Depression and anxiety

[Peevemor]

Piece in the EEN today.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.c...e-help-2966807

The bravest thing anyone can do in this toxic masculine world is say ‘Hey, I need some help’


In a very personal piece to mark World Suicide Prevention Day, Evening News reporter Jacob Farr shares his story of how he got the help he needed


I was stuck in a monotonous existence, working in a financial call centre drudging through phone calls from pensioners on their last legs, inputting figures on spreadsheet after spreadsheet.


It’s fair to say I had given up on life, I felt there was no purpose or meaning, and that I ultimately had nothing to offer the world.


The feeling was the same when it came to friends and family, one of being a burden and a struggle they could be relieved of if I would just take the final plunge.


I won’t go into the details of the various schemes concocted to end my life, but instead I’d like to speak about how those days are in the rear view mirror and what led to me getting here.


My childhood was at times traumatic but it was as a whole, relatively happy. It was not until I became a teenager that I began to fall into the darkness.


From 17-25 I struggled, having attempted to take my own life as a teen.


I got good enough grades to get into Kent University to study Classics, having been indoctrinated with a fascination of history and society by both parents.


I did OK academically but I never felt like I belonged. A boy from Cleri doing Classics just never added up. This led to an Imposter Syndrome that still sticks to my skin today.


After graduating I really struggled. Jumping between jobs I was constantly having The Black Dog take chunks out of my consciousness, with the feeling of not belonging hanging over me.


But it all turned around gradually in a process that took patience and understanding.


When my partner moved in with me in 2016, my healing really began.


Through having the support in-house, she encouraged me to contact the doctors, to attend appointments and even drove me to my CBT sessions – not to mention buying a dog to keep me company when I was signed off from work.


I cannot express how important seeking help was in my recovery, something as simple as attending an appointment could have drastically positive effects for my self esteem.


My friends and family were also always by my side listening and picking me up when I was emotionally or financially unstable.


Through that extremely lucky foundation I was able to become more open, and that allowed my honesty to flourish and blossom, which meant I could better process my feelings of self-loathing.


Antidepressants just never seemed to work for me, but instead physical exercise in the form of losing golf balls and cutting out alcohol consumption was revolutionary – as was opening up to other men about how I felt in spaces like Andy’s Man Club.


I began writing a lot, becoming infatuated with current affairs and developing my own website. The pet project led to me securing a dream job with the Evening News, a paper I grew up reading.


And tomorrow night I will be sitting on my settee in a virtual JPI Media awards ceremony not giving a hoot if I win Community Journalist of the Year, but instead celebrating the fact I always held on to tomorrow. And so should you.


To anyone out there in a similar position, please do not give up, no matter how dark it may seem at the time, open up to those around you and seek help.


Message from mental health charity SAMH

If you or someone you know cannot keep yourself safe, please seek help immediately.

You can go to any hospital Accident & Emergency department. Call 999 and ask for an ambulance if you can’t get to A&E, or tell someone and ask them to contact 999 for you.

If you need some support right now, but don’t want to go to A&E, you can call NHS 24 on 111. You can also call the Samaritans on 116 123, they’re open 24 hours and are there to listen. If you’d prefer to text someone, Shout is a volunteer-run, 24/7 crises text service, free on all major mobile networks, for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. Text SHOUT 85258.

While SAMH doesn’t have a crisis or listening service, our Information Team can help connect you with support and information. Our team are available Mon-Fri, 9am - 5pm (except on Bank Holidays) on 0344 800 0550.

[McD]

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Piece in the EEN today.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.c...e-help-2966807

Terrific article, thanks for sharing

[stu in nottingham]

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I remember that time Stu, where you were able to share some of what had happened, and articulate your struggles. I'm so glad that you've been able to find some happiness and/or contentment

Thanks very much mate, it's appreciated.

I think it's important for people to see and understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel, through all the pain and when things can feel desperate.

[McD]

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Thanks very much mate, it's appreciated.

I think it's important for people to see and understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel, through all the pain and when things can feel desperate.

Very welcome mate, its always stayed with me the sheer emotion behind your words and experiences, and the bravery to not just share what had happened, but to open up about how you were feeling, and the depth of that. I suspect that you've empowered others on here to do the same


I agree about that importance, that's really why I shared my life events earlier in the thread also, to maybe give a bit of hope to anyone who is feeling incredibly low and desperate as you said. Life can start to improve and you can find some kind of peace and happiness

[Henderson2Del]

Thank you to all who have shared. It lets me know that I am not alone in struggling and that there are ways to get to a better place. Many days it’s hard to see how it can be done and often there is no rhyme or reason to why I am having a bad day.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

My second full day on holiday in Antalya and I have to say it’s done wonders for my state of mind. Generally just sat by myself listening to music in 37 degree heat. You could argue that I’m bored but when I think about, I’m just sat there without thinking any negative thoughts. There’s no real positive thoughts either in fairness but I’m largely on a lounger just staring ahead and, dare I say at peace.

Time and money permitting, I’d recommend it to those who just need to get away and spend a bit of time on their own.

Fingers crossed I fly back to Edinburgh with a renewed sense of vigour.

[Hibernia&Alba]

There are some incredibly courageous posts on this thread; enormous respect to all. I hope sharing your problems has proved cathartic in some small way. I don't think we realise how common such problems are; we are still supposed to present a stiff upper lip and not discuss such heavy issues, which isn't helpful, as it further stigmatises the vulnerability we all experience at some point. A crisis can hit anyone at any time and it's essential to have an outlet to a sympathetic ear. I hope of all you currently experiencing deep anguish will find a solution. In the meantime keep posting on here, without fear of being judged, if you think it might help in some small way.

Hermit crab, it's good to hear from you again. Pedantic Hibee, thanks for sharing your story. I found it very powerful.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I live with my dad so, there's almost always someone else in the house, he's been away on a fishing trip for the best part of a week, it turns out that being alone in the house with only your own thoughts for company isn't much fun. Living by yourself must be a massive trigger for depressing folk.

At least he'll be back tomorrow.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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I live with my dad so, there's almost always someone else in the house, he's been away on a fishing trip for the best part of a week, it turns out that being alone in the house with only your own thoughts for company isn't much fun. Living by yourself must be a massive trigger for depressing folk.

At least he'll be back tomorrow.

Loneliness is a huge issue which is rarely considered. It's a problem which affects the elderly (widows and widowers) on a large scale, but isn't confined to them. Ironically, it's the big cities, where people are most numerous, that can be loneliest, because often the sense of community that exists in smaller places isn't present. It's easy to get lost amongst a huge crowd. This sense of isolation has been exacerbated for many recently, due to lockdown.

You and your da can get your bets oan the morra

[Pretty Boy]

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Loneliness is a huge issue which is rarely considered. It's a problem which affects the elderly (widows and widowers) on a large scale, but isn't confined to them. Ironically, it's the big cities, where people are most numerous, that can be loneliest, because often the sense of community that exists in smaller places isn't present. It's easy to get lost amongst a huge crowd. This sense of isolation has been exacerbated for many recently, due to lockdown.

You and your da can get your bets oan the morra

The thing with loneliness is there is some studies that suggest it is more prevalent among the young than the elderly.

I think social media excaberates that in a lot of ways. So many people give the impression of having the perfect life that it creates a false sense of reality that is impossible to measure up to. In an age of remote everything, amplified by an ongoing lockdown, it's so easy to become disconnected and excluded from society.

I worry about the looming mental health crisis that is on the horizon. I think we sometimes downplay how much of a lifeline pubs and clubs, community centres, churches, libraries and so on are for people who are otherwise alone.

[stoneyburn hibs]

I've been humbled reading this thread the last few days.
Truely hope every brave soul that has shared their horrible experiences with us can somehow keep finding some sort of light in their mental struggles.

It takes a lot to share what you have.

Peace and love to fellow Hibbies.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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The thing with loneliness is there is some studies that suggest it is more prevalent among the young than the elderly.

I think social media excaberates that in a lot of ways. So many people give the impression of having the perfect life that it creates a false sense of reality that is impossible to measure up to. In an age of remote everything, amplified by an ongoing lockdown, it's so easy to become disconnected and excluded from society.

I worry about the looming mental health crisis that is on the horizon. I think we sometimes downplay how much of a lifeline pubs and clubs, community centres, churches, libraries and so on are for people who are otherwise alone.

Interesting point which may well have merit, as online 'friendships' (and he we are on .net) are no substitute for real human relationships based upon mutual understanding. However, and conversely, they can offer an outlet for some who lack such relationships, thus helping them in a way which didn't exist in the pre-internet era. I suppose it's a double edged sword, sometimes negative and sometimes positive, depending on the person.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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The thing with loneliness is there is some studies that suggest it is more prevalent among the young than the elderly.

I think social media excaberates that in a lot of ways. So many people give the impression of having the perfect life that it creates a false sense of reality that is impossible to measure up to. In an age of remote everything, amplified by an ongoing lockdown, it's so easy to become disconnected and excluded from society.

I worry about the looming mental health crisis that is on the horizon. I think we sometimes downplay how much of a lifeline pubs and clubs, community centres, churches, libraries and so on are for people who are otherwise alone.

PB - you're final paragraph rings true for me, I don't have a lot of experience of living on my own, one thing I will say though is, it's not much fun.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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Loneliness is a huge issue which is rarely considered. It's a problem which affects the elderly (widows and widowers) on a large scale, but isn't confined to them. Ironically, it's the big cities, where people are most numerous, that can be loneliest, because often the sense of community that exists in smaller places isn't present. It's easy to get lost amongst a huge crowd. This sense of isolation has been exacerbated for many recently, due to lockdown.

You and your da can get your bets oan the morra

I hope he has a few tips when he returns.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I'm going to have a Northern Soul YouTube frenzy after this Watford game is finished, should cheer me up a bit. 😎

[stu in nottingham]

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I'm going to have a Northern Soul YouTube frenzy after this Watford game is finished, should cheer me up a bit. 😎

What better way to give yourself a lift, Hutchy?

Keep The Faith

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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What better way to give yourself a lift, Hutchy?

Keep The Faith

I'm now onto 80s foreign tunes! Opus, Kaoma etc! 😀

Scorpions not cheering me up much. Might be time for Joe le taxi.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Brother Louie then bed time!

[Vault Boy]

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My second full day on holiday in Antalya and I have to say it’s done wonders for my state of mind. Generally just sat by myself listening to music in 37 degree heat. You could argue that I’m bored but when I think about, I’m just sat there without thinking any negative thoughts. There’s no real positive thoughts either in fairness but I’m largely on a lounger just staring ahead and, dare I say at peace.

Time and money permitting, I’d recommend it to those who just need to get away and spend a bit of time on their own.

Fingers crossed I fly back to Edinburgh with a renewed sense of vigour.

Ayy that's so good to hear PH! Sounds like bliss, particularly during this time that the UK starts getting chilly again. Really positive stuff that travelling/holidays are something you now know you're able to enjoy independently too, IIRC you said you hadn't really done it before, significant marker that.

Take care and have fun! Very jealous. 😁

[wpj]

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PB - you're final paragraph rings true for me, I don't have a lot of experience of living on my own, one thing I will say though is, it's not much fun.

That's interesting, I function better on my own. That's not to say I sometimes get lonely but mostly I prefer my own company.
I have posted on here my health issues both mental and physically. The last few months has been really tough but family and friends have (literally as I live in Cambridge) gone out of their way to help. I have also had loads of support from NHS, social services, GP, and many more so while I do live alone I haven't been lonely.
Long story short there will be major changes over the next year or so, mostly positive but there will be challenges that go with that which I will deal with as and when, I have to!
Biggest thing I am dealing with is not having seen my wee girl (5) for months now and that's really tough. Even the facetime sessions appear to have stopped. I will try again, everyday, you all take care
W

[SideBurns]

There's a wee series on BBC4 the now called: 'Mindful Escapes: Breathe, Release, Restore'

I've just watched episode 2, and found it a relaxing way to spend 30 minutes. It uses images from the natural world, with commentary from a mindfulness practitioner. Thought it wouldn't do any harm to bring it to the attention of those using this thread.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

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Ayy that's so good to hear PH! Sounds like bliss, particularly during this time that the UK starts getting chilly again. Really positive stuff that travelling/holidays are something you now know you're able to enjoy independently too, IIRC you said you hadn't really done it before, significant marker that.

Take care and have fun! Very jealous. 😁

Had a good couple of days where I was just pretty much in the moment. Wasn’t looking ahead or behind, nothing negative or positive; just chilling by the pool listening to music.

Until last night where my mate messaged a screenshot of my ex who is now back on tinder. So much for needing to be on her own and be single for a long while! I won’t lie, my heart stopped when I saw it. Disbelief, pain and then anger. It went through me like an absolute knife to the point I had friends and family phoning me constantly to make sure I’m ok given in thousands of miles from home on my own.

Women can be ****ing despicable sometimes. It’s actually disgusting behaviour.

[stu in nottingham]

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Had a good couple of days where I was just pretty much in the moment. Wasn’t looking ahead or behind, nothing negative or positive; just chilling by the pool listening to music.

That sounds like EXACTLY what you need right now PH. It's very mindfulness-like. Maybe you can pursue something that provides a similar feeling to a degree now you're back home, using those methods?

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Until last night where my mate messaged a screenshot of my ex who is now back on tinder. So much for needing to be on her own and be single for a long while! I won’t lie, my heart stopped when I saw it. Disbelief, pain and then anger. It went through me like an absolute knife to the point I had friends and family phoning me constantly to make sure I’m ok given in thousands of miles from home on my own.

Women can be ****ing despicable sometimes. It’s actually disgusting behaviour.

That is a horrible thing for you have to tolerate at this time, I'm really sorry. I'm certain your friend meant well but maybe sending you a screen grab of that is not very helpful at this time. It would be unnatural that you didn't want to see it, out of curiosity. I think the great temptation is to look at these things over and over and it can be really punishing. A little like staying connected on social media. I wonder if you would feel able to delete this and ask that no more information about that is forwarded to you?

[Pedantic_Hibee]

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That sounds like EXACTLY what you need right now PH. It's very mindfulness-like. Maybe you can pursue something that provides a similar feeling to a degree now you're back home, using those methods?



That is a horrible thing for you have to tolerate at this time, I'm really sorry. I'm certain your friend meant well but maybe sending you a screen grab of that is not very helpful at this time. It would be unnatural that you didn't want to see it, out of curiosity. I think the great temptation is to look at these things over and over and it can be really punishing. A little like staying connected on social media. I wonder if you would feel able to delete this and ask that no more information about that is forwarded to you?

Anger took over. I’m well shot off her. My mates are well meaning, one of them has already tried to set me up with someone to dull the pain 🙈

It hit me extremely hard last night and this morning but I’ve let it pass. It is what it is, I now know I can do so much better than her. Absolute fraud.

[stu in nottingham]

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Anger took over. I’m well shot off her. My mates are well meaning, one of them has already tried to set me up with someone to dull the pain 🙈

It hit me extremely hard last night and this morning but I’ve let it pass. It is what it is, I now know I can do so much better than her. Absolute fraud.

Good for you mate. Yes, I know people mean well. Listen to yourself on this, you've more than shown here that you can and will deal with this situation.

[Hermit Crab]

If someone is suicidal can they check themselves into hospital for treatment or would they get turned away?

[bigwheel]

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If someone is suicidal can they check themselves into hospital for treatment or would they get turned away?

Don’t know HC. Samaritans would - tel number: 116123.


Hope you are OK big man ....

[Pretty Boy]

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If someone is suicidal can they check themselves into hospital for treatment or would they get turned away?

If they presented at A&E they would be assessed and seen. Some A&Es have an emergency psychiatric team on site, otherwise they should be able to call in a crisis team.

111, The Samaritans, Calm etc are other options.

[stu in nottingham]

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If someone is suicidal can they check themselves into hospital for treatment or would they get turned away?

You will never be turned away If you express suicidal feelings. Here we have mental health crisis teams which are comprised of mh nurses, a psychiatrist , social workers and so on.

This sounds similar.
https://services.nhslothian.scot/MentalHealthAssessmentService/Pages/default.aspx

Please don’t hesitate if you feel you need help HC. Here to talk also if you need it mate.

[Chuck Rhoades]

Firstly, thanks to the admin team for their support with posting this.

I have been both saddened and humbled to read the increasing number of stories in this thread. It’s important we keep talking as there is still too much stigma surrounding this topic.

I am embarking on 45km walk across 4 days during September starting on the 18th as part of Lloyds Banking Group’s “Walk The Talk” fundraising initiative to help raise money for our charity partner, Mental Health UK. The walk will include climbing 3 Munros on Saturday in the Cairngorms.

My team expect to raise thousands of pounds for the charity and I have set a personal goal of £750 which has already been surpassed.

Mental Health UK is here for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They are made up of four organisations based in each of the four nations of the UK, working together to improve mental health. Charity Registration No. 1170815

It’s tough at the moment and we are all living in strange times. Please do not feel obliged to donate, but if you are supportive and financially able to your contribution will be greatly appreciated. LBG will double whatever I raise through matched giving.

I have personally seen first hand how this charity has supported members of my team with their own mental health and wellness challenges.

Cheers and look forward to keeping you updated on how I tackle the 45km!

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/rossvincent90

Ross