_gonzales
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Now that's a smart joke!
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  11. 15-07-2021 11:00 AM #911
    Hibrandenburg
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Maybe I'm too thick to understand the joke. Does it have something to do with the White Star Line and Cocaine?
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  12. 15-07-2021 11:06 AM #912
    CropleyWasGod
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Maybe I'm too thick to understand the joke. Does it have something to do with the White Star Line and Cocaine?
    Read it aloud.

    Disclaimer. Unless you're at it, and I've been whooshed 😆
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  13. 15-07-2021 11:36 AM #913
    StevieT
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Very good
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  14. 15-07-2021 12:22 PM #914
    weecounty hibby
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    Please help me. I'm still no getting it
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  15. 15-07-2021 12:34 PM #915
    CropleyWasGod
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    Quote Originally Posted by weecounty hibby View Post
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    Please help me. I'm still no getting it
    Read it aloud. Pause after Kofi.
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  16. 15-07-2021 12:36 PM #916
    Hibrandenburg
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Read it aloud.

    Disclaimer. Unless you're at it, and I've been whooshed 😆
    Go chat!
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  17. 15-07-2021 01:08 PM #917
    Moulin Yarns
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Go chat!
    🤣🤣
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.
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  18. 15-07-2021 01:14 PM #918
    Scouse Hibee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    😂
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  19. 15-07-2021 01:28 PM #919
    CmoantheHibs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Took me a few reads but I got there.
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  20. 15-07-2021 05:09 PM #920
    Just Alf
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    Quote Originally Posted by CmoantheHibs View Post
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    Took me a few reads but I got there.
    I was tearing my hair out at one point!... certainly fits the thread title!

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  21. 15-07-2021 05:29 PM #921
    weecounty hibby
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    Seven hours later and I've finally got it!!🙃
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  22. 15-07-2021 06:29 PM #922
    Peanut Shaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by weecounty hibby View Post
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    Seven hours later and I've finally got it!!🙃

    Me too. Quite chuffed actually
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  23. 15-07-2021 07:04 PM #923
    Hiber-nation
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    Quote Originally Posted by weecounty hibby View Post
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    Seven hours later and I've finally got it!!🙃
    Took me 5 minutes but I don't actually find it funny
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  24. 16-07-2021 07:33 PM #924
    Hibrandenburg
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    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionised".
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  25. 18-07-2021 11:34 AM #925
    Killiehibbie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionised".
    No chance I could ever have been a chemist.
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  26. 18-07-2021 11:38 AM #926
    NORTHERNHIBBY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    When I worked in the UN, I was asked to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.

    After an hour or so I went to him and said:

    Kofi, at the moment the only thing I have is 'Oceanic'
    Brilliant. That's in a tie with the photographer joke for the best slow burner.
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  27. 18-07-2021 12:09 PM #927
    Moulin Yarns
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionised".
    I think that might get a negative reaction. 😉
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.
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  28. 18-07-2021 12:45 PM #928
    Peevemor
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    Quote Originally Posted by NORTHERNHIBBY View Post
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    Brilliant. That's in a tie with the photographer joke for the best slow burner.
    3 days for me!
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  29. 22-07-2021 12:54 PM #929
    J-C
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    Was trying to sell my pet python.
    Guy asks "Is it big?"
    I said "Huge"
    He says "How many feet?"
    I said "None, it's a snake"
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  30. 24-07-2021 08:26 PM #930
    NORTHERNHIBBY
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    Elton John bought his pet rabbit a treadmill for Christmas. Now it's a little fit bunny.
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