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Thread: Depression and anxiety
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05-04-2020 11:47 AM #1141
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05-04-2020 07:24 PM #1142
The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.
The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......
Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.PM Awards General Poster of The Year 2015, 2016, 2017. Probably robbed in other years
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05-04-2020 07:30 PM #1143This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.
Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.
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05-04-2020 07:56 PM #1144
I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.
My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.
I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.
"This, too, shall pass...".
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05-04-2020 08:26 PM #1145This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
In the shorter term you may find something useful here:
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/looking-after-your-mental-health-during-coronavirus-outbreak
https://www.mind.org.uk/coronavirus-we-are-here-for-you/
In practical terms is there a way you and your wife could go for separate walks? Maybe one takes your daughter and one without and take the solo walk day about? A bit respite from all being cooped up together might be helpful.
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05-04-2020 09:11 PM #1146
We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.
Last edited by HUTCHYHIBBY; 08-04-2020 at 07:47 PM.
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05-04-2020 10:43 PM #1147This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.
Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.
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05-04-2020 11:18 PM #1148This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
My coping strategy this weekend has been to try to focus on the absurdity of it all. There is little most of us outside of the scientific & political world can do other than to follow the advice and realise that with every day that passes we're a day closer to the other side of this, whenever that may be. This probably sounds daft, but the lyrics to the Monty Python song, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' feel quite relevant right now!
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05-04-2020 11:39 PM #1149
A daft wee example of what I mean by the absurdity of the situation: I was walking home from the shops yesterday, and there was a guy walking towards me (looked a bit radge). We got to within about 30 feet of each other, and I decided to swerve inwards so we would keep the requisite distance when passing; at exactly the same time, he swerved in the same direction, and then we did the same back the other way. Eventually we sorted it out, and at the point of passing we both burst out laughing as if to say,"This is ridiculous!". I'm hating this bloody lockdown, but keeping my sense of humour is going to be one way of helping me through it.
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08-04-2020 07:47 PM #1150This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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08-04-2020 09:22 PM #1151
I think the “PR game” the govt are currently playing is extremely unhelpful. Slow release of comments about “not being ready yet to lift lockdown”.... “awaiting the scientific evidence” etc.
People would much prefer certainty. People probably mostly accept it needs to extend. So the govt should just come out and say “till end April” or whatever and it’ll be reviewed again then. Then people can plan and get on with their lives. Acceptance and certainty is key.
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08-04-2020 09:40 PM #1152This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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08-04-2020 09:42 PM #1153This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk
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09-04-2020 04:59 AM #1154This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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09-04-2020 06:16 AM #1155
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Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.
It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)
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09-04-2020 10:36 AM #1156This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?
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09-04-2020 12:00 PM #1157This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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09-04-2020 05:31 PM #1158
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09-04-2020 06:41 PM #1159This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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12-04-2020 09:57 AM #1160
Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.
A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.
Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.Cougars!!!
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12-04-2020 03:04 PM #1161This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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12-04-2020 04:17 PM #1162
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That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.
Thanks for sharing this everyone.
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12-04-2020 04:19 PM #1163
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12-04-2020 04:24 PM #1164
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
Hi all,
Hope we're all feeling as ok as we can about things right now. I know the thoughts about guilt and school (I'm a teacher), about giving up certain freedoms to self-isolate or go into quarantine are taking up a lot of our energy. I thought I'd share a few things I've learned in the past that helped me - feel free to totally ignore, cherry pick or use as you best see fit.
Ok, I basically spent 6 months in a form of quarantine back in 2009. I was out about once a week, had a few times where I could go on day trips and managed a night or two away when I was feeling better...but it was 6 months of pain due to chronic migraines. And there were times where I thought this would be my life. So I've got some experience of this in some ways. 1 - You will adjust to it. Like everything in life, it's often less scary than our minds first make it out to be. 2 - You will adjust and find there are some positives to it - time with family, the ability to do things that you wouldn't have allocated time towards. 3 - You realise that online communities can actually keep you sane (and you also realise some need ditched within minutes!) 4 - There's a lot of good advice out there on how to cope mentally. Once you start to pick this up, it kinda stays there. I used a lot of Stoic philosophy and this has changed my life. 5 - Use mental health tools to help. I get hugely increased anxiety and aspects of clinical depression around my migraines. I find that 'morning pages' REALLY help me. Get three sheets of A3 pages and handwrite whatever is in your mind. Rant. Let it all out. It's not a diary so you don't need to worry about formating, handwriting, spelling, grammar or anything. Just write. And do the full three pages. I usually end ranting at around the end of page 2 and then feel a lot more mellow by the end of page 3 as I seem to be on a constructive and positive 'upswing' by then. 6 - Finally, focus as much as you can on control. This is pure Stoic philosophy btw. Most things in our life are outwith our control. Learn to focus on what we can do. We can't control CV but we can look to help, check up on others and keep it constructive and positive. I'm not religious but this 'Serenity Prayer' is used by the Alcoholics Anonymous and is more Stoic than Christian; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
You'll be surprise as to how well you can cope with being at home. You'll pleasantly surprise yourselves I'm sure. There's SO much positivity and support in this group which we can all use.
Some extra things I've done to help me;
Keep a structure in your day
Work out all the things you can do that 'you never have time for' - inc that boring stuff like updating a CV, sorting out house insurance documentation etc
Morning pages really helped me
do weights, exercise
watch your diet
schedule treats
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12-04-2020 05:56 PM #1165This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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12-04-2020 06:31 PM #1166
Mental Health And Wellbeing in Covid-19 - resources.
https://wellbeingincovid19.com/?fbcl...90olamuDALaFd8
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12-04-2020 08:18 PM #1167
Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.
Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.
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12-04-2020 11:46 PM #1168This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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19-04-2020 09:13 AM #1169This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.
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19-04-2020 07:32 PM #1170This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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