Depression and anxiety

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Originally Posted by R'Albin

Can I just say, this thread is quite comfortably the best on the site. I've re-read it so many times and it just reminds me how fantastic the people on here are.

:top marks

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Agree 100% .... Also, being able to share with "friends" or people in similar circumstances has actually helped me as well.


So... A huge thank you guys.

:flag:

Feel this is too good a thread to be on the second page. Have reread it many times and can relate to a lot of what's been posted. Depression is hitting me hard just now struggling to motivate myself to get out of bed never mind going to work. I don't tend to share feelings especially on the Internet but perhaps it could help me.

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Feel this is too good a thread to be on the second page. Have reread it many times and can relate to a lot of what's been posted. Depression is hitting me hard just now struggling to motivate myself to get out of bed never mind going to work. I don't tend to share feelings especially on the Internet but perhaps it could help me.

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It's that time of year where the darkness starts to fall for a lot of people.

You're not alone. One of the benefits of social media is that you can share a lot, whilst maintaining your anonymity. So feel free to vent, either on the thread or privately.

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Feel this is too good a thread to be on the second page. Have reread it many times and can relate to a lot of what's been posted. Depression is hitting me hard just now struggling to motivate myself to get out of bed never mind going to work. I don't tend to share feelings especially on the Internet but perhaps it could help me.

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Lisa

It is crap and it is a deep dark hole that is hard to imagine coming out of but some very basic bloody minded actions will help.

Walk, eat, sleep.

If you can walk just 20 minutes a day at as brisk a pace as you can manage that is sufficient - more is better obviously.

Try and make yourself eat three times a day. Diet has a huge impact and putting fuel into the engine really matters. Google the stuff to try and avoid eating as a next step and the mood enhancing things to try to eat.

Sleeping is your friend. The more you do at regular hours the better. It is when your body and mind tries to mend itself.

Beyond that the other thing that can help is social interaction. If you can go out of your way to try and help someone else, no matter how simple a thing it is, it will pick you up. And just speaking with someone else about almost anything will help to take you out of yourself.

You have more control over this than you think or realise. It is just very hard to believe when you are down.

Stick in, I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

It's that time of year where the darkness starts to fall for a lot of people.

You're not alone. One of the benefits of social media is that you can share a lot, whilst maintaining your anonymity. So feel free to vent, either on the thread or privately.

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You're right Crops. When the blue sky sometimes breaks through its a liberating feeling. Blue light bulbs are the way to go...

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Originally Posted by One Day Soon

You're right Crops. When the blue sky sometimes breaks through its a liberating feeling. Blue light bulbs are the way to go...

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I've just had a wee walk in the sunshine. Made quite a difference :)

I have a light box for the office, which is on constantly from about November. Are blue light bulbs something different?

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Originally Posted by One Day Soon

Lisa

It is crap and it is a deep dark hole that is hard to imagine coming out of but some very basic bloody minded actions will help.-

Walk, eat, sleep.

If you can walk just 20 minutes a day at as brisk a pace as you can manage that is sufficient - more is better obviously.

Try and make yourself eat three times a day. Diet has a huge impact and putting fuel into the engine really matters. Google the stuff to try and avoid eating as a next step and the mood enhancing things to try to eat.

Sleeping is your friend. The more you do at regular hours the better. It is when your body and mind tries to mend itself.

Beyond that the other thing that can help is social interaction. If you can go out of your way to try and help someone else, no matter how simple a thing it is, it will pick you up. And just speaking with someone else about almost anything will help to take you out of yourself.

You have more control over this than you think or realise. It is just very hard to believe when you are down.

Stick in, I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you.

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Some sound advice three.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

I've just had a wee walk in the sunshine. Made quite a difference :)

I have a light box for the office, which is on constantly from about November. Are blue light bulbs something different?

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I think the light box is the same thing. November is the dreaded month, that's when the Demons like to start to slither.

Having things to look forward to helps too. Which is one reason why a crap Hibs isn't really helping....

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Feel this is too good a thread to be on the second page. Have reread it many times and can relate to a lot of what's been posted. Depression is hitting me hard just now struggling to motivate myself to get out of bed never mind going to work. I don't tend to share feelings especially on the Internet but perhaps it could help me.

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Lisa, amidst all the nonsense that goes on on .net on a daily basis this is by far the best thread that has ever appeared on .net. You've taken the first step by posting on the thread, I would advise you to pick the post that relates closest to how you feel just now then send the poster a wee PM asking for a wee chat, it's a lot more of a problem for people than you may think just now. After reading the thread numerous times I'm confident you'll get a wee ray of light from whoever.

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Feel this is too good a thread to be on the second page. Have reread it many times and can relate to a lot of what's been posted. Depression is hitting me hard just now struggling to motivate myself to get out of bed never mind going to work. I don't tend to share feelings especially on the Internet but perhaps it could help me.

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Lisa. Depression is horrible. I suffer with Bi-Polar disorder and have done for many years. I do get the highs occasionally however it's the crashing lows that really affect me. You will hear "give yourself a shake", and other ignorant advice. NEVER be afraid to ask for help from people you trust, friends, family or even your GP. I have to agree with One day soon and CWG that even using this thread to vent or speak to people who understand would in my opinion be a great support. As i said I have and still go through bad days but I have, in time, used things that work for me to get me through these days. This thread, without doubt is the most important on the whole forum and I think should be used as a sounding board as others have suggested. Say what you want on it. You will NOT be judged.......

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Originally Posted by Mikey09

Lisa. Depression is horrible. I suffer with Bi-Polar disorder and have done for many years. I do get the highs occasionally however it's the crashing lows that really affect me. You will hear "give yourself a shake", and other ignorant advice. NEVER be afraid to ask for help from people you trust, friends, family or even your GP. I have to agree with One day soon and CWG that even using this thread to vent or speak to people who understand would in my opinion be a great support. As i said I have and still go through bad days but I have, in time, used things that work for me to get me through these days. This thread, without doubt is the most important on the whole forum and I think should be used as a sounding board as others have suggested. Say what you want on it. You will NOT be judged.......

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Good post ..:agree:

Posting quite personal matters on a forum is new to me, but I agree that venting to people who have no clue who you are helps!

I attended an emergency appointment at my gps last weeks and saw a doctor who I had not dealt with before, I was quite anxious on the bus journey there but he was quite refreshing, mid way through the conversation I explained I had never really been given a diagnoses, my normal gp had previously written depression on my sicklines then I'm sure a psychiatrist at Cambridge street told me otherwise. Anyway he explained I had been given two disgnosis one depression and the other borderline personality disorder which previous people had failed to mention to me. He prescribed chlorpromazine along side my normal serteline but warned it was only like a paster and would be a short term fix to stop me feeling so low.

Lisa's life story haha!

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Posting quite personal matters on a forum is new to me, but I agree that venting to people who have no clue who you are helps!

I attended an emergency appointment at my gps last weeks and saw a doctor who I had not dealt with before, I was quite anxious on the bus journey there but he was quite refreshing, mid way through the conversation I explained I had never really been given a diagnoses, my normal gp had previously written depression on my sicklines then I'm sure a psychiatrist at Cambridge street told me otherwise. Anyway he explained I had been given two disgnosis one depression and the other borderline personality disorder which previous people had failed to mention to me. He prescribed chlorpromazine along side my normal serteline but warned it was only like a paster and would be a short term fix to stop me feeling so low.

Lisa's life story haha!

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Its a start Lisa, and good on you for taking the courage to share on here ...as mentioned there are like minded people who have experienced and shared various degrees of depression, anxiety, bi-polar & personality disorders on here. Its also good to read that a few have come through the "other end" sometimes through lifestyle changes, therapies or controlled medication, or possibly by following some good advice or links given on this thread.

Stick in there, its a sometimes long & bumpy road but you will get to the other end ..we are all with you ..:aok:

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Posting quite personal matters on a forum is new to me, but I agree that venting to people who have no clue who you are helps!

I attended an emergency appointment at my gps last weeks and saw a doctor who I had not dealt with before, I was quite anxious on the bus journey there but he was quite refreshing, mid way through the conversation I explained I had never really been given a diagnoses, my normal gp had previously written depression on my sicklines then I'm sure a psychiatrist at Cambridge street told me otherwise. Anyway he explained I had been given two disgnosis one depression and the other borderline personality disorder which previous people had failed to mention to me. He prescribed chlorpromazine along side my normal serteline but warned it was only like a paster and would be a short term fix to stop me feeling so low.

Lisa's life story haha!

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i went through a period of speaking to my GP who prescribed firstly seroxat, which made things worse for me. It wasn't until I was properly diagnosed with bipolar that I eventually got the right help from a specialist who put me on Quetiapine whilst working with the psychiatric nurse doing things like Cognitive behavioral therapy, looking at structuring my life, diet, exercise etc. The most important part of your post for me is you saying you have a diagnosis now. That is fantastic. Please work with whoever you have been referred to. You CAN live a full, happy life with mental illness if you are focused on doing so. One of the things that really helped me was exercise. Google it and find out more about how exercise helps with depression. It may be a small thing but it's a huge help for recovery and staying well. Hope you are getting there.......

Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

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Not personally although my mum had a course of it quite a few years ago.

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

Not personally although my mum had a course of it quite a few years ago.

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Was that for depression?

Don't want to pry (PM me if you prefer), but I'm interested in what her experience was.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

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ECT was something discussed with my psychiatrist and after talking with my wife I turned it down as the answers to the questions we asked were vague to say the least. Thing that worried me the most was there didn't seem to be much control of the outcome of it. I'm sure it has worked for some people but at the time it wasn't for me. Not much help CWG, sorry. One thing I will say is I watched a fascinating documentary on Netflix last night called Neurons to Nirvana; Understanding psychedelic medicines. Really worth a watch.....

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

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Evidence is split down the middle about its efficacy. The process itself happens under a general anaesthetic these days and involves inducing a mild epileptic fit.

TV still plays it up as a horrible torture.

Anybody thinking of having it should be aware of the strong chance of cognition being impaired after it.

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Originally Posted by Mikey09

i went through a period of speaking to my GP who prescribed firstly seroxat, which made things worse for me. It wasn't until I was properly diagnosed with bipolar that I eventually got the right help from a specialist who put me on Quetiapine whilst working with the psychiatric nurse doing things like Cognitive behavioral therapy, looking at structuring my life, diet, exercise etc. The most important part of your post for me is you saying you have a diagnosis now. That is fantastic. Please work with whoever you have been referred to. You CAN live a full, happy life with mental illness if you are focused on doing so. One of the things that really helped me was exercise. Google it and find out more about how exercise helps with depression. It may be a small thing but it's a huge help for recovery and staying well. Hope you are getting there.......

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An inspiring post! I went to see Lady Gaga recently, and she was saying much the same thing. Don't give in, use your special gift to your advantage - and never listen to those who will try to stop you living your life to the full.

This may be quite a stupid question but does anyone know what the difference is between attending the community mental health team at Cambridge street or being referred to the Royal Edinburgh, I was under the impression they both had the same type of multidisciplinary teams to deal with things?

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Originally Posted by Hibee_Lisa

This may be quite a stupid question but does anyone know what the difference is between attending the community mental health team at Cambridge street or being referred to the Royal Edinburgh, I was under the impression they both had the same type of multidisciplinary teams to deal with things?

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I was referred to the Hermand Flat in Haddington and was seen by a top consultant there who then put in place my recovery programme with the psychiatric nurses having regular follow up meetings with him. They were fantastic. I can't speak highly enough of them. I was at rock bottom and would have done ANYTHING to feel better. I know this doesn't answer your question Lisa but what I'm saying is the help is out there if you're willing to use it. I will be honest though... I certainly know in my case, and probably many others, it's an ongoing thing. I take everything one day at a time, as it gets me through. I can't stress enough how important structure, healthy diet, proper sleep and exercise has been in my recovery to date. But the biggest thing for myself has been talking about it. Doing this with someone I trusted was a huge help to me. Anyway I'm rambling now..... Hope you get the help you need and deserve.....

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Originally Posted by Mikey09

I was referred to the Hermand Flat in Haddington and was seen by a top consultant there who then put in place my recovery programme with the psychiatric nurses having regular follow up meetings with him. They were fantastic. I can't speak highly enough of them. I was at rock bottom and would have done ANYTHING to feel better. I know this doesn't answer your question Lisa but what I'm saying is the help is out there if you're willing to use it. I will be honest though... I certainly know in my case, and probably many others, it's an ongoing thing. I take everything one day at a time, as it gets me through. I can't stress enough how important structure, healthy diet, proper sleep and exercise has been in my recovery to date. But the biggest thing for myself has been talking about it. Doing this with someone I trusted was a huge help to me. Anyway I'm rambling now..... Hope you get the help you need and deserve.....

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November is always grim - and I know that the neglected exercise, failure to eat regularly and poor sleep just unlocks the doors and invites the demons right in. It can be almost literally like having to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other.

Mikey, can you say more about the structure part?

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Originally Posted by One Day Soon

November is always grim - and I know that the neglected exercise, failure to eat regularly and poor sleep just unlocks the doors and invites the demons right in. It can be almost literally like having to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other.

Mikey, can you say more about the structure part?

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Once on my feet, so to speak, I put a structured plan in place for my day to day life. However, my recovery took time even with this so I had to accept it takes small steps and not set myself unrealistic targets. Small things, realistic aims and goals.

- I would plan my day in writing, doing this the night before.

- However, as I said, I would be realistic, dividing these into primary and secondary aims and tasks.

- Don't just fill your day with duties.Make free time for something you enjoy.

- I would always start my day at the same time. Again, be realistic.

- Write down when to take any medication.

- Look forward to your day. Get up and begin your day in a good mood!! You have bound to have heard the shouts at Easter Road, "C'mon Hibs, let's start this game well and set the tone for a good performance!!" Although maybe not recently...:wink: But you know what I mean.

- Plan and prepare good, healthy food.

- Take half an hour for some form of exercise. Again, be realistic!! I climb North Berwick Law every day with my dog.


I personally do this day to day as it works for me. Some could plan it weekly, it's whatever works for YOU. Writing things down is a fantastic way of seeing your day laid out in front of you which, certainly for me, encouraged discipline and structure. It might not look much, and it's not rocket science but if you're struggling it may help..... Hope it does....

Never underestimate the impact of not going to the toilet regularly on your mood. It's something we laugh at as males, but there are established medical reasons why failure to "perform regular elimination" can bring you down physically and mentally.

When you need to pooh, messages go between your brain and bowels, in what is called a "feedback loop". Constipation causes this to overload, and it impacts on your "fight or flight" mechanism. This results in your brain telling itself it has something to frightened of - hence that feeling of anxiety where you can't put your finger (quiet at the back) on what is bothering you/

Another reason we need to poo regularly is that it cleanses the body of toxins. If you can't get them out of your body, they start to hang about your body, and that's not good for your state of mind either.

So before you go immersing yourself in Freud and Adler, it's worth looking a bit closer to home for the reason you feel sluggish, nauseus, and downright wabbit. Another reason to take your five a day, or Lactulose, Fybogel, Laxido etc.

This may not be entirely relevant but I did have struggles with my sexuality while at University. It was something I thought may disappear, or pass over after the assault but I answered the question about Gay football fans on the PM forum not knowing whether or not it was a wind up?

Abuse, depression and anxiety do strange things to the human minds. 600 mg of Seroquel at night has calmed me down but I think maybe a counsellor would be of some use?

[QUOTE= I would suggest that your issues are very relevant.

Life experiences, of whatever sort, have an impact on our mental health.

A counsellor, though, would be a good place to start in establishing what impact they have had on you :)

I noticed your post on the other thread. I hope it's not a wind up.

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

This may not be entirely relevant but I did have struggles with my sexuality while at University. It was something I thought may disappear, or pass over after the assault but I answered the question about Gay football fans on the PM forum not knowing whether or not it was a wind up?

Abuse, depression and anxiety do strange things to the human minds. 600 mg of Seroquel at night has calmed me down but I think maybe a counsellor would be of some use?

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FWIW I'm fairly certain that's not a wind - up. Maybe the op hasn't been online or had time to respond? He's never struck me as the type to do something vindictive tbh.

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

This may not be entirely relevant but I did have struggles with my sexuality while at University. It was something I thought may disappear, or pass over after the assault but I answered the question about Gay football fans on the PM forum not knowing whether or not it was a wind up?

Abuse, depression and anxiety do strange things to the human minds. 600 mg of Seroquel at night has calmed me down but I think maybe a counsellor would be of some use?

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What assault was this? If you don't mind me asking.

Wee bit of light relief:

I was watching the Simpsons and Ned Flanders had been sectioned. He starts throwing the books around in the Psychiatrist's office.

"Please don't do that Mr. Flanders", says the shrink, "half of those haven't been discredited yet".

Made me laugh.

I've read this thread with great interest since I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I find it really hard to talk about my problems with friends and family and for the most part try and pretend things are alright. Things aren't alright though and I feel so low and horrible and worthless most of the time. I'm on medication from my doctor who has been really great with me, but I have the tendency to say everything's going well when I speak to someone, when everything isn't ok. I work long hours and miss spending time with my family, I struggle to get out of bed every day and I hate myself for not being the perfect father and partner. I try my best to be a decent man and always consider other people's feelings when I'm going about my daily business. I thought that when I was diagnosed with depression it would be a case of getting some pills and it would go away, it hasn't been like that and I'm now at my wits end. Sorry for the rant but it really helps me getting things of my chest.
Thanks
Philip

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I've read this thread with great interest since I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I find it really hard to talk about my problems with friends and family and for the most part try and pretend things are alright. Things aren't alright though and I feel so low and horrible and worthless most of the time. I'm on medication from my doctor who has been really great with me, but I have the tendency to say everything's going well when I speak to someone, when everything isn't ok. I work long hours and miss spending time with my family, I struggle to get out of bed every day and I hate myself for not being the perfect father and partner. I try my best to be a decent man and always consider other people's feelings when I'm going about my daily business. I thought that when I was diagnosed with depression it would be a case of getting some pills and it would go away, it hasn't been like that and I'm now at my wits end. Sorry for the rant but it really helps me getting things of my chest.
Thanks
Philip

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Hi Philip.

Some of what you say is very familiar and, dare I say it, common. The bits I've highlighted are particularly true about men. It's hard being a "man" these days, however you define it. It's even harder to "admit" that you're not the strong, infallible man that society says you should be.

What you have done, though, is taken a step. You say you can't share your issues, and that's not unusual; talking to close people can be very difficult. But you have shared it here, with strangers.

That's pretty damned positive.

One of the earliest comforts I had was realising that I'm not alone. That isn't a cure, but a recognition that there is a whole community that "gets it". You'd be surprised by how many of your mates and family have the same issues. Maybe try them?

Currently, in these dark nights, my biggest crutch is exercise. You're a taxi-driver, yeah? Like me, sitting down all day. Do you exercise much? If not, you might be surprised how much of a boost you can get. The hardest part, of course, is getting past that "canny be a'd" feeling.

This thread is full of brilliant mental-cases like you and I. :greengrin We're all here to help.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Hi Philip.

Some of what you say is very familiar and, dare I say it, common. The bits I've highlighted are particularly true about men. It's hard being a "man" these days, however you define it. It's even harder to "admit" that you're not the strong, infallible man that society says you should be.

What you have done, though, is taken a step. You say you can't share your issues, and that's not unusual; talking to close people can be very difficult. But you have shared it here, with strangers.

That's pretty damned positive.

One of the earliest comforts I had was realising that I'm not alone. That isn't a cure, but a recognition that there is a whole community that "gets it". You'd be surprised by how many of your mates and family have the same issues. Maybe try them?

Currently, in these dark nights, my biggest crutch is exercise. You're a taxi-driver, yeah? Like me, sitting down all day. Do you exercise much? If not, you might be surprised how much of a boost you can get. The hardest part, of course, is getting past that "canny be a'd" feeling.

This thread is full of brilliant mental-cases like you and I. :greengrin We're all here to help.

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Thanks for your reply crops, I was really trying to go down the exercise route after reading this thread, and to start with I felt it was really helping. When I went to work(I work nights) I started to feel really tired and ended up finishing early, which had a detremental effect on what I was earning, which in turn effected my overall well being. I try to tell myself that I'm in a better positions than a lot of people and try to focus on the positive things in my life(of which there are many) but no matter how hard I try I still feel the same. I look at ,y daughter and give her the biggest hug you can imagine but I'm wondering if it's me who needs Her or vice versa.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for your reply crops, I was really trying to go down the exercise route after reading this thread, and to start with I felt it was really helping. When I went to work(I work nights) I started to feel really tired and ended up finishing early, which had a detremental effect on what I was earning, which in turn effected my overall well being. I try to tell myself that I'm in a better positions than a lot of people and try to focus on the positive things in my life(of which there are many) but no matter how hard I try I still feel the same. I look at ,y daughter and give her the biggest hug you can imagine but I'm wondering if it's me who needs Her or vice versa.

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Both, mate :agree:

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Both, mate :agree:

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You're right as always mate. Thank you for listening

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I've read this thread with great interest since I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I find it really hard to talk about my problems with friends and family and for the most part try and pretend things are alright. Things aren't alright though and I feel so low and horrible and worthless most of the time. I'm on medication from my doctor who has been really great with me, but I have the tendency to say everything's going well when I speak to someone, when everything isn't ok. I work long hours and miss spending time with my family, I struggle to get out of bed every day and I hate myself for not being the perfect father and partner. I try my best to be a decent man and always consider other people's feelings when I'm going about my daily business. I thought that when I was diagnosed with depression it would be a case of getting some pills and it would go away, it hasn't been like that and I'm now at my wits end. Sorry for the rant but it really helps me getting things of my chest.
Thanks
Philip

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An emotional post my friend. The one thing that sticks out for me in your post is you saying you work long hours and miss spending time with your family. This is something I addressed and it had a dramatic effect in my recovery. We all have to earn a living, but not at the expense of your happiness LB. You are a mirror image of myself..... I use banter, acting the clown and am always cracking jokes to mask how I really feel sometimes. I spoke to my wife, eventually and told her everything. She was brilliant. Speak to your family, or your doctor again. As CWG says, this isn't a cure. It's a case of finding ways of coping that work for you and your loved ones. Don't beat yourself up re not being a perfect father. Is there such a thing?? I don't think there is. Be the best you can. Being Bipolar isn't great for me, but am I gonna let it ruin my life?? Not a chance! I just have to do things a bit differently to others. You can control this with help and structure to your life. I have found what works for me. You can do the same Phillip....... Stick in ma friend.

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Originally Posted by Mikey09

An emotional post my friend. The one thing that sticks out for me in your post is you saying you work long hours and miss spending time with your family. This is something I addressed and it had a dramatic effect in my recovery. We all have to earn a living, but not at the expense of your happiness LB. You are a mirror image of myself..... I use banter, acting the clown and am always cracking jokes to mask how I really feel sometimes. I spoke to my wife, eventually and told her everything. She was brilliant. Speak to your family, or your doctor again. As CWG says, this isn't a cure. It's a case of finding ways of coping that work for you and your loved ones. Don't beat yourself up re not being a perfect father. Is there such a thing?? I don't think there is. Be the best you can. Being Bipolar isn't great for me, but am I gonna let it ruin my life?? Not a chance! I just have to do things a bit differently to others. You can control this with help and structure to your life. I have found what works for me. You can do the same Phillip....... Stick in ma friend.

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Thanks for the advice mate, I'm going to sit down over the next few days and work out a way to cut down the amount of hours I work. I also work nights which is part of the problem, so I'm going to try and address that as well.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for the advice mate, I'm going to sit down over the next few days and work out a way to cut down the amount of hours I work. I also work nights which is part of the problem, so I'm going to try and address that as well.

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Although I can't identify with all of the problems you're going through, I'd suggest that cutting your hours down would be a great idea. My old job had us working sometimes 55-60 hours per week, but they only paid us a salary based on 42. This used to really get me down. I changed job and it's probably the best thing I've ever done for both my mental and physical health. My old boss went off sick for months because of stress and depression, thankfully he's also now left. I can understand that a lot of people don't have the same opportunities, but try and do whatever you can to cut down on hours if you feel it's too much and other parts of your life are worse off for it.

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Originally Posted by #FromTheCapital

Although I can't identify with all of the problems you're going through, I'd suggest that cutting your hours down would be a great idea. My old job had us working sometimes 55-60 hours per week, but they only paid us a salary based on 42. This used to really get me down. I changed job and it's probably the best thing I've ever done for both my mental and physical health. My old boss went off sick for months because of stress and depression, thankfully he's also now left. I can understand that a lot of people don't have the same opportunities, but try and do whatever you can to cut down on hours if you feel it's too much and other parts of your life are worse off for it.

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My problem with cutting down my hours is that I will earn less money. I'm self employed as a taxi driver and I bought my own cab 4 years ago. I've been working long hours for the 4 years to pay for the finance that I took out. I'm not working to have extra money, it's just to cover the bills. I've got less than a year to go before the finance is all paid off and I'll be cutting my hours down dramatically when that happens, I'm looking at ways I can change things around a bit in the mean time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for the advice mate, I'm going to sit down over the next few days and work out a way to cut down the amount of hours I work. I also work nights which is part of the problem, so I'm going to try and address that as well.

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I did your job for four years, and was severely depressed as a result. It's lonely and it cuts down your opportunities to mix with other people. You almost feel like your watching the rest of the world go about its business, but you're never part of it.

Switching to days made a big difference, and not much less money either. The main thing was having a "normal" start time, and also I felt less a creature of the night.

Worth thinking about ways you can change it. Maybe a share that involves one week nights, one week days?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

I did your job for four years, and was severely depressed as a result. It's lonely and it cuts down your opportunities to mix with other people. You almost feel like your watching the rest of the world go about its business, but you're never part of it.

Switching to days made a big difference, and not much less money either. The main thing was having a "normal" start time, and also I felt less a creature of the night.

Worth thinking about ways you can change it. Maybe a share that involves one week nights, one week days?

---

You're absolutely spot on about working nights. I'm looking at doing 4 days on then 4 days off, it'll mean working long hours for 4 days but then I will have 4 days off to spend at home doing normal family things.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

You're absolutely spot on about working nights. I'm looking at doing 4 days on then 4 days off, it'll mean working long hours for 4 days but then I will have 4 days off to spend at home doing normal family things.

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Work life balance is so important. Particularly when you're isolated in your working life.

I have a question regarding personality disorders. I have been diagnosed with one myself but I read under the mental health act (I think it was) that they are considered "untreatable". Does anyone know if this is true? Does it mean we can't get sectioned?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

I have a question regarding personality disorders. I have been diagnosed with one myself but I read under the mental health act (I think it was) that they are considered "untreatable". Does anyone know if this is true? Does it mean we can't get sectioned?

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There was a thread about this last year, but I can't find it.

Anyway, here's the criteria for detention.

Criteria for issuing a short-term detention certificate

Criteria for a short-term detention certificate are:

• the patient is likely to have a mental disorder
• the patient is likely to have significantly impaired decision-making ability with respect to medical treatment for mental disorder, as a result of his or her mental disorder
• it is likely that detention in hospital is necessary to determine what medical treatment is required or to provide that treatment
• it is likely that significant risk exists to the health, safety and welfare of the patient or to the safety of others if the patient is not detained
• it is likely that granting of a short-term detention certificate is necessary, for example because a patient is refusing to accept treatment on a voluntary basis.

PDs are responsible for their actions and it is not a defence in court. It's therefore a contentious matter as to whether the person is mentally ill. Most doctors won't admit you if it is clear that you are aware of what you have been doing and the consequences of those actions.

Likewise if you are voicing suicidal ideation and are deemed to have control over your actions, and are fully aware of the implications of your actions, then you will also be discharged. It's your life and no one has the right to stop you living it and ending it on your terms.

• it is likely that detention in hospital is necessary to determine what medical treatment is required or to provide that treatment

PDs may be detained if they are exhibiting signs of mental illness (many of them are skilled at affecting these traits). However, if after assessment, there is no sign of mental illness they will either be discharged, or invited to stay informally. If there admission to hospital has a forensic connection - ie a criminal act has been perpetrated, then they will be discharged and the police may or may not be informed.

The only real way a PD can "cure" themselves is to learn the lessons of life. They are lucky enough to have control over what they are doing, unlike people with "genuine" mental illness. Unfortunately many of them have had horrendous experiences in the past, and have come to the false conclusion that exhibiting deviant behaviour is the answer to their problems.

If you want to know more, ask the person who diagnosed you. You seem to be having a frustrating search for answers on here as you (or somebody like you) raises this subject from time to time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

There was a thread about this last year, but I can't find it.

Anyway, here's the criteria for detention.

Criteria for issuing a short-term detention certificate

Criteria for a short-term detention certificate are:

• the patient is likely to have a mental disorder
• the patient is likely to have significantly impaired decision-making ability with respect to medical treatment for mental disorder, as a result of his or her mental disorder
• it is likely that detention in hospital is necessary to determine what medical treatment is required or to provide that treatment
• it is likely that significant risk exists to the health, safety and welfare of the patient or to the safety of others if the patient is not detained
• it is likely that granting of a short-term detention certificate is necessary, for example because a patient is refusing to accept treatment on a voluntary basis.

PDs are responsible for their actions and it is not a defence in court. It's therefore a contentious matter as to whether the person is mentally ill. Most doctors won't admit you if it is clear that you are aware of what you have been doing and the consequences of those actions.

Likewise if you are voicing suicidal ideation and are deemed to have control over your actions, and are fully aware of the implications of your actions, then you will also be discharged. It's your life and no one has the right to stop you living it and ending it on your terms.

• it is likely that detention in hospital is necessary to determine what medical treatment is required or to provide that treatment

PDs may be detained if they are exhibiting signs of mental illness (many of them are skilled at affecting these traits). However, if after assessment, there is no sign of mental illness they will either be discharged, or invited to stay informally. If there admission to hospital has a forensic connection - ie a criminal act has been perpetrated, then they will be discharged and the police may or may not be informed.

The only real way a PD can "cure" themselves is to learn the lessons of life. They are lucky enough to have control over what they are doing, unlike people with "genuine" mental illness. Unfortunately many of them have had horrendous experiences in the past, and have come to the false conclusion that exhibiting deviant behaviour is the answer to their problems.

If you want to know more, ask the person who diagnosed you. You seem to be having a frustrating search for answers on here as you (or somebody like you) raises this subject from time to time.

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:aok: thanks great post, I read that the DSM IV deems BPD as a mental illness but wasn't sure. Thanks for your help :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

I did your job for four years, and was severely depressed as a result. It's lonely and it cuts down your opportunities to mix with other people. You almost feel like your watching the rest of the world go about its business, but you're never part of it.

Switching to days made a big difference, and not much less money either. The main thing was having a "normal" start time, and also I felt less a creature of the night.

---

I love the job for the very reasons that you hated it. I'm extremely happy in my own company and prefer a working environment in which I'm completely in control of and if the truth be told I don't think I could answer to anyone again. The family life is actually better working nights than it is days....ok, I'm out of kilter for a while but when I analyse the hours I do then I'm better off than a lot of 6am-6pm guys who hardly see their kids.

I used to laugh at the guys who broke off for and hour and headed to the cannonmills garage or the back of the tron rank for a blether with their comrades. It's not for me but maybe there's something in what they do that keeps them happy with their lot.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by peter douglas

I love the job for the very reasons that you hated it. I'm extremely happy in my own company and prefer a working environment in which I'm completely in control of and if the truth be told I don't think I could answer to anyone again. The family life is actually better working nights than it is days....ok, I'm out of kilter for a while but when I analyse the hours I do then I'm better off than a lot of 6am-6pm guys who hardly see their kids.

I used to laugh at the guys who broke off for and hour and headed to the cannonmills garage or the back of the tron rank for a blether with their comrades. It's not for me but maybe there's something in what they do that keeps them happy with their lot.

---

I was single at the time, and going home to an empty house. The pub became too much of a refuge, and I was drinking too much. I sailed into a perfect storm for depression. Have to say I was happy in my last year, or so, doing day shift. I used to enjoy talking to other guys on the Jenner's rank on a Saturday - mind you I was starting to feel the benefits of anti depressants by then.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

:aok: thanks great post, I read that the DSM IV deems BPD as a mental illness but wasn't sure. Thanks for your help :)

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DSMIV invents new mental illness every time it comes out - it's utter crap and is just a manual to permit physicians to prescribe drugs.

The fact is, under the law, you have to be deemed incapable of controlling your actions before you are deemed mentally ill.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

DSMIV invents new mental illness every time it comes out - it's utter crap and is just a manual to permit physicians to prescribe drugs.

The fact is, under the law, you have to be deemed incapable of controlling your actions before you are deemed mentally ill.

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Ok, really excellent stuff mate learning a lot here thank you!

On the subject, my Blog is now a Mental Health one which details some of my experiences with medication, therapy and self harm. Some may find it useful.

Talking of blogs, here is the transcript of a talk I gave last week at a seminar:-

Attachment 13837

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Talking of blogs, here is the transcript of a talk I gave last week at a seminar:-

Attachment 13837

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Excellent article CWG ..thanks for sharing, many of those things I can relate to ..:agree:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

On the subject, my Blog is now a Mental Health one which details some of my experiences with medication, therapy and self harm. Some may find it useful.

---

I've read your blog, I'd advise others to avoid it. Basically, the only thing I can urge you to do is take responsibility for your own life, and stop laying things like that onto other people. Many who come onto this thread will be vulnerable, and have a right to be protected from your threats.

I wondered why it was that you didn't have the IT skills to Google information about being sectioned, yet you have the skills to write a blog. I don't now.

It's not a judgement but IMO this is not the place for you to be sharing, or hinting at, your thoughts about self deliverance. The majority of people who come on here are not skilled at dealing with people like you, and would very likely become alarmed by it.

I'm not an admin here, but I've shared my concerns about you with them. Hope you appreciate this is for your own good, but more importantly when you start musing on things like that in public then other people need protected to.

You have a choice what you right. They have no choice over whether they read it if they follow your links. There are other forums which, I'm sure, are more appropriate.

The blog has been taken down. The above poster has had a problem with me for a while now and I'm not wanting to go into why. Part of the reason I posted about my blog was because I want to see a great change in the way the NHS in Scotland treats people with mental illness.

My blog has many followers from England and America in particular who take some great strength from it but I'll take it down from this site.

It certainly wasn't my intention to upset, or encourage anyone to do something harmful.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

The blog has been taken down. The above poster has had a problem with me for a while now and I'm not wanting to go into why. Part of the reason I posted about my blog was because I want to see a great change in the way the NHS in Scotland treats people with mental illness.

My blog has many followers from England and America in particular who take some great strength from it but I'll take it down from this site.

It certainly wasn't my intention to upset, or encourage anyone to do something harmful.

---

Well you did cause upset, and IMO it was potentially harmful as well. You can help yourself immensly by accepting that and considering the feelings of others when you link them to external sites.

I don't have a problem with you, and you have never mentioned this before. In fact, about four posts back when I was helping you out with your queries about the Mental Health Act, you said thanks. Yet when I challenge you about something I consider inappropriate like your blog, all of a sudden I am on your back. What does that tell us about Borderline Personality Disorder?

As I said in the PM posting hints about the date you are thinking of killing yourself is going to be upsetting for other people. That's the first thing that people would have seen when arriving at the blog. A whole page focussed on you.

I work in mental health, and i found it disturbing. Goodness knows what somebody with no real knowledge of how to deal with suicide or parasuicide would react. You really need to consider that before sharing your feelings with others.

If you are struggling with your condition as much as you suggest you are, do you really think you are the best person to be offering help to others at the moment?

Anybody who has thoughts of self harm, might find the following sites useful:

http://breathingspace.scot/?gclid=CI...FUGx2wod8SgAjA

http://www.samh.org.uk/

Guys, we really need to try keep this thread on topic, suicidal thoughts are part & parcel of low mood/depression & folk should be encouraged, should they wish, to express their feelings. However, we could really do without it being placed on a public forum or in links to blogs. It doesn't sit well with me & I know others feel the same. I feel as folk have trusted others by sharing their experiences of mental health issues on here we should respect those of whom have had had the courage to share them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by happyhibbie

Guys, we really need to try keep this thread on topic, suicidal thoughts are part & parcel of low mood/depression & folk should be encouraged, should they wish, to express their feelings. However, we could really do without it being placed on a public forum or in links to blogs. It doesn't sit well with me & I know others feel the same. I feel as folk have trusted others by sharing their experiences of mental health issues on here we should respect those of whom have had had the courage to share them.

---

Would there be any mileage in putting up a sticky with emergency contact numbers for people experiencing overwhelming thoughts? I think it would be helpful if people were directed to dedicated, professionally run resources.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

Would there be any mileage in putting up a sticky with emergency contact numbers for people experiencing overwhelming thoughts? I think it would be helpful if people were directed to dedicated, professionally run resources.

---

No, we are a football forum mate, first & foremost ..this thread in particular is in a sub forum where people can share their experiences with others of whom have had similar ...as harsh as it may sound, we are not the Samaritans & therefore we shouldn't be putting sticky threads up.

However I dont have an issue if folk link in threads.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by happyhibbie

No, we are a football forum mate, first & foremost ..this thread in particular is in a sub forum where people can share their experiences with others of whom have had similar ...as harsh as it may sound, we are not the Samaritans & therefore we shouldn't be putting sticky threads up.

However I dont have an issue if folk link in threads.

---

No problem.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

Well you did cause upset, and IMO it was potentially harmful as well. You can help yourself immensly by accepting that and considering the feelings of others when you link them to external sites.

I don't have a problem with you, and you have never mentioned this before. In fact, about four posts back when I was helping you out with your queries about the Mental Health Act, you said thanks. Yet when I challenge you about something I consider inappropriate like your blog, all of a sudden I am on your back. What does that tell us about Borderline Personality Disorder?

As I said in the PM posting hints about the date you are thinking of killing yourself is going to be upsetting for other people. That's the first thing that people would have seen when arriving at the blog. A whole page focussed on you.

I work in mental health, and i found it disturbing. Goodness knows what somebody with no real knowledge of how to deal with suicide or parasuicide would react. You really need to consider that before sharing your feelings with others.

If you are struggling with your condition as much as you suggest you are, do you really think you are the best person to be offering help to others at the moment?

Anybody who has thoughts of self harm, might find the following sites useful:

http://breathingspace.scot/?gclid=CI...FUGx2wod8SgAjA

http://www.samh.org.uk/

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by happyhibbie

Guys, we really need to try keep this thread on topic, suicidal thoughts are part & parcel of low mood/depression & folk should be encouraged, should they wish, to express their feelings. However, we could really do without it being placed on a public forum or in links to blogs. It doesn't sit well with me & I know others feel the same. I feel as folk have trusted others by sharing their experiences of mental health issues on here we should respect those of whom have had had the courage to share them.

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Indeed (both posts). It's obviously a complicated issue for me with my own recent experience dealing with the fallout of the suicide of my partner but it is certainly not an issue to be trifled with or bandied around. Talk about it by all means, that is to be encouraged but it has to be done with extreme responsibility and a consideration as to how that dialogue may affect others.

There are no certainties around this subject and as I say, the effects of it's tentacles can be incredibly far-reaching and complex, almost beyond understanding. I have come to realise that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

Indeed (both posts). It's obviously a complicated issue for me with my own recent experience dealing with the fallout of the suicide of my partner but it is certainly not an issue to be trifled with or bandied around. Talk about it by all means, that is to be encouraged but it has to be done with extreme responsibly and a consideration as to how that dialogue may affect others.

There are no certainties around this subject and as I say, the effects of it's tentacles can be incredibly far-reaching and complex, almost beyond understanding. I have come to understand that.

---

Absolutley Stu ..yourself most recently lost a loved one, as much as she shared with yourself & others there was something else eating away inside. No-one will ever know what that was but she made a tragic & sad decision, a decision that would impact on you & her family for the rest of your lives.

My Uncle done the same, a few days before Christmas. why ..?...no-one knows ..only he.

Some stuff posted on this forum is brilliant, to the extent it assures folk suffering from depression that they are not alone, everyone have shared their experiences & a few have offered support, be it via private mail or via links. However, to give a link, time & date of your intended "departure" on this very forum has to be discouraged. We can offer advice, openly. but we cant cure.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by happyhibbie

Absolutley Stu ..yourself most recently lost a loved one, as much as she shared with yourself & others there was something else eating away inside. No-one will ever know what that was but she made a tragic & sad decision, a decision that would impact on you & her family for the rest of your lives.

My Uncle done the same, a few days before Christmas. why ..?...no-one knows ..only he.

Some stuff posted on this forum is brilliant, to the extent it assures folk suffering from depression that they are not alone, everyone have shared their experiences & a few have offered support, be it via private mail or via links. However, to give a link, time & date of your intended "departure" on this very forum has to be discouraged. We can offer advice, openly. but we cant cure.

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Would echo what you say in reference to this thread, K. A football forum generally speaking but this long running discussion is, dare I say, the most important one that has ever appeared on hibs.net. Along the way it may keep one or two people alive and considering the impact that decision has on others also, there can be nothing more vital or relevant.

The impact I can only describe as permanent scarring on one's life. One can find a way to live with it, one indeed must, but it is something irretrievable that will never 'go away' ultimately. I could perhaps write a small book on it at this stage.

Anything that can avert that from happening to others, such as the frank and meaningful discussion and exchange of information and views as on the majority of this thread I would heartily commend so well done all.

Thanks for the input Stu and HH.

My concerns on the subject stem from an incident on here earlier this year. I got a PM from another poster expressing concern over someone on here's mental state.

I got the impression that person had been threatening suicide, and that the person who'd written to me was frantic with worry. It raised the question about how to deal with the situation.

The fact that we know nothing about each other is a double edged sword. It helps us to be more open about things we'd otherwise be shy about talking about.

On the other hand, when we get situations where someone hints at specific plans, it leaves us in a vulnerable position. We can't do anything to help like get in touch with their GPS, or the local police - yet find ourselves worrying about what will happen.

To an extent, we have to have some boundaries - because the message board is not set up as a suicide prevention site. Obviously it's a very grey area, but the general advice I'd give people is not to get too involved in other peoples problems.

Sadly there are people who will exploit general chat to focus the discussion on themselves and their issues. Such people are capable of using the threat of suicide to draw others into their control and to try and help them sort their issues.

Moderators of self help groups often struggle to maintain the balance between allowing people to share their problems, and preventing them dominating the discussion.

For that reason, I'd urge anybody with concerns about suicide to direct the individual to appropriate places like NHS24, SAMH, and Breathing Space, and leave it there. If they continue to pester you make it clear that you are not responsible for what happens to them.

I think it would also be good etiquette for people to consider the impact of what you they need to discuss, and whether this is the best site to discuss it.

I always find this thread touching, and envigorating, as HH says though first and foremost its a football forum, and there has to be a limit to how far things can go. I suppose a comparable topic might be a thread about our sex lives - being British we seem to be far better at setting appropriate boundaries on that subject.

The last thing I want to do is to discourage people from talking about Depression. I just think we have to be careful how far we take it.

I just wanted to take the time to post an apology on this thread. I've been very selfish in some of my posts and I certainly didn't intend to upset anyone. I'm going through it very badly just now but not only must I think of others feelings, I must also respect that this is at the end of the day a football forum. I sincerely apologise to those offended and to the user who I insulted, I was completely out of order.

<3Mozza

Quote:

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

I just wanted to take the time to post an apology on this thread. I've been very selfish in some of my posts and I certainly didn't intend to upset anyone. I'm going through it very badly just now but not only must I think of others feelings, I must also respect that this is at the end of the day a football forum. I sincerely apologise to those offended and to the user who I insulted, I was completely out of order.

<3Mozza

---

Hope things are ok with you and you have some support available to you

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

I just wanted to take the time to post an apology on this thread. I've been very selfish in some of my posts and I certainly didn't intend to upset anyone. I'm going through it very badly just now but not only must I think of others feelings, I must also respect that this is at the end of the day a football forum. I sincerely apologise to those offended and to the user who I insulted, I was completely out of order.

<3Mozza

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Good on you mate... If you feel you've offended anyone, although I don't think you have, then it takes bollocks to apologise. As someone else posted, this time of year is weird. Certainly for me. From Halloween onwards my mental state and emotions take a battering. Bipolar is a bitch!! I can feel on top of the world one minute then WALLOP!! That brutal feeling in my stomach hits me and I just want to lock myself away from everyone until it passes. However, I have learned over time that's the worst thing I can do. I try like **** to stick to my wee plan as I have complete faith that it works, for me that is. I also have a wife who helps me so much. When I'm getting too high she lets me know, but she also helps me with the lows.... We all need help with this and for me that's the key. It's not sympathy or feeling sorry for me as that can make people feel like a victim. It's an understanding of my mental health. I know I have to live with this for the rest of my days and accept it. I've stopped asking myself "why me?" Is it hard to put these things in place to get through each day? Truthfully yeah. Is it worth it?? Absolutely. Take care pal..... :aok:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mikey09

Good on you mate... If you feel you've offended anyone, although I don't think you have, then it takes bollocks to apologise. As someone else posted, this time of year is weird. Certainly for me. From Halloween onwards my mental state and emotions take a battering. Bipolar is a bitch!! I can feel on top of the world one minute then WALLOP!! That brutal feeling in my stomach hits me and I just want to lock myself away from everyone until it passes. However, I have learned over time that's the worst thing I can do. I try like **** to stick to my wee plan as I have complete faith that it works, for me that is. I also have a wife who helps me so much. When I'm getting too high she lets me know, but she also helps me with the lows.... We all need help with this and for me that's the key. It's not sympathy or feeling sorry for me as that can make people feel like a victim. It's an understanding of my mental health. I know I have to live with this for the rest of my days and accept it. I've stopped asking myself "why me?" Is it hard to put these things in place to get through each day? Truthfully yeah. Is it worth it?? Absolutely. Take care pal..... :aok:

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Thank you both, much appreciated. Went out for the first time in a good while last night and made of new friends so hopefully the confidence is building up again.

Its a hard time of year for a lot of people. I thought this excellent thread deserves a bump.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hibsbollah

Its a hard time of year for a lot of people. I thought this excellent thread deserves a bump.

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Best piece of advice I can give anyone struggling with their mental health at Christmas is don't get caught up in the hype of having to have the 'perfect Christmas'. If you had flu or broke you arm you wouldn't give a second thought to having a quieter Christmas so why should a mental health issue be different?

I've been lucky in that I've had the best part of 2 years of feeling good but I still find Christmas a bit overwhelming at times. I always try to find 15 minutes here and there just to gather my thoughts and get away from all the colour, noise etc.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

Best piece of advice I can give anyone struggling with their mental health at Christmas is don't get caught up in the hype of having to have the 'perfect Christmas'. If you had flu or broke you arm you wouldn't give a second thought to having a quieter Christmas so why should a mental health issue be different?

I've been lucky in that I've had the best part of 2 years of feeling good but I still find Christmas a bit overwhelming at times. I always try to find 15 minutes here and there just to gather my thoughts and get away from all the colour, noise etc.

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Yep, the pressure is ridiculous sometimes. It's one of my pet theories that "advertising land" is a major contributor to depression. In that mythical country, everything is perfect, as long as you shop at Sainsbury's, buy a Dyson, eat Ferrero Rocher and give your cat Whiskas.

Add to that the assumption that "everyone else is having a better time than me", and it's easy to see why it can feel *****.

Gathering your thoughts.... yep, I'd go for that. I practice meditation. It doesn't solve life's problems, but it sure as hell gives me a better balance to deal with them.

Oh, and Happy Solstice everyone...the light is on its way back :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

Best piece of advice I can give anyone struggling with their mental health at Christmas is don't get caught up in the hype of having to have the 'perfect Christmas'. If you had flu or broke you arm you wouldn't give a second thought to having a quieter Christmas so why should a mental health issue be different?

I've been lucky in that I've had the best part of 2 years of feeling good but I still find Christmas a bit overwhelming at times. I always try to find 15 minutes here and there just to gather my thoughts and get away from all the colour, noise etc.

---

A weird thing for me is ive had a tough December and been counting the days for a long holiday with my family round me and more time spent in the house. Two days in and im missing the structure of work and feeling like im cooped up!

Peculiar.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hibsbollah

A weird thing for me is ive had a tough December and been counting the days for a long holiday with my family round me and more time spent in the house. Two days in and im missing the structure of work and feeling like im cooped up!

Peculiar.

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... and the minute you get back to work, you'll wish you were off again :greengrin

It's a familiar thing, that we want what we don't have. As if "that" will provide happiness.

The ability to be content with what we have is a very difficult thing to develop..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

Best piece of advice I can give anyone struggling with their mental health at Christmas is don't get caught up in the hype of having to have the 'perfect Christmas'. If you had flu or broke you arm you wouldn't give a second thought to having a quieter Christmas so why should a mental health issue be different?

I've been lucky in that I've had the best part of 2 years of feeling good but I still find Christmas a bit overwhelming at times. I always try to find 15 minutes here and there just to gather my thoughts and get away from all the colour, noise etc.

---

The problem with that is that with a broken arm its a visible problem that others can see and cut you some slack. I'm finding it pretty difficult to get into the Christmas spirit, but I've not finished up for the holidays yet. I know I will be fine as seeing my daughter so excited and being part of that will be the best pick me up I could ask for.

This time of year can provide a lot of difficulties. I read a Tweet with four simple helpful points yesterday and agreed with it. It was aimed at suicide survivors but I think it's good general advice, especially for those with depression and other mental health issues:

Don't take too much on.

Avoid being overwhelmed.

Limit your activities to those which you are interested in and able to do.

It is okay to say no.

Personally, i couldn't stomach the thought of Christmas and New Year this year. I've lost too much and my life has been stood on it's head and I don't care to celebrate. Maybe that will come back one day. It's only when you're practising avoidance of it that you realise the subtle and continual pressures to join in, especially commercial ones. For some reason one of the worst things for me was trying to do my weekly grocery shop in Sainsbury's and having to listen to insistent piped Christmas songs. I really couldn't wait to get out of the bloody place to be honest as it was making me perfectly miserable and acutely reminding me of my loss. I finished my shopping yesterday and won't be back until the New Year. It's all a bit cynical when you think about how many people have a rough time in the festive season.

I've perhaps surprised a couple of people by declining to meet and do the Christmas thing. I've no wish to upset anyone and in some ways its a hard thing to do but I have no regrets. At a very testing time I'm going to do everything in my power to protect myself. I am going to suggest to others that they look after themselves as much as possible in the same way.

Good luck and peace to all.

If anyone could let Phil D. Rolls know of my sincere apology of selfishness and manipulation I would appreciate it, I think I'm (quite rightly) on his ignore list.

<3Mozza

This is a horrible time of the year at the best of times for both my family and in-laws but this year has an added dimension of problem to it.

A few years ago, we lost one of my grandparents on Christmas Eve - turns out that Christmas Eve is also one of my parents birthdays and it was their mum who died that day. Fast forward a couple of years more and my father in law lost his dad at the onset of December, also on his birthday...

At a time of year that's fraught with reminders of who isn't there, particularly on sentimental days such as birthday's, it's tough. Add into that, one of my immediate family has recently started counselling as they feel absolutely overwhelmed and feel totally down, withdrawn and quiet, speaking openly (which is a positive in its own right) about racing, cycling thoughts and a total lack of feeling. Spending time with said family member for the first time in a long while has been a bit of a haunting experience since coming back home for Christmas, particularly given my own personal battle with anxiety! One aspect of my own struggles I thought I had left behind was a prevalence of health related anxiety. However, the past few days I've had a pressure around my head, headache, relentless twitching in various parts of my body and a general sensation of imbalance and unsteadiness and my mind has been racing to some very dark places as to what it could be...

I like to think of myself as an intelligent, well-educated guy who 'should know better' but health anxiety is such an irrational and powerful problem that amplifies itself over time.

I often feel a bit overwhelmed reading this thread, feeling that my own battle is totally inconsequential to some of the particularly darkened **** that some of you deal with on a daily basis but I've been struggling a wee bit lately and being surrounded by a somewhat dark aura lately prompted me to post!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

This time of year can provide a lot of difficulties. I read a Tweet with four simple helpful points yesterday and agreed with it. It was aimed at suicide survivors but I think it's good general advice, especially for those with depression and other mental health issues:

Don't take too much on.

Avoid being overwhelmed.

Limit your activities to those which you are interested in and able to do.

It is okay to say no.

Personally, i couldn't stomach the thought of Christmas and New Year this year. I've lost too much and my life has been stood on it's head and I don't care to celebrate. Maybe that will come back one day. It's only when you're practising avoidance of it that you realise the subtle and continual pressures to join in, especially commercial ones. For some reason one of the worst things for me was trying to do my weekly grocery shop in Sainsbury's and having to listen to insistent piped Christmas songs. I really couldn't wait to get out of the bloody place to be honest as it was making me perfectly miserable and acutely reminding me of my loss. I finished my shopping yesterday and won't be back until the New Year. It's all a bit cynical when you think about how many people have a rough time in the festive season.

I've perhaps surprised a couple of people by declining to meet and do the Christmas thing. I've no wish to upset anyone and in some ways its a hard thing to do but I have no regrets. At a very testing time I'm going to do everything in my power to protect myself. I am going to suggest to others that they look after themselves as much as possible in the same way.

Good luck and peace to all.

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Jings Stu...don't know what to say other than you're in my thoughts. And it's useful to be reminded at this time of the year that it brings difficulty to many. Best wishes to you and Sue's son and daughter at what must be a most difficult time. Best wishes to others on this thread too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by s.a.m

Jings Stu...don't know what to say other than you're in my thoughts. And it's useful to be reminded at this time of the year that it brings difficulty to many. Best wishes to you and Sue's son and daughter at what must be a most difficult time. Best wishes to others on this thread too.

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Cheers S.A.M and thanks for the kind thoughts. I just wanted to come on here and add my support of others because it's important to know others are going through this stuff as well. As others have alluded to, I want to reiterate the message that 'keeping up appearances' for Christmas when you're having a bad time is not a necessity nor obligatory. I keenly feel the real significance of Christmas being a Catholic with a faith but even having said that I want to maintain the message that it's just another day on the calendar and it's important to protect oneself from the difficult feelings that wash over you at this time. Sometimes it a 'learn as you go' as it appears to be with me right now.

Keep surviving. When you're on your knees, get up again and proceed slowly and with care. We are charged with looking after ourselves. That is the important thing even at this special time of year.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sylar

I often feel a bit overwhelmed reading this thread, feeling that my own battle is totally inconsequential to some of the particularly darkened **** that some of you deal with on a daily basis but I've been struggling a wee bit lately and being surrounded by a somewhat dark aura lately prompted me to post!

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Don't feel overwhelmed, Sylar. Your own issues with this time are as valid anyone else's on here. Keep contributing because we can all learn from each other here. Good luck and peace to you.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

My problem with cutting down my hours is that I will earn less money. I'm self employed as a taxi driver and I bought my own cab 4 years ago. I've been working long hours for the 4 years to pay for the finance that I took out. I'm not working to have extra money, it's just to cover the bills. I've got less than a year to go before the finance is all paid off and I'll be cutting my hours down dramatically when that happens, I'm looking at ways I can change things around a bit in the mean time.

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I don't know your full situation but buying a cab or cab/plate is one hell of a pressure.

Every night you are basically going into an uncertain workplace with "earn £X, or else" in your head from the very start and you can only relax when you have achieved that target. Relax until the next shift that is.

Seven or even six nights constantly working with that nagging pressure isn't healthy. You have to have some sort of release.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by peter douglas

I don't know your full situation but buying a cab or cab/plate is one hell of a pressure.

Every night you are basically going into an uncertain workplace with "earn £X, or else" in your head from the very start and you can only relax when you have achieved that target. Relax until the next shift that is.

Seven or even six nights constantly working with that nagging pressure isn't healthy. You have to have some sort of release.

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That's pretty much how it's been for 4 years now and I've got to the stage were I can't do it anymore. I'm actually going to sell my position with City and just work the street(hopefully with the airport permit) that will give me a little breathing space, I'll also just work the cab myself which will mean I can pick and choose my hours a bit more.
Reading this thread is also really helpful, it's quite inspiring reading how others are coping with situations which are probably much worse than mine.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hibsbollah

A weird thing for me is ive had a tough December and been counting the days for a long holiday with my family round me and more time spent in the house. Two days in and im missing the structure of work and feeling like im cooped up!

Peculiar.

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I often get like that. I think its the routine change that does it for me. The best thing to do for me is get out of the house and do as much as possible. I'm actually going to get a dog, it will give me a reason to get outdoors more, and they're always happy to see you when you come home( unlike her indoors :greengrin)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

I often get like that. I think its the routine change that does it for me. The best thing to do for me is get out of the house and do as much as possible. I'm actually going to get a dog, it will give me a reason to get outdoors more, and they're always happy to see you when you come home( unlike her indoors :greengrin)

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Agreed. :agree: Blowing away the cobwebs outside is a good thing (as long as it doesn't incorporate Christmas shopping arghhh). I enjoy running which is great if you have that restless feeling. But I think a lot of people get a dog for the same reasons as you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hibsbollah

Agreed. :agree: Blowing away the cobwebs outside is a good thing (as long as it doesn't incorporate Christmas shopping arghhh). I enjoy running which is great if you have that restless feeling. But I think a lot of people get a dog for the same reasons as you.

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I'm just off to do the last of my Christmas shopping, I've been putting it off for long enough and I'm running out of time :greengrin

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HibeeN

I've posted on this thread before but not in a while, just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

When I was in my mid/late teens I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety. I have been feeling absolutely great for the past few years however, met a great group of friends, was enjoying life more than I ever had. Then a few months ago it all came back and now it feels worse than it ever has before. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but it started around the same time I started my new job. The thing is it is a job I studied for and worked hard for but now that I've got it I think I've realised it's not what I want at all, and I hate what I am doing. Every day I dread going in and I lie awake thinking about it at night. There's been occasions when I've been in and out of the office on jobs during the day and I've burst into tears in my car. I know the "easy" solution is to leave, but I just feel like such a failure as I thought this was what I was going to do and now I know I don't want to or can't and I have no idea what else I am going to do instead. I find my thoughts going to dark places like hoping I'll be in a car crash rather than end up in the office.

The thing I also worry about is even if I do leave the job, what if it doesn't stop? What if it's not the job, but the way I am feeling is making it seem like it is?

I know there's no easy answer but just wanted to get some of that out there.

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Is there any possibility that you could take a bit of time off your work? Sometimes I find it easier to think about things when(even temporarily) I can get away from it all for a while. Even if you still decide the jobs not for you it might help you think of an alternative strategy that will make you happier. As for those darker thoughts you're having I also find myself thinking similar. I put it down to looking for a way out of whatever is making you feel the way you are, not necessarily that you wish you involved in a car crash.
It's really easy for others to say but it's so true, money isn't everything, being happy is much more important.
Good luck and remember it helps to talk about things, even if it's on this thread.

Thinking of many at this time of the year, I've sent a couple of PM's but I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

With thanks to a new GP and 150mg of Zoloft and 600mg of Seroquel I am truly on the road to recovery.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by <3Morrissey

Thinking of many at this time of the year, I've sent a couple of PM's but I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

With thanks to a new GP and 150mg of Zoloft and 600mg of Seroquel I am truly on the road to recovery.

---

Good lad.... Remember.. It's hard work for all us looney's to live day to day, but it's worth the effort... Stick in :aok:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HibeeN

I've posted on this thread before but not in a while, just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

When I was in my mid/late teens I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety. I have been feeling absolutely great for the past few years however, met a great group of friends, was enjoying life more than I ever had. Then a few months ago it all came back and now it feels worse than it ever has before. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but it started around the same time I started my new job. The thing is it is a job I studied for and worked hard for but now that I've got it I think I've realised it's not what I want at all, and I hate what I am doing. Every day I dread going in and I lie awake thinking about it at night. There's been occasions when I've been in and out of the office on jobs during the day and I've burst into tears in my car. I know the "easy" solution is to leave, but I just feel like such a failure as I thought this was what I was going to do and now I know I don't want to or can't and I have no idea what else I am going to do instead. I find my thoughts going to dark places like hoping I'll be in a car crash rather than end up in the office.

The thing I also worry about is even if I do leave the job, what if it doesn't stop? What if it's not the job, but the way I am feeling is making it seem like it is?

I know there's no easy answer but just wanted to get some of that out there.

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Would you be able to take some time off or would you be willing to go and see your GP are would you rather not go down that root? When the mind travels to these dark places I think you must seek help. I hope you feel better and find the support you need. When I go back to the city where I studied I come back a wreck although I seem to enjoy it at the time, it's very odd.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HibeeN

Thanks to the people who replied. I've finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with my GP next Monday, so will see how that goes. I think a part of me has always been worried I won't be taken seriously, I don't really know what to expect.

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Well done you've taken the most important and hardest step.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HibeeN

Thanks to the people who replied. I've finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with my GP next Monday, so will see how that goes. I think a part of me has always been worried I won't be taken seriously, I don't really know what to expect.

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In my humble opinion be honest with your GP mate. Don't hold anything back however anxious or embarrassed you feel. Get all your cards on the table and take it from there. Reading your previous post you seem to know where the problem lies re what is making you feel like ****. You're only 24 and have years ahead of you. If your work is making you feel like this and making you have these awful thoughts then there are so many avenues and opportunities to re train for something else. Life's to short to be miserable in our work place. I was so unhappy in the Police so went back to what I did before.... Lifeguarding and teaching kids and adults to swim.... I'm on half the salary I was on as a cop but I'm a million times happier. Let us know how you get on.....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HibeeN

Thanks to the people who replied. I've finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with my GP next Monday, so will see how that goes. I think a part of me has always been worried I won't be taken seriously, I don't really know what to expect.

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I hope it goes okay, there is always that worry, especially among men. Good on you :aok:

I was clearing out my bookcase and came across a book by David D. Burns MD called "The Feeling Good Handbook" - it explains various self help techniques to overcome anxiety.

If anyone thinks they might find it helpful feel free to message me - I don't want anything for it, I was going to hand it into the Mental health charity shop anyway.

I posted in this thread a long while back about my anxiety. I had been suffering severe anxiety for 2 years with no positive end in site. I decided to try hypnotherapy and got in touch with a therapist. It's the best thing I could have done as far as I'm concerned.

Using EFT tapping therapy (Google it) she managed to lift me out of the darkest of places, I suffered 10+ panic/anxiety attacks relating to health every day. I couldn't sleep and my work suffered so much I was demoted from my position. She helped me " find my mojo" again.

Now a year later I've lost 2 stone, joined a gym and enrolled on the hibs ffit course. I still suffer little anxiety attacks, but have learned how to deal with them. I don't know if it's ok to post a contact number for the practitioner so if anyone wants to pm me I'll happily recommend it to them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sweep

I posted in this thread a long while back about my anxiety. I had been suffering severe anxiety for 2 years with no positive end in site. I decided to try hypnotherapy and got in touch with a therapist. It's the best thing I could have done as far as I'm concerned.

Using EFT tapping therapy (Google it) she managed to lift me out of the darkest of places, I suffered 10+ panic/anxiety attacks relating to health every day. I couldn't sleep and my work suffered so much I was demoted from my position. She helped me " find my mojo" again.

Now a year later I've lost 2 stone, joined a gym and enrolled on the hibs ffit course. I still suffer little anxiety attacks, but have learned how to deal with them. I don't know if it's ok to post a contact number for the practitioner so if anyone wants to pm me I'll happily recommend it to them.

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Good to hear that.

I dabbled with EFT some years ago. It had an immediate, but short term effect. In the longer term, it didn't work for me.

I know, though, that it has been successful in many ways for many people.

[emoji106]

One way I know I'm going down is when I start to post excessively on here, and get into arguments where I go OTT in criticising others.

Towards the end of last year, I picked up on the fact I felt constantly angry. Things didn't go too well over Christmas, but having lived with Depression long enough, I was able to spot that it was me that was the problem instead of everyone else. To be honest the thoughts I was having about other people were so off the mark, they were bordering on hallucinogenic.

Went to see my GP as soon as I could after new year. Held my hands up, and admitted I wasn't coping, and that I could sink further.

She gave me Paroxetine, and it is doing the job. I am seeing much more humour than I used to, and being more balanced when negative things happen.

The lessons are: never be frightened to admit when you are going backwards - Depression is always there, look for patterns in your behaviour that are repeating themselves; if you want to get better, medication can work for you; see your recovery as a set of waves breaking on the shore, each one goes forwards then back, but each one goes further forward and less back than the previous one did.

I've also been guilty of posting stupid comments and annoying others not only on here but in life as well. Having 4 "labels" is annoying and my GP says I should forget them, concentrate on what makes me happy... like watching the Hibees more recently.

One thing that does get me down is thinking of the amount of meds I've been on for a 23 year old, I'm terrified at the thought of coming off 600 mg of Seroquel.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phil D. Rolls

One way I know I'm going down is when I start to post excessively on here, and get into arguments where I go OTT in criticising others.

Towards the end of last year, I picked up on the fact I felt constantly angry. Things didn't go too well over Christmas, but having lived with Depression long enough, I was able to spot that it was me that was the problem instead of everyone else. To be honest the thoughts I was having about other people were so off the mark, they were bordering on hallucinogenic.

Went to see my GP as soon as I could after new year. Held my hands up, and admitted I wasn't coping, and that I could sink further.

She gave me Paroxetine, and it is doing the job. I am seeing much more humour than I used to, and being more balanced when negative things happen.

The lessons are: never be frightened to admit when you are going backwards - Depression is always there, look for patterns in your behaviour that are repeating themselves; if you want to get better, medication can work for you; see your recovery as a set of waves breaking on the shore, each one goes forwards then back, but each one goes further forward and less back than the previous one did.

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I've not posted on this thread before but you may have read my article on depression and football etc that I posted on the site previously.

Anyway I keep myself to myself a lot more than I have ever done. It's easier.

I note that you say "Depression is always there" how very true. It's like a constant drain on my life both physically and mentally.

I don't open up to many people, I do get angry though. Especially with my parents, I feel bad but other times I feel like they have done nothing to help me through this.

I am back at work after six months off but I am so tired and I honestly just want to cry all the time.

I feel so lonely yet I feel like I am becoming more of a loner, if you get what I mean?

It doesn't matter what I do, everything just feels so hard. One step forward, seven back and repeat.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by andrew70

I've not posted on this thread before but you may have read my article on depression and football etc that I posted on the site previously.

Anyway I keep myself to myself a lot more than I have ever done. It's easier.

I note that you say "Depression is always there" how very true. It's like a constant drain on my life both physically and mentally.

I don't open up to many people, I do get angry though. Especially with my parents, I feel bad but other times I feel like they have done nothing to help me through this.

I am back at work after six months off but I am so tired and I honestly just want to cry all the time.

I feel so lonely yet I feel like I am becoming more of a loner, if you get what I mean?

It doesn't matter what I do, everything just feels so hard. One step forward, seven back and repeat.

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This is what I used to do Andrew. Through years of going un diagnosed with bi polar disorder I would keep everything I was feeling to myself which in turn made what I highlighted become worse. It's a cycle I had to break. If there is someone you can talk to then please do so.... It gives you a sounding board to tell them how you feel and what you're going through. Even posting on this thread is a start. There will be a lot of people on here who have gone/going through the same thing so feel free to ask questions here. There are good people on this forum. Stick in pal....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mikey09

This is what I used to do Andrew. Through years of going un diagnosed with bi polar disorder I would keep everything I was feeling to myself which in turn made what I highlighted become worse. It's a cycle I had to break. If there is someone you can talk to then please do so.... It gives you a sounding board to tell them how you feel and what you're going through. Even posting on this thread is a start. There will be a lot of people on here who have gone/going through the same thing so feel free to ask questions here. There are good people on this forum. Stick in pal....

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It's the hopelessness I am really struggling with right now.

I got myself in to a position where I could get back to my work but after work I am always so tired even going to a game at the weekend is hard work.

I feel hopeless in the respect of no matter what I do nothing gets 'much better' I figure that coz of this I will never be happy.

I would give my left arm to lead a 'normal' life...hell I can't even remember the last time I smiled properly.

So I keep myself to myself to avoid bringing others down. I can't face going out for a pint, I don't want to have conversations about everyday life with my mates, people more often than not annoy me for no apparent reason.

It's a catch twenty-two situation, I feel like I will always be alone coz I have no confidence to go out and meet new people etc.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by andrew70

It's the hopelessness I am really struggling with right now.

I got myself in to a position where I could get back to my work but after work I am always so tired even going to a game at the weekend is hard work.

I feel hopeless in the respect of no matter what I do nothing gets 'much better' I figure that coz of this I will never be happy.

I would give my left arm to lead a 'normal' life...hell I can't even remember the last time I smiled properly.

So I keep myself to myself to avoid bringing others down. I can't face going out for a pint, I don't want to have conversations about everyday life with my mates, people more often than not annoy me for no apparent reason.

It's a catch twenty-two situation, I feel like I will always be alone coz I have no confidence to go out and meet new people etc.

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Do you do any physical exercise Andrew? I know it would be hard at first to start (if you don't already) but after a while I'm sure it would help your energy levels and to fight the lethargy and apathy that depression can cause.

I went through some difficult times in my late teens and into my early 20's and looking back it was my taking up an active job, playing 5 aside football again after years off and then eventually getting into snowboarding and travelling to do a couple of ski seasons that really turned things round.

Apologies if this is unhelpful or it something you've already tried. I remember how hard it could be to get up and get moving when feeling low but even getting out for a walk now and then can be beneficial. Good luck with it, I hope you find something soon that helps you start to feel better.