Depression and anxiety

[Chorley Hibee]

I just can't climb out of the depths of depression I'm currently experiencing - no matter how hard I try to combat the onset of recurring episodes.

This time of year, combined with fighting a 20 year ongoing eating disorder, and the perpetual bouts of depression associated, is taking its toll upon me both mentally and physically.

I've exhausted what seems like every avenue available to me in terms of help, but without any discernable success, or improvement in my condition.

I'm 39 in a few weeks time, and these illnesses have cost me family, friends, relationships, jobs and a career. Repeated attempts to manage my condition have been largely fruitless, and the overriding emotion (amongst a great many) is one of absolute exhaustion.

It was only in the last few years that I divulged my struggles publicly, and whilst supported by a great many, the stigma that is still attached to these pernicious illnesses remains an almost daily experience.

A case in point, was me commenting last week that I wasn't feeling great (due to the illnesses mentioned), only to be met with the following comment from a family member: "So how did you manage to go to the game on Wednesday then?"

It may seem a harmless comment to many, but it's really had a profound effect upon me, and left me feeling even more depressed and vulnerable than I already was.

I just don't know where to go from here in terms of help or recovery.