Bought a Mamas and Papas salad from Tesco.
It’s terrible, all the leaves are brown.
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Bought a Mamas and Papas salad from Tesco.
It’s terrible, all the leaves are brown.
I don't know which is worse; your last 2 contributions or the fact they made me laugh 🤔Quote:
Originally Posted by Northernhibee
In that theme.Quote:
Originally Posted by Northernhibee
I woke up in the middle of last night, and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing beside my bed.
At first I was afraid.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...64804cf35e.jpg
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I'm just really thankful that I got the last three or four right away no matter the quality. 🤡
What was the photographer joke?Quote:
Originally Posted by NORTHERNHIBBY
A photographer was killed in a freak accident today. Whilst trying to take a group photo a giant lump of cheddar fell on him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Speedy
Bystanders said people did try to warn him.....
EDIT: Originally posted by c31
:greengrinQuote:
Originally Posted by Future17
Had a full 3hrs of sex last night. We decided to have a wee bit of role play to spice things up.
She was dressed as a Doctor, white coat, nothing on underneath except stockings and suspenders, stethoscope round the neck.
I was the patient with imaginary illness. Was in the waiting room for *** 2 hrs 58mins.
My wife insisted on having a ceiling mirror fitted so we could see ourselves having fun in the bedroom. On reflection it was a bad idea.
😂😂Quote:
Originally Posted by Hibbyradge
I went to a fetish restaurant last week'
----i got toed in the hole !!!
I thought I had agreed to buy a classic car when I answered the ad but ended up with a very young and small barrel maker.
Excellent.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee
Go on then, explain it to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee
Think Italian Job :greengrinQuote:
Originally Posted by AltheHibby
Think of a very small British boxing legend who lost against Muhammad Ali.Quote:
Originally Posted by AltheHibby
Who lived in Fife, nickety......Quote:
Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg
The wee Fifer who lived in Cupar?Quote:
Originally Posted by Moulin Yarns
Duh! Thanks all. The stupid is strong with me today.
Great joke now that I understand it!🤣
I used to run a dating agency for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet.
Barbie is 64 this year but still looks 24,do you think she has had plastic surgery?
What do you call a dog with no tongue?
-Stinky baws!
Met this lovely woman, with a beautiful red dress on, real slinky number you know....I told her she looked great but she looked fantastic when she came down the stairs.
Nope. Slinky reference maybe?Quote:
Originally Posted by c31
Ah!! That's maybe it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hibbyradge
Off topic I know but Slinky’s are weird things…when you drop them, even from a roof, the bottom doesn’t move until the top is at the same height. Weird indeed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hibbyradge
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=olHiFG35dBg
A lawyer representing a very wealthy art dealer phoned him and said "Hi Paul, I've got good news and bad news for you. Which would you like first?"
The art dealer said "I've had a rubbish day so far, so give me the good news first and it might raise my spirits".
"Well, I met with your wife today and she told me that she invested £1500 in two pictures which she thinks will fetch between 10 and 15 million and I think she is probably right".
"Wow" says Paul enthusiastically, "My wife is a brilliant business woman and has a great eye for high art. You really have cheered me up. Now I can handle any bad news you care to throw at me.
The lawyer said, "The pictures were of you and your secretary".
I came across a sign that said Duck,eggs
I thought that’s an unnecessary comma.
Then it hit me.
Was telling my doctor that every time I go for a hospital appointment, I sit in the waiting room for hours and then end up with a bad back when I am called, he said Ben I think you’re being ridiculous it can’t be that bad. Just then his receptionist called “Mr Dover you prescription is ready” so left.