Depression and anxiety

[Mibbes Aye]

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Discharged and given a free ride home, Indeed, thank you NHS. 25 years I worked for them and they never fail to amaze me.
Lots of help out there, access it they genuinely care ❤

[CraigHibee]

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I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...el-a-bit-****/

Good read mate

[CraigHibee]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better, never feel embarrassed to reach out mate, its far better to talk and discuss about how you are feeling rather than keeping it bottled up

[CMurdoch]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance ��

As everyone else has said, no need for embarrassment. Flagging up how bad you were feeling was a smart and brave move. Good on ya.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Passing the time on a freezing cold bus.

There’s not much in the way of mental health in this post so I wasn’t sure whether to post it or not but what the hell.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...freaky-friday/

[Viva_Palmeiras]

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Passing the time on a freezing cold bus.

There’s not much in the way of mental health in this post so I wasn’t sure whether to post it or not but what the hell.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...freaky-friday/

Liked that a return to basics.

[Pretty Boy]

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I’m at the end of my tether. I’ll be honest, I’ve absolutely had enough.

Deleted all my social media this morning. I’ve just had enough and I can’t see a way out.

I’m not going to do anything before anyone worries, I’ve got two kids who need their dad so the thought of doing myself in hasn’t entered my head but I’m just scunnered.

My heart is irreparably broken and I struggle to see how I can ever look to own my own place and give my daughter the bedroom she needs and deserves. My alternative is to rent a place which will cost me the best part of £800-£900 a month and leave me with very little to be able to afford anything beyond my bills and basics.

It’s been building up all week and this morning its just hit me like a train.

I’ve got my daughter asking me to sit and play puzzles with her and I don’t even have the energy to do that. It’s ****ed.

I know it isn't a solution to the fundemenatal problem but with regards to the living arrangements have you looked into mid market rent? It's significantly cheaper than private rentals in Edinburgh but easier to access than social housing. There are criteria for qualifying but essentially if you are working and not claiming housing benefit then you will have a decent shot.

[Smartie]

I’m not as comfortable talking about it as other folk are, but it appears that a good few of us are going through similar stuff right now.

Hang in there folks.

[McD]

Pedantic Hibee:

I know it’s on lockdown just now, but you’ve spoken about wanting to get your driving test passed. Once you’ve done that, could you look a bit further afield for somewhere new to stay, could well see the rent costs come down quite a bit, and having a car makes it easier to get your kids and bring them home

[kaimendhibs]

Pedantic Hibee

Just read your post and Im really sorry you are struggling so much. As said, if you pass your driving test you could commute into Edinburgh. I live in South Lanarkshire and it takes me 40/45 minutes to centre of Edinburgh.
My daughter has just moved into a rented flat here, 450 per month. Two bedrooms. Average rent between 400/500 per month.
The commuting not bad, Ive been doing it for 17 years now.
Good luck

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[Tambo]

I am close to the end, no full time jobs done here and agency treat you like ****, get rid of you whenever they feel like it.

Back to unemployment.

[McD]

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I am close to the end, no full time jobs done here and agency treat you like ****, get rid of you whenever they feel like it.

Back to unemployment.

where are you mate? May be someone on here knows the area and of full time jobs.

It’s a horrible tough time, people are always here to talk, vent to, lean on

[One Day Soon]

Thinking of everyone who is struggling right now. It can be either a great time of the year or a truly grim time. And this year much, much more so. Shortest day on the 6th or 8th Dec I think? I’m holding out for that and then clawing back to more daylight day by day.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Thinking of everyone who is struggling right now. It can be either a great time of the year or a truly grim time. And this year much, much more so. Shortest day on the 6th or 8th Dec I think? I’m holding out for that and then clawing back to more daylight day by day.

You'll need a couple of weeks more. It's the 21st

It's a fair point, though. In recent years, I have looked forward to the Solstice more than Christmas. For me, it's the real celebration.

[stu in nottingham]

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Thinking of everyone who is struggling right now. It can be either a great time of the year or a truly grim time. And this year much, much more so. Shortest day on the 6th or 8th Dec I think? I’m holding out for that and then clawing back to more daylight day by day.

The shortest day falls on 21st December.

Just a friendly suggestion, maybe try to think of those darker nights in a different way? I wonder if it would actually make it harder for you counting the days back in that way? Having a a little bit more acceptance of the darker nights, whilst sometimes difficult I know, might just be a bit more bearable/enjoyable than wishing the days and nights away.

The type of thing I'm meaning has lots of really good examples on the 'Autumn' thread where people talked about warm, cosy homes, warming winter dinners and the like. We have our football too.

At the end of this there is clear daylight imho. The more we yearn for that outcome that's on its way, the longer it may feel for it to come along. It's a little like standing watching and waiting on a kettle boiling.

[Tambo]

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where are you mate? May be someone on here knows the area and of full time jobs.

It’s a horrible tough time, people are always here to talk, vent to, lean on

I'm from corby town which is full of fake huns and Tim's, I was just feeling down but would never end my life for my mums sake and would miss hibs to much but thanks anyway.

What a crap 2020 for everyone.

[Jones28]

I was having a really ***** day today. Loads of hassle at work which put me in a real stinking mood for the rest of the day. I snapped at my wife and found the wee one very difficult to deal with.

After she was in bed I did some weights and it’s like a cloud has lifted in my head.

I’m not pretending that me having a bad day is anything compared to what others are going through, but to me it showed me how important exercise is to my mental state, and I hope it helps others make wee changes that help them.

[stoneyburn hibs]

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The shortest day falls on 21st December.

Just a friendly suggestion, maybe try to think of those darker nights in a different way? I wonder if it would actually make it harder for you counting the days back in that way? Having a a little bit more acceptance of the darker nights, whilst sometimes difficult I know, might just be a bit more bearable/enjoyable than wishing the days and nights away.

The type of thing I'm meaning has lots of really good examples on the 'Autumn' thread where people talked about warm, cosy homes, warming winter dinners and the like. We have our football too.

At the end of this there is clear daylight imho. The more we yearn for that outcome that's on its way, the longer it may feel for it to come along. It's a little like standing watching and waiting on a kettle boiling.

Great words Stuart, as always.
I dont suffer from depression but definitely anxiety, even though it took me a while to realise it.
I manage it, I think I have it from some sort of subservience in my head, weird I know .
Anyway, I'll probably speak for every other person.

Bring on the winter solstice!

[stu in nottingham]

There have been a few comments about how to talk to people in distress and be a good listener on the thread from time to time. I think people often have a genuine fear of saying the 'wrong' thing or simply not knowing what to say.

I liked some of the things listed in this article on the BBC site today. In particular, I like the fact that's it's very accessible advice for a layperson, you don't have to be a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist or any kind of professional to practice these things well.

How to be a good listener when someone opens up
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/ztfkbqt

Active listening techniques and reflecting people's words and thoughts are mentioned and very useful. There's also a bit about using technology for this purpose. Something that many of us are having to increasingly carry out these days.

[Mibbes Aye]

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There have been a few comments about how to talk to people in distress and be a good listener on the thread from time to time. I think people often have a genuine fear of saying the 'wrong' thing or simply not knowing what to say.

I liked some of the things listed in this article on the BBC site today. In particular, I like the fact that's it's very accessible advice for a layperson, you don't have to be a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist or any kind of professional to practice these things well.

How to be a good listener when someone opens up
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/ztfkbqt

Active listening techniques and reflecting people's words and thoughts are mentioned and very useful. There's also a bit about using technology for this purpose. Something that many of us are having to increasingly carry out these days.

Good link.

The critical things for me are not offering advice. Not offering advice. Listening and asking open questions, not closed questions. Not being judgemental. Not being afraid to ask open questions about difficult issues, like suicidal thoughts. Reflecting back what you hear.

Most of all, the biggest thing is someone feeling that someone is there and actually listening or reading. Whether that is a thread like this or Samaritans, that is crucial.

[B.H.F.C]

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I was having a really ***** day today. Loads of hassle at work which put me in a real stinking mood for the rest of the day. I snapped at my wife and found the wee one very difficult to deal with.

After she was in bed I did some weights and it’s like a cloud has lifted in my head.

I’m not pretending that me having a bad day is anything compared to what others are going through, but to me it showed me how important exercise is to my mental state, and I hope it helps others make wee changes that help them.

Exercise is what has kept me going this year.

My diet isn't great so I don’t look particularly different. But I feel a hell of a lot fitter than I did at the start of the year.

Think having a bit of competition (with myself) has helped keep the stresses of this year away from the front of my mind. Whether it’s running a certain distance faster or lifting something heavier, it’s definitely kept me on the straight and narrow.

[high bee]

Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

[Jones28]

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Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

You’ve taken the first steps with this post mate, only friends here. Lots of people would advise speaking to someone about doing some cognitive behavioural therapy.

The first step is talking, well done 👍🏻

[McD]

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Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

no need to apologise buddy, if there’s anywhere you can feel that a personal post will be safe, it’s this thread.

I hope that even the act of posting has helped a bit, and I would encourage you to talk, whether that’s to your wife, to a friend, family member, a service or even on here, it will help further.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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I am close to the end, no full time jobs done here and agency treat you like ****, get rid of you whenever they feel like it.

Back to unemployment.

The toll unregulated capitalism takes upon individuals is very difficult to quantify, but it's clearly a massive issue. Millions of people in the UK alone are unprotected and feel isolated and worthless in the neoliberal economy. Keeping a large proportion of the population in constant fear and worry about making ends meet isn't just cruel but also counter-productive, for it wastes so much talent to the benefit short-sighted goals. We need an economic system which allows, as far as is achievable, each person to fulfil their potential whilst making a meaningful contribution to the greater good. We need to end the relentless pursuit of the bottom line for benefit of the minority at the expense of the aspirations of the majority. This requires economic democracy, so that everyone is involved in the decision making processes of what they produce. Political democracy without economic democracy is empty; the two go together.

[SteveHFC]

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Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

Hi mate,

I've been through the same. I used to google everything that appeared in my mind constantly daily and it made me feel like a different person and make up different scenarios in my mind like I was this person or that person. One thing i do is write things down on my notes app on my iPhone whether I need to do something or check something then tick each thing off one by one. After I have ticked off that something I can move on and focus on the next thing I need to do/check.

[lord bunberry]

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Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

Of all the posts on this thread this most describes my feelings. I found that being stuck in a rut made those feelings so much worse. The constant going over the worst case scenario in my mind was horrible. Sometimes you just need a change to make yourself feel better, it was hard for me to make that change but I’ve never looked back. Just remember you’re not alone in this fight, there’s plenty crazy hibees to help you when it matters.

[Scorrie]

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Hard post for me this one, never opened up before. Not actually sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting tbh, I’ve always managed to cope before but I don’t feel I can anymore.

I seem to worry constantly about everything, things most people wouldn’t give a second thought. I keep imagining things going wrong at every opportunity and I’m making myself miserable. I’m existing in a life of someone who is down on their luck and is going through the mill when I actually have so much to be grateful for, especially considering how this year has been for so many plus it’s actually started to affect my physical health. Being aware of this makes me feel even more stupid and down on myself. It’s slowly gotten to the point where I keep having to check and double check things to make sure I’ve not made a mistake or forgotten to do something but even after doing that I still get preoccupied worrying that I’ve forgotten to do things.

I’ve been battling this for a long time but it’s just got so tiring now, I need to try and arrest the slide because I’m barely keeping my head above water. Days like today where a small thing, which I can’t change and isn’t really that big a deal, but I’ve been obsessing over it all day. It’s made me feel on edge, grumpy around my family and I feel like I’m in a daze while the day is passing me by. My kids are young and I want to enjoy watching them grow up rather than always having this cloud. I’ve been trying to keep busy so I don’t think about it but I’m constantly getting 10 steps ahead of myself imagining the worst.

I don’t feel I can seek any help because I worry about the repercussions. Sorry for the long post.

Firstly no apology needed. The beauty of this thread is the people on it. Severe or chronic anxiety is pretty awful, I know from personal experience. A couple of things do help. Writing things down that are causing the thoughts can help and then revisit to see if the worst did happen. Also write down the good things as well. Sometimes I find that helps “rationalise” things. Secondly, if you can take lots of exercise. That helps “switch” off and breaks the thought patterns and you feel better after. Thirdly, I found alcohol bad for this. Finally remember to be kind to yourself. Self compassion is hugely important, treat yourself as you would a close friend or family member who was going through it. We are all going through extraordinary times, the full impact of which we probably don’t fully know yet, so take it easy on yourself if you can.

[high bee]

Thanks everyone, will try all the things suggested. I have spent a long time meaning to do something about this but just allowed myself to keep suffering.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

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Thanks everyone, will try all the things suggested. I have spent a long time meaning to do something about this but just allowed myself to keep suffering.

Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule is a great tactic. It’s about being bold, courageous and basically just getting things done without worrying or talking yourself out of it.