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  1. 13-06-2024 09:14 PM #1291
    Just Alf
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    Quote Originally Posted by WeeRussell View Post
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    Been rain forecast but clear skies all day. So I asked my siri, “surely it’s not going to rain today?”

    Siri replied “It is not going to rain today. And don’t call me Shirley”

    It was then I realised I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
    Ha ha
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  2. 14-06-2024 09:22 AM #1292
    RyeSloan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    Is this some kind of joke?
    I believe you need to channel your inner Leslie Neilson for it to be so…
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  3. 14-06-2024 09:30 AM #1293
    Scouse Hibee
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    Quote Originally Posted by WeeRussell View Post
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    Been rain forecast but clear skies all day. So I asked my siri, “surely it’s not going to rain today?”

    Siri replied “It is not going to rain today. And don’t call me Shirley”

    It was then I realised I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
    Brilliant
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  4. 15-06-2024 08:43 PM #1294
    Hibbyradge
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    Quote Originally Posted by RyeSloan View Post
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    I believe you need to channel your inner Leslie Neilson for it to be so…
    Sorry, but you whooshed...
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!


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  5. 16-06-2024 02:31 AM #1295
    RyeSloan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    Sorry, but you whooshed...
    Aye I kind of knew that as soon as I posted it.

    Immediate thought was I’m sure the radge got that, I’m sure he was doubling down on the many decades ago humour…

    But I really couldn’t be ersed deleting or changing it so resigned myself to taking a good whooshed straight to the napper
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  6. 17-06-2024 03:08 PM #1296
    Alfiembra
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    Had a job interview the other day and got asked if I can perform under pressure?

    I said no but I know the words to Bohemian Rhapsody.
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  7. 12-07-2024 06:26 PM #1297
    Northernhibee
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    The 80’s singer Yazz just got fired from her job.

    She was never going to make it as a lift attendant.


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction
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  8. 19-07-2024 12:00 PM #1298
    AltheHibby
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    What do you call a group of witches in a jacuzzi?

    A self cleaning coven.
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  9. 19-07-2024 04:52 PM #1299
    Keith_M
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    Quote Originally Posted by AltheHibby View Post
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    What do you call a group of witches in a jacuzzi? A self cleaning coven.
    More a question than a joke, but...

    If witches can fly on a broomstick, why do I have to drive my missus to the shops?
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  10. 19-07-2024 06:07 PM #1300
    AltheHibby
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    More a question than a joke, but...

    If witches can fly on a broomstick, why do I have to drive my missus to the shops?
    Just in case either of our wives reads this, I w8sh to distance myself from your reply!
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  11. 19-07-2024 08:22 PM #1301
    Keith_M
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    Quote Originally Posted by AltheHibby View Post
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    Just in case either of our wives reads this, I w8sh to distance myself from your reply!
    :
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  12. 31-07-2024 08:12 PM #1302
    weedgiehibbie
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    In the capital of Ethiopia there is a famous nightclub sponsored by an equally famous sports brand that plays only music from Sweden's most popular band.

    It's Addis Ababa's Adidas Abba bar.

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  13. 31-07-2024 08:31 PM #1303
    Kato
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    Quote Originally Posted by weedgiehibbie View Post
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    In the capital of Ethiopia there is a famous nightclub sponsored by an equally famous sports brand that plays only music from Sweden's most popular band.

    It's Addis Ababa's Adidas Abba bar.

    Aha!

    Sent from my SM-A528B using Tapatalk
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  14. 02-08-2024 10:32 AM #1304
    Hibrandenburg
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    Gallons, litres, pints and cubic meters!

    I know this won't mean much to most folks but it speaks volumes to me.
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  15. 02-08-2024 05:07 PM #1305
    Hibbyradge
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    "Did David Hasslehoff really change his name to "Hoff"?"

    "Yes, it was less hassle that way."
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!


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  16. 02-08-2024 07:01 PM #1306
    Alfiembra
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    Just bought 50 litres of Tippex………Big Mistake!
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  17. 26-08-2024 03:24 PM #1307
    Bridge hibs
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    Three chinese brothers, Bu, Chu, and Fu, want to illegally live in America. The brothers decide to change their names to seem more American.
    Bu changes his name to Buck. Chu changes his name to Chuck, and Fu got sent back to China.
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  18. 26-08-2024 03:56 PM #1308
    NORTHERNHIBBY
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    B.N.A.G.. to me that's bang out of order.
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  19. 26-08-2024 08:24 PM #1309
    weedgiehibbie
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    Went n a date witha dentist this weekend.

    Went well.

    She wants to see me again in 6 months time
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  20. 27-08-2024 12:43 PM #1310
    blackpoolhibs
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    What's Everton and Jermaine jenas got in common?

    Neither will be on match of the day next season.
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  21. 27-08-2024 03:44 PM #1311
    Bridge hibs
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    My mate has a bad stutter, by the time he told us his Nana had passed we were all singing Hey Jude
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  22. 05-09-2024 12:08 PM #1312
    AltheHibby
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    A group of men kicked in my door today, demanding to know my favourite vegetable.
    I wasn't expecting the Spinach Inquisition!!!
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  23. 10-09-2024 05:22 AM #1313
    Northernhibee
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    Just seen a French footballer playing video games.

    It was Thierry on Wii.


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction
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  24. 28-09-2024 12:24 PM #1314
    Keith_M
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    I thought I'd got lucky at B&Q today.


    I asked one of the female employees where the painting and decorating sections were and she said "Aisle B, C 'n U"

    So I replied, "oh lovely, just say where and when and I'll be there"
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  25. 28-09-2024 01:09 PM #1315
    HUTCHYHIBBY
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    My grandfather was a soldier during WW2, seemingly he had the heart of a lion, banned from Edinburgh Zoo though.
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  26. 21-11-2024 02:45 PM #1316
    Bridge hibs
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    A lorry has shed its load of electrical goods on the M57 in Liverpool.

    Police have said the road will be closed for about five minutes!
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  27. 22-11-2024 03:46 PM #1317
    Keith_M
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
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    A lorry has shed its load of electrical goods on the M57 in Liverpool.

    Police have said the road will be closed for about five minutes!

    ScouseHibee will be ragin' at that.






    Though mostly because he wasn't there.
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  28. 22-11-2024 04:07 PM #1318
    Bridge hibs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    ScouseHibee will be ragin' at that.






    Though mostly because he wasn't there.
    Sorry Scouse 😃
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  29. 22-11-2024 04:57 PM #1319
    Scouse Hibee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    ScouseHibee will be ragin' at that.






    Though mostly because he wasn't there.
    😡FFS I’m in that neck of the woods just now, missed out again!
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  30. 22-11-2024 04:57 PM #1320
    Scouse Hibee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
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    Sorry Scouse 😃
    😂
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