Depression and anxiety

[Phil D. Rolls]

Been thinking about the way depression can take over your life, and send you into a vicious spiral. You often end up with so many problems, caused by and exacerbating the problem that you find it hard to put them right.

For example: your house is a mess, and you are embarrassed to see people; your finances are in a mess; you have neglected your appearance, your clothes might be dirty and worn out; you drink too much, and when you wake up you feel worse, and even less prepared to tackle your problems; you are unhappy in relationships and treat people the wrong way.

All of these things impact on each other, and the weight of them ways you down more and more. One of the best things you can do is take just one problem, and break it down into components. Then set yourself a goal to fix just one of those small parts.

An example might be, your whole house is filthy and untidy. You know you don't want it to be like that, but you just cannot get started on the job. Why not concentrate on your bedroom? You might not feel up to doing the whole job - so start off by changing your bed and give yourself a lot of praise for completing that one task.

Keep going in small steps, and do it at a pace you can cope with (it might take you a week or more) . Recognise that you are taking control of the illness, and praise yourself everytime you achieve something.

Your whole way of thinking has been that you are worthless, but I bet you haven't always felt like that. I also bet you are saying "yeah big deal I made the bed". You learned to worry, it happened in small steps without you knowing it. You can teach yourself to like yourself again in the same manner.

It's not easy, you have to tell yourself you are doing well, when you don't believe it yourself. Ever taught someone to drive, or play guitar, or to plaster a wall. I bet there were times you praised that person, even though you knew they could improve.

Treat yourself in the same way. If you work at it, and keep repeating it, your brain will learn to be confident.

[Pretty Boy]

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Its probably one of those phrases that you can use about yourself but you should probably avoid when speaking about others.

Agree with that.

Personally the thing I hated the most was the question 'what have you got to be depressed about?' Utterly infuriating as it just shows a total ignorance of the condition. Over the last few years I've met many people who areapparently successful, wealthy etc but all of them had depression.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Agree with that.

Personally the thing I hated the most was the question 'what have you got to be depressed about?' Utterly infuriating as it just shows a total ignorance of the condition. Over the last few years I've met many people who areapparently successful, wealthy etc but all of them had depression.

And I'm willing to bet that one of the prime drivers of their depression was perfectionism.....

[Phil D. Rolls]

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Agree with that.

Personally the thing I hated the most was the question 'what have you got to be depressed about?' Utterly infuriating as it just shows a total ignorance of the condition. Over the last few years I've met many people who areapparently successful, wealthy etc but all of them had depression.

Do people say "what have you got to be diabetic about"?

It is one of the hardest aspects of depression to have to explain to loved ones and colleagues that it is no fault of theirs that you are depressed. It just adds to the burden and lowers your self worth even more, when you have to go through how your illness works.

At the same time, it makes you feel worse to see the affect it has on them. It makes you worse to act in a way you don't want to.

[stu in nottingham]

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Been thinking about the way depression can take over your life, and send you into a vicious spiral. You often end up with so many problems, caused by and exacerbating the problem that you find it hard to put them right.

For example: your house is a mess, and you are embarrassed to see people; your finances are in a mess; you have neglected your appearance, your clothes might be dirty and worn out; you drink too much, and when you wake up you feel worse, and even less prepared to tackle your problems; you are unhappy in relationships and treat people the wrong way.

All of these things impact on each other, and the weight of them ways you down more and more. One of the best things you can do is take just one problem, and break it down into components. Then set yourself a goal to fix just one of those small parts.

An example might be, your whole house is filthy and untidy. You know you don't want it to be like that, but you just cannot get started on the job. Why not concentrate on your bedroom? You might not feel up to doing the whole job - so start off by changing your bed and give yourself a lot of praise for completing that one task.

Keep going in small steps, and do it at a pace you can cope with (it might take you a week or more) . Recognise that you are taking control of the illness, and praise yourself everytime you achieve something.

Your whole way of thinking has been that you are worthless, but I bet you haven't always felt like that. I also bet you are saying "yeah big deal I made the bed". You learned to worry, it happened in small steps without you knowing it. You can teach yourself to like yourself again in the same manner.

It's not easy, you have to tell yourself you are doing well, when you don't believe it yourself. Ever taught someone to drive, or play guitar, or to plaster a wall. I bet there were times you praised that person, even though you knew they could improve.

Treat yourself in the same way. If you work at it, and keep repeating it, your brain will learn to be confident.

Excellent and insightful post.

Sometimes the problems seem so great and numerous that it's difficult to take that first small step. I am a firm believer in taking one small step at a time -and that's for most problems in life.

[Phil D. Rolls]

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Excellent and insightful post.

Sometimes the problems seem so great and numerous that it's difficult to take that first small step. I am a firm believer in taking one small step at a time -and that's for most problems in life.

Thanks for that. These are my experiences, I have to add, that there are failures and setbacks on the way, and I sometimes had to go round several times in even completing the smallest step. I just want people to believe that recovery is possible and that by acknowledging their problems, they are half way to working out the solution.

At the same time, I'd also like to emphasise the importance of getting professional help. We tend to try and soldier on, and for many of us it is this attitude that has gradually worn us down. There is no shame in admitting that you are having problems.

Unfortunately men are notoriously bad at facing up to any illness. There is no need to be, no one is going to laugh, or call you weak. It could well be it is trying to be strong, in a situation that most would say is intolerable (bereavment, redundancy, seperation are examples) that has contributed to how you feel.

[MSK]

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A question for everyone on here.

My son has a college project to do, and he is probably going to do it on depression. He has been reading this thread with interest.

The question is.... is anyone willing to be quoted in his project? He won't use any of your user names, and he doesn't know any of you personally, so confidentiality shouldn't be an issue. However, he and I respect your rights in that respect, so no-one would be quoted without their consent.

Probably best if you PM me with your thoughts.

Ta.

Feel free to quote any of mine if yer lad finds them helpful ..pm me too if he has any questions, only too glad tae help ..

[Phil D. Rolls]

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A question for everyone on here.

My son has a college project to do, and he is probably going to do it on depression. He has been reading this thread with interest.

The question is.... is anyone willing to be quoted in his project? He won't use any of your user names, and he doesn't know any of you personally, so confidentiality shouldn't be an issue. However, he and I respect your rights in that respect, so no-one would be quoted without their consent.

Probably best if you PM me with your thoughts.

Ta.

Happy for my stuff to be quoted.

[Pretty Boy]

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A question for everyone on here.

My son has a college project to do, and he is probably going to do it on depression. He has been reading this thread with interest.

The question is.... is anyone willing to be quoted in his project? He won't use any of your user names, and he doesn't know any of you personally, so confidentiality shouldn't be an issue. However, he and I respect your rights in that respect, so no-one would be quoted without their consent.

Probably best if you PM me with your thoughts.

Ta.

Like others happy to be quoted or to give more in depth answers to any questions your son might have.

[Edinburghlass]

Again, happy to contribute.........

[Sylar]

No problem, as per above.

[Apocalypso]

I wouldn't be vexed if I were to be quoted or paraphrased.

[Phil D. Rolls]

“I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.”
― Charles M. Schulz

[yeezus.]

Thought I'd try and resurrect this thread. I've been prescribed 75mg of Venlafaxine and took my first tablet this morning. Has anyone used this drug? I have felt very ill all day.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Thought I'd try and resurrect this thread. I've been prescribed 75mg of Venlafaxine and took my first tablet this morning. Has anyone used this drug? I have felt very ill all day.

I have been on and off it for years, always at 75 mg.

It takes a while to build up a tolerance to it, and you will feel pretty crap until it kicks in.

The side effects are, at least for me:- night sweats, weight gain (watch your cholesterol), crappy dreams and loss of libido.

It does work for me, though.

[yeezus.]

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I have been on and off it for years, always at 75 mg.

It takes a while to build up a tolerance to it, and you will feel pretty crap until it kicks in.

The side effects are, at least for me:- night sweats, weight gain (watch your cholesterol), crappy dreams and loss of libido.

It does work for me, though.

Thanks for your response. Last night was the first night in over a year without Mirtazapine so my sleeping pattern is well and truly messed up.

[SRHibs]

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Thought I'd try and resurrect this thread. I've been prescribed 75mg of Venlafaxine and took my first tablet this morning. Has anyone used this drug? I have felt very ill all day.

I was prescribed it a few months ago for my problems. Started at a low dosage and ended up increasing gradually to 150mg a day (maybe more, I forget). I'll be honest with you, the illness never went away for me. It didn't last all day, but after taking a tablet, I'd be left feeling sick and with no appetite for a couple of hours. Everyone reacts differently, though. Good luck!

[yeezus.]

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I was prescribed it a few months ago for my problems. Started at a low dosage and ended up increasing gradually to 150mg a day (maybe more, I forget). I'll be honest with you, the illness never went away for me. It didn't last all day, but after taking a tablet, I'd be left feeling sick and with no appetite for a couple of hours. Everyone reacts differently, though. Good luck!

Thanks for that. I've been on it three days now and I just can't stop sweating so if that's the worst side effect I'll be happy.

[SRHibs]

Anyone else suffer from BDD and have any good coping strategies?

[yeezus.]

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Anyone else suffer from BDD and have any good coping strategies?

I do to an extent. I found University more intimidating when it comes to this and I remember trying to cover my face/ look at the ground. This was brought up at the CBT meeting I had and the doctor said there was more chance of people looking at me strangely if I covered my face.

[Lofarl]

I suffer with tinntius. When you are stressed or anxious the noise gets amplified in your brain. It's a cruel trick the brain plays on itself. Had it for 7 months now, the first few were the hardest I've ever experienced. I'm generally ok now, but still wary of loud noises. I moved seats away from the singing section over to the west. Even then I wear earplugs.

Best advice I can give it wear earplugs at nightclubs and gigs.

[mrdependable]

really interesting to hear other peoples experiences with depression and mental health issues. Ive suffered from what i would describe as chronic but low level depression all my adult life. I have been on anti-depressants a few times but they didnt really work for me, but everyones experiences are different. I am going to see someone about CBT next week. Does anyone have any experiences of it?

[CropleyWasGod]

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really interesting to hear other peoples experiences with depression and mental health issues. Ive suffered from what i would describe as chronic but low level depression all my adult life. I have been on anti-depressants a few times but they didnt really work for me, but everyones experiences are different. I am going to see someone about CBT next week. Does anyone have any experiences of it?

I tried CBT some years ago. It didn't work for me, for various reasons. However, I know others that it has worked for.

Good luck.

[StevesFamau5]

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I suffer with tinntius. When you are stressed or anxious the noise gets amplified in your brain. It's a cruel trick the brain plays on itself. Had it for 7 months now, the first few were the hardest I've ever experienced. I'm generally ok now, but still wary of loud noises. I moved seats away from the singing section over to the west. Even then I wear earplugs.

Best advice I can give it wear earplugs at nightclubs and gigs.

is that why that happens? dammit. i love the danve music scene i live for trance and i go to plenty of gigs/club nights and festivals. now i know next time im taking plugs. somtimes the noise in my ears causes massive pain :(

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[mrdependable]

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I tried CBT some years ago. It didn't work for me, for various reasons. However, I know others that it has worked for.

Good luck.

Thanks CWG
It's great that forums like these can be used to share experiences in this area.

[--------]

One book I've found very helpful - "Overcoming Depression for Dummies". You'll get it from Amazon; it works both for sufferers from depression and for those who're concerned about a family member or friend.

Explains stuff simply; clear, easy to use table of contents; and you don't have to read the thing straight through from cover to cover - you can dip into it from place to place. Lots of good stuff in it. For mild depression, the book itself will be a huge help. For more serious cases, you can use it along with counselling and/or therapy. One thing it does say - first step is to talk to someone, and to keep in touch with your GP.

[Just Alf]

Thanks Doddie, it's now ordered.

On CBT, while difficult, for me at least, to get my head around it, I found it made a big improvement in my life. As others have said I've found I need to revisit it but I believe this is all part of conditioning yourself appropriately.

On another note, Hibs.net has also helped me :-)
Argument, laughs, discussions etc from (sort of) like minded individuals... Thank you .

[--------]

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Thanks Doddie, it's now ordered.

On CBT, while difficult, for me at least, to get my head around it, I found it made a big improvement in my life. As others have said I've found I need to revisit it but I believe this is all part of conditioning yourself appropriately.

On another note, Hibs.net has also helped me :-)
Argument, laughs, discussions etc from (sort of) like minded individuals... Thank you .

You're welcome. Hope you find it helpful.

[judas]

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Been thinking about the way depression can take over your life, and send you into a vicious spiral. You often end up with so many problems, caused by and exacerbating the problem that you find it hard to put them right.

For example: your house is a mess, and you are embarrassed to see people; your finances are in a mess; you have neglected your appearance, your clothes might be dirty and worn out; you drink too much, and when you wake up you feel worse, and even less prepared to tackle your problems; you are unhappy in relationships and treat people the wrong way.

All of these things impact on each other, and the weight of them ways you down more and more. One of the best things you can do is take just one problem, and break it down into components. Then set yourself a goal to fix just one of those small parts.

An example might be, your whole house is filthy and untidy. You know you don't want it to be like that, but you just cannot get started on the job. Why not concentrate on your bedroom? You might not feel up to doing the whole job - so start off by changing your bed and give yourself a lot of praise for completing that one task.

Keep going in small steps, and do it at a pace you can cope with (it might take you a week or more) . Recognise that you are taking control of the illness, and praise yourself everytime you achieve something.

Your whole way of thinking has been that you are worthless, but I bet you haven't always felt like that. I also bet you are saying "yeah big deal I made the bed". You learned to worry, it happened in small steps without you knowing it. You can teach yourself to like yourself again in the same manner.

It's not easy, you have to tell yourself you are doing well, when you don't believe it yourself. Ever taught someone to drive, or play guitar, or to plaster a wall. I bet there were times you praised that person, even though you knew they could improve.

Treat yourself in the same way. If you work at it, and keep repeating it, your brain will learn to be confident.

I appreciate you starting this thread.

[--------]

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Been thinking about the way depression can take over your life, and send you into a vicious spiral. You often end up with so many problems, caused by and exacerbating the problem that you find it hard to put them right.

For example: your house is a mess, and you are embarrassed to see people; your finances are in a mess; you have neglected your appearance, your clothes might be dirty and worn out; you drink too much, and when you wake up you feel worse, and even less prepared to tackle your problems; you are unhappy in relationships and treat people the wrong way.

All of these things impact on each other, and the weight of them ways you down more and more. One of the best things you can do is take just one problem, and break it down into components. Then set yourself a goal to fix just one of those small parts.

An example might be, your whole house is filthy and untidy. You know you don't want it to be like that, but you just cannot get started on the job. Why not concentrate on your bedroom? You might not feel up to doing the whole job - so start off by changing your bed and give yourself a lot of praise for completing that one task.

Keep going in small steps, and do it at a pace you can cope with (it might take you a week or more) . Recognise that you are taking control of the illness, and praise yourself everytime you achieve something.

Your whole way of thinking has been that you are worthless, but I bet you haven't always felt like that. I also bet you are saying "yeah big deal I made the bed". You learned to worry, it happened in small steps without you knowing it. You can teach yourself to like yourself again in the same manner.

It's not easy, you have to tell yourself you are doing well, when you don't believe it yourself. Ever taught someone to drive, or play guitar, or to plaster a wall. I bet there were times you praised that person, even though you knew they could improve.

Treat yourself in the same way. If you work at it, and keep repeating it, your brain will learn to be confident.

Missed this earlier, FR - apologies, I should have read the whole thread. Very good, thoughtful post -