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  1. #1681
    @hibs.net private member Sylar's Avatar
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    I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

    In what world is this not discrimination?

    Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.
    Madness, as you know, is a lot like gravity. All it takes is a little push.


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  3. #1682
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

    In what world is this not discrimination?

    Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.
    Given that you are clearly taking steps to manage your mental health, I'd say you are less of a risk than someone who is undiagnosed and has suicidal tendencies. It smacks of the 80's and 90's when people who had HIV tests were reckoned to be high-risk.

    I've never been declined for anything on account of my mental health. There will be other companies out there who want your money, so move on.

  4. #1683
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

    In what world is this not discrimination?

    Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

    That's disgraceful.

  5. #1684
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by matty_f View Post
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    We’ve been running the mental health Zoom calls with longbangers for a few weeks now, our fourth call is this Friday. It’s open to everyone, if you feel you’d benefit from the support/companionship of a cracking group of guys, l’ll put the Zoom details up on Friday morning and you can join in complete confidence.
    Your post was a month ago so I'm just wondering how it's all going Matty? I felt it was a fine idea when you talked about it previously and was happy to see it. I hope people are engaging and enjoying the benefit of talking, unloading and sharing thoughts.

    I've personally never administered lots of group therapy but recognise some of the barriers to working in groups for some people. Similar could easily apply to your talking group (which I fully understand is different to therapy). I used to be in a position of referring people for group work and similar reservations would often occur from clients. Some felt guilt or shame due to their problems and so would find it difficult to talk to others in a group about them. Others would worry about their anonymity with the potential of people taking the chat inside the group outside of it. In practise, I never found this happened though, even with one or two higher profile individuals. For me, people are very compassionate towards each other in these situations and would not wish to hurt their fellow group members in any way, considering how they would feel with roles reversed.

    I'd imagine there has been quite a few people presenting with depression and anxiety symptoms, considering what we have all been going through for some time and the uncertainty created. If ever there is anything you feel you could do with a wee bit of support regarding the sessions, you know where I am, anytime.
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  6. #1685
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    On the subject of life insurance, here's a useful guide from Mind.

    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/insurance-cover-and-mental-health/challenges-to-getting-insurance-cover/

  7. #1686
    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

    In what world is this not discrimination?

    Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.
    My daughter worked in insurance and they were doing this more and more as the numbers for the condition rose.

    Anxiety and mild depression covers a huge area which can lead to drug and or alcohol misuse and a higher risk of suicide, it's not ideal but you can understand their concerns, lock downs have contributed massively to a surge in cases.

    They'll tend to decline if you're on medication no matter the dosage as you're seen as a higher risk of joining the above although they'll say they take each case on individual merit.

    All the best bud and I hope you recover soon

  8. #1687
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crunchie View Post
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    My daughter worked in insurance and they were doing this more and more as the numbers for the condition rose.

    Anxiety and mild depression covers a huge area which can lead to drug and or alcohol misuse and a higher risk of suicide, it's not ideal but you can understand their concerns, lock downs have contributed massively to a surge in cases.

    They'll tend to decline if you're on medication no matter the dosage as you're seen as a higher risk of joining the above although they'll say they take each case on individual merit.

    All the best bud and I hope you recover soon
    Anxiety and depression tend to work independantly of alchol and substance abuse whilst one can exacerbate the other. This can work both ways around with the latter certainly increasing anxiety and depression.

    It's important to say that lockdowns during and the pandemic in general have not reportedly increased suicide numbers, resulting from increased use of medication (or anything else).

    There is a distinction in age groups for the prevalance of correlation between prescribed modern anti-depressants and suicide ideation and completed suicides. Not that , dare I say, the average insurance company would care to make it. From the quite sparse research it's seen that there is actually a general reduction in suicide rates in older groups in correlation with prescribed anti-depressants. Conversely, from the few randomised trials carried out, there appears some indication that the reverse can be the case with younger people. It remains though a highly contentious and controversial subject as to the general correlation between increased use of anti-depressants and suicide.

    Yes, the insurance companies can descrimate in whatever way they choose it seems. It doesn't mean that science backs their reasons though.

    Just for info, Crunchie and thanks for your interesting comments. It's a big big subject and I personally wouldn't want to see people who would benefit from prescribed drugs avoiding them. I'm not pro or anti-medication, just that people make an informed choice about it.

    Not a recent study but informative nonetheless.
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034101/
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  9. #1688
    Quote Originally Posted by stu in nottingham View Post
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    Anxiety and depression tend to work independantly of alchol and substance abuse whilst one can exacerbate the other. This can work both ways around with the latter certainly increasing anxiety and depression.

    It's important to say that lockdowns during and the pandemic in general have not reportedly increased suicide numbers, resulting from increased use of medication (or anything else).

    There is a distinction in age groups for the prevalance of correlation between prescribed modern anti-depressants and suicide ideation and completed suicides. Not that , dare I say, the average insurance company would care to make it. From the quite sparse research it's seen that there is actually a general reduction in suicide rates in older groups in correlation with prescribed anti-depressants. Conversely, from the few randomised trials carried out, there appears some indication that the reverse can be the case with younger people. It remains though a highly contentious and controversial subject as to the general correlation between increased use of anti-depressants and suicide.

    Yes, the insurance companies can descrimate in whatever way they choose it seems. It doesn't mean that science backs their reasons though.

    Just for info, Crunchie and thanks for your interesting comments. It's a big big subject and I personally wouldn't want to see people who would benefit from prescribed drugs avoiding them. I'm not pro or anti-medication, just that people make an informed choice about it.

    Not a recent study but informative nonetheless.
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034101/
    A couple of interesting links on insurance cover here.

    https://moneytothemasses.com/quick-s...mental-illness


    https://www.theguardian.com/society/...nsurance-cover

  10. #1689
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

    Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

    Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?
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  11. #1690
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stu in nottingham View Post
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    No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

    Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

    Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?

    you've given some wonderful advice on here Stu, I’m sure I speak for others when I say that if we can do anything to help you, please reach out. You’ve been a source of calm, reasoned, non judgemental and positive support for many, I’m sure we’d all be keen to do the same for you if we can


    as for me, been a funny few months. We had to get our dog put to sleep a few weeks ago, which was utterly heartbreaking, although the best decision for her given her health. Also been a rough few months with my daughter, a new game 4-5 times a week of waking up anytime between 11:30 and 4:30, and refusing to go back to sleep, so been a few zombie-like days.

    On the positive side, I’ve just finished my 13th week in my new job, and really enjoying it. Firstly it’s been great having something tangible to get my teeth into that isn’t trawling job websites. It’s also been really good to feel like I’m able to bring something of value to others, and feel valued myself. My boss is great to work for, I feel like I’m making a difference in a company with positive and aspirational values and ethos, and the work is varied (if coming in thick and fast 😆). The bypass/traffic is a bit of a pain at times, but I’m taking the positives of getting a bit of alone time in the car to listen to an audiobook or podcast, and having some decent switch on/off time from work (previous commute was only a few minutes so didn’t really get that).

    all in all feeling a good bit better in myself most of the time, still have a few wee dark moments, but trying to see the positives rather than dwelling if I can

  12. #1691
    @hibs.net private member Lendo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stu in nottingham View Post
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    No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

    Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

    Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?
    I went through an incredibly low period in February through to May whilst going through redundancy at work. Stopped my my running and all socialising and went back on to medication. Thankfully things have worked out fine now and I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. Back to running and at the gym every day and it’s made a massive difference to my mental health.

  13. #1692
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McD View Post
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    you've given some wonderful advice on here Stu, I’m sure I speak for others when I say that if we can do anything to help you, please reach out. You’ve been a source of calm, reasoned, non judgemental and positive support for many, I’m sure we’d all be keen to do the same for you if we can


    as for me, been a funny few months. We had to get our dog put to sleep a few weeks ago, which was utterly heartbreaking, although the best decision for her given her health. Also been a rough few months with my daughter, a new game 4-5 times a week of waking up anytime between 11:30 and 4:30, and refusing to go back to sleep, so been a few zombie-like days.

    On the positive side, I’ve just finished my 13th week in my new job, and really enjoying it. Firstly it’s been great having something tangible to get my teeth into that isn’t trawling job websites. It’s also been really good to feel like I’m able to bring something of value to others, and feel valued myself. My boss is great to work for, I feel like I’m making a difference in a company with positive and aspirational values and ethos, and the work is varied (if coming in thick and fast ��). The bypass/traffic is a bit of a pain at times, but I’m taking the positives of getting a bit of alone time in the car to listen to an audiobook or podcast, and having some decent switch on/off time from work (previous commute was only a few minutes so didn’t really get that).

    all in all feeling a good bit better in myself most of the time, still have a few wee dark moments, but trying to see the positives rather than dwelling if I can
    Really kind, thanks for that mate.

    Sounds like you've had your ups and downs in the past while. Applying for jobs can become really demoralising. Thankfully, I haven't had to do that as I was transferred along with my caseload. There were still some dodgy and insecure moments though.

    It's great to hear that you've got set up and that it's going well. The qualities of the job you mention resonate with me. I had a great manager who championed me and fully supported and listened to me. I very much believed in the integrity of the charity too and it's not necessarily always we can say that of our employers.

    On the bright side, the welcome at the new charity has been a warm one. It's a national organisation too and they have an office in Edinburgh (and several around Glasgow and Lanarkshire( so who knows in the future!

    Really like and agree with the way you've chosen to spend that extra time on the commute, excellent. In normal times I have a shortish commute of five miles and I always thought of it as 'switch off time' when locking that office door. It really helped to leave the stories and events of the day behind, taking the stroll through the city and a bus home. In more recent times the 'commute' has been from the dining room to the living room!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lendo View Post
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    I went through an incredibly low period in February through to May whilst going through redundancy at work. Stopped my my running and all socialising and went back on to medication. Thankfully things have worked out fine now and I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. Back to running and at the gym every day and it’s made a massive difference to my mental health.
    I think that was quite a low time for many people wasn't it. Still many restrictions and places closed, the midwinter and easing of restrictions in April a fair way off with lots of uncertainty still. Top that off with the major life event of redundancy and I certainly get you.

    Agree with you about the benefits of exercise. Running thousand of miles over the years I can honestly say I never didn't come home from a run without an improved mood. The meditative aspect and inducing that 'flow state'* through running was never lost on me.

    Flow is well worth reading about and is a great aid towards good mental health:

    https://positivepsychology.com/mihal...ather-of-flow/
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  14. #1693
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Interesting piece in the Guardian about the use of psychedelics to treat depression.

    Backs up what a professional in the research field told me recently, that he expects the licensing of psychedelics as a treatment option within a couple of years.

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/26/psychedelics-renaissance-new-wave-of-research-puts-hallucinogenics-forward-to-treat-mental-health

  15. #1694
    Testimonial Due pacoluna's Avatar
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    Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

    Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

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    Quote Originally Posted by pacoluna View Post
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    Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

    Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp
    Just read the article. I can see how you feel about gambling.

    I like a gamble myself, but I always maintain gambling is worse than drink & drugs. I believe you could lose everything in a day if you gamble.

  17. #1696
    Testimonial Due pacoluna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Itsnoteasy View Post
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    Just read the article. I can see how you feel about gambling.

    I like a gamble myself, but I always maintain gambling is worse than drink & drugs. I believe you could lose everything in a day if you gamble.
    Vulnerable people particularly those with mental health conditions are exposed.
    The industry is regulated by a not fit for purpose gambling commison, no ombudsman and inadequate safeguards.
    When you actually look into it it's horrifying.

  18. #1697
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pacoluna View Post
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    Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

    Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp
    That is an absolutely appalling story, I am so sorry for what has has happened to your son and the effect it must have had on you and your family. I hope you can continue to fight against that injustice. I echo the sentiments above regarding the Gambling Commission. I’m also unhappy with the way counselling and treatment provision for gambling addiction is, as I see it, regressing. Especially as the need for effective treatment becomes more and more needed.

    As for Hibs and the Marsbet deal, I’m beyond disappointed with the club. Mealy-mouthed words about ‘responsible gambling’ mean absolutely nothing. I do believe that eventually football advertising will become generally more ethical. It seems that’s a little way off at the moment still though, sadly.

    ‘A Hibernian spokesperson said: “The club remains committed to supporting fans to gamble responsibly, as we are to supporting responsible enjoyment of alcohol, and Hibernian Community Foundation will continue to deliver both alcohol and gambling awareness programmes.-“‘
    Last edited by stu in nottingham; 30-09-2021 at 12:29 AM.

  19. #1698
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    I have just started reading Paul Merson’s autobiography. A scary and brutal read about the damage gambling addiction can cause

  20. #1699
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Following on from a previous discussion, this is an interesting development:-

    https://news.sky.com/story/womans-se...brain-12426062

  21. #1700
    Testimonial Due pacoluna's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=stu in nottingham;6709198]That is an absolutely appalling story, I am so sorry for what has has happened to your son and the effect it must have had on you and your family. I hope you can continue to fight against that injustice. I echo the sentiments above regarding the Gambling Commission. I’m also unhappy with the way counselling and treatment provision for gambling addiction is, as I see it, regressing. Especially as the need for effective treatment becomes more and more needed.

    As for Hibs and the Marsbet deal, I’m beyond disappointed with the club. Mealy-mouthed words about ‘responsible gambling’ mean absolutely nothing. I do believe that eventually football advertising will become generally more ethical. It seems that’s a little way off at the moment still though, sadly.

    ‘A Hibernian spokesperson said: “The club remains committed to supporting fans to gamble responsibly, as we are to supporting responsible enjoyment of alcohol, and Hibernian Community Foundation will continue to deliver both alcohol and gambling awareness programmes.-“‘[/QUOTE


    Marsbet aren't even regulated by the UK gambling commison license, the are regulated offshore.

  22. #1701
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pacoluna View Post
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    Marsbet aren't even regulated by the UK gambling commison license, the are regulated offshore.

    That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


    FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

    We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

    I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

    All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



    I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

  23. #1702
    @hibs.net private member One Day Soon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


    FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

    We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

    I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

    All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



    I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

    I think it is genuinely impossible to communicate to others who have not lived it the completely crushing and rotting effect of alcoholism and gambling addiction - worse still, both - on a family. On every level it is horrendous. I cannot say what's worse, an episode taking place or the dread and fear from the anticipation of the next episode taking place.

    The majority of people can drink or gamble in a controlled way I would imagine. But a very sizeable and significant minority cannot. I think that the relationship between football and the betting companies in particular has become so direct now that we are storing up a time-bomb on this front - both for the funding of football when betting connections are inevitably and rightly reduced or removed and for generations of people experiencing betting as a normalised daily activity, many of who are going to become addicted and damaged.

    In some ways for me the most depressing thing about this is the lack of anything even remotely approaching serious regulation of the betting industry. They seem to get a free pass which I think is contemptible.

  24. #1703
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Day Soon View Post
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    I think it is genuinely impossible to communicate to others who have not lived it the completely crushing and rotting effect of alcoholism and gambling addiction - worse still, both - on a family. On every level it is horrendous. I cannot say what's worse, an episode taking place or the dread and fear from the anticipation of the next episode taking place.

    The majority of people can drink or gamble in a controlled way I would imagine. But a very sizeable and significant minority cannot. I think that the relationship between football and the betting companies in particular has become so direct now that we are storing up a time-bomb on this front - both for the funding of football when betting connections are inevitably and rightly reduced or removed and for generations of people experiencing betting as a normalised daily activity, many of who are going to become addicted and damaged.

    In some ways for me the most depressing thing about this is the lack of anything even remotely approaching serious regulation of the betting industry. They seem to get a free pass which I think is contemptible.


    Sounds like you've suffered too, mate, and you totally nailed how I feel about it.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


  25. #1704
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Sad to hear the accounts of people's experiences in their families, for what it's worth you have my sympathy. Working in a gambling addiction service in mental health it's part of pretty much every day talking to 'affected others' who are suffering from the fallout of another's addiction, most often a partner but many times parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and so on. Sometimes these cases are characterised by domestic abuse in its various forms, emotional, financal and so on.

    Some of the cases are truly desperate and one feels for for the people involved. The consequences of the addiction can be varied but most commonly there are resultant relationship and mental health problems, debts that see people homeless, financially ruined or families in tatters and sometimes children suffering which needs careful screening.

    In recent times in particular I've experienced several clients appearing in Crown Court guilty of fraud etc, they were all due for sentencing before seeking help. Three of them got custodial sentences of significant length and one, very, very luckily got off with a suspended sentence. All of them were identified all over their local media which caused great problems for their families in being marginalised and children being bullied at school. I would urge people to contact the relevant support services.

    People are sometimes unaware that services which offer counselling and support to gamblers also offer the same to affected others.

    GamCare are the main national providers of these services: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/

    Further peer support for affected others can be sought from GamAnon: https://gamanon.org.uk/
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  26. #1705
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Stu, you're a star.





    I'm a grown man now (quite an old one at that) and the stuff that affected me so badly in my childhood is (mostly) long gone, but there are probably thousands of people going through similar experiences every day.



    As an aside: When I hear of people doing something so worthwhile, it makes me realise how trivial my own job is. All power to their elbow

  27. #1706
    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


    FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

    We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

    I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

    All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



    I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.
    Thanks for that Keith. I can't get close to appreciating the misery of that situation other than for a fleeting moment and similarly I don't think people realise or think enough about how badly it affects the children who have to grow up through it.
    Things improved when women working became the norm and mens wages were paid into the bank instead of being given to them in a brown envelope every week. Unfortunately the online era has burnt all those bridges on the gambling front and we are back beyond square one.

  28. #1707
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMurdoch View Post
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    Thanks for that Keith. I can't get close to appreciating the misery of that situation other than for a fleeting moment and similarly I don't think people realise or think enough about how badly it affects the children who have to grow up through it.
    Things improved when women working became the norm and mens wages were paid into the bank instead of being given to them in a brown envelope every week. Unfortunately the online era has burnt all those bridges on the gambling front and we are back beyond square one.

    Cheers Colin.


    I did think about adding the fact that my first holiday at 14 was to a caravan owned by my Gran's next door neighbour (so we didn't have to pay for it), it was in Fife (almost in sight of my house) and that there wasn't enough room in the caravan for me and my brother and we had to sleep in the van but.... even though it was true.... it was starting to sound the like The Four Yorkshiremen sketch by that point

  29. #1708
    @hibs.net private member & Biggest, Funniest Slaver on hibs.net 2012 Pedantic_Hibee's Avatar
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    Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

    After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

    I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

    It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

    I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

  30. #1709
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee View Post
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    Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

    After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

    I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

    It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

    I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.


  31. #1710
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

    After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

    I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

    It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

    I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

    mate, genuinely happy reading this, and it’s one of the most positive things I’ve heard/read in a while, well done

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