Depression and anxiety

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Originally Posted by wpj

Also some free courses here

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/?gclid=CjwKCAjwvOHzBRBoEiwA48i6Alay0TF3LQJsd0aeFPK qect0F15yZZ1s33f04k0V6U43FoCWVEk-wxoC5HgQAvD_BwE

Hope the link works

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Doesn’t work bud

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Originally Posted by Hiberniankb

Doesn’t work bud

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https://www.open.edu/openlearn/

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/

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Thanks Stu

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Originally Posted by Sir David Gray

Not having any timescale for how long this is all going to last is the hardest part. If it was definitely 12 weeks then I could try to mentally prepare for that but it's really just a guess as no-one knows and it could be much longer than that.

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Maybe try to modify this way of thinking mate, looking too far ahead with any problem only causes anxiety, hence the old saying of 'one day at a time'.

Further to that, living in the present and learning how to increasingly do that is helpful. Looking back too often can be a contributor to depression, whilst living in the future too much, anxiety can lay there.

Living in the present isn't always easy, that's understood but with practice one can get better at it and i promise it's a better place to 'be'. I often have clients recovering from addictions who are doing well but say things like, i'm okay now Stu, but what's it going to be like in six months' time? My response is to ask them why they trouble themselves so with what 'might' happen then? To look after today, this very day is the way. When you wake up with God's (or whatever you believe in's) good grace, do the very same thing.

Sending love to all my pals in Scotland and others who read.

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

Maybe try to modify this way of thinking mate, looking too far ahead with any problem only causes anxiety, hence the old saying of 'one day at a time'.

Further to that, living in the present and learning how to increasingly do that is helpful. Looking back too often can be a contributor to depression, whilst living in the future too much, anxiety can lay there.

Living in the present isn't always easy, that's understood but with practice one can get better at it and i promise it's a better place to 'be'. I often have clients recovering from addictions who are doing well but say things like, i'm okay now Stu, but what's it going to be like in six months' time? My response is to ask them why they trouble themselves so with what 'might' happen then? To look after today, this very day is the way. When you wake up with God's (or whatever you believe in's) good grace, do the very same thing.

Sending love to all my pals in Scotland and others who read.

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Well said mate, I think SDG could do himself some good from taking a wee break from posting daily updates on the number of new cases/deaths each day. Try and focus on something a tad more uplifting.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

Well said mate, I think SDG could do himself some good from taking a wee break from posting daily updates on the number of new cases/deaths each day. Try and focus on something a tad more uplifting.

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I am trying. Where's the Hearts administration thread? :greengrin

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Originally Posted by Sir David Gray

I am trying. Where's the Hearts administration thread? :greengrin

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There you go! 👏

I’ve suffered mentally in the past but, strangely, I’m not finding the current situation too difficult to deal with despite my job being under threat and so on.

I put my relatively clear mind down to exercise. Obviously, following the rules, I’ll only be able to get out running or whatever once a day. Luckily, I’ve got a bit space in the back garden that I can use to do some stuff as well.

I’m looking at the next few weeks as an opportunity to really build a bit of fitness. Generally, I do quite well during the week and then undo my good work at the weekend. Not going to have that issue for a considerable time now so that’s going to be the thing that gives me a positive focus.

My anxiety issues have started to spike a bit now. I’m asthmatic so am a bit concerned about the virus but my usual coping strategy - exercise- has largely been cut off and this lockdown isn’t helping. Also having a bit more alcohol than I usually have as stuck in the house and the temptation is there. Will need to make a real effort to try new or adapted coping strategies now

This is one for all the therapists and counsellors out there.

The NHS are currently setting up a network to help staff with their mental health issues. It's only just started (I registered yesterday), and already they have over 2,000 volunteers.

PM me if you want to know the process.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

My anxiety issues have started to spike a bit now. I’m asthmatic so am a bit concerned about the virus but my usual coping strategy - exercise- has largely been cut off and this lockdown isn’t helping. Also having a bit more alcohol than I usually have as stuck in the house and the temptation is there. Will need to make a real effort to try new or adapted coping strategies now

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Hey Scorrie, yeah its an odd and unsettling time and everyone I know, including myself, who have asthma or a respitory condition are having a bit of a wee panic about it, which is only natural I think.

What exercises can you do from home? Can you still get out on a bike, go for a run, go for a walk. Try not to focus on the things you now cant do and try look at new things you can do and try, its a chance to broaden horizons in some ways and to find new ways to put joy into your life and find some calm. It's bloody hard though!

There are plenty of online classes for things like Yoga or Pilates, great for mindfulness and for core strength and stretching, why not seek one or two out? And gyms and trainers are running fitness classes online. Plenty of ways to have fun and look silly in your lycra in front of the TV.

Would also think about putting that booze out of site, keep the beer out the fridge, nobody wants warm beer, well apart from the English :)

And don't be afraid to reach out to people if you are feeling down or blue or need to vent or just need some human contact. The best thing to come out of this will be that we get to know people better and will start to re-claim our friendships and sense of community. :agree:

Oh and Hearts are still going belly up :greengrin:thumbsup:

On the note of exercise, Edinburgh Leisure members have access to videos of Les Mills classes.

I'm not sure if I can share it, but if anyone is interested, I'll have a look and see what can be done.

Some interesting posts.

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Originally Posted by B.H.F.C

I’ve suffered mentally in the past but, strangely, I’m not finding the current situation too difficult to deal with despite my job being under threat and so on.

I put my relatively clear mind down to exercise. Obviously, following the rules, I’ll only be able to get out running or whatever once a day. Luckily, I’ve got a bit space in the back garden that I can use to do some stuff as well.

I’m looking at the next few weeks as an opportunity to really build a bit of fitness. Generally, I do quite well during the week and then undo my good work at the weekend. Not going to have that issue for a considerable time now so that’s going to be the thing that gives me a positive focus.

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Find this really interesting as the general premise regarding opportunity of it echoes mine. For some of the worst reasons we have a situation, an opportunity to make welcome and healthy changes to our lives, both physically and mentally. It's a time when many can take the time to stop, think about their lives and the world and reconsider formerly-held beliefs.

Regarding exercise, my next plan is to get back into this which I really recommend to people who are staying home. It was designed to do in a small space for a few minutes a day and has a plan which can be begun from very modest levels of fitness:

Royal Canadian Air Force XBX Plan
http://www.corvedale.com/5bx/xbxPlan.pdf

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

My anxiety issues have started to spike a bit now. I’m asthmatic so am a bit concerned about the virus but my usual coping strategy - exercise- has largely been cut off and this lockdown isn’t helping. Also having a bit more alcohol than I usually have as stuck in the house and the temptation is there. Will need to make a real effort to try new or adapted coping strategies now

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I have found the opposite which has come as something of a surprise to me I have to say. I keep a few beers in the fridge at any old time but as i go out quite regularly they tend to remain untouched for months. In among all the madness re shopping at the moment I considered should I buy in a bit of a stock of bottles for those long evenings to come (I live alone). In practice what has happened is that whilst staying in the home since almost a week ago I haven't had a single drink in the home and not felt the 'loss' of it. The evening comes and it just feels a bit pointless taking a drink, sitting watching TB, listening to the radio or reading. I actually miss a long cold drink more than anything and a drink of juice can cover that. I'm really not sure about buying that beer in at all now.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

This is one for all the therapists and counsellors out there.

The NHS are currently setting up a network to help staff with their mental health issues. It's only just started (I registered yesterday), and already they have over 2,000 volunteers.

PM me if you want to know the process.

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It's great to hear about this, CWG. I work for a large registered charity and we have our own similar provision. I hope fellow therapists and counsellers also feel supported out there. Something that has not come as a surprise to me is that supporting other, perhaps less experienced people and slightly people on the team I work with is of benefit to me and makes me feel increasingly resilient and strong. I reckon you will know exactly what I mean by that.

Another little protective factor for me personally is a neighbour's friendly cat that has visited me for a long time and comes and sits on my lap every evening and demands a cuddle. A great companion.

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Originally Posted by Iain G

Hey Scorrie, yeah its an odd and unsettling time and everyone I know, including myself, who have asthma or a respitory condition are having a bit of a wee panic about it, which is only natural I think.

What exercises can you do from home? Can you still get out on a bike, go for a run, go for a walk. Try not to focus on the things you now cant do and try look at new things you can do and try, its a chance to broaden horizons in some ways and to find new ways to put joy into your life and find some calm. It's bloody hard though!

There are plenty of online classes for things like Yoga or Pilates, great for mindfulness and for core strength and stretching, why not seek one or two out? And gyms and trainers are running fitness classes online. Plenty of ways to have fun and look silly in your lycra in front of the TV.

Would also think about putting that booze out of site, keep the beer out the fridge, nobody wants warm beer, well apart from the English :)

And don't be afraid to reach out to people if you are feeling down or blue or need to vent or just need some human contact. The best thing to come out of this will be that we get to know people better and will start to re-claim our friendships and sense of community. :agree:

Oh and Hearts are still going belly up :greengrin:thumbsup:

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Many thanks Iain. Am doing Pilates in the house and getting out for walk (my one exercise a day!) I’m used to tennis and football so miss them. Also doing loads of reading etc. I have coping strategies - just need to adjust them for this situation! Thanks to others who have posted above as well. All really helpful. Aye and Hearts are still in bother👍

Staying at home, going for a walk daily but as a single dad I am missing my wee girl, I was in hospital last week we weren't able to meet up, now she is in isolation for another two weeks. I am recording poems and using WhatsApp when I can. It's really tough as I would be with her having fun but can't. She is four, five in July, I am lucky her mum is brilliant and I have no concerns other than missing her so much. It's kinda lonely without her.

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many thanks Iain. Am doing Pilates in the house and getting out for walk (my one exercise a day!) I’m used to tennis and football so miss them. Also doing loads of reading etc. I have coping strategies - just need to adjust them for this situation! Thanks to others who have posted above as well. All really helpful. Aye and Hearts are still in bother👍

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Just like tae add(if I may) that Pilates is also great for lower back problems, so if you are stiff in the back or find difficulty in bending, picking up things etc..give it a bash, i swear by it, had chronic back pain due to an accident playing fitba maaannnny years ago, now, I only feel something if I go a couple of weeks without doing Pilates, try it (or yoga):agree:
You will feel a bit stiff for a few days, but its worth it in the long run. I used to take Declofenac and Ibuprofen regularly, Not been to a doctor for years and havent taken anything for years either,

stay well.:aok:

If anyone is struggling with sleep , and that often goes along with anxiety, I have a download that I give to all clients.

Give me a shout if you want me to send it to you.

I have downloaded Max Richter sleep and also Moby has some really good free downloads on his website. He really doesn't care about money and is totally happy for folk to download his music. Lovely guy.

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Originally Posted by Phil MaGlass

Just like tae add(if I may) that Pilates is also great for lower back problems, so if you are stiff in the back or find difficulty in bending, picking up things etc..give it a bash, i swear by it, had chronic back pain due to an accident playing fitba maaannnny years ago, now, I only feel something if I go a couple of weeks without doing Pilates, try it (or yoga):agree:
You will feel a bit stiff for a few days, but its worth it in the long run. I used to take Declofenac and Ibuprofen regularly, Not been to a doctor for years and havent taken anything for years either,

stay well.:aok:

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Many thanks! Aye Pilates is brilliant. I’ve been doing it for a few years now so know most of the moves etc so can do it at home. I really think it helped extend football career as well 👍

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

If anyone is struggling with sleep , and that often goes along with anxiety, I have a download that I give to all clients.

Give me a shout if you want me to send it to you.

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Audio book of "Craig Levein : Football Revolutionary" read by Ronnie Corbett?

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

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My anxiety in the past has been caused by thinking about what could happen. I’ve always found it easier to deal with something that has actually happened, or is happening, even if it’s negative. In this case, not having that ‘why me’ feeling makes a difference to the mindset I think. Everybody is being affected by this in some way.

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Originally Posted by B.H.F.C

My anxiety in the past has been caused by thinking about what could happen. I’ve always found it easier to deal with something that has actually happened, or is happening, even if it’s negative. In this case, not having that ‘why me’ feeling makes a difference to the mindset I think. Everybody is being affected by this in some way.

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Do you know I watched a guy on the news say the exact same thing. He said he’d suffered from anxiety all his life, but now that everything he’d been anxious about was happening he was remarkably calm. It’s our time buddy :greengrin

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

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I’m finding it the same. I suppose we are being forced to live in the moment more than normal.

I have been suffering from my mental health for the last few months. Spoke to someone on the phone earlier today who's arranged for me to do some CBT over the next 8 weeks. Anyone had any experience with CBT and how it helped them?.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

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You're not alone. Health anxiety crippled me for years. Even leaving the house was a challenge. When the Legionnaires outbreak happened in Edinburgh a few years back I was a wreck and eventually wore a GP down and got tested because I was such a state.

This is just too big. With anxiety the fear is often irrational, being afraid now is rational yet I'm quite calm about it. Maybe part of it is because of my own coping strategies. I'm not religiously watching the news and I'm not obsessing about new numbers as they are published. I see a few people doing that and, whilst it's good to be informed, it's something I wouldn't encourage. It's only going to be bad news for the next couple of weeks at least so it's a dangerous cycle to get into.

I have found myself getting a bit worked up late at night thinking about how long it could be before seeing people again but I'm able to get in under control quickly.

I found this quite an interesting, reassuring and informative read:

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomf...eling-is-grief

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Originally Posted by SteveHFC

I have been suffering from my mental health for the last few months. Spoke to someone on the phone earlier today who's arranged for me to do some CBT over the next 8 weeks. Anyone had any experience with CBT and how it helped them?.

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I had CBT years ago.

In short, it didn't work for me. Years later, I understand why.

I treated it as an academic exercise where, or so I thought, I would do the homework the therapist gave me and I'd be fine.... just like at school. When that didn't happen immediately, I got upset and confused, and it arguably made me worse in the short term.

Now, I hear myself saying the things that the therapist was trying to get me to understand all those years ago. So, arguably, it worked, but it took much longer than it was meant to :greengrin

DISCLAIMER. That is just my experience. I know that, for many, it really does work. I would suggest you go into it with an open mind and some self-compassion, and not to be hard on yourself if the results don't come right away.

Good luck :aok:

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

I'm not religiously watching the news and I'm not obsessing about new numbers as they are published. I see a few people doing that and, whilst it's good to be informed, it's something I wouldn't encourage. It's only going to be bad news for the next couple of weeks at least so it's a dangerous cycle to get into.

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It's becoming quite morbid, each to their own though I suppose.

Having a bit of a hard time this week, was meant to be moving house but still stuck in a house where I am finding things difficult. It’s all about just trying to survive at the moment and hope i come out the other side with my mental health and freedom intact

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Originally Posted by Hiberniankb

Having a bit of a hard time this week, was meant to be moving house but still stuck in a house where I am finding things difficult. It’s all about just trying to survive at the moment and hope i come out the other side with my mental health and freedom intact

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When we are in new and difficult situations like this, our primitive mind takes over. We find ourself reacting with one of the 3 F's.... Fight, flight or freeze. Look around you, and you'll see lots of evidence of that. I'm guessing you might be in the 3rd group.

As humans, we also have access to an intellectual mind, but that gets shouted down when the primitive brain is in full flow. Even just knowing that can be helpful, as slowly the intellectual mind starts to make some kind of sense about everything.

Your sense of survival is absolutely normal.... it's a primitive response, of course, but no less valid for that. For most of us just now, that's what we're doing.

My mantra in these situations is.... "find what works for you, and keep doing it". Pretty soon, people get round to the 4th F.... **** it :greengrin

I am a single dad, I am really struggling not seeing my wee girl. I get on well with mum so that's a bonus but as I am at risk I cant see her. It is breaking my heart, we WhatsApp, she is four and very aware of what's going on, age appropriate of course. I am self isolating and have just started to go stir crazy, I have mental health issue on top of all this. I am writing this in the garden, late O clock.
Lucky I have my neighbours cat with me. My ex has my cat but she is very cool. I really miss my girl, I am watching videos of her. This really sucks. Stay safe netters

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Originally Posted by wpj

I am a single dad, I am really struggling not seeing my wee girl. I get on well with mum so that's a bonus but as I am at risk I cant see her. It is breaking my heart, we WhatsApp, she is four and very aware of what's going on, age appropriate of course. I am self isolating and have just started to go stir crazy, I have mental health issue on top of all this. I am writing this in the garden, late O clock.
Lucky I have my neighbours cat with me. My ex has my cat but she is very cool. I really miss my girl, I am watching videos of her. This really sucks. Stay safe netters

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if you want a chat tmrw then i’m around...happy to listen..stick in dude

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Originally Posted by wpj

I am a single dad, I am really struggling not seeing my wee girl. I get on well with mum so that's a bonus but as I am at risk I cant see her. It is breaking my heart, we WhatsApp, she is four and very aware of what's going on, age appropriate of course. I am self isolating and have just started to go stir crazy, I have mental health issue on top of all this. I am writing this in the garden, late O clock.
Lucky I have my neighbours cat with me. My ex has my cat but she is very cool. I really miss my girl, I am watching videos of her. This really sucks. Stay safe netters

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Hope you're ok pal. 💚

Thanks to you all. I am not coping, I will be ok tomorrow I'm sure. This is really Shte I cant sleep and cant go to work and i work for NHS. I am so lucky to have a garden I really need it.

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Originally Posted by wpj

Thanks to you all. I am not coping, I will be ok tomorrow I'm sure. This is really Shte I cant sleep and cant go to work and i work for NHS. I am so lucky to have a garden I really need it.

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Please accept my offer of support too, buddy, anytime. So difficult I can imagine, the situation with your youngster. It is hard but when you find yourself projecting forwards too much try as much as you can to be in the moment. The present is the best place for all of us right now.

You make a point about your neighbour's cat. Funnily enough, similar for me too. I don't know who this boy belongs to - if indeed anyone at all but he's here every single day and back again in the evening, sitting on my lap or close to me. I've never really had pets but how comforting he is, living alone as I do. Can't overestimate how therapeutic him being in my home is for me. I'm guessing people's pets will never have received so much attention!

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

Please accept my offer of support too, buddy, anytime. So difficult I can imagine, the situation with your youngster. It is hard but when you find yourself projecting forwards too much try as much as you can to be in the moment. The present is the best place for all of us right now.

You make a point about your neighbour's cat. Funnily enough, similar for me too. I don't know who this boy belongs to - if indeed anyone at all but he's here every single day and back again in the evening, sitting on my lap or close to me. I've never really had pets but how comforting he is, living alone as I do. Can't overestimate how therapeutic him being in my home is for me. I'm guessing people's pets will never have received so much attention!

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Thanks Stu, I always appreciate your support.
I had two cats, brother and sister, the sister passed away which broke my heart. Cash, the brother wonderfully named is pretty much aloof but when I go "home" he runs to me like a puppy. He is named after the man in black and just like Johnny he is a handful

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

if you want a chat tmrw then i’m around...happy to listen..stick in dude

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Thanks, totally mad times, I appreciate your message just cant sleep going to make a loaf of bread, at least I have food to cook. Need to catch up on the cooking tips thread

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Originally Posted by wpj

Thanks to you all. I am not coping, I will be ok tomorrow I'm sure. This is really Shte I cant sleep and cant go to work and i work for NHS. I am so lucky to have a garden I really need it.

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I work for the nhs aswell and will message you a contact number for staff to phone for help and support

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Originally Posted by Sir David Gray

It must be awful as a parent to watch your child become so unhappy and not have any way of helping them.

The teenage years can be such a horrible time in someone's life. I hated high school and got bullied as well. It affected me a lot and to be honest I feel I'm still dealing with the effects of it today and that was from about 16 or 17 years ago.

Although I never reached the depths that your daughter got to, I often felt so alone and didn't feel like I could reach out to anyone.

It's great your daughter has managed to get the help that she needed and sounds like she's in a much stronger place already. Fingers crossed for her that it's onwards and upwards.

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Sorry, just noticed your reply SDG. The school were actually very supportive of her and cant complain about how they handled the situation. She is certainly much happier now she has left school, she is a teenager so still prone to a few moody turns, but much better, thanks.

As you say, you still have affects from your school days, so she probably will as well, it probably will never really leave her, but hopefully these will become less so as she becomes older.

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Originally Posted by AFKA5814_Hibs

Sorry, just noticed your reply SDG. The school were actually very supportive of her and cant complain about how they handled the situation. She is certainly much happier now she has left school, she is a teenager so still prone to a few moody turns, but much better, thanks.

As you say, you still have affects from your school days, so she probably will as well, it probably will never really leave her, but hopefully these will become less so as she becomes older.

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That's really good to hear. :aok:

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

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That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.

My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.

I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.

"This, too, shall pass...".

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Originally Posted by Sylar

I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.

My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.

I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.

"This, too, shall pass...".

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I know there's a temptation at this time to feel you shouldn't be bothering a doctor. However there are still services available and maybe it's worth considering calling your GP. This will be something they will be used to hearing at the moment, you aren't alone. There will be guidelines in place so they will be able to advise and point you in the right direction.

In the shorter term you may find something useful here:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/looking-after-your-mental-health-during-coronavirus-outbreak

https://www.mind.org.uk/coronavirus-we-are-here-for-you/

In practical terms is there a way you and your wife could go for separate walks? Maybe one takes your daughter and one without and take the solo walk day about? A bit respite from all being cooped up together might be helpful.

We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

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i think of this time of lockdown as a process that will change and evolve in the type of challenges it presents as we go along. Like you, i've found myself staying up very late quite a bit (not necessarily unusual for me but it's always a flag that I react to when it happens too often). my own thoughts are that we need to be smart about creating helpful new routines - even though they may seems a bit pointless if at home. That's the basic stuff, get up a reasonable time, have a shave, make oneself presentable as if ready to face the world as usual. Keep mealtimes etc. That basic framework that we have in our lives that we hang off each day. the structure you say is missing, modify and make a new one.

I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.

Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.

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Originally Posted by Sir David Gray

That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

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I sometime come across this thought process of 'how's it going to be in six months?'In more usual times I'm always tempted to reply with the question, 'and in six months, will you be asking the same question of six months hence?' These are exceptional times clearly though. Many have a tendancy to look for certainty and a guarantee of the future. How can these things be predicted in these unprecedented times? Quite simply, they cannot. i would one hundred per cent agree with your idea of living one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be and the fact that you have evolved a new routine shows how well you are adapting. Good stuff.

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

i think of this time of lockdown as a process that will change and evolve in the type of challenges it presents as we go along. Like you, i've found myself staying up very late quite a bit (not necessarily unusual for me but it's always a flag that I react to when it happens too often). my own thoughts are that we need to be smart about creating helpful new routines - even though they may seems a bit pointless if at home. That's the basic stuff, get up a reasonable time, have a shave, make oneself presentable as if ready to face the world as usual. Keep mealtimes etc. That basic framework that we have in our lives that we hang off each day. the structure you say is missing, modify and make a new one.

I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.

Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.



I sometime come across this thought process of 'how's it going to be in six months?'In more usual times I'm always tempted to reply with the question, 'and in six months, will you be asking the same question of six months hence?' These are exceptional times clearly though. Many have a tendancy to look for certainty and a guarantee of the future. How can these things be predicted in these unprecedented times? Quite simply, they cannot. i would one hundred per cent agree with your idea of living one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be and the fact that you have evolved a new routine shows how well you are adapting. Good stuff.

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An occasional theme across different mental health problems addressed by Oliver Burkeman in his Saturday column in The Guardian is the pointlessness of continually worrying about the future, and the anxiety that inevitably causes meaning you can't enjoy the life you are actually living. It would be a strange person who hasn't felt anxious to some degree about the stuff that's going on at the moment, or surrendered to a compulsion to glance into an unknown future but I suppose it is just as pointless doing so now as at any other time.

My coping strategy this weekend has been to try to focus on the absurdity of it all. There is little most of us outside of the scientific & political world can do other than to follow the advice and realise that with every day that passes we're a day closer to the other side of this, whenever that may be. This probably sounds daft, but the lyrics to the Monty Python song, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' feel quite relevant right now!

A daft wee example of what I mean by the absurdity of the situation: I was walking home from the shops yesterday, and there was a guy walking towards me (looked a bit radge). We got to within about 30 feet of each other, and I decided to swerve inwards so we would keep the requisite distance when passing; at exactly the same time, he swerved in the same direction, and then we did the same back the other way. Eventually we sorted it out, and at the point of passing we both burst out laughing as if to say,"This is ridiculous!". I'm hating this bloody lockdown, but keeping my sense of humour is going to be one way of helping me through it.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.

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The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

I think the “PR game” the govt are currently playing is extremely unhelpful. Slow release of comments about “not being ready yet to lift lockdown”.... “awaiting the scientific evidence” etc.

People would much prefer certainty. People probably mostly accept it needs to extend. So the govt should just come out and say “till end April” or whatever and it’ll be reviewed again then. Then people can plan and get on with their lives. Acceptance and certainty is key.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

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Jesus Hutchy, I’m so sorry for you and your dad. That is absolutely brutal.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? [emoji22]

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Mate that's awful. Thoughts to you and yours.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

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I’ve got no words tbh HH. All you and family can do is look after each other mate, take care and god bless.

Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.

It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.

It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)

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Remind me, you're based in Ireland permanently, yeah?

If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?

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Originally Posted by I'm_cabbaged

I’ve got no words tbh HH. All you and family can do is look after each other mate, take care and god bless.

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Thanks a lot, he has had another 2 since my last post. A guy he used to go fishing withs father in law and one of the old boys he drinks with on a Wednesday night.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Remind me, you're based in Ireland permanently, yeah?

If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?

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Yeah over here perm....Saying that I had lost all my work 4 weeks ago & now busiest Ive been for a long time..Doing some work for HSE here too.

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

Yeah over here perm....Saying that I had lost all my work 4 weeks ago & now busiest Ive been for a long time..Doing some work for HSE here too.

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Good stuff :aok:

Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.

A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.

Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.

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Originally Posted by HH81

Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.

A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.

Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.

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👍stay safe

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

Many thanks! Aye Pilates is brilliant. I’ve been doing it for a few years now so know most of the moves etc so can do it at home. I really think it helped extend football career as well 👍

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That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.

Thanks for sharing this everyone.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

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So sorry to read that. Can't imagine how you're feeling but thoughts go out to you.

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Originally Posted by Sir David Gray

That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

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I posted this in a different group ages ago, I'm not sure how helpful it can be to you both, but if it is, great.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
Hi all,
Hope we're all feeling as ok as we can about things right now. I know the thoughts about guilt and school (I'm a teacher), about giving up certain freedoms to self-isolate or go into quarantine are taking up a lot of our energy. I thought I'd share a few things I've learned in the past that helped me - feel free to totally ignore, cherry pick or use as you best see fit.
Ok, I basically spent 6 months in a form of quarantine back in 2009. I was out about once a week, had a few times where I could go on day trips and managed a night or two away when I was feeling better...but it was 6 months of pain due to chronic migraines. And there were times where I thought this would be my life. So I've got some experience of this in some ways. 1 - You will adjust to it. Like everything in life, it's often less scary than our minds first make it out to be. 2 - You will adjust and find there are some positives to it - time with family, the ability to do things that you wouldn't have allocated time towards. 3 - You realise that online communities can actually keep you sane (and you also realise some need ditched within minutes!) 4 - There's a lot of good advice out there on how to cope mentally. Once you start to pick this up, it kinda stays there. I used a lot of Stoic philosophy and this has changed my life. 5 - Use mental health tools to help. I get hugely increased anxiety and aspects of clinical depression around my migraines. I find that 'morning pages' REALLY help me. Get three sheets of A3 pages and handwrite whatever is in your mind. Rant. Let it all out. It's not a diary so you don't need to worry about formating, handwriting, spelling, grammar or anything. Just write. And do the full three pages. I usually end ranting at around the end of page 2 and then feel a lot more mellow by the end of page 3 as I seem to be on a constructive and positive 'upswing' by then. 6 - Finally, focus as much as you can on control. This is pure Stoic philosophy btw. Most things in our life are outwith our control. Learn to focus on what we can do. We can't control CV but we can look to help, check up on others and keep it constructive and positive. I'm not religious but this 'Serenity Prayer' is used by the Alcoholics Anonymous and is more Stoic than Christian; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
You'll be surprise as to how well you can cope with being at home. You'll pleasantly surprise yourselves I'm sure. There's SO much positivity and support in this group which we can all use.


Some extra things I've done to help me;

Keep a structure in your day
Work out all the things you can do that 'you never have time for' - inc that boring stuff like updating a CV, sorting out house insurance documentation etc
Morning pages really helped me
do weights, exercise
watch your diet
schedule treats

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Originally Posted by heidtheba

That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.

Thanks for sharing this everyone.

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Hi mate, yoga with Adrian is a YouTube channel and she does specials on back pain etc, she’s brilliant and pretty easy to watch as well.

Mental Health And Wellbeing in Covid-19 - resources.

https://wellbeingincovid19.com/?fbcl...90olamuDALaFd8

Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.

Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.

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Originally Posted by wpj

Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.

Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.

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I agree with those who talk of keeping a light routine mate. Might be a good idea to work yourself night by night back towards a normal-sh bedtime? I know these things seem unimportant in the scheme of things currently, many are not rushing off to work in the morning and so on, but I do believe something of a routine is a good idea and keeps us 'anchored' in our lives. Maybe finding a little meaning in the current situation is crucial for a significant amount ot people. We always try to 'make sense' out of life - it's what we do. Maybe you could emerge from any thoughts of a behavioural shut down by seeking out a couple of local seniors who could do with a wee helping hand of support at the moment? You may find it surprising how mutually beneficial that would be.

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

I agree with those who talk of keeping a light routine mate. Might be a good idea to work yourself night by night back towards a normal-sh bedtime? I know these things seem unimportant in the scheme of things currently, many are not rushing off to work in the morning and so on, but I do believe something of a routine is a good idea and keeps us 'anchored' in our lives. Maybe finding a little meaning in the current situation is crucial for a significant amount ot people. We always try to 'make sense' out of life - it's what we do. Maybe you could emerge from any thoughts of a behavioural shut down by seeking out a couple of local seniors who could do with a wee helping hand of support at the moment? You may find it surprising how mutually beneficial that would be.

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My sleep pattern is shocking at the moment. This lockdown is really mucking with me now. Five weeks without seeing my wee girl is horrible. I know there are people worse off then me but this is kicking my arse.
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.

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Originally Posted by wpj

My sleep pattern is shocking at the moment. This lockdown is really mucking with me now. Five weeks without seeing my wee girl is horrible. I know there are people worse off then me but this is kicking my arse.
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.

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Try not to worry about those 'people worse off than me' social comparisons wpj, they don't help and for some, it can actually make them feel even worse because of the guilt it creates. Remember that, like depression, this isolation and the feelings it creates will come and will go. There will be bad days and better days, hang in there.

https://www.afp.com/en/news/3955/rep...rs-doc-1qp5ba3

Hard to know which board this should go on, but 20% of 1600 players surveyed across Europe show signs of anxiety, 13% show signs of depression, due to covid lockdown. In a way not surprising but the numbers are really dramatic.

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

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Originally Posted by SteveHFC

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

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Hope you're ok pal. :aok:

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Originally Posted by SteveHFC

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

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Hope the CBT helps, I hear a lot of positives about it and my personal view is it would work for me. Hope it works. Best wishes.

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Originally Posted by SteveHFC

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

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Stick in there mate, there are many of us here if you need a chat

For the last few weeks I’ve been hosting daily 15min guided meditations at 8.15am. No cost and anyone’s welcome to join in. Just on my facebook page john g coaching so like or follow and you’ll be able to join in if you fancy it.

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

For the last few weeks I’ve been hosting daily 15min guided meditations at 8.15am. No cost and anyone’s welcome to join in. Just on my facebook page john g coaching so like or follow and you’ll be able to join in if you fancy it.

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Good stuff 🙏

How's the take-up been?

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Good stuff 🙏

How's the take-up been?

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Cheers mate. It kinda fluctuates between 10 - 30 folk per live session then i just leave them up for a couple of days as there’s a good few cant make it so just watch the recording. Il just keep doing them as long as there’s people joining in :-)

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

For the last few weeks I’ve been hosting daily 15min guided meditations at 8.15am. No cost and anyone’s welcome to join in. Just on my facebook page john g coaching so like or follow and you’ll be able to join in if you fancy it.

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If you don’t mind me asking a daft question - what EXACTLY is meditation and what is it meant to achieve?

A friend of mine has pretty serious mental health issues for a while and went to stay at a place called Plum Village in France (he ended up staying for the best part of 10 years).

I think he’s now trained as a counsellor and he swears by meditation, but I’ve never really understood what it is about.

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Originally Posted by Smartie

If you don’t mind me asking a daft question - what EXACTLY is meditation and what is it meant to achieve?

A friend of mine has pretty serious mental health issues for a while and went to stay at a place called Plum Village in France (he ended up staying for the best part of 10 years).

I think he’s now trained as a counsellor and he swears by meditation, but I’ve never really understood what it is about.

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Its not a daft question :wink: Theres lots of different ways to meditate but broadly speaking its the practice of focussed attention. Noticing (being aware of) something such as breath, a feeling or a particular thought and using that as a reference point if the mind drifts off as something to come back to. I meditate on noticing awareness but that take a bit longer to explain ;-)

The only time we experience stress, anxiety ect is when we are engaged in thought about it. If we are judging the thought or feeling as bad wrong worse negative then the minds gonna get pretty active trying to work out what needs to be done to feel better. Meditating allows you to notice experience without any judgement (its not good or bad, it just is). If it 'just is' then theres no problem to be fixed so the mind has less to do so to speak.

What is it meant to acheive? Well in the actual practice of meditation your not trying to achieve anything but notice experience, move attention & allow it all. The by-product of doing this is that you may experience more sense of calm or peace. With more awareness of thoughts and emotions, you may not react or get caught up in them as much as you would have before.

A lot of people give up on meditation because its not giving them an experience they want. eg quiet mind, good feelings. Really what's happened is they have gone into the meditation judging the experience (thinking about it) and if its not giving that experience thinking they cant do it or its not for them. By going into it with no expectation you can never get it wrong.

Happiness, love, calm, peace are all our natural default settings (yes I know sometimes that can be hard to believe)they take no effort. When you arent engaged in thought you generally fall back into one of these. Anger, sadness, frustration etc all take a lot of effort to stay in. You have to engage in a lot of thought and push back on a lot of experience to stay in these states.

Ive taught and meditated for years but I still have all types of thoughts & I still experience all the emotions but I dont get as caught up in them as I used to. I can see the experience rather than be it. (and Im human so Im not saying that I always manage that ;-)

My focus these days is to point back to awareness. That thing thats almost impossible to describe thats been shining a light on every experience youve had since you were born. Everything appears and disappears within awareness but most people dont recognise this & focus on the temporary stuff that pops up in aware.

Anyway hope this helps a bit. As I say if you fancy joining in a do free sessions every day at 8.15....Best way to learn is to give it a try :-) Experience is everything

I was about to post my own personal definition of meditation, but DW nailed it first :)

Suffice to say that, for me, it has been a major part of my own mental health toolbox for many years.

It's not an easy thing to do, yet at its heart, it couldn't be simpler. If you're keen to explore, I'd suggest a class or a guided meditation (such as DW's) to get your brain and body used to the basics

And, for the avoidance of doubt, it really doesn't need to be spiritual or religious.

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Originally Posted by SteveHFC

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

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Yes, I take medication and have done for last 4yrs has helped me immensely. I guess it maybe why all this has not affected me really as a few years ago I would be making up negative scenarios regarding work etc. You sound like you are going about things correctly so stick with the medication and if after a while you feel the medication isn't right just tell them you want to try something else. You will credit the CBT and the Meds once you get on track but always remember to give biggest credit to yourself.

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Originally Posted by SteveHFC

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

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Steve, not sure what's up but if you need anything PM me.

I love this thread, has given me so much support in various ways.
Dalianwanda, I try to meditate but my mind keeps drifting off, I tend to overthink things but can't achieve that calmness.

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Originally Posted by wpj

I love this thread, has given me so much support in various ways.
Dalianwanda, I try to meditate but my mind keeps drifting off, I tend to overthink things but can't achieve that calmness.

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It's almost impossible for your mind not to wander. When it does, congratulate yourself for noticing, and bring your focus back to your breath.

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Originally Posted by wpj

I love this thread, has given me so much support in various ways.
Dalianwanda, I try to meditate but my mind keeps drifting off, I tend to overthink things but can't achieve that calmness.

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Exactly what CWG said....The mind is always going to be throwing up thoughts and that’s cool. My attention drifts all the time but that’s not getting it wrong. Main thing is your noticed it and then just to bring it back.

I’ve recordings of the last few days on my page. Give that a go see how you get on.

I mentioned in my previous post it’s not about judging the experience. It’s all about just allowing all experience. Don’t try harder just allow more :-)

We’re so used to doing stuff to get an outcome. The by product of just allowing may be a calmer mind but don’t go into it with any expectation, go in with innocence.

A Meditation student asks their teacher how long it will take them to gain enlightenment if they practice diligently.

"Ten years," says the teacher.

"Well, how about if I really work and double my effort?"

"Twenty years."

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

Exactly what CWG said....The mind is always going to be throwing up thoughts and that’s cool. My attention drifts all the time but that’s not getting it wrong. Main thing is your noticed it and then just to bring it back.

I’ve recordings of the last few days on my page. Give that a go see how you get on.

I mentioned in my previous post it’s not about judging the experience. It’s all about just allowing all experience. Don’t try harder just allow more :-)

We’re so used to doing stuff to get an outcome. The by product of just allowing may be a calmer mind but don’t go into it with any expectation, go in with innocence.

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Thanks for the reply and also CWG. I do online meditation and it kinda works but I struggle to focus

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Originally Posted by Dalianwanda

Its not a daft question :wink: Theres lots of different ways to meditate but broadly speaking its the practice of focussed attention. Noticing (being aware of) something such as breath, a feeling or a particular thought and using that as a reference point if the mind drifts off as something to come back to. I meditate on noticing awareness but that take a bit longer to explain ;-)

The only time we experience stress, anxiety ect is when we are engaged in thought about it. If we are judging the thought or feeling as bad wrong worse negative then the minds gonna get pretty active trying to work out what needs to be done to feel better. Meditating allows you to notice experience without any judgement (its not good or bad, it just is). If it 'just is' then theres no problem to be fixed so the mind has less to do so to speak.

What is it meant to acheive? Well in the actual practice of meditation your not trying to achieve anything but notice experience, move attention & allow it all. The by-product of doing this is that you may experience more sense of calm or peace. With more awareness of thoughts and emotions, you may not react or get caught up in them as much as you would have before.

A lot of people give up on meditation because its not giving them an experience they want. eg quiet mind, good feelings. Really what's happened is they have gone into the meditation judging the experience (thinking about it) and if its not giving that experience thinking they cant do it or its not for them. By going into it with no expectation you can never get it wrong.

Happiness, love, calm, peace are all our natural default settings (yes I know sometimes that can be hard to believe)they take no effort. When you arent engaged in thought you generally fall back into one of these. Anger, sadness, frustration etc all take a lot of effort to stay in. You have to engage in a lot of thought and push back on a lot of experience to stay in these states.

Ive taught and meditated for years but I still have all types of thoughts & I still experience all the emotions but I dont get as caught up in them as I used to. I can see the experience rather than be it. (and Im human so Im not saying that I always manage that ;-)

My focus these days is to point back to awareness. That thing thats almost impossible to describe thats been shining a light on every experience youve had since you were born. Everything appears and disappears within awareness but most people dont recognise this & focus on the temporary stuff that pops up in aware.

Anyway hope this helps a bit. As I say if you fancy joining in a do free sessions every day at 8.15....Best way to learn is to give it a try :-) Experience is everything

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Thanks very much for the explanation.

I'm going to give it a shot - see you in the morning!

It sounds like it is exactly what I'm what I'm looking for.

Hopefully this doesn't annoy Dalianwanda but I have a copy of meditation for dummies, it is a useful guide. I have better luck with that than excel for dummies

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Originally Posted by wpj

Hopefully this doesn't annoy Dalianwanda but I have a copy of meditation for dummies, it is a useful guide. I have better luck with that than excel for dummies

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haha...I've not read it to be honest..Im guessing it would have a lot of different practices and a fair bit of theory which is cool....but....remember its all about witnessing, moving attention & allowing what ever happens. If you find it helpful, birilliant. Theres a tendency for people to make it too complicated too quickly. Keep it simple so your not getting bogged down in techniques and just enjoy the experience. Dont spend to much time looking at the finger when pointing to the moon :-)

Hope this is ok to post here, I'm not trying to post an 'I'm ok so all is well' type of thing but...lockdown has suited me down to the ground. I've always known I was an introvert, even if I can appear social. I like being around people but the thought processes and stresses exhaust me. I find it hard. My big worry right now isn't how to cope with lockdown, I'm enjoying the tranquility (although obviously missing family and some friends and worried about global situation etc etc), my big worry is how I recover when we're right back into it.

I'm a teacher and I'm also involved in my own personal work which involves lots of meeting members of the public. I'm relaxed about being on lockdown but now worrying about coping with being back.
I'm already having 'back in work' arguments in my own head with people that have done nothing to wrong me. I'm going to go back over the posts about meditation. They've been really helpful, thank you.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

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I realise this is an old post but just found it.

Just wanted to say... Wow! That's exactly how I've been feeling. I'm suddenly one of the calmest people around and have actually been helping other people get through their stress.

That's completely the opposite to the usual me :greengrin

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Originally Posted by heidtheba

Hope this is ok to post here, I'm not trying to post an 'I'm ok so all is well' type of thing but...lockdown has suited me down to the ground. I've always known I was an introvert, even if I can appear social. I like being around people but the thought processes and stresses exhaust me. I find it hard. My big worry right now isn't how to cope with lockdown, I'm enjoying the tranquility (although obviously missing family and some friends and worried about global situation etc etc), my big worry is how I recover when we're right back into it.

I'm a teacher and I'm also involved in my own personal work which involves lots of meeting members of the public. I'm relaxed about being on lockdown but now worrying about coping with being back.
I'm already having 'back in work' arguments in my own head with people that have done nothing to wrong me. I'm going to go back over the posts about meditation. They've been really helpful, thank you.

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The cool thing is that your already noticing your having the 'back to work' arguments. For you to experience them you need to engage in thought about them. When you arent can you find them anywhere? So first thing, if you can see the thought you must be the witnesser of the thought. Those thoughts are nothing to do with you apart from being a temporary appearance within your awareness.

Worrying about the future doesnt mean your experiencing anything about the future, just a thought about it in the moment. As everything we experience is 'in our heads' for want of a better phrase the body is going to react the same whether its real or not. (I might think about food and salivate same as if I had a nice curry actually in front of me) So we have a feeling as a reaction to the thought. The feeling knows nothing about the thought its a biological reaction. So again play with seeing the thought for what it is and play with just allow that feeling to bubble up without doing anything else.

I dont like giving advice as such but just trying to point you back to somewhere I think you already realise you should be looking. Hope thats makes sense & if it doesnt feel free to ignore :greengrin

I mentioned to my other half that I was going to do the meditation session this morning to calm my brain down a bit as I was buzzing.

She said that I seemed calmer than the whole time we've been together, 12 years, which I am really.

Yesterday was just a bit mad in many ways. I'm on a WhatsApp group with old Uni mates, we all have similar businesses etc and we're trying to pick our way through this crisis. One of the lads turned his phone off for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and came back to 269 messages. I've got computer open, windows and tabs everywhere, phone buzzing - in many ways I'm all over the place.

In many ways I'm perfectly calm. Every meal for weeks with my partner and daughter. Plenty of sleep. Minimal day to day work related aggro. Been able to work on some self help stuff throughout.

Just need to sort out the constant mental stimulation situation as it's pretty exhausting.


Really enjoyed the session this morning Dalianwanda.

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Originally Posted by Smartie

I mentioned to my other half that I was going to do the meditation session this morning to calm my brain down a bit as I was buzzing.

She said that I seemed calmer than the whole time we've been together, 12 years, which I am really.

Yesterday was just a bit mad in many ways. I'm on a WhatsApp group with old Uni mates, we all have similar businesses etc and we're trying to pick our way through this crisis. One of the lads turned his phone off for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and came back to 269 messages. I've got computer open, windows and tabs everywhere, phone buzzing - in many ways I'm all over the place.

In many ways I'm perfectly calm. Every meal for weeks with my partner and daughter. Plenty of sleep. Minimal day to day work related aggro. Been able to work on some self help stuff throughout.

Just need to sort out the constant mental stimulation situation as it's pretty exhausting.


Really enjoyed the session this morning Dalianwanda.

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Thats a cool realisation..

Glad you enjoyed it dude :-) That's the thing with thoughts, feelings and stuff, its always on the move always on the go. The awareness isnt. Thats why I generally anchor back to that at the end of the meditation. That peace is there all the time, it doesnt go anywhere its just we tend to look elsewhere for it and forget where its always been.

Hope to see you there again soon :-)

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Originally Posted by heidtheba

Hope this is ok to post here, I'm not trying to post an 'I'm ok so all is well' type of thing but...lockdown has suited me down to the ground. I've always known I was an introvert, even if I can appear social. I like being around people but the thought processes and stresses exhaust me. I find it hard. My big worry right now isn't how to cope with lockdown, I'm enjoying the tranquility (although obviously missing family and some friends and worried about global situation etc etc), my big worry is how I recover when we're right back into it.

I'm a teacher and I'm also involved in my own personal work which involves lots of meeting members of the public. I'm relaxed about being on lockdown but now worrying about coping with being back.
I'm already having 'back in work' arguments in my own head with people that have done nothing to wrong me. I'm going to go back over the posts about meditation. They've been really helpful, thank you.

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Its great reading in I'm the same because i feel safe in my private we world this lockdown is like heaven .
I can go we walks and seem to be more sociable . Then i can retreat to safety.
I totally get the guys worrying about going back into the big bad world so to speak but just maybe the slow re- entry everyone is going to face might just be a blessing for all those heading back into the working world.
As always i say to people what helps me the most is ejecting everthything from my life that pulls me down! Right now there is nothing so I'm like you guys in a good place .
Let's all learn from now try and apply it to our life's going forward . Its ok to be not ok .
Lecture over LOL




Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Greenworld

Its great reading in I'm the same because i feel safe in my private we world this lockdown is like heaven .
I can go we walks and seem to be more sociable . Then i can retreat to safety.
I totally get the guys worrying about going back into the big bad world so to speak but just maybe the slow re- entry everyone is going to face might just be a blessing for all those heading back into the working world.
As always i say to people what helps me the most is ejecting everthything from my life that pulls me down! Right now there is nothing so I'm like you guys in a good place .
Let's all learn from now try and apply it to our life's going forward . Its ok to be not ok .
Lecture over LOL


Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

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I have heard a lot of people saying similar things.

There's something about the slowing of pace , the silence, and the peace that a lot of people are going to miss. If one takes a spiritual view of the pandemic.... that Mother Earth is giving us a kicking.... that new attitude that you suggest is going to be so important going forward.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

I have heard a lot of people saying similar things.

There's something about the slowing of pace , the silence, and the peace that a lot of people are going to miss. If one takes a spiritual view of the pandemic.... that Mother Earth is giving us a kicking.... that new attitude that you suggest is going to be so important going forward.

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When I was out for a long walk today I found myself, unexpectedly, getting “angry” with people driving cars particularly those going fast or playing really loud music. Bordering on hatred 😂.

I couldn’t wait to get off the main road and into a park.

I haven’t filled my own car with petrol since 14th March and other than going to supermarkets I haven’t driven at all for 2 months.

Bizarre.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

I have heard a lot of people saying similar things.

There's something about the slowing of pace , the silence, and the peace that a lot of people are going to miss. If one takes a spiritual view of the pandemic.... that Mother Earth is giving us a kicking.... that new attitude that you suggest is going to be so important going forward.

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I agree with a lot of that. I struggled with anxiety and depression going into lockdown probably due to a huge change in routine and no access to exercise which is a key part of my coping strategy. I sort of then got into the lockdown mode and enjoyed the peace. I now find myself anxious about coming out of lockdown with life going from 0-60 in 5 seconds and the risk of being overwhelmed. It really is going to have to be one step at a time over the next few weeks and months...