Depression and anxiety

[stoneyburn hibs]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.


I hope that you can get the help you need soon mate and get on a better path.
I wish you all the best.

[Jones28]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

Your contributions have been missed mate.

I really hope you can find a way of turning things around. I find the post game analysis when we lose really tiresome on here, especially at the moment when there is no space given to anything positive. That can infect other areas of my life. I’ve decided to distance myself from football at the moment as it puts a dampener on my weekends when we don’t do well.

All the best.

[matty_f]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.
Stick in mate, hope to see you posting again soon - you're a good poster on the forums and your contribution is missed. :aok:

[wpj]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

Horrible to hear that, I can only echo the above comments. Take care and keep talking, to anyone including us all, you're not alone.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Cheers buddy, you’re definitely one of the good guys on this forum.

Not sure what I've done to deserve that but, cheers! 😉

[stu in nottingham]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

I don't blame you for taking yourself away from negativity, LB, I think it's a really good idea. Who wants to live in that world any more than they need to. I wasn't struggling personally but I decided to take a similar tack and feel better for it. An example of that is Facebook where I these days have a hair trigger for blocking people that I don't want to listen to and certainly don't want impinging on my equilibrium.

Really sorry to hear things have been difficult for you of late. I wonder if you can cast your mind back to what helped you in the past and anything that has led to this point more recently?

Take care mate.

[stu in nottingham]

I find the post game analysis when we lose really tiresome on here, especially at the moment when there is no space given to anything positive. That can infect other areas of my life. I’ve decided to distance myself from football at the moment as it puts a dampener on my weekends when we don’t do well.

Agree with this. I haven't taken myself away from football but tend to concentrate on the football itself and much less about the social media etc, that surrounds it. It's just very wearing.

[Smartie]

I find that my ability to cope with aggro on here, on other social media and anywhere else depends on my frame of mind.

Sometimes, when feeling well, it is fun getting stuck in. You argue your corner, other folk argue theirs, you see some stuff that on another day would bother you but you are in a position to be able to deal with it and brush it off. Sometimes you will chuck a cheeky, barbed or slightly vicious comment out there without really thinking about who might be on the receiving end of it.

There are other times when that seems impossible. Little things really niggle. In the grander scheme of things (for example) an online skirmish about the ability of Christian Doidge to play association football isn't really that big a deal, but it is amazing how other posters can get to you when you are anything from just not yourself to seriously mentally unwell. The same goes for online discussions of Brexit, folk parading their achievements on facebook, to somebody opening a packet of crisps noisily in the pub.

My partner helps me with it, as she can spot changes in my mood and will tell me when it is time to take a break - this can be from social media, spending time on certain sites, spending too long at work to spending any time with certain people.

It is important also though, to point out that sometimes social media can help. It's not all negative. This site has banter, friendliness, honest debate, people helping each other get to games, folk sharing fond memories and reminiscing about times we've enjoyed together, even if we don't have the first idea who each other are.

I'm not a professional so I reckon it would be dangerous for me to post any sort of advice LB. The only thing I would say is that yours is a username I recognise, you are a poster who has made a formidable positive contribution to this thread and this site. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in getting better, however that happens.

[hibsbollah]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

LB we've spoken before the last time you were struggling, you strike me as an insightful, intelligent person and you will know the best course of action to get yourself out of this temporary (yes, it IS just temporary) bad patch.

The main thing is get yourself to the GP and tell him/her everything. And remember the mantra about being kind to yourself at all times. If you need to spend all day in bed, that's absolutely fine. Life's not a competition. Be easy on yourself :aok:

I've had a dip in mood recently, I'm going to the docs first thing tomorrow morning to get reacquainted with a mindfulness course, because I know it helps with stress and anxiety and that racing, overactive mind thing that comes with just having too much going on. Talking about it helps me a lot.

Oh and aye, absolutely taking a break from social media is a great idea. There's certain forums I just stay away from now because I recognise that it's just not a productive or healthy way to spend my time. Especially if you're feeling low.

[Pretty Boy]

The whole social media world really is a tale of contradictions. It can undoubtedly be a very negative place that brings out the worst in people but it's also full of good people doing good things.

For all the negativity on here there are also threads like this one or other threads with people helping each other out with everything from finding a plumber to becoming a vegetarian. I find the same across the spectrum. For all the ugliness that the likes of Brexit have caused I also see dozens of people coming together to get a lost cat home or people who run and win 100 mile races being genuinely delighted for and encouraging to people who have walked their first 5K.

I go through phases in which I am consumed by the ugliness of it as well and it doesn't do any harm to step back from it from time to time. It's always worth remembering in a lot of instances it's not real life and things aren't always what they seem.

As said above LB please speak to your GP and make them aware of your current thoughts. And remember that whilst it's perfectly understandable if you want to take a break from here, there are many on this thread who appreciate you as a poster and want to 'listen' to you and help however they can.

[lord bunberry]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

[Hiber-nation]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

Good to hear. Hope your appointment helps and the gym session makes a difference.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Disclosure - The Lost Boys is worth a watch, not easy viewing though. Will be on iPlayer.

[Hibernia&Alba]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

We all wish you the very best, mate :aok:

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

How have the last couple of days been mate?

[lord bunberry]

How have the last couple of days been mate?
Up and down mate. It’s amazing how quickly things can turn. I struggle to cope with the lows and don’t understand the highs. I’ve felt great today, I went out to work, had a good bit of banter with my punters and made a few quid. I’ve just got home and it’s nice to sit downstairs in peace and quiet. I might have a beer.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Up and down mate. It’s amazing how quickly things can turn. I struggle to cope with the lows and don’t understand the highs. I’ve felt great today, I went out to work, had a good bit of banter with my punters and made a few quid. I’ve just got home and it’s nice to sit downstairs in peace and quiet. I might have a beer.

Keep your chin up, you know where we are. 😉

[matty_f]

We put out a third episode in our Changing Room series last night, I thought it was really powerful, and a really reassuring message from our guest, John.

You can catch it here:
iTunes
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/longbangers/id1474463560
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MCzGDLx4TcBMvoFCyD8GO?si=8DKDGRHBQgCatuxtJHfpSQ

Web/Anchor
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episodes/Longbangers-Episode-19-Changing-Room-3-e86ooe

If anyone wants to come on and talk about things, drop me a PM or send an email to [email protected]

[Sylar]

Has anyone on here ever sought out therapy/management techniques for anger?

I've suffered from depression, anxiety for about 10 years now (never resorted to medication) and about 2 years ago was diagnosed with PTSD after a pretty horrific child-birth experience with my partner (thankfully all was OK, but the legacy of that event lingers). I've been managing these pretty well and would describe myself as highly functioning. My depressive episodes are moderate, and I don't experience the crushing lows and feelings of hopelessness that people describe.

Lately, I've been finding it increasingly challenging to curb my anger/temper. I'm not violent with it, but this morning, found myself almost getting out my car to beat the **** out of a driver who cut me up with an erratic maneouver and then stopped in front of me just looking at me in his rear view mirror. It was a disproportionate response from me, and one quite out of character. Unlike the low episodes and anxious episodes, which I manage OK, I'm worried that my anger levels are perhaps getting to a point where I could be doing with seeing someone.

My GP is a bit of a tire-fire just now, so sadly they're not really an option.

[CloudSquall]

Not sure if it's been mentioned yet but I'd recommended giving Limmy's autobiograhy a read.

He's suffered from a lot of mental health issues and covers it in his book with a bit of humour thrown in, its a good read.

The audio version is on youtube.

[matty_f]

We recorded another mental health podcast last night, which is available to listen to now:

Anchor:
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episodes/Longbangers-The-Changing-Room-5-e8snkg

iTunes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/longbangers/id1474463560#episodeGuid=894831dd-629a-a80b-79cf-166af5d6f134

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5DWXEQdh3cPcU9WhzIY0cG?si=YbrAVnCpQmitOVS1YWtl3w

We're looking for guests for the show, so if you're interested in helping others by sharing your experiences, pm me, DM @longbangers on Twitter, or email [email protected]

[matty_f]

We recorded the latest mental health episode with the fascinating George Lewis (you can see more about George here: https://www.mumforce.co.uk/post/my-hypnotherapy-journey-week-5-6 and here: https://georgelewishypnotherapy.co.uk/

Episode is available on:
iTunes
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/longbangers/id1474463560

Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3jza9H0rm3a5pO6rmQ4vyo?si=j0SBlKIeTL68J9RY1DS6Cg

Anchor
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episodes/Longbangers-Changing-Room-6-e90jr5

[Jones28]

I’m just wondering if anyone has experience with Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Without over egging things I’ve been feeling noticeably less enthused about things and no motivation to get up and go other than for work.

I wouldn’t go as far to say the was any depressive/sadness/worthlessness feelings, just a lowness that confuses me.

Any advice or help would be great.

[Hibernia&Alba]

I’m just wondering if anyone has experience with Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Without over egging things I’ve been feeling noticeably less enthused about things and no motivation to get up and go other than for work.

I wouldn’t go as far to say the was any depressive/sadness/worthlessness feelings, just a lowness that confuses me.

Any advice or help would be great.

Are you sure it's linked to the time of year and not something else which happens to coincides with it? Do you get this feeling every winter? It isn't something I know anything about, but isn't it the case that suicide rates increase in the Scandinavian countries during their long winters?

[Jones28]

Are you sure it's linked to the time of year and not something else which happens to coincides with it? Do you get this feeling every winter? It isn't something I know anything about, but isn't it the case that suicide rates increase in the Scandinavian countries during their long winters?

It something I’ve noticed for the past 3/4 years. The only coincidence is the time of year. The last few years it’s been fleeting and not as potent as the feelings this year where I’ve had consistent low mood.

I work in agriculture and spend extensive amounts of time outside at all times of year, I just wonder if this is heightening the issues. I was at uni for the last three years so would spend more amounts of time inside but after graduating in July l’ve been farming full time and this involves spending upwards of ten hours outside in the summer.

We had our first baby this year too, I worry that maybe this is a culmination of tiredness as well. I also haven’t had a chance to recharge the batteries after a busy harvest period either which maybe hasn’t helped.

Thanks for the reply anyway, I thought your contribution to the general election thread was absolutely excellent.

[Hibernia&Alba]

It something I’ve noticed for the past 3/4 years. The only coincidence is the time of year. The last few years it’s been fleeting and not as potent as the feelings this year where I’ve had consistent low mood.

I work in agriculture and spend extensive amounts of time outside at all times of year, I just wonder if this is heightening the issues. I was at uni for the last three years so would spend more amounts of time inside but after graduating in July l’ve been farming full time and this involves spending upwards of ten hours outside in the summer.

We had our first baby this year too, I worry that maybe this is a culmination of tiredness as well. I also haven’t had a chance to recharge the batteries after a busy harvest period either which maybe hasn’t helped.

Thanks for the reply anyway, I thought your contribution to the general election thread was absolutely excellent.

Have you researched it further online? If it's having a significant impact, you need to seek further assistance. Have you seen your GP?

[Jones28]

Have you researched it further online? If it's having a significant impact, you need to seek further assistance. Have you seen your GP?

Yes I’ve looked into it, it’s nothing I don’t think can sort myself. I’d rather try the techniques and changes to lifestyle I’ve read about than go straight to the GP, for starters the waiting list is so long by the time I get an appointment the days will be getting longer again 😂

[Hibernia&Alba]

Yes I’ve looked into it, it’s nothing I don’t think can sort myself. I’d rather try the techniques and changes to lifestyle I’ve read about than go straight to the GP, for starters the waiting list is so long by the time I get an appointment the days will be getting longer again 😂

A couple of weeks in the Canary Islands at this time of year would probably work wonders, if you can afford it!

[LustForLeith]

I hope everyone is as well as they can be!

The next drop in for The Changing Room is tonight. If you can make it then meet for 6pm at the West Stand entrance. It’s free, you’ll have the chance to talk in a safe environment about your mental health, you get a cuppa and a biscuit and there’s a football quiz tonight!

[Jones28]

A couple of weeks in the Canary Islands at this time of year would probably work wonders, if you can afford it!

That’s would be smashing.

[Cataplana]

A couple of weeks in the Canary Islands at this time of year would probably work wonders, if you can afford it!

Even if you can't afford that arrange a day out to somewhere. I remember when I was coming out of a rut, how invigorating a bus trip to Glasgow was.

A break from the routine gives you a chance to step back and take stock.

[hibsbollah]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/nov/25/brandon-brooks-eagles-seahawks-anxiety-nfl

This is an interesting story and evidence that even in the most 'man-up' of environments that its OK to be open about mental health:aok:

[One Day Soon]

A couple of weeks in the Canary Islands at this time of year would probably work wonders, if you can afford it!

My work is generaly a very similar routine every day. Same office, same issues, same people, same challenges. It's a business that struggles to keep its head above water from month to month - almost every month - and has done for years now. I carry the stress and anxiety of that around with me every day. I'm never 'off'.

There are a number of things that can help me - eat, sleep, move is more or less my mantra to stay sane - but even just doing something different in a day takes me out of myself and gives me some perspective. Something as simple as a different walk at lunchtime or trying to work in a different place from time to time. It's a bit trite but I suppose I'm saying that a change really is as good as a break.

[Jones28]

My work is generaly a very similar routine every day. Same office, same issues, same people, same challenges. It's a business that struggles to keep its head above water from month to month - almost every month - and has done for years now. I carry the stress and anxiety of that around with me every day. I'm never 'off'.

There are a number of things that can help me - eat, sleep, move is more or less my mantra to stay sane - but even just doing something different in a day takes me out of myself and gives me some perspective. Something as simple as a different walk at lunchtime or trying to work in a different place from time to time. It's a bit trite but I suppose I'm saying that a change really is as good as a break.

That sounds like a pretty awful situation ODS, is there scope for you to move on to somewhere in the same field but with more security?

I’m fortunate in a way in that my work is just ****ing boring, monotonous and underpaid. It’s real slog at this time of year.

[Jones28]

Even if you can't afford that arrange a day out to somewhere. I remember when I was coming out of a rut, how invigorating a bus trip to Glasgow was.

A break from the routine gives you a chance to step back and take stock.

Yepp that’s a great way to do things.

A good hike clears the head something wonderful. Dollar Glen is just about as lovely a spot to hike up, or Alva Glen, if you want a hike not far from Edinburgh.

[Cataplana]

Yepp that’s a great way to do things.

A good hike clears the head something wonderful. Dollar Glen is just about as lovely a spot to hike up, or Alva Glen, if you want a hike not far from Edinburgh.

Dollar Glen is great. I always visit the deli first, they do great baguettes.

[Jones28]

Dollar Glen is great. I always visit the deli first, they do great baguettes.

I’ll bear that in mind. Have you been into the castle or just up to it? I’m trying to weigh up if it’s worth the entrance fee!

[One Day Soon]

That sounds like a pretty awful situation ODS, is there scope for you to move on to somewhere in the same field but with more security?

I’m fortunate in a way in that my work is just ****ing boring, monotonous and underpaid. It’s real slog at this time of year.


It is I'm afraid.

If I move the business folds and people lose their jobs. We've lost a lot of staff since the 2008 collapse but not one of those 20 or so people was made redundant, we managed to slim down over a period of years through natural wasteage. I take pride in that but it's come at a personal cost - both financial and psychological. So most days are trying to avoid being eaten by the bears, which I guess at least gives you a very real sense of being alive. We are in the process of trying to change what the business does at the moment and there's some prospect that could make life different in the next 12 months. I hope so because I want to be able to give more time and head space to my wife and kids in the next few years - I'm old enough now to realise that most things beyond friends and family are just diversionary bread and circuses so spending lots of time dragging around interlinked business and personal debt behind you like a ball and chain is a poor way to spend your fifties.

November is always bad. I regard November and February as the same months dressed up differently - cold, grey, wet dull. But December and March make up for it, you just have to push on through.

[Jones28]

It is I'm afraid.

If I move the business folds and people lose their jobs. We've lost a lot of staff since the 2008 collapse but not one of those 20 or so people was made redundant, we managed to slim down over a period of years through natural wasteage. I take pride in that but it's come at a personal cost - both financial and psychological. So most days are trying to avoid being eaten by the bears, which I guess at least gives you a very real sense of being alive. We are in the process of trying to change what the business does at the moment and there's some prospect that could make life different in the next 12 months. I hope so because I want to be able to give more time and head space to my wife and kids in the next few years - I'm old enough now to realise that most things beyond friends and family are just diversionary bread and circuses so spending lots of time dragging around interlinked business and personal debt behind you like a ball and chain is a poor way to spend your fifties.

November is always bad. I regard November and February as the same months dressed up differently - cold, grey, wet dull. But December and March make up for it, you just have to push on through.

I hope so mate, you sound like a stand up colleague. You’ve every right to take pride in that record, but it sounds like a fairly hellish way to live day-to-day.

I like your way of looking at the months too. I already feel a lot lighter knowing that November is nearly finished.

[Smartie]

It is I'm afraid.

If I move the business folds and people lose their jobs. We've lost a lot of staff since the 2008 collapse but not one of those 20 or so people was made redundant, we managed to slim down over a period of years through natural wasteage. I take pride in that but it's come at a personal cost - both financial and psychological. So most days are trying to avoid being eaten by the bears, which I guess at least gives you a very real sense of being alive. We are in the process of trying to change what the business does at the moment and there's some prospect that could make life different in the next 12 months. I hope so because I want to be able to give more time and head space to my wife and kids in the next few years - I'm old enough now to realise that most things beyond friends and family are just diversionary bread and circuses so spending lots of time dragging around interlinked business and personal debt behind you like a ball and chain is a poor way to spend your fifties.

November is always bad. I regard November and February as the same months dressed up differently - cold, grey, wet dull. But December and March make up for it, you just have to push on through.

I’m sure it won’t make it feel any better but apart from “fifties” I can relate to every single word of your post.

This thread is a great one and one that I have considered contributing to but the time has never been right.

[One Day Soon]

I’m sure it won’t make it feel any better but apart from “fifties” I can relate to every single word of your post.

This thread is a great one and one that I have considered contributing to but the time has never been right.


:aok: It actually does. Solidarity Brother.

[matty_f]

We continue our mental health discussion on the Longbangers podcast, joined tonight by Graham, who shared his experiences of anxiety and depression.

Anchor/web
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episodes/Longbangers-Changing-Room-7-e98bce

iTunes
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/longbangers/id1474463560

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/02c4fE3E0D9VGkY1J7itPC?si=GkFbTwoKTBiLZQ_OT4mNJg

[overdrive]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/nov/25/brandon-brooks-eagles-seahawks-anxiety-nfl

This is an interesting story and evidence that even in the most 'man-up' of environments that its OK to be open about mental health:aok:

Interesting. I’m not saying this was the case with Michael Stewart, but I had my suspicions something like that might have had something to do with the episodes of vomiting on the pitch that Michael Stewart had when he was with us.

[hibsbollah]

Interesting. I’m not saying this was the case with Michael Stewart, but I had my suspicions something like that might have had something to do with the episodes of vomiting on the pitch that Michael Stewart had when he was with us.

If you consider how many actors, comedians etc have gone public about their performance anxiety (what we used to call stage fright) it would be weird if it wasn't a common thing among professional athletes as well. I bet it's massively underreported.

[Smartie]

When you then take into consideration the scrutiny of performance and what is financially at stake in some of these games then I'm amazed it doesn't happen more.

The lack of empathy bordering on resentment due to often colossal earnings can't help either.

At the end of the day we're all human, with all the frailties and weaknesses that go with that, which is worth thinking about prior to launching a volley of abuse at a match or sending a tweet that might just about be legal but is hurtful in the extreme to a sportsperson who has just had a bad day at the office.

[stu in nottingham]

The lack of empathy bordering on resentment due to often colossal earnings can't help either.

At the end of the day we're all human, with all the frailties and weaknesses that go with that, which is worth thinking about prior to launching a volley of abuse at a match or sending a tweet that might just about be legal but is hurtful in the extreme to a sportsperson who has just had a bad day at the office.

I've been thinking for a while about this subject too. Wrote a little about it:

'On a wider note, I have a growing feeling that professional footballers, perhaps due to considerations of their their ‘wealth’ (or assumed wealth) are being somewhat sacrificed for the needs of the game. In Peter and Jeff’s day footballers were perhaps considered differently with much more modest rewards available from the game. In the modern era, it seems to me that players are increasingly vulnerable to addictions such as those of gambling, alcohol and recreational drugs. Stories of depression, anxiety and even suicidality in players due to pressures of the industry and attendant lifestyle are becoming more common and are almost certainly under-diagnosed and reported due to stigma and ignorance. It’s almost as though the players cannot complain about the issues or problems they are experiencing in the public’s view due to arguably, a minority being paid fortunes to play the game many would love to.

I do feel the football industry and individual clubs need to focus more on the health and well-being of football players – no matter how much or little they earn. Money is not a protective factor for health or mental health in these circumstances. Tales of excess and ruined lives litter the professional game and those stories are certainly not relegated to the modern era solely. Players it appears are increasingly more indulged and overprotected in everyday matters of running heir lives and careers. Their personal health and well-being however seems to be a lesser consideration. In some ways, attitudes in the game have not evolved significantly from past days with certain subjects still being subject to stigmatisation.'

[JoeT]

Just watched a fairly badly edited report on BBC on a Cowdenbeath player coming out as suffering from depression. Club are supporting in a good way saying if associated abuse from opposition players or fans continue then they will walk off the pitch during matches. Fair play Blue Brazil

[Aldo]

Just watched a fairly badly edited report on BBC on a Cowdenbeath player coming out as suffering from depression. Club are supporting in a good way saying if associated abuse from opposition players or fans continue then they will walk off the pitch during matches. Fair play Blue Brazil

I am sure I read an article/interview about him, David Cox and his battles with mental health. During the worst times he contemplated taking his own life.

The abuse he has received from the opposition players is utterly disgusting and if Cowdenbeath believe the abuse is that bad I would back their decision to walk off the pitch.
Other clubs need to be wary of this and need to step up and punish their own players.

Easy target for the bully boys trying to get one over on the opposition however this could have dire consequences. Lowest of the low imho!




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[Jones28]

I am sure I read an article/interview about him, David Cox and his battles with mental health. During the worst times he contemplated taking his own life.

The abuse he has received from the opposition players is utterly disgusting and if Cowdenbeath believe the abuse is that bad I would back their decision to walk off the pitch.
Other clubs need to be wary of this and need to step up and punish their own players.

Easy target for the bully boys trying to get one over on the opposition however this could have dire consequences. Lowest of the low imho!




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With stories like that it’s no wonder so many men hide their feelings and don’t talk. It’s even more despicable that this was done by opposing players. I really hope they get outed and never kick a ball again.

[Aldo]

With stories like that it’s no wonder so many men hide their feelings and don’t talk. It’s even more despicable that this was done by opposing players. I really hope they get outed and never kick a ball again.

Indeed.

It takes a lot of courage for anyone to talk about these sort of issues but to be let Fuentes by your fellow professionals is disgusting.

Those involved should be ashamed of their actions and like you e mentioned I hope they get named and shamed.



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[stu in nottingham]

Quite a few people say to me that they have struggles in disclosing their problems and the culture highlighted in previous posts here highlights why. The various slogans and campaigns such as 'It's OK no to be OK' are very well-meaning and in the correct spirit but still at this time they ring a bit hollow. People repeat these things, post them on social media etc. but many do not walk the walk in reality.

[wpj]

Quite a few people say to me that they have struggles in disclosing their problems and the culture highlighted in previous posts here highlights why. The various slogans and campaigns such as 'It's OK no to be OK' are very well-meaning and in the correct spirit but still at this time they ring a bit hollow. People repeat these things, post them on social media etc. but many do not walk the walk in reality.

My boss attended an understanding depression and anxiety course (same day as me strangely) since then he now accepts messages rather than a phone call and has displayed such understanding. He was ever nasty but expected calls in procedures to be used for sickness. When I was last off with it and sciatica he asked me for a shopping list and brought them to my house as I was struggling to get out. Meant so much. His non judgemental approach is a massive help

[stu in nottingham]

My boss attended an understanding depression and anxiety course (same day as me strangely) since then he now accepts messages rather than a phone call and has displayed such understanding. He was ever nasty but expected calls in procedures to be used for sickness. When I was last off with it and sciatica he asked me for a shopping list and brought them to my house as I was struggling to get out. Meant so much. His non judgemental approach is a massive help

Really good to hear. Interesting about the course.

[wpj]

Really good to hear. Interesting about the course.

That should have read never nasty not "ever nasty"
Stu, the course is for NHS managers and provided by external trainers. Where I work stress, anxiety and depression is the largest cause of absenteeism however there is a real lack of understanding. Unfortunately the course isnt mandatory for managers, at least not yet.

[Cataplana]

That should have read never nasty not "ever nasty"
Stu, the course is for NHS managers and provided by external trainers. Where I work stress, anxiety and depression is the largest cause of absenteeism however there is a real lack of understanding. Unfortunately the course isnt mandatory for managers, at least not yet.

That's interesting, do you work in a Scottish NHS board?

[wpj]

That's interesting, do you work in a Scottish NHS board?

No I'm in England in an acute setting, our trust have an internal database where you can get all the information on just about anything, anonymised of course. Be interested to see the national status for the whole UK

[Cataplana]

No I'm in England in an acute setting, our trust have an internal database where you can get all the information on just about anything, anonymised of course. Be interested to see the national status for the whole UK

I was wondering if similar courses were in operation up here.

[Dalianwanda]

Im not sure if I can post here so feel free to delete admins if it breaks any rules. Each night this week I'm hosting a 15minute guided meditation session starting at 9pm. No charge just join the group if you fancy joining in (all will be recorded too so if 9pm isnt any good for you you can join in in your own time). No experience required, they are meditations you cant get wrong, just kick back and listen to me :greengrinYou can access by clicking here (https://www.facebook.com/groups/2833783686645474/)

[Dalianwanda]

Wishing you all on this wonderful thread all the very best. Be kind and accepting to yourself over the next few days & realise your never alone...We are family :flag:

[wpj]

Wishing you all on this wonderful thread all the very best. Be kind and accepting to yourself over the next few days & realise your never alone...We are family :flag:

Thanks and I echo the sentiment. Can be a tough time of year. Got my daughter until lunchtime tomorrow, having a great time but the place will very empty when she goes. Still going to make an effort with food etc, movies and boxsets at the ready. Football all day on boxing day

[LustForLeith]

I said this recently on Twitter but I thought I’d mention it on here since it’s a really positive thread.

Pretty much exactly a year ago I took my daughter to school with tears in my eyes as I thought I was going to end things that day. Last week I took her to school with a smile on my face.

I’m in a far better place mentally than I was. It’s down to various factors but one of them has been the supportive I've received from family, friends and strangers in social media. Yet they would never have helped me if I hadn’t spoken about it.

I don’t know the answers but I do know you can help fight mental health issues by talking about your problems and feelings. If I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. But there’s a chance I wouldn’t be taking my daughter to school.

If anyone wants a chat, just DM me. In the meantime, we’ve got this

[matty_f]

I said this recently on Twitter but I thought I’d mention it on here since it’s a really positive thread.

Pretty much exactly a year ago I took my daughter to school with tears in my eyes as I thought I was going to end things that day. Last week I took her to school with a smile on my face.

I’m in a far better place mentally than I was. It’s down to various factors but one of them has been the supportive I've received from family, friends and strangers in social media. Yet they would never have helped me if I hadn’t spoken about it.

I don’t know the answers but I do know you can help fight mental health issues by talking about your problems and feelings. If I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. But there’s a chance I wouldn’t be taking my daughter to school.

If anyone wants a chat, just DM me. In the meantime, we’ve got this
Great post mate, glad to see you doing well now. :aok:

[Dalianwanda]

I said this recently on Twitter but I thought I’d mention it on here since it’s a really positive thread.

Pretty much exactly a year ago I took my daughter to school with tears in my eyes as I thought I was going to end things that day. Last week I took her to school with a smile on my face.

I’m in a far better place mentally than I was. It’s down to various factors but one of them has been the supportive I've received from family, friends and strangers in social media. Yet they would never have helped me if I hadn’t spoken about it.

I don’t know the answers but I do know you can help fight mental health issues by talking about your problems and feelings. If I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. But there’s a chance I wouldn’t be taking my daughter to school.

If anyone wants a chat, just DM me. In the meantime, we’ve got this
Really heartwarming to see turnarounds like this. Delighted to hear your in a good space 🙏

[Scorrie]

I said this recently on Twitter but I thought I’d mention it on here since it’s a really positive thread.

Pretty much exactly a year ago I took my daughter to school with tears in my eyes as I thought I was going to end things that day. Last week I took her to school with a smile on my face.

I’m in a far better place mentally than I was. It’s down to various factors but one of them has been the supportive I've received from family, friends and strangers in social media. Yet they would never have helped me if I hadn’t spoken about it.

I don’t know the answers but I do know you can help fight mental health issues by talking about your problems and feelings. If I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. But there’s a chance I wouldn’t be taking my daughter to school.

If anyone wants a chat, just DM me. In the meantime, we’ve got this

Really good post and glad to hear that you are doing so much better. The strangers on social media is an interesting one and something that has been positive for me. You may have heard of him already but check out Aaron Connelly on Twitter. He plays for Fauldhouse Utd in the juniors and his story over the last 12 months has been dramatic but hugely positive. He and his wife have set up Time to Tackle, a football based group to help mental health sufferers through having a kickabout and the opportunity to talk. Well worth a read IMHO

[Greenworld]

I said this recently on Twitter but I thought I’d mention it on here since it’s a really positive thread.

Pretty much exactly a year ago I took my daughter to school with tears in my eyes as I thought I was going to end things that day. Last week I took her to school with a smile on my face.

I’m in a far better place mentally than I was. It’s down to various factors but one of them has been the supportive I've received from family, friends and strangers in social media. Yet they would never have helped me if I hadn’t spoken about it.

I don’t know the answers but I do know you can help fight mental health issues by talking about your problems and feelings. If I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. But there’s a chance I wouldn’t be taking my daughter to school.

If anyone wants a chat, just DM me. In the meantime, we’ve got thisFantastic heart warming post well done you.
This is a terrible time of year with the dark days and nights so to be feeling great is wonderful.
The nights are starting to stretch and I have to say mood is getting better with it hurry up the light nights [emoji16]

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[stu in nottingham]

I said this recently on Twitter but I thought I’d mention it on here since it’s a really positive thread.

Pretty much exactly a year ago I took my daughter to school with tears in my eyes as I thought I was going to end things that day. Last week I took her to school with a smile on my face.

I’m in a far better place mentally than I was. It’s down to various factors but one of them has been the supportive I've received from family, friends and strangers in social media. Yet they would never have helped me if I hadn’t spoken about it.

I don’t know the answers but I do know you can help fight mental health issues by talking about your problems and feelings. If I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. But there’s a chance I wouldn’t be taking my daughter to school.

If anyone wants a chat, just DM me. In the meantime, we’ve got this

Just wanted to join with others in wishing you well, mate. Fantastic to hear and I'm so pleased for you and your family. Well done and keep it going.

[Sylar]

Really good post and glad to hear that you are doing so much better. The strangers on social media is an interesting one and something that has been positive for me. You may have heard of him already but check out Aaron Connelly on Twitter. He plays for Fauldhouse Utd in the juniors and his story over the last 12 months has been dramatic but hugely positive. He and his wife have set up Time to Tackle, a football based group to help mental health sufferers through having a kickabout and the opportunity to talk. Well worth a read IMHO

I'd like to second this! I play with a weekly group of lads that Aaron helped get off the ground under the banner of "Kick Mental Health" (we're actually playing a charity 11-aside game against TtT in a couple of weeks) - we're based in Lanark and Livingston, and it's a weekly 7-aside game played in the right spirits. Aaron's story is quite incredible, and the idea of having a safe space to run around and get some exercise, and also Changing Room Chat afterwards is a fabulous endeavour.

[LustForLeith]

Hi folks,

Thanks for the messages of support. It’s weird, I’ve gone from being overwhelmed by depression and it talking about it to talking about depression and being overwhelmed by the support from people! I’m never happy!

Aaron Connolly is doing great work in the field of increasing mental health awareness and he deserves all the credit he gets.

I also volunteer at the changing Room and it’s amazing the amount of people you meet and become friends with through that. Maybe before one match there’s a meeting point for anyone who is feeling a bit low or who goes to games by themselves?

Thanks again. Tots emosh as the kids probably don’t say!

[lord bunberry]

I’ve tried to to write out a post and deleted it every time as I just can’t sum up how I feel. Things couldn’t be much worse, I’m not earning enough money to keep my head above water due to my depression. The financial problems make my mental health worse, but I still have a duty to my family. I will be absolutely honest and say that if it wasn’t for my beautiful precious little girl, I wouldn’t be here now. She is the only thing that keeps me going and I will never let her down. Failure is hard when it comes to children.

[Mibbes Aye]

I’ve tried to to write out a post and deleted it every time as I just can’t sum up how I feel. Things couldn’t be much worse, I’m not earning enough money to keep my head above water due to my depression. The financial problems make my mental health worse, but I still have a duty to my family. I will be absolutely honest and say that if it wasn’t for my beautiful precious little girl, I wouldn’t be here now. She is the only thing that keeps me going and I will never let her down. Failure is hard when it comes to children.

I don't really know what to say to you other than I hear you and am listening to you, and other people on here will be as well. Hopefully expressing how you feel, in the knowledge that others are listening and accepting without judgement, is some help. The more important part is you articulating how you are feeling, which you are doing very eloquently. It is not easy and my thoughts are with you.

[lord bunberry]

I don't really know what to say to you other than I hear you and am listening to you, and other people on here will be as well. Hopefully expressing how you feel, in the knowledge that others are listening and accepting without judgement, is some help. The more important part is you articulating how you are feeling, which you are doing very eloquently. It is not easy and my thoughts are with you.
Thank you. I can’t tell you how much this forum helps at times, even if we all don’t always see eye to eye.

[Mibbes Aye]

Thank you. I can’t tell you how much this forum helps at times, even if we all don’t always see eye to eye.

Some things are bigger than political views or whatever. It is a brave thing to be as honest as you are posting about your feelings. I hope that if it helps, you continue to do so. It must also make others feel safer about doing likewise, when they see someone else being candid and honest about the challenges they are experiencing. Good job.

[lord bunberry]

Some things are bigger than political views or whatever. It is a brave thing to be as honest as you are posting about your feelings. I hope that if it helps, you continue to do so. It must also make others feel safer about doing likewise, when they see someone else being candid and honest about the challenges they are experiencing. Good job.
Thank you again MA personally I enjoy the political discourse on this site. Being a hibs fan means you love everything hibs. When the game game ends that unity ends and we all go back to our natural beliefs.

[pontius pilate]

Like lord Bunberry I've tried to write then delete write then delete. January is over the hardest month they say yet every day is a struggle. Over xmas and new year all was well I had no issues got to spend time with my ex and daughter she is only an ex because of my illnesses we are still very close and hopefully we can reconcile anyway all was going well we had separate plans for new year and all were happy. I on the 29th dec decided that my time had come I cleaned my house took some pills went for a bath took more pills and laid on my bed hoping to not wake up I then got a call from my ex who knew something wasnt right my daughter then called me and stayed on the phone untill the police arrived. They turned up saw the note and what I had taken then off to the royal ed for an assessment. Since then I've been seeing a psychologist and had a different outlook I thought I was an inconvenience yet I realised I'm not. So I take every day now as a blessing yeah I have low points but hey I wake up every day and play everything by ear. God knows the last time I went to a game it's a mix of being g up and raring to go then it takes a hold and dont want to out to nah I cba today to then deciding last minute I'm going but I've left it too late. Anyway sorry for the long post I hope all are well

[Dalianwanda]

Like lord Bunberry I've tried to write then delete write then delete. January is over the hardest month they say yet every day is a struggle. Over xmas and new year all was well I had no issues got to spend time with my ex and daughter she is only an ex because of my illnesses we are still very close and hopefully we can reconcile anyway all was going well we had separate plans for new year and all were happy. I on the 29th dec decided that my time had come I cleaned my house took some pills went for a bath took more pills and laid on my bed hoping to not wake up I then got a call from my ex who knew something wasnt right my daughter then called me and stayed on the phone untill the police arrived. They turned up saw the note and what I had taken then off to the royal ed for an assessment. Since then I've been seeing a psychologist and had a different outlook I thought I was an inconvenience yet I realised I'm not. So I take every day now as a blessing yeah I have low points but hey I wake up every day and play everything by ear. God knows the last time I went to a game it's a mix of being g up and raring to go then it takes a hold and dont want to out to nah I cba today to then deciding last minute I'm going but I've left it too late. Anyway sorry for the long post I hope all are well

So glad you still here PP...Obviously I don’t know you but really happy that your seeing things differently. Just shows that if you wait around new though will pop up. Take care.

[GreenNWhiteArmy]

Always pop in to the holy ground to keep tabs on this thread

How we all doing just now?

I had a pretty rough 2019 physically and mentally due to some long term pain and depression/anxiety stretching 8 years or so

After numerous visits to docs and blood tests nothing was coming back. FINALLY given a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia - last week

Coming to terms with that news, but having a "label" and beginning a plan to manage it, I'm more hopeful of a long happy life than i was 6 months or so ago

[SteveHFC]

Always pop in to the holy ground to keep tabs on this thread

How we all doing just now?

I had a pretty rough 2019 physically and mentally due to some long term pain and depression/anxiety stretching 8 years or so

After numerous visits to docs and blood tests nothing was coming back. FINALLY given a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia - last week

Coming to terms with that news, but having a "label" and beginning a plan to manage it, I'm more hopeful of a long happy life than i was 6 months or so ago

I've been feeling rough for the last couple of weeks. Taking each day as it comes to get myself better.

[TRC]

I've just been signed off work for burn out, they are investigating if its diabetic burnout, as th last few weeks I've been so annoyed/tired with my diabetes, my girlfriend had said numerous times that I've just sat and ignored my blood sugar (which is unlike me) and I've felt myself that I could just ignore every aspect of my illness. I dont think I would do it. Talked with my diabetic team and they are worried that it will end with me doing precisely that just ignore it, they see it as suicide attempt althoughif I wanted to kill myself I'd find a much quicker way of doing it. Life is hard enough without the ****ty illness, 30 years I've had it and even when it's been good I dont feel physically or mentally better. Am actually at the end of my teather.

[wpj]

I've just been signed off work for burn out, they are investigating if its diabetic burnout, as th last few weeks I've been so annoyed/tired with my diabetes, my girlfriend had said numerous times that I've just sat and ignored my blood sugar (which is unlike me) and I've felt myself that I could just ignore every aspect of my illness. I dont think I would do it. Talked with my diabetic team and they are worried that it will end with me doing precisely that just ignore it, they see it as suicide attempt althoughif I wanted to kill myself I'd find a much quicker way of doing it. Life is hard enough without the ****ty illness, 30 years I've had it and even when it's been good I dont feel physically or mentally better. Am actually at the end of my teather.

So sorry to hear you are struggling. Is your GP understanding? I would make an appointment as soon as you are able, reach out to friends and family as well. Keep checking in here and contact any of us if we can offer any support, it's important you know you are not alone. Take care mate.

[Slavers]

Wim Hoffs guided breathing meditation and cold shower therapy works wonders for anxiety and helps maintain a positive mindset throughout the day.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I'm on a right downer just now, got concerns about every one of my immediate family for differing reasons, my head is scrambled and my emotions are just about managing to cope. I'm under the impression nobody has the same concerns for happy go lucky me which doesn't help much.

I feel my role in the family is very similar to the one that Del boy describes in Only Fools and Horses in the episode when grandad dies and he has to defend his upbeat mood at the wake in the flat to Rodney. It's not that easy.

[wpj]

I hope someone can support you in this "role" and take on some of the responsibility you feel you are having to deal with. As always, talk to someone, share your feelings, talking can really help. As always there are many of us using this forum who can help even to chat to. Take care

[lord bunberry]

I'm on a right downer just now, got concerns about every one of my immediate family for differing reasons, my head is scrambled and my emotions are just about managing to cope. I'm under the impression nobody has the same concerns for happy go lucky me which doesn't help much.

I feel my role in the family is very similar to the one that Del boy describes in Only Fools and Horses in the episode when grandad dies and he has to defend his upbeat mood at the wake in the flat to Rodney. It's not that easy.
You’re right it’s not that easy. People deal with things in different ways and if your coping mechanism is to be bright and bubbly you’re less likely receive support from the people around you. It’s something I’ve had to deal with for a long time.

[LustForLeith]

Alright folks,

It’s been a bit of a crazy year so far and we’re not even out of March.

There’s a lot of uncertainty over things like the Coronavirus. We don’t know what’s going to happen and this will have an effect on the mental health of many. Especially if we start to isolate.

Much like the thread that Pretty Boy started about Community updates, maybe it would be good to have a group for people suffering from mental health issues who could be isolated and cut off from others even more. Likewise, if anyone wants to chat then just drop me a PM.

Thanks

[hibsbollah]

Advice and guidance from Mind on the coronavirus and mental health.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/?fbclid=IwAR1gHYp6AL7bvowScCCcc5fWrk_jEzgsnuE6v3qJ cMs52knhFySOPzSNaFs

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

Advice and guidance from Mind on the coronavirus and mental health.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/?fbclid=IwAR1gHYp6AL7bvowScCCcc5fWrk_jEzgsnuE6v3qJ cMs52knhFySOPzSNaFs


We have had someone not turn up this week because she is so worried about getting the virus she has made herself unwell. It is a crying shame for her, as she needs to be in control of everything, and when the wind is in her sails, she is one of the most effective people that we have. She is completely sincere when she says that she would swap this for something more serious that people could see.

[hibsbollah]

If this whole CV thing is starting to send you into a downward spiral, consider the following;

Bit of positive news :

- China has closed down its last coronavirus hospital. Not enough new cases to support them.

- Doctors in India have been successful in treating Coronavirus. Combination of drugs used: Lopinavir, Retonovir, Oseltamivir along with Chlorphenamine. They are going to suggest same medicine, globally.

- Researchers of the Erasmus Medical Center claim to have found an antibody against coronavirus.

- A 103-year-old Chinese grandmother has made a full recovery from COVID-19 after being treated for 6 days in Wuhan, China.

- Apple reopens all 42 china stores,

- Cleveland Clinic developed a COVID-19 test that gives results in hours, not days.

- Good news from South Korea, where the number of new cases is declining.

- Italy is hit hard, experts say, only because they have the oldest population in Europe.

- Scientists in Israel likely to announce the development of a coronavirus vaccine.

- 3 Maryland coronavirus patients fully recovered; able to return to everyday life.

- A network of Canadian scientists are making excellent progress in Covid-19 research.

- A San Diego biotech company is developing a Covid-19 vaccine in collaboration with Duke University and National University of Singapore.

-Hearts are going bust.

Keep well :aok:

[Sir David Gray]

Just been advised to stay away from work for the foreseeable future due to having asthma. Going to work was the last thing I had left of my normal routine so I'm really struggling with the thought of having absolutely nothing to do for potentially several months.

This is hell.

[Keyser Sauzee]

Just been advised to stay away from work for the foreseeable future due to having asthma. Going to work was the last thing I had left of my normal routine so I'm really struggling with the thought of having absolutely nothing to do for potentially several months.

This is hell.

Feel for u, try taking up some online courses or learn a new language to give u something to do while in the house. I’m sure u will get free courses or lessons online. It may be a while but we will get back to normality so try and keep as positive as u can 👍🏼

[Sir David Gray]

Feel for u, try taking up some online courses or learn a new language to give u something to do while in the house. I’m sure u will get free courses or lessons online. It may be a while but we will get back to normality so try and keep as positive as u can ����

Cheers. I'm really not dealing with this very well at all. I know everyone is dealing with the same issues at the moment and some people are in a worse position than I am but the whole isolation stuff is really affecting me in quite a big way and now staying away from work for an indefinite amount of time is tough.

I might look into some online courses.

[AFKA5814_Hibs]

I've looked into this thread a few times and not commented, but thought it would maybe help others by giving my thoughts.

My teenage daughter has struggled with her mental health throughout her teenage years, she was bullied at school and self harmed, her arms are a mess with cut marks. Things came to a head about 18 months ago, when aged 14 she took an overdose of pills and spent a night at A&E. We got her help through CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Scotland), the last couple of years have been tough and she was on so many drugs we could have started up our own Pharmacy! Now, aged 16, she has left school, got herself a wee part time job and is off her meds. The last few days I've had a wee chat with her and she appears to be coping very well as all the uncertainty which could easily set her back, she did say if this had all happened about a year ago she would have been a mess.

I guess the reason behind this post is to show that things can seem really bad at times but there is always the hope that we can turn things around. Take care folks. :agree:

[Sir David Gray]

I've looked into this thread a few times and not commented, but thought it would maybe help others by giving my thoughts.

My teenage daughter has struggled with her mental health throughout her teenage years, she was bullied at school and self harmed, her arms are a mess with cut marks. Things came to a head about 18 months ago, when aged 14 she took an overdose of pills and spent a night at A&E. We got her help through CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Scotland), the last couple of years have been tough and she was on so many drugs we could have started up our own Pharmacy! Now, aged 16, she has left school, got herself a wee part time job and is off her meds. The last few days I've had a wee chat with her and she appears to be coping very well as all the uncertainty which could easily set her back, she did say if this had all happened about a year ago she would have been a mess.

I guess the reason behind this post is to show that things can seem really bad at times but there is always the hope that we can turn things around. Take care folks. :agree:

Thanks for sharing. I'm really glad to hear that your daughter is doing better and well done to her for getting a job. That alone will be so beneficial to her mental health.

[AFKA5814_Hibs]

Thanks for sharing. I'm really glad to hear that your daughter is doing better and well done to her for getting a job. That alone will be so beneficial to her mental health.

Thanks.

The change in her the last couple of months has been amazing. She went from being a cheery wee lass in Primary School, to being very introvert and spending all her time in her room, to back being cheery again. Everybody comments on how much better she appears. It was horrible watching her being so depressed at such a young age.

[Sir David Gray]

Thanks.

The change in her the last couple of months has been amazing. She went from being a cheery wee lass in Primary School, to being very introvert and spending all her time in her room, to back being cheery again. Everybody comments on how much better she appears. It was horrible watching her being so depressed at such a young age.

It must be awful as a parent to watch your child become so unhappy and not have any way of helping them.

The teenage years can be such a horrible time in someone's life. I hated high school and got bullied as well. It affected me a lot and to be honest I feel I'm still dealing with the effects of it today and that was from about 16 or 17 years ago.

Although I never reached the depths that your daughter got to, I often felt so alone and didn't feel like I could reach out to anyone.

It's great your daughter has managed to get the help that she needed and sounds like she's in a much stronger place already. Fingers crossed for her that it's onwards and upwards.

[HibsNI]

If this whole CV thing is starting to send you into a downward spiral, consider the following;

Bit of positive news :

- China has closed down its last coronavirus hospital. Not enough new cases to support them.


- Doctors in India have been successful in treating Coronavirus. Combination of drugs used: Lopinavir, Retonovir, Oseltamivir along with Chlorphenamine. They are going to suggest same medicine, globally.

- Researchers of the Erasmus Medical Center claim to have found an antibody against coronavirus.

- A 103-year-old Chinese grandmother has made a full recovery from COVID-19 after being treated for 6 days in Wuhan, China.

- Apple reopens all 42 china stores,

- Cleveland Clinic developed a COVID-19 test that gives results in hours, not days.

- Good news from South Korea, where the number of new cases is declining.

- Italy is hit hard, experts say, only because they have the oldest population in Europe.

- Scientists in Israel likely to announce the development of a coronavirus vaccine.

- 3 Maryland coronavirus patients fully recovered; able to return to everyday life.

- A network of Canadian scientists are making excellent progress in Covid-19 research.

- A San Diego biotech company is developing a Covid-19 vaccine in collaboration with Duke University and National University of Singapore.

-Hearts are going bust.

Keep well :aok:


Great post hibsbollah. First positive post I’ve seen in a while. As someone who has struggled with mental health issues in the past the last couple of weeks have been tough. When the News and media are constantly throwing words like death, virus, pandemic, enemy, war etc. On a 24 hour loop it can sometimes be a little overwhelming. Best thing I’ve done is just take a wee break from all news and social media and I’ve been encouraging others to do so, even just for a day or two.

Take care everyone. Our mental well-being is so so important alongside our physical health and don’t be afraid to speak up.

[stu in nottingham]

Note that one or two posters have mentioned the possibility of taking a course during the present circumstances. During my own time working in mental health it's always been noticeable the amount of people who chose to study counselling etc.in oder to understand their own mh issues. Just spotted this course in a positive psychology group Sunday evening which looks interesting. Don't be deterred by the $49 dollar tag, that's only if you require the certificate at the end of it. Otherwise it's totally free.

The Science of Well-being - Yale University

https://www.businessinsider.com/coursera-yale-science-of-wellbeing-free-course-review-overview?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sf-bi-main&utm_source=facebook.com&fbclid=IwAR2na3tdBzwarVy6-rYOOxyQwypneXZg2FlETSyMu5Zh-SmZ8KXfaSZ-I10&r=US&IR=T

[Sir David Gray]

Great post hibsbollah. First positive post I’ve seen in a while. As someone who has struggled with mental health issues in the past the last couple of weeks have been tough. When the News and media are constantly throwing words like death, virus, pandemic, enemy, war etc. On a 24 hour loop it can sometimes be a little overwhelming. Best thing I’ve done is just take a wee break from all news and social media and I’ve been encouraging others to do so, even just for a day or two.

Take care everyone. Our mental well-being is so so important alongside our physical health and don’t be afraid to speak up.

100% agree with that. I came off Facebook the other day and I am also trying to watch regular TV programmes which have nothing to do with the virus. I'm keeping in touch with the news but I am trying to keep it to a minimum as I'm finding it all a bit too much to cope with just now.

Not having any timescale for how long this is all going to last is the hardest part. If it was definitely 12 weeks then I could try to mentally prepare for that but it's really just a guess as no-one knows and it could be much longer than that.

[wpj]

Also some free courses here

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/?gclid=CjwKCAjwvOHzBRBoEiwA48i6Alay0TF3LQJsd0aeFPK qect0F15yZZ1s33f04k0V6U43FoCWVEk-wxoC5HgQAvD_BwE

Hope the link works

[CropleyWasGod]

It's a tough time for many, and I thought I would add my tuppence worth.

It's likely that many of us will experience a recurrence of old issues, and that some will be experiencing anxiety for the first time.

Most of my therapy clients over the last couple of years have been people struggling with anxiety and related conditions, and that will probably continue.

In the short-term, though, I am happy to have chats with anyone on here who is struggling; whether that be by PM here, by phone or online. This isn't a marketing exercise (I'm not looking for payment), but my way of doing my bit and passing on whatever tips and techniques that I can.

Stay safe :)

[wpj]

Thanks CWG, that's very kind 👍

[K-Zazu]

Also some free courses here

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/?gclid=CjwKCAjwvOHzBRBoEiwA48i6Alay0TF3LQJsd0aeFPK qect0F15yZZ1s33f04k0V6U43FoCWVEk-wxoC5HgQAvD_BwE

Hope the link works

Doesn’t work bud

[stu in nottingham]

Doesn’t work bud


https://www.open.edu/openlearn/

[wpj]

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/

Thanks Stu

[stu in nottingham]

Not having any timescale for how long this is all going to last is the hardest part. If it was definitely 12 weeks then I could try to mentally prepare for that but it's really just a guess as no-one knows and it could be much longer than that.

Maybe try to modify this way of thinking mate, looking too far ahead with any problem only causes anxiety, hence the old saying of 'one day at a time'.

Further to that, living in the present and learning how to increasingly do that is helpful. Looking back too often can be a contributor to depression, whilst living in the future too much, anxiety can lay there.

Living in the present isn't always easy, that's understood but with practice one can get better at it and i promise it's a better place to 'be'. I often have clients recovering from addictions who are doing well but say things like, i'm okay now Stu, but what's it going to be like in six months' time? My response is to ask them why they trouble themselves so with what 'might' happen then? To look after today, this very day is the way. When you wake up with God's (or whatever you believe in's) good grace, do the very same thing.

Sending love to all my pals in Scotland and others who read.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Maybe try to modify this way of thinking mate, looking too far ahead with any problem only causes anxiety, hence the old saying of 'one day at a time'.

Further to that, living in the present and learning how to increasingly do that is helpful. Looking back too often can be a contributor to depression, whilst living in the future too much, anxiety can lay there.

Living in the present isn't always easy, that's understood but with practice one can get better at it and i promise it's a better place to 'be'. I often have clients recovering from addictions who are doing well but say things like, i'm okay now Stu, but what's it going to be like in six months' time? My response is to ask them why they trouble themselves so with what 'might' happen then? To look after today, this very day is the way. When you wake up with God's (or whatever you believe in's) good grace, do the very same thing.

Sending love to all my pals in Scotland and others who read.

Well said mate, I think SDG could do himself some good from taking a wee break from posting daily updates on the number of new cases/deaths each day. Try and focus on something a tad more uplifting.

[Sir David Gray]

Well said mate, I think SDG could do himself some good from taking a wee break from posting daily updates on the number of new cases/deaths each day. Try and focus on something a tad more uplifting.

I am trying. Where's the Hearts administration thread? :greengrin

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I am trying. Where's the Hearts administration thread? :greengrin

There you go! 👏

[B.H.F.C]

I’ve suffered mentally in the past but, strangely, I’m not finding the current situation too difficult to deal with despite my job being under threat and so on.

I put my relatively clear mind down to exercise. Obviously, following the rules, I’ll only be able to get out running or whatever once a day. Luckily, I’ve got a bit space in the back garden that I can use to do some stuff as well.

I’m looking at the next few weeks as an opportunity to really build a bit of fitness. Generally, I do quite well during the week and then undo my good work at the weekend. Not going to have that issue for a considerable time now so that’s going to be the thing that gives me a positive focus.

[Scorrie]

My anxiety issues have started to spike a bit now. I’m asthmatic so am a bit concerned about the virus but my usual coping strategy - exercise- has largely been cut off and this lockdown isn’t helping. Also having a bit more alcohol than I usually have as stuck in the house and the temptation is there. Will need to make a real effort to try new or adapted coping strategies now

[CropleyWasGod]

This is one for all the therapists and counsellors out there.

The NHS are currently setting up a network to help staff with their mental health issues. It's only just started (I registered yesterday), and already they have over 2,000 volunteers.

PM me if you want to know the process.

[Iain G]

My anxiety issues have started to spike a bit now. I’m asthmatic so am a bit concerned about the virus but my usual coping strategy - exercise- has largely been cut off and this lockdown isn’t helping. Also having a bit more alcohol than I usually have as stuck in the house and the temptation is there. Will need to make a real effort to try new or adapted coping strategies now

Hey Scorrie, yeah its an odd and unsettling time and everyone I know, including myself, who have asthma or a respitory condition are having a bit of a wee panic about it, which is only natural I think.

What exercises can you do from home? Can you still get out on a bike, go for a run, go for a walk. Try not to focus on the things you now cant do and try look at new things you can do and try, its a chance to broaden horizons in some ways and to find new ways to put joy into your life and find some calm. It's bloody hard though!

There are plenty of online classes for things like Yoga or Pilates, great for mindfulness and for core strength and stretching, why not seek one or two out? And gyms and trainers are running fitness classes online. Plenty of ways to have fun and look silly in your lycra in front of the TV.

Would also think about putting that booze out of site, keep the beer out the fridge, nobody wants warm beer, well apart from the English :)

And don't be afraid to reach out to people if you are feeling down or blue or need to vent or just need some human contact. The best thing to come out of this will be that we get to know people better and will start to re-claim our friendships and sense of community. :agree:

Oh and Hearts are still going belly up :greengrin:thumbsup:

[CropleyWasGod]

On the note of exercise, Edinburgh Leisure members have access to videos of Les Mills classes.

I'm not sure if I can share it, but if anyone is interested, I'll have a look and see what can be done.

[stu in nottingham]

Some interesting posts.


I’ve suffered mentally in the past but, strangely, I’m not finding the current situation too difficult to deal with despite my job being under threat and so on.

I put my relatively clear mind down to exercise. Obviously, following the rules, I’ll only be able to get out running or whatever once a day. Luckily, I’ve got a bit space in the back garden that I can use to do some stuff as well.

I’m looking at the next few weeks as an opportunity to really build a bit of fitness. Generally, I do quite well during the week and then undo my good work at the weekend. Not going to have that issue for a considerable time now so that’s going to be the thing that gives me a positive focus.

Find this really interesting as the general premise regarding opportunity of it echoes mine. For some of the worst reasons we have a situation, an opportunity to make welcome and healthy changes to our lives, both physically and mentally. It's a time when many can take the time to stop, think about their lives and the world and reconsider formerly-held beliefs.

Regarding exercise, my next plan is to get back into this which I really recommend to people who are staying home. It was designed to do in a small space for a few minutes a day and has a plan which can be begun from very modest levels of fitness:

Royal Canadian Air Force XBX Plan
http://www.corvedale.com/5bx/xbxPlan.pdf


My anxiety issues have started to spike a bit now. I’m asthmatic so am a bit concerned about the virus but my usual coping strategy - exercise- has largely been cut off and this lockdown isn’t helping. Also having a bit more alcohol than I usually have as stuck in the house and the temptation is there. Will need to make a real effort to try new or adapted coping strategies now

I have found the opposite which has come as something of a surprise to me I have to say. I keep a few beers in the fridge at any old time but as i go out quite regularly they tend to remain untouched for months. In among all the madness re shopping at the moment I considered should I buy in a bit of a stock of bottles for those long evenings to come (I live alone). In practice what has happened is that whilst staying in the home since almost a week ago I haven't had a single drink in the home and not felt the 'loss' of it. The evening comes and it just feels a bit pointless taking a drink, sitting watching TB, listening to the radio or reading. I actually miss a long cold drink more than anything and a drink of juice can cover that. I'm really not sure about buying that beer in at all now.


This is one for all the therapists and counsellors out there.

The NHS are currently setting up a network to help staff with their mental health issues. It's only just started (I registered yesterday), and already they have over 2,000 volunteers.

PM me if you want to know the process.

It's great to hear about this, CWG. I work for a large registered charity and we have our own similar provision. I hope fellow therapists and counsellers also feel supported out there. Something that has not come as a surprise to me is that supporting other, perhaps less experienced people and slightly people on the team I work with is of benefit to me and makes me feel increasingly resilient and strong. I reckon you will know exactly what I mean by that.

Another little protective factor for me personally is a neighbour's friendly cat that has visited me for a long time and comes and sits on my lap every evening and demands a cuddle. A great companion.

[Scorrie]

Hey Scorrie, yeah its an odd and unsettling time and everyone I know, including myself, who have asthma or a respitory condition are having a bit of a wee panic about it, which is only natural I think.

What exercises can you do from home? Can you still get out on a bike, go for a run, go for a walk. Try not to focus on the things you now cant do and try look at new things you can do and try, its a chance to broaden horizons in some ways and to find new ways to put joy into your life and find some calm. It's bloody hard though!

There are plenty of online classes for things like Yoga or Pilates, great for mindfulness and for core strength and stretching, why not seek one or two out? And gyms and trainers are running fitness classes online. Plenty of ways to have fun and look silly in your lycra in front of the TV.

Would also think about putting that booze out of site, keep the beer out the fridge, nobody wants warm beer, well apart from the English :)

And don't be afraid to reach out to people if you are feeling down or blue or need to vent or just need some human contact. The best thing to come out of this will be that we get to know people better and will start to re-claim our friendships and sense of community. :agree:

Oh and Hearts are still going belly up :greengrin:thumbsup:

Many thanks Iain. Am doing Pilates in the house and getting out for walk (my one exercise a day!) I’m used to tennis and football so miss them. Also doing loads of reading etc. I have coping strategies - just need to adjust them for this situation! Thanks to others who have posted above as well. All really helpful. Aye and Hearts are still in bother👍

[wpj]

Staying at home, going for a walk daily but as a single dad I am missing my wee girl, I was in hospital last week we weren't able to meet up, now she is in isolation for another two weeks. I am recording poems and using WhatsApp when I can. It's really tough as I would be with her having fun but can't. She is four, five in July, I am lucky her mum is brilliant and I have no concerns other than missing her so much. It's kinda lonely without her.

[Phil MaGlass]

Many thanks Iain. Am doing Pilates in the house and getting out for walk (my one exercise a day!) I’m used to tennis and football so miss them. Also doing loads of reading etc. I have coping strategies - just need to adjust them for this situation! Thanks to others who have posted above as well. All really helpful. Aye and Hearts are still in bother👍

Just like tae add(if I may) that Pilates is also great for lower back problems, so if you are stiff in the back or find difficulty in bending, picking up things etc..give it a bash, i swear by it, had chronic back pain due to an accident playing fitba maaannnny years ago, now, I only feel something if I go a couple of weeks without doing Pilates, try it (or yoga):agree:
You will feel a bit stiff for a few days, but its worth it in the long run. I used to take Declofenac and Ibuprofen regularly, Not been to a doctor for years and havent taken anything for years either,

stay well.:aok:

[CropleyWasGod]

If anyone is struggling with sleep , and that often goes along with anxiety, I have a download that I give to all clients.

Give me a shout if you want me to send it to you.

[wpj]

I have downloaded Max Richter sleep and also Moby has some really good free downloads on his website. He really doesn't care about money and is totally happy for folk to download his music. Lovely guy.

[Scorrie]

Just like tae add(if I may) that Pilates is also great for lower back problems, so if you are stiff in the back or find difficulty in bending, picking up things etc..give it a bash, i swear by it, had chronic back pain due to an accident playing fitba maaannnny years ago, now, I only feel something if I go a couple of weeks without doing Pilates, try it (or yoga):agree:
You will feel a bit stiff for a few days, but its worth it in the long run. I used to take Declofenac and Ibuprofen regularly, Not been to a doctor for years and havent taken anything for years either,

stay well.:aok:

Many thanks! Aye Pilates is brilliant. I’ve been doing it for a few years now so know most of the moves etc so can do it at home. I really think it helped extend football career as well 👍

[Iain G]

If anyone is struggling with sleep , and that often goes along with anxiety, I have a download that I give to all clients.

Give me a shout if you want me to send it to you.

Audio book of "Craig Levein : Football Revolutionary" read by Ronnie Corbett?

[lord bunberry]

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

[B.H.F.C]

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

My anxiety in the past has been caused by thinking about what could happen. I’ve always found it easier to deal with something that has actually happened, or is happening, even if it’s negative. In this case, not having that ‘why me’ feeling makes a difference to the mindset I think. Everybody is being affected by this in some way.

[lord bunberry]

My anxiety in the past has been caused by thinking about what could happen. I’ve always found it easier to deal with something that has actually happened, or is happening, even if it’s negative. In this case, not having that ‘why me’ feeling makes a difference to the mindset I think. Everybody is being affected by this in some way.
Do you know I watched a guy on the news say the exact same thing. He said he’d suffered from anxiety all his life, but now that everything he’d been anxious about was happening he was remarkably calm. It’s our time buddy :greengrin

[overdrive]

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

I’m finding it the same. I suppose we are being forced to live in the moment more than normal.

[SteveHFC]

I have been suffering from my mental health for the last few months. Spoke to someone on the phone earlier today who's arranged for me to do some CBT over the next 8 weeks. Anyone had any experience with CBT and how it helped them?.

[Pretty Boy]

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.

You're not alone. Health anxiety crippled me for years. Even leaving the house was a challenge. When the Legionnaires outbreak happened in Edinburgh a few years back I was a wreck and eventually wore a GP down and got tested because I was such a state.

This is just too big. With anxiety the fear is often irrational, being afraid now is rational yet I'm quite calm about it. Maybe part of it is because of my own coping strategies. I'm not religiously watching the news and I'm not obsessing about new numbers as they are published. I see a few people doing that and, whilst it's good to be informed, it's something I wouldn't encourage. It's only going to be bad news for the next couple of weeks at least so it's a dangerous cycle to get into.

I have found myself getting a bit worked up late at night thinking about how long it could be before seeing people again but I'm able to get in under control quickly.

[Iain G]

I found this quite an interesting, reassuring and informative read:

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

[CropleyWasGod]

I have been suffering from my mental health for the last few months. Spoke to someone on the phone earlier today who's arranged for me to do some CBT over the next 8 weeks. Anyone had any experience with CBT and how it helped them?.

I had CBT years ago.

In short, it didn't work for me. Years later, I understand why.

I treated it as an academic exercise where, or so I thought, I would do the homework the therapist gave me and I'd be fine.... just like at school. When that didn't happen immediately, I got upset and confused, and it arguably made me worse in the short term.

Now, I hear myself saying the things that the therapist was trying to get me to understand all those years ago. So, arguably, it worked, but it took much longer than it was meant to :greengrin

DISCLAIMER. That is just my experience. I know that, for many, it really does work. I would suggest you go into it with an open mind and some self-compassion, and not to be hard on yourself if the results don't come right away.

Good luck :aok:

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I'm not religiously watching the news and I'm not obsessing about new numbers as they are published. I see a few people doing that and, whilst it's good to be informed, it's something I wouldn't encourage. It's only going to be bad news for the next couple of weeks at least so it's a dangerous cycle to get into.


It's becoming quite morbid, each to their own though I suppose.

[K-Zazu]

Having a bit of a hard time this week, was meant to be moving house but still stuck in a house where I am finding things difficult. It’s all about just trying to survive at the moment and hope i come out the other side with my mental health and freedom intact

[CropleyWasGod]

Having a bit of a hard time this week, was meant to be moving house but still stuck in a house where I am finding things difficult. It’s all about just trying to survive at the moment and hope i come out the other side with my mental health and freedom intact

When we are in new and difficult situations like this, our primitive mind takes over. We find ourself reacting with one of the 3 F's.... Fight, flight or freeze. Look around you, and you'll see lots of evidence of that. I'm guessing you might be in the 3rd group.

As humans, we also have access to an intellectual mind, but that gets shouted down when the primitive brain is in full flow. Even just knowing that can be helpful, as slowly the intellectual mind starts to make some kind of sense about everything.

Your sense of survival is absolutely normal.... it's a primitive response, of course, but no less valid for that. For most of us just now, that's what we're doing.

My mantra in these situations is.... "find what works for you, and keep doing it". Pretty soon, people get round to the 4th F.... **** it :greengrin

[wpj]

I am a single dad, I am really struggling not seeing my wee girl. I get on well with mum so that's a bonus but as I am at risk I cant see her. It is breaking my heart, we WhatsApp, she is four and very aware of what's going on, age appropriate of course. I am self isolating and have just started to go stir crazy, I have mental health issue on top of all this. I am writing this in the garden, late O clock.
Lucky I have my neighbours cat with me. My ex has my cat but she is very cool. I really miss my girl, I am watching videos of her. This really sucks. Stay safe netters

[Dalianwanda]

I am a single dad, I am really struggling not seeing my wee girl. I get on well with mum so that's a bonus but as I am at risk I cant see her. It is breaking my heart, we WhatsApp, she is four and very aware of what's going on, age appropriate of course. I am self isolating and have just started to go stir crazy, I have mental health issue on top of all this. I am writing this in the garden, late O clock.
Lucky I have my neighbours cat with me. My ex has my cat but she is very cool. I really miss my girl, I am watching videos of her. This really sucks. Stay safe netters

if you want a chat tmrw then i’m around...happy to listen..stick in dude

[Sir David Gray]

I am a single dad, I am really struggling not seeing my wee girl. I get on well with mum so that's a bonus but as I am at risk I cant see her. It is breaking my heart, we WhatsApp, she is four and very aware of what's going on, age appropriate of course. I am self isolating and have just started to go stir crazy, I have mental health issue on top of all this. I am writing this in the garden, late O clock.
Lucky I have my neighbours cat with me. My ex has my cat but she is very cool. I really miss my girl, I am watching videos of her. This really sucks. Stay safe netters

Hope you're ok pal. 💚

[wpj]

Thanks to you all. I am not coping, I will be ok tomorrow I'm sure. This is really Shte I cant sleep and cant go to work and i work for NHS. I am so lucky to have a garden I really need it.

[stu in nottingham]

Thanks to you all. I am not coping, I will be ok tomorrow I'm sure. This is really Shte I cant sleep and cant go to work and i work for NHS. I am so lucky to have a garden I really need it.

Please accept my offer of support too, buddy, anytime. So difficult I can imagine, the situation with your youngster. It is hard but when you find yourself projecting forwards too much try as much as you can to be in the moment. The present is the best place for all of us right now.

You make a point about your neighbour's cat. Funnily enough, similar for me too. I don't know who this boy belongs to - if indeed anyone at all but he's here every single day and back again in the evening, sitting on my lap or close to me. I've never really had pets but how comforting he is, living alone as I do. Can't overestimate how therapeutic him being in my home is for me. I'm guessing people's pets will never have received so much attention!

[wpj]

Please accept my offer of support too, buddy, anytime. So difficult I can imagine, the situation with your youngster. It is hard but when you find yourself projecting forwards too much try as much as you can to be in the moment. The present is the best place for all of us right now.

You make a point about your neighbour's cat. Funnily enough, similar for me too. I don't know who this boy belongs to - if indeed anyone at all but he's here every single day and back again in the evening, sitting on my lap or close to me. I've never really had pets but how comforting he is, living alone as I do. Can't overestimate how therapeutic him being in my home is for me. I'm guessing people's pets will never have received so much attention!

Thanks Stu, I always appreciate your support.
I had two cats, brother and sister, the sister passed away which broke my heart. Cash, the brother wonderfully named is pretty much aloof but when I go "home" he runs to me like a puppy. He is named after the man in black and just like Johnny he is a handful

[wpj]

if you want a chat tmrw then i’m around...happy to listen..stick in dude

Thanks, totally mad times, I appreciate your message just cant sleep going to make a loaf of bread, at least I have food to cook. Need to catch up on the cooking tips thread

[oconnors_strip]

Thanks to you all. I am not coping, I will be ok tomorrow I'm sure. This is really Shte I cant sleep and cant go to work and i work for NHS. I am so lucky to have a garden I really need it.

I work for the nhs aswell and will message you a contact number for staff to phone for help and support

[AFKA5814_Hibs]

It must be awful as a parent to watch your child become so unhappy and not have any way of helping them.

The teenage years can be such a horrible time in someone's life. I hated high school and got bullied as well. It affected me a lot and to be honest I feel I'm still dealing with the effects of it today and that was from about 16 or 17 years ago.

Although I never reached the depths that your daughter got to, I often felt so alone and didn't feel like I could reach out to anyone.

It's great your daughter has managed to get the help that she needed and sounds like she's in a much stronger place already. Fingers crossed for her that it's onwards and upwards.

Sorry, just noticed your reply SDG. The school were actually very supportive of her and cant complain about how they handled the situation. She is certainly much happier now she has left school, she is a teenager so still prone to a few moody turns, but much better, thanks.

As you say, you still have affects from your school days, so she probably will as well, it probably will never really leave her, but hopefully these will become less so as she becomes older.

[Sir David Gray]

Sorry, just noticed your reply SDG. The school were actually very supportive of her and cant complain about how they handled the situation. She is certainly much happier now she has left school, she is a teenager so still prone to a few moody turns, but much better, thanks.

As you say, you still have affects from your school days, so she probably will as well, it probably will never really leave her, but hopefully these will become less so as she becomes older.

That's really good to hear. :aok:

[Pretty Boy]

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

[Sir David Gray]

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

[Sylar]

I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.

My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.

I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.

"This, too, shall pass...".

[Pretty Boy]

I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.

My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.

I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.

"This, too, shall pass...".

I know there's a temptation at this time to feel you shouldn't be bothering a doctor. However there are still services available and maybe it's worth considering calling your GP. This will be something they will be used to hearing at the moment, you aren't alone. There will be guidelines in place so they will be able to advise and point you in the right direction.

In the shorter term you may find something useful here:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/looking-after-your-mental-health-during-coronavirus-outbreak

https://www.mind.org.uk/coronavirus-we-are-here-for-you/

In practical terms is there a way you and your wife could go for separate walks? Maybe one takes your daughter and one without and take the solo walk day about? A bit respite from all being cooped up together might be helpful.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.

[stu in nottingham]

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

i think of this time of lockdown as a process that will change and evolve in the type of challenges it presents as we go along. Like you, i've found myself staying up very late quite a bit (not necessarily unusual for me but it's always a flag that I react to when it happens too often). my own thoughts are that we need to be smart about creating helpful new routines - even though they may seems a bit pointless if at home. That's the basic stuff, get up a reasonable time, have a shave, make oneself presentable as if ready to face the world as usual. Keep mealtimes etc. That basic framework that we have in our lives that we hang off each day. the structure you say is missing, modify and make a new one.

I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.

Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.


That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

I sometime come across this thought process of 'how's it going to be in six months?'In more usual times I'm always tempted to reply with the question, 'and in six months, will you be asking the same question of six months hence?' These are exceptional times clearly though. Many have a tendancy to look for certainty and a guarantee of the future. How can these things be predicted in these unprecedented times? Quite simply, they cannot. i would one hundred per cent agree with your idea of living one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be and the fact that you have evolved a new routine shows how well you are adapting. Good stuff.

[SideBurns]

i think of this time of lockdown as a process that will change and evolve in the type of challenges it presents as we go along. Like you, i've found myself staying up very late quite a bit (not necessarily unusual for me but it's always a flag that I react to when it happens too often). my own thoughts are that we need to be smart about creating helpful new routines - even though they may seems a bit pointless if at home. That's the basic stuff, get up a reasonable time, have a shave, make oneself presentable as if ready to face the world as usual. Keep mealtimes etc. That basic framework that we have in our lives that we hang off each day. the structure you say is missing, modify and make a new one.

I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.

Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.



I sometime come across this thought process of 'how's it going to be in six months?'In more usual times I'm always tempted to reply with the question, 'and in six months, will you be asking the same question of six months hence?' These are exceptional times clearly though. Many have a tendancy to look for certainty and a guarantee of the future. How can these things be predicted in these unprecedented times? Quite simply, they cannot. i would one hundred per cent agree with your idea of living one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be and the fact that you have evolved a new routine shows how well you are adapting. Good stuff.

An occasional theme across different mental health problems addressed by Oliver Burkeman in his Saturday column in The Guardian is the pointlessness of continually worrying about the future, and the anxiety that inevitably causes meaning you can't enjoy the life you are actually living. It would be a strange person who hasn't felt anxious to some degree about the stuff that's going on at the moment, or surrendered to a compulsion to glance into an unknown future but I suppose it is just as pointless doing so now as at any other time.

My coping strategy this weekend has been to try to focus on the absurdity of it all. There is little most of us outside of the scientific & political world can do other than to follow the advice and realise that with every day that passes we're a day closer to the other side of this, whenever that may be. This probably sounds daft, but the lyrics to the Monty Python song, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' feel quite relevant right now!

[SideBurns]

A daft wee example of what I mean by the absurdity of the situation: I was walking home from the shops yesterday, and there was a guy walking towards me (looked a bit radge). We got to within about 30 feet of each other, and I decided to swerve inwards so we would keep the requisite distance when passing; at exactly the same time, he swerved in the same direction, and then we did the same back the other way. Eventually we sorted it out, and at the point of passing we both burst out laughing as if to say,"This is ridiculous!". I'm hating this bloody lockdown, but keeping my sense of humour is going to be one way of helping me through it.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

[Hibby Bairn]

I think the “PR game” the govt are currently playing is extremely unhelpful. Slow release of comments about “not being ready yet to lift lockdown”.... “awaiting the scientific evidence” etc.

People would much prefer certainty. People probably mostly accept it needs to extend. So the govt should just come out and say “till end April” or whatever and it’ll be reviewed again then. Then people can plan and get on with their lives. Acceptance and certainty is key.

[Jones28]

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

Jesus Hutchy, I’m so sorry for you and your dad. That is absolutely brutal.

[Just_Jimmy]

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? [emoji22]Mate that's awful. Thoughts to you and yours.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

[I'm_cabbaged]

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

I’ve got no words tbh HH. All you and family can do is look after each other mate, take care and god bless.

[Dalianwanda]

Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.

It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)

[CropleyWasGod]

Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.

It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)

Remind me, you're based in Ireland permanently, yeah?

If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I’ve got no words tbh HH. All you and family can do is look after each other mate, take care and god bless.

Thanks a lot, he has had another 2 since my last post. A guy he used to go fishing withs father in law and one of the old boys he drinks with on a Wednesday night.

[Dalianwanda]

Remind me, you're based in Ireland permanently, yeah?

If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?

Yeah over here perm....Saying that I had lost all my work 4 weeks ago & now busiest Ive been for a long time..Doing some work for HSE here too.

[CropleyWasGod]

Yeah over here perm....Saying that I had lost all my work 4 weeks ago & now busiest Ive been for a long time..Doing some work for HSE here too.

Good stuff :aok:

[HH81]

Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.

A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.

Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.

[wpj]

Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.

A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.

Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.

👍stay safe

[heidtheba]

Many thanks! Aye Pilates is brilliant. I’ve been doing it for a few years now so know most of the moves etc so can do it at home. I really think it helped extend football career as well 👍


That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.

Thanks for sharing this everyone.

[heidtheba]

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

So sorry to read that. Can't imagine how you're feeling but thoughts go out to you.

[heidtheba]

That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

I posted this in a different group ages ago, I'm not sure how helpful it can be to you both, but if it is, great.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
Hi all,
Hope we're all feeling as ok as we can about things right now. I know the thoughts about guilt and school (I'm a teacher), about giving up certain freedoms to self-isolate or go into quarantine are taking up a lot of our energy. I thought I'd share a few things I've learned in the past that helped me - feel free to totally ignore, cherry pick or use as you best see fit.
Ok, I basically spent 6 months in a form of quarantine back in 2009. I was out about once a week, had a few times where I could go on day trips and managed a night or two away when I was feeling better...but it was 6 months of pain due to chronic migraines. And there were times where I thought this would be my life. So I've got some experience of this in some ways. 1 - You will adjust to it. Like everything in life, it's often less scary than our minds first make it out to be. 2 - You will adjust and find there are some positives to it - time with family, the ability to do things that you wouldn't have allocated time towards. 3 - You realise that online communities can actually keep you sane (and you also realise some need ditched within minutes!) 4 - There's a lot of good advice out there on how to cope mentally. Once you start to pick this up, it kinda stays there. I used a lot of Stoic philosophy and this has changed my life. 5 - Use mental health tools to help. I get hugely increased anxiety and aspects of clinical depression around my migraines. I find that 'morning pages' REALLY help me. Get three sheets of A3 pages and handwrite whatever is in your mind. Rant. Let it all out. It's not a diary so you don't need to worry about formating, handwriting, spelling, grammar or anything. Just write. And do the full three pages. I usually end ranting at around the end of page 2 and then feel a lot more mellow by the end of page 3 as I seem to be on a constructive and positive 'upswing' by then. 6 - Finally, focus as much as you can on control. This is pure Stoic philosophy btw. Most things in our life are outwith our control. Learn to focus on what we can do. We can't control CV but we can look to help, check up on others and keep it constructive and positive. I'm not religious but this 'Serenity Prayer' is used by the Alcoholics Anonymous and is more Stoic than Christian; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
You'll be surprise as to how well you can cope with being at home. You'll pleasantly surprise yourselves I'm sure. There's SO much positivity and support in this group which we can all use.


Some extra things I've done to help me;

Keep a structure in your day
Work out all the things you can do that 'you never have time for' - inc that boring stuff like updating a CV, sorting out house insurance documentation etc
Morning pages really helped me
do weights, exercise
watch your diet
schedule treats

[Jones28]

That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.

Thanks for sharing this everyone.

Hi mate, yoga with Adrian is a YouTube channel and she does specials on back pain etc, she’s brilliant and pretty easy to watch as well.

[stu in nottingham]

Mental Health And Wellbeing in Covid-19 - resources.

https://wellbeingincovid19.com/?fbclid=IwAR1PJBsb7GYWF30sGE1gI0M-hzkkvkdO5VznqLZVcqAQR90olamuDALaFd8

[wpj]

Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.

Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.

[stu in nottingham]

Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.

Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.

I agree with those who talk of keeping a light routine mate. Might be a good idea to work yourself night by night back towards a normal-sh bedtime? I know these things seem unimportant in the scheme of things currently, many are not rushing off to work in the morning and so on, but I do believe something of a routine is a good idea and keeps us 'anchored' in our lives. Maybe finding a little meaning in the current situation is crucial for a significant amount ot people. We always try to 'make sense' out of life - it's what we do. Maybe you could emerge from any thoughts of a behavioural shut down by seeking out a couple of local seniors who could do with a wee helping hand of support at the moment? You may find it surprising how mutually beneficial that would be.

[wpj]

I agree with those who talk of keeping a light routine mate. Might be a good idea to work yourself night by night back towards a normal-sh bedtime? I know these things seem unimportant in the scheme of things currently, many are not rushing off to work in the morning and so on, but I do believe something of a routine is a good idea and keeps us 'anchored' in our lives. Maybe finding a little meaning in the current situation is crucial for a significant amount ot people. We always try to 'make sense' out of life - it's what we do. Maybe you could emerge from any thoughts of a behavioural shut down by seeking out a couple of local seniors who could do with a wee helping hand of support at the moment? You may find it surprising how mutually beneficial that would be.

My sleep pattern is shocking at the moment. This lockdown is really mucking with me now. Five weeks without seeing my wee girl is horrible. I know there are people worse off then me but this is kicking my arse.
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.

[stu in nottingham]

My sleep pattern is shocking at the moment. This lockdown is really mucking with me now. Five weeks without seeing my wee girl is horrible. I know there are people worse off then me but this is kicking my arse.
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.

Try not to worry about those 'people worse off than me' social comparisons wpj, they don't help and for some, it can actually make them feel even worse because of the guilt it creates. Remember that, like depression, this isolation and the feelings it creates will come and will go. There will be bad days and better days, hang in there.

[hibsbollah]

https://www.afp.com/en/news/3955/report-highlights-growing-concern-depression-among-footballers-doc-1qp5ba3

Hard to know which board this should go on, but 20% of 1600 players surveyed across Europe show signs of anxiety, 13% show signs of depression, due to covid lockdown. In a way not surprising but the numbers are really dramatic.

[SteveHFC]

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

[Sir David Gray]

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

Hope you're ok pal. :aok:

[Mibbes Aye]

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.
Hope the CBT helps, I hear a lot of positives about it and my personal view is it would work for me. Hope it works. Best wishes.

[wpj]

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

Stick in there mate, there are many of us here if you need a chat

[Dalianwanda]

For the last few weeks I’ve been hosting daily 15min guided meditations at 8.15am. No cost and anyone’s welcome to join in. Just on my facebook page john g coaching so like or follow and you’ll be able to join in if you fancy it.

[CropleyWasGod]

For the last few weeks I’ve been hosting daily 15min guided meditations at 8.15am. No cost and anyone’s welcome to join in. Just on my facebook page john g coaching so like or follow and you’ll be able to join in if you fancy it.

Good stuff 🙏

How's the take-up been?

[Dalianwanda]

Good stuff 🙏

How's the take-up been?

Cheers mate. It kinda fluctuates between 10 - 30 folk per live session then i just leave them up for a couple of days as there’s a good few cant make it so just watch the recording. Il just keep doing them as long as there’s people joining in :-)

[Smartie]

For the last few weeks I’ve been hosting daily 15min guided meditations at 8.15am. No cost and anyone’s welcome to join in. Just on my facebook page john g coaching so like or follow and you’ll be able to join in if you fancy it.

If you don’t mind me asking a daft question - what EXACTLY is meditation and what is it meant to achieve?

A friend of mine has pretty serious mental health issues for a while and went to stay at a place called Plum Village in France (he ended up staying for the best part of 10 years).

I think he’s now trained as a counsellor and he swears by meditation, but I’ve never really understood what it is about.

[Dalianwanda]

If you don’t mind me asking a daft question - what EXACTLY is meditation and what is it meant to achieve?

A friend of mine has pretty serious mental health issues for a while and went to stay at a place called Plum Village in France (he ended up staying for the best part of 10 years).

I think he’s now trained as a counsellor and he swears by meditation, but I’ve never really understood what it is about.

Its not a daft question :wink: Theres lots of different ways to meditate but broadly speaking its the practice of focussed attention. Noticing (being aware of) something such as breath, a feeling or a particular thought and using that as a reference point if the mind drifts off as something to come back to. I meditate on noticing awareness but that take a bit longer to explain ;-)

The only time we experience stress, anxiety ect is when we are engaged in thought about it. If we are judging the thought or feeling as bad wrong worse negative then the minds gonna get pretty active trying to work out what needs to be done to feel better. Meditating allows you to notice experience without any judgement (its not good or bad, it just is). If it 'just is' then theres no problem to be fixed so the mind has less to do so to speak.

What is it meant to acheive? Well in the actual practice of meditation your not trying to achieve anything but notice experience, move attention & allow it all. The by-product of doing this is that you may experience more sense of calm or peace. With more awareness of thoughts and emotions, you may not react or get caught up in them as much as you would have before.

A lot of people give up on meditation because its not giving them an experience they want. eg quiet mind, good feelings. Really what's happened is they have gone into the meditation judging the experience (thinking about it) and if its not giving that experience thinking they cant do it or its not for them. By going into it with no expectation you can never get it wrong.

Happiness, love, calm, peace are all our natural default settings (yes I know sometimes that can be hard to believe)they take no effort. When you arent engaged in thought you generally fall back into one of these. Anger, sadness, frustration etc all take a lot of effort to stay in. You have to engage in a lot of thought and push back on a lot of experience to stay in these states.

Ive taught and meditated for years but I still have all types of thoughts & I still experience all the emotions but I dont get as caught up in them as I used to. I can see the experience rather than be it. (and Im human so Im not saying that I always manage that ;-)

My focus these days is to point back to awareness. That thing thats almost impossible to describe thats been shining a light on every experience youve had since you were born. Everything appears and disappears within awareness but most people dont recognise this & focus on the temporary stuff that pops up in aware.

Anyway hope this helps a bit. As I say if you fancy joining in a do free sessions every day at 8.15....Best way to learn is to give it a try :-) Experience is everything

[CropleyWasGod]

I was about to post my own personal definition of meditation, but DW nailed it first :)

Suffice to say that, for me, it has been a major part of my own mental health toolbox for many years.

It's not an easy thing to do, yet at its heart, it couldn't be simpler. If you're keen to explore, I'd suggest a class or a guided meditation (such as DW's) to get your brain and body used to the basics

And, for the avoidance of doubt, it really doesn't need to be spiritual or religious.

[Captain Trips]

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

Yes, I take medication and have done for last 4yrs has helped me immensely. I guess it maybe why all this has not affected me really as a few years ago I would be making up negative scenarios regarding work etc. You sound like you are going about things correctly so stick with the medication and if after a while you feel the medication isn't right just tell them you want to try something else. You will credit the CBT and the Meds once you get on track but always remember to give biggest credit to yourself.

[HH81]

My mental health got really bad over the past month. I'm now doing CBT once a week and i'm on medication to help with my mental health. Hopefully i can get back to feeling better soon.

Steve, not sure what's up but if you need anything PM me.

[wpj]

I love this thread, has given me so much support in various ways.
Dalianwanda, I try to meditate but my mind keeps drifting off, I tend to overthink things but can't achieve that calmness.

[CropleyWasGod]

I love this thread, has given me so much support in various ways.
Dalianwanda, I try to meditate but my mind keeps drifting off, I tend to overthink things but can't achieve that calmness.

It's almost impossible for your mind not to wander. When it does, congratulate yourself for noticing, and bring your focus back to your breath.

[Dalianwanda]

I love this thread, has given me so much support in various ways.
Dalianwanda, I try to meditate but my mind keeps drifting off, I tend to overthink things but can't achieve that calmness.

Exactly what CWG said....The mind is always going to be throwing up thoughts and that’s cool. My attention drifts all the time but that’s not getting it wrong. Main thing is your noticed it and then just to bring it back.

I’ve recordings of the last few days on my page. Give that a go see how you get on.

I mentioned in my previous post it’s not about judging the experience. It’s all about just allowing all experience. Don’t try harder just allow more :-)

We’re so used to doing stuff to get an outcome. The by product of just allowing may be a calmer mind but don’t go into it with any expectation, go in with innocence.

[CropleyWasGod]

A Meditation student asks their teacher how long it will take them to gain enlightenment if they practice diligently.

"Ten years," says the teacher.

"Well, how about if I really work and double my effort?"

"Twenty years."

[wpj]

Exactly what CWG said....The mind is always going to be throwing up thoughts and that’s cool. My attention drifts all the time but that’s not getting it wrong. Main thing is your noticed it and then just to bring it back.

I’ve recordings of the last few days on my page. Give that a go see how you get on.

I mentioned in my previous post it’s not about judging the experience. It’s all about just allowing all experience. Don’t try harder just allow more :-)

We’re so used to doing stuff to get an outcome. The by product of just allowing may be a calmer mind but don’t go into it with any expectation, go in with innocence.

Thanks for the reply and also CWG. I do online meditation and it kinda works but I struggle to focus

[Smartie]

Its not a daft question :wink: Theres lots of different ways to meditate but broadly speaking its the practice of focussed attention. Noticing (being aware of) something such as breath, a feeling or a particular thought and using that as a reference point if the mind drifts off as something to come back to. I meditate on noticing awareness but that take a bit longer to explain ;-)

The only time we experience stress, anxiety ect is when we are engaged in thought about it. If we are judging the thought or feeling as bad wrong worse negative then the minds gonna get pretty active trying to work out what needs to be done to feel better. Meditating allows you to notice experience without any judgement (its not good or bad, it just is). If it 'just is' then theres no problem to be fixed so the mind has less to do so to speak.

What is it meant to acheive? Well in the actual practice of meditation your not trying to achieve anything but notice experience, move attention & allow it all. The by-product of doing this is that you may experience more sense of calm or peace. With more awareness of thoughts and emotions, you may not react or get caught up in them as much as you would have before.

A lot of people give up on meditation because its not giving them an experience they want. eg quiet mind, good feelings. Really what's happened is they have gone into the meditation judging the experience (thinking about it) and if its not giving that experience thinking they cant do it or its not for them. By going into it with no expectation you can never get it wrong.

Happiness, love, calm, peace are all our natural default settings (yes I know sometimes that can be hard to believe)they take no effort. When you arent engaged in thought you generally fall back into one of these. Anger, sadness, frustration etc all take a lot of effort to stay in. You have to engage in a lot of thought and push back on a lot of experience to stay in these states.

Ive taught and meditated for years but I still have all types of thoughts & I still experience all the emotions but I dont get as caught up in them as I used to. I can see the experience rather than be it. (and Im human so Im not saying that I always manage that ;-)

My focus these days is to point back to awareness. That thing thats almost impossible to describe thats been shining a light on every experience youve had since you were born. Everything appears and disappears within awareness but most people dont recognise this & focus on the temporary stuff that pops up in aware.

Anyway hope this helps a bit. As I say if you fancy joining in a do free sessions every day at 8.15....Best way to learn is to give it a try :-) Experience is everything

Thanks very much for the explanation.

I'm going to give it a shot - see you in the morning!

It sounds like it is exactly what I'm what I'm looking for.

[wpj]

Hopefully this doesn't annoy Dalianwanda but I have a copy of meditation for dummies, it is a useful guide. I have better luck with that than excel for dummies

[Dalianwanda]

Hopefully this doesn't annoy Dalianwanda but I have a copy of meditation for dummies, it is a useful guide. I have better luck with that than excel for dummies

haha...I've not read it to be honest..Im guessing it would have a lot of different practices and a fair bit of theory which is cool....but....remember its all about witnessing, moving attention & allowing what ever happens. If you find it helpful, birilliant. Theres a tendency for people to make it too complicated too quickly. Keep it simple so your not getting bogged down in techniques and just enjoy the experience. Dont spend to much time looking at the finger when pointing to the moon :-)

[heidtheba]

Hope this is ok to post here, I'm not trying to post an 'I'm ok so all is well' type of thing but...lockdown has suited me down to the ground. I've always known I was an introvert, even if I can appear social. I like being around people but the thought processes and stresses exhaust me. I find it hard. My big worry right now isn't how to cope with lockdown, I'm enjoying the tranquility (although obviously missing family and some friends and worried about global situation etc etc), my big worry is how I recover when we're right back into it.

I'm a teacher and I'm also involved in my own personal work which involves lots of meeting members of the public. I'm relaxed about being on lockdown but now worrying about coping with being back.
I'm already having 'back in work' arguments in my own head with people that have done nothing to wrong me. I'm going to go back over the posts about meditation. They've been really helpful, thank you.

[Keith_M]

I feel really weird saying this but is anyone else feeling remarkably better during this crisis? I’ve spent a hell of a lot of the past 10 years feeling down and thinking the worst about every possible scenario. Now that the **** has hit the fan I’m unbelievably upbeat, it might not last, but I hope I’m not the only one.


I realise this is an old post but just found it.

Just wanted to say... Wow! That's exactly how I've been feeling. I'm suddenly one of the calmest people around and have actually been helping other people get through their stress.

That's completely the opposite to the usual me :greengrin

[Dalianwanda]

Hope this is ok to post here, I'm not trying to post an 'I'm ok so all is well' type of thing but...lockdown has suited me down to the ground. I've always known I was an introvert, even if I can appear social. I like being around people but the thought processes and stresses exhaust me. I find it hard. My big worry right now isn't how to cope with lockdown, I'm enjoying the tranquility (although obviously missing family and some friends and worried about global situation etc etc), my big worry is how I recover when we're right back into it.

I'm a teacher and I'm also involved in my own personal work which involves lots of meeting members of the public. I'm relaxed about being on lockdown but now worrying about coping with being back.
I'm already having 'back in work' arguments in my own head with people that have done nothing to wrong me. I'm going to go back over the posts about meditation. They've been really helpful, thank you.

The cool thing is that your already noticing your having the 'back to work' arguments. For you to experience them you need to engage in thought about them. When you arent can you find them anywhere? So first thing, if you can see the thought you must be the witnesser of the thought. Those thoughts are nothing to do with you apart from being a temporary appearance within your awareness.

Worrying about the future doesnt mean your experiencing anything about the future, just a thought about it in the moment. As everything we experience is 'in our heads' for want of a better phrase the body is going to react the same whether its real or not. (I might think about food and salivate same as if I had a nice curry actually in front of me) So we have a feeling as a reaction to the thought. The feeling knows nothing about the thought its a biological reaction. So again play with seeing the thought for what it is and play with just allow that feeling to bubble up without doing anything else.

I dont like giving advice as such but just trying to point you back to somewhere I think you already realise you should be looking. Hope thats makes sense & if it doesnt feel free to ignore :greengrin

[Smartie]

I mentioned to my other half that I was going to do the meditation session this morning to calm my brain down a bit as I was buzzing.

She said that I seemed calmer than the whole time we've been together, 12 years, which I am really.

Yesterday was just a bit mad in many ways. I'm on a WhatsApp group with old Uni mates, we all have similar businesses etc and we're trying to pick our way through this crisis. One of the lads turned his phone off for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and came back to 269 messages. I've got computer open, windows and tabs everywhere, phone buzzing - in many ways I'm all over the place.

In many ways I'm perfectly calm. Every meal for weeks with my partner and daughter. Plenty of sleep. Minimal day to day work related aggro. Been able to work on some self help stuff throughout.

Just need to sort out the constant mental stimulation situation as it's pretty exhausting.


Really enjoyed the session this morning Dalianwanda.

[Dalianwanda]

I mentioned to my other half that I was going to do the meditation session this morning to calm my brain down a bit as I was buzzing.

She said that I seemed calmer than the whole time we've been together, 12 years, which I am really.

Yesterday was just a bit mad in many ways. I'm on a WhatsApp group with old Uni mates, we all have similar businesses etc and we're trying to pick our way through this crisis. One of the lads turned his phone off for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and came back to 269 messages. I've got computer open, windows and tabs everywhere, phone buzzing - in many ways I'm all over the place.

In many ways I'm perfectly calm. Every meal for weeks with my partner and daughter. Plenty of sleep. Minimal day to day work related aggro. Been able to work on some self help stuff throughout.

Just need to sort out the constant mental stimulation situation as it's pretty exhausting.


Really enjoyed the session this morning Dalianwanda.

Thats a cool realisation..

Glad you enjoyed it dude :-) That's the thing with thoughts, feelings and stuff, its always on the move always on the go. The awareness isnt. Thats why I generally anchor back to that at the end of the meditation. That peace is there all the time, it doesnt go anywhere its just we tend to look elsewhere for it and forget where its always been.

Hope to see you there again soon :-)

[Greenworld]

Hope this is ok to post here, I'm not trying to post an 'I'm ok so all is well' type of thing but...lockdown has suited me down to the ground. I've always known I was an introvert, even if I can appear social. I like being around people but the thought processes and stresses exhaust me. I find it hard. My big worry right now isn't how to cope with lockdown, I'm enjoying the tranquility (although obviously missing family and some friends and worried about global situation etc etc), my big worry is how I recover when we're right back into it.

I'm a teacher and I'm also involved in my own personal work which involves lots of meeting members of the public. I'm relaxed about being on lockdown but now worrying about coping with being back.
I'm already having 'back in work' arguments in my own head with people that have done nothing to wrong me. I'm going to go back over the posts about meditation. They've been really helpful, thank you.Its great reading in I'm the same because i feel safe in my private we world this lockdown is like heaven .
I can go we walks and seem to be more sociable . Then i can retreat to safety.
I totally get the guys worrying about going back into the big bad world so to speak but just maybe the slow re- entry everyone is going to face might just be a blessing for all those heading back into the working world.
As always i say to people what helps me the most is ejecting everthything from my life that pulls me down! Right now there is nothing so I'm like you guys in a good place .
Let's all learn from now try and apply it to our life's going forward . Its ok to be not ok .
Lecture over LOL




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[CropleyWasGod]

Its great reading in I'm the same because i feel safe in my private we world this lockdown is like heaven .
I can go we walks and seem to be more sociable . Then i can retreat to safety.
I totally get the guys worrying about going back into the big bad world so to speak but just maybe the slow re- entry everyone is going to face might just be a blessing for all those heading back into the working world.
As always i say to people what helps me the most is ejecting everthything from my life that pulls me down! Right now there is nothing so I'm like you guys in a good place .
Let's all learn from now try and apply it to our life's going forward . Its ok to be not ok .
Lecture over LOL


Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

I have heard a lot of people saying similar things.

There's something about the slowing of pace , the silence, and the peace that a lot of people are going to miss. If one takes a spiritual view of the pandemic.... that Mother Earth is giving us a kicking.... that new attitude that you suggest is going to be so important going forward.

[Hibby Bairn]

I have heard a lot of people saying similar things.

There's something about the slowing of pace , the silence, and the peace that a lot of people are going to miss. If one takes a spiritual view of the pandemic.... that Mother Earth is giving us a kicking.... that new attitude that you suggest is going to be so important going forward.

When I was out for a long walk today I found myself, unexpectedly, getting “angry” with people driving cars particularly those going fast or playing really loud music. Bordering on hatred 😂.

I couldn’t wait to get off the main road and into a park.

I haven’t filled my own car with petrol since 14th March and other than going to supermarkets I haven’t driven at all for 2 months.

Bizarre.

[Scorrie]

I have heard a lot of people saying similar things.

There's something about the slowing of pace , the silence, and the peace that a lot of people are going to miss. If one takes a spiritual view of the pandemic.... that Mother Earth is giving us a kicking.... that new attitude that you suggest is going to be so important going forward.

I agree with a lot of that. I struggled with anxiety and depression going into lockdown probably due to a huge change in routine and no access to exercise which is a key part of my coping strategy. I sort of then got into the lockdown mode and enjoyed the peace. I now find myself anxious about coming out of lockdown with life going from 0-60 in 5 seconds and the risk of being overwhelmed. It really is going to have to be one step at a time over the next few weeks and months...

[wpj]

I change from day to day, the thing I have enjoyed the most (apart from my walks and sitting in the garden) has been reconnecting with friends who I haven't talked to for years, haven't laughed so much in ages

[Greenworld]

I do hope that we can learn from what we are all we are saying. Don't just go back to the way it was before when this is all over.
Change your way of living , if you can?
Slow down , take time for yourself , keep doing the walks , the 5000 or 10000 steps a day .
Even at work can you cut back ,don't do overtime if you don't have to keep that time for you!
We all are spending so much less , why is that?
Pouring our money down the drain at pubs, gambling, driving, eating out well i bet most of savings is from some of that as we cannot do any of it.
It is an eye opener to me how little you actually need to live on if you cut out these things.
Even just cutting back a bit helps.
It really is uplifting reading all the comments but let's learn and lets try and keep this way.
Its really good right?


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[Hibby Bairn]

I do hope that we can learn from what we are all we are saying. Don't just go back to the way it was before when this is all over.
Change your way of living , if you can?
Slow down , take time for yourself , keep doing the walks , the 5000 or 10000 steps a day .
Even at work can you cut back ,don't do overtime if you don't have to keep that time for you!
We all are spending so much less , why is that?
Pouring our money down the drain at pubs, gambling, driving, eating out well i bet most of savings is from some of that as we cannot do any of it.
It is an eye opener to me how little you actually need to live on if you cut out these things.
Even just cutting back a bit helps.
It really is uplifting reading all the comments but let's learn and lets try and keep this way.
Its really good right?


Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

The spending reduction has been a real insight. As a household we are spending at least 50% less each of the last 2 months. Little or no petrol, eating out, coffees and cakes, days out doing “stuff”, the pub, less takeaways. And we are still keeping up subscriptions to clubs which we might not continue come June. Questioning the need for two cars. Etc.

I still want to go and do most of this stuff but I guess it also shows how little you do actually need if you didn’t and opted for a simple life.

[CropleyWasGod]

I do hope that we can learn from what we are all we are saying. Don't just go back to the way it was before when this is all over.
Change your way of living , if you can?
Slow down , take time for yourself , keep doing the walks , the 5000 or 10000 steps a day .
Even at work can you cut back ,don't do overtime if you don't have to keep that time for you!
We all are spending so much less , why is that?
Pouring our money down the drain at pubs, gambling, driving, eating out well i bet most of savings is from some of that as we cannot do any of it.
It is an eye opener to me how little you actually need to live on if you cut out these things.
Even just cutting back a bit helps.
It really is uplifting reading all the comments but let's learn and lets try and keep this way.
Its really good right?


Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

Yep, it is really good. It might turn out that it's us crazies who were right all along.

Moan the mentals....:na na:

[SideBurns]

Yep, it is really good. It might turn out that it's us crazies who were right all along.

Moan the mentals....:na na:

It's been a proud boast for decades:

"We are the Mental Hibees!"

The rest of the world will be playing catch up.

[overdrive]

I’ve gone from being OK at the start to struggling a bit now. It is mainly work that is the issue. They are heaping the pressure on to be even more productive and work long hours. I’m on Microsoft Teams calls often back-to-back from 8.30 through to 5 with a quick break for lunch then expected to do work off the back of that. I feel absolutely shattered and I’m struggling to sleep. My lower back often feels completely numb come 5/5.30. I miss the social interaction at work where you can have a short bitch with a colleague at the tea point to let off steam. I’m working on a big project at the moment and the plan is obviously push this through to avoid financial penalties and to hell with the complications that home working brings to that.

When I look at neighbours out in their gardens reading presumably because they are furloughed I feel jealous of them. Then I feel really guilty because of that as there’s folk really struggling financially at the moment.

I was meant to be putting my house on the market and getting my divorce finalised but that is all on hold and the uncertainty around that isn’t helping either.

[heidtheba]

I’ve gone from being OK at the start to struggling a bit now. It is mainly work that is the issue. They are heaping the pressure on to be even more productive and work long hours. I’m on Microsoft Teams calls often back-to-back from 8.30 through to 5 with a quick break for lunch then expected to do work off the back of that. I feel absolutely shattered and I’m struggling to sleep. My lower back often feels completely numb come 5/5.30. I miss the social interaction at work where you can have a short bitch with a colleague at the tea point to let off steam. I’m working on a big project at the moment and the plan is obviously push this through to avoid financial penalties and to hell with the complications that home working brings to that.

When I look at neighbours out in their gardens reading presumably because they are furloughed I feel jealous of them. Then I feel really guilty because of that as there’s folk really struggling financially at the moment.

I was meant to be putting my house on the market and getting my divorce finalised but that is all on hold and the uncertainty around that isn’t helping either.

If 'letting off steam' is causing you issues, have you ever tried 'morning pages'? I use it when I'm stressed and it helps me a lot. Hand write three a4 pages. Crap handwriting, rubbish grammar etc doesn't matter. Just 'mind-dump' and say anything and everything. But stick to three pages. Usually I'm 'done' ranting after two and having to do the final page lets me return more to a constructive and even positive 'even keel'. Then you can chuck it in the bin after, job done. You're not being Anne Frank, just letting off steam.

[heidtheba]

The cool thing is that your already noticing your having the 'back to work' arguments. For you to experience them you need to engage in thought about them. When you arent can you find them anywhere? So first thing, if you can see the thought you must be the witnesser of the thought. Those thoughts are nothing to do with you apart from being a temporary appearance within your awareness.

Worrying about the future doesnt mean your experiencing anything about the future, just a thought about it in the moment. As everything we experience is 'in our heads' for want of a better phrase the body is going to react the same whether its real or not. (I might think about food and salivate same as if I had a nice curry actually in front of me) So we have a feeling as a reaction to the thought. The feeling knows nothing about the thought its a biological reaction. So again play with seeing the thought for what it is and play with just allow that feeling to bubble up without doing anything else.

I dont like giving advice as such but just trying to point you back to somewhere I think you already realise you should be looking. Hope thats makes sense & if it doesnt feel free to ignore :greengrin

Advice much appreciated! And apologies for taking time to reply with my thanks. All good advice and yes, thoughts aren't facts but God they feel like they are. Meditation and morning pages here I come.
Thanks.

[Smartie]

I’ve gone from being OK at the start to struggling a bit now. It is mainly work that is the issue. They are heaping the pressure on to be even more productive and work long hours. I’m on Microsoft Teams calls often back-to-back from 8.30 through to 5 with a quick break for lunch then expected to do work off the back of that. I feel absolutely shattered and I’m struggling to sleep. My lower back often feels completely numb come 5/5.30. I miss the social interaction at work where you can have a short bitch with a colleague at the tea point to let off steam. I’m working on a big project at the moment and the plan is obviously push this through to avoid financial penalties and to hell with the complications that home working brings to that.

When I look at neighbours out in their gardens reading presumably because they are furloughed I feel jealous of them. Then I feel really guilty because of that as there’s folk really struggling financially at the moment.

I was meant to be putting my house on the market and getting my divorce finalised but that is all on hold and the uncertainty around that isn’t helping either.

This sounds like daft advice but do you have any time off or holidays planned?

It sounds like you've got an awful lot on your plate right now.

When the "big project" is complete, I'd be looking to take some time off if I were you.

Try not to pay too much attention to other people - some will be better off than you right now, some will be worse off. You've just got to keep fighting your own battles, one at a time.

And when you get that time off - don't feel in the least bit guilty about it, you've earned it.

All the best.

[SteveHFC]

Hope you're ok pal. :aok:


Hope the CBT helps, I hear a lot of positives about it and my personal view is it would work for me. Hope it works. Best wishes.


Stick in there mate, there are many of us here if you need a chat


Steve, not sure what's up but if you need anything PM me.

Thanks guys. Appreciate it. :aok:


Yes, I take medication and have done for last 4yrs has helped me immensely. I guess it maybe why all this has not affected me really as a few years ago I would be making up negative scenarios regarding work etc. You sound like you are going about things correctly so stick with the medication and if after a while you feel the medication isn't right just tell them you want to try something else. You will credit the CBT and the Meds once you get on track but always remember to give biggest credit to yourself.

My mind constantly overthinks everything and makes up negative scenarios. I have to google every thought that appears in my head. Medication is helping me so far and CBT is working. I always put myself down saying i can't do this thing or that thing. I struggle with anxiety and confidence daily. So i'm just taking one day at a time.

[Dalianwanda]

My mind constantly overthinks everything and makes up negative scenarios. I have to google every thought that appears in my head. Medication is helping me so far and CBT is working. I always put myself down saying i can't do this thing or that thing. I struggle with anxiety and confidence daily. So i'm just taking one day at a time.

The cool thing is at least you are noticing that it makes things up (I cannot emphasise how important that noticing is). What would happen if when you noticed a negative scenario popping up you were just cool with it & did nothing?

When you say "constantly" is this 100% of your day with no exception? Is there ever a moment when things feel just fine? Even just a short one.

Sorry you may not be up for answering these..but something to check in on.feel free to PM

[Greenworld]

Thanks guys. Appreciate it. :aok:



My mind constantly overthinks everything and makes up negative scenarios. I have to google every thought that appears in my head. Medication is helping me so far and CBT is working. I always put myself down saying i can't do this thing or that thing. I struggle with anxiety and confidence daily. So i'm just taking one day at a time.Steve your not alone on what your describing in fact it is very much what i have suffered for years. It does not have to be a hard task or job but i doubt myself and my ability to do it. Panic sets in often i freeze unable to move with fear and anxiety and run away from it.
Fight or flight as my doc describes it well i have always choose flight.
I got prescribed citalopram and have been taking them for two years now. The difference is incredible i still have issues but most of the time i can deal with it.


Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

[wpj]

Steve your not alone on what your describing in fact it is very much what i have suffered for years. It does not have to be a hard task or job but i doubt myself and my ability to do it. Panic sets in often i freeze unable to move with fear and anxiety and run away from it.
Fight or flight as my doc describes it well i have always choose flight.
I got prescribed citalopram and have been taking them for two years now. The difference is incredible i still have issues but most of the time i can deal with it.


Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

Sertraline I'm on, together with my cardiology meds I rattle when I walk. Not sure how effective they are but I think they keep me at least a wee bit saner than without them

[overdrive]

This sounds like daft advice but do you have any time off or holidays planned?

It sounds like you've got an awful lot on your plate right now.

When the "big project" is complete, I'd be looking to take some time off if I were you.

Try not to pay too much attention to other people - some will be better off than you right now, some will be worse off. You've just got to keep fighting your own battles, one at a time.

And when you get that time off - don't feel in the least bit guilty about it, you've earned it.

All the best.

The project is due to go on for another year. Any holiday just heaps on more pressure. I was in the position last year (due to this project also) where I had only had a week off all year by December. I have two days booked in for the start of June but it looks like I’m going to have to cancel them due to shifting deadlines.

It is frustrating when the senior staff openly say “nobody should be feeling like they are working at 100% right now” then privately heap on the pressure and make unrealistic demands.

[stu in nottingham]

This fantastic thread has seemed relatively quiet considering the great pressures on people's mental health the past couple of months. i do hope that people in general are managing and coping. There's a lot of advice out there but sometimes there's nothing better than spraffing with your mates about how you're doing.

I've led a pretty solitary life the past (almost) ten weeks, save for working from home providing telephone counselling. I've come to understand that I can feel strong and resilient very much most of the time but that there's a need to be in acceptance that there will be a bad day or time here and there.

[LustForLeith]

Hi folks,

Well done to everyone whose contributed to this thread. It takes amazing bravery to talk a out your feelings.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m a volunteer at The Changing Room which helps men in their middle years tackle depression through football. We have a twelve week programme based at Easter Road which has great backing from Hibs.

In the current climate it’s impossible to have a 12 week programme at Easter Road but it doesn’t mean that we can’t support people on other ways. As a result there’s going to be a five week virtual programme starting soon.

It’s going to be a challenge as it takes away from the things that made the Changing Room a success is that it was held in Easter Road and gave participants a change to spend a bit of time in a place they know and love while feeling supported. However, it’s something that everyone involved is keen to face.

If you’re looking for more information then drop the team an email at [email protected]
while there’s more information here http://hibs.thechangingroom.org.uk/

Thanks

[Scorrie]

This fantastic thread has seemed relatively quiet considering the great pressures on people's mental health the past couple of months. i do hope that people in general are managing and coping. There's a lot of advice out there but sometimes there's nothing better than spraffing with your mates about how you're doing.

I've led a pretty solitary life the past (almost) ten weeks, save for working from home providing telephone counselling. I've come to understand that I can feel strong and resilient very much most of the time but that there's a need to be in acceptance that there will be a bad day or time here and there.

Just checked back in here. Is anyone else feeling a bit anxious about coming out of lockdown? I’ve found it hugely disruptive yet have carried on working at home. Perhaps it’s the anxiety of another change coming soon which I’m finding a bit hard to take...

[Dalianwanda]

Just checked back in here. Is anyone else feeling a bit anxious about coming out of lockdown? I’ve found it hugely disruptive yet have carried on working at home. Perhaps it’s the anxiety of another change coming soon which I’m finding a bit hard to take...

I’ve got worries about what’s to come & how i’ll cope how things will change. Thing is the feeling of anxiety only comes when i’m thinking about it. When i’m not what’s coming isn’t a problem.

Respect for acknowledging it...Who knows how you will cope but you’ve coped up till this point..Through the biggest change to our lives any of us have. There’s gonna be changes again for sure....talking about it acknowledging it knowing that a bit of anxious thinking is ..the changing rooms initiative sounds like a great please to allow that to happen..always about if you want a blether

[stu in nottingham]

Beacause it's largely uncharted ground i reckon there's bound to be anxieties about returning to whatever 'normal' is. I wouldn't say I feel anxious personally but there is this feeling of 'coming out of the cave' a bit. To understand that this will be the case will be helpful I think.

I read an account of a guy who lives in Glasgow who took a year-long retreat high up on a mountain in China. There were what sounded like a handful of people at the retreat but if I recall he was the only English-speaking person - another isolating factor. In addition, they were cut off for long periods in the winter.

What he stated was that it took him around a week to adapt to his new situation on the mountain. However, when he came back to Glasgow it took him four times as long - a month to adapt back again. He found everything too fast and too loud, the pace of things was problematic to him. i think small steps back 'into life' again might well be the way.

[Scorrie]

Thanks both. It will be small steps back out there for me. Even getting in the car driving after 5 weeks was weird. Taking one step at a time will be important...

[Dalianwanda]

Thanks both. It will be small steps back out there for me. Even getting in the car driving after 5 weeks was weird. Taking one step at a time will be important...

Sounds like a plan :-). Do remember to check in with those small steps once done & give yourself a bit of credit.

[Sylar]

Hi folks,

Well done to everyone whose contributed to this thread. It takes amazing bravery to talk a out your feelings.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m a volunteer at The Changing Room which helps men in their middle years tackle depression through football. We have a twelve week programme based at Easter Road which has great backing from Hibs.

In the current climate it’s impossible to have a 12 week programme at Easter Road but it doesn’t mean that we can’t support people on other ways. As a result there’s going to be a five week virtual programme starting soon.

It’s going to be a challenge as it takes away from the things that made the Changing Room a success is that it was held in Easter Road and gave participants a change to spend a bit of time in a place they know and love while feeling supported. However, it’s something that everyone involved is keen to face.

If you’re looking for more information then drop the team an email at [email protected]
while there’s more information here http://hibs.thechangingroom.org.uk/

Thanks

If this is anything like the group I'm involved with, thank you for what you do, and let me recommend it to anyone who needs a bit of camaraderie and/or support!

I got involved with a group called Kick Mental Health at the tail end of last year, in Lanark. It involves a group of around 14 (sometimes more) guys getting together every Wednesday for a game of 7 aside, with a combined 'Changing Room Chat' before, during and after for anyone who wants it.

I'm dreadfully bad compared to some of the guys that play weekly, but it's a great laugh and knowing that you're playing with likeminded guys who appreciate the break for a game is liberating.

There have been twice-weekly Zoom catch-up sessions throughout lockdown, but I'm normally 'zoomed out' by the time they happen so haven't joined one yet, but they've been hugely successful by all accounts.

[Scorrie]

Sounds like a plan :-). Do remember to check in with those small steps once done & give yourself a bit of credit.

Really good advice. Too frequently forget to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes. Got back to playing tennis which is great and have first post lockdown golf booked next week which will be interesting if nothing else. I’ll tick off a couple of more things as I do them...👍

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

My old man had his first days fishing of the new season yesterday, he was like a wee bairn on Xmas Eve on Thursday night, this will have a hugely positive impact on his mental health after my mum's recent passing.

[Hiber-nation]

My old man had his first days fishing of the new season yesterday, he was like a wee bairn on Xmas Eve on Thursday night, this will have a hugely positive impact on his mental health after my mum's recent passing.

That's brilliant to hear 👍

[SideBurns]

My old man had his first days fishing of the new season yesterday, he was like a wee bairn on Xmas Eve on Thursday night, this will have a hugely positive impact on his mental health after my mum's recent passing.

Good to hear- hard enough going through the grieving process without being able to get out and do the things you enjoy.

I heard yesterday from a pal in the brewing industry (one of the major world brewers) that pubs are hopeful of a UK wide reopening on 4 July (can only assume they expect the 2 metre thing to be reduced, otherwise that will be difficult), so you might be able to get your auld man out for a pint in the not too distant future!

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Good to hear- hard enough going through the grieving process without being able to get out and do the things you enjoy.

I heard yesterday from a pal in the brewing industry (one of the major world brewers) that pubs are hopeful of a UK wide reopening on 4 July (can only assume they expect the 2 metre thing to be reduced, otherwise that will be difficult), so you might be able to get your auld man out for a pint in the not too distant future!

We've managed to get a socially distanced can or two out and about now again (Water of Leith the venue today).

[SideBurns]

We've managed to get a socially distanced can or two out and about now again (Water of Leith the venue today).

The weather is at least allowing for the al fresco drinking experience! You won't be alone in that today. Enjoy the beer at the Water of Leith with your dad; one of my favourite walks (done the St.Columba's Hospice charity walk along the entire route a few times, great feeling when you get down to the famous port gasping for a jar!).

Apologies for seemingly combining this thread with the wildlife/ drinking threads!!

[Sylar]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Hope things work out ok for you mate.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

The weather is at least allowing for the al fresco drinking experience! You won't be alone in that today. Enjoy the beer at the Water of Leith with your dad; one of my favourite walks (done the St.Columba's Hospice charity walk along the entire route a few times, great feeling when you get down to the famous port gasping for a jar!).

Apologies for seemingly combining this thread with the wildlife/ drinking threads!!

It was a bit of a family gathering, unfortunately my uncle took a stumble early on and split his head open! Waterfall between Bonnington and St Mark's Park couldn't have been a much more difficult spot for the ambulance to get to. We were fearing the worst but, I believe he's getting a few stitches and being kept in for observation.

[Sir David Gray]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

I hope you get the help and support that you need, well done on taking that first step.

Take care of yourself.

[wpj]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Give her the biggest cuddle, she knows you and trusts you and loves you. You have been incredibly honest and brave talking about this. Take care and don't beat yourself up.

[stu in nottingham]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Sorry to hear about the family upset, Sylar, these sure are trying times for us all aren't they. Just wanted to add my two-penn'orth to what others have said, just recalling a few things from my own study in child psychology.

I think you actually did every right after the event. When we get angry we go into survival mode, your heart is racing, your breathing shallow and your muscles tense. Our thinking becomes unclear. People say take a few deep breaths and this, figuratively, is what you did afterwards.

Classic advise is to watch out for the re-trigger but you have no pattern for what happened. Even though your little girl is very young lots can be done to make amends quickly and repair the situation. It's good to find something that you can do together that brings you close, playing games, going for a walk, visiting the playground. It's especially good to find a new activity.

Glad that you found the Samaritans helpful. I sometimes think people only have the concept that they're there for people who are having dangerous suicidal thoughts. It's far from the case, they're there to talk and point you towards others who can help you, as they have done here.

The point about your friends appearing able to cope is worth considering. Would they actually report it if they weren't? Quite likely it's the case they struggle to cope at times too. It's a bit like other problems where people stay silent about them for fear of being judged.

I always think much of what anxiety tends to be about is the unknown. I have no idea of your personal circumstances at this time but it's fair to say that general anxiety has been severely spiked by current previously uncharted circumstances for a majority. Certainly if the psychometric tests that I carry out with clients are any indication, it has become a major problem in many, exacerbated by the world we're living in at the moment.

If you don't mind me saying, please allow yourself to cut yourself a bit of slack. We must all do this at the moment in my view. Guilt feelings or feeling ashamed too may be natural but they sure play havoc with your self-esteem and they're often overplayed and uneccesary. We don't want that for you, Take care.

[Mibbes Aye]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.


Very honest post. While reading it, I was thinking of replying and then saw that wpj and Stu had said pretty much all I would say.

Young children are hard work. My two are older now, and to be honest, still hard work sometimes, but I never had to look after them in these circumstances. It has been clear in your recent posts that it has been challenging for you and that is understandable.

Talking to Samaritans was a positive step, they will give you the space and time to talk and they will listen and help you explore how you are feeling. And they are there 24 hours, won’t judge and won’t restrict you to one call. And yes, they will ask about suicidal thoughts, but as Stu says, that’s what they do and the main remit is emotional support through listening and asking some pertinent questions.

My tuppenceworth re having a child that age is try and be as consistent as possible in your behaviour, don’t beat yourself up if you lose it and don’t over-compensate in the aftermath if you do.

[wpj]

I have just been for a walk with a dear friend from Edinburgh who lives just up the road from me here in Cambridge, we walked well apart from each other but we met raving in 1990 and have met all over Europe partying, it feels so strange to not have a hug and a cuddle, I'm glad to have the company but I miss the contact

[stu in nottingham]

I have just been for a walk with a dear friend from Edinburgh who lives just up the road from me here in Cambridge, we walked well apart from each other but we met raving in 1990 and have met all over Europe partying, it feels so strange to not have a hug and a cuddle, I'm glad to have the company but I miss the contact

Try to keep your mind on the fact that the hugs are only very temporarily delayed mate - not cancelled.

As an aside, (not aimed at you W) I think the effect of so many people repeating this mantra about a 'new normal' is a bit misleading and I'm yet to be convinced about this as a concept. I've a notion that people are using this idea to psychologically help them deal with the current situation and that's fine. The signs that I see are those indicating that people simply cannot wait to pick up their lives, in the main, just as they were previously. To be close with others, social and to lose the artifical inhibitions of lockdown

People will yield to demands, pressures and social customs just as they always have, as soon as they are able. We need and feel comfortable in our routines, long-held. To some extent we made them that way and they help us make sense of the world.

'Meet the new boss, same as the old boss'.

[Sylar]

Thank you all for your comments and the time taken in many of your posts - weekend ended up being a little rough, but we have so many excellent phone services available to us in these strange times, that I was able to benefit from speaking to people until I could get my GP this morning.

I've had an anxiety diagnosis for quite some time, but today I was also diagnosed with both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually feel a little relieved though - I have a diagnosis, I have a plan to tackle it and I'm aware how much support is widely available. I accepted the suggestion to go onto medication, and I feel ready to do what I need to in order to get back to myself (if that doesn't sound too grandiose).

Alcohol a strict no-no on my medication apparently, which is maybe just as well as I've been drinking WAY too much during lockdown.

[wpj]

Thank you all for your comments and the time taken in many of your posts - weekend ended up being a little rough, but we have so many excellent phone services available to us in these strange times, that I was able to benefit from speaking to people until I could get my GP this morning.

I've had an anxiety diagnosis for quite some time, but today I was also diagnosed with both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually feel a little relieved though - I have a diagnosis, I have a plan to tackle it and I'm aware how much support is widely available. I accepted the suggestion to go onto medication, and I feel ready to do what I need to in order to get back to myself (if that doesn't sound too grandiose).

Alcohol a strict no-no on my medication apparently, which is maybe just as well as I've been drinking WAY too much during lockdown.

I'm off the booze, have been for a while but have slipped up and drunk again occasionally. I was in hospital last week after having a stroke even being sober for months, last drink was in March. Now taking even more care and avoiding alcohol.

[CropleyWasGod]

I didn't know this was still a thing here.

BBC News - ECT depression therapy should be suspended, study suggests
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52900074

Anyone on here had it?

[stu in nottingham]

I didn't know this was still a thing here.

BBC News - ECT depression therapy should be suspended, study suggests
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52900074

Anyone on here had it?

Hard to believe it's stil going on isn't it. The last I read of it two or three years ago its use was on the increase too.

Have your brains fried by the NHS.

[CropleyWasGod]

Hard to believe it's stil going on isn't it. The last I read of it two or three years ago its use was on the increase too.

Have your brains fried by the NHS.

I can understand the motivation. There were times when I have thought "a re-boot sounds ideal", but those were the darkest of days when anything would be considered. Now I put it in the same bag as "cures" for sexual diversity.

This book finally put me off :-https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=aDknieG_EUMC&dq=electroboy&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjkxpS6_-XpAhXFh1wKHV-YBEkQ6AEIKDAA

[SteveHFC]

Hey chaps, a little update for me since my last post in here .

I've finished up my CBT which i had 8 sessions for. I would say to anyone in this thread if you get offered it do it. I found it incredibly useful. It really does teach you a different way to process things and help you understand your thoughts and feelings better. If anyone is unsure how CBT works. You can pm me and i can give you advice on the things I've learned about it. :aok:

I've been taking Sertaline once a day for the past month and it's helped me massively. I'm on it for another 2 months. It has helped me relax my mind and it has stopped overthinking a hundred things at a time in my head. My family, my close pals and my girlfriend have been a massive help to me over the past few months. If it wasn't for them being there for me. I would feel like i would have no one to talk too about how i was feeling and probably would have got even worse than i was.

[wpj]

Hey chaps, a little update for me since my last post in here .

I've finished up my CBT which i had 8 sessions for. I would say to anyone in this thread if you get offered it do it. I found it incredibly useful. It really does teach you a different way to process things and help you understand your thoughts and feelings better. If anyone is unsure how CBT works. You can pm me and i can give you advice on the things I've learned about it. :aok:

I've been taking Sertaline once a day for the past month and it's helped me massively. I'm on it for another 2 months. It has helped me relax my mind and it has stopped overthinking a hundred things at a time in my head. My family, my close pals and my girlfriend have been a massive help to me over the past few months. If it wasn't for them being there for me. I would feel like i would have no one to talk too about how i was feeling and probably would have got even worse than i was.




That's great Steve, sounds like you have the support and the treatment to help you. Stay safe

[wpj]

I haven't posted much here for a while. I have had two heart attacks and last month I had stroke. I have lost my ability to write and read. So, anxiety and depression is kicking my ass. I have just lost my job sue to ill health, im trying to get back o track but like I say, depression and anxiety is brutal. Thank god for spell change cos I can't write anymore

[Dalianwanda]

I haven't posted much here for a while. I have had two heart attacks and last month I had stroke. I have lost my ability to write and read. So, anxiety and depression is kicking my ass. I have just lost my job sue to ill health, im trying to get back o track but like I say, depression and anxiety is brutal. Thank god for spell change cos I can't write anymore
Watch yourself mate..Are they hopeful you’ll get your writing ability back? What do you need to do to help it?

[wpj]

Watch yourself mate..Are they hopeful you’ll get your writing ability back? What do you need to do to help it?

Thanks, I have some physio, but I have to take public transport to the hospital which is stressful in itself. I just watched the 6-2 game so feeling alot better.

[Mibbes Aye]

Thanks, I have some physio, but I have to take public transport to the hospital which is stressful in itself. I just watched the 6-2 game so feeling alot better.

The birdsong will be kicking in soon. Joy and noise in abundance.

Keep the wildlife thread updated with what you see. I only had one jackdaw mixing it with the rooks but now there are four, and the rooks are in double figures easily. No wonder the cats are staying clear. I will likely paste this onto the wildlife thread as it is better-placed there.

[wpj]

The birdsong will be kicking in soon. Joy and noise in abundance.

Keep the wildlife thread updated with what you see. I only had one jackdaw mixing it with the rooks but now there are four, and the rooks are in double figures easily. No wonder the cats are staying clear. I will likely paste this onto the wildlife thread as it is better-placed there.

Thanks, i will go to the wildlife thread, i just fed my fox, very cautious but i think we will become pals

[Mibbes Aye]

Thanks, i will go to the wildlife thread, i just fed my fox, very cautious but i think we will become pals

No doubt it will build up and he will come to rely on you and trust you.