Depression and anxiety

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Originally Posted by matty_f

That’s tragic, is there anything to link the two deaths to the extended lockdown decision?

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Do you think lockdown with no social release valve helps when your as low as it goes?

That’s sadly four young men in the space of four days, it’s absolutely tragic.

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Originally Posted by PaulSmith

Do you think lockdown with no social release valve helps when your as low as it goes?

That’s sadly four young men in the space of four days, it’s absolutely tragic.

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I don’t think it helps at all, but i would be reluctant to put 2 and 2 together to link them in these specific cases without some knowledge of them.

It may very well be that was the tipping point, but it could be any number of reasons and it’s probably not appropriate to speculate.

I hold my hands up and say i don’t know anything about the deaths other than to say that they’re tragic, my question wasn’t meant to be arsey so i apologise if that’s how it came across, i was genuinely curious if there was a known link to lockdown that caused it out of that was just speculation.

I'd just like to say how much I appreciate this thread.

Simply knowing that there are other people who suffer from anxiety and depression is, in my view a great support.

I read this thread a lot but rarely contribute.

Has anyone read about or tried open / cold water swimming? If not, there is evidence that it may be helpful for some.

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Originally Posted by judas

I'd just like to say how much I appreciate this thread.

Simply knowing that there are other people who suffer from anxiety and depression is, in my view a great support.

I read this thread a lot but rarely contribute.

Has anyone read about or tried open / cold water swimming? If not, there is evidence that it may be helpful for some.

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I dip 2 or 3 times a week but I just go in to meditate and feel the buzz of endorphins..Ive been doing it for a couple of years now but prefer going in now because at this time of your rather than summer as no one expects you to have to actually swim. So I get the bump of endorphins kicking into action & I get the chance to focus the mind and stop fighting back on the shock. Its been shown to stimulate the vegus nerve which helps with relaxation.

Ive friends who do it for mental health benefits and it has made a massive difference to their lives. The danger with attaching welling to any external thing is that if that thing isnt available any more (certainly this is the case for so many during lockdown)..That perceived happy place is no longer there which isnt true.

I certainly recommend it but I would ease into it. Start of with cold showers and increase you tolerence..If you do go it a go 100% do it with someone else, even if your not swimming just dipping

Wim Hoffs new book has plenty of info (IVe not read it but I have done his foundation course & have been following the breathwork, press ups & cold showers for a couple of years)..Heres a link to his page https://www.wimhofmethod.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation

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Originally Posted by matty_f

I don’t think it helps at all, but i would be reluctant to put 2 and 2 together to link them in these specific cases without some knowledge of them.

It may very well be that was the tipping point, but it could be any number of reasons and it’s probably not appropriate to speculate.

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I think that's right. When my partner died from suicide the story was in the media. Below one report, the comments section had people pontificating on the reasons for her death, mainly about the political climate contributing to the incident. It was nothing about that and everything to do with her mental health. It didn't particularly bother me but it doesn't feel very sensitive.

I'm sorry to hear about the four deaths in Edinburgh. Similar happened here just before Christmas with four deaths in four days. There's a lot being said about support for people with mental health problems coinciding with the pandemic. Far less actually being done about it though sadly.

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Originally Posted by judas

I'd just like to say how much I appreciate this thread.

Simply knowing that there are other people who suffer from anxiety and depression is, in my view a great support.

I read this thread a lot but rarely contribute.

Has anyone read about or tried open / cold water swimming? If not, there is evidence that it may be helpful for some.

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It does help enormously. I’ve had to make some adjustments to my own circumstances recently as I recognise the signs having seen close friends take the ultimate decision not to continue which forced me into privately reading up on as much as I can on mental health.

Our work has been fantastic with some inspirational guest speakers and the leadership team has been amazing.

Having seen the collateral damage caused by suicide, I’m as certain as I can be, that I’d never join my old mucker for a pint until nature takes its course. So the very few on here that do know me personally don’t need to worry..

Being brutally honest this site itself can be respite or hell.. hence why recently I tried (and failed) to remind posters that there’s a human at the end of every fake user name. Debate is great and I love it as much as anyone but pathetically I let it get to me when it became a little personal (which is the pathetic part as here’s me using a moniker!) That’s not a dig at anyone but I try my best these days to read things back and question if I’m debating or baiting.

Ive always worked as hard as I could to strive to provide better for my family and to play as hard as I can. That latter element has been gone now for almost a year. I know I’m not alone in what I’m saying and I’m thankful that I still have employment.. god only knows what I’d be like without that.

So I’d say keep reading positive stuff (Ant Middleton’s book on resilience was brilliant for me), confide in people, open up and be yourself as your likely to be great.

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Originally Posted by PaulSmith

It does help enormously. I’ve had to make some adjustments to my own circumstances recently as I recognise the signs having seen close friends take the ultimate decision not to continue which forced me into privately reading up on as much as I can on mental health.

Our work has been fantastic with some inspirational guest speakers and the leadership team has been amazing.

Having seen the collateral damage caused by suicide, I’m as certain as I can be, that I’d never join my old mucker for a pint until nature takes its course. So the very few on here that do know me personally don’t need to worry..

Being brutally honest this site itself can be respite or hell.. hence why recently I tried (and failed) to remind posters that there’s a human at the end of every fake user name. Debate is great and I love it as much as anyone but pathetically I let it get to me when it became a little personal (which is the pathetic part as here’s me using a moniker!) That’s not a dig at anyone but I try my best these days to read things back and question if I’m debating or baiting.

Ive always worked as hard as I could to strive to provide better for my family and to play as hard as I can. That latter element has been gone now for almost a year. I know I’m not alone in what I’m saying and I’m thankful that I still have employment.. god only knows what I’d be like without that.

So I’d say keep reading positive stuff (Ant Middleton’s book on resilience was brilliant for me), confide in people, open up and be yourself as your likely to be great.

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Good post. :agree:

I had a friend who committed suicide a few weeks back.

My nan died about an hour before I was told my mate and the lad who phoned me to tell me had also lost a baby.

Bit of a shocker of a day that. 2020 was worst ever with catching covid too.

I seem to be holding up quite well considering. If anyone needs a chat message me.

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

I dip 2 or 3 times a week but I just go in to meditate and feel the buzz of endorphins..Ive been doing it for a couple of years now but prefer going in now because at this time of your rather than summer as no one expects you to have to actually swim. So I get the bump of endorphins kicking into action & I get the chance to focus the mind and stop fighting back on the shock. Its been shown to stimulate the vegus nerve which helps with relaxation.

Ive friends who do it for mental health benefits and it has made a massive difference to their lives. The danger with attaching welling to any external thing is that if that thing isnt available any more (certainly this is the case for so many during lockdown)..That perceived happy place is no longer there which isnt true.

I certainly recommend it but I would ease into it. Start of with cold showers and increase you tolerence..If you do go it a go 100% do it with someone else, even if your not swimming just dipping

Wim Hoffs new book has plenty of info (IVe not read it but I have done his foundation course & have been following the breathwork, press ups & cold showers for a couple of years)..Heres a link to his page https://www.wimhofmethod.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation

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This is terrific Dalianwanda and I really appreciate the advice. You anticipated some of my questions which is great and I will certainly follow up on the book.

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Originally Posted by HH81

I had a friend who committed suicide a few weeks back.

My nan died about an hour before I was told my mate and the lad who phoned me to tell me had also lost a baby.

Bit of a shocker of a day that. 2020 was worst ever with catching covid too.

I seem to be holding up quite well considering. If anyone needs a chat message me.

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I'm glad you're doing as well as possible. It's strange how these things can happen in clusters in a tragic coincidence. You experienced a lot in a short space of time.

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Originally Posted by judas

This is terrific Dalianwanda and I really appreciate the advice. You anticipated some of my questions which is great and I will certainly follow up on the book.

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No worries, i forgot to mention getting in with others can be a pretty good laugh. Not taking yourself to seriously is part of he appeal :-)

I've been listening to Wim Hof podcasts & audio books for about a year now. Fantastic, such a positive guy!

Have a cold shower every morning for about 15mins. Totally invigorates you and strangely raises your mood for the day ahead.

Sadly I still haven't plucked up the courage to get into the sea yet.

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Originally Posted by Coco Bryce

I've been listening to Wim Hof podcasts & audio books for about a year now. Fantastic, such a positive guy!

Have a cold shower every morning for about 15mins. Totally invigorates you and strangely raises your mood for the day ahead.

Sadly I still haven't plucked up the courage to get into the sea yet.

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I’ve tried the cold shower thing and it’s horrific. It actually puts me in a bad mood because I’m voluntarily making myself cold and uncomfortable 😂

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

I’ve tried the cold shower thing and it’s horrific. It actually puts me in a bad mood because I’m voluntarily making myself cold and uncomfortable 😂

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You do get used to them...honest :greengrin

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

I’ve tried the cold shower thing and it’s horrific. It actually puts me in a bad mood because I’m voluntarily making myself cold and uncomfortable 😂

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Maybe your water wasn’t cold enough :-)
That’s part of it. Teaching yourself not to react and all the mind to add labels :-) I only do 5mins cold shower, i think 2mins provides the health benefits, more than that is just about allowing and endurance.

A few bodies in the water at Porty this afternoon, no thanks! 😲

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

A few bodies in the water at Porty this afternoon, no thanks! 😲

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Matty_f been out slaying again I take it? Jail is too good for that monster.

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

Matty_f been out slaying again I take it? Jail is too good for that monster.

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He's gonna need a bigger boat!

Evening all, I thought I’d share something I posted on my Facebook early last week after a few tragic incidents pretty close to home recently.

Today was the first walk and around 20 people joined me, socially distanced, and it seemed to be exactly what a few of them needed.

I hadn’t realised this post was in here so thought I’d share it here incase it touches anything in anybody who may need it. I will be doing it every Sunday. I know some may say it’s against current rules but it can be done keeping to them and I just feel it’s better than doing nothing.


* Wow this has got so much attention. Please note this is on Sunday at 10am*

This week I’ve read about two (sadly 3 the day after this post) young men from
Edinburgh who have tragically taken their own lives, leaving behind them so much pain and misery for family and friends.

This whole Covid/lockdown situation is really impacting people who may already have been struggling. The constant doom and gloom in the news and social media every day must surely be taking its toll.

I’ve shared numerous posts encouraging men in particular to speak out if they are struggling and i again encourage anybody no matter age or gender to please talk to someone if things get too much. My messages are always open, I may not be an expert but I promise to listen and not judge.

In my role as a football manager, I’ve spoken to many young men with troubles and try to help and understand as best I can. Please believe me, I’ve been there myself. I struggle too and I’m probably the worlds worst for bottling things up but I’m not too proud to admit it now if it helps somebody else.

I want to do something about this because it genuinely worries me.

There’s not a lot I can do but starting this Sunday morning, I want to keep it simple and just go out for a walk , socially distanced of course, and get out the house and take some fresh air in and clear the head.

This is an open invite to anybody who may be struggling, who has struggled or simply could do with the company and exercise for an hour or two! I’ll be there on my own anyway so it would be good to have some company.

You don’t even have to know me, we don’t have to be friends. you don’t even have to speak about anything, put the earphones in and zone out as we take a stroll but please don’t be shy in just coming along if you need to. There won’t be any social media pics or anything like that.

Nobody will ask any questions or judge. Let’s just go for a wee walk to clear the head and show some support for each other.

Please share this status and encourage people to come along if you think they need it, come
Along if you need it. Bring the dog, bring the bairn in a buggy if you have to but let’s get out and spend a wee bit time clearing the head and seeing that everything isn’t bad and more importantly that you are not alone. There are people that care, you might not even know them yet!

Let’s go for this week 10am, Sunday.
Starting at Gypsy Brae, Granton and walk along to Cramond and back. Probably take about an hour.

If you’re not sure where it is or have any questions at all please private message me.

Get sharing please 💚🤝

Great initiative.💚

This looks like it should be interesting - I know one of the guys and he's really sound.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.c...w-film-3091401

Scottish musicians reveal mental health struggles for powerful new film
Leading Scottish musicians are to go public with their mental health struggles in a powerful new film being launched this week.


Pipers, fiddlers, singers and composers recall how their lives and careers have been blighted by anxiety, depression, alcoholism, anorexia and suicide attempts.


The hour-long BBC Alba film, which is broadcast at 9pm on Tuesday, features some of the best-known performers at Glasgow's Celtic Connections festival, which launches a series of online concerts on Friday.


The musicians are interviewed by Mischa Macpherson, one of Scotland’s leading Gaelic singers, who discusses her own difficulties in the documentary, which examines why so many musicians suffer problems.


The film, Ceol is Cradh, explores the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of performers, who have no idea when they will be able to play for audiences.


It unites a group of musicians for the first time since the events industry was forced to shut down.


Speaking in the documentary, Lewis-born Macpherson, a former Gaelic singer of the year in Scotland, says: “From a young age, I’ve struggled with perfectionism.


"Even when my parents or teachers were happy with what I’d done, I wasn’t. I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself and often I’d become distressed thinking that neither I, nor what I was doing, were good enough.


"To the present day this is still a massive part of my life and I know that it’s holding me back. I’ve never made an album because of the fear and anxiety that it wouldn’t be good enough.”


Perthshire piper Ross Ainslie, who performs with Dougie MacLean, Salsa Celtic and Treacherous Orchestra, recalls giving up alcohol seven years ago after drinking heavily to try to deal with depression.


He says: “When you have depressive thoughts, you can hide it with substances or whatever, but then you’ve got to deal with the aftermath. That can be quite dangerous.


"Very quickly, years can go past and you’re on a slow kind of decline. When you get to the point where you’re so low or too deep, that’s when you’re in trouble. The shame or embarrassment is too much to get yourself out of it. There are loads of periods of my life when I don’t have a clue about what happened.”


Laura Wilkie, who plays with award-winning band Kinnaris Quintet, took a year out of studying in Glasgow and sought specialist help for anorexia.


She said: “It was difficult and scary. I knew I was going to have to do things I didn’t want to do, like eating food on a regular basis, not being allowed to exercise, being monitored all the time, having to talk about my feelings in front of peers and in group therapy. It really did help.


"The whole experience did actually make me better and I feel really lucky that I was able to do that.”


Highland fiddler Chloe Bryce, a recent graduate of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow, suffered regularly from anxiety.
She said: “It’s about expecting too much from myself. During the most difficult time I’ve experienced so far, I wasn’t able to sleep at all and I was still trying to continue with uni and attend rehearsals and gigs.


"I stopped drinking for six months because I felt I couldn’t control my thought processes.”

Thanks for posting this. It looks really helpful. As someone who suffers a lot with anxiety ( particularly about expecting too much from myself and the fear of failure), there’s messages here that resonate. Also reducing / stopping alcohol as well has been essential. Will defo watch this

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Originally Posted by Peevemor

This looks like it should be interesting - I know one of the guys and he's really sound.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.c...w-film-3091401

Scottish musicians reveal mental health struggles for powerful new film
Leading Scottish musicians are to go public with their mental health struggles in a powerful new film being launched this week.


Pipers, fiddlers, singers and composers recall how their lives and careers have been blighted by anxiety, depression, alcoholism, anorexia and suicide attempts.


The hour-long BBC Alba film, which is broadcast at 9pm on Tuesday, features some of the best-known performers at Glasgow's Celtic Connections festival, which launches a series of online concerts on Friday.


The musicians are interviewed by Mischa Macpherson, one of Scotland’s leading Gaelic singers, who discusses her own difficulties in the documentary, which examines why so many musicians suffer problems.


The film, Ceol is Cradh, explores the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of performers, who have no idea when they will be able to play for audiences.


It unites a group of musicians for the first time since the events industry was forced to shut down.


Speaking in the documentary, Lewis-born Macpherson, a former Gaelic singer of the year in Scotland, says: “From a young age, I’ve struggled with perfectionism.


"Even when my parents or teachers were happy with what I’d done, I wasn’t. I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself and often I’d become distressed thinking that neither I, nor what I was doing, were good enough.


"To the present day this is still a massive part of my life and I know that it’s holding me back. I’ve never made an album because of the fear and anxiety that it wouldn’t be good enough.”


Perthshire piper Ross Ainslie, who performs with Dougie MacLean, Salsa Celtic and Treacherous Orchestra, recalls giving up alcohol seven years ago after drinking heavily to try to deal with depression.


He says: “When you have depressive thoughts, you can hide it with substances or whatever, but then you’ve got to deal with the aftermath. That can be quite dangerous.


"Very quickly, years can go past and you’re on a slow kind of decline. When you get to the point where you’re so low or too deep, that’s when you’re in trouble. The shame or embarrassment is too much to get yourself out of it. There are loads of periods of my life when I don’t have a clue about what happened.”


Laura Wilkie, who plays with award-winning band Kinnaris Quintet, took a year out of studying in Glasgow and sought specialist help for anorexia.


She said: “It was difficult and scary. I knew I was going to have to do things I didn’t want to do, like eating food on a regular basis, not being allowed to exercise, being monitored all the time, having to talk about my feelings in front of peers and in group therapy. It really did help.


"The whole experience did actually make me better and I feel really lucky that I was able to do that.”


Highland fiddler Chloe Bryce, a recent graduate of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow, suffered regularly from anxiety.
She said: “It’s about expecting too much from myself. During the most difficult time I’ve experienced so far, I wasn’t able to sleep at all and I was still trying to continue with uni and attend rehearsals and gigs.


"I stopped drinking for six months because I felt I couldn’t control my thought processes.”

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Bump

I know it’s a small thing when taken in context but what a lift you get when Hibs win.

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Sorry for your loss mate.
RIP WPJ

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Aw, Scorrie, I'm so sorry to read that - I never met him but engaged with him a lot on here and always enjoyed reading his posts and insights. We PM'd a few times last year and I was glad to see he seemed to be in a bit of a better place there for a while.

Deepest condolences to you and your family, and he'll be sorely missed on here.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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heartbroken for you mate, my condolences to you and your family

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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That's terrible news. For what it's worth I enjoyed his posts on here.

RIP WPJ with thoughts for his family & friends.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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I am just shocked and saddened at your news Scorrie and my heart aches to hear it.

I am so very sorry for your loss, please accept my sincere condolences. If you ever need a chat or a wee bit of support you know where I am. God bless your brother and your family.

So sorry to hear about WPJ.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Truly saddened to read this, so sorry for your loss.

RIP WPJ.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Really enjoyed wpj’s posts and views over many years....

He obviously was fighting a really challenging health battle in recent times . Hope he is at peace now...#respect #RIP


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Really sorry to read this, sincere condolences to you and your family.

RIP WPJ

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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That’s hard news. So sorry to hear it.

Very sad to hear, RIP WPJ

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Sorry to hear that mate. Keep your chin up, these are tough times.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Sorry for your loss mate.

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes. Very much appreciated by me and the family

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Sorry for your tragic loss. Your brother was an excellent contributor to this site. RIP WPJ.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Sorry for your loss Scorrie.
Folk on here do care about each other and your brothers passing is sobering and sad news.
RIP WPJ, your health issues are now behind you.

Scorrie, I can only echo the posts above - deepest condolences to you and your family.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

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Only just caught up with this thread after quite a while and would like to add my condolences. I remember his posts well and didn't know he had passed. I hope you and the family are doing well.

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Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

Only just caught up with this thread after quite a while and would like to add my condolences. I remember his posts well and didn't know he had passed. I hope you and the family are doing well.

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Me as well. Really sorry to hear that, and I echo the sentiments of other posters. RIP. I feel quite selfish that I have only been looking at this thread when in need of support. Fwiw that will change.

See Tam McManus has tweeted to reach out to a Well fan that sounds like he’s in a tough spot. Lots of people contacting him hope it turns out Ok but the words looked quite final even left his phone passcode :/ it’s tough but there’s always someone that will be there to listen even in surprising places...

Update: happily Tam retweeted news that the Police had managed to locate and were supporting the young fella. Hopefully a good long term outcome for him.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CMurdoch

Sad stuff. I like his banter with Ty in that clip.

Good advice from yourself HA.
Don't suffer in silence folks.

---

Thankfully, big Robbie on AFTV has said the rumours were wrong and Claude died of a massive heart attack. The fact it was natural causes that took him is at least a small comfort.

It’s been a bit weird recently. Proper felt it last week and the worst thing is when you have no idea what causes it you can’t do anything about it. Proper struggled to see the point in anything. Feeling better yesterday and today but really mindful of r fact it crept up on me without warning.

Stick in there folks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

Thankfully, big Robbie on AFTV has said the rumours were wrong and Claude died of a massive heart attack. The fact it was natural causes that took him is at least a small comfort.

---

It will at least stop his friends from soul searching about what they might have done.

A couple of months ago a kid I didn't know took his own life in a park close to my house. A steady stream of adults and young people passed my house for weeks to lay floral tributes and stand in quiet contemplation.
It made a big impression on me and I think about the kid and his parents a lot. It brings me to tears that something so terrible happened so close to me and I was oblivious to it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CMurdoch

It will at least stop his friends from soul searching about what they might have done.

A couple of months ago a kid I didn't know took his own life in a park close to my house. A steady stream of adults and young people passed my house for weeks to lay floral tributes and stand in quiet contemplation.
It made a big impression on me and I think about the kid and his parents a lot. It brings me to tears that something so terrible happened so close to me and I was oblivious to it.

---

All life lost in this way is sad but when it's a young life like that, particularly so. There seems so much living left to do doesn't there.

I think being close and 'connected' to it as you were CM by the proximity of it brings home how many other lives it affects That figure is more than we imagine. Research on it is comparitively sparse (and not always considered helpful) but in the 1970s it was thought that a figure of six people on average were affected in some way by a completed suicide.

Come up to date and that figure has been uprated to 135 people approximately, affected in some way by every loss of life to suicide.

The true expenditures of suicide are of course human and also intangible costs. Even in non-emotional financial terms though, the average cost to a country's economy are staggering. A US study a few years ago maintained that the average suicide costs $1.33m.

We must all stay vigilant - especially in these times of great hardship, illness and bereavement for so many. Keep loving and caring. I feel happy that those struggling have been able to show their courage in coming forward to ask for support on this wonderful thread. It's existence is truly is the best thing that ever happened on Hibs.net.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

All life lost in this way is sad but when it's a young life like that, particularly so. There seems so much living left to do doesn't there.

I think being close and 'connected' to it as you were CM by the proximity of it brings home how many other lives it affects That figure is more than we imagine. Research on it is comparitively sparse (and not always considered helpful) but in the 1970s it was thought that a figure of six people on average were affected in some way by a completed suicide.

Come up to date and that figure has been uprated to 135 people approximately, affected in some way by every loss of life to suicide.

The true expenditures of suicide are of course human and also intangible costs. Even in non-emotional financial terms though, the average cost to a country's economy are staggering. A US study a few years ago maintained that the average suicide costs $1.33m.

We must all stay vigilant - especially in these times of great hardship, illness and bereavement for so many. Keep loving and caring. I feel happy that those struggling have been able to show their courage in coming forward to ask for support on this wonderful thread and ask. It's existence is truly is the best thing that ever happened on Hibs.net.

---

As you say Stu, we need to always be open and vigilant.
You do great work on this thread which is a real credit to the site.
Sadly suicide is something that can't be put right so we all need to raise our awareness and sensitivity to the mental health of those around us.

On a happier note, I clicked on your blog and saw your tribute to Gregory Isaac. I have had a copy of his "Night Nurse" album for more than 35 years. A keeper!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CMurdoch

As you say Stu, we need to always be open and vigilant.
You do great work on this thread which is a real credit to the site.
Sadly suicide is something that can't be put right so we all need to raise our awareness and sensitivity to the mental health of those around us.

On a happier note, I clicked on your blog and saw your tribute to Gregory Isaac. I have had a copy of his "Night Nurse" album for more than 35 years. A keeper!

---

Thanks for the view and the kind words CM. I find it really pleasing that there are so many on here who show kindness and offer support to those having a struggle, yourself included. It has managed to draw numerous people out to seek support.

Ah, Gregory Isaacs, what a great album Night Nurse is! I read recently that 'Extra Classic' is one Keith Richard's ten top tunes of all time and I understand why. As soon as I hear those opening notes and lines it brings a smile to my face and makes the world feel right. So mellow. The NHS should prescribe it daily!

Nikki Grahame's death will hit some hard, particularly those who struggle with eating disorders.

For those who do, and for those who have loved ones in that situation:-

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-...eful-contacts/

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org....rting-somebody

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

---

Not been on this thread for a while and just reading your sad news now. I do remember a couple of messages with your brother, may he rest in peace.

I get a lot of messages through Longbangers from people on the subject of mental health, and we thought it would be good to organise something to get folk together to talk of if they’re feeling low or struggling. We’re going to put on a Zoom call (not recorded or published) as a wee drop-in.

If you’d like to be a part of that - no judgement/no expectations, you can listen in or join in - PM me or DM @longbangers, and we’ll arrange it.

This has been touched on before.

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-56745139

As it says, a small-scale study. But encouraging nonetheless.

Plants 1 Big Pharma 0 😉

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty_f

I get a lot of messages through Longbangers from people on the subject of mental health, and we thought it would be good to organise something to get folk together to talk of if they’re feeling low or struggling. We’re going to put on a Zoom call (not recorded or published) as a wee drop-in.

If you’d like to be a part of that - no judgement/no expectations, you can listen in or join in - PM me or DM @longbangers, and we’ll arrange it.

---

What a fantastic idea.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Itsnoteasy

What a fantastic idea.

---

Thanks - i can’t take the credit for it, it was John (co-host on the podcast) who brought it up but i thought it was a great idea as well.

Great idea.

I was anxious about going out again after getting covid really bad. First steps taken this weekend as had a few pints with mates I have not seen in year and a half.

Went smoothly and I feel good. Even got a bit of a suntan. I guess the worry was getting covid again more than anything. Feel so glad I went out now.

Sometimes I could despair, if I was the despairing type. :wink:

I don't work for the NHS but nevertheless, have to carry out much of the standard training that they offer. I'm just currently looking at some obligatory NHS e-learning regarding suicide interventions.

They begin by talking about 'suicide survivors and those those bereaved by suicide', showing they clearly do not understand what a 'suicide survivor' is (it's actually someone bereaved by suicide - not someone who has attempted suicide without completing it, as is implied here. It's quite an important distinction.


The next slide goes on to say that the average suicide affects 20 other lives. (Incorrect, it's actually far more, 135 lives.)

That's just after a couple of minutes' viewing.

It's a very important subject and one on a lot of people's lips these days. I'm a little taken aback that the NHS can put this kind of misinformation out about simple facts. Their slogan suggests 'Let's Talk'. I don't wish to sound churlish but just maybe, it's time we moved away from these seemingly endless and somewhat empty phrases and just had a bloody good talk about stuff properly. Just like people do on here.

I don't claim to be world's top expert on suicide but if anyone is in doubt about anything to do with the subject, including how to talk with someone contemplating suicide, please feel free to give me a wee shout. (If I don't know the answer I'll find out for you.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

It's a very important subject and one on a lot of people's lips these days. I'm a little taken aback that the NHS can put this kind of misinformation out about simple facts. Their slogan suggests 'Let's Talk'. I don't wish to sound churlish but just maybe, it's time we moved away from these seemingly endless and somewhat empty phrases and just had a bloody good talk about stuff properly. Just like people do on here.

---

It's so important that people know that option is out there. I was a Samaritan for a few years when I first moved out west. My background is coaching & specifically helping people see how their experience of life is created. I had to put all of that to the back burner though. Samaritans are there to question & listen, to give someone an outlet to tell their story. To know theres someone there willing to listen without judgement or agenda. Not there to change someones mind but to talk it through so they can see their thinking or just work things out by sharing. I was constantly amazed at how many people entered the call in despair & left feeling so much more at ease. Just by having the outlet, the space to chat things through.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

It's so important that people know that option is out there. I was a Samaritan for a few years when I first moved out west. My background is coaching & specifically helping people see how their experience of life is created. I had to put all of that to the back burner though. Samaritans are there to question & listen, to give someone an outlet to tell their story. To know theres someone there willing to listen without judgement or agenda. Not there to change someones mind but to talk it through so they can see their thinking or just work things out by sharing. I was constantly amazed at how many people entered the call in despair & left feeling so much more at ease. Just by having the outlet, the space to chat things through.

---

Samaritans do such fine work, providing a wonderful service that I admire. How difficult it must have been doing that over the past year.

I encourage clients with suicide ideation to carry that number around in their wallet, purse or on their phone always.

Simply talking and unloading can achieve so much.

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chorley Hibee

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

It is the talk of things "returning to normal" is what is actually depressing me the most.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

---

I'm sorry to hear this, you have had a lot on your plate. I hope you have someone you can talk to about the way you are feeling just now. It's a cliché I hear often, but baby steps, a day at a time and don't put yourself under pressure to rush back to returning to normal until you feel the time is right for you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chorley Hibee

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

---

I hope this thread can help you along, mate. It's been a tough time for everyone to some degree; for those with mental health conditions it's been very hard. It seems so long ago that life was as normal that this now feels like the new normal. Reach out wherever you can and do the usual things: exercise, regular sleep pattern, avoid booze. Get the basics in order and talk to someone you trust. If things don't change, see your GP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chorley Hibee

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

---

Sorry, just seen your post.
Good advice from Hibernian&Alba about keeping things basic.
Look after your medical conditions.
Force yourself to get out walking each day with the pram, get regular sleep and definitely keep off the alcohol.
You have a lot on your plate, so just get yourself through each hour and don't be wait too long to reach out to your GP for help.
Stay strong and let us know how you are getting on.

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TRC

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

---

Hi TRC

Sorry to hear what you've been going through. I work in addiction and would be happy to give you a bit of support if that would help mate? You can write to me here in confidence and let me have your email address.

The first matter is the suicidal thoughts you're experiencing which need careful attention. It sounds like you've been through the ups and downs of the mental health system where you are based so excuse me giving you a little well-worn advice about consulting a GP. Monitoring that situation is the first important thing to do. When you talk to a GP try to make the distinction for yourself of whether these are general suicidal thoughts (wish I wasn't here/don't want to wake up tomorrow type feelings (which I am in no way trivialising) or if they have developed to the next stage of making actual plans to harm yourself. Consider the protective factors in your life too. I can imagine that your relationship with your son would present as one of those straight away.

Your words suggest that you have experienced problems with various addictions through the years since leaving school days. Often these many and varied addictions come from the very same place in our lives as a central source, say that of unhappiness, frustration or loneliness as examples. Addictions, whether they be substances, gambling, alcohol shopping or whatever, can be an attempt to self-medicate - to 'fix' our feelngs and tranquilise or numb the pain, discomfort or disatisfaction we are experiencing. We are attempting to modify our moods. Tolerance to the substance or activity inevitably builds, meaning that we need more and more of the substance or activity to have the same effect. These varous addictions are not about having an 'addictive personality' as people often say, the different addiction problems can be generated by the same source within us and so that is often the place to look to identify the problem. In this way we can treat not just the symptoms but importantly, the cause.

If it feels good, drop me a line and we can talk. Take care of yourself.

Stu

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TRC

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

---

You've been through hell; your story is worrying to read. It's so difficult for anyone to give advice to someone in your situation without sounding glib, and I'm not even qualified to offer such advice. I just hope you find a way through your crisis. Please look for help wherever you can and keep fighting. I'm sure there are people who deeply care about you; reach out to someone, be it a relative, friend or mental health professional. You are not alone, no matter what. This is rock bottom; things can only improve. You can also chat on this thread as much as you like, if it provides any help.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TRC

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

---

mate, I dearly hope you return to this thread and see the responses. You’ve clearly had so much to deal with, Stu has offered his support already, I’m sure many on this thread would be happy to lend an ear if that would help you, including me.

your son will always be your son, he’s a great reason to keep searching for your path to finding a better place in your life. Please focus on him, the happiness I’m sure he brings you and just as importantly, the happiness you bring him

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chorley Hibee

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

---

Hi Chorley

I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate to deal with. Great credit to you for persevering in tough circumstances.

There is no doubt that returning back to former routines and activities feels stressful for many. Those very words 'returning to normal' I believe, are causing great anxiety in many too.

Being at home has felt a grind at times, I can identify with your thoughts. There seem less highs and lows and life can become more predictable, mundane and 'samey'. Being in that 'safe' place reminds me of the way some people with depression withdraw from people and activities. It's a little like retreating into a cave where it feels safe. In reality it's one of the least safe places. The most safe place is to emerge from that cave and to engage with others and society in general. That may be need to be done in modest steps where possible.

What you say poses a couple of questions. Can you identify what actually feels depressing about returning to normal, as apart from, say, a general feeling?

In addition, what would the things be you used to have that helped you manage your depression and why would they not return?

I appreciate these things may be personal and you may not want to discuss them here. Feel free to drop me a pm if that helps, or alternatively, perhaps even just try asking yourself those questions so that you might have more clarity around these feelings.

I recall a story last summer that stuck in my mind which revolved around a guy from Glasgow who recounted a time when he went on a sabbatical retreat of some kind for a year on a mountain in India. Although almost completely isolated, he maintained that after a week or two he setled into his retreat quite comfortably. However, conversely, upon returning to Glasgow he found it extremely difficult to adapt back into the pace of life, the amount of people around him, the noise and so on (no cracks about Glasgow!) He related that a month later he was still struggling to adjust and adapt. This probably tells us that it's not a simple, straightforward task, certainly it's one we're not familar with.

All the best to you mate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TRC

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

---

How are you doing, mate? Hope you are hanging in there.

Did Pontius Pilate come back? He was going through a hell of a time.

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TRC

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

---

:top marks

Type away, mate, whenever you feel the need. You can only do your best, and, though you will have setbacks and tough days, the small steps add up. Be kind to yourself.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GreenNWhiteArmy

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

---

You haven't been given a medical diagnosis on your issue? Clearly there is a problem you need help with.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GreenNWhiteArmy

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

---

Have you been offered a referral to a Pain Clinic? They help with the phycological issues caused by chronic pain and assist with long term pain management suggestions such as hydro therapy which can be beneficial for some people.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

You haven't been given a medical diagnosis on your issue? Clearly there is a problem you need help with.

---

Had the full works with blood tests over the years for thyroid, iron deficiency etc

I'm tired of going and saying the same thing over and over again (it's been almost 10 years) to the doctors

I fit the criteria for CFS but because it can't really be tested they've never diagnosed it.

Very frustrating

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TRC

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

---

Good to hear from you and it's positive that you are trying to make the situation better. Fight through one day at a time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GreenNWhiteArmy

Had the full works with blood tests over the years for thyroid, iron deficiency etc

I'm tired of going and saying the same thing over and over again (it's been almost 10 years) to the doctors

I fit the criteria for CFS but because it can't really be tested they've never diagnosed it.

Very frustrating

---

I had a few years of similar symptoms turned out I had a large gallstone and the gallbladder was packing in.

I knew I had one but it was always dismissed as the reason as I never had the usual gallbladder pain symptoms.

An instant difference when it was eventually removed, my mood had spiralled downwards for a long time as I couldn’t get any answers about how I felt and had convinced myself I had some undiagnosed cancer.

Good luck and keep pestering medics to get some answers.

We’ve been running the mental health Zoom calls with longbangers for a few weeks now, our fourth call is this Friday. It’s open to everyone, if you feel you’d benefit from the support/companionship of a cracking group of guys, l’ll put the Zoom details up on Friday morning and you can join in complete confidence.

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sylar

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

---

Given that you are clearly taking steps to manage your mental health, I'd say you are less of a risk than someone who is undiagnosed and has suicidal tendencies. It smacks of the 80's and 90's when people who had HIV tests were reckoned to be high-risk.

I've never been declined for anything on account of my mental health. There will be other companies out there who want your money, so move on. :aok:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sylar

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

---

That's disgraceful.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty_f

We’ve been running the mental health Zoom calls with longbangers for a few weeks now, our fourth call is this Friday. It’s open to everyone, if you feel you’d benefit from the support/companionship of a cracking group of guys, l’ll put the Zoom details up on Friday morning and you can join in complete confidence.

---

Your post was a month ago so I'm just wondering how it's all going Matty? I felt it was a fine idea when you talked about it previously and was happy to see it. I hope people are engaging and enjoying the benefit of talking, unloading and sharing thoughts.

I've personally never administered lots of group therapy but recognise some of the barriers to working in groups for some people. Similar could easily apply to your talking group (which I fully understand is different to therapy). I used to be in a position of referring people for group work and similar reservations would often occur from clients. Some felt guilt or shame due to their problems and so would find it difficult to talk to others in a group about them. Others would worry about their anonymity with the potential of people taking the chat inside the group outside of it. In practise, I never found this happened though, even with one or two higher profile individuals. For me, people are very compassionate towards each other in these situations and would not wish to hurt their fellow group members in any way, considering how they would feel with roles reversed.

I'd imagine there has been quite a few people presenting with depression and anxiety symptoms, considering what we have all been going through for some time and the uncertainty created. If ever there is anything you feel you could do with a wee bit of support regarding the sessions, you know where I am, anytime.

On the subject of life insurance, here's a useful guide from Mind.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/insurance-cover-and-mental-health/challenges-to-getting-insurance-cover/

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sylar

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

---

My daughter worked in insurance and they were doing this more and more as the numbers for the condition rose.

Anxiety and mild depression covers a huge area which can lead to drug and or alcohol misuse and a higher risk of suicide, it's not ideal but you can understand their concerns, lock downs have contributed massively to a surge in cases.

They'll tend to decline if you're on medication no matter the dosage as you're seen as a higher risk of joining the above although they'll say they take each case on individual merit.

All the best bud and I hope you recover soon :aok:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Crunchie

My daughter worked in insurance and they were doing this more and more as the numbers for the condition rose.

Anxiety and mild depression covers a huge area which can lead to drug and or alcohol misuse and a higher risk of suicide, it's not ideal but you can understand their concerns, lock downs have contributed massively to a surge in cases.

They'll tend to decline if you're on medication no matter the dosage as you're seen as a higher risk of joining the above although they'll say they take each case on individual merit.

All the best bud and I hope you recover soon :aok:

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Anxiety and depression tend to work independantly of alchol and substance abuse whilst one can exacerbate the other. This can work both ways around with the latter certainly increasing anxiety and depression.

It's important to say that lockdowns during and the pandemic in general have not reportedly increased suicide numbers, resulting from increased use of medication (or anything else).

There is a distinction in age groups for the prevalance of correlation between prescribed modern anti-depressants and suicide ideation and completed suicides. Not that , dare I say, the average insurance company would care to make it. From the quite sparse research it's seen that there is actually a general reduction in suicide rates in older groups in correlation with prescribed anti-depressants. Conversely, from the few randomised trials carried out, there appears some indication that the reverse can be the case with younger people. It remains though a highly contentious and controversial subject as to the general correlation between increased use of anti-depressants and suicide.

Yes, the insurance companies can descrimate in whatever way they choose it seems. It doesn't mean that science backs their reasons though.

Just for info, Crunchie and thanks for your interesting comments. It's a big big subject and I personally wouldn't want to see people who would benefit from prescribed drugs avoiding them. I'm not pro or anti-medication, just that people make an informed choice about it.

Not a recent study but informative nonetheless.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034101/

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

Anxiety and depression tend to work independantly of alchol and substance abuse whilst one can exacerbate the other. This can work both ways around with the latter certainly increasing anxiety and depression.

It's important to say that lockdowns during and the pandemic in general have not reportedly increased suicide numbers, resulting from increased use of medication (or anything else).

There is a distinction in age groups for the prevalance of correlation between prescribed modern anti-depressants and suicide ideation and completed suicides. Not that , dare I say, the average insurance company would care to make it. From the quite sparse research it's seen that there is actually a general reduction in suicide rates in older groups in correlation with prescribed anti-depressants. Conversely, from the few randomised trials carried out, there appears some indication that the reverse can be the case with younger people. It remains though a highly contentious and controversial subject as to the general correlation between increased use of anti-depressants and suicide.

Yes, the insurance companies can descrimate in whatever way they choose it seems. It doesn't mean that science backs their reasons though.

Just for info, Crunchie and thanks for your interesting comments. It's a big big subject and I personally wouldn't want to see people who would benefit from prescribed drugs avoiding them. I'm not pro or anti-medication, just that people make an informed choice about it.

Not a recent study but informative nonetheless.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034101/

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A couple of interesting links on insurance cover here.

https://moneytothemasses.com/quick-s...mental-illness


https://www.theguardian.com/society/...nsurance-cover

No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?

---

you've given some wonderful advice on here Stu, I’m sure I speak for others when I say that if we can do anything to help you, please reach out. You’ve been a source of calm, reasoned, non judgemental and positive support for many, I’m sure we’d all be keen to do the same for you if we can :aok:


as for me, been a funny few months. We had to get our dog put to sleep a few weeks ago, which was utterly heartbreaking, although the best decision for her given her health. Also been a rough few months with my daughter, a new game 4-5 times a week of waking up anytime between 11:30 and 4:30, and refusing to go back to sleep, so been a few zombie-like days.

On the positive side, I’ve just finished my 13th week in my new job, and really enjoying it. Firstly it’s been great having something tangible to get my teeth into that isn’t trawling job websites. It’s also been really good to feel like I’m able to bring something of value to others, and feel valued myself. My boss is great to work for, I feel like I’m making a difference in a company with positive and aspirational values and ethos, and the work is varied (if coming in thick and fast 😆). The bypass/traffic is a bit of a pain at times, but I’m taking the positives of getting a bit of alone time in the car to listen to an audiobook or podcast, and having some decent switch on/off time from work (previous commute was only a few minutes so didn’t really get that).

all in all feeling a good bit better in myself most of the time, still have a few wee dark moments, but trying to see the positives rather than dwelling if I can

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?

---

I went through an incredibly low period in February through to May whilst going through redundancy at work. Stopped my my running and all socialising and went back on to medication. Thankfully things have worked out fine now and I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. Back to running and at the gym every day and it’s made a massive difference to my mental health.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by McD

you've given some wonderful advice on here Stu, I’m sure I speak for others when I say that if we can do anything to help you, please reach out. You’ve been a source of calm, reasoned, non judgemental and positive support for many, I’m sure we’d all be keen to do the same for you if we can :aok:


as for me, been a funny few months. We had to get our dog put to sleep a few weeks ago, which was utterly heartbreaking, although the best decision for her given her health. Also been a rough few months with my daughter, a new game 4-5 times a week of waking up anytime between 11:30 and 4:30, and refusing to go back to sleep, so been a few zombie-like days.

On the positive side, I’ve just finished my 13th week in my new job, and really enjoying it. Firstly it’s been great having something tangible to get my teeth into that isn’t trawling job websites. It’s also been really good to feel like I’m able to bring something of value to others, and feel valued myself. My boss is great to work for, I feel like I’m making a difference in a company with positive and aspirational values and ethos, and the work is varied (if coming in thick and fast ��). The bypass/traffic is a bit of a pain at times, but I’m taking the positives of getting a bit of alone time in the car to listen to an audiobook or podcast, and having some decent switch on/off time from work (previous commute was only a few minutes so didn’t really get that).

all in all feeling a good bit better in myself most of the time, still have a few wee dark moments, but trying to see the positives rather than dwelling if I can

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Really kind, thanks for that mate.

Sounds like you've had your ups and downs in the past while. Applying for jobs can become really demoralising. Thankfully, I haven't had to do that as I was transferred along with my caseload. There were still some dodgy and insecure moments though.

It's great to hear that you've got set up and that it's going well. The qualities of the job you mention resonate with me. I had a great manager who championed me and fully supported and listened to me. I very much believed in the integrity of the charity too and it's not necessarily always we can say that of our employers.

On the bright side, the welcome at the new charity has been a warm one. It's a national organisation too and they have an office in Edinburgh (and several around Glasgow and Lanarkshire( so who knows in the future!

Really like and agree with the way you've chosen to spend that extra time on the commute, excellent. In normal times I have a shortish commute of five miles and I always thought of it as 'switch off time' when locking that office door. It really helped to leave the stories and events of the day behind, taking the stroll through the city and a bus home. In more recent times the 'commute' has been from the dining room to the living room!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lendo

I went through an incredibly low period in February through to May whilst going through redundancy at work. Stopped my my running and all socialising and went back on to medication. Thankfully things have worked out fine now and I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. Back to running and at the gym every day and it’s made a massive difference to my mental health.

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I think that was quite a low time for many people wasn't it. Still many restrictions and places closed, the midwinter and easing of restrictions in April a fair way off with lots of uncertainty still. Top that off with the major life event of redundancy and I certainly get you.

Agree with you about the benefits of exercise. Running thousand of miles over the years I can honestly say I never didn't come home from a run without an improved mood. The meditative aspect and inducing that 'flow state'* through running was never lost on me.

Flow is well worth reading about and is a great aid towards good mental health:

https://positivepsychology.com/mihal...ather-of-flow/

Interesting piece in the Guardian about the use of psychedelics to treat depression.

Backs up what a professional in the research field told me recently, that he expects the licensing of psychedelics as a treatment option within a couple of years.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/26/psychedelics-renaissance-new-wave-of-research-puts-hallucinogenics-forward-to-treat-mental-health

Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pacoluna

Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

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Just read the article. I can see how you feel about gambling.

I like a gamble myself, but I always maintain gambling is worse than drink & drugs. I believe you could lose everything in a day if you gamble.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Itsnoteasy

Just read the article. I can see how you feel about gambling.

I like a gamble myself, but I always maintain gambling is worse than drink & drugs. I believe you could lose everything in a day if you gamble.

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Vulnerable people particularly those with mental health conditions are exposed.
The industry is regulated by a not fit for purpose gambling commison, no ombudsman and inadequate safeguards.
When you actually look into it it's horrifying.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pacoluna

Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

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That is an absolutely appalling story, I am so sorry for what has has happened to your son and the effect it must have had on you and your family. I hope you can continue to fight against that injustice. I echo the sentiments above regarding the Gambling Commission. I’m also unhappy with the way counselling and treatment provision for gambling addiction is, as I see it, regressing. Especially as the need for effective treatment becomes more and more needed.

As for Hibs and the Marsbet deal, I’m beyond disappointed with the club. Mealy-mouthed words about ‘responsible gambling’ mean absolutely nothing. I do believe that eventually football advertising will become generally more ethical. It seems that’s a little way off at the moment still though, sadly.

‘A Hibernian spokesperson said: “The club remains committed to supporting fans to gamble responsibly, as we are to supporting responsible enjoyment of alcohol, and Hibernian Community Foundation will continue to deliver both alcohol and gambling awareness programmes.-“‘

I have just started reading Paul Merson’s autobiography. A scary and brutal read about the damage gambling addiction can cause

Following on from a previous discussion, this is an interesting development:-

https://news.sky.com/story/womans-se...brain-12426062

[QUOTE=stu in nottingham;6709198]That is an absolutely appalling story, I am so sorry for what has has happened to your son and the effect it must have had on you and your family. I hope you can continue to fight against that injustice. I echo the sentiments above regarding the Gambling Commission. I’m also unhappy with the way counselling and treatment provision for gambling addiction is, as I see it, regressing. Especially as the need for effective treatment becomes more and more needed.

As for Hibs and the Marsbet deal, I’m beyond disappointed with the club. Mealy-mouthed words about ‘responsible gambling’ mean absolutely nothing. I do believe that eventually football advertising will become generally more ethical. It seems that’s a little way off at the moment still though, sadly.

‘A Hibernian spokesperson said: “The club remains committed to supporting fans to gamble responsibly, as we are to supporting responsible enjoyment of alcohol, and Hibernian Community Foundation will continue to deliver both alcohol and gambling awareness programmes.-“‘[/QUOTE


Marsbet aren't even regulated by the UK gambling commison license, the are regulated offshore.