Depression and anxiety

[lord bunberry]

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(Disclaimer - I don't know what I'm talking about, so take this advice with caution).

His concerns are in many ways reasonable. Someone should be able to answer his questions with some knowledge, I cannot.

The problem is that there MIGHT be news that he doesn't like. How able is he to accept that right now? Having been in a bad place, having done what he has done, the last thing he might need is for it to seem like his problems are escalating by his policies being affected (they may or may not be).

I would be speaking to whichever health professionals you are in contact with about the fact that he has these concerns. He is effectively escalating problems (reasonably or otherwise) in his own head, which isn't a good thing, and I think you need to take serious professional advice on what you can and can't/ should and shouldn't say to him.

I know it sounds simple and dismissive, but his full focus needs to be on getting better - he has been/ still may well be, seriously mentally ill. People can recover from mental illnesses, so even if for example he is not allowed to drive for now, if he gets better he should be allowed to drive in future. I would be very surprised if a suicide attempt meant a permanent ban from driving.

What he is describing sounds to me like a "fear of catastrophe" - that his actions might bring about a disproportionately large reaction - I think the escalation of a suicide attempt to possibly being denied insurance as he is a risk of burning the house down is an over-escalation. I think that thinking he may be permanently be banned from driving is probably an over-escalation.

I have no basis in fact for this, but I suspect certain insurance premiums may go up. No big deal. Collectively you may have to choose a luxury somewhere that you have to do without in order to pay these premiums - as I say, in the grand scheme of things, unimportant. What IS important is that you still have your Dad, and what is most important is his recovery.

Again I have no basis for this - he may not be allowed to drive for a while. No big deal. He may have to make slightly different travel arrangements until he recovers, then he'll be fine again.


I must stress though - I think this escalation of matters in his head is a symptom, is a warning sign and I would urge you to speak to a health professional asap to get proper advice from someone who knows what they are talking about (I do not).

I’m not sure you’re right on this one mate. I’m pretty sure there’s no questions around mental health when insuring a car. I think it would be up to a medical professional to decide whether you unfit to drive. Unless your doctor has specifically told you not to drive, then any insurance company won’t ask you otherwise.

[Smartie]

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I’m not sure you’re right on this one mate. I’m pretty sure there’s no questions around mental health when insuring a car. I think it would be up to a medical professional to decide whether you unfit to drive. Unless your doctor has specifically told you not to drive, then any insurance company won’t ask you otherwise.

I honestly don't know the finer details of it.

But - I would have thought that it is technically possible for a health professional to decide someone is unfit to drive - I get the feeling that this is one of the situations that SDG's Dad is concerned about. This is something that MIGHT (might not) happen. Is he in a fit place to deal with that news, if it is the case?

I would have thought that a suicide attempt alone would not be enough to justify a ban from driving on medical grounds - but I would have thought that you would have to have a green light from a professional to drive a car again afterwards (I have no idea how this would be worked out, but this is not a unique situation and I'm sure that these are questions health professionals in these circumstances will face regularly).

I don't know where normal concerns re finances end, and obsessive behaviour starts so I was just a bit concerned when SDG mentioned that his Dad now seems to be "fixated" on this issue. Given the history, and the fact that SDG's Dad is still in recovery, it just struck me as a bit of a warning.

I do think that this is one to deal with with the health professionals first, whilst some anecdotal stuff on hibs.net is all well and good.

They should be able to give him appropriate advice on the technical issues regarding how insurance, getting back behind the wheel etc works, but more importantly give him advice on how best to communicate any of this with his Dad.

[wpj]

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I’m not sure you’re right on this one mate. I’m pretty sure there’s no questions around mental health when insuring a car. I think it would be up to a medical professional to decide whether you unfit to drive. Unless your doctor has specifically told you not to drive, then any insurance company won’t ask you otherwise.

Coming at it from a different view I have been cleared to drive by Swansea but have chosen not to as I have a condition where I can black out or take a dizzy turn. While I may put myself in danger but I am more concerned with hurting others. I was surprised to get the all clear to be honest but they must have their criteria. I'm not sure depression or anxiety would make someone a threat on the roads to be honest but would recommend a professional opinion. Sounds like your dad still needs support and that means you do too to cope with a massive situation, hope I'm not sounding like an arse as I genuinely hope you can all get it. Can't recomend this thread highly enough.take care......

[lord bunberry]

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I honestly don't know the finer details of it.

But - I would have thought that it is technically possible for a health professional to decide someone is unfit to drive - I get the feeling that this is one of the situations that SDG's Dad is concerned about. This is something that MIGHT (might not) happen. Is he in a fit place to deal with that news, if it is the case?

I would have thought that a suicide attempt alone would not be enough to justify a ban from driving on medical grounds - but I would have thought that you would have to have a green light from a professional to drive a car again afterwards (I have no idea how this would be worked out, but this is not a unique situation and I'm sure that these are questions health professionals in these circumstances will face regularly).

I don't know where normal concerns re finances end, and obsessive behaviour starts so I was just a bit concerned when SDG mentioned that his Dad now seems to be "fixated" on this issue. Given the history, and the fact that SDG's Dad is still in recovery, it just struck me as a bit of a warning.

I do think that this is one to deal with with the health professionals first, whilst some anecdotal stuff on hibs.net is all well and good.

They should be able to give him appropriate advice on the technical issues regarding how insurance, getting back behind the wheel etc works, but more importantly give him advice on how best to communicate any of this with his Dad.

I suppose the responsible thing to do would be to seek advice from your doctor about things like driving, but I’m fairly sure that as far as insurance is concerned there’s no premium to pay. Having suffered from depression for many years, I don’t remember any questions regarding the issue. Like you though I’m not 100% sure.

[lord bunberry]

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Coming at it from a different view I have been cleared to drive by Swansea but have chosen not to as I have a condition where I can black out or take a dizzy turn. While I may put myself in danger but I am more concerned with hurting others. I was surprised to get the all clear to be honest but they must have their criteria. I'm not sure depression or anxiety would make someone a threat on the roads to be honest but would recommend a professional opinion. Sounds like your dad still needs support and that means you do too to cope with a massive situation, hope I'm not sounding like an arse as I genuinely hope you can all get it. Can't recomend this thread highly enough.take care......

I’m guessing you’ve quoted the wrong post there mate

[wpj]

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I’m guessing you’ve quoted the wrong post there mate

Quite possibly, just giving my current experience but in a ro1undabout way have also contributed to the question 😎

But yes I meant to quote SDG 😊

[Smartie]

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I suppose the responsible thing to do would be to seek advice from your doctor about things like driving, but I’m fairly sure that as far as insurance is concerned there’s no premium to pay. Having suffered from depression for many years, I don’t remember any questions regarding the issue. Like you though I’m not 100% sure.

There is a wide spectrum of different types of mental illnesses and of different severities out there.

I wouldn't have thought that many forms of depression would affect someone's ability to, or liberty to drive.

But we don't know what SDG's Dad's diagnosis might be - certain forms of manic depression, schizophrenia, severe OCD etc might affect someone's safety to drive. I wouldn't have thought a suicide attempt alone would be a problem, but we don't know what else is involved here.

I have had countless types of insurance policy over the years and I cannot remember what questions were asked for what. I do know though that I have been asked about mental health in the past, so it is not beyond the realms of possibility (in my opinion) that a mental health issue could lead to someone being denied the liberty to drive a car.

I think that SDG needs proper professional help regarding first of all the facts - are his Dad's fears accurate or reasonable, and what is actually the case, but also how to speak to him if they are not.

[lord bunberry]

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There is a wide spectrum of different types of mental illnesses and of different severities out there.

I wouldn't have thought that many forms of depression would affect someone's ability to, or liberty to drive.

But we don't know what SDG's Dad's diagnosis might be - certain forms of manic depression, schizophrenia, severe OCD etc might affect someone's safety to drive. I wouldn't have thought a suicide attempt alone would be a problem, but we don't know what else is involved here.

I have had countless types of insurance policy over the years and I cannot remember what questions were asked for what. I do know though that I have been asked about mental health in the past, so it is not beyond the realms of possibility (in my opinion) that a mental health issue could lead to someone being denied the liberty to drive a car.

I think that SDG needs proper professional help regarding first of all the facts - are his Dad's fears accurate or reasonable, and what is actually the case, but also how to speak to him if they are not.

I agree with almost all of that. The point sdg was making though was that his dad thought his insurance would go up. I don’t think it will. You’re either fit to drive or your not.

[Sir David Gray]

Thanks to everyone who has replied so far.

To clarify a couple of things, my dad has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. He doesn't have depression, schizophrenia or anything like that.

He's been told by a consultant and a member of the home visit team that he is fine to drive but he's constantly looking online. He's now moving on from the fact that he's not unfit to drive to now saying that his suicide attempt has basically invalidated his current car insurance and so is actually not covered if he's in an accident.

It's almost as if he's wanting someone to tell him that he can't drive. He keeps saying that the onus is on him to decide if he's able to drive which is a huge responsibility for him.

[lord bunberry]

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Thanks to everyone who has replied so far.

To clarify a couple of things, my dad has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. He doesn't have depression, schizophrenia or anything like that.

He's been told by a consultant and a member of the home visit team that he is fine to drive but he's constantly looking online. He's now moving on from the fact that he's not unfit to drive to now saying that his suicide attempt has basically invalidated his current car insurance and so is actually not covered if he's in an accident.

It's almost as if he's wanting someone to tell him that he can't drive. He keeps saying that the onus is on him to decide if he's able to drive which is a huge responsibility for him.

From my own experience I would say that he’s looking for someone to take the lead and tell him not to drive. It’s really hard for a son to take the bull by the horns and tell your dad what to do. It’s almost like a passing off the baton of life. It took me ages to assume the role, and at times it’s still not something I’m comfortable with, but it’s probably something you need to do mate.

[Sir David Gray]

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From my own experience I would say that he’s looking for someone to take the lead and tell him not to drive. It’s really hard for a son to take the bull by the horns and tell your dad what to do. It’s almost like a passing off the baton of life. It took me ages to assume the role, and at times it’s still not something I’m comfortable with, but it’s probably something you need to do mate.

That's exactly what I think he's looking for someone to do. No-one has done that so far, either from within the family or from the medical team looking after him.

His head is all over the place at the moment, it's really very sad. I have said to him numerous times that there's no reason for him not to drive but he just won't accept that. He's on the laptop for hours every day actively looking for things to worry about.

[lord bunberry]

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That's exactly what I think he's looking for someone to do. No-one has done that so far, either from within the family or from the medical team looking after him.

His head is all over the place at the moment, it's really very sad. I have said to him numerous times that there's no reason for him not to drive but he just won't accept that. He's on the laptop for hours every day actively looking for things to worry about.

It’s a gradual process mate. You might want to start by saying that you’re going to find out one way or another. Take the decision out of his hands if that’s what you think he wants. After that it’s up to you to make what you think is the best decision for him. I’m currently going through a similar situation with my dad, the circumstances I find myself in have come around from different circumstances, but the end result probably requires the same solution. It’s not going to be easy, but try and be strong as ultimately it’s what your dad would want. Anyone who has kids will tell you that they would rather have their children step up and lead the family than it to be left to the authorities.

[Sir David Gray]

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It’s a gradual process mate. You might want to start by saying that you’re going to find out one way or another. Take the decision out of his hands if that’s what you think he wants. After that it’s up to you to make what you think is the best decision for him. I’m currently going through a similar situation with my dad, the circumstances I find myself in have come around from different circumstances, but the end result probably requires the same solution. It’s not going to be easy, but try and be strong as ultimately it’s what your dad would want. Anyone who has kids will tell you that they would rather have their children step up and lead the family than it to be left to the authorities.

Thanks mate, really appreciate your input on this one and to everyone else who has offered help and guidance to me.

It really is a huge source of comfort during what has been the most difficult time of my life.

[Greenworld]

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Thanks mate, really appreciate your input on this one and to everyone else who has offered help and guidance to me.

It really is a huge source of comfort during what has been the most difficult time of my life.

Just been reading through your post's I am a anxiety sufferer and have been for years. Although I have recently improved the situation through medication.
I visit my doctor every few months to basically get a wee check up on my mind which I now look forward to. I have not been told I cannot drive either before or after I was prescribed medication hopefully you can maybe use this info for your dad.
I didn't see anything about medication for your dad?
It's a hellish thing anxiety it's so hard to explain people think your at it .
I have told only a close few and hide it from the rest.
One bit of advice which has helped me is trying to remove yourself from the triggers that set it off.
Now this can be quite difficult for one of things for me was the job I was doing.
Other things for me were larger groups of people I really started to panic fine in the company of 3 or 4 but make that a bigger number and my levels jump through the roof.
Looks like getting your dad of the computer at times might help him.


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[Pretty Boy]

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Thanks to everyone who has replied so far.

To clarify a couple of things, my dad has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. He doesn't have depression, schizophrenia or anything like that.

He's been told by a consultant and a member of the home visit team that he is fine to drive but he's constantly looking online. He's now moving on from the fact that he's not unfit to drive to now saying that his suicide attempt has basically invalidated his current car insurance and so is actually not covered if he's in an accident.

It's almost as if he's wanting someone to tell him that he can't drive. He keeps saying that the onus is on him to decide if he's able to drive which is a huge responsibility for him.

It reads to me like your Dad is displaying clear symptoms of his anxiety.

When ny anxiety was at it's worst I was constantly looking for reassurance and trying to get it by asking constant questions about things, I thought I was being quite casual about it but everyone noticed. Anxiety often comes with a fixation, mines was health, and it can become very obsessive. Doesn't help answer your question but his behaviour doesn't read as abnormal based on his diagnosis.

At my worst I used to check ny tonsils in the mirror at least 20 times a day. I was obsessed with lymph nodes and constantly poking and prodding about my neck. If I was in a busy room I became terrified if I didn't know where the toilets were and walking in the street was a constant battle in my own head as I was convinced I was going to faint or have a cardiac arrest and just keel over.

There are ways to manage anxiety and get better and your Dad will get there.

[wpj]

Currently having massive anxiety attacks at silly o clock every day, dreams are so mad and random it's a *****e way to spend the day afterwords

[MSK]

Anxiety is absolutley brutal and affects people in so many different ways. Mines didnt seem to bother me to a point I was worried anything physical was wrong, my biggest problem was having an anxiety attack because I was anxious about having an an anxiety attack. As crazy as it sounds those are what pretty much rendered me incapable of any sort of cognitive thinking.

One example is when the morning arrived for my Wife and I to go to Italy, taxi was at the door ready to take us to Edin airport, I said I couldnt do it, then came the anxiety attack. I then just kept saying to myself, get in the taxi, its only Edin airport, your still near to home. What if I am anxious on the plane, aw its only a couple of hours. What happens if Im anxious in Italy, aw again its only a couple of hours away from home etc.

Constant reassurance got me through that holiday, and many more.

The way I compared anxiety with my depression.

With anxiety I worried about everything, but with depression I worried about nothing.

[MSK]

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Currently having massive anxiety attacks at silly o clock every day, dreams are so mad and random it's a *****e way to spend the day afterwords

Thinking o ye mate, chin up & keep fighting it 👍

[patch1875]

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Currently having massive anxiety attacks at silly o clock every day, dreams are so mad and random it's a *****e way to spend the day afterwords

I just can’t completely shake the anxiety my neck shoulders and upper back are so painful as I can’t stop the tension in them I even have a sore tongue as that’s tense too!

I’m heads in a fairly good place but just can’t rid myself of it maybe I never will might give amatriptaline a go again as it helped a bit I also take St. John’s wort which seems to help the anxiety.

Hope you get your sleeping back on track poor sleep certainly doesn’t help.

[Sir David Gray]

Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.

[MSK]

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Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.

Thats a real blow mate, really sorry to read this news, hopefully now the mental health team give your Dad all the support he needs, it could actually be good now he has the support of professional help. Just you keep up your support mate, these places can be quite daunting & it might take a few steps backwards before things move forwards. Fingers crossed mate 👍

[Pretty Boy]

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Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.

Sorry to hear that.

Keep doing what you can to support your Dad and make sure you get as much info from the hospital as you can.

[stu in nottingham]

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Thanks again to everyone who has posted in response to me.

The update today isn't good unfortunately. My dad is currently back in hospital having just admitted to taking an overdose of his anxiety tablets earlier this morning. He appears to be ok physically at the moment but his intentions are obvious.

He's currently being cared for by A&E staff and will presumably be readmitted to a mental health ward afterwards.

Thanks again to everyone for your support, it's greatly appreciated.

I am so sorry to hear your news. A bit of practical info for you.

Difficult for us all to accept but the hard fact is that a repetition attempt is not uncommon. Approximately 15% of people make a further attempt in the first twelve months afterwards, the risk being highest in the first three months. Around 1% are unfortunately successful during that period.

Speaking medically, a very few patients who have attempted suicide will be deemed to need in-patient psychiatric care. These people include those with severe a psychiatric disorder and those diagnosed as being at risk of suicide. If either of these are indicated, and the patient should refuse, admission can be carried out under a Medical Health Act.

Speaking personally now to you and not as a practitioner, if the doctors feel your dad is at risk and want to keep him in hospital for care but dad wants to come home I would listen to the doctors and help encourage him to stay for treatment. My partner, before she died pleaded and pleaded with me not to 'let them' take her into hospital. I wanted to look after her and was the only person who seemed to understand her distress at this and nor was there a suggest of her being admitted but looking back I think it would have given her a better chance of surviving, though we can't know these things.

I am thinking that an out-patient Mental Health Crisis team will be assigned to your dad? If so, make sure you do your own monitoring of what they are doing to support him. I am sure you won't have the same experience but my late partner was sadly let down by hers - even to the point of them discharging her over the phone the night before she took her own life. A not incidental event influencing her fatal actions of the following day in my view. Stay on it, ask to speak to the psychiatrist and his team if you can. Don't let up.

I hope for some peace and healing in your family.

[MagicSwirlingShip]

For anyone suffering with Anxiety.

I would highly recommend looking into the benefits of CBD oil & the endocannibinoid system as a whole.

[Tornadoes70]

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For anyone suffering with Anxiety.

I would highly recommend looking into the benefits of CBD oil & the endocannibinoid system as a whole.

Had a look at the subject of CBD oil and it looks as if it could be very good for a number of conditions including anxiety as you rightly say. The CBD oil being a hemp extract in absence of the THC which gives the mind bending high. Still in the experimental stage and appears to have strong beneficial potential according to what I read anyway.

[Tornadoes70]

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I am so sorry to hear your news. A bit of practical info for you.

Difficult for us all to accept but the hard fact is that a repetition attempt is not uncommon. Approximately 15% of people make a further attempt in the first twelve months afterwards, the risk being highest in the first three months. Around 1% are unfortunately successful during that period.

Speaking medically, a very few patients who have attempted suicide will be deemed to need in-patient psychiatric care. These people include those with severe a psychiatric disorder and those diagnosed as being at risk of suicide. If either of these are indicated, and the patient should refuse, admission can be carried out under a Medical Health Act.

Speaking personally now to you and not as a practitioner, if the doctors feel your dad is at risk and want to keep him in hospital for care but dad wants to come home I would listen to the doctors and help encourage him to stay for treatment. My partner, before she died pleaded and pleaded with me not to 'let them' take her into hospital. I wanted to look after her and was the only person who seemed to understand her distress at this and nor was there a suggest of her being admitted but looking back I think it would have given her a better chance of surviving, though we can't know these things.

I am thinking that an out-patient Mental Health Crisis team will be assigned to your dad? If so, make sure you do your own monitoring of what they are doing to support him. I am sure you won't have the same experience but my late partner was sadly let down by hers - even to the point of them discharging her over the phone the night before she took her own life. A not incidental event influencing her fatal actions of the following day in my view. Stay on it, ask to speak to the psychiatrist and his team if you can. Don't let up.

I hope for some peace and healing in your family.

A very helpful and thoughtful post this.

[MagicSwirlingShip]

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Had a look at the subject of CBD oil and it looks as if it could be very good for a number of conditions including anxiety as you rightly say. The CBD oil being a hemp extract in absence of the THC which gives the mind bending high. Still in the experimental stage and appears to have strong beneficial potential according to what I read anyway.

Total game changer for me. Had been getting crippling anxiety every morning first thing and randomly throughout the day, alongside trouble sleeping.

Can’t recommend it enough.

Supplement with a healthy diet, some light exercise and as much natural sunlight as possible.

[Tornadoes70]

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Total game changer for me. Had been getting crippling anxiety every morning first thing and randomly throughout the day, alongside trouble sleeping.

Can’t recommend it enough.

Supplement with a healthy diet, some light exercise and as much natural sunlight as possible.

Good to hear the CBD oil has helped greatly for you. It could yet prove to be helpful for a number of conditions according to some of the research.

Us Scots are particularly prone to skin conditions and others that are affected by Vit D deficiency. Vit D is absorbed into the body by natural sunlight however we don't always obtain enough of the natural sunlight's Vit D even in the summer at the critical time when the body tends to squirrel away Vit D levels for the other months.

I top up with recommended intakes of optimum Vit D D3 supplements on a daily basis albeit being careful not to take too much as too much of them can have adverse effects.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Good to hear the CBD oil has helped greatly for you. It could yet prove to be helpful for a number of conditions according to some of the research.

Us Scots are particularly prone to skin conditions and others that are affected by Vit D deficiency. Vit D is absorbed into the body by natural sunlight however we don't always obtain enough of the natural sunlight's Vit D even in the summer at the critical time when the body tends to squirrel away Vit D levels for the other months.

I top up with recommended intakes of optimum Vit D D3 supplements on a daily basis albeit being careful not to take too much as too much of them can have adverse effects.

I use a lamp, which sits beside my desk throughout the day. Can't think what I'd be like without it.

[Tornadoes70]

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I use a lamp, which sits beside my desk throughout the day. Can't think what I'd be like without it.

The weathers against us here for the vast majority of folk to maintain optimum levels of D3 Vit D and the medical research is there to advise us Scots and residents of other similar countries of non regular bright sunshine to have their Vit D levels checked and take supplements if required.

I was checked out a number of years ago by my then GP who is was a bit of an expert on Vit D deficiency and I was found to have a considerable deficiency according to the predicted normal levels which is why I take daily D3 Vit D supplements.

Serious D3 Vit D deficiency can lead to skin conditions and the more serious Osteoporosis among other effects. Its well worth being checked out for Vit D levels when one can.