Depression and anxiety

[CropleyWasGod]

Does anyone have any experience with CCBT (Computerised Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)?

I'm in the middle of trying to get to grips with one particular system. I'm not a huge fan of CBT itself, but I do understand how it works for many. This program takes that one stage further, and allows a patient/client to go through a CBT process online, either supported or unsupported.

At first sight, it seems self-evident as to how it works. However, I'm looking to get some anecdotal evidence, either from a client or a supporter. There's not a lot of opinion out there , other than 1 academic study that I have found.

Any thoughts would be welcome.

[stu in nottingham]

Does anyone have any experience with CCBT (Computerised Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)?

I'm in the middle of trying to get to grips with one particular system. I'm not a huge fan of CBT itself, but I do understand how it works for many. This program takes that one stage further, and allows a patient/client to go through a CBT process online, either supported or unsupported.

At first sight, it seems self-evident as to how it works. However, I'm looking to get some anecdotal evidence, either from a client or a supporter. There's not a lot of opinion out there , other than 1 academic study that I have found.

Any thoughts would be welcome.

Not been involved personally and it contains no feedback but there is a description of a CCBT course of treatment for gambling disorders below CWG.

The system employs some telephone counselling at certain junctures to review progress I understand.

I'm not for or against it particularly and have similar thoughts about CBT in general as yourself. I've heard anecdotally of a few positive outcomes and reviews via a couple of IAPT counsellors I know.

I suppose the slight cynic in me senses a whiff of money-saving about it but I wouldn't want to dismiss it either. I find that most of my clients have too many complex needs to make a CCBT course apt for them.

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/our-treatment-offer/online-treatment/

[CropleyWasGod]

Not been involved personally and it contains no feedback but there is a description of a CCBT course of treatment for gambling disorders below CWG.

The system employs some telephone counselling at certain junctures to review progress I understand.

I'm not for or against it particularly and have similar thoughts about CBT in general as yourself. I've heard anecdotally of a few positive outcomes and reviews via a couple of IAPT counsellors I know.

I suppose the slight cynic in me senses a whiff of money-saving about it but I wouldn't want to dismiss it either. I find that most of my clients have too many complex needs to make a CCBT course apt for them.

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/our-treatment-offer/online-treatment/

Thanks for that, Stu.

The only reviews I have seen (of the system I am looking at) are on the provider's website, and of course they are going to be positive. They are along the lines of it's .... convenient, anonymous, stigma-free, sense of control, flexible.

I can understand all of that, and they're decent arguments. But, I want to hear what not's good about it, so that I can decide whether it's appropriate for the people that want to use it, or whether the deficiencies can be overcome. (I always look at the bad reviews on Trust Pilot first:greengrin).

Other than the (presumed) argument that it's impersonal, and doesn't allow for those moments in a therapy session where things take a 90degree turn into something unexpected..... I can't see the problems, but I know they must be out there.

As an aside, the provider is the contractor for the NHS throughout the UK, so I look forward to an independent review soon. :rolleyes: Either that, or some journalist telling us that the CEO is the cousin of a Cabinet minister. :greengrin

[jonty]

On the CBT note, I noticed this on hotdealsUK
https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-4-books-in-1-manage-panic-depression-worry-anxiety-overthinking-insomnia-kindle-edition-free-at-amazon-3589696

Free CBT kindle book
It seems to get good reviews/feedback on amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B086WQ5J7Q

[SteveHFC]

On the CBT note, I noticed this on hotdealsUK
https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-4-books-in-1-manage-panic-depression-worry-anxiety-overthinking-insomnia-kindle-edition-free-at-amazon-3589696

Free CBT kindle book
It seems to get good reviews/feedback on amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B086WQ5J7Q

May download that mate. :aok:

[The 90+2]

I’m am just now really really really suicidal

[The 90+2]

And I just wanted to post the above because the last post I made out and shat it. I’m looking at a wardrobe and got a belt and really really fancy it.

[Jones28]

I’m am just now really really really suicidal

Please phone the Samaritans mate

116123

[The 90+2]

I’ll miss so so many people my children that I’ve not see since I left their mum eventually being treated like **** but the way I’m living is worse and people saying it will get better don’t know a **** if they’re missing their daughter in P1 and having to live with the guilt trip of doing everyone for them and it seems I’ve just deserted them. I’ve not now slept for two weeks 🤣🤣 she said I could meet her and my baby who is two yesterday after I was at the doctors in her area only to say nah I’m not man enough to tell my family I was meeting her even though I said I would take a video for my mum. I genuinely genuinely hate my life and only do so for my children and not to Upset my parents. I keep looking at how to end things now. At least I’ve life insurance for the children.

[The 90+2]

Please phone the Samaritans mate

116123

Nah. I’m far deeper than that pal.

[Antifa Hibs]

Nah. I’m far deeper than that pal.

Pick up the phone mate - dial anyone. 999, your doctor, your mum, Samaritans - anyone. Talk it over. Doesn't have to be like this. Your daughter/children will need a father alot more than a few grand insurance money. Think of them.

[Pretty Boy]

I’ll miss so so many people my children that I’ve not see since I left their mum eventually being treated like **** but the way I’m living is worse and people saying it will get better don’t know a **** if they’re missing their daughter in P1 and having to live with the guilt trip of doing everyone for them and it seems I’ve just deserted them. I’ve not now slept for two weeks 🤣🤣 she said I could meet her and my baby who is two yesterday after I was at the doctors in her area only to say nah I’m not man enough to tell my family I was meeting her even though I said I would take a video for my mum. I genuinely genuinely hate my life and only do so for my children and not to Upset my parents. I keep looking at how to end things now. At least I’ve life insurance for the children.

Mate, your children need their dad more than they need an insurance pay out.

Take a deep breath, think about it and phone 999. There are crisis teams on call who can help you through this, same as any other medical emergency.

I know it's hard and feels hopeless, so many of us on here do but you are not alone. PM me if you need to chat.

[Jones28]

Nah. I’m far deeper than that pal.

Money is no replacement. These kids won't look and see a bank balance, they'll look and see they're missing their dad. Please call someone

[CMurdoch]

I’m am just now really really really suicidal

PM sent.
Your a son and a father. Hang in.
Go for a walk, phone someone. Whatever it takes until the feeling passes.... and it will.

[Greenworld]

Where do you live are you in Edinburgh area i can come right now and talk to you I've been there thank god i didnt

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[CMurdoch]

I’m am just now really really really suicidal

The guys are reaching out to you.
Post briefly to let us know you are safe.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I’ll miss so so many people my children that I’ve not see since I left their mum eventually being treated like **** but the way I’m living is worse and people saying it will get better don’t know a **** if they’re missing their daughter in P1 and having to live with the guilt trip of doing everyone for them and it seems I’ve just deserted them. I’ve not now slept for two weeks 🤣🤣 she said I could meet her and my baby who is two yesterday after I was at the doctors in her area only to say nah I’m not man enough to tell my family I was meeting her even though I said I would take a video for my mum. I genuinely genuinely hate my life and only do so for my children and not to Upset my parents. I keep looking at how to end things now. At least I’ve life insurance for the children.

Take all the advice and assistance being offered to you on here mate.

[matty_f]

Nah. I’m far deeper than that pal.

You're not - speak to someone asap, you can PM me and I'll PM you my number if it helps.

[kaimendhibs]

Does anyone have any experience with CCBT (Computerised Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)?

I'm in the middle of trying to get to grips with one particular system. I'm not a huge fan of CBT itself, but I do understand how it works for many. This program takes that one stage further, and allows a patient/client to go through a CBT process online, either supported or unsupported.

At first sight, it seems self-evident as to how it works. However, I'm looking to get some anecdotal evidence, either from a client or a supporter. There's not a lot of opinion out there , other than 1 academic study that I have found.

Any thoughts would be welcome.Ive had CBT and benefitted greatly from it, a few years back. Very basically its the process of changing negative thoughts to more positive thoughts.
Sadly, its transpired that Im ill again and am actually starting another course this afternoon although sadly its not face to face.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

[kaimendhibs]

And I just wanted to post the above because the last post I made out and shat it. I’m looking at a wardrobe and got a belt and really really fancy it.Please phone someone mate

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[CropleyWasGod]

Ive had CBT and benefitted greatly from it, a few years back. Very basically its the process of changing negative thoughts to more positive thoughts.
Sadly, its transpired that Im ill again and am actually starting another course this afternoon although sadly its not face to face.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

It worked for you before, so you're already well-armed to do it all again. :agree:

When you say not face-to-face, do you mean it's with a therapist online, or is it an online course that you take yourself?

[kaimendhibs]

Its with a therapist arranged by my employer

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[CropleyWasGod]

Its with a therapist arranged by my employer

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

Ok, by Zoom or similar?

From my side of the fence, the therapist, the process works just as well as F-to-F. In some cases, it's even better, as the client is in their own environment, and often able to relax more.

That said, it works best when the client is comfortable with the whole notion of the remoteness.

[SteveHFC]

Does anyone have any experience with CCBT (Computerised Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)?

I'm in the middle of trying to get to grips with one particular system. I'm not a huge fan of CBT itself, but I do understand how it works for many. This program takes that one stage further, and allows a patient/client to go through a CBT process online, either supported or unsupported.

At first sight, it seems self-evident as to how it works. However, I'm looking to get some anecdotal evidence, either from a client or a supporter. There's not a lot of opinion out there , other than 1 academic study that I have found.

Any thoughts would be welcome.

Done a 8 week course with CBT earlier this year, which has made a big difference to myself and in life in general.

They ask you questions of how you feeling each week and discuss any negative thoughts you're having.

[kaimendhibs]

Todays is a normal phone call but future sessions will be either zoom or other video call. Previously CBT really pulled me back from the brink but ive relapsed. Without getting into detail on here a lot of my issues have been caused by personal tragedy

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[Just_Jimmy]

has anyone spoken to 90+2?

mate if you're reading this, I echo what everyone has said! I deal with people in crisis daily in my job, I've thankfully never suffered past feeling low but I see the impact daily.

I've also had to tell families the worst news and trust me, suicide is the worst news you can break to any family. suicide is brave but fighting back and fighting on is much much braver when you feel like it's on top of you.

reach out, any one of us are hear to listen, phone 999 and ask for someone to come. just don't do anything daft because one day your kids will ask why. it's much better if they ask why didn't you and you can say "because I loved you too much".

reach out and please be safe.

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[matty_f]

has anyone spoken to 90+2?

mate if you're reading this, I echo what everyone has said! I deal with people in crisis daily in my job, I've thankfully never suffered past feeling low but I see the impact daily.

I've also had to tell families the worst news and trust me, suicide is the worst news you can break to any family. suicide is brave but fighting back and fighting on is much much braver when you feel like it's on top of you.

reach out, any one of us are hear to listen, phone 999 and ask for someone to come. just don't do anything daft because one day your kids will ask why. it's much better if they ask why didn't you and you can say "because I loved you too much".

reach out and please be safe.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

I’ve exchanged a few texts earlier. :agree:

Not really my place to go into it but think he’s ok at the moment.

[Just_Jimmy]

I’ve exchanged a few texts earlier. :agree:

Not really my place to go into it but think he’s ok at the moment.excellent news.

hopefully he's back posting soon.

if you read this mate, glad to hear youre trying. keep going and message me anytime.



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[Jakhog1]

I’ve exchanged a few texts earlier. :agree:

Not really my place to go into it but think he’s ok at the moment.

Good stuff, well done for reaching out, I'm glad to hear he has been in contact, although I don't know 90+2 I have been concerned and hoping he is ok, I don't know the right or wrong thing to say but keep talking to people, you have support on here if you need to talk, tommorow is a new day

[Pedantic_Hibee]

I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/17/its-still-ok-to-feel-a-bit-****/

[SHODAN]

I've kept up with this thread for a long time but never posted, partly because it can be difficult at times to talk about these sort of things in a public forum, and partly because everything I could say has been put so well by everyone else on here.

However, as someone who's dealt off and (primarily) on with severe anxiety and depression for well over a decade, I sincerely hope 90+2 is feeling better now and getting the help he needs. It can be, and is, a ****ing awful thing to cope with.

[Pretty Boy]

I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/17/its-still-ok-to-feel-a-bit-****/

Another good read.

I think sometimes we downplay the small things. With my mental health I often search for the big cause. Why do I feel like this sometimes? It must be some huge reason and it frustrates me that I don't understand it, I almost find it insulting. Truth is I think it is just as likely to be a culmination of small things. Dark nights, cancelled plans, a ***** year...... Fair enough the last one is pretty ****ing big.

It's a miserable time at the moment. I think even those who are coping well with all that is going on would find it hard to argue otherwise. Maybe it is setting us up to really appreciate the small things when this all blows over though. We'll inevitably slip back into complacency but for a while all the things we took for granted will be amazing.

[wpj]

It's no secret i have ongoing health issues, been contacted by a few poster and im grateful. Tomorrow I have a series of tests at hospital and possibly an overnight stay although I doubt that due to to the current situation and beds are at a premium. The current weather and darkness is affecting me more than previous years, never bothered me previously but this year added to my health issues I'm struggling. I can relate to the posters who have no access to their kids, I haven't seen my wee girl for months and miss her so much, long story short all the rules are being dictated by her mum which kicking my erchie despite keeping on my maintenance payments I feel helpless. I do get to talk to her and she randomly messages me but nothing replaces a cuddle

[Sylar]

It's no secret i have ongoing health issues, been contacted by a few poster and im grateful. Tomorrow I have a series of tests at hospital and possibly an overnight stay although I doubt that due to to the current situation and beds are at a premium. The current weather and darkness is affecting me more than previous years, never bothered me previously but this year added to my health issues I'm struggling. I can relate to the posters who have no access to their kids, I haven't seen my wee girl for months and miss her so much, long story short all the rules are being dictated by her mum which kicking my erchie despite keeping on my maintenance payments I feel helpless. I do get to talk to her and she randomly messages me but nothing replaces a cuddle

Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow, sir. The dark nights usually don't bother me too much but this year, on top of everything else, it's an amplification. Factor in that some places already have their Christmas lights on and it's a very weird time of year. Totally understand your pain at not seeing your wee lass, too. My 3 year old and wife spent 2 weeks isolating at my in-laws after a positive case at my daughter's nursery - those 2 weeks were pretty awful and I can't imagine a longer term absence. Is there anything you can do to get more access? It sounds like it would definitely help you.

[wpj]

Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow, sir. The dark nights usually don't bother me too much but this year, on top of everything else, it's an amplification. Factor in that some places already have their Christmas lights on and it's a very weird time of year. Totally understand your pain at not seeing your wee lass, too. My 3 year old and wife spent 2 weeks isolating at my in-laws after a positive case at my daughter's nursery - those 2 weeks were pretty awful and I can't imagine a longer term absence. Is there anything you can do to get more access? It sounds like it would definitely help you.

Thanks, I'm working on access but given my health issues I need to get better before I can have her here and totally get her mum's concern. I'm post stroke so confused and weak so I get it. Got to get sorted and prove I can look after myself to prove I can look after her. Strangely lockdown is giving me the time and space to get better, for a 5 year old she completely understands the situation

[McD]

I’ll miss so so many people my children that I’ve not see since I left their mum eventually being treated like **** but the way I’m living is worse and people saying it will get better don’t know a **** if they’re missing their daughter in P1 and having to live with the guilt trip of doing everyone for them and it seems I’ve just deserted them. I’ve not now slept for two weeks 🤣🤣 she said I could meet her and my baby who is two yesterday after I was at the doctors in her area only to say nah I’m not man enough to tell my family I was meeting her even though I said I would take a video for my mum. I genuinely genuinely hate my life and only do so for my children and not to Upset my parents. I keep looking at how to end things now. At least I’ve life insurance for the children.


mate, I know I’m late to this, but please please keep thinking of how much love you have for your children, and how much love they have for you.

reach out and talk to anyone, loads on here, me included, or anyone else, will absolutely be there to listen and talk. I saw later in the thread you’ve texted someone a few times, I’m so relieved to hear that, please keep doing that

[JimBHibees]

I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/17/its-still-ok-to-feel-a-bit-****/

That's a good read well done can certainly relate to a lot of that especially this time of year.

[Jones28]

I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/17/its-still-ok-to-feel-a-bit-****/

A really good read. Lots of good points raised - especially beating yourself up about a routine you've set yourself.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

A really good read. Lots of good points raised - especially beating yourself up about a routine you've set yourself.

I think as someone mentioned previously, often difficult to know whether you're saying the right or wrong things - but talking is better than silence and there are no (apart from the obvious!) right or wrong answers but I guess there's options. Sometimes the positive options are just there, known and then they appear to shrink or fade away, become less obvious. Reframing things and looking at things from different perspectives sounds great and can possibly help - it must be sooo difficult in the current lockdown situation where gaining such perspective is reduced with the lack of face to face access - although there are ways around that - but as also mentioned above no substitute for a hug.

I've been thinking about the darkness and how it affects most of us to varying degrees and with my wife not looking forward to this season - folks from other sunny places find this period a toughie - I got to thinking how to turn things into a positive - this just now trend and no substitute for people mind.

Well there's a thread on the PM board about Jupiter, Saturn and Mars - with the darkness comes viewing possibilities - and the earlier it gets dark the less time you have to wait to sit up for things.

I used to be keen on astronomy as a kid this re-ignited my interest, I also went fishing with my boy for the first time and actually caught a fish - first time on my own and only the second in my life. So thinking back to rediscovering passions from your youth that for one reason or not didn't materialise could be something to consider.

Orrabest people. And 90+2 wishing you all the best. Rest up sleep for Scotland hope you're back on a more even keel soon. Take care and know that there are people that don't even know you that do care and there's the foundation of your kid and family and friends. Theres bits of sunshine amongst the wind today - fresh, nice, Scotland. Might fit in another 3 seasons before the day is out!

[stu in nottingham]

has anyone spoken to 90+2?


Had a wee word earlier yesterday Jimmy.


I think as someone mentioned previously, often difficult to know whether you're saying the right or wrong things - but talking is better than silence and there are no (apart from the obvious!) right or wrong answer.s but I guess there's options.

I was talking about this subject just yesterday in a team meeting with other practitioners. Even among professionals there can sometimes be some apprehension and lack of understanding on how to do this I find. In general I tend to be fairly direct about the subject with clients. I also think it's helpful to 'normalise' the subject and the thoughts people are having about it. We can say that the worst thing to do is say nothing. Couple of things here:

'Talking To A Suicidal Person
Here we encounter another great myth about suicide, the notion that talking to someone about their suicidal thoughts is somehow encouraging them to carry out the act. In these situations, it is important to begin a dialogue, to initiate a conversation about the subject. The conversation can include discussion about sources of help and assistance such as attending the GP or a therapist. It is wise to identify a help line such as The Samaritans and to keep that number in their phone or wallet/purse. An agreement can be made to follow up these actions with a future chat in which progress can be reported and reviewed.
I feel it’s better to be fairly direct with a person by asking similar to the following questions:


How are you coping with your problems?
Are you thinking about dying or hurting yourself?
Have you made any plans to take your own life?

The latter – making the distinction between a person experiencing suicidal thoughts and one who is actually making the plans to do it is of high importance. This is not only for the helper/listener but also for the person themselves in understanding and clarifying their own situation a little better.'

https://stuartfrew.wordpress.com/2019/09/10/suicide-risk-factors-warning-signs-and-how-to-talk-to-a-person-with-suicide-ideation/

[The 90+2]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

[stu in nottingham]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Really good to hear from you mate. Try not to feel embarrassed, remember the way this works here is that reading others' words is a help to others, it enables and encourages them to talk themselves and that can never be a bad thing. Please don't feel as though you need to provide an explanation of what's going on. If you feel you want to that's fine and good but do that if and when it feels good for you.

Simply this, I know I speak for many others here when I see you're still with us and talking a wee bit. Take your own good time with things and know that you've got a lot of support here. I can say it's a real lift to have you around.

[Jakhog1]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Really glad to hear that nothing to be embarrassed about, the best and most bravest thing you could do by talking and acknowledging your feelings, I don't know you but you definitely had me worried for you, sounds from your message that you are in a better place, keep fighting mate and us hibbies are here for you

[hibbydog]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance ��

I've never met you or even crossed paths on here, but I feel compelled to post you a message of support. I can identify with your feelings and I really hope you turn the corner. I've found that these difficult times magnify previously small problems and puts a massive strain on everything.

3 points on Saturday would certainly lift the spirits :-)

Joking aside, I hope you're alright mate

GGTTH

[Future17]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Good to hear from you and, as others have said, there's nothing to be embarrassed about when you have the courage to admit you're not OK.

Of course you're right about Hearts...just don't get your hopes up for the BBC to do a propaganda fluff-piece documentary about you as well. :greengrin:

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/18/mindless-musings-of-a-man-on-a-bus/

[McD]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍



there’s no embarrassment in acknowledging you’re in a bad place, quite the opposite mate. It takes a lot of courage to say what you did, and I’m sure I speak for many on here that I was really glad to see you’d posted.

there’s always someone who will be there to listen, or to talk, or support you however you you need it, whether that’s here or elsewhere.

[Pretty Boy]

Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/18/mindless-musings-of-a-man-on-a-bus/

I think most people who have read your posts on here over the years knew you had a bit of a way with words. However to write something like that off the cuff on the bus is a gift. I could sit with a blank piece of paper and a month of free time and would struggle to come up with anything that measures up.

I'm not sure if saying I 'enjoy' these is the right tunrn of phrase, there is some pretty serious subject matter but I find them gripping.

[jonty]

I think most people who have read your posts on here over the years knew you had a bit of a way with words. However to write something like that off the cuff on the bus is a gift. I could sit with a blank piece of paper and a month of free time and would struggle to come up with anything that measures up.

I'm not sure if saying I 'enjoy' these is the right tunrn of phrase, there is some pretty serious subject matter but I find them gripping.

:agree:

[Pedantic_Hibee]

I think most people who have read your posts on here over the years knew you had a bit of a way with words. However to write something like that off the cuff on the bus is a gift. I could sit with a blank piece of paper and a month of free time and would struggle to come up with anything that measures up.

I'm not sure if saying I 'enjoy' these is the right tunrn of phrase, there is some pretty serious subject matter but I find them gripping.

Wow. Thank you. Coming from someone like yourself who I regard as my favourite and most worldly wise poster on here, that’s a delightful compliment to receive. I’m chuffed. Thank you.

[calumhibee1]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Glad to hear you’re ok mate. You’re a brave man - absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m sure I speak for everyone on here when they say we’re all available should you ever need someone to talk to.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

90+2, glad to hear you’re bearing up. I PM’d you yesterday however there’s no rush to read it nor respond. In fact you don’t even need to respond. Or read it for that matter.

Do things at your own pace and look after yourself, fella 💚

[Sir David Gray]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, I wish you all the best and hope you get the help and support that you need and deserve.

Well done for speaking up.

[sleeping giant]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Good luck to you mate.

[BILLYHIBS]

Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/18/mindless-musings-of-a-man-on-a-bus/
:top marks

[superfurryhibby]

For anyone on here who is struggling and needs to do something to keep safe, the Edinburgh Crisis Centre is a great resource. They can offer telephone support and overnight accommodation. It’s somewhere I’ve had professional contact with and I rate them very highly. It’s a lovely place, with well trained staff. Access is informal, you don’t need a referral, you just call them

http://www.edinburghcrisiscentre.org.uk/wordpress/

[DaveF]

Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/18/mindless-musings-of-a-man-on-a-bus/

Read a couple of your articles and as PB says 'enjoy' isn't right but they are very readable. Keep it going.

[hibbydog]

Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/18/mindless-musings-of-a-man-on-a-bus/

An enjoyable wee read that. 👍

[wpj]

Discharged and given a free ride home, Indeed, thank you NHS. 25 years I worked for them and they never fail to amaze me.
Lots of help out there, access it they genuinely care ❤

[kaimendhibs]

90+2 Glad you are ok but please still seek help. Take care

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

[Mibbes Aye]

Discharged and given a free ride home, Indeed, thank you NHS. 25 years I worked for them and they never fail to amaze me.
Lots of help out there, access it they genuinely care ❤

:aok:

[CraigHibee]

I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/17/its-still-ok-to-feel-a-bit-****/

Good read mate

[CraigHibee]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better, never feel embarrassed to reach out mate, its far better to talk and discuss about how you are feeling rather than keeping it bottled up

[CMurdoch]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance ��

As everyone else has said, no need for embarrassment. Flagging up how bad you were feeling was a smart and brave move. Good on ya.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Passing the time on a freezing cold bus.

There’s not much in the way of mental health in this post so I wasn’t sure whether to post it or not but what the hell.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/20/freaky-friday/

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Passing the time on a freezing cold bus.

There’s not much in the way of mental health in this post so I wasn’t sure whether to post it or not but what the hell.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/2020/11/20/freaky-friday/

Liked that a return to basics.

[Pretty Boy]

I’m at the end of my tether. I’ll be honest, I’ve absolutely had enough.

Deleted all my social media this morning. I’ve just had enough and I can’t see a way out.

I’m not going to do anything before anyone worries, I’ve got two kids who need their dad so the thought of doing myself in hasn’t entered my head but I’m just scunnered.

My heart is irreparably broken and I struggle to see how I can ever look to own my own place and give my daughter the bedroom she needs and deserves. My alternative is to rent a place which will cost me the best part of £800-£900 a month and leave me with very little to be able to afford anything beyond my bills and basics.

It’s been building up all week and this morning its just hit me like a train.

I’ve got my daughter asking me to sit and play puzzles with her and I don’t even have the energy to do that. It’s ****ed.

I know it isn't a solution to the fundemenatal problem but with regards to the living arrangements have you looked into mid market rent? It's significantly cheaper than private rentals in Edinburgh but easier to access than social housing. There are criteria for qualifying but essentially if you are working and not claiming housing benefit then you will have a decent shot.

[Smartie]

I’m not as comfortable talking about it as other folk are, but it appears that a good few of us are going through similar stuff right now.

Hang in there folks.

[McD]

Pedantic Hibee:

I know it’s on lockdown just now, but you’ve spoken about wanting to get your driving test passed. Once you’ve done that, could you look a bit further afield for somewhere new to stay, could well see the rent costs come down quite a bit, and having a car makes it easier to get your kids and bring them home

[kaimendhibs]

Pedantic Hibee

Just read your post and Im really sorry you are struggling so much. As said, if you pass your driving test you could commute into Edinburgh. I live in South Lanarkshire and it takes me 40/45 minutes to centre of Edinburgh.
My daughter has just moved into a rented flat here, 450 per month. Two bedrooms. Average rent between 400/500 per month.
The commuting not bad, Ive been doing it for 17 years now.
Good luck

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

[Tambo]

I am close to the end, no full time jobs done here and agency treat you like ****, get rid of you whenever they feel like it.

Back to unemployment.

[McD]

I am close to the end, no full time jobs done here and agency treat you like ****, get rid of you whenever they feel like it.

Back to unemployment.


where are you mate? May be someone on here knows the area and of full time jobs.

It’s a horrible tough time, people are always here to talk, vent to, lean on

[One Day Soon]

Thinking of everyone who is struggling right now. It can be either a great time of the year or a truly grim time. And this year much, much more so. Shortest day on the 6th or 8th Dec I think? I’m holding out for that and then clawing back to more daylight day by day.

[CropleyWasGod]

Thinking of everyone who is struggling right now. It can be either a great time of the year or a truly grim time. And this year much, much more so. Shortest day on the 6th or 8th Dec I think? I’m holding out for that and then clawing back to more daylight day by day.

You'll need a couple of weeks more. It's the 21st :greengrin

It's a fair point, though. In recent years, I have looked forward to the Solstice more than Christmas. For me, it's the real celebration.

[stu in nottingham]

Thinking of everyone who is struggling right now. It can be either a great time of the year or a truly grim time. And this year much, much more so. Shortest day on the 6th or 8th Dec I think? I’m holding out for that and then clawing back to more daylight day by day.

The shortest day falls on 21st December.

Just a friendly suggestion, maybe try to think of those darker nights in a different way? I wonder if it would actually make it harder for you counting the days back in that way? Having a a little bit more acceptance of the darker nights, whilst sometimes difficult I know, might just be a bit more bearable/enjoyable than wishing the days and nights away.

The type of thing I'm meaning has lots of really good examples on the 'Autumn' thread where people talked about warm, cosy homes, warming winter dinners and the like. We have our football too.

At the end of this there is clear daylight imho. The more we yearn for that outcome that's on its way, the longer it may feel for it to come along. It's a little like standing watching and waiting on a kettle boiling.

[Tambo]

where are you mate? May be someone on here knows the area and of full time jobs.

It’s a horrible tough time, people are always here to talk, vent to, lean on

I'm from corby town which is full of fake huns and Tim's, I was just feeling down but would never end my life for my mums sake and would miss hibs to much but thanks anyway.

What a crap 2020 for everyone.

[Jones28]

I was having a really ***** day today. Loads of hassle at work which put me in a real stinking mood for the rest of the day. I snapped at my wife and found the wee one very difficult to deal with.

After she was in bed I did some weights and it’s like a cloud has lifted in my head.

I’m not pretending that me having a bad day is anything compared to what others are going through, but to me it showed me how important exercise is to my mental state, and I hope it helps others make wee changes that help them.

[stoneyburn hibs]

The shortest day falls on 21st December.

Just a friendly suggestion, maybe try to think of those darker nights in a different way? I wonder if it would actually make it harder for you counting the days back in that way? Having a a little bit more acceptance of the darker nights, whilst sometimes difficult I know, might just be a bit more bearable/enjoyable than wishing the days and nights away.

The type of thing I'm meaning has lots of really good examples on the 'Autumn' thread where people talked about warm, cosy homes, warming winter dinners and the like. We have our football too.

At the end of this there is clear daylight imho. The more we yearn for that outcome that's on its way, the longer it may feel for it to come along. It's a little like standing watching and waiting on a kettle boiling.

Great words Stuart, as always.
I dont suffer from depression but definitely anxiety, even though it took me a while to realise it.
I manage it, I think I have it from some sort of subservience in my head, weird I know .
Anyway, I'll probably speak for every other person.

Bring on the winter solstice!

[stu in nottingham]

There have been a few comments about how to talk to people in distress and be a good listener on the thread from time to time. I think people often have a genuine fear of saying the 'wrong' thing or simply not knowing what to say.

I liked some of the things listed in this article on the BBC site today. In particular, I like the fact that's it's very accessible advice for a layperson, you don't have to be a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist or any kind of professional to practice these things well.

How to be a good listener when someone opens up
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/ztfkbqt

Active listening techniques and reflecting people's words and thoughts are mentioned and very useful. There's also a bit about using technology for this purpose. Something that many of us are having to increasingly carry out these days.

[Mibbes Aye]

There have been a few comments about how to talk to people in distress and be a good listener on the thread from time to time. I think people often have a genuine fear of saying the 'wrong' thing or simply not knowing what to say.

I liked some of the things listed in this article on the BBC site today. In particular, I like the fact that's it's very accessible advice for a layperson, you don't have to be a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist or any kind of professional to practice these things well.

How to be a good listener when someone opens up
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/ztfkbqt

Active listening techniques and reflecting people's words and thoughts are mentioned and very useful. There's also a bit about using technology for this purpose. Something that many of us are having to increasingly carry out these days.

Good link.

The critical things for me are not offering advice. Not offering advice. Listening and asking open questions, not closed questions. Not being judgemental. Not being afraid to ask open questions about difficult issues, like suicidal thoughts. Reflecting back what you hear.

Most of all, the biggest thing is someone feeling that someone is there and actually listening or reading. Whether that is a thread like this or Samaritans, that is crucial.

[B.H.F.C]

I was having a really ***** day today. Loads of hassle at work which put me in a real stinking mood for the rest of the day. I snapped at my wife and found the wee one very difficult to deal with.

After she was in bed I did some weights and it’s like a cloud has lifted in my head.

I’m not pretending that me having a bad day is anything compared to what others are going through, but to me it showed me how important exercise is to my mental state, and I hope it helps others make wee changes that help them.

Exercise is what has kept me going this year.

My diet isn't great so I don’t look particularly different. But I feel a hell of a lot fitter than I did at the start of the year.

Think having a bit of competition (with myself) has helped keep the stresses of this year away from the front of my mind. Whether it’s running a certain distance faster or lifting something heavier, it’s definitely kept me on the straight and narrow.

[high bee]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

[Jones28]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

You’ve taken the first steps with this post mate, only friends here. Lots of people would advise speaking to someone about doing some cognitive behavioural therapy.

The first step is talking, well done 👍🏻

[McD]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.


no need to apologise buddy, if there’s anywhere you can feel that a personal post will be safe, it’s this thread.

I hope that even the act of posting has helped a bit, and I would encourage you to talk, whether that’s to your wife, to a friend, family member, a service or even on here, it will help further.

[Hibernia&Alba]

I am close to the end, no full time jobs done here and agency treat you like ****, get rid of you whenever they feel like it.

Back to unemployment.

The toll unregulated capitalism takes upon individuals is very difficult to quantify, but it's clearly a massive issue. Millions of people in the UK alone are unprotected and feel isolated and worthless in the neoliberal economy. Keeping a large proportion of the population in constant fear and worry about making ends meet isn't just cruel but also counter-productive, for it wastes so much talent to the benefit short-sighted goals. We need an economic system which allows, as far as is achievable, each person to fulfil their potential whilst making a meaningful contribution to the greater good. We need to end the relentless pursuit of the bottom line for benefit of the minority at the expense of the aspirations of the majority. This requires economic democracy, so that everyone is involved in the decision making processes of what they produce. Political democracy without economic democracy is empty; the two go together.

[SteveHFC]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

Hi mate,

I've been through the same. I used to google everything that appeared in my mind constantly daily and it made me feel like a different person and make up different scenarios in my mind like I was this person or that person. One thing i do is write things down on my notes app on my iPhone whether I need to do something or check something then tick each thing off one by one. After I have ticked off that something I can move on and focus on the next thing I need to do/check.

[lord bunberry]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.
Of all the posts on this thread this most describes my feelings. I found that being stuck in a rut made those feelings so much worse. The constant going over the worst case scenario in my mind was horrible. Sometimes you just need a change to make yourself feel better, it was hard for me to make that change but I’ve never looked back. Just remember you’re not alone in this fight, there’s plenty crazy hibees to help you when it matters.

[Scorrie]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

Firstly no apology needed. The beauty of this thread is the people on it. Severe or chronic anxiety is pretty awful, I know from personal experience. A couple of things do help. Writing things down that are causing the thoughts can help and then revisit to see if the worst did happen. Also write down the good things as well. Sometimes I find that helps “rationalise” things. Secondly, if you can take lots of exercise. That helps “switch” off and breaks the thought patterns and you feel better after. Thirdly, I found alcohol bad for this. Finally remember to be kind to yourself. Self compassion is hugely important, treat yourself as you would a close friend or family member who was going through it. We are all going through extraordinary times, the full impact of which we probably don’t fully know yet, so take it easy on yourself if you can.

[high bee]

Thanks everyone, will try all the things suggested. I have spent a long time meaning to do something about this but just allowed myself to keep suffering.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Thanks everyone, will try all the things suggested. I have spent a long time meaning to do something about this but just allowed myself to keep suffering.

Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule is a great tactic. It’s about being bold, courageous and basically just getting things done without worrying or talking yourself out of it.

[Jones28]

Thanks everyone, will try all the things suggested. I have spent a long time meaning to do something about this but just allowed myself to keep suffering.

Small steps mate, I hope you find a way out of this. :aok:

[DaveF]

The parrafin lamp pub in Livingston - which is a good boozer but often gets a bad press - are doing free meals on Christmas Day for anyone struggling to feed the family or at simply alone and lonely.

Still have some spaces. It's on their Facebook page.

Nice touch by them.

[stu in nottingham]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

Hi high bee, good for you for getting this off your chest, I hope that's helped a little bit just to unload. I'll echo others' sentiments in that I believe it's a good and supportive place to do that.

Firstly to say, I wouldn't presume to diagnose what your problem is here but I wonder if i could offer a few words of info and advise? I get the feeling that you're maybe a little bewildered about these behavioural things you describe and I can understand that, they probably don't seem to make any sense to you. For me though, I think they sound very much like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)..

OCD is one of several forms of anxiety disorders such as Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Specific Phobias, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and so on. It's sometimes characterised by people feeling stigma and shame from it with the consequence that they struggle to open up about it and get help.

It is very treatable is the good news. Things that can help are any of, or a combination of counselling, medication such as SSRI (family of anti-depressents), Anxiety disorder support groups and a bit of self-help. For the latter we're talking about exercise, monitoring alcohol, stress relieving activities and spending quality time with family or friends, (possibly difficult I know at the moment).

The first thing to do is talk to your GP. Apart from any direct support he is able to give you think about the GP as a gate-keeper to obtaining further help that might help you such as a referral to counselling. I find that Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be a good 'fit' for this type of disorder and anxiety orders in general.

I hope that all helps a bit. Just one more point, you mention not seeking help because you 'worry about the repercussions'. I just wondered what you might think these repercussions might be? It's important to know that your treatment will be treated confidentially between you and your GP/therapist. Could you enlighten me if there's anything else that I might be able to allay your fears about in that regard?

Some further info about OCD
https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/obsessive-compulsive-disorder

Good luck!

[Dalianwanda]

The parrafin lamp pub in Livingston - which is a good boozer but often gets a bad press - are doing free meals on Christmas Day for anyone struggling to feed the family or at simply alone and lonely.

Still have some spaces. It's on their Facebook page.

Nice touch by them.

That’s wonderful

[Carheenlea]

I subscribe to a newsletter penned by Sam Delaney, a podcaster who co-hosts Top Flight Time Machine. I`ve not had the need to seek guidance on mental health before, nor have I read this thread, but I`m aware of this threads presence and the help, comfort and advice many appear to gain from it. Not sure if this is appropriate content or not, and Delaney might not be everyones cup of tea, but might be of interest to some who can identify with it and may like to subscribe for the regular emails. Basically he describes it as such - " This letter shares advice, tips and personal experiences on mental illness, addiction, recovery, anxiety and generally resetting your demons. It also shares fun tips on enjoying life too."

The latest newsletter - https://samdelaney.substack.com/p/the-day-i-arranged-to-fight-a-stranger?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&utm_source=copy


As I said, I`m not a contributer to this thread but just thought this might be worth sharing.

[matty_f]

I subscribe to a newsletter penned by Sam Delaney, a podcaster who co-hosts Top Flight Time Machine. I`ve not had the need to seek guidance on mental health before, nor have I read this thread, but I`m aware of this threads presence and the help, comfort and advice many appear to gain from it. Not sure if this is appropriate content or not, and Delaney might not be everyones cup of tea, but might be of interest to some who can identify with it and may like to subscribe for the regular emails. Basically he describes it as such - " This letter shares advice, tips and personal experiences on mental illness, addiction, recovery, anxiety and generally resetting your demons. It also shares fun tips on enjoying life too."

The latest newsletter - https://samdelaney.substack.com/p/the-day-i-arranged-to-fight-a-stranger?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&utm_source=copy


As I said, I`m not a contributer to this thread but just thought this might be worth sharing.

I subscribe to that as well, it’s excellent - great recommendation.

[CMurdoch]

I subscribe to a newsletter penned by Sam Delaney, a podcaster who co-hosts Top Flight Time Machine. I`ve not had the need to seek guidance on mental health before, nor have I read this thread, but I`m aware of this threads presence and the help, comfort and advice many appear to gain from it. Not sure if this is appropriate content or not, and Delaney might not be everyones cup of tea, but might be of interest to some who can identify with it and may like to subscribe for the regular emails. Basically he describes it as such - " This letter shares advice, tips and personal experiences on mental illness, addiction, recovery, anxiety and generally resetting your demons. It also shares fun tips on enjoying life too."

The latest newsletter - https://samdelaney.substack.com/p/the-day-i-arranged-to-fight-a-stranger?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&utm_source=copy


As I said, I`m not a contributer to this thread but just thought this might be worth sharing.

That is a good read. Thanks for sharing.

[PaulSmith]

I think today’s announcement, even though its not as bad as I feared, will sadly tip a lot of teenagers and young adults into a severe depression with some terrifying consequences.

[PaulSmith]

Just following up that it appears that today two young men in Edinburghhave sadly decided they just can’t take any more.

[matty_f]

Just following up that it appears that today two young men in Edinburghhave sadly decided they just can’t take any more.

That’s tragic, is there anything to link the two deaths to the extended lockdown decision?

[PaulSmith]

That’s tragic, is there anything to link the two deaths to the extended lockdown decision?

Do you think lockdown with no social release valve helps when your as low as it goes?

That’s sadly four young men in the space of four days, it’s absolutely tragic.

[matty_f]

Do you think lockdown with no social release valve helps when your as low as it goes?

That’s sadly four young men in the space of four days, it’s absolutely tragic.

I don’t think it helps at all, but i would be reluctant to put 2 and 2 together to link them in these specific cases without some knowledge of them.

It may very well be that was the tipping point, but it could be any number of reasons and it’s probably not appropriate to speculate.

I hold my hands up and say i don’t know anything about the deaths other than to say that they’re tragic, my question wasn’t meant to be arsey so i apologise if that’s how it came across, i was genuinely curious if there was a known link to lockdown that caused it out of that was just speculation.

[judas]

I'd just like to say how much I appreciate this thread.

Simply knowing that there are other people who suffer from anxiety and depression is, in my view a great support.

I read this thread a lot but rarely contribute.

Has anyone read about or tried open / cold water swimming? If not, there is evidence that it may be helpful for some.

[Dalianwanda]

I'd just like to say how much I appreciate this thread.

Simply knowing that there are other people who suffer from anxiety and depression is, in my view a great support.

I read this thread a lot but rarely contribute.

Has anyone read about or tried open / cold water swimming? If not, there is evidence that it may be helpful for some.

I dip 2 or 3 times a week but I just go in to meditate and feel the buzz of endorphins..Ive been doing it for a couple of years now but prefer going in now because at this time of your rather than summer as no one expects you to have to actually swim. So I get the bump of endorphins kicking into action & I get the chance to focus the mind and stop fighting back on the shock. Its been shown to stimulate the vegus nerve which helps with relaxation.

Ive friends who do it for mental health benefits and it has made a massive difference to their lives. The danger with attaching welling to any external thing is that if that thing isnt available any more (certainly this is the case for so many during lockdown)..That perceived happy place is no longer there which isnt true.

I certainly recommend it but I would ease into it. Start of with cold showers and increase you tolerence..If you do go it a go 100% do it with someone else, even if your not swimming just dipping

Wim Hoffs new book has plenty of info (IVe not read it but I have done his foundation course & have been following the breathwork, press ups & cold showers for a couple of years)..Heres a link to his page https://www.wimhofmethod.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation

[stu in nottingham]

I don’t think it helps at all, but i would be reluctant to put 2 and 2 together to link them in these specific cases without some knowledge of them.

It may very well be that was the tipping point, but it could be any number of reasons and it’s probably not appropriate to speculate.


I think that's right. When my partner died from suicide the story was in the media. Below one report, the comments section had people pontificating on the reasons for her death, mainly about the political climate contributing to the incident. It was nothing about that and everything to do with her mental health. It didn't particularly bother me but it doesn't feel very sensitive.

I'm sorry to hear about the four deaths in Edinburgh. Similar happened here just before Christmas with four deaths in four days. There's a lot being said about support for people with mental health problems coinciding with the pandemic. Far less actually being done about it though sadly.

[PaulSmith]

I'd just like to say how much I appreciate this thread.

Simply knowing that there are other people who suffer from anxiety and depression is, in my view a great support.

I read this thread a lot but rarely contribute.

Has anyone read about or tried open / cold water swimming? If not, there is evidence that it may be helpful for some.

It does help enormously. I’ve had to make some adjustments to my own circumstances recently as I recognise the signs having seen close friends take the ultimate decision not to continue which forced me into privately reading up on as much as I can on mental health.

Our work has been fantastic with some inspirational guest speakers and the leadership team has been amazing.

Having seen the collateral damage caused by suicide, I’m as certain as I can be, that I’d never join my old mucker for a pint until nature takes its course. So the very few on here that do know me personally don’t need to worry..

Being brutally honest this site itself can be respite or hell.. hence why recently I tried (and failed) to remind posters that there’s a human at the end of every fake user name. Debate is great and I love it as much as anyone but pathetically I let it get to me when it became a little personal (which is the pathetic part as here’s me using a moniker!) That’s not a dig at anyone but I try my best these days to read things back and question if I’m debating or baiting.

Ive always worked as hard as I could to strive to provide better for my family and to play as hard as I can. That latter element has been gone now for almost a year. I know I’m not alone in what I’m saying and I’m thankful that I still have employment.. god only knows what I’d be like without that.

So I’d say keep reading positive stuff (Ant Middleton’s book on resilience was brilliant for me), confide in people, open up and be yourself as your likely to be great.

[matty_f]

It does help enormously. I’ve had to make some adjustments to my own circumstances recently as I recognise the signs having seen close friends take the ultimate decision not to continue which forced me into privately reading up on as much as I can on mental health.

Our work has been fantastic with some inspirational guest speakers and the leadership team has been amazing.

Having seen the collateral damage caused by suicide, I’m as certain as I can be, that I’d never join my old mucker for a pint until nature takes its course. So the very few on here that do know me personally don’t need to worry..

Being brutally honest this site itself can be respite or hell.. hence why recently I tried (and failed) to remind posters that there’s a human at the end of every fake user name. Debate is great and I love it as much as anyone but pathetically I let it get to me when it became a little personal (which is the pathetic part as here’s me using a moniker!) That’s not a dig at anyone but I try my best these days to read things back and question if I’m debating or baiting.

Ive always worked as hard as I could to strive to provide better for my family and to play as hard as I can. That latter element has been gone now for almost a year. I know I’m not alone in what I’m saying and I’m thankful that I still have employment.. god only knows what I’d be like without that.

So I’d say keep reading positive stuff (Ant Middleton’s book on resilience was brilliant for me), confide in people, open up and be yourself as your likely to be great.

Good post. :agree:

[HH81]

I had a friend who committed suicide a few weeks back.

My nan died about an hour before I was told my mate and the lad who phoned me to tell me had also lost a baby.

Bit of a shocker of a day that. 2020 was worst ever with catching covid too.

I seem to be holding up quite well considering. If anyone needs a chat message me.

[judas]

I dip 2 or 3 times a week but I just go in to meditate and feel the buzz of endorphins..Ive been doing it for a couple of years now but prefer going in now because at this time of your rather than summer as no one expects you to have to actually swim. So I get the bump of endorphins kicking into action & I get the chance to focus the mind and stop fighting back on the shock. Its been shown to stimulate the vegus nerve which helps with relaxation.

Ive friends who do it for mental health benefits and it has made a massive difference to their lives. The danger with attaching welling to any external thing is that if that thing isnt available any more (certainly this is the case for so many during lockdown)..That perceived happy place is no longer there which isnt true.

I certainly recommend it but I would ease into it. Start of with cold showers and increase you tolerence..If you do go it a go 100% do it with someone else, even if your not swimming just dipping

Wim Hoffs new book has plenty of info (IVe not read it but I have done his foundation course & have been following the breathwork, press ups & cold showers for a couple of years)..Heres a link to his page https://www.wimhofmethod.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation

This is terrific Dalianwanda and I really appreciate the advice. You anticipated some of my questions which is great and I will certainly follow up on the book.

[Hibernia&Alba]

I had a friend who committed suicide a few weeks back.

My nan died about an hour before I was told my mate and the lad who phoned me to tell me had also lost a baby.

Bit of a shocker of a day that. 2020 was worst ever with catching covid too.

I seem to be holding up quite well considering. If anyone needs a chat message me.

I'm glad you're doing as well as possible. It's strange how these things can happen in clusters in a tragic coincidence. You experienced a lot in a short space of time.

[Dalianwanda]

This is terrific Dalianwanda and I really appreciate the advice. You anticipated some of my questions which is great and I will certainly follow up on the book.

No worries, i forgot to mention getting in with others can be a pretty good laugh. Not taking yourself to seriously is part of he appeal :-)

[Coco Bryce]

I've been listening to Wim Hof podcasts & audio books for about a year now. Fantastic, such a positive guy!

Have a cold shower every morning for about 15mins. Totally invigorates you and strangely raises your mood for the day ahead.

Sadly I still haven't plucked up the courage to get into the sea yet.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

I've been listening to Wim Hof podcasts & audio books for about a year now. Fantastic, such a positive guy!

Have a cold shower every morning for about 15mins. Totally invigorates you and strangely raises your mood for the day ahead.

Sadly I still haven't plucked up the courage to get into the sea yet.

I’ve tried the cold shower thing and it’s horrific. It actually puts me in a bad mood because I’m voluntarily making myself cold and uncomfortable 😂

[Coco Bryce]

I’ve tried the cold shower thing and it’s horrific. It actually puts me in a bad mood because I’m voluntarily making myself cold and uncomfortable 😂

You do get used to them...honest :greengrin

[Dalianwanda]

I’ve tried the cold shower thing and it’s horrific. It actually puts me in a bad mood because I’m voluntarily making myself cold and uncomfortable 😂

Maybe your water wasn’t cold enough :-)
That’s part of it. Teaching yourself not to react and all the mind to add labels :-) I only do 5mins cold shower, i think 2mins provides the health benefits, more than that is just about allowing and endurance.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

A few bodies in the water at Porty this afternoon, no thanks! 😲

[Pedantic_Hibee]

A few bodies in the water at Porty this afternoon, no thanks! 😲

Matty_f been out slaying again I take it? Jail is too good for that monster.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Matty_f been out slaying again I take it? Jail is too good for that monster.

He's gonna need a bigger boat!

[whereswallace?]

Evening all, I thought I’d share something I posted on my Facebook early last week after a few tragic incidents pretty close to home recently.

Today was the first walk and around 20 people joined me, socially distanced, and it seemed to be exactly what a few of them needed.

I hadn’t realised this post was in here so thought I’d share it here incase it touches anything in anybody who may need it. I will be doing it every Sunday. I know some may say it’s against current rules but it can be done keeping to them and I just feel it’s better than doing nothing.


* Wow this has got so much attention. Please note this is on Sunday at 10am*

This week I’ve read about two (sadly 3 the day after this post) young men from
Edinburgh who have tragically taken their own lives, leaving behind them so much pain and misery for family and friends.

This whole Covid/lockdown situation is really impacting people who may already have been struggling. The constant doom and gloom in the news and social media every day must surely be taking its toll.

I’ve shared numerous posts encouraging men in particular to speak out if they are struggling and i again encourage anybody no matter age or gender to please talk to someone if things get too much. My messages are always open, I may not be an expert but I promise to listen and not judge.

In my role as a football manager, I’ve spoken to many young men with troubles and try to help and understand as best I can. Please believe me, I’ve been there myself. I struggle too and I’m probably the worlds worst for bottling things up but I’m not too proud to admit it now if it helps somebody else.

I want to do something about this because it genuinely worries me.

There’s not a lot I can do but starting this Sunday morning, I want to keep it simple and just go out for a walk , socially distanced of course, and get out the house and take some fresh air in and clear the head.

This is an open invite to anybody who may be struggling, who has struggled or simply could do with the company and exercise for an hour or two! I’ll be there on my own anyway so it would be good to have some company.

You don’t even have to know me, we don’t have to be friends. you don’t even have to speak about anything, put the earphones in and zone out as we take a stroll but please don’t be shy in just coming along if you need to. There won’t be any social media pics or anything like that.

Nobody will ask any questions or judge. Let’s just go for a wee walk to clear the head and show some support for each other.

Please share this status and encourage people to come along if you think they need it, come
Along if you need it. Bring the dog, bring the bairn in a buggy if you have to but let’s get out and spend a wee bit time clearing the head and seeing that everything isn’t bad and more importantly that you are not alone. There are people that care, you might not even know them yet!

Let’s go for this week 10am, Sunday.
Starting at Gypsy Brae, Granton and walk along to Cramond and back. Probably take about an hour.

If you’re not sure where it is or have any questions at all please private message me.

Get sharing please 💚🤝

[PaulSmith]

Great initiative.💚

[Peevemor]

This looks like it should be interesting - I know one of the guys and he's really sound.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/whats-on/arts-and-entertainment/scottish-musicians-reveal-mental-health-struggles-powerful-new-film-3091401

Scottish musicians reveal mental health struggles for powerful new film
Leading Scottish musicians are to go public with their mental health struggles in a powerful new film being launched this week.


Pipers, fiddlers, singers and composers recall how their lives and careers have been blighted by anxiety, depression, alcoholism, anorexia and suicide attempts.


The hour-long BBC Alba film, which is broadcast at 9pm on Tuesday, features some of the best-known performers at Glasgow's Celtic Connections festival, which launches a series of online concerts on Friday.


The musicians are interviewed by Mischa Macpherson, one of Scotland’s leading Gaelic singers, who discusses her own difficulties in the documentary, which examines why so many musicians suffer problems.


The film, Ceol is Cradh, explores the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of performers, who have no idea when they will be able to play for audiences.


It unites a group of musicians for the first time since the events industry was forced to shut down.


Speaking in the documentary, Lewis-born Macpherson, a former Gaelic singer of the year in Scotland, says: “From a young age, I’ve struggled with perfectionism.


"Even when my parents or teachers were happy with what I’d done, I wasn’t. I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself and often I’d become distressed thinking that neither I, nor what I was doing, were good enough.


"To the present day this is still a massive part of my life and I know that it’s holding me back. I’ve never made an album because of the fear and anxiety that it wouldn’t be good enough.”


Perthshire piper Ross Ainslie, who performs with Dougie MacLean, Salsa Celtic and Treacherous Orchestra, recalls giving up alcohol seven years ago after drinking heavily to try to deal with depression.


He says: “When you have depressive thoughts, you can hide it with substances or whatever, but then you’ve got to deal with the aftermath. That can be quite dangerous.


"Very quickly, years can go past and you’re on a slow kind of decline. When you get to the point where you’re so low or too deep, that’s when you’re in trouble. The shame or embarrassment is too much to get yourself out of it. There are loads of periods of my life when I don’t have a clue about what happened.”


Laura Wilkie, who plays with award-winning band Kinnaris Quintet, took a year out of studying in Glasgow and sought specialist help for anorexia.


She said: “It was difficult and scary. I knew I was going to have to do things I didn’t want to do, like eating food on a regular basis, not being allowed to exercise, being monitored all the time, having to talk about my feelings in front of peers and in group therapy. It really did help.


"The whole experience did actually make me better and I feel really lucky that I was able to do that.”


Highland fiddler Chloe Bryce, a recent graduate of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow, suffered regularly from anxiety.
She said: “It’s about expecting too much from myself. During the most difficult time I’ve experienced so far, I wasn’t able to sleep at all and I was still trying to continue with uni and attend rehearsals and gigs.


"I stopped drinking for six months because I felt I couldn’t control my thought processes.”

[Scorrie]

Thanks for posting this. It looks really helpful. As someone who suffers a lot with anxiety ( particularly about expecting too much from myself and the fear of failure), there’s messages here that resonate. Also reducing / stopping alcohol as well has been essential. Will defo watch this

[Peevemor]

This looks like it should be interesting - I know one of the guys and he's really sound.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/whats-on/arts-and-entertainment/scottish-musicians-reveal-mental-health-struggles-powerful-new-film-3091401

Scottish musicians reveal mental health struggles for powerful new film
Leading Scottish musicians are to go public with their mental health struggles in a powerful new film being launched this week.


Pipers, fiddlers, singers and composers recall how their lives and careers have been blighted by anxiety, depression, alcoholism, anorexia and suicide attempts.


The hour-long BBC Alba film, which is broadcast at 9pm on Tuesday, features some of the best-known performers at Glasgow's Celtic Connections festival, which launches a series of online concerts on Friday.


The musicians are interviewed by Mischa Macpherson, one of Scotland’s leading Gaelic singers, who discusses her own difficulties in the documentary, which examines why so many musicians suffer problems.


The film, Ceol is Cradh, explores the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of performers, who have no idea when they will be able to play for audiences.


It unites a group of musicians for the first time since the events industry was forced to shut down.


Speaking in the documentary, Lewis-born Macpherson, a former Gaelic singer of the year in Scotland, says: “From a young age, I’ve struggled with perfectionism.


"Even when my parents or teachers were happy with what I’d done, I wasn’t. I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself and often I’d become distressed thinking that neither I, nor what I was doing, were good enough.


"To the present day this is still a massive part of my life and I know that it’s holding me back. I’ve never made an album because of the fear and anxiety that it wouldn’t be good enough.”


Perthshire piper Ross Ainslie, who performs with Dougie MacLean, Salsa Celtic and Treacherous Orchestra, recalls giving up alcohol seven years ago after drinking heavily to try to deal with depression.


He says: “When you have depressive thoughts, you can hide it with substances or whatever, but then you’ve got to deal with the aftermath. That can be quite dangerous.


"Very quickly, years can go past and you’re on a slow kind of decline. When you get to the point where you’re so low or too deep, that’s when you’re in trouble. The shame or embarrassment is too much to get yourself out of it. There are loads of periods of my life when I don’t have a clue about what happened.”


Laura Wilkie, who plays with award-winning band Kinnaris Quintet, took a year out of studying in Glasgow and sought specialist help for anorexia.


She said: “It was difficult and scary. I knew I was going to have to do things I didn’t want to do, like eating food on a regular basis, not being allowed to exercise, being monitored all the time, having to talk about my feelings in front of peers and in group therapy. It really did help.


"The whole experience did actually make me better and I feel really lucky that I was able to do that.”


Highland fiddler Chloe Bryce, a recent graduate of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow, suffered regularly from anxiety.
She said: “It’s about expecting too much from myself. During the most difficult time I’ve experienced so far, I wasn’t able to sleep at all and I was still trying to continue with uni and attend rehearsals and gigs.


"I stopped drinking for six months because I felt I couldn’t control my thought processes.”Bump

[PaulSmith]

I know it’s a small thing when taken in context but what a lift you get when Hibs win.

[Scorrie]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

[stoneyburn hibs]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Sorry for your loss mate.
RIP WPJ

[Sylar]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Aw, Scorrie, I'm so sorry to read that - I never met him but engaged with him a lot on here and always enjoyed reading his posts and insights. We PM'd a few times last year and I was glad to see he seemed to be in a bit of a better place there for a while.

Deepest condolences to you and your family, and he'll be sorely missed on here.

[McD]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful



heartbroken for you mate, my condolences to you and your family

[Peevemor]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpfulThat's terrible news. For what it's worth I enjoyed his posts on here.

RIP WPJ with thoughts for his family & friends.

[stu in nottingham]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

I am just shocked and saddened at your news Scorrie and my heart aches to hear it.

I am so very sorry for your loss, please accept my sincere condolences. If you ever need a chat or a wee bit of support you know where I am. God bless your brother and your family.

[Hiber-nation]

So sorry to hear about WPJ.

[Pretty Boy]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Truly saddened to read this, so sorry for your loss.

RIP WPJ.

[bigwheel]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Really enjoyed wpj’s posts and views over many years....

He obviously was fighting a really challenging health battle in recent times . Hope he is at peace now...#respect #RIP


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[EskbankHibby]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Really sorry to read this, sincere condolences to you and your family.

RIP WPJ

[One Day Soon]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

That’s hard news. So sorry to hear it.

[Jones28]

Very sad to hear, RIP WPJ

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful


Sorry to hear that mate. Keep your chin up, these are tough times.

[Scouse Hibee]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Sorry for your loss mate.

[Scorrie]

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes. Very much appreciated by me and the family

[JimBHibees]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Sorry for your tragic loss. Your brother was an excellent contributor to this site. RIP WPJ.

[CMurdoch]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Sorry for your loss Scorrie.
Folk on here do care about each other and your brothers passing is sobering and sad news.
RIP WPJ, your health issues are now behind you.

[matty_f]

Scorrie, I can only echo the posts above - deepest condolences to you and your family.

[Hibernia&Alba]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Only just caught up with this thread after quite a while and would like to add my condolences. I remember his posts well and didn't know he had passed. I hope you and the family are doing well.

[lord bunberry]

Only just caught up with this thread after quite a while and would like to add my condolences. I remember his posts well and didn't know he had passed. I hope you and the family are doing well.
Me as well. Really sorry to hear that, and I echo the sentiments of other posters. RIP. I feel quite selfish that I have only been looking at this thread when in need of support. Fwiw that will change.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

See Tam McManus has tweeted to reach out to a Well fan that sounds like he’s in a tough spot. Lots of people contacting him hope it turns out Ok but the words looked quite final even left his phone passcode :/ it’s tough but there’s always someone that will be there to listen even in surprising places...

Update: happily Tam retweeted news that the Police had managed to locate and were supporting the young fella. Hopefully a good long term outcome for him.

[Hibernia&Alba]

Sad stuff. I like his banter with Ty in that clip.

Good advice from yourself HA.
Don't suffer in silence folks.

Thankfully, big Robbie on AFTV has said the rumours were wrong and Claude died of a massive heart attack. The fact it was natural causes that took him is at least a small comfort.

[LustForLeith]

It’s been a bit weird recently. Proper felt it last week and the worst thing is when you have no idea what causes it you can’t do anything about it. Proper struggled to see the point in anything. Feeling better yesterday and today but really mindful of r fact it crept up on me without warning.

Stick in there folks

[CMurdoch]

Thankfully, big Robbie on AFTV has said the rumours were wrong and Claude died of a massive heart attack. The fact it was natural causes that took him is at least a small comfort.

It will at least stop his friends from soul searching about what they might have done.

A couple of months ago a kid I didn't know took his own life in a park close to my house. A steady stream of adults and young people passed my house for weeks to lay floral tributes and stand in quiet contemplation.
It made a big impression on me and I think about the kid and his parents a lot. It brings me to tears that something so terrible happened so close to me and I was oblivious to it.

[stu in nottingham]

It will at least stop his friends from soul searching about what they might have done.

A couple of months ago a kid I didn't know took his own life in a park close to my house. A steady stream of adults and young people passed my house for weeks to lay floral tributes and stand in quiet contemplation.
It made a big impression on me and I think about the kid and his parents a lot. It brings me to tears that something so terrible happened so close to me and I was oblivious to it.

All life lost in this way is sad but when it's a young life like that, particularly so. There seems so much living left to do doesn't there.

I think being close and 'connected' to it as you were CM by the proximity of it brings home how many other lives it affects That figure is more than we imagine. Research on it is comparitively sparse (and not always considered helpful) but in the 1970s it was thought that a figure of six people on average were affected in some way by a completed suicide.

Come up to date and that figure has been uprated to 135 people approximately, affected in some way by every loss of life to suicide.

The true expenditures of suicide are of course human and also intangible costs. Even in non-emotional financial terms though, the average cost to a country's economy are staggering. A US study a few years ago maintained that the average suicide costs $1.33m.

We must all stay vigilant - especially in these times of great hardship, illness and bereavement for so many. Keep loving and caring. I feel happy that those struggling have been able to show their courage in coming forward to ask for support on this wonderful thread. It's existence is truly is the best thing that ever happened on Hibs.net.

[CMurdoch]

All life lost in this way is sad but when it's a young life like that, particularly so. There seems so much living left to do doesn't there.

I think being close and 'connected' to it as you were CM by the proximity of it brings home how many other lives it affects That figure is more than we imagine. Research on it is comparitively sparse (and not always considered helpful) but in the 1970s it was thought that a figure of six people on average were affected in some way by a completed suicide.

Come up to date and that figure has been uprated to 135 people approximately, affected in some way by every loss of life to suicide.

The true expenditures of suicide are of course human and also intangible costs. Even in non-emotional financial terms though, the average cost to a country's economy are staggering. A US study a few years ago maintained that the average suicide costs $1.33m.

We must all stay vigilant - especially in these times of great hardship, illness and bereavement for so many. Keep loving and caring. I feel happy that those struggling have been able to show their courage in coming forward to ask for support on this wonderful thread and ask. It's existence is truly is the best thing that ever happened on Hibs.net.

As you say Stu, we need to always be open and vigilant.
You do great work on this thread which is a real credit to the site.
Sadly suicide is something that can't be put right so we all need to raise our awareness and sensitivity to the mental health of those around us.

On a happier note, I clicked on your blog and saw your tribute to Gregory Isaac. I have had a copy of his "Night Nurse" album for more than 35 years. A keeper!

[stu in nottingham]

As you say Stu, we need to always be open and vigilant.
You do great work on this thread which is a real credit to the site.
Sadly suicide is something that can't be put right so we all need to raise our awareness and sensitivity to the mental health of those around us.

On a happier note, I clicked on your blog and saw your tribute to Gregory Isaac. I have had a copy of his "Night Nurse" album for more than 35 years. A keeper!


Thanks for the view and the kind words CM. I find it really pleasing that there are so many on here who show kindness and offer support to those having a struggle, yourself included. It has managed to draw numerous people out to seek support.

Ah, Gregory Isaacs, what a great album Night Nurse is! I read recently that 'Extra Classic' is one Keith Richard's ten top tunes of all time and I understand why. As soon as I hear those opening notes and lines it brings a smile to my face and makes the world feel right. So mellow. The NHS should prescribe it daily!

[CropleyWasGod]

Nikki Grahame's death will hit some hard, particularly those who struggle with eating disorders.

For those who do, and for those who have loved ones in that situation:-

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/eating-problems/useful-contacts/

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/supporting-someone/supporting-somebody

[Dalianwanda]

Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Not been on this thread for a while and just reading your sad news now. I do remember a couple of messages with your brother, may he rest in peace.

[matty_f]

I get a lot of messages through Longbangers from people on the subject of mental health, and we thought it would be good to organise something to get folk together to talk of if they’re feeling low or struggling. We’re going to put on a Zoom call (not recorded or published) as a wee drop-in.

If you’d like to be a part of that - no judgement/no expectations, you can listen in or join in - PM me or DM @longbangers, and we’ll arrange it.

[CropleyWasGod]

This has been touched on before.

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-56745139

As it says, a small-scale study. But encouraging nonetheless.

Plants 1 Big Pharma 0 😉

[Itsnoteasy]

I get a lot of messages through Longbangers from people on the subject of mental health, and we thought it would be good to organise something to get folk together to talk of if they’re feeling low or struggling. We’re going to put on a Zoom call (not recorded or published) as a wee drop-in.

If you’d like to be a part of that - no judgement/no expectations, you can listen in or join in - PM me or DM @longbangers, and we’ll arrange it.

What a fantastic idea.

[matty_f]

What a fantastic idea.

Thanks - i can’t take the credit for it, it was John (co-host on the podcast) who brought it up but i thought it was a great idea as well.

[HH81]

Great idea.

I was anxious about going out again after getting covid really bad. First steps taken this weekend as had a few pints with mates I have not seen in year and a half.

Went smoothly and I feel good. Even got a bit of a suntan. I guess the worry was getting covid again more than anything. Feel so glad I went out now.

[stu in nottingham]

Sometimes I could despair, if I was the despairing type. :wink:

I don't work for the NHS but nevertheless, have to carry out much of the standard training that they offer. I'm just currently looking at some obligatory NHS e-learning regarding suicide interventions.

They begin by talking about 'suicide survivors and those those bereaved by suicide', showing they clearly do not understand what a 'suicide survivor' is (it's actually someone bereaved by suicide - not someone who has attempted suicide without completing it, as is implied here. It's quite an important distinction.


The next slide goes on to say that the average suicide affects 20 other lives. (Incorrect, it's actually far more, 135 lives.)

That's just after a couple of minutes' viewing.

It's a very important subject and one on a lot of people's lips these days. I'm a little taken aback that the NHS can put this kind of misinformation out about simple facts. Their slogan suggests 'Let's Talk'. I don't wish to sound churlish but just maybe, it's time we moved away from these seemingly endless and somewhat empty phrases and just had a bloody good talk about stuff properly. Just like people do on here.

I don't claim to be world's top expert on suicide but if anyone is in doubt about anything to do with the subject, including how to talk with someone contemplating suicide, please feel free to give me a wee shout. (If I don't know the answer I'll find out for you.)

[Dalianwanda]

It's a very important subject and one on a lot of people's lips these days. I'm a little taken aback that the NHS can put this kind of misinformation out about simple facts. Their slogan suggests 'Let's Talk'. I don't wish to sound churlish but just maybe, it's time we moved away from these seemingly endless and somewhat empty phrases and just had a bloody good talk about stuff properly. Just like people do on here.


It's so important that people know that option is out there. I was a Samaritan for a few years when I first moved out west. My background is coaching & specifically helping people see how their experience of life is created. I had to put all of that to the back burner though. Samaritans are there to question & listen, to give someone an outlet to tell their story. To know theres someone there willing to listen without judgement or agenda. Not there to change someones mind but to talk it through so they can see their thinking or just work things out by sharing. I was constantly amazed at how many people entered the call in despair & left feeling so much more at ease. Just by having the outlet, the space to chat things through.

[stu in nottingham]

It's so important that people know that option is out there. I was a Samaritan for a few years when I first moved out west. My background is coaching & specifically helping people see how their experience of life is created. I had to put all of that to the back burner though. Samaritans are there to question & listen, to give someone an outlet to tell their story. To know theres someone there willing to listen without judgement or agenda. Not there to change someones mind but to talk it through so they can see their thinking or just work things out by sharing. I was constantly amazed at how many people entered the call in despair & left feeling so much more at ease. Just by having the outlet, the space to chat things through.

Samaritans do such fine work, providing a wonderful service that I admire. How difficult it must have been doing that over the past year.

I encourage clients with suicide ideation to carry that number around in their wallet, purse or on their phone always.

Simply talking and unloading can achieve so much.

[Chorley Hibee]

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

[Santa Cruz]

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

It is the talk of things "returning to normal" is what is actually depressing me the most.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

I'm sorry to hear this, you have had a lot on your plate. I hope you have someone you can talk to about the way you are feeling just now. It's a cliché I hear often, but baby steps, a day at a time and don't put yourself under pressure to rush back to returning to normal until you feel the time is right for you.

[Hibernia&Alba]

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

I hope this thread can help you along, mate. It's been a tough time for everyone to some degree; for those with mental health conditions it's been very hard. It seems so long ago that life was as normal that this now feels like the new normal. Reach out wherever you can and do the usual things: exercise, regular sleep pattern, avoid booze. Get the basics in order and talk to someone you trust. If things don't change, see your GP.

[CMurdoch]

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

Sorry, just seen your post.
Good advice from Hibernian&Alba about keeping things basic.
Look after your medical conditions.
Force yourself to get out walking each day with the pram, get regular sleep and definitely keep off the alcohol.
You have a lot on your plate, so just get yourself through each hour and don't be wait too long to reach out to your GP for help.
Stay strong and let us know how you are getting on.

[TRC]

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

[stu in nottingham]

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

Hi TRC

Sorry to hear what you've been going through. I work in addiction and would be happy to give you a bit of support if that would help mate? You can write to me here in confidence and let me have your email address.

The first matter is the suicidal thoughts you're experiencing which need careful attention. It sounds like you've been through the ups and downs of the mental health system where you are based so excuse me giving you a little well-worn advice about consulting a GP. Monitoring that situation is the first important thing to do. When you talk to a GP try to make the distinction for yourself of whether these are general suicidal thoughts (wish I wasn't here/don't want to wake up tomorrow type feelings (which I am in no way trivialising) or if they have developed to the next stage of making actual plans to harm yourself. Consider the protective factors in your life too. I can imagine that your relationship with your son would present as one of those straight away.

Your words suggest that you have experienced problems with various addictions through the years since leaving school days. Often these many and varied addictions come from the very same place in our lives as a central source, say that of unhappiness, frustration or loneliness as examples. Addictions, whether they be substances, gambling, alcohol shopping or whatever, can be an attempt to self-medicate - to 'fix' our feelngs and tranquilise or numb the pain, discomfort or disatisfaction we are experiencing. We are attempting to modify our moods. Tolerance to the substance or activity inevitably builds, meaning that we need more and more of the substance or activity to have the same effect. These varous addictions are not about having an 'addictive personality' as people often say, the different addiction problems can be generated by the same source within us and so that is often the place to look to identify the problem. In this way we can treat not just the symptoms but importantly, the cause.

If it feels good, drop me a line and we can talk. Take care of yourself.

Stu

[Hibernia&Alba]

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

You've been through hell; your story is worrying to read. It's so difficult for anyone to give advice to someone in your situation without sounding glib, and I'm not even qualified to offer such advice. I just hope you find a way through your crisis. Please look for help wherever you can and keep fighting. I'm sure there are people who deeply care about you; reach out to someone, be it a relative, friend or mental health professional. You are not alone, no matter what. This is rock bottom; things can only improve. You can also chat on this thread as much as you like, if it provides any help.

[McD]

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more


mate, I dearly hope you return to this thread and see the responses. You’ve clearly had so much to deal with, Stu has offered his support already, I’m sure many on this thread would be happy to lend an ear if that would help you, including me.

your son will always be your son, he’s a great reason to keep searching for your path to finding a better place in your life. Please focus on him, the happiness I’m sure he brings you and just as importantly, the happiness you bring him

[stu in nottingham]

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

Hi Chorley

I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate to deal with. Great credit to you for persevering in tough circumstances.

There is no doubt that returning back to former routines and activities feels stressful for many. Those very words 'returning to normal' I believe, are causing great anxiety in many too.

Being at home has felt a grind at times, I can identify with your thoughts. There seem less highs and lows and life can become more predictable, mundane and 'samey'. Being in that 'safe' place reminds me of the way some people with depression withdraw from people and activities. It's a little like retreating into a cave where it feels safe. In reality it's one of the least safe places. The most safe place is to emerge from that cave and to engage with others and society in general. That may be need to be done in modest steps where possible.

What you say poses a couple of questions. Can you identify what actually feels depressing about returning to normal, as apart from, say, a general feeling?

In addition, what would the things be you used to have that helped you manage your depression and why would they not return?

I appreciate these things may be personal and you may not want to discuss them here. Feel free to drop me a pm if that helps, or alternatively, perhaps even just try asking yourself those questions so that you might have more clarity around these feelings.

I recall a story last summer that stuck in my mind which revolved around a guy from Glasgow who recounted a time when he went on a sabbatical retreat of some kind for a year on a mountain in India. Although almost completely isolated, he maintained that after a week or two he setled into his retreat quite comfortably. However, conversely, upon returning to Glasgow he found it extremely difficult to adapt back into the pace of life, the amount of people around him, the noise and so on (no cracks about Glasgow!) He related that a month later he was still struggling to adjust and adapt. This probably tells us that it's not a simple, straightforward task, certainly it's one we're not familar with.

All the best to you mate.

[Hibernia&Alba]

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

How are you doing, mate? Hope you are hanging in there.

Did Pontius Pilate come back? He was going through a hell of a time.

[TRC]

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

[GreenNWhiteArmy]

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

[Hibernia&Alba]

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

:top marks

Type away, mate, whenever you feel the need. You can only do your best, and, though you will have setbacks and tough days, the small steps add up. Be kind to yourself.

[Hibernia&Alba]

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

You haven't been given a medical diagnosis on your issue? Clearly there is a problem you need help with.

[Santa Cruz]

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

Have you been offered a referral to a Pain Clinic? They help with the phycological issues caused by chronic pain and assist with long term pain management suggestions such as hydro therapy which can be beneficial for some people.

[GreenNWhiteArmy]

You haven't been given a medical diagnosis on your issue? Clearly there is a problem you need help with.

Had the full works with blood tests over the years for thyroid, iron deficiency etc

I'm tired of going and saying the same thing over and over again (it's been almost 10 years) to the doctors

I fit the criteria for CFS but because it can't really be tested they've never diagnosed it.

Very frustrating

[CMurdoch]

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

Good to hear from you and it's positive that you are trying to make the situation better. Fight through one day at a time.

[patch1875]

Had the full works with blood tests over the years for thyroid, iron deficiency etc

I'm tired of going and saying the same thing over and over again (it's been almost 10 years) to the doctors

I fit the criteria for CFS but because it can't really be tested they've never diagnosed it.

Very frustrating


I had a few years of similar symptoms turned out I had a large gallstone and the gallbladder was packing in.

I knew I had one but it was always dismissed as the reason as I never had the usual gallbladder pain symptoms.

An instant difference when it was eventually removed, my mood had spiralled downwards for a long time as I couldn’t get any answers about how I felt and had convinced myself I had some undiagnosed cancer.

Good luck and keep pestering medics to get some answers.

[matty_f]

We’ve been running the mental health Zoom calls with longbangers for a few weeks now, our fourth call is this Friday. It’s open to everyone, if you feel you’d benefit from the support/companionship of a cracking group of guys, l’ll put the Zoom details up on Friday morning and you can join in complete confidence.

[Sylar]

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

[CropleyWasGod]

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.

Given that you are clearly taking steps to manage your mental health, I'd say you are less of a risk than someone who is undiagnosed and has suicidal tendencies. It smacks of the 80's and 90's when people who had HIV tests were reckoned to be high-risk.

I've never been declined for anything on account of my mental health. There will be other companies out there who want your money, so move on. :aok:

[Keith_M]

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.


That's disgraceful.

[stu in nottingham]

We’ve been running the mental health Zoom calls with longbangers for a few weeks now, our fourth call is this Friday. It’s open to everyone, if you feel you’d benefit from the support/companionship of a cracking group of guys, l’ll put the Zoom details up on Friday morning and you can join in complete confidence.

Your post was a month ago so I'm just wondering how it's all going Matty? I felt it was a fine idea when you talked about it previously and was happy to see it. I hope people are engaging and enjoying the benefit of talking, unloading and sharing thoughts.

I've personally never administered lots of group therapy but recognise some of the barriers to working in groups for some people. Similar could easily apply to your talking group (which I fully understand is different to therapy). I used to be in a position of referring people for group work and similar reservations would often occur from clients. Some felt guilt or shame due to their problems and so would find it difficult to talk to others in a group about them. Others would worry about their anonymity with the potential of people taking the chat inside the group outside of it. In practise, I never found this happened though, even with one or two higher profile individuals. For me, people are very compassionate towards each other in these situations and would not wish to hurt their fellow group members in any way, considering how they would feel with roles reversed.

I'd imagine there has been quite a few people presenting with depression and anxiety symptoms, considering what we have all been going through for some time and the uncertainty created. If ever there is anything you feel you could do with a wee bit of support regarding the sessions, you know where I am, anytime.

[CropleyWasGod]

On the subject of life insurance, here's a useful guide from Mind.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/insurance-cover-and-mental-health/challenges-to-getting-insurance-cover/

[Crunchie]

I've just been declined life insurance on the basis of having a mental health disorder (anxiety and mild depression - I'm on a minimal dose (5mg) of anti-depressants).

In what world is this not discrimination?

Avoid Aviva at all costs. Joke of a company.
My daughter worked in insurance and they were doing this more and more as the numbers for the condition rose.

Anxiety and mild depression covers a huge area which can lead to drug and or alcohol misuse and a higher risk of suicide, it's not ideal but you can understand their concerns, lock downs have contributed massively to a surge in cases.

They'll tend to decline if you're on medication no matter the dosage as you're seen as a higher risk of joining the above although they'll say they take each case on individual merit.

All the best bud and I hope you recover soon :aok:

[stu in nottingham]

My daughter worked in insurance and they were doing this more and more as the numbers for the condition rose.

Anxiety and mild depression covers a huge area which can lead to drug and or alcohol misuse and a higher risk of suicide, it's not ideal but you can understand their concerns, lock downs have contributed massively to a surge in cases.

They'll tend to decline if you're on medication no matter the dosage as you're seen as a higher risk of joining the above although they'll say they take each case on individual merit.

All the best bud and I hope you recover soon :aok:

Anxiety and depression tend to work independantly of alchol and substance abuse whilst one can exacerbate the other. This can work both ways around with the latter certainly increasing anxiety and depression.

It's important to say that lockdowns during and the pandemic in general have not reportedly increased suicide numbers, resulting from increased use of medication (or anything else).

There is a distinction in age groups for the prevalance of correlation between prescribed modern anti-depressants and suicide ideation and completed suicides. Not that , dare I say, the average insurance company would care to make it. From the quite sparse research it's seen that there is actually a general reduction in suicide rates in older groups in correlation with prescribed anti-depressants. Conversely, from the few randomised trials carried out, there appears some indication that the reverse can be the case with younger people. It remains though a highly contentious and controversial subject as to the general correlation between increased use of anti-depressants and suicide.

Yes, the insurance companies can descrimate in whatever way they choose it seems. It doesn't mean that science backs their reasons though.

Just for info, Crunchie and thanks for your interesting comments. It's a big big subject and I personally wouldn't want to see people who would benefit from prescribed drugs avoiding them. I'm not pro or anti-medication, just that people make an informed choice about it.

Not a recent study but informative nonetheless.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034101/

[Crunchie]

Anxiety and depression tend to work independantly of alchol and substance abuse whilst one can exacerbate the other. This can work both ways around with the latter certainly increasing anxiety and depression.

It's important to say that lockdowns during and the pandemic in general have not reportedly increased suicide numbers, resulting from increased use of medication (or anything else).

There is a distinction in age groups for the prevalance of correlation between prescribed modern anti-depressants and suicide ideation and completed suicides. Not that , dare I say, the average insurance company would care to make it. From the quite sparse research it's seen that there is actually a general reduction in suicide rates in older groups in correlation with prescribed anti-depressants. Conversely, from the few randomised trials carried out, there appears some indication that the reverse can be the case with younger people. It remains though a highly contentious and controversial subject as to the general correlation between increased use of anti-depressants and suicide.

Yes, the insurance companies can descrimate in whatever way they choose it seems. It doesn't mean that science backs their reasons though.

Just for info, Crunchie and thanks for your interesting comments. It's a big big subject and I personally wouldn't want to see people who would benefit from prescribed drugs avoiding them. I'm not pro or anti-medication, just that people make an informed choice about it.

Not a recent study but informative nonetheless.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034101/

A couple of interesting links on insurance cover here.

https://moneytothemasses.com/quick-savings/insurance-2/can-i-get-health-insurance-with-depression-anxiety-or-mental-illness


https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/19/people-with-mental-illnesses-refused-access-to-insurance-cover

[stu in nottingham]

No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?

[McD]

No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?


you've given some wonderful advice on here Stu, I’m sure I speak for others when I say that if we can do anything to help you, please reach out. You’ve been a source of calm, reasoned, non judgemental and positive support for many, I’m sure we’d all be keen to do the same for you if we can :aok:


as for me, been a funny few months. We had to get our dog put to sleep a few weeks ago, which was utterly heartbreaking, although the best decision for her given her health. Also been a rough few months with my daughter, a new game 4-5 times a week of waking up anytime between 11:30 and 4:30, and refusing to go back to sleep, so been a few zombie-like days.

On the positive side, I’ve just finished my 13th week in my new job, and really enjoying it. Firstly it’s been great having something tangible to get my teeth into that isn’t trawling job websites. It’s also been really good to feel like I’m able to bring something of value to others, and feel valued myself. My boss is great to work for, I feel like I’m making a difference in a company with positive and aspirational values and ethos, and the work is varied (if coming in thick and fast 😆). The bypass/traffic is a bit of a pain at times, but I’m taking the positives of getting a bit of alone time in the car to listen to an audiobook or podcast, and having some decent switch on/off time from work (previous commute was only a few minutes so didn’t really get that).

all in all feeling a good bit better in myself most of the time, still have a few wee dark moments, but trying to see the positives rather than dwelling if I can

[Lendo]

No additions in here for over a month and I'm hoping that is an encouraging sign?

Many of us are engaged in lifestyle changes once more, coming out of the various restrictions of the past. It's a task all of it's own I believe and one we're not particularly experienced in. Maybe others that were able to work from home will have been returning to their workplaces. I was informed that might be 'several months' yet by my new employers. That will be before returning to hybrid working as so many seem to be doing.

Feeling a bit low of late after an enforced change of employers 'TUPE' and having to leave a job I really loved that gave ample freedom to support and counsel people. I found that the simple thing of attending my first football match in 18 months was a real lift. I wondered how others are getting along?

I went through an incredibly low period in February through to May whilst going through redundancy at work. Stopped my my running and all socialising and went back on to medication. Thankfully things have worked out fine now and I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. Back to running and at the gym every day and it’s made a massive difference to my mental health.

[stu in nottingham]

you've given some wonderful advice on here Stu, I’m sure I speak for others when I say that if we can do anything to help you, please reach out. You’ve been a source of calm, reasoned, non judgemental and positive support for many, I’m sure we’d all be keen to do the same for you if we can :aok:


as for me, been a funny few months. We had to get our dog put to sleep a few weeks ago, which was utterly heartbreaking, although the best decision for her given her health. Also been a rough few months with my daughter, a new game 4-5 times a week of waking up anytime between 11:30 and 4:30, and refusing to go back to sleep, so been a few zombie-like days.

On the positive side, I’ve just finished my 13th week in my new job, and really enjoying it. Firstly it’s been great having something tangible to get my teeth into that isn’t trawling job websites. It’s also been really good to feel like I’m able to bring something of value to others, and feel valued myself. My boss is great to work for, I feel like I’m making a difference in a company with positive and aspirational values and ethos, and the work is varied (if coming in thick and fast ��). The bypass/traffic is a bit of a pain at times, but I’m taking the positives of getting a bit of alone time in the car to listen to an audiobook or podcast, and having some decent switch on/off time from work (previous commute was only a few minutes so didn’t really get that).

all in all feeling a good bit better in myself most of the time, still have a few wee dark moments, but trying to see the positives rather than dwelling if I can

Really kind, thanks for that mate.

Sounds like you've had your ups and downs in the past while. Applying for jobs can become really demoralising. Thankfully, I haven't had to do that as I was transferred along with my caseload. There were still some dodgy and insecure moments though.

It's great to hear that you've got set up and that it's going well. The qualities of the job you mention resonate with me. I had a great manager who championed me and fully supported and listened to me. I very much believed in the integrity of the charity too and it's not necessarily always we can say that of our employers.

On the bright side, the welcome at the new charity has been a warm one. It's a national organisation too and they have an office in Edinburgh (and several around Glasgow and Lanarkshire( so who knows in the future!

Really like and agree with the way you've chosen to spend that extra time on the commute, excellent. In normal times I have a shortish commute of five miles and I always thought of it as 'switch off time' when locking that office door. It really helped to leave the stories and events of the day behind, taking the stroll through the city and a bus home. In more recent times the 'commute' has been from the dining room to the living room!


I went through an incredibly low period in February through to May whilst going through redundancy at work. Stopped my my running and all socialising and went back on to medication. Thankfully things have worked out fine now and I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. Back to running and at the gym every day and it’s made a massive difference to my mental health.

I think that was quite a low time for many people wasn't it. Still many restrictions and places closed, the midwinter and easing of restrictions in April a fair way off with lots of uncertainty still. Top that off with the major life event of redundancy and I certainly get you.

Agree with you about the benefits of exercise. Running thousand of miles over the years I can honestly say I never didn't come home from a run without an improved mood. The meditative aspect and inducing that 'flow state'* through running was never lost on me.

Flow is well worth reading about and is a great aid towards good mental health:

https://positivepsychology.com/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi-father-of-flow/

[CropleyWasGod]

Interesting piece in the Guardian about the use of psychedelics to treat depression.

Backs up what a professional in the research field told me recently, that he expects the licensing of psychedelics as a treatment option within a couple of years.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/26/psychedelics-renaissance-new-wave-of-research-puts-hallucinogenics-forward-to-treat-mental-health

[pacoluna]

Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

[Itsnoteasy]

Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

Just read the article. I can see how you feel about gambling.

I like a gamble myself, but I always maintain gambling is worse than drink & drugs. I believe you could lose everything in a day if you gamble.

[pacoluna]

Just read the article. I can see how you feel about gambling.

I like a gamble myself, but I always maintain gambling is worse than drink & drugs. I believe you could lose everything in a day if you gamble.

Vulnerable people particularly those with mental health conditions are exposed.
The industry is regulated by a not fit for purpose gambling commison, no ombudsman and inadequate safeguards.
When you actually look into it it's horrifying.

[stu in nottingham]

Really disappointed with Hibs signing a sponsorship deal with marsbet.

Maybe I'm just spiteful but my brain injured Schizophrenic son lost £120k when under psycosis.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/finance/crusader/1449611/betting-firm-mentally-ill-man-gambling-firm-TonyBet/amp

That is an absolutely appalling story, I am so sorry for what has has happened to your son and the effect it must have had on you and your family. I hope you can continue to fight against that injustice. I echo the sentiments above regarding the Gambling Commission. I’m also unhappy with the way counselling and treatment provision for gambling addiction is, as I see it, regressing. Especially as the need for effective treatment becomes more and more needed.

As for Hibs and the Marsbet deal, I’m beyond disappointed with the club. Mealy-mouthed words about ‘responsible gambling’ mean absolutely nothing. I do believe that eventually football advertising will become generally more ethical. It seems that’s a little way off at the moment still though, sadly.

‘A Hibernian spokesperson said: “The club remains committed to supporting fans to gamble responsibly, as we are to supporting responsible enjoyment of alcohol, and Hibernian Community Foundation will continue to deliver both alcohol and gambling awareness programmes.-“‘

[Scorrie]

I have just started reading Paul Merson’s autobiography. A scary and brutal read about the damage gambling addiction can cause

[CropleyWasGod]

Following on from a previous discussion, this is an interesting development:-

https://news.sky.com/story/womans-severe-depression-successfully-treated-using-pacemaker-for-the-brain-12426062

[pacoluna]

[QUOTE=stu in nottingham;6709198]That is an absolutely appalling story, I am so sorry for what has has happened to your son and the effect it must have had on you and your family. I hope you can continue to fight against that injustice. I echo the sentiments above regarding the Gambling Commission. I’m also unhappy with the way counselling and treatment provision for gambling addiction is, as I see it, regressing. Especially as the need for effective treatment becomes more and more needed.

As for Hibs and the Marsbet deal, I’m beyond disappointed with the club. Mealy-mouthed words about ‘responsible gambling’ mean absolutely nothing. I do believe that eventually football advertising will become generally more ethical. It seems that’s a little way off at the moment still though, sadly.

‘A Hibernian spokesperson said: “The club remains committed to supporting fans to gamble responsibly, as we are to supporting responsible enjoyment of alcohol, and Hibernian Community Foundation will continue to deliver both alcohol and gambling awareness programmes.-“‘[/QUOTE


Marsbet aren't even regulated by the UK gambling commison license, the are regulated offshore.

[Keith_M]

Marsbet aren't even regulated by the UK gambling commison license, the are regulated offshore.


That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

[One Day Soon]

That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.


I think it is genuinely impossible to communicate to others who have not lived it the completely crushing and rotting effect of alcoholism and gambling addiction - worse still, both - on a family. On every level it is horrendous. I cannot say what's worse, an episode taking place or the dread and fear from the anticipation of the next episode taking place.

The majority of people can drink or gamble in a controlled way I would imagine. But a very sizeable and significant minority cannot. I think that the relationship between football and the betting companies in particular has become so direct now that we are storing up a time-bomb on this front - both for the funding of football when betting connections are inevitably and rightly reduced or removed and for generations of people experiencing betting as a normalised daily activity, many of who are going to become addicted and damaged.

In some ways for me the most depressing thing about this is the lack of anything even remotely approaching serious regulation of the betting industry. They seem to get a free pass which I think is contemptible.

[Keith_M]

I think it is genuinely impossible to communicate to others who have not lived it the completely crushing and rotting effect of alcoholism and gambling addiction - worse still, both - on a family. On every level it is horrendous. I cannot say what's worse, an episode taking place or the dread and fear from the anticipation of the next episode taking place.

The majority of people can drink or gamble in a controlled way I would imagine. But a very sizeable and significant minority cannot. I think that the relationship between football and the betting companies in particular has become so direct now that we are storing up a time-bomb on this front - both for the funding of football when betting connections are inevitably and rightly reduced or removed and for generations of people experiencing betting as a normalised daily activity, many of who are going to become addicted and damaged.

In some ways for me the most depressing thing about this is the lack of anything even remotely approaching serious regulation of the betting industry. They seem to get a free pass which I think is contemptible.



Sounds like you've suffered too, mate, and you totally nailed how I feel about it.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

:aok:

[stu in nottingham]

Sad to hear the accounts of people's experiences in their families, for what it's worth you have my sympathy. Working in a gambling addiction service in mental health it's part of pretty much every day talking to 'affected others' who are suffering from the fallout of another's addiction, most often a partner but many times parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and so on. Sometimes these cases are characterised by domestic abuse in its various forms, emotional, financal and so on.

Some of the cases are truly desperate and one feels for for the people involved. The consequences of the addiction can be varied but most commonly there are resultant relationship and mental health problems, debts that see people homeless, financially ruined or families in tatters and sometimes children suffering which needs careful screening.

In recent times in particular I've experienced several clients appearing in Crown Court guilty of fraud etc, they were all due for sentencing before seeking help. Three of them got custodial sentences of significant length and one, very, very luckily got off with a suspended sentence. All of them were identified all over their local media which caused great problems for their families in being marginalised and children being bullied at school. I would urge people to contact the relevant support services.

People are sometimes unaware that services which offer counselling and support to gamblers also offer the same to affected others.

GamCare are the main national providers of these services: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/

Further peer support for affected others can be sought from GamAnon: https://gamanon.org.uk/

[Keith_M]

Stu, you're a star.


:aok:


I'm a grown man now (quite an old one at that) and the stuff that affected me so badly in my childhood is (mostly) long gone, but there are probably thousands of people going through similar experiences every day.



As an aside: When I hear of people doing something so worthwhile, it makes me realise how trivial my own job is. All power to their elbow

[CMurdoch]

That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

Thanks for that Keith. I can't get close to appreciating the misery of that situation other than for a fleeting moment and similarly I don't think people realise or think enough about how badly it affects the children who have to grow up through it.
Things improved when women working became the norm and mens wages were paid into the bank instead of being given to them in a brown envelope every week. Unfortunately the online era has burnt all those bridges on the gambling front and we are back beyond square one.

[Keith_M]

Thanks for that Keith. I can't get close to appreciating the misery of that situation other than for a fleeting moment and similarly I don't think people realise or think enough about how badly it affects the children who have to grow up through it.
Things improved when women working became the norm and mens wages were paid into the bank instead of being given to them in a brown envelope every week. Unfortunately the online era has burnt all those bridges on the gambling front and we are back beyond square one.


Cheers Colin.


I did think about adding the fact that my first holiday at 14 was to a caravan owned by my Gran's next door neighbour (so we didn't have to pay for it), it was in Fife (almost in sight of my house) and that there wasn't enough room in the caravan for me and my brother and we had to sleep in the van but.... even though it was true.... it was starting to sound the like The Four Yorkshiremen sketch by that point :greengrin

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

[Keith_M]

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.


:top marks

[McD]

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.


mate, genuinely happy reading this, and it’s one of the most positive things I’ve heard/read in a while, well done

[Itsnoteasy]

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

Well done.

[stu in nottingham]

Stu, you're a star.


:aok:


I'm a grown man now (quite an old one at that) and the stuff that affected me so badly in my childhood is (mostly) long gone, but there are probably thousands of people going through similar experiences every day.

As an aside: When I hear of people doing something so worthwhile, it makes me realise how trivial my own job is. All power to their elbow

Thanks for the kind words, Keith. I think at the same time it's important to say that this work has helped me personally as well. Sometime people say things such as 'I couldn't sit listening to problems all day long' but actually, we get to hear of the successes too - people changing their lives, saving relationships, reuniting families and making progress again so that is always fantastic. Thanks too for sharing your story.

Paul Merson has a mention up the thread and this short video featuring him on the subject of brain activity after stimulous from gambling triggers is very interesting and enlightening I thought.

Paul Merson: Football, Gambling & Me
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p09y3lgl

[stu in nottingham]

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

That is such a fantastic story to read.

Well done to you bud and keep it going eh. :aok: :not worth

[pacoluna]

Bump

[Hibby70]

On a train to York (to get to Manchester but that's another story). Train delayed due to someone getting hit by a train on the line.

There's a couple in front complaining as their son is picking them up and will be livid.

Some folk can't see beyond their own wee selfish world.

This thread should always be at the top of this forum.

[Santa Cruz]

I've only ever read more recent posts on this thread. I started on page 1 this morning and will keep reading the rest of the thread. It really helped me, so thanks to everyone for that. Posting about my circumstance is not something I'd be comfortable ever doing, so I imagine that was quite a difficult thing to do for some posters. Can I ask anyone who has contributed, did it help once you had wrote down your thoughts/experiences, did you feel a bit of a release from your worries by doing that?

[CropleyWasGod]

I've only ever read more recent posts on this thread. I started on page 1 this morning and will keep reading the rest of the thread. It really helped me, so thanks to everyone for that. Posting about my circumstance is not something I'd be comfortable ever doing, so I imagine that was quite a difficult thing to do for some posters. Can I ask anyone who has contributed, did it help once you had wrote down your thoughts/experiences, did you feel a bit of a release from your worries by doing that?

I might turn that question back to you and ask "how did it make you feel even writing that?" :agree:

Being "out" doesn't sit comfortably with everyone, that's for sure. Doing it on a semi-anonymous site, though, can be a halfway-house for some.

One of my mantras, that I use with clients, is "find what works for you, and keep doing it." If you feel better by sharing on here, or by just reading and absorbing, that's the way to go.

[Santa Cruz]

I might turn that question back to you and ask "how did it make you feel even writing that?" :agree:

Being "out" doesn't sit comfortably with everyone, that's for sure. Doing it on a semi-anonymous site, though, can be a halfway-house for some.

One of my mantras, that I use with clients, is "find what works for you, and keep doing it." If you feel better by sharing on here, or by just reading and absorbing, that's the way to go.

Weirdly, very emotional while typing. I think for me just reading today helped.

[CropleyWasGod]

Weirdly, very emotional while typing. I think for me just reading today helped.

There is no "weird". It's you. Embrace it. :agree:

[Scorrie]

I've only ever read more recent posts on this thread. I started on page 1 this morning and will keep reading the rest of the thread. It really helped me, so thanks to everyone for that. Posting about my circumstance is not something I'd be comfortable ever doing, so I imagine that was quite a difficult thing to do for some posters. Can I ask anyone who has contributed, did it help once you had wrote down your thoughts/experiences, did you feel a bit of a release from your worries by doing that?

For those of us who suffer from poor mental health, this thread has, for me, been very helpful. I do find the process of writing my thoughts and feelings down hugely helpful so I keep a diary. Some days might not write anything but just getting thoughts down does help me. As CWG says, there’s no “right” way, it’s what works for you to help you firstly get through it and cope and secondly, hopefully develop coping strategies to deal with the future. Everybody’s strategies are different, for me it’s exercise, giving up alcohol, yoga, reading and writing things down . Sharing experience through this thread is also part of this

[Santa Cruz]

For those of us who suffer from poor mental health, this thread has, for me, been very helpful. I do find the process of writing my thoughts and feelings down hugely helpful so I keep a diary. Some days might not write anything but just getting thoughts down does help me. As CWG says, there’s no “right” way, it’s what works for you to help you firstly get through it and cope and secondly, hopefully develop coping strategies to deal with the future. Everybody’s strategies are different, for me it’s exercise, giving up alcohol, yoga, reading and writing things down . Sharing experience through this thread is also part of this

That's a good idea about the diary. Thanks for replying.

[Scorrie]

That's a good idea about the diary. Thanks for replying.

No problem. The other good thing about writing things down is that sometimes you can identify certain triggers about what’s causing it when you feel bad. Hope it works for you 👍

[stu in nottingham]

No problem. The other good thing about writing things down is that sometimes you can identify certain triggers about what’s causing it when you feel bad. Hope it works for you 👍

I'm not much of a diary keeper personally these days but I often find it really helpful for my clients. As you say CWG, very useful too for identifying patterns of behaviour and triggers.

For many there is a need for some kind of dialogue about how they are feeling and sometimes that dialogue can be with yourself. Actually just speaking with a professional and expressing your thoughts can be a very therapeutic experience just simply to 'get it out' especially after internalising those thought for a period of time. I would very regularly hear client say towards the end of their initial session that they feel so much better in just getting things off their chest and out there, particularly with a non-judgmental and impartial professional. It shouldn't be underestimated.

I hope everyone is keeping relatively well at this quite tricky time. Further, I hope they feel able to share a little if that's not the case. There are good people here to offer support.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

It was a bit of a leap of faith for me to write on here as I’m fairly well known. But it was cathartic. I even blogged about it for a while and put my name out there.

One thing I do religiously is journal on a daily basis and that is a huge help. It’s motivating to look back at what i was writing a year ago and seeing how far I have come. If you’re ever feeling a wee bit down; being able to rewind and get that reassurance that you are so much better than you once were is motivation enough to snap out of your mini-funk and realise you’re on a pathway to happiness.

Morning Pages is the app I use on my iPhone to document my thoughts. Sometimes it’s not until you start writing that you begin to unravel so many things that had previously betwixt you.

[Itsnoteasy]

It was a bit of a leap of faith for me to write on here as I’m fairly well known. But it was cathartic. I even blogged about it for a while and put my name out there.

One thing I do religiously is journal on a daily basis and that is a huge help. It’s motivating to look back at what i was writing a year ago and seeing how far I have come. If you’re ever feeling a wee bit down; being able to rewind and get that reassurance that you are so much better than you once were is motivation enough to snap out of your mini-funk and realise you’re on a pathway to happiness.

Morning Pages is the app I use on my iPhone to document my thoughts. Sometimes it’s not until you start writing that you begin to unravel so many things that had previously betwixt you.


Good to hear you are on an upwards curve.

[Keith_M]

I hope everybody's doing well...

...and you're all getting over yesterday's result as best you can :greengrin

[Hibernia&Alba]

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

You should be very proud of yourself. You've been through hell, and it's a real achievement how far you've come. It's humbling to read of the experiences some people have endured, and it's great to learn your circumstances are much better. Long may your new start continue to prosper :aok:

[CropleyWasGod]

For those of you for whom the darkness is an issue....

Happy Solstice.... the days will start to get longer now. :agree:

[Just_Jimmy]

****ing covid restrictions

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

[AugustaHibs]

****ing covid restrictions

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

Yup.

Can see myself really struggling soon.

[Coco Bryce]

Me too. I've had enough of this ****.

Done everything we were asked to do and still at square 1.

**** it!!

[H18 SFR]

Meant to be hosting this year’s Hogmanay gathering. Reluctantly cancelled but feel I’m being really proactive. One of our circle of friends is very strongly politically minded and we he brings everything from today up I will attack him quite frankly. Thankfully we are a supportive group of friends, folk know it’s a disaster waiting to happen given my mindset.

Someone else leathered him 4 years ago at Hogmanay and he didn’t managed to take anything on-board.

[Pagan Hibernia]

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

[stu in nottingham]

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

Hi PH, totally understand what you're saying here. It's impossible to generalise about these things as there are so many variables concerning the person the type of medication the person is taking and the interaction between these things too. In many ways you answer your own question, you're right, it's not recommended. What would be helpful for you is to consult your GP regards a medication review. In that, you could discuss your reasons for wanting to stop taking the medication and how it felt for you during your recent experience. There is no need to do this this alone/unsupervised. Your GP is not there to deter or encourage you to take the medication and will discuss it with you. Some medication can cease fairly rapidly, others need more of a weaning off period. Your experience of the side effects you describe indicate that a discussion/review would be appropiate for you. Best wishes mate.

[LunasBoots]

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

Have tried to come off mine many a time and each time i'm certain i can do it, lasted a month and a half but the effects where over bearing so had to reinstate, while i dont want to be on them i feel i dont really have a choice as without some kind of rehab to get off them it just isnt going to happen for me.

As far as im aware depending on the length of time on them recovery can take a long time even years, its not a fast process, i had all of those effects when i tried to just not take them anymore, i made myself ill peeing blood, stomach agony, not eating, a what i describe as a vertigo feeling, high anxiety, random moments of crying etc (paroxetine), i would go to your GP and get checked out, at the end of the day you dont want to do anything that may make you ill or in hospital.

I would suggest you probaly need to reinstate for a while and once ready ask the doctor to wean you off as slowly as possible, i dont think many doctors even know the effects of coming off them from my own experience.

[hibsbollah]

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

I have had extremely bad experiences coming off anti depressants in the past. To the point where it was far worse than the depression it was supposed to be dealing with. There are messageboards and support groups on line that I found very helpful and supportive. As Stu says, use your GP and any support you can, BUT be aware that everyone has different reactions to different medications, there are so many ADs out there. I tried Mirtazapine for a few weeks, found it wasnt working for me and then started to taper off and got really awful stomach cramps in the morning which lasted about 3 weeks. It was pretty scary. But Mirtazapine was recommended by a lot of people as one you could easily come off with little side effects! Which just goes to show that there is no one size fits all.

Coming off Seroxat (paroxetine) was just a horrible experience. If i had any idea what it was like i would have stayed on it. And theres no easy answers, for some people, meds work and trying to come off is a bad idea.

Your GP will probably advise you taper off gradually, by halfing your dose and halfing it again after a week or so, but I found i had to taper very very VERY gradually, with a few miligrams reduction each time which i could only do by moving to liquid from tablet. My personal experience is the medical establishment tends to advise some people to come off faster than they can deal with.

Im in a great place now but i remember what its like and its really tough and i sympathise, let us know how it goes.



Christmas can be a really difficult time for people, and this Christmas is uniquely hard with everything thats going on in the world and being separate from loved ones. God only knows how we're all coping. I just wanted to reach out to folk on this thread who have contributed and given us all food for thought and wish you all well over the festive period. Its such a great resource and ive learned a lot from it personally:not worth

[Pagan Hibernia]

Thanks guys.

I’ll speak to my gp and see what she says.

best wishes for Christmas to everyone.

[CropleyWasGod]

Anxiety UK have developed a free guide for those who struggle with Christmas.

I can't upload it, but you can get it here:-

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/product-category/instant-downloads/

It might be the best present you give yourself or a loved one. :aok:

[Hibernia&Alba]

Anxiety UK have developed a free guide for those who struggle with Christmas.

I can't upload it, but you can get it here:-

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/product-category/instant-downloads/

It might be the best present you give yourself or a loved one. :aok:

:agree:

Must admit I'm feeling stressed out and can't get into the Christmas spirit. It's been a hell of a year for various reasons. Just trying to keep busy and hold off the OCD traits!

[McD]

:agree:

Must admit I'm feeling stressed out and can't get into the Christmas spirit. It's been a hell of a year for various reasons. Just trying to keep busy and hold off the OCD traits!


I’ve been feeling very stressed for a little while now, couple of very mild, almost panic attacks at work, and very low as well.

like yourself I’ve just not been feeling Christmas at all this year, putting a smile on for the bairn and family, but tbh I can see the 27th coming far enough

[Pretty Boy]

Always a difficult time of year. I think this year will prove particularly tough.

The expectation of a more normal Christmas snatched away late in the day. Plans being cancelled last minute as covid hits people who have thus far avoided it and a generally sombre mood.

For me it's about remembering it's one day. I have to put a face on for the kids, particularly my eldest. She's been a star dealing with the isolating and deserves as good a day as we can give her. We'll eat some nice food, do a Zoom call with extended family and watch crap telly and play games.

As I said it really is one day and hard as it sometimes might be to see sometimes, it's not the end of the world if it goes wrong. For anyone alone or struggling maybe consider going along to a Christmas Day Parkrun or one of the communal walks organised in a few places. There is one up Falkland Hill in Fife.

I hope everyone on this thread has a peaceful Christmas. There are so many good people contribute to this thread and you have all made a positive difference in the life of others by sharing your story.

[Scorrie]

Thanks all who posted on here this year. Been really helpful in this tough year. Hope everybody has a peaceful, healthy and stress free Christmas.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Wishing you all the very, very best.

[stu in nottingham]

I’ve been feeling very stressed for a little while now, couple of very mild, almost panic attacks at work, and very low as well.

like yourself I’ve just not been feeling Christmas at all this year, putting a smile on for the bairn and family, but tbh I can see the 27th coming far enough

Take care of yourself bud. I understand what you mean about 'feeling' Christmas. In all honesty, I'm not the greatest Christmas fan but I had a pal come round for a visit this afternoon and had to catch my thoughts to remember it was actually Christmas Day tomorrow.

I think that ironically, the ushering in of the 25th December again will bring some relief for many. The build-up and especially the expectations can be very high and when feelings of helplessness or inability in meeting those expectations comes along it can be deeply upsetting or unsettling. This is especially so when we feel it may affect others, say our loved ones, in a negative way. Many matters have been out of our control due to Covid and we witness the great sadness and disappointment mentioned within this forum by those who have had their hopes dashed of a 'traditional' Christmas dashed at the eleventh hour due to isolating in particular.

It seems simplistic to say but it really does revolve around one day of our lives, sacrosanct though we may see that day. That time passes whether we wish it to or not and very quickly it is history with the rush of Christmas quickly trailing into a distant blur.

A few years ago, after losing my partner and being faced with a very quiet and subdued situation in the home, full of grief and sorrow, I wondered how to 'survive' the days of Christmas. A friend who was full of wisdom offered me similar thoughts to the above. I remained conscious of my feelings through that first Christmas and understood on reflection that it really didn't hurt me. The time passed and I got on with my life as we all do.

At the risk of repeating myself, we really need to manage those expectations, about this time of year and indeed generally in life. To not challenge them can be anxiety inducing, uncomfortable, even painful.

I'd like to wish all here a pleasant and peaceful time, also thank each and every person for their meaningful and sincere thoughts on the conversations we've had here and no doubt will continue to have. I know that I learn a lot from those contributions. Thank you.

Happy Christmas all.

[McD]

Take care of yourself bud. I understand what you mean about 'feeling' Christmas. In all honesty, I'm not the greatest Christmas fan but I had a pal come round for a visit this afternoon and had to catch my thoughts to remember it was actually Christmas Day tomorrow.

I think that ironically, the ushering in of the 25th December again will bring some relief for many. The build-up and especially the expectations can be very high and when feelings of helplessness or inability in meeting those expectations comes along it can be deeply upsetting or unsettling. This is especially so when we feel it may affect others, say our loved ones, in a negative way. Many matters have been out of our control due to Covid and we witness the great sadness and disappointment mentioned within this forum by those who have had their hopes dashed of a 'traditional' Christmas dashed at the eleventh hour due to isolating in particular.

It seems simplistic to say but it really does revolve around one day of our lives, sacrosanct though we may see that day. That time passes whether we wish it to or not and very quickly it is history with the rush of Christmas quickly trailing into a distant blur.

A few years ago, after losing my partner and being faced with a very quiet and subdued situation in the home, full of grief and sorrow, I wondered how to 'survive' the days of Christmas. A friend who was full of wisdom offered me similar thoughts to the above. I remained conscious of my feelings through that first Christmas and understood on reflection that it really didn't hurt me. The time passed and I got on with my life as we all do.

At the risk of repeating myself, we really need to manage those expectations, about this time of year and indeed generally in life. To not challenge them can be anxiety inducing, uncomfortable, even painful.

I'd like to wish all here a pleasant and peaceful time, also thank each and every person for their meaningful and sincere thoughts on the conversations we've had here and no doubt will continue to have. I know that I learn a lot from those contributions. Thank you.

Happy Christmas all.


thanks for this Stu

i think you make a really important point, that struggling with anything in the time leading to Christmas, doesn’t just ‘go away’ because it’s Christmas, and it’s important to take time for self care


I’d also like to wish everyone a peaceful, relaxing and happy time, not just over Christmas, but hopefully this is a time for most, if not all of us to get some space, and find some comfort and respite from the challenges each of us is dealing with

merry Christmas

[I'm_cabbaged]

Just to give a bit of hope to folk. I came off sertraline early November under the advise of gp and to start with it was a real struggle. Another gp said that it was totally the wrong time of year for me (dark days and my sons anniversary) and if my mood didn’t pick up soon to get back on my meds until spring. I reckoned after a fortnight of misery I’d stick it out for another week, and I’m glad I did!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my moments of crying for no apparent reason and been a grumpy ******* at times but saw it through.
Today was going to be a real test with my wife testing a positive LFT so not seeing the bairns but speaking on FaceTime and doing a virtual quiz was a bit of a giggle, so all good so far. Hopefully I’ve turned the corner!!
Merry Christmas and the very best of health to everyone, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!
Cabbaged
Apologies if that’s a bit of a ramble, too many vino’s 😂

[Keith_M]

Just to give a bit of hope to folk. I came off sertraline early November under the advise of gp and to start with it was a real struggle. Another gp said that it was totally the wrong time of year for me (dark days and my sons anniversary) and if my mood didn’t pick up soon to get back on my meds until spring. I reckoned after a fortnight of misery I’d stick it out for another week, and I’m glad I did!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my moments of crying for no apparent reason and been a grumpy ******* at times but saw it through.
Today was going to be a real test with my wife testing a positive LFT so not seeing the bairns but speaking on FaceTime and doing a virtual quiz was a bit of a giggle, so all good so far. Hopefully I’ve turned the corner!!
Merry Christmas and the very best of health to everyone, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!
Cabbaged
Apologies if that’s a bit of a ramble, too many vino’s 😂



:aok:

[stu in nottingham]

It remains a difficult time for many with much uncertainty and hardship. Just a gentle reminder to keep an eye on friends, family and others close to us.

This morning I noticed a series of concerning Facebook posts from an acquaintance. There were many responses asking if the person was okay etc,. An occasional person asking if someone local could go round and pay him a visit to see if he's okay but with nobody responding to that nor doing anything but showing concern.

It's really important if you have any concerns at all of this nature to contact emergency services to request a welfare call in these circumstances. I can understand that sometimes people might feel a bit silly or that they're overacting if the person turns out to be okay but try and put those personal feelings aside and make sure the person is safe. I know of instances, even with professionals, where this has not happened and people have lost their lives.

My acquaintance today was found to be safe thankfully but not in great shape and wasn't responding to people either on the phone or at his property.

Take care of each other.

[Lendo]

Kevin McNaughton sending some really troubling tweets last night. Thankfully found safely by the police today.

25505

Horrible thing to see but glad he has been found.

[Hiber-nation]

Kevin McNaughton sending some really troubling tweets last night. Thankfully found safely by the police today.

25505

Horrible thing to see but glad he has been found.

That's awful. Glad he's been found and hopefully he can get the help he needs.

Cracking player.