Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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Good to see this thread bumped again.

Truth be told I've been having an utterly ***** time of it the last few weeks. Contrary to most people who's depression and anxiety tends to get worse in the winter I tend to get worse in the summer. My hayfever and asthma plays up in the summer and that leads to my mind running away and imagining my symptoms are something far more serious than they are. I came close having my first full blown panic attack in about 2 years in Tesco a couple of weeks back, dropped my basket and ran out the door as I was sure I was going to faint and couldn't breathe, just about managed to get it under control. I've also been really short with people and become far more argumentative than usual which is always a sure sign I'm struggling a bit. This all leads to me getting very frustrated with myself and that in turn makes me more anxious which makes me frustrated again and so the circle goes on. I've also been a bit paranoid about people hiding things from me or lying to me which isn't unusual but has been under control for a long while.

As well as the above mentioned problem with my mind running away with itself regarding my hayfever and illness we have also been dealing with a family illness that has been very stressful for everyone and work has been tough lately as well. I've tried to keep busy, walked 20+ miles last weekend and climbed 2 Munros and forced myself to the Scottish Open this weekend. Trying to keep active as the urge to just lie about feeling sorry for myself is strong but I know it's unhelpful.


I can relate to a lot of that PB. The light nights in the summer play havoc with my sleeping pattern. I actually prefer the dark nights as I feel I sleep better. Hay fever is just an added pain in the arse I could do without as just like when I get a cold I really have to watch I don't slip into the habit of locking myself away from everyone. I'm 45 today and have suffered with bipolar since I was about 21. However, I would say the past 5 years I have lived with it. Acceptance is huge. For years I wanted to, and did blame others, mostly my family. My wife got the brunt of it as I would snap at her for making me feel crap. I have learned to first and foremost step back from situations and question why she is telling me something. To be honest 9 times out of 10 it's because I'm acting strange and I can't see it. I am so lucky to have someone who is patient and understands my illness and the way it makes me act sometimes. As others have said, this thread can be a sounding board for people and is without doubt the best and most important one on this forum. Stick in mate... Good things happen to good people.