Someone will always be there, of that I am sure. Might not be instant, but someone will show, and want to listen, I am convinced of that.Quote:
Originally Posted by lord bunberry
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Someone will always be there, of that I am sure. Might not be instant, but someone will show, and want to listen, I am convinced of that.Quote:
Originally Posted by lord bunberry
I had wondered how people on here are faring at this time? Without turning this into a COVID-19 thread, it's been a difficult few days for many with a barrage of coverage about the pandemic and restrictions and quite a lot of confusion. With the attendant uncertainly potentially exacerbating anxiety.
Whilst tending to stay well-informed, I find limiting, to a degree, my intake of news and chat about it helpful.
I'm with you, but steering clear of the media is a discipline in itself that might be beyond us if we're feeling anxious.Quote:
Originally Posted by stu in nottingham
Limiting one's exposure to a few outlets and,dare I say it, threads like this, can be a good habit to have. Like all habits, the more one does it, the harder it is to break
This might sound stupid but Gold Radio is keeping my spirits high just now. 50's, 60's 70's and 80's music. Brilliant
Doesn't sound stupid at all, mate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermit Crab
Find what works for you, and keep doing it.
Cheers HC will give it a try, I use the Radio Garden app and just saved it as a favourite... I can lose hours trawling station across the globe on it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermit Crab
Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Alf
That's an amazing app. :agree: Gold Radio is digital only by the way. Will have it on during my nightshift tonight.
Music has a massive impact on my mood.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermit Crab
It needs to be loud, and I need to be on my own.
Honestly, if just breathes life into me.
When I feel my self slipping into a bit of a funk, that is normally one of the quickest and easiest ways to arrest the slide.
It’s something that hasn’t really happened for me for a while but discovering new music (not necessarily new, often it is old, but new to me) is one of the most uplifting things imaginable.
Glad to see a positive post mate, I was saddened (as everyone was) to hear you were having a tough time.
I agree with you, it's not easy. I find I tire and become overloaded with it at a certain point though. It's also easy to become angry about something here that we essentially only have so much control over. Thnking of one or two friends in that respect. I find it more helpful trying to focus a bit more on acceptance generally.Quote:
Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod
For access, well, popping on this thread here and there, a few headline stories on the BBC etc. maybe. Not so much social media which can be a bit exhausting.
Will give the app a try mate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Alf
Listening to music especially the older stuff makes me feel happy if I’m ever feeling down.
As HC and the guys have said, music really helps me as well, with Radio Garden I love scrolling the little globe and zooming into little local stations in Honolulu etc!Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveHFC
Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
Just started using this app again after reading fter reading about it here, it really is quite brilliant. Popped over to Cagliari and Napoli in Italy last night after a short round trip of a few thousand miles over to Vancouver and Edmonton CA.Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Alf
Music is such a powerful trigger. I am with those who like to more often listen to upbeat and uptempo music and finds this lifts me. Since losing my partner a few years ago I've been very careful about more emotional and plaintive songs. In those early dark days I'd have the radio on for company but immediately switch it off if any song triggered my grief. In exceptional circumstances I would still do the same should a tune start to make me too introspective or lower my mood.
That’s not stupid at all. For context, i rely heavily on my Xbox for keeping me level regularly, if i can lose myself in that for even half an houri find it much easier to let go of the things that are bothering me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermit Crab
Folk might think that’s ridiculous but it works for me so I’ll keep doing it.
The recommendation of Garden Radio here is inspiring, globetrotting and listening to different accents and styles.
Thanks to whoever mentioned it.
I thought this was an interesting read, timely too. Dealing with a long, dark winter by framing it in a Norwegian mindset.
https://amp.theguardian.com/science/...ke-a-norwegian
I need to get my **** together. I’ve had a week in Turkey and since then I’ve just drank more than I should and just existed. I need to knuckle down starting from today. First things first, I need a job and that’s no mean feat in this market.
If any of you guys know of anyone needing an all rounder let me know. 22 years spent across payroll, pensions, recruitment, the building trade and latterly the food industry. I haven’t got one defined skill/trade but I’m very well organised, excellent communication skills both written and verbally. Confident in front of others, very customer focused and a good character to have around.
There’s my pitch 😂
Not sure if it would suit but I know HMRC and Standard Life are both recruiting at the moment. Good luck if you do apply.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
I’ll get right in and about that this morning. Thanks for the heads up 👍🏻Quote:
Originally Posted by Since90+2
Quote:
Originally Posted by stu in nottingham
I enjoyed that. I felt myself feeling a bit down in the summer/autumn transitional months last year, so I will bear this in mind. Thanks for sharing.
lots of people do. The transition to autumn and the dark half of the year is always difficult and affects a lot of peopleQuote:
Originally Posted by Jones28
Yep definitely. I know I struggle badly with the reduction in daylight hours and I am affected by SAD syndrome. The added effects of the pandemic is heightening those feelings.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia
I honestly don't know how I would cope in somewhere like Tromso with not seeing any daylight at all for 2 months so fair play to those people who are able to see the positives.
I visited tromso for a couple of days around Christmas time a few years ago. The perennial darkness and gloom was strange, I just couldn’t get my head around itQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir David Gray
I love the transition into autumn. Crisp mornings, low sunshine and nice colours.
I despise winter with a passion though. The lack of daylight and the general gloom that pervades everywhere gets to me. No one seems happy in winter and that rubs off on me.
Just downloaded Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude; hoping that will give me an extra wee boost.
Has anyone tried plant medicine, such as Ayahuasca, or Ketamine to help with their issues?
I’ve been ito a few talks about current work being done and the success rate. I tried micro dosing lsd for a week but that was more to do with seeing if it would open things up to allow me to be more creative. Didn’t notice anything different. My friends involved in a psilocybin retreat i’d be interested in going to but with the current situation i can’t get to one (in holland)Quote:
Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod
Someone close to me is a shamanic healer, and is obviously a deep believer in plant medicine. I haven't felt "The call" yet, and not sure I will. Any curiosity I have is cancelled out by the fear of a bad experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dalianwanda
You'll know this, I'm sure, but there's a growing body of evidence to support the use of Ketamine in treating depression.
Society needs to have a grown-up conversation about these things, and their potential uses, without the emotional "drugs are bad" reaction kicking in.
Don't know if you've seen it, but there's a series on Netflix called Unwell, which looks at various aspects of "The Wellness Industry". The one on ayahuasca is fascinating, from a scientific and an anecdotal point of view.
There is lots of evidence coming out that different psychedelics can help with all kind of things like depression, anxiety,PTSD and believe it or not opioid addiction, nothing should be taboo in trying to help people out in my opinionQuote:
Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod
The talks a was at most recently was all about psychedelics and healing. It was interesting in terms of the success some drugs had in some areas. He specifically mentioned ketamine and the medication being tested. I went along completely naive thinking it was the stuff you’d get on the dark web not official medication for specific reasons :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod
I think your right to hold off...If it feels right you will know.
I tried DMT a few times last year which is closely related to ayahuasca. Not to get ‘mad out of it’ but just a genuine curiosity of how limited our experience is and what else is there. I held off for ages till i’d learnt enough about it to be comfortable with it. I meditate for 30mins or so and pick a nice place to do it and a friend to watch over me and me to watch them (it only lasts a 10mins or so) I found it amazing though i wouldn’t recommend to everyone. Powerful stuff in many ways.
I did watch that one but i might re watch as can’t really remember it. That tourist trap approach didn’t appeal although i’ve heard there’s a couple of underground practitioners in ireland.
Certainly anything done to aid depression, past trauma etc needs to be done with an expert watching over you and in the right conditions.
This was the retreat facilitator i was thinking of joining https://inwardbound.nl/
I went out for a drink tonight after work. After all that the last few months has thrown at us it's literally all myself and my colleagues could do to support the hospitality industry. At ten to 6 the owner or the bar we were in called time and made a short speech about how we will all meet again. He then asked the handful of remaining customers to acknowledge the table I was at.
I'm sure he meant well but it just hammered home how ****ing worthless I am. I went back to work however many months ago with the aim of returning as many of my colleagues to work as I could. Dress it up how you like but myself and the people I work with have failed in that goal. Not only are other people not going to go back to work but I'm getting thrown on the scrapheap as well.
I've always prided myself on doing the absolute minimum to contribute to society. Work, pay tax, look after my family and accept anything else life throws at me. Right now I feel totally worthless because the most basic of things has been robbed from me. Ultimately I have failed to provide for the people I care for most and I feel like they would all be better off without me.
You can't let that kinda thought start to sink in bud, I know it's easier said than done, there was absolutely nothing you could have done about this and it's totally out your hands, I don't have anything succinct or wise to say to you on the subject unfortunately but I'm sure your family appreciate all you have done for them and will continue to do in the future!Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
A friend of mine was recently made redundant and he used it as the push he had been needing to set out and work for himself as he'd been thinking about it for years, it's scary just now but I'm sure once things start to make a bit more sense that you will be flying in no time, try to keep the heid up
Don't feel like that mate. Its not a competition. Life is for all of us not just the so called 'providers'. We've been led to believe that capitalism is the be all and end all. Lets take a deep breath and reset our needs. Its not your fault or my fault or anybody's fault a horrible virus has occurred. Your family really really needs you to stay strong and adapt. We'll all get through it, no doubt about that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
PB. So sorry to hear that’s what you are going through...I realise it will feel really tough for you, but those colleagues and your loved ones will have deep respect for you - even if it doesn’t feel like that today...just take it one step at a time and you will grow out of this...loads of us here, who don’t even know you are right behind you...if you fancy a fitba chat, or just a blether, feel free to drop me a pm...one day at a time [emoji119]Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
You're not worthless. I've never met you but I believe that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
:top marksQuote:
Originally Posted by bigwheel
Its a time to get angry at the billionaires and other selfish free loading oligarchs who use up most of the resources on our planet. These self serving b stards are the reason we're in this quandary. Its time to get real and call for genuine change that benefits the folk at the sharp end. Lets achieve independence and look after the folk not the billionaire oligarchs like unionist jambo Anderson who throws the odd bone here and there at Scottish fitbaw. Lets get rid of the super rich who treat folk as slaves and minions.
I'm really sorry mate. I understand too that nothing anybody says right now is going to make it feel better, it's an emotional time. Please cut yourself a bit of slack here and just give yourself the time to take stock. I won't downplay what you're probably going though but safe to say, you are no failure, clearly you are not. You're clearly a guy with lots of ability and qualities and these will stand you in good stead. I feel sure anyone on here would echo that sentiment.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Perhaps the best thing that any of us on here can do at the moment though is to lend an ear and tell you we're here to listen. It's somewhere you can get those emotions out. Talk when you are good and ready. I'll count myself among the many who are here to listen when that time comes.
Take care PB.
Genuinely over the time I have read your posts on here I have always felt you were one of the most grounded, balanced and reasonable people posting. As far as I am concerned you are very far from worthless. I remember struggling for employment in the late 80s and feeling like ****, it is grim. It’s a terrible feeling, but when a tsunami like this overwhelms so many of us there’s no doubt that the cause is external rather than you. Please know that you carry a lot of respect and it’s well merited.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Scottish football would have been even worse off if Anderson didn't throw in any bones at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by RitchieHibs
The majority of top end sportsmen are also overpaid & rich.
You are anything but worthless, please don't think like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
You have a fiancee and child that think the world of you,and no doubt countless others.
You probably don't remember speaking to me , you ran a bus to Hampden and we got into a cricket club before the game (can't remember what game) and it was an excellent pre match venue.
I really appreciated that,you made that happen.
Even small things mate, you are not worthless.
Worthless you are not, the very fact that even at this low ebb you were, and still are thinking of others and looking beyond self tells me that you are the opposite.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
A valuable help to those around you and an asset that's needed when this starts to turn around. A selfless person is worth a hundred selfish ones, keep your head up.
Sent from my SM-A750FN using Tapatalk
"Work, pay tax, look after my family and accept anything else life throws at me. Right now I feel totally worthless because the most basic of things has been robbed from me." Your worth doesn't come from these things mate. You are worth way more than any of these (I've missed out contribute to society/look after the family because that doesn't stop because of your current thoughts on it)...Thing is all of these things you have very little control over, like so many of us if we put our worth on these we are putting who we think we are on an ever shifting base. These things come and go in various forms, you are still here. When your not thinking about these things that you equate to your value (what you think your all about)....where do you go?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Im guessing of we go back 5 years, 10 years, 15 years you would see you worth in different ways? How we think about ourselves tells us nothing about ourselves. How we see ourself restricts rather than frees....But its what most of us have been told to do
Have a look in the eyes of your child for a couple of mins....with no want, judgement, need, don't connect with any thoughts just look into their eyes...just breath and connect...without delving into thought is it possible to feel worthless then?
I'll keep this short as you may not be in the space to give it a go yet & I don't want to sound preachy :-)
Goes without saying if you ever fancy a chat just drop me a note....Im around most of the time as only have a few bookings on...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
many have said things far more eloquently than I could, I echo their words, you’re far from worthless mate, if I can lend an ear then please give me a shout
Nah, categorically not. You're a dad to a young kid and a partner. A son, a friend to many, an exceptional poster on here, and possibly even a sibling. You're not defined by your job and your successes/failures therein. You speak passionately on here about helping your colleagues, and fellows in the industry, highlighting just how compassionate a chap you are. That the sector is being pounded once more by the Government doesn't reflect your failings, or your colleague's failings. One or two maybe, that failed to stick to the rules, but I think most elements of society would agree that the current situation is unfair and punishing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Pretty sure you became a dad around the same time I did, and I've always paid attention to your posts and engagements on here, partly for that reason. We've never met in person but you're genuinely one of the great guys on this site as far as I'm concerned, and you'll see through to the other side. Remember, there are a bunch of outlets if you need to speak to someone and the language in your last post is a little alarming, that perhaps it's something worth considering. If you ever want someone on here to chat to, I'm more than happy to ping you my mobile number and be a neutral and supportive ear if it would benefit you.
Head up, sir. You're far from worthless. :aok:
Head up, PB. You’re my favourite poster on here and you’ve actually taught me a lot about life purely by your posts.
You offered me an ear a few weeks back and I’m here to return the favour.
Chin up, fella.
One of the best posters on here. Clearly a good man. Clearly a good colleague. Clearly a good dad. Clearly a loving partner. Clearly not worthless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
This PB.Quote:
Originally Posted by bawheid
And this is for all my hibs.net family - never, ever feel like people would be better off without you. Its the exact opposite. Just by being there, you fill a space in peoples hearts.
Thank you for all the kind words and advice. Thanks also to those who have PMd me, I will reply.
Truth is I have been feeling pretty crap for a while. I've been trying to power through but everything has come to a head over the last couple of days. The mix of alcohol, a couple of pretty awful conversations and a few goodbyes yesterday was the trigger for a bit of an outburst. I've not been sleeping well and when I do sleep I am quite often waking suddenly with panic attacks.
Going to the football has always been a bit of an outlet for me and I'm missing that more than I realised. I drive or walk past Easter Road every day going to and from work and I just feel so sad when doing so. I also get a lot out of running but with organised races off the table I'm finding it hard to get out and get motivated.
I'm planning on taking a step back from social media and the like for a while. It's an environment so full of conflict at the moment and constantly arguing isn't doing me any good. I really need to learn to walk away sometimes rather than always having to have my say.
Anyway thank you all once again. This thread has been a godsend for many people over the years and it really is home to some wonderful people.
Best wishes to you. I have no doubt you are smart enough to know that talking and sharing is a help, whether that is Samaritans or Breathing Space or whatever. It sounds really trite but feeling able to share how you feel, in a safe way, is incredibly powerful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Social media is funny. At its best it is a massive force for positive change. At its worst it is toxic and poisonous.
Easter Road should be a positive, sorry it is not. I don’t wish to sound patronising but if you are passing it regularly then make a point of thinking about a particular positive match, goal or experience when you do so.
Hope it all gets better for you. I’m sure it will. One thing I did when I really struggle was knock alcohol on the head. Made a huge difference in reducing anxiety and slept better as well. That may help? There’s some really good alcohol free beers out there now if you still want the taste of a pint (like me!) Take careQuote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Boy
Has anyone ever written a blog before? Or even a book?
It’s been mentioned to me again this morning that I should really do something with my experiences to a) get my thoughts out there first and foremost and b) potentially make an income from it (I’m not sure how that works).
I have my own personal journal which I update daily and I find that quite cathartic in a sense however it’s been suggested to me dozens of times that I should write a book or a blog for others to read and maybe take something from it. I suppose my initial fears are “who the **** would want to read it?” and “how open should I be?”
I hope everyone is doing well. I’ve had a rough few days in all honesty. I’ve lost focus and confidence. I’ve had good news on the job front which is a boost but I’m still struggling with the break-up in all honesty, I just can’t seem to shake it off.
I think writing about your feelings and experiences and feelings can be very therapeutic. Some of my clients write a journal recording these things. I have a blog which has been going for over thirteen years now with hundreds of articles over the years and interaction from readers. There are stats available to you too that tell you about hits, readers and so on so you know what hits the spot so to speak.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Blogs are quite easy to create and if you have fairly rudimentary IT skills such as navigating the internet and using Word you can easily make one for yourself. Signing up walks you through it. I use Wordpress.com as a free host (Wordpress.org is a paid scheme and more sophisticated). Plenty of other good ones are available.
You can make your blog public for all to read or keep it private for your own thoughts.
https://stuartfrew.wordpress.com/
Thanks, Stu. I was hoping to catch your attention with my post above so thank you for commenting.Quote:
Originally Posted by stu in nottingham
Have you monetised your blog or attempted to? It’s obviously not the be all and end all, health before wealth etc but at a time when money is tight I’m looking at avenues to create a side income.
I haven't attempted to make an income from blogging myself as it's just a pleasure and hobby for me but there's a lot of information about it out there for those who would like to. I think some of the usual conventions around encouraging interest in your blog would also apply. Things such as:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
- Making your own circle of friends, aquaintances and family aware of it to begin with.
- Reading other blogs widely and commenting on them
- Posting regularly, every day content if possible
- Choosing a regular and recognisable theme
Over the years I've receeived a huge amount of hits/reads simply from placing the blog's address in my siganture on Hibs.net ro instance. Overall I think there have been approximately 757,000 the last time I looked. All blog's hits took a decrease some years ago when Google images decided to present their search results differently, meaning the user didn't have to access the blog site to see the image. My own hits went from around 350 a day to around 80-100 at that time,
Another point is that you can host multiple blogs for different purposes on the same host site such as Wordpress or elsewhere. For example, I had a private one for research purposes whilst carrying out an ethnographic study on education.
I think the heady heights of blogging reached a peak a few years ago to be superceded by micro-blogging such as Twitter etc. It has stabilised now though and found it's level.
Back in the beginning I attended a talk at a book festival by a very successful first-wave blogger and learnt some good tips. A memorable one was to always assume that anything you write will get back at some point to the person you're talking about. I've always borne this in mind when writing!
It's old information now but still worth a glance:
https://troubled-diva.com/2007/07/01...mentary-links/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
You'll have ups and downs mate, try not to give yourself too much of a hard time when you have a dip. It takes time to recover when you've invested yourself into a relationship so fully (which is a credit to you, even if it doesnt feel like it).
Really glad to hear about the job front, thats great.
I keep a bit of a journal but I dont read it back...It helps me keep a bit of daily structure on all the things I want to focus on & tick off my vitamins, breathing, exercise, mood & manifestations etc..Again the actual journal itself isnt the release, its me just allowing acceptance of the moment...that writing that down is 'enough'..I could accept without doing that but I kinda enjoy a decent pen on some nice paper..I used to do a blog on the website and wrote a monthly article for a magazine..just by putting it out there you never know who you could affect in a positive way ( look at this thread and people sharing & the difference its made for others)...It does sound like you have something others woudl benefit from & I think you know that but might jst be overthinking it now rather than just writing for the fun of it..Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
If you are writing dont get too caught up in what others might think & just write...you can always rewrite chop things or add things...Once you get it down you'll get a feel for how open you want to be. Is it a blog is it a book...Does the blog become the creator of the book....go with what feels right. Do try & think who might be interested in reading it (not who wont) get clear on that & write to them..what part of your story could help them & how? Again I would do this once Ive got most of what I initially want to share down.
Thats brilliant news re the job front.....stop trying to shake it off re the break up..Thats just keep your attention on it..Just notice the thoughts and feelings that show up & us much as possible just allow them....
I don't have anything to add in the way of advice to those who've posted on here how much they're struggling but...
I just wanted to wish everybody well and remind them that there are people out there that really care about you.
I've struggled myself in the past and that's the main thing that kept me going.
Some brave folk on here and wish everyone well
If anyone finds themselves stuck for something to do during the day in Edinburgh check out Street Soccer Scotland ( my work ) for free mental health friendly community football sessions and access to other opportunities, pm me any time anyone that may be interested
https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/
Grateful for any follows or whatever it is you’re meant to do. I intend to update daily, if nothing else it makes me accountable for my actions.
Excellent read, mate - very much looking forward to seeing it develop.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
I won't comment on what you're going through - but I wish I could write as well as that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
It's a great intro, well done mate. Will look forward to following your thoughts hrough the blog.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Thank you, mate, that really did put a smile on my face.Quote:
Originally Posted by Peevemor
It’s off the cuff writing, I’m “better” that way and more honest. My writing, much as in my life, seems to work better when it’s spontaneous as opposed to being planned.
Thank you Matty and Stu as well, that’s very encouraging for me.
Great first go mate. I really hope you find this to be the release you’re looking for 👍🏻Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Certainly entices a reader in. Has a good style of writing. Interesting and thoughtful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
:aok:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
followed. Great start to it mate, as you’ve mentioned it reads spontaneously, which is a good place to be I think, not overly filtering, just writing what you’re thinking and feeling
good luck pal :aok:
I’ve just written the second post. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, certainly the hardest hitting. But that’s the point of it all.
https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...february-2019/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Well done mate, you've triumphed over your self doubt with that piece.
That was a tough read, it hits a bit too close to home in parts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Well done on writing it and sharing your story. It can't have been easy but it's a great thing you are doing, for yourself and others.
Wonderfully well written. I know you won't underestimate how words like those can help others.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
By coincidence, that same date of 5th February a few years ago was the day my late partner decided to take her own life. I'm so glad you got through it.
. Thanks for posting bri. Also thanks to stu,matty,prettyboy and all who post on this thread. You guys need to know how much these posts help me and no doubt many others.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Superb. Good to hear how you got through this. Seem a funny chap on here but you just never know what anyone is going through.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Keep positive.
Thanks guys, I appreciate that.
I’ve just published the third post.
https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...r-and-no-idea/
I really don’t want to dominate this page however I’ve written a 4th post. Hopefully it might resonate with some of you.
https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-need-is-love/
I would keep them coming on here. They're a really good read and it keeps this thread alive and current.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Ah, the rage has returned. Despite being medicated and having a pretty easy run at work just now, the past few weeks have just been filled with things that are making me angrier and angrier.
The cause is readily identifiable - social media, the news on a day to day basis and a turn in season. There is literally NO good news out there just now and it's a daily onslaught of Covid-19, Trump and the US Election, an increase in violence, an increase in suicides, natural disasters, rising instances of terror attacks, lockdowns, general politics...I know the easy suggestion is 'just switch off', but it's almost like a compulsion to check on a daily basis, knowing what it's going to do.
I had a blazing row with an old friend earlier about the US Election because she told me she wasn't voting as both candidates were as bad as one another - the same friend who I consoled when she was over visiting in 2016 when it was announced Trump had won. I feel like a pressure plate ready to go off at the slightest touch just now.
Sylar, I hear you loud and clear.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylar
I hate it when people say 'Just switch it off' like it's simple to just walk away from literally every form of media. You can delete FB, Twitter etc you can unfollow news outlets and turn off radios/TVs but somehow it filters through and you get sucked back in.
I am actually afraid sometimes to even open my phone without the fear of being bombarded with negativity and doom.
Is there anything that you find even remotely helps when you feel like you're about to let rip at something/someone? I have found that just staring at pictures of my dog is calming. But I know it won't work for everyone.
Stay strong buddy [emoji4]
Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
Post 5, chaps and chapesses.
Might loosely help you out, Sylar. Not so much in switching off from social media, but in accepting those days that aren’t as productive as the ones before it.
https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...ne-step-still/
Juices still flowing, I’ve written another post. I hope this one might change your today.
https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...esponsibility/
Keep them coming mate. :aok:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Feeling really **** today, been building for a few days/week.
as I’ve said on another thread, I’m in the midst of a redundancy process, the last week or so it has become clearer that I’m more likely to go than stay.
in the last few days, I’ve found a lump on my stomach (seems more likely to be a hernia than cancer, docs tomorrow to confirm), my 1 year daughter has been really unwell, leading to all of us having to get COVID tested, negative for all of us but horrible trying to swab the wee one, then had to take her to hospital at 3am yesterday with some kind of viral infection causing a nasty rash on her back and chest and under her hair.
I'm the rep for my constituency in the consultation, and despite doing my best, some of them went ape**** today in what’s likely to be the last collective meeting, and essentially accused me of having some kind of agenda, all because they hadn’t listened to last weeks meeting properly (I don’t, they just didn’t listen to clear instructions last week). Left me feeling pretty upset and angry, especially when no one else would do the rep role so I stepped up, came close to telling them where to go
all in all, it’s been a really crappy, exhausting and soul destroying week, and there’s a reasonably strong thought in my head that everyone would be better off if I shuffled off this coil, life insurance pays off the house and if I go before I’m made redundant, my pension pays out 4 times my salary to my mrs and wee one.
What you really, really need is a good sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and you’ve got a beautiful daughter who needs her daddy in the morning 💚
No amount of money would make up for the pain and anguish the people you’d leave behind would suffer from.Quote:
Originally Posted by McD
You’re having a really really ****ty week by the sounds of it. Try not to focus on the past. It sounds hard but these people who are about to lose their jobs just see you as a figure head they can aim their anger at. Fair play to you for standing up to do it, I don’t think I would. I would try not to take any of it personally, people say all kinds of **** when they’re angry.
The health stuff sucks, my daughter had a really nasty reaction to dairy and it sounds like she had something not too dissimilar to your wee one. It’s horrid but you’ve just got to love them and help them through it. It can be distressing but she needs her daddy to keep her safe.
As for the job situation, if you’ve checked out maybe it’s time to look into other options already. I’d certainly feel that way if the vibes aren’t positive ones. Try to take it one day at a time.
This is just one of many responses I’m sure you’ll get and I hope we can all be of some help, even if it is just someone to rant at.
Please try to look at the consequences of that from their perspective. No amount of insurance or pension money makes up for that sort of loss. You have so much more to offer by being around for them.Quote:
Originally Posted by McD
I get you man life seems beyond hard at times, you feel like everything’s out to get you. Your not on your own there’s tons of people just like you feeling the same. Just keep pushing through mate, you’ll get to the other side and be stronger for it. No amount of money can replace you. Daughter needs her dad to be there for her [emoji1544][emoji172]
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Originally Posted by McD
There is absolutely nothing worth more to a child than the presence and love of their parents. Both the immediate contact and familiar reassurance and also all of the long term nurture and support. More negatively, that child would be left with a whole host of unanswered and unanswerable questions by the absence and the act. You have a value and importance and centrality to her life that cannot be measured and isn't finite. Money can't even come close to replacing that. You are literally irreplaceable.
You're having a really tough time and there is nothing wrong or unreasonable in you feeling really down in these circumstances. I have been there: redundancy, acute financial problems, feelings of parental inadequacy, even being the TU rep who ends up becoming the focal point for other the anger of other people who feel powerless and vulnerable. Trust me, you can get through this and there is a much, much better future somewhere on the other side of it.
Pedantic is right, sleep firstly and your daughter tomorrow and every day. My mantra is as simplified as a I can make it to try to help myself to be able to take action so that something at least is under my control even if external events are not. The mantra is sleep, move, eat. Every day.
Doesn't matter if the sleep is not perfect, the exercise not extreme and the food not the best. If you can force yourself to do those things in some kind of routine it will help you to help yourself.
I don't have magic answers but I do know its possible to get beyond it even when it doesn't feel like it, step by step.
Been a tough day. Informed that my job is at risk and looking likely to go down the redundancy route unless we can find something within the next 4 weeks
With a house move on the horizon, this is as welcome as a fart in an astronauts suit.
All the emotions run through your head, and im torn - i don't like my job. I want to change career anyway, but the uncertainty causes nervousness.
Maybe when I wake up tomorrow I'll see the positives outweighing the negatives and to invest my time in forcing the career change I desire but i can't shake the feeling of letting my girls down (missus and 2 young kids)
My friend, I am so sorry to hear of what you have been going through. These things coming together must have felt truly overwhelming just recently for you. I want you to know I am here for a chat, just say and i will give you a call or write anytime.Quote:
Originally Posted by McD
Try to approach things one a time, I know that's not necessarily easy but make it your goal wherever possible. People are certainly typically under stress of late for obvious reasons. Try to keep that in mind and remember how it directs their behaviour. Think of it as unconditional positive regard - people are only behaving as well as they are able in these times.
Let me talk a little about those suicidal thoughts for a moment if I may. Our friends that have already posted in response are quite correct. It won't necessarily help you right now to understand but the effects on a 'suicide survivor' - being a survivor of a loved one who has taken their own life can be grave. I am not a child but when it happened to me it took me also a good while to learn how to want to carry on living after that kind of loss. A loss that never really goes away. One that can never be truly understood and one which necessarily leaves unanswered questions. Instead, try to think of your young one as your protective factor when you have these feelings, whenever you are able.
Keep that Samaritans number in your wallet, they're there to talk 24 hours a day and are great people, contact your GP for a wee chat and talk to your friends here and elsewhere where you feel able.
The very best option for you at this time is to talk, I firmly believe that. I know you can emerge from this difficult time and come to flourish again. Here for you mate.
McD, maybe just let us know you're okay and safe mate?
Realise you may not be in a good place to talk, that's okay.
Cheers, Stu
Hi everyone, apologies if I've had you worried, its been a crazy morning dealing with the immediate stuff going on.
Had a really rough night, couldnt sleep from envisaging getting dragged into some kind of disciplinary due to the nonsense being shrieked during the consultation meeting, and ending up losing my job with no redundancy.
Spoke with a friend, and my boss this morning who told me that wouldn't happen, and that I should try to focus on the people who were appreciating what I was doing rather the odd one or 2 who are just lashing out in anger without any constructive points.
Went to the doc's appt who confirmed its a hernia.
Afterwards I had a long chat with the HR rep who has also confirmed that my fears were unfounded, and has confirmed that my actions are more than appropriate, and gave me some advice to respond to those individuals, which was relieving and helpful.
I'm feeling a good deal less stressed and uptight than I was, albeit still carrying a lot of it.
I want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who replied and commented, I'm genuinely touched and so appreciative, thank you. All of your comments have rung true for me, I've often been the one making the same points to others, on here and elsewhere, but sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're feeling pretty swamped, so I thank you all for taking the time and care to do that and help me see a bit clearer
Good to hear from you mate and especially regarding one or two encouraging signs might I say. Realise there's still stuff to work through but you sound a lot more optimistic today. Keep it going.Quote:
Originally Posted by McD
That's the essence of it, of course. And, you know that :agree:Quote:
Originally Posted by McD
When we're in that primitive part of the brain, our 3 F's kick in (fight, flight or freeze. One client suggested to me that there's a 4th one, ie **** it.) That's obviously where you went.
Like I say, from today's perspective, you know what you did, and why. And that, in itself, is a great asset. Hang on to it. :aok:
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Originally Posted by McD
Great to hear. Stick in buddy.
Good to hear mate 👍🏻Quote:
Originally Posted by McD
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thanks guys, genuinely appreciated
Good to hear from you McD.
We should make it mandatory for everyone to check in each day :greengrin
I dont post much as I often think i'm not contributing much, or just echoing other peoples words. I often default to trying to make light of many things and not take things too seriously (if you cant laugh at life, well......)
Keep posting, we're all listening (if not saying much)
And you too Brian (every time I see the link 'alittlebitofdickie'....... :tee hee:)
(see, im doing it again)
😂😂😂Quote:
Originally Posted by jonty
I coined the phrase back in my younger single days where I once said to a friend that a lady in question deserved “a little bit of Dickie”.
She was not disappointed. Mainly because she didn’t take me up on my offer 🥴
She missed out there.:greengrinQuote:
Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee
Keep posting guys. There’s a lot more following.
A few thoughts on a difficult subject.
Suicide: Risk Factors, Warning Signs And How To Talk To A Person With Suicide Ideation
https://stuartfrew.files.wordpress.c...holm.jpg?w=525
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Originally Posted by jonty
sometimes it’s really uplifting and heartening just to see some people you’ve probably never met reach out and offer support in any form, and helps you to see a bit more light than you were before, and it’s probably quite cathartic to follow up and confirm that you’re doing a bit better and be able to acknowledge that to yourself, or even to say that you’re not doing better and that it’s ok to acknowledge to yourself that you aren’t and hopefully be able to seek help or take up an offer of such from some of the terrific people here.
I think for some of us, it can be easier to open up a bit on here, where there’s such a clear history of unconditional support, than to try to talk to friends or loved ones who we know are also dealing with stuff or who we maybe suspect won’t be quite as empathetic as we need in that moment, and also sometimes that bit of anonymity can help too.