Depression and anxiety

[Just Alf]

This thread has been a massive support for me too. There are other forums out there but I think as we all have Hibs in common it feels different somehow
Agree with this... just reading it has helped in the past.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

[Pretty Boy]

Can only echo others comments. Great thread and from the start of it, 4 years ago, to now it has been respectful, helpful and often touching. Best thread there has been on .net (perhaps with the exception of a few of the Scottish Cup ones!!)

Personally from where I was 5 or 6 years ago through this thread starting until now is like night and day. I'm feeling as good as I have in as long as I can remember and I genuinely believe this thread has played a big part in that. Thanks to all who have contributed. I'm sure many others have and will continue to be helped by your experiences.

[Mikey09]

I'd be happy to contribute to that. But does this thread not fulfil the same function?

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk


This thread is fantastic. One idea that was floating around my crazy head was a fans meeting group with the aim to support anyone who wants to come along. I'm sure if we spoke to the club they would get involved. Maybe meet once a month, play a bit of footy and then chat afterwards. Could be held at the training centre. It's just a wee idea.

[Mr White]

This thread is fantastic. One idea that was floating around my crazy head was a fans meeting group with the aim to support anyone who wants to come along. I'm sure if we spoke to the club they would get involved. Maybe meet once a month, play a bit of footy and then chat afterwards. Could be held at the training centre. It's just a wee idea.
I would think the community side of the club would help out with that idea if you take it to them :agree:

[Mikey09]

I would think the community side of the club would help out with that idea if you take it to them :agree:


I went to Gamblers Annonymous and just sitting sharing experiences was a massive help. Listening to people you can relate to their stories. Something along these lines would be a wonderful start. I'm not great at organising but would certainly be up for doing my bit. As I said it's amazing just what listening and being listened to can do for people.

[Pretty Boy]

I went to Gamblers Annonymous and just sitting sharing experiences was a massive help. Listening to people you can relate to their stories. Something along these lines would be a wonderful start. I'm not great at organising but would certainly be up for doing my bit. As I said it's amazing just what listening and being listened to can do for people.

It's a fine idea. An hours kick about, 5 a side or whatever and then if people wanted a chat afterwards.

Even if all it was was a bit of a laugh with a football I think it would do wonders for some. If it's an idea you wanted to take further let me know as I'd be happy to help if I could.

[wpj]

It's a fine idea. An hours kick about, 5 a side or whatever and then if people wanted a chat afterwards.

Even if all it was was a bit of a laugh with a football I think it would do wonders for some. If it's an idea you wanted to take further let me know as I'd be happy to help if I could.

Geographical reasons would prevent me from attending but it's a great idea. Recently moved from London to Hertfordshire and going to see Royston Town and talking to folk has really helped, also bizzarly met two Hibs fans at games (and no one hun)

[MSK]

I went to Gamblers Annonymous and just sitting sharing experiences was a massive help. Listening to people you can relate to their stories. Something along these lines would be a wonderful start. I'm not great at organising but would certainly be up for doing my bit. As I said it's amazing just what listening and being listened to can do for people.I think thats the crux of the matter, certainly in my early experience of depression, being listened to, Im sure Im not alone in having experienced a situation where you feel isolated but want to speak, but the so called experts out there (GPs/Therapists) are simply happy just to throw you a few tabs and send you on your way.

We are all diferent I suppose and no doubt a few simply didnt have anyone to speak to or reach out to nor in fact want to. I hope at least due to this thread that people feel less isolated and know that they have the confidence and freedom to communicate and reach out to others on here.

[Sergey]

Geographical reasons would prevent me from attending but it's a great idea. Recently moved from London to Hertfordshire and going to see Royston Town and talking to folk has really helped, also bizzarly met two Hibs fans at games (and no one hun)

Thread hijack.

Does Danny Braithwaite still get a game for Royston? He was more than capable at this level and almost broke into the league pyramid a few seasons ago.

I know him from his time at Harrow Borough and more recently Chesham.

BTW - I'll be at Harlow Town next week if you fancy a pint and a match.

[SRHibs]

I found a nootropic called Tianeptine effectively eliminated all my symptoms of anxiety/OCD. Pretty extraordinary. Unfortunately it's just been banned in the past few months due to the new law regarding legal highs.

[Mikey09]

It's a fine idea. An hours kick about, 5 a side or whatever and then if people wanted a chat afterwards.

Even if all it was was a bit of a laugh with a football I think it would do wonders for some. If it's an idea you wanted to take further let me know as I'd be happy to help if I could.


I agree. A wee kick about and a chat afterwards. It's certainly a start. I will private message you my phone number and we could get a chat.

[CropleyWasGod]

There's a focus group on Tuesday at ER , in conjunction with SAMH. Not sure what the format is, but maybe something social might come out of that?

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[wpj]

Thread hijack.

Does Danny Braithwaite still get a game for Royston? He was more than capable at this level and almost broke into the league pyramid a few seasons ago.

I know him from his time at Harrow Borough and more recently Chesham.

BTW - I'll be at Harlow Town next week if you fancy a pint and a match.

Don't know players name.G. can't do next week but will be in touch as i will be down before Christmas.

[One Day Soon]

I went to Gamblers Annonymous and just sitting sharing experiences was a massive help. Listening to people you can relate to their stories. Something along these lines would be a wonderful start. I'm not great at organising but would certainly be up for doing my bit. As I said it's amazing just what listening and being listened to can do for people.


That's a cracking idea.

I crash and burn most Novembers and every single time the eventual emergence from the deep dark hole is fuelled by remembering and doing the very simple formula: eat, sleep, move. When your demons are out of their cages the first thing they attack is proper nutrition, decent sleep and regular exercise at whatever level you can manage. So a game and company is better than a prescription in my view.

My Dad died at the end of October and was buried two weeks ago. Weirdly that doesn't seem to have tipped me over this November somehow.

Not meaning to be insensitive but if the club agreed to something like this it would be gagging to be called The Mental Hibees would it not?

[CropleyWasGod]

That's a cracking idea.

I crash and burn most Novembers and every single time the eventual emergence from the deep dark hole is fuelled by remembering and doing the very simple formula: eat, sleep, move. When your demons are out of their cages the first thing they attack is proper nutrition, decent sleep and regular exercise at whatever level you can manage. So a game and company is better than a prescription in my view.

My Dad died at the end of October and was buried two weeks ago. Weirdly that doesn't seem to have tipped me over this November somehow.

Not meaning to be insensitive but if the club agreed to something like this it would be gagging to be called The Mental Hibees would it not?

That's a great idea. Black humour always helps me :agree:

[Sylar]

It might not be it's own 'forum', but would people use a 'Group' if it was set up?

We already have a name for it clearly! :greengrin

[Shore Thing]

Where did you buy yours?I've had a look online and not very sure which ones are legit?

I've been using 'CBD Brothers'- their blue edition oil. It's very good quality and all organic/ no chemicals used in production. Get it from their website or Amazon (https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Health-Personal-Care/CBD-Brothers-Blue-Hemp-2000mg-25-10ml/B01ET607SU/).
I've found it simply takes away my anxiety, which has then given me more head space to consciously deal with the depression that comes from time to time.

[Greenworld]

Just coming out of a dark few weeks like most on here been suffering in silence for years. I took the plunge and visited the docs who I have to say was brilliant. The mere fact that he could understand a blubbering wreck was a bonus.
For the first time in my life I have gone on some medication and the difference already for me is fantastic.
Combined with ridiculous amounts of walking it is bringing me back to normality.
I was also told about a website which is free to visit and has help for all manner of problems for those who don't like the idea of talking in groups of even one to one. I will post the link later .


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[Greenworld]

Decided I should search for a new job as the current one is not helping my stress and anxiety. Thing is I will most likely be taking a drop in wages and wonder the best way to say this without going into too much detail. I don't want to say less stress incase they think I think their job is easy. Anyone been in this situation?
Yes I too decided on the drastic move of leaving my job as I felt it was adding or maybe even causing my stress/ anxiety attacks.
Like you I guess I will need to take a drop in wages and try and find something different.
Need to change my Cv but I'm thinking employers are going to say why is he applying for this type of job?


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[johnbc70]

I started a new job and absolutely hate it, having a terrible boss as well does not help. It's all I think about, even my kids have noticed a difference in me. I need to work to pay the bills but have some savings and seriously considering quitting and using my savings until I find something else.

[Greenworld]

I started a new job and absolutely hate it, having a terrible boss as well does not help. It's all I think about, even my kids have noticed a difference in me. I need to work to pay the bills but have some savings and seriously considering quitting and using my savings until I find something else.
It's not an easy decision especially if your the main wage and at this time of year.
However your health and wellbeing are the most important things.
Could you go off on the sick and still get paid?
It's not something I would advocate but so close to Xmas it might just get you through till you find something.

Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[wpj]

Yes I too decided on the drastic move of leaving my job as I felt it was adding or maybe even causing my stress/ anxiety attacks.
Like you I guess I will need to take a drop in wages and try and find something different.
Need to change my Cv but I'm thinking employers are going to say why is he applying for this type of job?


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

I am looking for a new job but am also worried that I will be asked why I am quitting this one without going into details. I have coped well with my career despite starting late on but the job I have now is really getting me down. Thing is i know i can do a good job with something I like, I have a good track record up until now

[wpj]

I started a new job and absolutely hate it, having a terrible boss as well does not help. It's all I think about, even my kids have noticed a difference in me. I need to work to pay the bills but have some savings and seriously considering quitting and using my savings until I find something else.

Ditto mate, been 17 months at this one and it's just not got better. Try to find another job before going into savings but if it's impossible then health comes first

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Its a tad extreme but, if you have already been to the doctors see if you can get signed off with stress (if you get paid sick leave) to get you through the festive season.

[CropleyWasGod]

I am looking for a new job but am also worried that I will be asked why I am quitting this one without going into details. I have coped well with my career despite starting late on but the job I have now is really getting me down. Thing is i know i can do a good job with something I like, I have a good track record up until now
"I am looking for something that better suits my personality and talents...." [emoji1]

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[wpj]

"I am looking for something that better suits my personality and talents...." [emoji1]

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

Ha, yea saw that last time I posted. 😊 still job hunting and hoping to hear back soon from applications. Thanks CWG

[johnbc70]

Ditto mate, been 17 months at this one and it's just not got better. Try to find another job before going into savings but if it's impossible then health comes first

Yes I will take it day by day now, but it's hard and feel I can't relax at night as I am already dreading going in next day.

Christmas is coming so get that over with and see how it goes.

I also spoke to someone in my team today who said they found it really tough at first as well but it got better.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Yes I will take it day by day now, but it's hard and feel I can't relax at night as I am already dreading going in next day.

Thats how I felt in my last place, was hardly getting a wink of sleep, massive weight off my shoulders when I managed to escape.

[heretoday]

Thats how I felt in my last place, was hardly getting a wink of sleep, massive weight off my shoulders when I managed to escape.

There's nothing worse than that cold feeling in the pit of the stomach as you approach a dreaded workplace. It's no way to live.

My only advice is to jack it and seek a more downscale job like pizza delivery or whatever.

[patch1875]

I posted early this year about my health anxiety, been in a pretty good place for the last few months other than problems with my neck and shoulders.

it must be the dark nights as I can feel it creeping up on me again starting to feel a bit edgy and my neck/back pain is really playing on my mind again.

determined not to let it ruin another Christmas.

[CropleyWasGod]

I posted early this year about my health anxiety, been in a pretty good place for the last few months other than problems with my neck and shoulders.

it must be the dark nights as I can feel it creeping up on me again starting to feel a bit edgy and my neck/back pain is really playing on my mind again.

determined not to let it ruin another Christmas.

Sometimes.... knowing that you normally feel crap at this time of the year is a good weapon to have. That feeling of "ahhhh, it's November. I normally take a dip round about now. I made it through last year, and all the other years, so I will make it through this year".

It's when it hits you for the first or second time, when you don't know what the F is going on, that it can be really scary.

[hibs#1]

I've been using 'CBD Brothers'- their blue edition oil. It's very good quality and all organic/ no chemicals used in production. Get it from their website or Amazon (https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Health-Personal-Care/CBD-Brothers-Blue-Hemp-2000mg-25-10ml/B01ET607SU/).
I've found it simply takes away my anxiety, which has then given me more head space to consciously deal with the depression that comes from time to time.


Thanks buddy will have a look for it,

[wpj]

Sometimes.... knowing that you normally feel crap at this time of the year is a good weapon to have. That feeling of "ahhhh, it's November. I normally take a dip round about now. I made it through last year, and all the other years, so I will make it through this year".

It's when it hits you for the first or second time, when you don't know what the F is going on, that it can be really scary.

Determined make this a great Christmas for me and mine. Not as easy as folk imagine. genuinly stoked for my daughter

[wpj]

Wee bump for this thread, not because it is apparently the most depressive day of the year, (I am sure sufferers will be more than aware of their own triggers) but because it hasn’t been on page 1 of the board for a while. Hope everyone is doing ok :agree: :aok:

[Greenworld]

Wee bump for this thread, not because it is apparently the most depressive day of the year, (I am sure sufferers will be more than aware of their own triggers) but because it hasn’t been on page 1 of the board for a while. Hope everyone is doing ok :agree: :aok:
I'm doing great but that's with the help of my happy pills Citalopram I have actually never felt this good for 10 years.
I'm on them till March and to be frank would happily take them forever the way I feel.
Not one anxiety attack for the last two months since I started on them.😀


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[MSK]

Wee bump for this thread, not because it is apparently the most depressive day of the year, (I am sure sufferers will be more than aware of their own triggers) but because it hasn’t been on page 1 of the board for a while. Hope everyone is doing ok :agree: :aok:Im doing grand, no medication, no visits to Doctors (for a long while) a few lifestyle changes have made my life much more tolerable & at the same time, enjoyable, onwards & upwards 👍

[wpj]

I have been succesful in finding a new job, the first one I interviewed for so hoping that will help with my work life balance. Less money but if I am happier you can't put a price on that!

[Greenworld]

I have been succesful in finding a new job, the first one I interviewed for so hoping that will help with my work life balance. Less money but if I am happier you can't put a price on that!
Well done I wish u well

Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[johnbc70]

I have been succesful in finding a new job, the first one I interviewed for so hoping that will help with my work life balance. Less money but if I am happier you can't put a price on that!

That's great news, well done.

I am in a job I cannot stand so started looking elsewhere, hope I find something like you.

Nothing worse than that sick feeling when you make your way to work in the morning.

[wpj]

That's great news, well done.

I am in a job I cannot stand so started looking elsewhere, hope I find something like you.

Nothing worse than that sick feeling when you make your way to work in the morning.

Also the night before especially Sunday night! It wasn't easy to start looking but I am glad I did. Hopefully in six months time I will look back at my previous job as ancient history it just didn't work. Hope you can find something too mate!

[johnbc70]

Also the night before especially Sunday night! It wasn't easy to start looking but I am glad I did. Hopefully in six months time I will look back at my previous job as ancient history it just didn't work. Hope you can find something too mate!

I know what you mean, I can't enjoy and relax at the weekends as I know what is around the corner.

[Sylar]

I'm at a pretty low trough just now - I keep experiencing crippling bouts of anxiety (out of nowhere, and with no obvious triggers) in the most random of places - found myself sitting under my desk at work the other day, just to be in a really confined spot away from everything (I have my own, private office).

Life is generally stressful at the minute - I'm not 100% content at work (and I've pretty much decided I can't be an academic, though I have no solid plan B, which horrifies me); I have a wee one on the way in April (our first); I can feel myself pushing friends away (and justifying it in my head) and I feel happiest when I'm on my own at the moment, away from people.

I don't really want to go through another visit to the doctor's, as I get waves like this, but I've tried my normal 'cures' of running, writing etc and very little is helping.

[CropleyWasGod]

I'm at a pretty low trough just now - I keep experiencing crippling bouts of anxiety (out of nowhere, and with no obvious triggers) in the most random of places - found myself sitting under my desk at work the other day, just to be in a really confined spot away from everything (I have my own, private office).

Life is generally stressful at the minute - I'm not 100% content at work (and I've pretty much decided I can't be an academic, though I have no solid plan B, which horrifies me); I have a wee one on the way in April (our first); I can feel myself pushing friends away (and justifying it in my head) and I feel happiest when I'm on my own at the moment, away from people.

I don't really want to go through another visit to the doctor's, as I get waves like this, but I've tried my normal 'cures' of running, writing etc and very little is helping.
Have you tried hypnotherapy?

From first-hand experience, it can help to make huge changes.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Greenworld]

I'm at a pretty low trough just now - I keep experiencing crippling bouts of anxiety (out of nowhere, and with no obvious triggers) in the most random of places - found myself sitting under my desk at work the other day, just to be in a really confined spot away from everything (I have my own, private office).

Life is generally stressful at the minute - I'm not 100% content at work (and I've pretty much decided I can't be an academic, though I have no solid plan B, which horrifies me); I have a wee one on the way in April (our first); I can feel myself pushing friends away (and justifying it in my head) and I feel happiest when I'm on my own at the moment, away from people.

I don't really want to go through another visit to the doctor's, as I get waves like this, but I've tried my normal 'cures' of running, writing etc and very little is helping.
Like u i tried everything but nothing worked I was just on a downward spiral.
I did not want to try drugs but I did and it has helped me more than I ever thought.
If you can't find another route don't give up on visiting your doctor

Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[wpj]

I'm at a pretty low trough just now - I keep experiencing crippling bouts of anxiety (out of nowhere, and with no obvious triggers) in the most random of places - found myself sitting under my desk at work the other day, just to be in a really confined spot away from everything (I have my own, private office).

Life is generally stressful at the minute - I'm not 100% content at work (and I've pretty much decided I can't be an academic, though I have no solid plan B, which horrifies me); I have a wee one on the way in April (our first); I can feel myself pushing friends away (and justifying it in my head) and I feel happiest when I'm on my own at the moment, away from people.

I don't really want to go through another visit to the doctor's, as I get waves like this, but I've tried my normal 'cures' of running, writing etc and very little is helping.

Sorry to hear that, I am a new parent, well she's 18 months now and I'm an old(er) dad at 50, while I feel guilty about being unhappy I can guarantee it is the most amazing experience. There are no rules to depression or anxiety. I go for major long walks every weekend with my wee girl and have started swimming with her again. It has helped me loads. Hope it does for you too, it ain't easy being a dad but it's so rewarding

[mrdependable]

hi all, i was interested to read about peoples depression and anxiety due to being stuck in a job they hated. I was in the same position a few months ago- stuck in a real rut and just counting the days to the weekend and then dreading Monday morning. It got to the stage where i just had to quit for my sanity-ive had mild depression for ages and I felt i was slowly getting worse. I was fortunate enough to be in a situation where i could do that.
I took some time off, did lots of voluntary work and shortly i start a completely different job, less well paid but one i think is better suited to my talents and I am looking forward to it...an alien feeling for me!
Anyway, if anyone wants some encouragement or help to make that change, i would recommend it and Im happy to help

[CropleyWasGod]

Our manager's thoughts on his own depression:-

Lennon is a complex fellow. While he uses the words “quiet” and “mellow” to describe his life today, bouts of depression still re-occur. “There have been sporadic episodes. As you get older they can be quite severe. The consolation is they’re not as prolonged as the first ones when I didn’t know what was happening. I’ve never got to the point where I’ve wanted to end it all but the episodes aren’t pleasant. Once 
out of them the world is definitely a 
better place.” What’s his coping mechanism? “Simplifying life. No alcohol, plenty of 
exercise, a bit of meditation. In that you learn to stay in the moment rather than look behind or ahead. Fifteen minutes of deep breathing and I can focus on myself and nobody and nothing else, which can be difficult if you’re a football manager.”

Read more at: http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/competitions/championship/interview-neil-lennon-on-trainspotting-and-a-cup-sequel-bid-1-4350987

[northstandhibby]

Our manager's thoughts on his own depression:-

Lennon is a complex fellow. While he uses the words “quiet” and “mellow” to describe his life today, bouts of depression still re-occur. “There have been sporadic episodes. As you get older they can be quite severe. The consolation is they’re not as prolonged as the first ones when I didn’t know what was happening. I’ve never got to the point where I’ve wanted to end it all but the episodes aren’t pleasant. Once 
out of them the world is definitely a 
better place.” What’s his coping mechanism? “Simplifying life. No alcohol, plenty of 
exercise, a bit of meditation. In that you learn to stay in the moment rather than look behind or ahead. Fifteen minutes of deep breathing and I can focus on myself and nobody and nothing else, which can be difficult if you’re a football manager.”

Read more at: http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/competitions/championship/interview-neil-lennon-on-trainspotting-and-a-cup-sequel-bid-1-4350987

I always admire folk who talk publicly about their mental problems as I think it can help others into seeking help for theirs.

Glory Glory

[lord bunberry]

Our manager's thoughts on his own depression:-

Lennon is a complex fellow. While he uses the words “quiet” and “mellow” to describe his life today, bouts of depression still re-occur. “There have been sporadic episodes. As you get older they can be quite severe. The consolation is they’re not as prolonged as the first ones when I didn’t know what was happening. I’ve never got to the point where I’ve wanted to end it all but the episodes aren’t pleasant. Once 
out of them the world is definitely a 
better place.” What’s his coping mechanism? “Simplifying life. No alcohol, plenty of 
exercise, a bit of meditation. In that you learn to stay in the moment rather than look behind or ahead. Fifteen minutes of deep breathing and I can focus on myself and nobody and nothing else, which can be difficult if you’re a football manager.”

Read more at: http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/competitions/championship/interview-neil-lennon-on-trainspotting-and-a-cup-sequel-bid-1-4350987
I admire him for speaking out about his depression, but as everyone on this thread will know depression is different for each and every one of us. I also have never got to the point where I've wanted to end it all, but if I'm being honest it's a thought that occurs to me on a daily basis. When I feel down I sometimes look for the easiest way out. Then I remember that I've got a loving family that I want to see when I get home.

[northstandhibby]

I admire him for speaking out about his depression, but as everyone on this thread will know depression is different for each and every one of us. I also have never got to the point where I've wanted to end it all, but if I'm being honest it's a thought that occurs to me on a daily basis. When I feel down I sometimes look for the easiest way out. Then I remember that I've got a loving family that I want to see when I get home.

Very true indeed. There are any number of individualistic reasons for becoming depressed or for suffering from anxiety. For a good number of years now the most vulnerable group for committing suicide are males reaching 40 and 50 so I'm led to believe. There's no easy one solution answer but to hear folk in the public domain publicly admitting they too suffer from mental health issues is helpful as it shows no matter how successful a person is or how much money they may have it does not prevent them from suffering such issues. A sufferer should try to get help even if its just talking to someone who will listen in an empathetic way.

Glory Glory

[CMurdoch]

I admire him for speaking out about his depression, but as everyone on this thread will know depression is different for each and every one of us. I also have never got to the point where I've wanted to end it all, but if I'm being honest it's a thought that occurs to me on a daily basis. When I feel down I sometimes look for the easiest way out. Then I remember that I've got a loving family that I want to see when I get home.

Yeah, I agree. Thinking about my wife and kids stops me from stepping over the line of no return.
It is a horrible condition which I would happily help others with, which is weird given I struggle with my own condition on a daily basis.

[stuart-farquhar]

After years of stress and anxiety coupled with SAD I chucked everything and moved to Spain.

Free from worrying about material goods, work and cold dark winters i was transformed. I live cheaply and mostly happily.I actually found a completely different person inside me.

Not for most people i know. But i jumped and 10 years later have no regrets.

[patch1875]

After years of stress and anxiety coupled with SAD I chucked everything and moved to Spain.

Free from worrying about material goods, work and cold dark winters i was transformed. I live cheaply and mostly happily.I actually found a completely different person inside me.

Not for most people i know. But i jumped and 10 years later have no regrets.

Keep thinking that's what I'd like to do eventually, I work outdoors so Im in the daylight every day but my body and mind must struggle without the vit D as my mood nose-dives when the clocks change.

[heretoday]

After years of stress and anxiety coupled with SAD I chucked everything and moved to Spain.

Free from worrying about material goods, work and cold dark winters i was transformed. I live cheaply and mostly happily.I actually found a completely different person inside me.

Not for most people i know. But i jumped and 10 years later have no regrets.
What do you do for money?

[stuart-farquhar]

What do you do for money?

Good point.

I have a pension.

Nothing much but it's enough to live the way i do.

[wpj]

Bump, any chance this could be merged with thee other one please Admins?, lots of good advice and support here.
Thanks

[bobbyhibs1983]

a very very intresting and helpful thread, though i ve not managed to read every post i have found comfort in knowing i am not the only one whom seems to be suffering from depression.
In my case , i found it hard to explain to people that feeling of darkness- i guess the nothing-like a lack of feeling anything but unhappy feelings.
Like a few people work is an issue and with my work, the lack of help was-is so damn frustrating.I had depression a couple of years ago and well got signed off from work, went back everythign seemed ok, not great but my mood had inproved to like a 5 outta 10 , way better than a 1 out of 10
In the last few months, before xmas i suddenly got those old feelings back,i am unsure if they ever went away or if i had tried to remain upbeat-postive or what the heck was going on(again i find it hard to explain things) but these feelings of darkness- worthlessness, no hope suddenly came flooding back and at one time(xmas is a tough time as it is)
With work- just the lack of help from my managers which really really made me feel even worse,I can see my job being realitively easy but with my mood,well being-health- the work seemed so hard-so tough- i guess it looked like i was so unable to do the jobs the manager asked.I did ask for help and if they could give me lighter duties for a little while and there response -"unless you have spoken to atos or get a line from your gp what can i do?" was the jest of it, which in turn made me feel so much worse.
another thing that sorta got to me in regard work is courses that may help me, but being *woman only* sorta made me fall deeper into a dark hole


I ,like many on the thread have tried to get into a routine of excersising, though finding it a little bit of a struggle getting into that routine,I however am determined to try fight this but starting off by walking round the block, slowly building it up every week, and hopefully, with better eating habits hopefully i can run a bit and inprove my stamina there!
thanks for reading and all the best to everyone !!:agree:

[wpj]

a very very intresting and helpful thread, though i ve not managed to read every post i have found comfort in knowing i am not the only one whom seems to be suffering from depression.
In my case , i found it hard to explain to people that feeling of darkness- i guess the nothing-like a lack of feeling anything but unhappy feelings.
Like a few people work is an issue and with my work, the lack of help was-is so damn frustrating.I had depression a couple of years ago and well got signed off from work, went back everythign seemed ok, not great but my mood had inproved to like a 5 outta 10 , way better than a 1 out of 10
In the last few months, before xmas i suddenly got those old feelings back,i am unsure if they ever went away or if i had tried to remain upbeat-postive or what the heck was going on(again i find it hard to explain things) but these feelings of darkness- worthlessness, no hope suddenly came flooding back and at one time(xmas is a tough time as it is)
With work- just the lack of help from my managers which really really made me feel even worse,I can see my job being realitively easy but with my mood,well being-health- the work seemed so hard-so tough- i guess it looked like i was so unable to do the jobs the manager asked.I did ask for help and if they could give me lighter duties for a little while and there response -"unless you have spoken to atos or get a line from your gp what can i do?" was the jest of it, which in turn made me feel so much worse.
another thing that sorta got to me in regard work is courses that may help me, but being *woman only* sorta made me fall deeper into a dark hole


I ,like many on the thread have tried to get into a routine of excersising, though finding it a little bit of a struggle getting into that routine,I however am determined to try fight this but starting off by walking round the block, slowly building it up every week, and hopefully, with better eating habits hopefully i can run a bit and inprove my stamina there!
thanks for reading and all the best to everyone !!:agree:

Work can be an issue as I have mentioned in previous posts. I am lucky in that I have changed jobs recently as my previous job was awful. Time will tell how this one goes but I'm glad to be out.
Exercise is good but the motivation can be difficult. Starting to do yoga and meditation again after a long time out, due to health reasons I am unable to do strenuous exercise so these are good options. All the best to you

[heidtheba]

Great to see so many people showing that this isn't something that 'only you/I' have. I've had elements of clinical depression due to migraine headaches and suffer from increasing anxiety due to the almost constant painkillers I'm on. Throw in a job I love, but a career that has been hit due to the migraines and a work environment that I find especially difficult and I've struggled these past years.
I recently took a 'gap' year but it's not helped as much as I hoped. I'm now feeling even more marginalised at work and trying to focus on my issues has just made me feel even more helpless.
At times anyway...
ANyhoo, this isn't a moan just a 'I've been there' and, at times, I come out of it.
I've just ordered Damon Hill's new autobiography. Read an excerpt from it today and it's far more than a racing car story. Lots of mental health and depression issues and trying to live in the shadow of his father. Reading parts of it made me so appreciative that people out there, especially blokes, can open up and talk about it.
Makes such a diff.
Thanks all

[CropleyWasGod]

I'm not a fan of the Royals, but fair play to William and Harry for coming out the way they have.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39625897

[pacoluna]

I'm not a fan of the Royals, but fair play to William and Harry for coming out the way they have.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39625897

Aye he decided to see a councillor..wonder how long he was on the waiting list for :rolleyes:

[CropleyWasGod]

Aye he decided to see a councillor..wonder how long he was on the waiting list for :rolleyes:

That's not the point, though, is it?

If his coming out has encouraged even 1 person to seek help, that's job done IMO.

[Hibrandenburg]

That's not the point, though, is it?

If his coming out has encouraged even 1 person to seek help, that's job done IMO.

:agree:

[pacoluna]

That's not the point, though, is it?

If his coming out has encouraged even 1 person to seek help, that's job done IMO.

The stigma attached to mental illness isn't the problem anymore. The prioritisation of feelings about mental health , over the reality of the provision of care is the problem.

[CapitalGreen]

The stigma attached to mental illness isn't the problem anymore.

Any evidence to back this statement up?

[pacoluna]

Any evidence to back this statement up?

This thread for starters.

[CropleyWasGod]

This thread for starters.
Wonderful as this thread is, and while it may be an example of stigma easing, stigma is still a big issue. This medium is anonymous to a great extent, and gives people an opportunity to speak about their issues without necessarily outing themselves. However, would they do the same publicly? And how many people read this thread without feeling the confidence to contribute?

I have little problem talking about my issues in public, indeed have presented talks about them. But I know through that, that I am absolutely in the minority in that respect.

That is why I made my point about the Princes speaking up. Yes, you're right that they would get help more easily than the general public, but they had to want that help and voice that need.... that is their worth in this debate. To encourage people to find their voice.

You're also right about general access to services being very difficult, but we're a long way from being able to say that stigma is less of an issue than access.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[pacoluna]

Wonderful as this thread is, and while it may be an example of stigma easing, stigma is still a big issue. This medium is anonymous to a great extent, and gives people an opportunity to speak about their issues without necessarily outing themselves. However, would they do the same publicly? And how many people read this thread without feeling the confidence to contribute?

I have little problem talking about my issues in public, indeed have presented talks about them. But I know through that, that I am absolutely in the minority in that respect.

That is why I made my point about the Princes speaking up. Yes, you're right that they would get help more easily than the general public, but they had to want that help and voice that need.... that is their worth in this debate. To encourage people to find their voice.

You're also right about general access to services being very difficult, but we're a long way from being able to say that stigma is less of an issue than access.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

I completely disagree.

[Dalianwanda]

I was doing a talk the other night and before me was a guy going through depression who was brace enough to tell his tale. What really struck me was the amount of question he got. Not around people's own experience of depressive thinking but around how to approach it with friends. You could sense a genuine fear in making things worse. I do think education on how to be there for someone could help.

Most of the focus seems to be on solutions. Obviously we're all different so what works for me might not for another. We can all learn to just listen and be there for someone without fear. Just seems so many want to but aren't sure how to.

[Hibs Class]

I completely disagree.

I think CWG is spot on in his assessment. And unfortunately, if it wasn't for the stigma which undoubtedly still exists then access would be an even bigger problem.

[pacoluna]

I think CWG is spot on in his assessment. And unfortunately, if it wasn't for the stigma which undoubtedly still exists then access would be an even bigger problem.

Ignorance is the foundation of the stigma.

[CropleyWasGod]

Ignorance is the foundation of the stigma.
Can't disagree with that. Ignorance is at the root of all stigma.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Pretty Boy]

Speaking from a personal point of view I certainly still sense a stigma. This thread has been great as it affords a relative anonymity (despite the fact I've met numerous people on it in the last 2 or 3 years). It's still a subject I'm wary of mentioning in company (in person) and I'll never speak up if someone makes a joke about mental illness for fear of being 'mocked'.

Tbh I'm having a bit of a wobble at the moment. I'm going to be a Dad for the 1st time in August. Whilst I'm absolutely delighted and it's hugely exciting it has been stressful and I'm feeling it. We have just moved house and I've loved where we have been for the best part of the last 5 years. It's coincided with the best state I've been in mentally in a decade or more and I quite literally burst into tears when I handed the keys over. I know the improvement in my mind goes a lot deeper than a house but all the same.... Unfortunately when I have a bad time it tends to manifest itself in me being increasingly argumentative which means I withdraw so as not to piss people off and it turns into a bit of a circle. Got a few days on my own as my girlfriend is away on holiday so trying to settle in to the new house slowly and planning to enjoy Saturday. On the plus side such a downturn would have turned into a total meltdown 7 or 8 years ago whereas now it's manageable if annoying.

[northstandhibby]

Speaking from a personal point of view I certainly still sense a stigma. This thread has been great as it affords a relative anonymity (despite the fact I've met numerous people on it in the last 2 or 3 years). It's still a subject I'm wary of mentioning in company (in person) and I'll never speak up if someone makes a joke about mental illness for fear of being 'mocked'.

Tbh I'm having a bit of a wobble at the moment. I'm going to be a Dad for the 1st time in August. Whilst I'm absolutely delighted and it's hugely exciting it has been stressful and I'm feeling it. We have just moved house and I've loved where we have been for the best part of the last 5 years. It's coincided with the best state I've been in mentally in a decade or more and I quite literally burst into tears when I handed the keys over. I know the improvement in my mind goes a lot deeper than a house but all the same.... Unfortunately when I have a bad time it tends to manifest itself in me being increasingly argumentative which means I withdraw so as not to piss people off and it turns into a bit of a circle. Got a few days on my own as my girlfriend is away on holiday so trying to settle in to the new house slowly and planning to enjoy Saturday. On the plus side such a downturn would have turned into a total meltdown 7 or 8 years ago whereas now it's manageable if annoying.

Stick in there lad. Life is never easy and it sounds as if you've a lot to keep strong for. At least you've taken steps to recognise the triggers and try to avoid folk seeing the manifestations of when you're feeling it the most. Keep up the good work.

glory glory

[lord bunberry]

To say there's no stigma attached to mental health is ridiculous. There's no doubt things are better than they were, but there's no way I'd casually mention my depression in general conversation.
In my line of work in the taxi I get loads of people telling me about physical conditions they have or have had, but I can't recall anyone ever talking about their mental health.

[MSK]

To say there's no stigma attached to mental health is ridiculous. There's no doubt things are better than they were, but there's no way I'd casually mention my depression in general conversation.
In my line of work in the taxi I get loads of people telling me about physical conditions they have or have had, but I can't recall anyone ever talking about their mental health.I do, I am comfortable speaking to people about my depression, obviously if the subject is broached. I totally understand why people dont want to discuss it but I feel in a way its a release, not only for me but for others to hear about my experience, my confidence & willingness to be open & honest about the subject.

My friends & family saw the before, during & now the after, of my depression, they saw me at my lowest ebb and they see me now, they ask so many questions of which Im only too happy to answer. I see it as raising awareness, promoting confidence & self esteem. I dont feel ashamed or embarrassed, sometimes on reflection I think about some of my behaviours or actions & have a laugh about them, ironically, people laughing with me as opposed to laughing at me was medicine in its own right.

[lord bunberry]

I do, I am comfortable speaking to people about my depression, obviously if the subject is broached. I totally understand why people dont want to discuss it but I feel in a way its a release, not only for me but for others to hear about my experience, my confidence & willingness to be open & honest about the subject.

My friends & family saw the before, during & now the after, of my depression, they saw me at my lowest ebb and they see me now, they ask so many questions of which Im only too happy to answer. I see it as raising awareness, promoting confidence & self esteem. I dont feel ashamed or embarrassed, sometimes on reflection I think about some of my behaviours or actions & have a laugh about them, ironically, people laughing with me as opposed to laughing at me was medicine in its own right.

The point I was making is that people with physical conditions are far more likely to volunteer info about their conditions than people with mental health problems. I get people giving me their life history at times, but no one ever mentions mental health issues.

[MSK]

The point I was making is that people with physical conditions are far more likely to volunteer info about their conditions than people with mental health problems. I get people giving me their life history at times, but no one ever mentions mental health issues.I know mate, apologies, went off on a tangent spraffing about how I found things.

Hope all is well 👍

[wpj]

Currently I am victim of (lack of) access to services having waited since my latest referral last August, not blaming the NHS as I am more than aware of the resources available. Last year a period of absence from work I felt my management were largely unsympathetic although to be fair there was some sympathy from a couple and more from colleagues, disappointing as I work in the health “industry” and we often have mental health awareness events.
I feel the high profile from the royals while not a fan or a hater has been really refreshing, I would really like it to be put into manifestos for the upcoming election. We have heard from successive governments the need to improve mental health provision but in reality there has been cuts.
The London Marathon is championing mental health tomorrow which is great but it needs more than banners at an event to improve both stigma and access.
I have to agree this thread has helped me immensely and although one or two posters do know me it has been mostly anonymous. I have revealed more about my mental health over the last 2-3 years than I ever had before which has helped me and hopefully others.

[wpj]

Speaking from a personal point of view I certainly still sense a stigma. This thread has been great as it affords a relative anonymity (despite the fact I've met numerous people on it in the last 2 or 3 years). It's still a subject I'm wary of mentioning in company (in person) and I'll never speak up if someone makes a joke about mental illness for fear of being 'mocked'.

Tbh I'm having a bit of a wobble at the moment. I'm going to be a Dad for the 1st time in August. Whilst I'm absolutely delighted and it's hugely exciting it has been stressful and I'm feeling it. We have just moved house and I've loved where we have been for the best part of the last 5 years. It's coincided with the best state I've been in mentally in a decade or more and I quite literally burst into tears when I handed the keys over. I know the improvement in my mind goes a lot deeper than a house but all the same.... Unfortunately when I have a bad time it tends to manifest itself in me being increasingly argumentative which means I withdraw so as not to piss people off and it turns into a bit of a circle. Got a few days on my own as my girlfriend is away on holiday so trying to settle in to the new house slowly and planning to enjoy Saturday. On the plus side such a downturn would have turned into a total meltdown 7 or 8 years ago whereas now it's manageable if annoying.

PB, I'm a new dad 20 months now at the age of 51, new job, new house and it has been really difficult given my mental health but!!! my wee girl has made me so happy, yes I still have issues but the time I spend with her is an absolute joy, I have even (whisper it) missed Hibs games on the telly (don’t live in Scotland) when looking after her. It’s a huge change but rewarding. This from a confirmed “I’ll never be a dad” person. Enjoy

[pacoluna]

To say there's no stigma attached to mental health is ridiculous. There's no doubt things are better than they were, but there's no way I'd casually mention my depression in general conversation.
In my line of work in the taxi I get loads of people telling me about physical conditions they have or have had, but I can't recall anyone ever talking about their mental health.
I wouldn't casually discuss my mental health issues either, however I would be more than willing to discuss it if it was the topic of conversation. I respect we are all different however. What do you personally feel has to happen for the stigma to be eradicated?

[lord bunberry]

I wouldn't casually discuss my mental health issues either, however I would be more than willing to discuss it if it was the topic of conversation. I respect we are all different however. What do you personally feel has to happen for the stigma to be eradicated?

It will happen eventually. We already have enough awareness projects going on, but it's just taking time for everyone to get on board. It's like everything that was once considered a bit of a taboo subject that is now completely accepted in everyday life. In time mental health will be seen as the same as physical conditions and treated the same.

[Pretty Boy]

PB, I'm a new dad 20 months now at the age of 51, new job, new house and it has been really difficult given my mental health but!!! my wee girl has made me so happy, yes I still have issues but the time I spend with her is an absolute joy, I have even (whisper it) missed Hibs games on the telly (don’t live in Scotland) when looking after her. It’s a huge change but rewarding. This from a confirmed “I’ll never be a dad” person. Enjoy

Thanks.

I'm very excited about being a Dad and whilst it was a surprise it's a welcome and pleasant one.

I just don't deal particularly well with change at times and leaving somewhere I have been largely stable and happy for 5 years is difficult for me. I'll be fine in a few weeks once my ****ed up brain processes the fact that everything isn't going to fall apart because I've moved 3 miles.

[CropleyWasGod]

Has anyone used Hypnotherapy?

The reason i ask is that I have just qualified as a Hypnotherapist. The results I've had with my case-study clients with depression and anxiety have been very encouraging.

(Note for admins. This is not an advert :greengrin)

[wpj]

Thanks.

I'm very excited about being a Dad and whilst it was a surprise it's a welcome and pleasant one.

I just don't deal particularly well with change at times and leaving somewhere I have been largely stable and happy for 5 years is difficult for me. I'll be fine in a few weeks once my ****ed up brain processes the fact that everything isn't going to fall apart because I've moved 3 miles.

Keep going to the places you enjoyed previously, pub, shops etc. Will give you some continuity

[Dalianwanda]

Has anyone used Hypnotherapy?

The reason i ask is that I have just qualified as a Hypnotherapist. The results I've had with my case-study clients with depression and anxiety have been very encouraging.

(Note for admins. This is not an advert :greengrin)

I know it can help, although I think solely using it points people in the wrong direction (In my opinion). I used to use hypnosis with clients, I would also have used NLP which can be effective but I've moved away from using these approaches soley especially when dealing with anxiety (I work one to one as well as speaking a on the subject for the HSE in Ireland & at festivals etc).

You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, it's impossible. Same going with the emotions we have. You can educate people to have a better relationship with the thoughts and emotions so they are no longer the problem they were. Thats the move I have made with my clients, helping them see that they don't need 'fixed' as theres nothing really broken. As soon as my clients start to see the inside out way of experience a lot of mind made problems melt away for them rather than them having to do something. A lot of people, understandibly, are looking for a quick fix. If thats their approach then theres always going to be fixes required.

So yes hypnosis can make changes very quickly & easily but I think it needs to be done in conjunction with some education on the nature of thought. Helping clients have more present moment awareness can help them see where there experience is coming from. Giving them choice on what thoughts to go with and what to allow to move so they dont become a problem any more.

[CropleyWasGod]

I know it can help, although I think solely using it points people in the wrong direction (In my opinion). I used to use hypnosis with clients, I would also have used NLP which can be effective but I've moved away from using these approaches soley especially when dealing with anxiety (I work one to one as well as speaking a on the subject for the HSE in Ireland & at festivals etc).

You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, it's impossible. Same going with the emotions we have. You can educate people to have a better relationship with the thoughts and emotions so they are no longer the problem they were. Thats the move I have made with my clients, helping them see that they don't need 'fixed' as theres nothing really broken. As soon as my clients start to see the inside out way of experience a lot of mind made problems melt away for them rather than them having to do something. A lot of people, understandibly, are looking for a quick fix. If thats their approach then theres always going to be fixes required.

So yes hypnosis can make changes very quickly & easily but I think it needs to be done in conjunction with some education on the nature of thought. Helping clients have more present moment awareness can help them see where there experience is coming from. Giving them choice on what thoughts to go with and what to allow to move so they dont become a problem any more.
Thanks for that.

Are you a psychotherapist?

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Dalianwanda]

Thanks for that.

Are you a psychotherapist?

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

Nah, but i do work with them now and again. Transformational Coach is the term i use.

[CropleyWasGod]

Gotcha.

As I say, I've just qualified as a hypnotherapist. I did the training purely out of intrigue and my own depression history. However, I loved it so much that I am now thinking about setting up my own practice.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Dalianwanda]

Gotcha.

As I say, I've just qualified as a hypnotherapist. I did the training purely out of intrigue and my own depression history. However, I loved it so much that I am now thinking about setting up my own practice.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

cool if you ever fancy a chat about it just let me know. It is very interesting and VERY rewarding. If i had one wee tip when starting out it would be make sure and niche your offering. I started out doing it as an interest when i was back home in Musselburgh. Last 3 years it's been my full time profession.

[CropleyWasGod]

cool if you ever fancy a chat about it just let me know. It is very interesting and VERY rewarding. If i had one wee tip when starting out it would be make sure and niche your offering. I started out doing it as an interest when i was back home in Musselburgh. Last 3 years it's been my full time profession.
Cheers for the offer and the tip 😊

The bit about having a niche. I had already been thinking along those lines.....and have a couple in mind. But I'll keep stum about them on here lest anyone nicks the ideas. 😉


Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[MSK]

Cheers for the offer and the tip 😊

The bit about having a niche. I had already been thinking along those lines.....and have a couple in mind. But I'll keep stum about them on here lest anyone nicks the ideas. 😉


Sent from my SM-A510F using TapatalkHow did you become a Hypnotherapist, Im more curious as to what avenues you went down, Ive never seen trainee Hypnotherapist courses at college etc 😄

Similar with Plaster Technicians, something Ive been interested in but cant see any way in.

[CropleyWasGod]

How did you become a Hypnotherapist, Im more curious as to what avenues you went down, Ive never seen trainee Hypnotherapist courses at college etc 😄

Similar with Plaster Technicians, something Ive been interested in but cant see any way in.
The course was a private one, run by the Clifton Practice ( based in Bristol, but the course was in Edinburgh). It's accredited by the HPC, the governing body for the UK.

I can't post links on my phone, but Google Clifton and that should point you in the right direction.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[MSK]

The course was a private one, run by the Clifton Practice ( based in Bristol, but the course was in Edinburgh). It's accredited by the HPC, the governing body for the UK.

I can't post links on my phone, but Google Clifton and that should point you in the right direction.

Sent from my SM-A510F using TapatalkWill have a wee look mate thanks 👍

[Shore Thing]

Glad this thread's still on the go.
This caught my eye today so I thought I'd share it:

There is now a Men's Shed in Leith
Every Tuesday afternoon 2-5 at the Edinburgh Tool Library Workshop, Custom Lane. (behind Old Custom House) This is a welcoming community for all men, working together to improve men’s health and wellbeing. Whether you enjoy working with wood and metal, learning a new skill or simply having a wee blether you are welcome to come along.
The Men of Leith Men's Shed is an authentic men's shed run by men for the benefit of men, a community for all men, working together to improve men's health, connection and wellbeing.
"In short I feel more invigorated, more motivated, more active, healthier and indeed happier. Isn't that what a shed is about?"
Bill B
"I went from a life of meaningless TV, fridge and couch to enjoying making a real difference to my community."
Lou K
If you would like more information you can contact Charlie 07946843882 or Alan 07548206142
Registered Charity SC047004.
Supported by The City of Edinburgh and The Scottish Men's Shed Association.
Where?
The Men of Leith Men's Shed
Edinburgh Tool Library Workshop
The Custom Lane,( behind Old Custom House
65-67 Commercial Street,
Leith EH6 6LH

I joined the Tool Library (http://edinburghtoollibrary.org.uk/) recently and highly recommend them to anyone who likes to make things, fix things, or is even just interested in having a cup of tea and watching people do stuff. They're very welcoming to men AND women of all ages and abilities. I reckon it's helped give me a sense of purpose and possibilities, and I think that's helping with my own depression.

[Dalianwanda]

Glad this thread's still on the go.
This caught my eye today so I thought I'd share it:

There is now a Men's Shed in Leith
Every Tuesday afternoon 2-5 at the Edinburgh Tool Library Workshop, Custom Lane. (behind Old Custom House) This is a welcoming community for all men, working together to improve men’s health and wellbeing. Whether you enjoy working with wood and metal, learning a new skill or simply having a wee blether you are welcome to come along.
The Men of Leith Men's Shed is an authentic men's shed run by men for the benefit of men, a community for all men, working together to improve men's health, connection and wellbeing.
"In short I feel more invigorated, more motivated, more active, healthier and indeed happier. Isn't that what a shed is about?"
Bill B
"I went from a life of meaningless TV, fridge and couch to enjoying making a real difference to my community."
Lou K
If you would like more information you can contact Charlie 07946843882 or Alan 07548206142
Registered Charity SC047004.
Supported by The City of Edinburgh and The Scottish Men's Shed Association.
Where?
The Men of Leith Men's Shed
Edinburgh Tool Library Workshop
The Custom Lane,( behind Old Custom House
65-67 Commercial Street,
Leith EH6 6LH

I joined the Tool Library (http://edinburghtoollibrary.org.uk/) recently and highly recommend them to anyone who likes to make things, fix things, or is even just interested in having a cup of tea and watching people do stuff. They're very welcoming to men AND women of all ages and abilities. I reckon it's helped give me a sense of purpose and possibilities, and I think that's helping with my own depression.


Men's Shed is a wonderful organisation. Lovely atmosphere at the one here too.

[Dalianwanda]

Cheers for the offer and the tip 😊

The bit about having a niche. I had already been thinking along those lines.....and have a couple in mind. But I'll keep stum about them on here lest anyone nicks the ideas. 😉


Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk
haha Quite right! Well positive vibes to you with it all & shout any time you fancy bouncing ideas. Next few months for me have gravitated towards helping people with sleep & working with GPs (I have many ideas but plans aren't my forte ☺️)

[Mikey09]

I honestly find that if the topic of mental health crops up at work etc, people tend to chat away quite openly with a lot of understanding. As I never hide the fact I suffer from bipolar disorder, if I mention it the tone changes. Not particularly in a bad way but a lot of people seem to get embarrassed for me. The best way I find of combatting this is to have a laugh and joke about myself. Don't get me wrong it's far from funny when I get battered with an episode, but hey, it tends to relax folk so is it wrong?

[wpj]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39788226

Thoughts with Aaron and his loved ones

[patch1875]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39788226

Thoughts with Aaron and his loved ones

Yep.

****my rag the mail getting pelters for thinking his huge wages have some relevance.

[CropleyWasGod]

Yep.

****my rag the mail getting pelters for thinking his huge wages have some relevance.
I'm wondering if they do.

Perfectionism, and the striving for excellence, are a contributor to depression. The fact that AL is paid stupid amounts of money puts a pressure on him, an expectation to perform like a superhero every week. Some people are resilient enough to deal with not being able to do it, some not.

We've seen evidence this season of our manager being a perfectionist. I can't help thinking that that is a contributor to his own depression.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Liam89]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with post night out anxiety? I know it's brought on myself and the answer should really be to not drink but when I do find myself having a night out or even enough wine at dinner with the family, the next morning my anxiety kicks into overdrive. Anyone experience similar or have any advice to lessen the severity?

[lord bunberry]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with post night out anxiety? I know it's brought on myself and the answer should really be to not drink but when I do find myself having a night out or even enough wine at dinner with the family, the next morning my anxiety kicks into overdrive. Anyone experience similar or have any advice to lessen the severity?
I try and do something to take my mind of it. Go for a walk or a swim. If your staying in the house try reading a book or watching a film. I find reading or watching a film tends to make me fall asleep and when I wake up I tend to feel better.

[Dalianwanda]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with post night out anxiety? I know it's brought on myself and the answer should really be to not drink but when I do find myself having a night out or even enough wine at dinner with the family, the next morning my anxiety kicks into overdrive. Anyone experience similar or have any advice to lessen the severity?

Acceptance goes a long way to calming the mind..Just accepting that your experiencing a feeling which you labelling as anxiety. Don't resist it or it'll stick around just notice it for what it is an energy thats produced because of conscious or unconscious thinking. Once you accept is and embrace it it will move itself. If you think of it as a bad thing and something that needs to be fixed your mind will go crazy trying to think of ways to calm down. It has the right intention but goes a long way about helping you feel good. If you do nothing with anxious thoughts they will move on if you do nothing with the anxious feeling it will move on.

One of the posters here has mentioned going for a walk swim etc..Id agree..It works because you stop resisting what is happening (to give you the anxious feeling) and allow new thought to pop into your head on the walk (or listening to music, or chatting to mates or watching Hibs etc)...New thought new feeling..

Not everones cup of tea but I'm going to recommend a few books that could potentially help (what works for one may not work for another due to our unique processing of information)...But here you go:

Somebody Should Have Told Us - Jack Pransky (One of my favourite books, simple to read. No techniques but gives a simple approach to understanding our relationship with our thoughts)
Clarity - Jamie Smart (Another simple read about 3 principles & inside out understanding)
Dare - Barry McDonagh (I've had a few chats with Barry to do with work & love this book...It gives you an approach to deal with anxiety specifically)
Mind Calm - Sandy Newbigging (I've worked with Sandy for years & I teach the programme in Ireland & Edinburgh....Simple to read & apply & loads of support material on his website)

Hope that helps..

[Liam89]

I try and do something to take my mind of it. Go for a walk or a swim. If your staying in the house try reading a book or watching a film. I find reading or watching a film tends to make me fall asleep and when I wake up I tend to feel better.


Acceptance goes a long way to calming the mind..Just accepting that your experiencing a feeling which you labelling as anxiety. Don't resist it or it'll stick around just notice it for what it is an energy thats produced because of conscious or unconscious thinking. Once you accept is and embrace it it will move itself. If you think of it as a bad thing and something that needs to be fixed your mind will go crazy trying to think of ways to calm down. It has the right intention but goes a long way about helping you feel good. If you do nothing with anxious thoughts they will move on if you do nothing with the anxious feeling it will move on.

One of the posters here has mentioned going for a walk swim etc..Id agree..It works because you stop resisting what is happening (to give you the anxious feeling) and allow new thought to pop into your head on the walk (or listening to music, or chatting to mates or watching Hibs etc)...New thought new feeling..

Not everones cup of tea but I'm going to recommend a few books that could potentially help (what works for one may not work for another due to our unique processing of information)...But here you go:

Somebody Should Have Told Us - Jack Pransky (One of my favourite books, simple to read. No techniques but gives a simple approach to understanding our relationship with our thoughts)
Clarity - Jamie Smart (Another simple read about 3 principles & inside out understanding)
Dare - Barry McDonagh (I've had a few chats with Barry to do with work & love this book...It gives you an approach to deal with anxiety specifically)
Mind Calm - Sandy Newbigging (I've worked with Sandy for years & I teach the programme in Ireland & Edinburgh....Simple to read & apply & loads of support material on his website)

Hope that helps..

Thanks for the swift responses and advice guys. I'll definitely aim to try and take my mind off of it rather than sitting wallowing in my own self destructive thoughts. I'll also give a few of those books a read Dalianwanda, cheers for the suggestions. Since I had a few panic attacks last year I've struggled with anxiety, in particular my desire to try new things and adventure to new areas. As soon as I venture out-with my comfort zone my thoughts turn negative. Something I never used to have a problem with and something i'd desperately like to solve. A type of agoraphobia almost.

[Dalianwanda]

Thanks for the swift responses and advice guys. I'll definitely aim to try and take my mind off of it rather than sitting wallowing in my own self destructive thoughts. I'll also give a few of those books a read Dalianwanda, cheers for the suggestions. Since I had a few panic attacks last year I've struggled with anxiety, in particular my desire to try new things and adventure to new areas. As soon as I venture out-with my comfort zone my thoughts turn negative. Something I never used to have a problem with and something i'd desperately like to solve. A type of agoraphobia almost.

No worries, any questions just give me a shout...By the way dont try & take you mind off things (if you try & resist thoughts then the thought your resisting will stick around)..Just notice your resisting, accept it and get on with things..New thought will then pop in all by itself without even trying :-)

We all have negative thoughts, I have some completely mental ones now and again..The thing is with most of these we just brush them off as crazy thoughts, luagh them away....Some though we can believe as real & bad and thats when problems can be created...What ever the thought & feeling is its just a thought, its just an emotion..If your feeling **** then thats a sign your thinkings off course a bit..(I've heard it described as the rumble strip on the motorway)..Your emotions are a good indicator of your thinking, nothing to do with the situation your thinking about...

As I say any questions gimmie a shout...

[One Day Soon]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with post night out anxiety? I know it's brought on myself and the answer should really be to not drink but when I do find myself having a night out or even enough wine at dinner with the family, the next morning my anxiety kicks into overdrive. Anyone experience similar or have any advice to lessen the severity?


I once found myself unexpectedly in a room with John Reid, the former Labour MP and Cabinet Minister. It was just prior to something that I was finding incredibly traumatic and my anxiety was in overdrive - and it was obvious.

He said to me that I should contemplate two things. Firstly the vast number of galaxies, stars and planets in the Universe. Secondly the almost infinite stretch of time and the generations and billions of human beings who had lived and died. Then he said I should think about the thing I was worrying about and my wider non-specific anxiety or depression and consider how much any of it really mattered in the more vast sweep of things. Really, he said, there are very, very few things that you can't find a way to cope with, recover from or use to strengthen you despite how fearful they may think they are making you.

I asked him what he meant by 'they may think they are making you'. He said that in many cases what people were anxious or depressed about was not ultimately the thing that they thought they were worried about or depressed by, it was their fearing it or being depressed about it that had come to be their focus and quite often the original source of the worry was quite manageable compared to the monster that their own fear had become. His answer was to place all of this in the context of a Universe spectacularly larger than ourselves and to accept that most things didn't ultimately matter and just weren't as important as we persuaded ourselves they were.

I found it helpful at the time and have ever since.

[Liam89]

I once found myself unexpectedly in a room with John Reid, the former Labour MP and Cabinet Minister. It was just prior to something that I was finding incredibly traumatic and my anxiety was in overdrive - and it was obvious.

He said to me that I should contemplate two things. Firstly the vast number of galaxies, stars and planets in the Universe. Secondly the almost infinite stretch of time and the generations and billions of human beings who had lived and died. Then he said I should think about the thing I was worrying about and my wider non-specific anxiety or depression and consider how much any of it really mattered in the more vast sweep of things. Really, he said, there are very, very few things that you can't find a way to cope with, recover from or use to strengthen you despite how fearful they may think they are making you.

I asked him what he meant by 'they may think they are making you'. He said that in many cases what people were anxious or depressed about was not ultimately the thing that they thought they were worried about or depressed by, it was their fearing it or being depressed about it that had come to be their focus and quite often the original source of the worry was quite manageable compared to the monster that their own fear had become. His answer was to place all of this in the context of a Universe spectacularly larger than ourselves and to accept that most things didn't ultimately matter and just weren't as important as we persuaded ourselves they were.

I found it helpful at the time and have ever since. Thanks a lot for the support and kind words DW.

That's some great advice ODS, it's completely true that the thought of being anxious itself is far more crippling than the catalyst of the anxiety ever was or will be. I'll try and take it on board next time any intrusive thoughts float by.

[MSK]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with post night out anxiety? I know it's brought on myself and the answer should really be to not drink but when I do find myself having a night out or even enough wine at dinner with the family, the next morning my anxiety kicks into overdrive. Anyone experience similar or have any advice to lessen the severity?You are not alone mate, after a few beers, not a skinfull either, I normally wake up to an anxiety attack, its a horrible feeling, up to the toilet, wretching, pacing the bedroom. Mind goes into overdrive, like I say, its not after a bender, prob kicks in after I go over 6 pint bottles of lager or similar strength. I know its all in the mind but when it kicks in it totally ruins my weekend. I suppose in one sense it has made me physically fitter
due to reducing my alcohol intake

[Liam89]

You are not alone mate, after a few beers, not a skinfull either, I normally wake up to an anxiety attack, its a horrible feeling, up to the toilet, wretching, pacing the bedroom. Mind goes into overdrive, like I say, its not after a bender, prob kicks in after I go over 6 pint bottles of lager or similar strength. I know its all in the mind but when it kicks in it totally ruins my weekend. I suppose in one sense it has made me physically fitter
due to reducing my alcohol intake

Sounds familiar! Worst one happened to me recently after a stag do, tried to sleep the next day but it felt as though I was spinning around in circles which caused a panic attack as I thought I'd never be able to sleep again. Turns out I was just hyperventilating from anxiety and causing dizziness to myself. Despite often suffering anxiety in day to day life, after drinking thoughts which are completely irrational and wouldn't usually bother me tend to induce panic. You're right though, it's definitely a hint to quell the consumption as it's not doing any favours to us.

[Mr White]

Sounds familiar! Worst one happened to me recently after a stag do, tried to sleep the next day but it felt as though I was spinning around in circles which caused a panic attack as I thought I'd never be able to sleep again. Turns out I was just hyperventilating from anxiety and causing dizziness to myself. Despite often suffering anxiety in day to day life, after drinking thoughts which are completely irrational and wouldn't usually bother me tend to induce panic. You're right though, it's definitely a hint to quell the consumption as it's not doing any favours to us.

One of the byproducts that the liver creates when processing alcohol is acetaldehyde. It's thought to be a main cause of a lot of the symptoms of a hangover, including heightened anxiety.

[Liam89]

One of the byproducts that the liver creates when processing alcohol is acetaldehyde. It's thought to be a main cause of a lot of the symptoms of a hangover, including heightened anxiety.

Interesting! I didn't know that, cheers.

[Mr White]

Interesting! I didn't know that, cheers.

I'm no expert by any means but I did a bit of reading up on it a few years back after noticing how anxious I was the day after a few drinks. There wouldn't be any harm at all imo in reading up on some of the neurotransmitters involved in anxiety and the things that can affect them if you feel inclined. I found it helpful to attempt to understand some of the processes going on at a chemical level in the brain.

[MSK]

I'm no expert by any means but I did a bit of reading up on it a few years back after noticing how anxious I was the day after a few drinks. There wouldn't be any harm at all imo in reading up on some of the neurotransmitters involved in anxiety and the things that can affect them if you feel inclined. I found it helpful to attempt to understand some of the processes going on at a chemical level in the brain.Totally, also interesting to note that before I suffered depression & anxiety I could enjoy a good session & morn after was just the usual sore head & yucky feeling which disappeared after a paracetamol & a couple o pints of water. Now its a totally different experience & certainly has me thinking about what Im consumming, its just not worth it.

[Stranraer]

Dear posters,

My behaviour on .net has often been childish and selfish and when it came to this (excellent) thread I seemed to hog the attention.

I have changed so much mentally that I feel like "me" again. It took a large dose of antipsychotics and antidepressants but after years of struggle I am doing a lot better.

I used to write stupid Blog posts acting as if my problems were more important than other peoples and for that I apologise.

My Mother died on March 15th 2017 and my best friend died 3rd of May 2017. Obviously I am gutted but I am sincerely grateful that it happened during a time when I was doing so well. If this had happened a few years back I don't think I could have handled it.

So a huge thanks to everyone on this thread for keeping it going!

Andy

[wpj]

Dear posters,

My behaviour on .net has often been childish and selfish and when it came to this (excellent) thread I seemed to hog the attention.

I have changed so much mentally that I feel like "me" again. It took a large dose of antipsychotics and antidepressants but after years of struggle I am doing a lot better.

I used to write stupid Blog posts acting as if my problems were more important than other peoples and for that I apologise.

My Mother died on March 15th 2017 and my best friend died 3rd of May 2017. Obviously I am gutted but I am sincerely grateful that it happened during a time when I was doing so well. If this had happened a few years back I don't think I could have handled it.

So a huge thanks to everyone on this thread for keeping it going!

Andy

Glad you are in a better place mate, no need to apologise for anything, we all deal with our issues in different ways. Glad this thread has helped you as it has really helped me too.

[Liam89]

Dear posters,

My behaviour on .net has often been childish and selfish and when it came to this (excellent) thread I seemed to hog the attention.

I have changed so much mentally that I feel like "me" again. It took a large dose of antipsychotics and antidepressants but after years of struggle I am doing a lot better.

I used to write stupid Blog posts acting as if my problems were more important than other peoples and for that I apologise.

My Mother died on March 15th 2017 and my best friend died 3rd of May 2017. Obviously I am gutted but I am sincerely grateful that it happened during a time when I was doing so well. If this had happened a few years back I don't think I could have handled it.

So a huge thanks to everyone on this thread for keeping it going!

Andy


Glad you are in a better place mate, no need to apologise for anything, we all deal with our issues in different ways. Glad this thread has helped you as it has really helped me too.

I echo the sentiments of wpj, hopefully its all up from here for you Andy. Agreed that even just reading this thread has helped me through some of my lowest moments. The advice and support given my posters on here is fantastic.

[pacoluna]

Sounds familiar! Worst one happened to me recently after a stag do, tried to sleep the next day but it felt as though I was spinning around in circles which caused a panic attack as I thought I'd never be able to sleep again. Turns out I was just hyperventilating from anxiety and causing dizziness to myself. Despite often suffering anxiety in day to day life, after drinking thoughts which are completely irrational and wouldn't usually bother me tend to induce panic. You're right though, it's definitely a hint to quell the consumption as it's not doing any favours to us.
Hyperventilation is the thing that gets to me the most, drains me. It used to be the anxiety that sparked the hyperventilating now it's the opposite way about, it comes from no where and has the ability to ruin my whole day.

[Liam89]

Hyperventilation is the thing that gets to me the most, drains me. It used to be the anxiety that sparked the hyperventilating now it's the opposite way about, it comes from no where and has the ability to ruin my whole day.

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I can find myself manually breathing which causes me to feel physically symptoms which trigger and intensify anxiety. I'm sure you've heard it before but I try to slowly take a few deep breaths only expanding my tummy rather than my chest which I find helps a lot. There's a lot of great breathing tips and exercises available online which are really helpful. Of course, it's easier said than done.

[Hibrandenburg]

https://www.google.de/amp/www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/sinead-oconnor-mental-illness-bipolar-disorder-new-jersey-ireland-a7881781.html%3famp

I first saw this on Facebook and some of the comments are absolutely atrocious. People can be such utter ****s.

[Sylar]

https://www.google.de/amp/www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/sinead-oconnor-mental-illness-bipolar-disorder-new-jersey-ireland-a7881781.html%3famp

I first saw this on Facebook and some of the comments are absolutely atrocious. People can be such utter ****s.

I'm not a fan of her music, but that's absolutely heartbreaking to watch. I truly hope someone can get to her and intervene, as it's very clear she's not in a good place at all.

As for the comments on the article, nothing really surprises me about the low condition of human beings anymore. There's some truly cancerous masses that walk amongst society.

When Chester Bennington killed himself after years of mental health problems, some of the response and vitriol from not just trolls on the internet but musicians he'd played alongside in the past, was absolutely sickening.

Hope all of the posters on this thread are doing well just now, as it's been a while since anyone posted anything :aok:

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Now that this thread has been updated once again I'm going to say its the best thread theres ever been on .net. Its not my thing but, I feel it would be inspirational if it was fed to a wider audience, whether its related charities, fbook or twitter or other fans sites its a very important and impressive thread.

[Pretty Boy]

https://www.google.de/amp/www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/sinead-oconnor-mental-illness-bipolar-disorder-new-jersey-ireland-a7881781.html%3famp

I first saw this on Facebook and some of the comments are absolutely atrocious. People can be such utter ****s.

I think a lot of it is still as a result of ignorance. That's a possible explanation not excusing btw.

A lot of it seems to be the usual 'what does she have to be depressed about?' or 'other people with her condition still work so why can't she?' It's like saying some people with a heart condition still work and cope so why can't everyone. If nothing else it shows there's still plenty work to do to remove the stigma of mental health and raise awareness.

I hope Sinead O'Connor gets the help and support she deperately needs. She's not someone I always agree with but she's generally passionate and worth listening to.

[hibsbollah]

https://www.google.de/amp/www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/sinead-oconnor-mental-illness-bipolar-disorder-new-jersey-ireland-a7881781.html%3famp

I first saw this on Facebook and some of the comments are absolutely atrocious. People can be such utter ****s.

Sinead is a mouthy woman with strong left wing beliefs. The favourite target of your standard misogynist online troll so its hardly surprising a few of them have come out of the woodwork to feed. The best thing is to filter out the ***** and concentrate on the (still majority) supportive things that have been written instead. Its a hard thing to do when Sinead, or just the person reading about her online, has negative thoughts, admittedly. Its easy to think nobody understands, when in fact theres a lot more empathy and understanding out there than there used to be.

In terms of her music, THAT song is spellbinding in my opinion, one of the best cover versions of all time.

[Mikey09]

I'm sick of it to be honest. I tired. Tired that whenever I'm in a good place my bipolar ****s me up. Tired of fighting it day in day out. I'm right at the start of an episode and the only thing I think about is how ****ing tired I am of this ****. Wish I could just go to sleep and wake up when it's past. But Cannae sleep. Pissing people off with my **** it attitude and seem to be looking for an arguement. It's so tiring. For them, for me, for everyone. It's pish.

[CropleyWasGod]

I'm sick of it to be honest. I tired. Tired that whenever I'm in a good place my bipolar ****s me up. Tired of fighting it day in day out. I'm right at the start of an episode and the only thing I think about is how ****ing tired I am of this ****. Wish I could just go to sleep and wake up when it's past. But Cannae sleep. Pissing people off with my **** it attitude and seem to be looking for an arguement. It's so tiring. For them, for me, for everyone. It's pish.Not sure if this will help.

I used to "fight" my depression. Did everything I could to stave off what, in hindsight, was inevitable. All that achieved was a longer and deeper depression, with a feeling of failure that I'd not been able to "beat" it.

That pattern continued for years, and then I developed a new approach. When an episode was on its way, I didn't run away. I let it happen. Just gave in to it, whilst using little management tools to help avoid its worst effects.

The result is that my episodes are shorter, and less intense, and I have a greater feeling of control. In short, i treat my condition as a friend, rather than an enemy .

It isn't a cure, but it's the most effective tool I've got to reduce the pain.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Mikey09]

Not sure if this will help.

I used to "fight" my depression. Did everything I could to stave off what, in hindsight, was inevitable. All that achieved was a longer and deeper depression, with a feeling of failure that I'd not been able to "beat" it.

That pattern continued for years, and then I developed a new approach. When an episode was on its way, I didn't run away. I let it happen. Just gave in to it, whilst using little management tools to help avoid its worst effects.

The result is that my episodes are shorter, and less intense, and I have a greater feeling of control. In short, i treat my condition as a friend, rather than an enemy .

It isn't a cure, but it's the most effective tool I've got to reduce the pain.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

i get what you mean Crops. I just feel every day is a battle and I'm probably scared to give in to it. Scared what happens if I didn't do what I do just now. But as I said in my previous post it's just exhausting. Been sitting up since 3 this morning with a million things going through my head. Meant to be working at 8am but it's gonna impact on that too which then then makes me feel worse as I need my work to keep my mind off it. I'm rambling and apologise if I'm not making much sense. Wish I could just sleep till it was over.

[stu in nottingham]

Just on the subject of anxiety's link with alcohol for a moment, there is a lot of information out there including this fairly basic text from Drinkaware's site:

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/mental-health/alcohol-and-anxiety/

In general, my understanding is that it's possible that long term use or abuse of alcohol can cause a rewiring of the brain. The body gets used to alcohol dealing with anxious feelings an individual might feel and so when the alcohol is not present it struggles to deal with the anxiety using its own resources. Often this means that people drink to self-medicate their anxiety and so this sets up a vicious cycle of anxiety-alcohol-sobriety-alcohol.

Well done to all on maintaining this excellent thread, good to see.

[beensaidbefore]

i get what you mean Crops. I just feel every day is a battle and I'm probably scared to give in to it. Scared what happens if I didn't do what I do just now. But as I said in my previous post it's just exhausting. Been sitting up since 3 this morning with a million things going through my head. Meant to be working at 8am but it's gonna impact on that too which then then makes me feel worse as I need my work to keep my mind off it. I'm rambling and apologise if I'm not making much sense. Wish I could just sleep till it was over.

Hope you managed to get through the day OK. Forgiveme for what may seem ignorant, or if it's been covered before. When you begin to feel an 'episode' coming on, does physical exertion do anything to help, ie press ups til you nearly canny breath or lifting weights that are on the verge of too much?

[Mikey09]

Hope you managed to get through the day OK. Forgiveme for what may seem ignorant, or if it's been covered before. When you begin to feel an 'episode' coming on, does physical exertion do anything to help, ie press ups til you nearly canny breath or lifting weights that are on the verge of too much?


My routine has worked for me, with varying success, for a long time but the past few months I've had so many episodes. I seem to come out of one episode and straight into the next. It's exhausting. Maybe it's time to think about medication again. I don't know. I'm in a real "**** everything" attitude. I'm angry, irritable and a ****ing nightmare to live with. I'm giving it till Friday and then it's a trip to the doctor. To answer your question, no, not much is working just now and that's not the norm.

[barcahibs]

Not sure if this will help.

I used to "fight" my depression. Did everything I could to stave off what, in hindsight, was inevitable. All that achieved was a longer and deeper depression, with a feeling of failure that I'd not been able to "beat" it.

That pattern continued for years, and then I developed a new approach. When an episode was on its way, I didn't run away. I let it happen. Just gave in to it, whilst using little management tools to help avoid its worst effects.

The result is that my episodes are shorter, and less intense, and I have a greater feeling of control. In short, i treat my condition as a friend, rather than an enemy .

It isn't a cure, but it's the most effective tool I've got to reduce the pain.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

Easy to say now of course.

The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)

[lord bunberry]

I really find it helpful reading all these posts. I'm going through a pretty rough patch at the moment after a really long period of feeling like things were on the up. It often feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and that's the part I find the most difficult to deal with. Sometimes I know that doing certain things will help, but it can be hard to motivate myself to get things done.

[Sylar]

A key thing for me lately has been trying to identify my triggers whenever I feel an anxiety episode begin to manifest itself.

Sometimes that's easy, but sometimes I fixate on symptoms of a bigger problem, rather than trying to work out what's really bothering me. Displacement, I believe it's called.

I became a father 4 months ago, and my world is a wonderful place just now...most of the time. But feelings of inadequacy, feelings of irritation whenever I can't soothe my daughter, feelings of all out rage (where I leave the room) have made appearances. This was all well over and above my normal manifestation of anxiety, so a quick trip to my doctor and I was diagnosed with PTSD (our daughter's arrival into this world was pretty traumatic and we thought she was lost shortly after delivery, resulting in both of them being wheeled away and me being left with very little answer). That, blended with my anxiety makes it problematic for me to try and deal with her when she's upset, as I get pretty easily worked up too, and I constantly find myself feeling like a failure, or getting really angry at myself for feeling the way I do.

Realising that this isn't my fault, and that it will pass is one thing. Composing myself into the moment is probably the biggest challenge I've faced in a very long time!

[CropleyWasGod]

Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

Easy to say now of course.

The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)

Superb post, thanks. I agree with every word, and wish i'd written it myself.... swine :greengrin

The other thing I will add is that, although I would gladly "cure" my depression tomorrow, there are a lot of positives to my experience. Without it, I wouldn't have made changes to my diet, my exercise regime, my attitude to life, and my spiritual life. All of these are changes for the better, and I thank my depression for pushing me into them.

That "celebration" of the positivity of our situation is at the heart of the work I do as a hypnotherapist; recognising the "small victories" in our lives, and building on them as an example of how life isn't all crap, and that there are means of thinking differently. It doesn't cure things, of course, but it helps in bringing back that balance that we lose when the black dog comes to stay.

The black dog, of course, doesn't have to be nasty and vicious. It can be warm and cuddly. :agree:

[I'm_cabbaged]

Back here again.. after coming off my meds about a year and a half ago things were slowly progressing with the help of counseling through my work (nhs) The theory being that I'd built up a self preservation system through a few traumas until the sudden passing of my parents in a short period of time that over flowed the cup so to speak. I was slowly beginning to to come to terms with the previous traumas and accept that they did me no harm long term.
Unfortunately my brother was suffering depression unknown to myself and thought that the world would be better off without him at the weekend, if only he'd talked about it..... Going on a selfish note, I'm feeling absolutely nothing, I've lost the last of my birth family and not an emotion. The self preservation has kicked in again I suppose, don't know what to do!!

[Tornadoes70]

Back here again.. after coming off my meds about a year and a half ago things were slowly progressing with the help of counseling through my work (nhs) The theory being that I'd built up a self preservation system through a few traumas until the sudden passing of my parents in a short period of time that over flowed the cup so to speak. I was slowly beginning to to come to terms with the previous traumas and accept that they did me no harm long term.
Unfortunately my brother was suffering depression unknown to myself and thought that the world would be better off without him at the weekend, if only he'd talked about it..... Going on a selfish note, I'm feeling absolutely nothing, I've lost the last of my birth family and not an emotion. The self preservation has kicked in again I suppose, don't know what to do!!

Genuinely gutted to hear whats happened to you. The passing of loved ones is always a traumatic time. When I'm feeling it most, I make a point of going for a quiet walk usually to the beach or somewhere off the beaten track and let it all out, the frustration, the why, the anger and end up crying my eyes out at how much I miss them the family that have passed on until there's no more tears to give. It helps me tremendously but folk are different and it may not be the answer for others. Feel for you mate.

[Pete]

Humbled again by this thread. Best wishes to all of you and hope that things get better if you're down there just now.

[I'm_cabbaged]

Thanks folks, the PM was carried out yesterday so I can start to do all the finalising of things today, I think that may bring out the realisation of what's actually happened. Better out than in as they say!!

[CropleyWasGod]

Thanks folks, the PM was carried out yesterday so I can start to do all the finalising of things today, I think that may bring out the realisation of what's actually happened. Better out than in as they say!!I always try and look for "small wins" in these situations. Obviously, I don't know you, but it seems that you are in some sort of control at this moment; clear enough to be strong, to know your mind, and to put your thoughts down here.

In your past, dark, days, could you have done that? I'm guessing not. If that's correct, you've made progress, and you need to recognise that and give yourself credit.

As you say, there's probably a lot of emotion to come out. ....and, yeah, allow yourself to express that.

Take care [emoji106]

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[hibsbollah]

Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

Easy to say now of course.

The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)

Outstanding post, wise and 100% true, every word.:top marks

[--------]

Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

Easy to say now of course.

The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)


:agree: Absolutely.

[One Day Soon]

To all brothers (and sisters) on this thread I can only offer this.

I have two approaches. One is to try to cope with it before, during and after its here by doing all the things CWG mentioned in his last post. They don't stop it but they do mitigate it to some extent. The other is to almost try to remove myself from the immediacy of it when it's here with what is almost a mantra - this is just a phase. It is just a phase, you always come out the other side sooner or later and if you are able to fasten on to that you can almost look at yourself going through it from a distance. So it gets to be in you while it is there, but the crucial thing is it doesn't get to be you completely. It's a short term guest.

My dad died in October last year. Not long afterward a close relative was murdered. I had to organise two funerals, ID a body, deal with the aftermath (including a still ongoing legal dispute on inheritance). I didn't want anything to do with it in the case of the latter but there was no choice. I don't think I've ever felt so low and on many, many days I have struggled to get out of bed. I'd like to tell you some heroic story but I don't have one. It's just trying to cope.

I suppose there's a slightly quirky funny-ish bit. Dad was a high-functioning alcoholic who caused family mayhem and deep, deep emotional distress. I miss him a lot - don't ask me to explain how or why - it doesn't seem rational to me. Mostly it is just a gnawing ache of the heart and a strong sense that an irreplaceable central cast member in my life is gone. From time to time it is more acute and once or twice there have been tears at my desk. But I've been seen in tears at my desk so frequently since 21 May 2016 that I've actually had people ask me if I'm watching Cup Final clips again.

So there are days when Dad dies and there are days when Hibs win the Cup. I hope every supporter of every club has something as God-given as that to help lift them up.

[Greenworld]

To all brothers (and sisters) on this thread I can only offer this.

I have two approaches. One is to try to cope with it before, during and after its here by doing all the things CWG mentioned in his last post. They don't stop it but they do mitigate it to some extent. The other is to almost try to remove myself from the immediacy of it when it's here with what is almost a mantra - this is just a phase. It is just a phase, you always come out the other side sooner or later and if you are able to fasten on to that you can almost look at yourself going through it from a distance. So it gets to be in you while it is there, but the crucial thing is it doesn't get to be you completely. It's a short term guest.

My dad died in October last year. Not long afterward a close relative was murdered. I had to organise two funerals, ID a body, deal with the aftermath (including a still ongoing legal dispute on inheritance). I didn't want anything to do with it in the case of the latter but there was no choice. I don't think I've ever felt so low and on many, many days I have struggled to get out of bed. I'd like to tell you some heroic story but I don't have one. It's just trying to cope.

I suppose there's a slightly quirky funny-ish bit. Dad was a high-functioning alcoholic who caused family mayhem and deep, deep emotional distress. I miss him a lot - don't ask me to explain how or why - it doesn't seem rational to me. Mostly it is just a gnawing ache of the heart and a strong sense that an irreplaceable central cast member in my life is gone. From time to time it is more acute and once or twice there have been tears at my desk. But I've been seen in tears at my desk so frequently since 21 May 2016 that I've actually had people ask me if I'm watching Cup Final clips again.

So there are days when Dad dies and there are days when Hibs win the Cup. I hope every supporter of every club has something as God-given as that to help lift them up.Reading all the comments here it's amazing how many people are suffering some sort of anxiety/ Depression type condition.
I have battled it for about 15 years on and off . Much worse over the last few years.
Reading all the comments of help is refreshing as I can relate to so many of them.
I have gone on medication for the fist time as my downs were lasting to long and I felt people were getting bored with my strange behaviours of being very remote and quite not wanting to be part of the fun or conversation.
Often just staring as if in a different world.
I spoke again with the doctor and explained how I was feeling and the medication has certainly helped me combined with me withdrawing from things or positions that I know raise my anxiety levels.
It's not easy especially as it meant leaving the work I was involved in but it was the only way forward .
People generally are very supportive I have not told everyone a selective few but you always get the ones that sneer or laugh at the condition but I now just smile and pitty them and hope they never have to deal with the anxiety attacks I get .
Good luck to you all with however you are trying to deal with your issues.


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[wpj]

Back here again.. after coming off my meds about a year and a half ago things were slowly progressing with the help of counseling through my work (nhs) The theory being that I'd built up a self preservation system through a few traumas until the sudden passing of my parents in a short period of time that over flowed the cup so to speak. I was slowly beginning to to come to terms with the previous traumas and accept that they did me no harm long term.
Unfortunately my brother was suffering depression unknown to myself and thought that the world would be better off without him at the weekend, if only he'd talked about it..... Going on a selfish note, I'm feeling absolutely nothing, I've lost the last of my birth family and not an emotion. The self preservation has kicked in again I suppose, don't know what to do!!

So sorry to hear about you losses, wishing you well at this very difficult time. You are not alone.

[Hibs Class]

Good article here. Not the first to suffer, nor the first to speak out., but still well worth a read.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41599714

[Hiber-nation]

Good article here. Not the first to suffer, nor the first to speak out., but still well worth a read.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41599714

I was just going to post this. Hopefully it will be of help to someone.

[Sir David Gray]

I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

That must've been a difficult one to post SDG, I hope it all works out fine in the long run.

[Pretty Boy]

I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

Must have been a terrible experience for you. Sadly it’s a time of year that can be very difficult for those struggling with their mental health. Trying to put a face on and join in all the fun and laughter when you struggling can really take it’s toll. Hopefully your Dad is taking the 1st steps towards getting the help he needs.

The best advice I can give with regards to supporting him is just be there when you can. It doesn’t have to be big deep chats or constantly asking how he is or anything. Sometimes just having someone else around to make a cup of tea or whatever can be a huge help. It’s a real reassurance to know someone is there if you want to talk or to sit with you quietly if you don’t.

[Sir David Gray]

That must've been a difficult one to post SDG, I hope it all works out fine in the long run.

Thanks mate yeah it's certainly been the toughest day of my life. Hopefully today's reached the lowest it can possibly go and it can only get better.

The whole thing just seems surreal, it hasn't really sunk in yet.

[Sir David Gray]

Must have been a terrible experience for you. Sadly it’s a time of year that can be very difficult for those struggling with their mental health. Trying to put a face on and join in all the fun and laughter when you struggling can really take it’s toll. Hopefully your Dad is taking the 1st steps towards getting the help he needs.

The best advice I can give with regards to supporting him is just be there when you can. It doesn’t have to be big deep chats or constantly asking how he is or anything. Sometimes just having someone else around to make a cup of tea or whatever can be a huge help. It’s a real reassurance to know someone is there if you want to talk or to sit with you quietly if you don’t.

Thanks mate, I really appreciate that. You're spot on about this time of year. It can often be the loneliest time of the year for a lot of people. He's also felt guilty as he can't really afford to buy many presents for anyone that he usually buys so that has added to his problems.

I'm conscious of being too overbearing and smothering him when he's home. I don't want to do that but it will be hard as I'll be dreading leaving him on his own.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Thanks mate yeah it's certainly been the toughest day of my life. Hopefully today's reached the lowest it can possibly go and it can only get better.

The whole thing just seems surreal, it hasn't really sunk in yet.

Try and keep your head up and follow your own advice about talking to someone to help you navigate your way through it.

[Mon Dieu4]

Sorry to hear what you have been through SDG, sounds like a horrid time, I went through the same with my Dad with the job aspect, he found himself unemployed(through choice) after a long career and high powered job, he felt like no one would want him at his age and felt useless

He took on few different jobs completely different from what he was doing before and didn't really like any of them but he stuck at it and now has a job he is in total love with

There is hope out there and I'm glad your Dad is getting the help he needs

[patch1875]

All the best to your dad.

[Sir David Gray]

Try and keep your head up and follow your own advice about talking to someone to help you navigate your way through it.


All the best to your dad.

Thanks guys, it's greatly appreciated.


Sorry to hear what you have been through SDG, sounds like a horrid time, I went through the same with my Dad with the job aspect, he found himself unemployed(through choice) after a long career and high powered job, he felt like no one would want him at his age and felt useless

He took on few different jobs completely different from what he was doing before and didn't really like any of them but he stuck at it and now has a job he is in total love with

There is hope out there and I'm glad your Dad is getting the help he needs

Thanks for this mate, it sounds very similar circumstances. After about 7 months of searching, he finally got a job a few weeks ago but quickly realised that there was a lot more to it than he first realised and he didn't feel that he had the required skills to do the job so packed it in after two weeks. This really knocked his confidence and he now feels "unemployable". The recruitment agency he was working with have also cut ties with him since he left which made it worse.

I know that there will be a job out there for him, maybe not on the same salary but that's not the be all and end all. It's all about restoring his self belief again though which will take time. Hopefully once he starts to speak about his feelings and gets the help that he needs, he will realise that there are jobs out there for him to do, even at the age he's at.

It's the usual alpha male attitude that my dad has though which is prevalent in a lot of men and I think that's one of the main causes of suicide rates being higher in men. There's an assumption that men must provide the goods for the family and when that doesn't happen, their pride and self worth is hit.

I'm glad to hear that your dad is in a much better place now and hopefully the same will happen with my dad over the coming weeks and months.

[Scouse Hibee]

I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

Sorry to hear that SDG, I can only imagine what a traumatic experience that must have been for you personally. Good to hear your Dad is responsive to the efforts being made to help him and I sincerely hope he manages to turn things around positively. Stick in mate, your support will be invaluable to your Dad's recovery. Best regards to you and your family at this difficult time.

[Sir David Gray]

Sorry to hear that SDG, I can only imagine what a traumatic experience that must have been for you personally. Good to hear your Dad is responsive to the efforts being made to help him and I sincerely hope he manages to turn things around positively. Stick in mate, your support will be invaluable to your Dad's recovery. Best regards to you and your family at this difficult time.

Thanks a lot mate, I genuinely appreciate your kind words.

[hibsbollah]

That's awful SDG. I'm really sorry to hear that. I have had some experience of this too.

There will be a protocol that the health people will go through with your dad and the family, I'd just say get all the help that is offered to you. Never say no to help because you don't want to be a nuisance. Ignore any stigma you might feel, it's not important. Also dont fall into the trap of blaming yourself at any point. This will be very traumatic for you even if you don't realise it straight away and you need to look after yourself and don't give yourself a hard time.

Good luck to you and the family :aok:

[Sir David Gray]

That's awful SDG. I'm really sorry to hear that. I have had some experience of this too.

There will be a protocol that the health people will go through with your dad and the family, I'd just say get all the help that is offered to you. Never say no to help because you don't want to be a nuisance. Ignore any stigma you might feel, it's not important. Also dont not to fall into the trap of blaming yourself at any point. This will be very traumatic for you even if you don't realise it straight away and you need to look after yourself and don't give yourself a hard time.

Good luck to you and the family :aok:

Thanks mate much appreciated. I know we have had our differences over the years but it's at times like this that you realise what is truly important in life.

I am really keen for there not to be any stigma attached to this and for it to all be out in the open. Keeping it bottled up isn't good for anyone and it's what lead to this in the first place.

I wish more people would open up about mental health, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

There is a part of me that is questioning my role in it all if i'm honest and i've been asking myself if I could have done anything differently or helped more to prevent it from getting to this point.

I have no first hand experience of anything like this and to be honest i'm quite scared of the road ahead. I'm more than happy to take any help or guidance that is offered to me and the family.

[Mr White]

Thanks mate much appreciated. I know we have had our differences over the years but it's at times like this that you realise what is truly important in life.

I am really keen for there not to be any stigma attached to this and for it to all be out in the open. Keeping it bottled up isn't good for anyone and it's what lead to this in the first place.

I wish more people would open up about mental health, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

There is a part of me that is questioning my role in it all if i'm honest and i've been asking myself if I could have done anything differently or helped more to prevent it from getting to this point.

I have no first hand experience of anything like this and to be honest i'm quite scared of the road ahead. I'm more than happy to take any help or guidance that is offered to me and the family.

I think that's a natural reaction to such a shock. Hopefully you get the chance to speak to some of the professionals helping your dad over the coming days who might be able to give some advice on things you can do to help him going forward.

Today must have been an awful experience for you. I hope in time you both look back at it as the beginning of a massive improvement in your dad's life. All the best SDG.

[Sir David Gray]

I think that's a natural reaction to such a shock. Hopefully you get the chance to speak to some of the professionals helping your dad over the coming days who might be able to give some advice on things you can do to help him going forward.

Today must have been an awful experience for you. I hope in time you both look back at it as the beginning of a massive improvement in your dad's life. All the best SDG.

Thanks a lot mate, much appreciated.

[Sylar]

I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

Really sorry to read that SDG - I understand that finances can drive people to irrational acts at this time of the year, as raging commercialism compels people to do things they wouldn't normally. Combine that 'expectation' with financial concerns, a decreasing sense of self-worth and independence and it's easy to see why this particular time of the year is a dark experience for people like your dad who are going through mental health changes. In the coming days, in addition to your dad, do make sure that YOU are OK. It can be a horrifically unsettling and imbalancing experience and you might well find you'll need support too.

I can't really give you any long-term advice on supporting someone through it I'm afraid, as I've been fortunate to not have anyone in that situation in my own life. Having said that, I've intervened with a stranger's efforts to take their own life and ended up being in contact with them for a wee while afterwards - just chatting to them about their day to day comings and goings, positive stories and things that they enjoyed doing was my tactic, and over the short period of time I spoke with this person after their almost experience, I noticed a lightening in them. Talking is sometimes enough, and factor in talking about things they enjoy to remind them about the good things in life has to be a good starting point - there'll be a time for the more in-depth stuff, but even then, sometimes it's best left to the professionals that can deal with it more readily. You might find your dad won't want to talk about it with those he loves, as it'll have been a deeply upsetting experience for all concerned.

I was actually intending to post something wishing everyone well for the holiday period and seeing everyone was doing OK, but your post stopped me in my tracks a little. I read Matt Haig's book a wee while back, 'Reasons to Stay Alive', and he discussed coping with Christmas in one of the chapters - he introduced me to an artistic concept, chiarascuro, which is the balance between light and shade, especially at this time of year. The lights, the tinsel, the merriment, the expectation of socialising and being 'on point' and outwardly happy is often at complete loggerheads to the darkness of mental illness, and that can be a total destabiliser at this time of the year. It's important to recognise that, not just in yourself, but in the way you interact and impose expectation etc on others.

[Sir David Gray]

Really sorry to read that SDG - I understand that finances can drive people to irrational acts at this time of the year, as raging commercialism compels people to do things they wouldn't normally. Combine that 'expectation' with financial concerns, a decreasing sense of self-worth and independence and it's easy to see why this particular time of the year is a dark experience for people like your dad who are going through mental health changes. In the coming days, in addition to your dad, do make sure that YOU are OK. It can be a horrifically unsettling and imbalancing experience and you might well find you'll need support too.

I can't really give you any long-term advice on supporting someone through it I'm afraid, as I've been fortunate to not have anyone in that situation in my own life. Having said that, I've intervened with a stranger's efforts to take their own life and ended up being in contact with them for a wee while afterwards - just chatting to them about their day to day comings and goings, positive stories and things that they enjoyed doing was my tactic, and over the short period of time I spoke with this person after their almost experience, I noticed a lightening in them. Talking is sometimes enough, and factor in talking about things they enjoy to remind them about the good things in life has to be a good starting point - there'll be a time for the more in-depth stuff, but even then, sometimes it's best left to the professionals that can deal with it more readily. You might find your dad won't want to talk about it with those he loves, as it'll have been a deeply upsetting experience for all concerned.

I was actually intending to post something wishing everyone well for the holiday period and seeing everyone was doing OK, but your post stopped me in my tracks a little. I read Matt Haig's book a wee while back, 'Reasons to Stay Alive', and he discussed coping with Christmas in one of the chapters - he introduced me to an artistic concept, chiarascuro, which is the balance between light and shade, especially at this time of year. The lights, the tinsel, the merriment, the expectation of socialising and being 'on point' and outwardly happy is often at complete loggerheads to the darkness of mental illness, and that can be a total destabiliser at this time of the year. It's important to recognise that, not just in yourself, but in the way you interact and impose expectation etc on others.

Thank you very much mate, I appreciate the time you have taken to write such a detailed and thoughtful reply to my post.

Thanks to everyone who has replied to me, I genuinely appreciate everyone who has taken time to show concern for me and wish me and my family well.

I am going to take the advice of anyone who is willing to give it to me. There is no quick fix to this and not something that paracetamol and a plaster will sort out.

He is currently in hospital, I've no idea how long someone is normally kept in after a suicide attempt but from a selfish point of view, it's almost easier to cope with while he's in there. The real hard work starts once he's home and we have to look after him ourselves.

[stu in nottingham]

I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

I am so sorry for what your father, you and your family have gone through with this experience. I wish for you all a better future.

Some on here may remember that I lost my partner when she took her own life three years ago last February. There was great kindness shown to me at that time from the people of this site and it pleases me to see that you are receiving similar from our friends here.

Filled with great grief and trauma at that time, I set to understanding how to survive myself as I frankly, wasn't clear that I wanted to. In a call to the Samaritans they referred me to a charitable organisation that dealt specifically in suicide bereavement. This organisation communicates via phone calls and email and may be of use to you. I am sure the Samaritans could signpost you to them.

In addition, after a while I registered as a member of the site below for suicide survivors. It has, among other things, forums with people who have had similar experiences to yours and mine. It's US based but as we know, a universal problem. You may find it helpful:

http://www.allianceofhope.org

I'd like to say also, please feel free to drop me a line via pm any time. Not only do I have personal experience but also deal with the subject of potential suicide in my own work counselling people with addictions.

All the best mate.

[Sir David Gray]

I am so sorry for what your father, you and your family have gone through with this experience. I wish for you all a better future.

Some on here may remember that I lost my partner when she took her own life three years ago last February. There was great kindness shown to me at that time from the people of this site and it pleases me to see that you are receiving similar from our friends here.

Filled with great grief and trauma at that time, I set to understanding how to survive myself as I frankly, wasn't clear that I wanted to. In a call to the Samaritans they referred me to a charitable organisation that dealt specifically in suicide bereavement. This organisation communicates via phone calls and email and may be of use to you. I am sure the Samaritans could signpost you to them.

In addition, after a while I registered as a member of the site below for suicide survivors. It has, among other things, forums with people who have had similar experiences to yours and mine. It's US based but as we know, a universal problem. You may find it helpful:

http://www.allianceofhope.org

I'd like to say also, please feel free to drop me a line via pm any time. Not only do I have personal experience but also deal with the subject of potential suicide in my own work counselling people with addictions.

All the best mate.

Thanks a lot mate, I really appreciate the help and guidance on where to get some support.

I remember reading your post about your partner and to be honest it was part of the reason that prompted me to write my own post on here. Your words then were very inspiring, even although at that time I had no personal experience of what you were going through.

Although I thankfully still haven't lost anyone to suicide, I came very close yesterday and mental health awareness is something that I am going to pay much greater attention to going forward.

Thank you for your kind words, all the best to you and your family and I'll take a look at the information you have referred to in your post.

Cheers pal.

[stoneyburn hibs]

That must have been an awful experience SDG. Hopefully your father is recovering well, best wishes.

[Sir David Gray]

That must have been an awful experience SDG. Hopefully your father is recovering well, best wishes.

Thank you mate. I went this evening to see him and although he was far from "normal" he was certainly looking a lot better than he was yesterday. He was making eye contact with us throughout which he didn't do yesterday and there was a clear acceptance that he needed to get better and he needed to keep communicating with us to allow him to get better. There was also no attempt at apologising tonight which I was glad to see.

There's a long road ahead for all of us but I left tonight feeling a bit more hopeful than I did yesterday and hopefully it will allow me to sleep better tonight as I didn't manage that last night.

[wpj]

This thread always makes me sad but proud at the same time. SDG I really hope things work out for you all. Your dad is getting support which is the main thing at the moment. It can be an awful time of year and without wanting to go into details it's not going to be a great Christmas for me. I do have a lovely time planned for just after Christmas though which is helping. A long walk on Christmas day and watching Royston Town on boxing day will see me right. To all who post or look at this thread have a good one and if you need to talk make sure you do. There are many who can and will help.

[MSK]

Thinking of you & your family SDG, my Dad tried similar many years back via a cocktail of alcohol & anti depressants. We were kids at the time & had no understanding of my Dads situation, he was a drinker & we probably accepted thats the norm, not good for kids to witness. Throughout his life he had his ups & downs, sadly, mostly downs.

Thankfully he is at peace now, no more torment. As we grew into adulthood we all tried to support our Dad, we needed to know at what piint if his life, and more importantly WHY did you feel the way you did, why didnt you tell us, we were your beloved kids, you brought us into this world but you were somewhere else, fighting demons, we didnt know because you didnt tell us.

Until his death he kept it to himself, perhaps childhood trauma, his Father died when my Dad was only 7 yo, or perhaps something in early adulthood. His comfort was his bottle of vodka, whatever ate him from the inside, whatever tormented him for all those years were sadly taken with him, we will never know.

SDG, keep talking to him mate, show him your love, communication can be a release & a comfort to you all.

Aw the best bud, stay strong.

[Sir David Gray]

This thread always makes me sad but proud at the same time. SDG I really hope things work out for you all. Your dad is getting support which is the main thing at the moment. It can be an awful time of year and without wanting to go into details it's not going to be a great Christmas for me. I do have a lovely time planned for just after Christmas though which is helping. A long walk on Christmas day and watching Royston Town on boxing day will see me right. To all who post or look at this thread have a good one and if you need to talk make sure you do. There are many who can and will help.

Thanks a lot mate I really appreciate your time. I'm sorry to hear of your personal situation and I hope that it improves for you over time. Christmas can be a brilliant time of year but if you're having any problems at all then they can be exacerbated at this time of year and you often don't want to share those concerns with anyone as you don't want to spoil their own celebrations.


Thinking of you & your family SDG, my Dad tried similar many years back via a cocktail of alcohol & anti depressants. We were kids at the time & had no understanding of my Dads situation, he was a drinker & we probably accepted thats the norm, not good for kids to witness. Throughout his life he had his ups & downs, sadly, mostly downs.

Thankfully he is at peace now, no more torment. As we grew into adulthood we all tried to support our Dad, we needed to know at what piint if his life, and more importantly WHY did you feel the way you did, why didnt you tell us, we were your beloved kids, you brought us into this world but you were somewhere else, fighting demons, we didnt know because you didnt tell us.

Until his death he kept it to himself, perhaps childhood trauma, his Father died when my Dad was only 7 yo, or perhaps something in early adulthood. His comfort was his bottle of vodka, whatever ate him from the inside, whatever tormented him for all those years were sadly taken with him, we will never know.

SDG, keep talking to him mate, show him your love, communication can be a release & a comfort to you all.

Aw the best bud, stay strong.

Thanks so much mate, your situation must have been so difficult to cope with but thanks for sharing it.

It's the shock of not knowing before it's too late or almost too late that really eats away at you which you have alluded to. It's the guilt of thinking that my dad didn't feel like he could tell anyone in the family how bad he truly felt that is really getting to me just now. All the petty arguments we have had lately, have they contributed to what happened the other day?

I've been asking deep questions of myself over the past two days and wondering whether anything I've done could either have made things worse or meant that he didn't feel able to confide in me.

My dad has never been good at communicating his feelings, it's always been a criticism everyone in the family has thrown at him. He took responsibility for this last night when we spoke to him and said that the importance of talking has been drummed into him by the doctors who are currently treating him.

I'm trying to keep talking to him about normal things, I know there is a long road ahead and that things will likely never be the same again. Maybe in some ways that's not a bad thing, since the "same" almost lead to my father's death.

My head's a complete mess just now but reading this thread has genuinely helped. I don't know any of you personally but I can feel the genuine concern shown by everyone who has replied so far and your words of comfort are certainly helping me to cope and process everything.

Thank you once again.

[stu in nottingham]

It's the shock of not knowing before it's too late or almost too late that really eats away at you which you have alluded to. It's the guilt of thinking that my dad didn't feel like he could tell anyone in the family how bad he truly felt that is really getting to me just now. All the petty arguments we have had lately, have they contributed to what happened the other day?

I've been asking deep questions of myself over the past two days and wondering whether anything I've done could either have made things worse or meant that he didn't feel able to confide in me.


It's important for you to understand that these feelings of guilt are very common in others where suicides and attempted suicides are concerned, you are by no means alone nor peculiar in those thoughts. In completed suicides there can even be feelings of relief, say for someone who was really suffering. Of course that in itself can cause guilt too. Other feelings are commonly those of anger, shame, fear and avoidance etc. it's a strange cocktail of feelings which is unlike other situations

A suicide bereavement counsellor in a phone call in the days after said to me that there are two questions survivors (i.e. close ones) always ask themselves after the event, one is 'could I have done more?' the other being simply 'why?' Of course in completed suicides these questions can never be answered for obvious reasons. I found myself doing this too. When emotions calmed I realised there was nothing more I could have done. I think you will too with your father.

Quite often, people with suicidal feelings don't want to burden or worry others with them and so don't talk about them. A majority of people who have suicidal feelings do not actually want to do, more accurately they don't want to live the life they are leading and this is why they should seek support by talking. Equally they should seek support as actively feeling suicidal is often temporary, say if someone has been struggling to cope with problems in their life for some time.

I think there is a big point here and that is to allow your father to speak about it in his own time, when he feels able. Your role is to be there when he is ready to talk and not feel you have to promote the dialogue. Give him a 'safe space' to talk. It will be clear to you when he is ready.

Unhelpful responses to someone who has tried to take their life include dramatising the event, criticising, panicking, being angry and making the person feel guilty or selfish.

Helpful things to say are words such as 'I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad, I'm so glad you're still here' and 'Tell me what I can do to support you because I want to help you'. Make sure they know that you're always there for them and that they can always talk to you.

We are all here for you, mate. Take care.

Stu

[hibsbollah]

It's important for you to understand that these feelings of guilt are very common in others where suicides and attempted suicides are concerned, you are by no means alone nor peculiar in those thoughts. In completed suicides there can even be feelings of relief, say for someone who was really suffering. Of course that in itself can cause guilt too. Other feelings are commonly those of anger, shame, fear and avoidance etc. it's a strange cocktail of feelings which is unlike other situations

A suicide bereavement counsellor in a phone call in the days after said to me that there are two questions survivors (i.e. close ones) always ask themselves after the event, one is 'could I have done more?' the other being simply 'why?' Of course in completed suicides these questions can never be answered for obvious reasons. I found myself doing this too. When emotions calmed I realised there was nothing more I could have done. I think you will too with your father.

Quite often, people with suicidal feelings don't want to burden or worry others with them and so don't talk about them. A majority of people who have suicidal feelings do not actually want to do, more accurately they don't want to live the life they are leading and this is why they should seek support by talking. Equally they should seek support as actively feeling suicidal is often temporary, say if someone has been struggling to cope with problems in their life for some time.

I think there is a big point here and that is to allow your father to speak about it in his own time, when he feels able. Your role is to be there when he is ready to talk and not feel you have to promote the dialogue. Give him a 'safe space' to talk. It will be clear to you when he is ready.

Unhelpful responses to someone who has tried to take their life include dramatising the event, criticising, panicking, being angry and making the person feel guilty or selfish.

Helpful things to say are words such as 'I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad, I'm so glad you're still here' and 'Tell me what I can do to support you because I want to help you'. Make sure they know that you're always there for them and that they can always talk to you.

We are all here for you, mate. Take care.

Stu

Wow, Stu. Very intelligent and inspirational post, as usual.:top marks

[stu in nottingham]

Wow, Stu. Very intelligent and inspirational post, as usual.:top marks

It's a part of my job and also I had to learn the hard way by experience but thank you mate.

I care for and feel protective of the people in this community, as so many others do. We're family. People here stepped forward for me and were fantastically kind when I needed support and a little propping up and we don't forget these things.

[Sir David Gray]

It's important for you to understand that these feelings of guilt are very common in others where suicides and attempted suicides are concerned, you are by no means alone nor peculiar in those thoughts. In completed suicides there can even be feelings of relief, say for someone who was really suffering. Of course that in itself can cause guilt too. Other feelings are commonly those of anger, shame, fear and avoidance etc. it's a strange cocktail of feelings which is unlike other situations

A suicide bereavement counsellor in a phone call in the days after said to me that there are two questions survivors (i.e. close ones) always ask themselves after the event, one is 'could I have done more?' the other being simply 'why?' Of course in completed suicides these questions can never be answered for obvious reasons. I found myself doing this too. When emotions calmed I realised there was nothing more I could have done. I think you will too with your father.

Quite often, people with suicidal feelings don't want to burden or worry others with them and so don't talk about them. A majority of people who have suicidal feelings do not actually want to do, more accurately they don't want to live the life they are leading and this is why they should seek support by talking. Equally they should seek support as actively feeling suicidal is often temporary, say if someone has been struggling to cope with problems in their life for some time.

I think there is a big point here and that is to allow your father to speak about it in his own time, when he feels able. Your role is to be there when he is ready to talk and not feel you have to promote the dialogue. Give him a 'safe space' to talk. It will be clear to you when he is ready.

Unhelpful responses to someone who has tried to take their life include dramatising the event, criticising, panicking, being angry and making the person feel guilty or selfish.

Helpful things to say are words such as 'I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad, I'm so glad you're still here' and 'Tell me what I can do to support you because I want to help you'. Make sure they know that you're always there for them and that they can always talk to you.

We are all here for you, mate. Take care.

Stu


Wow, Stu. Very intelligent and inspirational post, as usual.:top marks

I would just like to echo these sentiments.

Outstanding post and definitely a source of great comfort to me at this extremely difficult time.

[21.05.2016]

I'm coming on to this thread after my own personal experience earlier today.

This morning, I witnessed my dad dripping in blood, being taken away in an ambulance, just a short while after he had attempted to take his own life.

This is something which is completely out of character for him, there's absolutely no previous history of mental illness with him or anything that would raise concerns about suicide or self harming. I am aware that he had been feeling down recently, he was made redundant back in April from a really good job which he had been doing for many years and has struggled to find work since. At his time of life (almost 60) his employment opportunities are limited and preparing for interviews for the first time in almost 25 years has been really daunting for him. Meanwhile the money he did have is fast running out and I just don't think he has been able to cope with the fact that he has been the breadwinner all these years and suddenly he's relying on others to help him out - his pride and self worth have taken a real battering.

Although he has been feeling noticeably down, no-one in the family had any inclination that he was about to attempt to end his life.

Fortunately the attempt this morning was unsuccessful and he is currently in hospital receiving psychiatric help and he does appear to be receptive to this, which can only be a good thing.

I just wanted to put this down here as I have read this thread with interest although I never really had anything meaningful to contribute to it previously due to my lack of personal experience with this type of illness.

I guess that I just wanted to reiterate what others have said earlier on the thread which is that if anyone is reading this and feeling similar to my dad, please speak to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular, just anyone that you can trust and feel you can talk to. I feel so fortunate to still have my dad tonight as the circumstances could so easily have been much more tragic. Please do not bottle these emotions up, there's always a solution to financial problems and people who can help you. Please never think that you are a burden or that you have let anyone down by not being able to provide a certain standard of living.

Thanks for reading this, if anyone could provide me with any help on how to support someone who is recovering from a suicide attempt then I would really love to hear from you and would genuinely appreciate the help.

So sorry to hear this, what an awful experience for you. I hope he's doing ok and receiving the help he needs to get back on his feet again.

[Sir David Gray]

So sorry to hear this, what an awful experience for you. I hope he's doing ok and receiving the help he needs to get back on his feet again.

Cheers mate, yeah it's been a tough time for the family to say the least.

My dad got home last Friday and has been making progress every day. He's opening up about the issues which caused him to do what he did last week which has really helped him and we have spoken about various things as a family which, again, has helped us all.

I still have my moments and Christmas Day was a very challenging day for us all but we are slowly coming to terms with what's happened and finding a way to overcome the problems my dad was facing so that we can try to do all that we can to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

[stu in nottingham]

Cheers mate, yeah it's been a tough time for the family to say the least.

My dad got home last Friday and has been making progress every day. He's opening up about the issues which caused him to do what he did last week which has really helped him and we have spoken about various things as a family which, again, has helped us all.

I still have my moments and Christmas Day was a very challenging day for us all but we are slowly coming to terms with what's happened and finding a way to overcome the problems my dad was facing so that we can try to do all that we can to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

So glad to hear of the steady progress. It's heartening to hear that your dad and all the family are talking meaningfully. I can very much understand your Christmas Day experience, it's a time when emotions, feelings and memories are often heightened for many, let alone those like your family who have very recently been through such a critical situation. It might be said that returning to a normal routine is a friend in these situations Please remember to be kind to yourself also.

I'm sure your father will have been offered some professional support. Perhaps he may not feel (nor indeed be ready) to talk to a professional so close after the trauma. In the future though it is worth considering that it can be very helpful talking to a professional, whether that simply be a GP or referral to a counsellor or other practitioner who is removed from the situation. Again, it is a safe place for your dad to talk about whatever he feels the need to, without the fear of upsetting family members.

My best wishes to your family.

[wpj]

Happy New Year to all who use this thread or know someone who suffers from depression and or anxiety. Thanks to all for sharing, it means a lot 😊

[CropleyWasGod]

Happy New Year to all who use this thread or know someone who suffers from depression and or anxiety. Thanks to all for sharing, it means a lot [emoji4]Back at you, mate [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[21.05.2016]

Cheers mate, yeah it's been a tough time for the family to say the least.

My dad got home last Friday and has been making progress every day. He's opening up about the issues which caused him to do what he did last week which has really helped him and we have spoken about various things as a family which, again, has helped us all.

I still have my moments and Christmas Day was a very challenging day for us all but we are slowly coming to terms with what's happened and finding a way to overcome the problems my dad was facing so that we can try to do all that we can to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

One of my best mates has suffered with severe depression for years and at the start of last year attempted to take her own life. Thankfully she was found in time and taken to hospital. Like you, I was totally devastated and struggled to know what to do for the best.

It's a long road mate but she's now doing a lot better and seeing things far more positively. Don't get me wrong she still has her dark days now and again (as I guess we all do) but definatly in a far better place. I'm sure with the right support and treatment your dad too will get to the light at the end of the tunnel as well.

Keep strong.

[Sylar]

Tomorrow marks my first day back after the New Year, and it's likely to be a little bittersweet.

On the one hand, I'm glad to be through the back of the holidays and pretty ever-present family for the past 2 weeks (it's been especially rough this year, as our wee one is 8 months old and the jewel in the family just now). Family really aren't intended to be 'enjoyed' in such a persistent concentration, and I always find myself glad when the holiday season is done.

On the other hand, it's back to early starts, the dark commute, the having to play nice with others I don't ordinarily engage with. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job and I work in a positively challenging environment (well, positive apart from the constant attacks on social media regarding our 'political alignment'), but something about the return to routine has me thoroughly uncomfortable this evening.

Small potatoes compared to some of the other issues being discussed on here over the Holidays, but my entire body has been buzzing today as my anxiety ramps up again!

[wpj]

Tomorrow marks my first day back after the New Year, and it's likely to be a little bittersweet.

On the one hand, I'm glad to be through the back of the holidays and pretty ever-present family for the past 2 weeks (it's been especially rough this year, as our wee one is 8 months old and the jewel in the family just now). Family really aren't intended to be 'enjoyed' in such a persistent concentration, and I always find myself glad when the holiday season is done.

On the other hand, it's back to early starts, the dark commute, the having to play nice with others I don't ordinarily engage with. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job and I work in a positively challenging environment (well, positive apart from the constant attacks on social media regarding our 'political alignment'), but something about the return to routine has me thoroughly uncomfortable this evening.

Small potatoes compared to some of the other issues being discussed on here over the Holidays, but my entire body has been buzzing today as my anxiety ramps up again!

Not small potatoes at all mate. Really struggling this week after a family get together which was great. Work is knocking the crap out of me and I am counting down the hours until the weekend. Got a footie session booked with my wee girl which is my main focus this week. Hope things get better for you.....

[lord bunberry]

Not small potatoes at all mate. Really struggling this week after a family get together which was great. Work is knocking the crap out of me and I am counting down the hours until the weekend. Got a footie session booked with my wee girl which is my main focus this week. Hope things get better for you.....
That’s a very important point you make about giving yourself something to focus on. I’ve been going through an extended rough spell, and I alway find that giving myself something to look forward to helps a bit. For me it has to be something that doesn’t involve a lot of interaction with people other than my family( I’ve not made the last few hibs games despite having a season ticket). Planning even the smallest of things to do at the end of the week helps me enormously.

[Greenworld]

It will be a tough month for many, January always is ,as people say
going back to work
Dealing with debit over Xmas
Just dealing with people again all normal things for most but enough to boost the anxiety/ Depression of others.
It's fantastic that this thread is here and I would urge people to use it to share there issues.
We can help each other as you are amoung understanding people who have been through many things .
Please don't try and deal with these things yourself . Once you talk to someone you make the first huge step towards a better life.
I'm lucky I have a great doctor I speak to every few months it keeps me going along with the pills [emoji38][emoji38]
Were here to help [emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172]


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[21.05.2016]

It will be a tough month for many, January always is ,as people say
going back to work
Dealing with debit over Xmas
Just dealing with people again all normal things for most but enough to boost the anxiety/ Depression of others.
It's fantastic that this thread is here and I would urge people to use it to share there issues.
We can help each other as you are amoung understanding people who have been through many things .
Please don't try and deal with these things yourself . Once you talk to someone you make the first huge step towards a better life.
I'm lucky I have a great doctor I speak to every few months it keeps me going along with the pills [emoji38][emoji38]
Were here to help [emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172][emoji172]


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

Well said, Greenworld :aok: Sometimes talking, even to strangers can ease a bit of the burden. Threads like this let people know that they aren't alone and it's not uncommon to feel the way they do. Mental health affects so many of us - whether it be suffering yourself or know a loved one who is.

We need to get more people talking about mental health. Although it's getting better, there still is a stigma around the subject and people feel ashamed to talk about it. I know that for me, it sometimes felt that telling people would just make you a a burden on them or that people might think your just attention seeking. This is not the case, there are so many people and organisations out there that genuinely want to listen and help but we need to completely eradicate the fear of speaking out. I sadly know a young man who took his life a few years back, nobody knew he was depressed, he never spoke to anyone, everything seemed absolutely fine. I just wish he'd opened up to someone - it could have potentially saved his life.

[wpj]

That’s a very important point you make about giving yourself something to focus on. I’ve been going through an extended rough spell, and I alway find that giving myself something to look forward to helps a bit. For me it has to be something that doesn’t involve a lot of interaction with people other than my family( I’ve not made the last few hibs games despite having a season ticket). Planning even the smallest of things to do at the end of the week helps me enormously.

Well I went to my wee girl's first footie session and she absolutely loved it! didn't quite understand everything but she's like her dad in that aspect. Booking a block of lessons now so it will be my focus for a few weeks at least. She scored a "penalty" ran the full length of the hall with her arms in the air to hug me, probably a booking but the most golden moment for me to hold onto to in a long time.

[Mr White]

Well I went to my wee girl's first footie session and she absolutely loved it! didn't quite understand everything but she's like her dad in that aspect. Booking a block of lessons now so it will be my focus for a few weeks at least. She scored a "penalty" ran the full length of the hall with her arms in the air to hug me, probably a booking but the most golden moment for me to hold onto to in a long time.

That's a memory to cherish right there... brilliant :thumbsup:

[lord bunberry]

Well I went to my wee girl's first footie session and she absolutely loved it! didn't quite understand everything but she's like her dad in that aspect. Booking a block of lessons now so it will be my focus for a few weeks at least. She scored a "penalty" ran the full length of the hall with her arms in the air to hug me, probably a booking but the most golden moment for me to hold onto to in a long time.
Excellent stuff.

[Sir David Gray]

I was wondering if anyone on here had any knowledge of how a suicide attempt would affect home and car insurance policies.

My dad has become fixated over the past week or so with the possibility that he may not be legally allowed to drive, that his car insurance is now invalid and today he's also now saying that his home insurance is invalid.

I don't believe that any of this is actually true, especially with the home insurance, but he is adamant that both policies are at risk because he attempted to take his life.

I've had a quick look online and whilst it looks like a mental health problem could potentially increase premiums on car insurance, it's by no means a clear cut decision and the provider often needs to prove that the driver is an increased risk to other road users due to medication etc before they can increase someone's premiums.

My dad has been told by mental health home visitors and also a mental health consultant that there is nothing about his mental state or anything in any medication that he has been prescribed that makes him unable to drive but he's now got it in his head that he wouldn't be insured in the event of an accident due to the fact he attempted suicide. He's gone and phoned DVLA today and told them that he has a notifiable medical condition (which he hasn't) and now they have sent out forms that he'll need to complete.

The same goes for his home insurance. He believes that because of his suicide attempt, the home insurance is now invalid because the provider could look at it and say that he might decide to do it again and this time it could involve burning the house down.

Is anyone able to provide any links to evidence that proves he doesn't have anything to worry about because I'm at my wits end regarding this and I just don't know what to say to help him.

[Smartie]

I was wondering if anyone on here had any knowledge of how a suicide attempt would affect home and car insurance policies.

My dad has become fixated over the past week or so with the possibility that he may not be legally allowed to drive, that his car insurance is now invalid and today he's also now saying that his home insurance is invalid.

I don't believe that any of this is actually true, especially with the home insurance, but he is adamant that both policies are at risk because he attempted to take his life.

I've had a quick look online and whilst it looks like a mental health problem could potentially increase premiums on car insurance, it's by no means a clear cut decision and the provider often needs to prove that the driver is an increased risk to other road users due to medication etc before they can increase someone's premiums.

My dad has been told by mental health home visitors and also a mental health consultant that there is nothing about his mental state or anything in any medication that he has been prescribed that makes him unable to drive but he's now got it in his head that he wouldn't be insured in the event of an accident due to the fact he attempted suicide. He's gone and phoned DVLA today and told them that he has a notifiable medical condition (which he hasn't) and now they have sent out forms that he'll need to complete.

The same goes for his home insurance. He believes that because of his suicide attempt, the home insurance is now invalid because the provider could look at it and say that he might decide to do it again and this time it could involve burning the house down.

Is anyone able to provide any links to evidence that proves he doesn't have anything to worry about because I'm at my wits end regarding this and I just don't know what to say to help him.

(Disclaimer - I don't know what I'm talking about, so take this advice with caution).

His concerns are in many ways reasonable. Someone should be able to answer his questions with some knowledge, I cannot.

The problem is that there MIGHT be news that he doesn't like. How able is he to accept that right now? Having been in a bad place, having done what he has done, the last thing he might need is for it to seem like his problems are escalating by his policies being affected (they may or may not be).

I would be speaking to whichever health professionals you are in contact with about the fact that he has these concerns. He is effectively escalating problems (reasonably or otherwise) in his own head, which isn't a good thing, and I think you need to take serious professional advice on what you can and can't/ should and shouldn't say to him.

I know it sounds simple and dismissive, but his full focus needs to be on getting better - he has been/ still may well be, seriously mentally ill. People can recover from mental illnesses, so even if for example he is not allowed to drive for now, if he gets better he should be allowed to drive in future. I would be very surprised if a suicide attempt meant a permanent ban from driving.

What he is describing sounds to me like a "fear of catastrophe" - that his actions might bring about a disproportionately large reaction - I think the escalation of a suicide attempt to possibly being denied insurance as he is a risk of burning the house down is an over-escalation. I think that thinking he may be permanently be banned from driving is probably an over-escalation.

I have no basis in fact for this, but I suspect certain insurance premiums may go up. No big deal. Collectively you may have to choose a luxury somewhere that you have to do without in order to pay these premiums - as I say, in the grand scheme of things, unimportant. What IS important is that you still have your Dad, and what is most important is his recovery.

Again I have no basis for this - he may not be allowed to drive for a while. No big deal. He may have to make slightly different travel arrangements until he recovers, then he'll be fine again.


I must stress though - I think this escalation of matters in his head is a symptom, is a warning sign and I would urge you to speak to a health professional asap to get proper advice from someone who knows what they are talking about (I do not).

(Once more I must stress - the stuff I have said about insurance etc is opinion only - I have no knowledge of how insurance policies work, and I don't have much knowledge of mental illness either, other than anecdotal stuff I've picked up along the way.)

[lord bunberry]

(Disclaimer - I don't know what I'm talking about, so take this advice with caution).

His concerns are in many ways reasonable. Someone should be able to answer his questions with some knowledge, I cannot.

The problem is that there MIGHT be news that he doesn't like. How able is he to accept that right now? Having been in a bad place, having done what he has done, the last thing he might need is for it to seem like his problems are escalating by his policies being affected (they may or may not be).

I would be speaking to whichever health professionals you are in contact with about the fact that he has these concerns. He is effectively escalating problems (reasonably or otherwise) in his own head, which isn't a good thing, and I think you need to take serious professional advice on what you can and can't/ should and shouldn't say to him.

I know it sounds simple and dismissive, but his full focus needs to be on getting better - he has been/ still may well be, seriously mentally ill. People can recover from mental illnesses, so even if for example he is not allowed to drive for now, if he gets better he should be allowed to drive in future. I would be very surprised if a suicide attempt meant a permanent ban from driving.

What he is describing sounds to me like a "fear of catastrophe" - that his actions might bring about a disproportionately large reaction - I think the escalation of a suicide attempt to possibly being denied insurance as he is a risk of burning the house down is an over-escalation. I think that thinking he may be permanently be banned from driving is probably an over-escalation.

I have no basis in fact for this, but I suspect certain insurance premiums may go up. No big deal. Collectively you may have to choose a luxury somewhere that you have to do without in order to pay these premiums - as I say, in the grand scheme of things, unimportant. What IS important is that you still have your Dad, and what is most important is his recovery.

Again I have no basis for this - he may not be allowed to drive for a while. No big deal. He may have to make slightly different travel arrangements until he recovers, then he'll be fine again.


I must stress though - I think this escalation of matters in his head is a symptom, is a warning sign and I would urge you to speak to a health professional asap to get proper advice from someone who knows what they are talking about (I do not).
I’m not sure you’re right on this one mate. I’m pretty sure there’s no questions around mental health when insuring a car. I think it would be up to a medical professional to decide whether you unfit to drive. Unless your doctor has specifically told you not to drive, then any insurance company won’t ask you otherwise.

[Smartie]

I’m not sure you’re right on this one mate. I’m pretty sure there’s no questions around mental health when insuring a car. I think it would be up to a medical professional to decide whether you unfit to drive. Unless your doctor has specifically told you not to drive, then any insurance company won’t ask you otherwise.

I honestly don't know the finer details of it.

But - I would have thought that it is technically possible for a health professional to decide someone is unfit to drive - I get the feeling that this is one of the situations that SDG's Dad is concerned about. This is something that MIGHT (might not) happen. Is he in a fit place to deal with that news, if it is the case?

I would have thought that a suicide attempt alone would not be enough to justify a ban from driving on medical grounds - but I would have thought that you would have to have a green light from a professional to drive a car again afterwards (I have no idea how this would be worked out, but this is not a unique situation and I'm sure that these are questions health professionals in these circumstances will face regularly).

I don't know where normal concerns re finances end, and obsessive behaviour starts so I was just a bit concerned when SDG mentioned that his Dad now seems to be "fixated" on this issue. Given the history, and the fact that SDG's Dad is still in recovery, it just struck me as a bit of a warning.

I do think that this is one to deal with with the health professionals first, whilst some anecdotal stuff on hibs.net is all well and good.

They should be able to give him appropriate advice on the technical issues regarding how insurance, getting back behind the wheel etc works, but more importantly give him advice on how best to communicate any of this with his Dad.

[wpj]

I’m not sure you’re right on this one mate. I’m pretty sure there’s no questions around mental health when insuring a car. I think it would be up to a medical professional to decide whether you unfit to drive. Unless your doctor has specifically told you not to drive, then any insurance company won’t ask you otherwise.

Coming at it from a different view I have been cleared to drive by Swansea but have chosen not to as I have a condition where I can black out or take a dizzy turn. While I may put myself in danger but I am more concerned with hurting others. I was surprised to get the all clear to be honest but they must have their criteria. I'm not sure depression or anxiety would make someone a threat on the roads to be honest but would recommend a professional opinion. Sounds like your dad still needs support and that means you do too to cope with a massive situation, hope I'm not sounding like an arse as I genuinely hope you can all get it. Can't recomend this thread highly enough.take care......

[lord bunberry]

I honestly don't know the finer details of it.

But - I would have thought that it is technically possible for a health professional to decide someone is unfit to drive - I get the feeling that this is one of the situations that SDG's Dad is concerned about. This is something that MIGHT (might not) happen. Is he in a fit place to deal with that news, if it is the case?

I would have thought that a suicide attempt alone would not be enough to justify a ban from driving on medical grounds - but I would have thought that you would have to have a green light from a professional to drive a car again afterwards (I have no idea how this would be worked out, but this is not a unique situation and I'm sure that these are questions health professionals in these circumstances will face regularly).

I don't know where normal concerns re finances end, and obsessive behaviour starts so I was just a bit concerned when SDG mentioned that his Dad now seems to be "fixated" on this issue. Given the history, and the fact that SDG's Dad is still in recovery, it just struck me as a bit of a warning.

I do think that this is one to deal with with the health professionals first, whilst some anecdotal stuff on hibs.net is all well and good.

They should be able to give him appropriate advice on the technical issues regarding how insurance, getting back behind the wheel etc works, but more importantly give him advice on how best to communicate any of this with his Dad.

I suppose the responsible thing to do would be to seek advice from your doctor about things like driving, but I’m fairly sure that as far as insurance is concerned there’s no premium to pay. Having suffered from depression for many years, I don’t remember any questions regarding the issue. Like you though I’m not 100% sure.

[lord bunberry]

Coming at it from a different view I have been cleared to drive by Swansea but have chosen not to as I have a condition where I can black out or take a dizzy turn. While I may put myself in danger but I am more concerned with hurting others. I was surprised to get the all clear to be honest but they must have their criteria. I'm not sure depression or anxiety would make someone a threat on the roads to be honest but would recommend a professional opinion. Sounds like your dad still needs support and that means you do too to cope with a massive situation, hope I'm not sounding like an arse as I genuinely hope you can all get it. Can't recomend this thread highly enough.take care......
I’m guessing you’ve quoted the wrong post there mate :greengrin

[wpj]

I’m guessing you’ve quoted the wrong post there mate :greengrin

Quite possibly, just giving my current experience but in a ro1undabout way have also contributed to the question 😎

But yes I meant to quote SDG 😊

[Smartie]

I suppose the responsible thing to do would be to seek advice from your doctor about things like driving, but I’m fairly sure that as far as insurance is concerned there’s no premium to pay. Having suffered from depression for many years, I don’t remember any questions regarding the issue. Like you though I’m not 100% sure.

There is a wide spectrum of different types of mental illnesses and of different severities out there.

I wouldn't have thought that many forms of depression would affect someone's ability to, or liberty to drive.

But we don't know what SDG's Dad's diagnosis might be - certain forms of manic depression, schizophrenia, severe OCD etc might affect someone's safety to drive. I wouldn't have thought a suicide attempt alone would be a problem, but we don't know what else is involved here.

I have had countless types of insurance policy over the years and I cannot remember what questions were asked for what. I do know though that I have been asked about mental health in the past, so it is not beyond the realms of possibility (in my opinion) that a mental health issue could lead to someone being denied the liberty to drive a car.

I think that SDG needs proper professional help regarding first of all the facts - are his Dad's fears accurate or reasonable, and what is actually the case, but also how to speak to him if they are not.

[lord bunberry]

There is a wide spectrum of different types of mental illnesses and of different severities out there.

I wouldn't have thought that many forms of depression would affect someone's ability to, or liberty to drive.

But we don't know what SDG's Dad's diagnosis might be - certain forms of manic depression, schizophrenia, severe OCD etc might affect someone's safety to drive. I wouldn't have thought a suicide attempt alone would be a problem, but we don't know what else is involved here.

I have had countless types of insurance policy over the years and I cannot remember what questions were asked for what. I do know though that I have been asked about mental health in the past, so it is not beyond the realms of possibility (in my opinion) that a mental health issue could lead to someone being denied the liberty to drive a car.

I think that SDG needs proper professional help regarding first of all the facts - are his Dad's fears accurate or reasonable, and what is actually the case, but also how to speak to him if they are not.
I agree with almost all of that. The point sdg was making though was that his dad thought his insurance would go up. I don’t think it will. You’re either fit to drive or your not.

[Sir David Gray]

Thanks to everyone who has replied so far.

To clarify a couple of things, my dad has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. He doesn't have depression, schizophrenia or anything like that.

He's been told by a consultant and a member of the home visit team that he is fine to drive but he's constantly looking online. He's now moving on from the fact that he's not unfit to drive to now saying that his suicide attempt has basically invalidated his current car insurance and so is actually not covered if he's in an accident.

It's almost as if he's wanting someone to tell him that he can't drive. He keeps saying that the onus is on him to decide if he's able to drive which is a huge responsibility for him.

[lord bunberry]

Thanks to everyone who has replied so far.

To clarify a couple of things, my dad has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. He doesn't have depression, schizophrenia or anything like that.

He's been told by a consultant and a member of the home visit team that he is fine to drive but he's constantly looking online. He's now moving on from the fact that he's not unfit to drive to now saying that his suicide attempt has basically invalidated his current car insurance and so is actually not covered if he's in an accident.

It's almost as if he's wanting someone to tell him that he can't drive. He keeps saying that the onus is on him to decide if he's able to drive which is a huge responsibility for him.

From my own experience I would say that he’s looking for someone to take the lead and tell him not to drive. It’s really hard for a son to take the bull by the horns and tell your dad what to do. It’s almost like a passing off the baton of life. It took me ages to assume the role, and at times it’s still not something I’m comfortable with, but it’s probably something you need to do mate.

[Sir David Gray]

From my own experience I would say that he’s looking for someone to take the lead and tell him not to drive. It’s really hard for a son to take the bull by the horns and tell your dad what to do. It’s almost like a passing off the baton of life. It took me ages to assume the role, and at times it’s still not something I’m comfortable with, but it’s probably something you need to do mate.

That's exactly what I think he's looking for someone to do. No-one has done that so far, either from within the family or from the medical team looking after him.

His head is all over the place at the moment, it's really very sad. I have said to him numerous times that there's no reason for him not to drive but he just won't accept that. He's on the laptop for hours every day actively looking for things to worry about.

[lord bunberry]

That's exactly what I think he's looking for someone to do. No-one has done that so far, either from within the family or from the medical team looking after him.

His head is all over the place at the moment, it's really very sad. I have said to him numerous times that there's no reason for him not to drive but he just won't accept that. He's on the laptop for hours every day actively looking for things to worry about.

It’s a gradual process mate. You might want to start by saying that you’re going to find out one way or another. Take the decision out of his hands if that’s what you think he wants. After that it’s up to you to make what you think is the best decision for him. I’m currently going through a similar situation with my dad, the circumstances I find myself in have come around from different circumstances, but the end result probably requires the same solution. It’s not going to be easy, but try and be strong as ultimately it’s what your dad would want. Anyone who has kids will tell you that they would rather have their children step up and lead the family than it to be left to the authorities.

[Sir David Gray]

It’s a gradual process mate. You might want to start by saying that you’re going to find out one way or another. Take the decision out of his hands if that’s what you think he wants. After that it’s up to you to make what you think is the best decision for him. I’m currently going through a similar situation with my dad, the circumstances I find myself in have come around from different circumstances, but the end result probably requires the same solution. It’s not going to be easy, but try and be strong as ultimately it’s what your dad would want. Anyone who has kids will tell you that they would rather have their children step up and lead the family than it to be left to the authorities.

Thanks mate, really appreciate your input on this one and to everyone else who has offered help and guidance to me.

It really is a huge source of comfort during what has been the most difficult time of my life.

[Greenworld]

Thanks mate, really appreciate your input on this one and to everyone else who has offered help and guidance to me.

It really is a huge source of comfort during what has been the most difficult time of my life.Just been reading through your post's I am a anxiety sufferer and have been for years. Although I have recently improved the situation through medication.
I visit my doctor every few months to basically get a wee check up on my mind which I now look forward to. I have not been told I cannot drive either before or after I was prescribed medication hopefully you can maybe use this info for your dad.
I didn't see anything about medication for your dad?
It's a hellish thing anxiety it's so hard to explain people think your at it .
I have told only a close few and hide it from the rest.
One bit of advice which has helped me is trying to remove yourself from the triggers that set it off.
Now this can be quite difficult for one of things for me was the job I was doing.
Other things for me were larger groups of people I really started to panic fine in the company of 3 or 4 but make that a bigger number and my levels jump through the roof.
Looks like getting your dad of the computer at times might help him.


Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

[Pretty Boy]

Thanks to everyone who has replied so far.

To clarify a couple of things, my dad has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. He doesn't have depression, schizophrenia or anything like that.

He's been told by a consultant and a member of the home visit team that he is fine to drive but he's constantly looking online. He's now moving on from the fact that he's not unfit to drive to now saying that his suicide attempt has basically invalidated his current car insurance and so is actually not covered if he's in an accident.

It's almost as if he's wanting someone to tell him that he can't drive. He keeps saying that the onus is on him to decide if he's able to drive which is a huge responsibility for him.

It reads to me like your Dad is displaying clear symptoms of his anxiety.

When ny anxiety was at it's worst I was constantly looking for reassurance and trying to get it by asking constant questions about things, I thought I was being quite casual about it but everyone noticed. Anxiety often comes with a fixation, mines was health, and it can become very obsessive. Doesn't help answer your question but his behaviour doesn't read as abnormal based on his diagnosis.

At my worst I used to check ny tonsils in the mirror at least 20 times a day. I was obsessed with lymph nodes and constantly poking and prodding about my neck. If I was in a busy room I became terrified if I didn't know where the toilets were and walking in the street was a constant battle in my own head as I was convinced I was going to faint or have a cardiac arrest and just keel over.

There are ways to manage anxiety and get better and your Dad will get there.

[wpj]

Currently having massive anxiety attacks at silly o clock every day, dreams are so mad and random it's a *****e way to spend the day afterwords

[MSK]

Anxiety is absolutley brutal and affects people in so many different ways. Mines didnt seem to bother me to a point I was worried anything physical was wrong, my biggest problem was having an anxiety attack because I was anxious about having an an anxiety attack. As crazy as it sounds those are what pretty much rendered me incapable of any sort of cognitive thinking.

One example is when the morning arrived for my Wife and I to go to Italy, taxi was at the door ready to take us to Edin airport, I said I couldnt do it, then came the anxiety attack. I then just kept saying to myself, get in the taxi, its only Edin airport, your still near to home. What if I am anxious on the plane, aw its only a couple of hours. What happens if Im anxious in Italy, aw again its only a couple of hours away from home etc.

Constant reassurance got me through that holiday, and many more.

The way I compared anxiety with my depression.

With anxiety I worried about everything, but with depression I worried about nothing.

[MSK]

Currently having massive anxiety attacks at silly o clock every day, dreams are so mad and random it's a *****e way to spend the day afterwordsThinking o ye mate, chin up & keep fighting it 👍

[patch1875]

Currently having massive anxiety attacks at silly o clock every day, dreams are so mad and random it's a *****e way to spend the day afterwords

I just can’t completely shake the anxiety my neck shoulders and upper back are so painful as I can’t stop the tension in them I even have a sore tongue as that’s tense too!

I’m heads in a fairly good place but just can’t rid myself of it maybe I never will might give amatriptaline a go again as it helped a bit I also take St. John’s wort which seems to help the anxiety.

Hope you get your sleeping back on track poor sleep certainly doesn’t help.

[Sir David Gray]

Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.

[MSK]

Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.Thats a real blow mate, really sorry to read this news, hopefully now the mental health team give your Dad all the support he needs, it could actually be good now he has the support of professional help. Just you keep up your support mate, these places can be quite daunting & it might take a few steps backwards before things move forwards. Fingers crossed mate 👍

[Pretty Boy]

Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.

Sorry to hear that.

Keep doing what you can to support your Dad and make sure you get as much info from the hospital as you can.

[stu in nottingham]

Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.


I am so sorry to hear your news. A bit of practical info for you.

Difficult for us all to accept but the hard fact is that a repetition attempt is not uncommon. Approximately 15% of people make a further attempt in the first twelve months afterwards, the risk being highest in the first three months. Around 1% are unfortunately successful during that period.

Speaking medically, a very few patients who have attempted suicide will be deemed to need in-patient psychiatric care. These people include those with severe a psychiatric disorder and those diagnosed as being at risk of suicide. If either of these are indicated, and the patient should refuse, admission can be carried out under a Medical Health Act.

Speaking personally now to you and not as a practitioner, if the doctors feel your dad is at risk and want to keep him in hospital for care but dad wants to come home I would listen to the doctors and help encourage him to stay for treatment. My partner, before she died pleaded and pleaded with me not to 'let them' take her into hospital. I wanted to look after her and was the only person who seemed to understand her distress at this and nor was there a suggest of her being admitted but looking back I think it would have given her a better chance of surviving, though we can't know these things.

I am thinking that an out-patient Mental Health Crisis team will be assigned to your dad? If so, make sure you do your own monitoring of what they are doing to support him. I am sure you won't have the same experience but my late partner was sadly let down by hers - even to the point of them discharging her over the phone the night before she took her own life. A not incidental event influencing her fatal actions of the following day in my view. Stay on it, ask to speak to the psychiatrist and his team if you can. Don't let up.

I hope for some peace and healing in your family.

[MagicSwirlingShip]

For anyone suffering with Anxiety.

I would highly recommend looking into the benefits of CBD oil & the endocannibinoid system as a whole.

[Tornadoes70]

For anyone suffering with Anxiety.

I would highly recommend looking into the benefits of CBD oil & the endocannibinoid system as a whole.

Had a look at the subject of CBD oil and it looks as if it could be very good for a number of conditions including anxiety as you rightly say. The CBD oil being a hemp extract in absence of the THC which gives the mind bending high. Still in the experimental stage and appears to have strong beneficial potential according to what I read anyway.

:aok:

[Tornadoes70]

I am so sorry to hear your news. A bit of practical info for you.

Difficult for us all to accept but the hard fact is that a repetition attempt is not uncommon. Approximately 15% of people make a further attempt in the first twelve months afterwards, the risk being highest in the first three months. Around 1% are unfortunately successful during that period.

Speaking medically, a very few patients who have attempted suicide will be deemed to need in-patient psychiatric care. These people include those with severe a psychiatric disorder and those diagnosed as being at risk of suicide. If either of these are indicated, and the patient should refuse, admission can be carried out under a Medical Health Act.

Speaking personally now to you and not as a practitioner, if the doctors feel your dad is at risk and want to keep him in hospital for care but dad wants to come home I would listen to the doctors and help encourage him to stay for treatment. My partner, before she died pleaded and pleaded with me not to 'let them' take her into hospital. I wanted to look after her and was the only person who seemed to understand her distress at this and nor was there a suggest of her being admitted but looking back I think it would have given her a better chance of surviving, though we can't know these things.

I am thinking that an out-patient Mental Health Crisis team will be assigned to your dad? If so, make sure you do your own monitoring of what they are doing to support him. I am sure you won't have the same experience but my late partner was sadly let down by hers - even to the point of them discharging her over the phone the night before she took her own life. A not incidental event influencing her fatal actions of the following day in my view. Stay on it, ask to speak to the psychiatrist and his team if you can. Don't let up.

I hope for some peace and healing in your family.

A very helpful and thoughtful post this.

:aok:

[MagicSwirlingShip]

Had a look at the subject of CBD oil and it looks as if it could be very good for a number of conditions including anxiety as you rightly say. The CBD oil being a hemp extract in absence of the THC which gives the mind bending high. Still in the experimental stage and appears to have strong beneficial potential according to what I read anyway.

:aok:

Total game changer for me. Had been getting crippling anxiety every morning first thing and randomly throughout the day, alongside trouble sleeping.

Can’t recommend it enough.

Supplement with a healthy diet, some light exercise and as much natural sunlight as possible.

[Tornadoes70]

Total game changer for me. Had been getting crippling anxiety every morning first thing and randomly throughout the day, alongside trouble sleeping.

Can’t recommend it enough.

Supplement with a healthy diet, some light exercise and as much natural sunlight as possible.

:aok:

Good to hear the CBD oil has helped greatly for you. It could yet prove to be helpful for a number of conditions according to some of the research.

Us Scots are particularly prone to skin conditions and others that are affected by Vit D deficiency. Vit D is absorbed into the body by natural sunlight however we don't always obtain enough of the natural sunlight's Vit D even in the summer at the critical time when the body tends to squirrel away Vit D levels for the other months.

I top up with recommended intakes of optimum Vit D D3 supplements on a daily basis albeit being careful not to take too much as too much of them can have adverse effects.

[CropleyWasGod]

:aok:

Good to hear the CBD oil has helped greatly for you. It could yet prove to be helpful for a number of conditions according to some of the research.

Us Scots are particularly prone to skin conditions and others that are affected by Vit D deficiency. Vit D is absorbed into the body by natural sunlight however we don't always obtain enough of the natural sunlight's Vit D even in the summer at the critical time when the body tends to squirrel away Vit D levels for the other months.

I top up with recommended intakes of optimum Vit D D3 supplements on a daily basis albeit being careful not to take too much as too much of them can have adverse effects.

I use a lamp, which sits beside my desk throughout the day. Can't think what I'd be like without it.

[Tornadoes70]

I use a lamp, which sits beside my desk throughout the day. Can't think what I'd be like without it.

The weathers against us here for the vast majority of folk to maintain optimum levels of D3 Vit D and the medical research is there to advise us Scots and residents of other similar countries of non regular bright sunshine to have their Vit D levels checked and take supplements if required.

I was checked out a number of years ago by my then GP who is was a bit of an expert on Vit D deficiency and I was found to have a considerable deficiency according to the predicted normal levels which is why I take daily D3 Vit D supplements.

Serious D3 Vit D deficiency can lead to skin conditions and the more serious Osteoporosis among other effects. Its well worth being checked out for Vit D levels when one can.

[MagicSwirlingShip]

The weathers against us here for the vast majority of folk to maintain optimum levels of D3 Vit D and the medical research is there to advise us Scots and residents of other similar countries of non regular bright sunshine to have their Vit D levels checked and take supplements if required.

I was checked out a number of years ago by my then GP who is was a bit of an expert on Vit D deficiency and I was found to have a considerable deficiency according to the predicted normal levels which is why I take daily D3 Vit D supplements.

Serious D3 Vit D deficiency can lead to skin conditions and the more serious Osteoporosis among other effects. Its well worth being checked out for Vit D levels when one can.

That’s crazy. I just ordered these last night. Been struggling with my skin big time this winter after a year working nightshift. It was this, coupled with increased anxiety and radge insomnia that led me to research CBD, Vitamin D & 5-HTP.

Do you think this dose (3000IU) is ok for daily use or am I best doing alternate days?

[MagicSwirlingShip]

I use a lamp, which sits beside my desk throughout the day. Can't think what I'd be like without it.

Do you have a link fella? Been looking into this also...

[Tornadoes70]

That’s crazy. I just ordered these last night. Been struggling with my skin big time this winter after a year working nightshift. It was this, coupled with increased anxiety and radge insomnia that led me to research CBD, Vitamin D & 5-HTP.

Do you think this dose (3000IU) is ok for daily use or am I best doing alternate days?


That's far too much to begin with for someone who's not been checked out by the GP.

If you're concerned about your Vit D levels go to the GP who can run simple checks and who will recommend the top up amount required if required at all.

Vit D has great benefits but too much Vit D can have adverse effects.

Go to the GP who will advise you, seriously mate.

:aok:

[Tornadoes70]

Do you have a link fella? Been looking into this also...

I think CWG is referring to the Sunray UV lamps that are used in hospitals for folk with conditions such as eczema etc. Some folk can be rushed to hospital with acute skin conditions and are treated with stand up UV ray machines with less serious conditions treated with smaller lamps. A few minutes a week may be suitable for you in a stand up tanning clinic.

However it would be far better for you if you attended your GP to discuss it and run simple tests with her advising you.

:aok:

[MagicSwirlingShip]

Nice one mate, cheers for the advice.

I’ve been back & forward since September, been referred to the Dept for Sleep Medicine & Dermatology. Taking forever though.

Will hold off on the Vitamin D3 in the meantime, or perhaps pick up some lighter ones.

Appreciated 👍🏻

[Tornadoes70]

Nice one mate, cheers for the advice.

I’ve been back & forward since September, been referred to the Dept for Sleep Medicine & Dermatology. Taking forever though.

Will hold off on the Vitamin D3 in the meantime, or perhaps pick up some lighter ones.

Appreciated ����

No probs mate.

Hope you get your appointment soon and they should advise you on the limits of what you can do for yourself alongside their provided treatment and care.

:aok:

[CropleyWasGod]

I think CWG is referring to the Sunray UV lamps that are used in hospitals for folk with conditions such as eczema etc. Some folk can be rushed to hospital with acute skin conditions and are treated with stand up UV ray machines with less serious conditions treated with smaller lamps. A few minutes a week may be suitable for you in a stand up tanning clinic.

However it would be far better for you if you attended your GP to discuss it and run simple tests with her advising you.

:aok:I'm not.

I'm referring to the lamps that are commercially available to anyone who has issues with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Mine is on 6 hours a day at this time of the year.

I'll post the link for mine tomorrow.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Tornadoes70]

I'm not.

I'm referring to the lamps that are commercially available to anyone who has issues with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Mine is on 6 hours a day at this time of the year.

I'll post the link for mine tomorrow.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

Apologies mate. I thought the lamps you were referring to were the Ultraviolet lamps hospitals use for treating skin conditions like eczema.

Hope the Seasonal Affective Disorder lamps help with the condition.

:aok:

[CropleyWasGod]

Do you have a link fella? Been looking into this also...

This is the one I've had for years.

https://www.bodykind.com/product/2033-britebox-energise-sad-light-box.aspx

[wpj]

This is the one I've had for years.

https://www.bodykind.com/product/2033-britebox-energise-sad-light-box.aspx

I think I'm going to have to look into the treatments in more detail. I have a great reading lamp with dozens of settings but I doubt it's really a "light box" I do like it though 😎
Back off work this week and struggling.

[green leaves]

has been creeping up for a wee while but back on tablets and struggling
A really good thread that lets you know your not alone

[Pretty Boy]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-42901550

This article caught my eye on the BBC this morning. It's very sad some people still think it's acceptable to act in such a way. On the flip side it's currently the most read story on the BBC site and I'd hope the majority of people are clicking on it because they are appalled by the headline.

[CropleyWasGod]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-42901550

This article caught my eye on the BBC this morning. It's very sad some people still think it's acceptable to act in such a way. On the flip side it's currently the most read story on the BBC site and I'd hope the majority of people are clicking on it because they are appalled by the headline.

Football is, as we all know, someting that lives in a bubble. Football fans (and players) will find a way to abuse the other team's players, in the belief that that player will be intimidated and play less well. That's a sad fact of life, no matter how abhorrent (most) people find it.

This guy's case will do nothing other than intimidate others from putting their head above the parapet. It's in the same bag as gay players. "This is what you're gonna get, so just stay in the closet..."

Conversely, I am amazed that NL hasn't (to my knowledge) received much abuse about his own issues. I would have thought he was an easy target in that respect. Or maybe being a Fenian ******* is worse than being a mentalist? :rolleyes:

[Peevemor]

Football is, as we all know, someting that lives in a bubble. Football fans (and players) will find a way to abuse the other team's players, in the belief that that player will be intimidated and play less well. That's a sad fact of life, no matter how abhorrent (most) people find it.

This guy's case will do nothing other than intimidate others from putting their head above the parapet. It's in the same bag as gay players. "This is what you're gonna get, so just stay in the closet..."

Conversely, I am amazed that NL hasn't (to my knowledge) received much abuse about his own issues. I would have thought he was an easy target in that respect. Or maybe being a Fenian ******* is worse than being a mentalist? :rolleyes:

:agree: Football fans (including our own) will hurl all sorts of abuse at players and then become hyper-sensitive and shocked if a player makes a daft gesture in return.

5Some) People tend to leave reality and humanity at the turnstiles.

[Sir David Gray]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-42901550

This article caught my eye on the BBC this morning. It's very sad some people still think it's acceptable to act in such a way. On the flip side it's currently the most read story on the BBC site and I'd hope the majority of people are clicking on it because they are appalled by the headline.

I knew what that article was before even clicking on your link.

It's absolutely despicable that people would say such things to another human being. All I will say is that they don't know what's in store for them later in life. Mental illness can hit anyone at any time.

The guy's extremely brave for being able to speak up about his issues and I have nothing but respect for him. I hope those who have chosen to mock him are named and shamed and are dealt with appropriately.

Absolute $cum.

[CropleyWasGod]

I knew what that article was before even clicking on your link.

It's absolutely despicable that people would say such things to another human being. All I will say is that they don't know what's in store for them later in life. Mental illness can hit anyone at any time.

The guy's extremely brave for being able to speak up about his issues and I have nothing but respect for him. I hope those who have chosen to mock him are named and shamed and are dealt with appropriately.

Absolute $cum.The problem is.... how can they be "dealt with appropriately"?

There's little in place to sanction those who abuse people on the basis of their mental health. As you know, of course, abuse and discrimination towards people with physical issues is (slowly) being dealt with, socially and legally. The mental health equivalent is a long way off.

Part of that stems from the lack of visibility of mental illness, of course, but where it becomes an obvious issue ( as in this guy's case), there is cause for including something appropriate in that warning that is read out before each game.... the one about challenging or abusing people on the basis of their race, sexual orientation etc.?

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[Sir David Gray]

The problem is.... how can they be "dealt with appropriately"?

There's little in place to sanction those who abuse people on the basis of their mental health. As you know, of course, abuse and discrimination towards people with physical issues is (slowly) being dealt with, socially and legally. The mental health equivalent is a long way off.

Part of that stems from the lack of visibility of mental illness, of course, but where it becomes an obvious issue ( as in this guy's case), there is cause for including something appropriate in that warning that is read out before each game.... the one about challenging or abusing people on the basis of their race, sexual orientation etc.?

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

In cases like this, it really should be cut and dried. He has been open about his depression, suicide attempts and his mental health in general for quite a few years now so people will be aware of his circumstances. So any comments like "go and hang yourself properly this time" and "watch your wrists wee man, oh better not wind you up since you're a psycho" really should be dealt with in the same way that abusive comments on the grounds of race or sexuality would be dealt with at the moment.

It is absolutely unacceptable to say something like that to someone and I honestly cannot understand what would make anyone want to say that to another person. The penalties should be severe for this type of thing.

[CropleyWasGod]

In cases like this, it really should be cut and dried. He has been open about his depression, suicide attempts and his mental health in general for quite a few years now so people will be aware of his circumstances. So any comments like "go and hang yourself properly this time" and "watch your wrists wee man, oh better not wind you up since you're a psycho" really should be dealt with in the same way that abusive comments on the grounds of race or sexuality would be dealt with at the moment.

It is absolutely unacceptable to say something like that to someone and I honestly cannot understand what would make anyone want to say that to another person. The penalties should be severe for this type of thing.It could be argued that we already have appropriate laws in place.

Lawyers on here will correct me if I'm wrong, but IIRC the test for breach of the peace is whether it puts someone in a state of fear or alarm. It's a stretch, but abusing someone on the basis of their mental health might fall under that.

I'm lucky that I'm strong enough now after 20 odd years to deal with crap like that, but not everyone is. It is the kind of thing that could push a person over the edge.

Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

[lapsedhibee]

It is absolutely unacceptable to say something like that to someone and I honestly cannot understand what would make anyone want to say that to another person. The penalties should be severe for this type of thing.

Sure you can. To gain a competitive advantage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvNkkdfNwEg

[Just Alf]

Your last paragraph worries me a bit... My daughter left school and has gone to college, she's having some difficulties and her "friends" still at school are really sticking the knife in on Facebook, twitter Snapchat etc it's like they want to make the point she's made the wrong decision while they've made the right one ... If it wasn't for her college pals who range in age from 16 to late 20's that are being really supportive I worry where it would all end.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

[CropleyWasGod]

Your last paragraph worries me a bit... My daughter left school and has gone to college, she's having some difficulties and her "friends" still at school are really sticking the knife in on Facebook, twitter Snapchat etc it's like they want to make the point she's made the wrong decision while they've made the right one ... If it wasn't for her college pals who range in age from 16 to late 20's that are being really supportive I worry where it would all end.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

My last paragraph? Not sure if you meant to quote me.

Colleges these days have (relative to our day) much better support services. You might want to ease her their way.

[Sir David Gray]

Sure you can. To gain a competitive advantage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvNkkdfNwEg

That's a lot more than simply trying to gain a competitive advantage.

That is extremely nasty, bullying behaviour that could lead to devastating consequences depending on the person's state of mind at the time.

There's countlesss other ways that someone can try to gain a competitive advantage over a rival without resorting to things like this.

[Just Alf]

My last paragraph? Not sure if you meant to quote me.

Colleges these days have (relative to our day) much better support services. You might want to ease her their way.Hi CWG... I did mean yer last paragraph :-)

And to quote you :-)



Totally agree, re the college, they're being very supportive.... One thing that's really become obvious is the difference in behaviour between those kids at school and those at college OF THE SAME AGE, it does seem that a lot of how people behave is driven by those around them.

Hope that makes sense.


Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

[Just Alf]

Hi CWG... I did mean yer last paragraph :-)

And to quote you :-)



Totally agree, re the college, they're being very supportive.... One thing that's really become obvious is the difference in behaviour between those kids at school and those at college OF THE SAME AGE, it does seem that a lot of how people behave is driven by those around them.

Hope that makes sense.


Sent from my SM-G925F using TapatalkTo be clear, I'm meaning my daughter moving from one situation (school) to another (college) and the grief she's getting from her old "friends" still at school who're trying to tell her she's made a mistake in moving on before them.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

[lapsedhibee]

That's a lot more than simply trying to gain a competitive advantage.

That is extremely nasty, bullying behaviour that could lead to devastating consequences depending on the person's state of mind at the time.

There's countlesss other ways that someone can try to gain a competitive advantage over a rival without resorting to things like this.

Yeah, does seem to go beyond mere sledging. I do wonder if at its heart it's about putting the target off his game, though. "The former Forfar Athletic striker said that on the pitch, opponents had used his depression to undermine his efforts during games." Wasn't it Lenny who used to constantly taunt opponents about how little they earned compared to him? Always thought even that was a bit off, and there's no comparison there with what's being described in David Cox's case.

[wpj]

Interesting and encouraging to see a post on the main board re depression and anxiety. I'm off work at the moment and while it is most likely the above I have been signed off with cardiology issues which is also true, feels a bit of a cop out to prefer this reason to mental health reasons but one does involve the other just one seems more acceptable (even though I work in health). I feel I am letting fellow sufferes down

[JimBHibees]

Yeah, does seem to go beyond mere sledging. I do wonder if at its heart it's about putting the target off his game, though. "The former Forfar Athletic striker said that on the pitch, opponents had used his depression to undermine his efforts during games." Wasn't it Lenny who used to constantly taunt opponents about how little they earned compared to him? Always thought even that was a bit off, and there's no comparison there with what's being described in David Cox's case.

Was it not Craig Bellamy when at Celtic, can remember when they lost to Clyde in the cup and comments to a Clyde player about cutting his grass. Of course Lennon might have dome similar.

[lapsedhibee]

Was it not Craig Bellamy when at Celtic, can remember when they lost to Clyde in the cup and comments to a Clyde player about cutting his grass. Of course Lennon might have dome similar.

Ah yes, you're right, Bellamy. Got mixed up between the two unlikeable Celtc players.

[lord bunberry]

Hibs are hosting an event next Tuesday that is open to anyone between 30-65. Apparently mental health is involved in the event. I’ve not heard that officially from hibs, but others have mentioned it.

[wpj]

Hibs are hosting an event next Tuesday that is open to anyone between 30-65. Apparently mental health is involved in the event. I’ve not heard that officially from hibs, but others have mentioned it.

Can't make it due to location but the idea of meeting up for a game with other posters on this thread still appeals. Was discussed a while back.