Things that are inarguably true

[Pretty Boy]

One for both this and the pet peeves thread.....

When the cockneys and Essex mob arrive in any holiday resort the noise goes up a few decibels. A week or so of peace, background chatter and just people having a good time with Scots, Geordies, scousers, mancs etc all getting along nicely.

A Gatwick flight must have arrived yesterday as for the last 2 days the cast of EastEnders is bellowing at each other. Not the 1st time I have experienced this either.

I was up early as I am every day, an hour on the sun lounger with my book before the family rise. Guy next to me spots his mate on the other side of the pool and they proceed to scream at the top of their voices at each other:

MAWNING MATE
MAWNING
'OW'S IT GOING
NOT BAD MATE, NOT BAD
GOT YOU 2 LOUNGERS ROUND ERE
TOP MAN, TOP MAN
WHAT YOU DO FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
LOVELY FISH AND CHIPS AT THAT PLACE ROUND THE CORNER
NICE ONE. WHAT TIMES THE OLD LADY COMING DOWN?
SHE'LL BE ROUND NOW

He then walks round the pool and they stand next to each other, still shouting admittedly but not as bad. A whole conversation that must have woken half the complex when they then sat on their erses next to each other for the next 6 hours.

[Kato]

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One for both this and the pet peeves thread.....

When the cockneys and Essex mob arrive in any holiday resort the noise goes up a few decibels. A week or so of peace, background chatter and just people having a good time with Scots, Geordies, scousers, mancs etc all getting along nicely.

A Gatwick flight must have arrived yesterday as for the last 2 days the cast of EastEnders is bellowing at each other. Not the 1st time I have experienced this either.

I was up early as I am every day, an hour on the sun lounger with my book before the family rise. Guy next to me spots his mate on the other side of the pool and they proceed to scream at the top of their voices at each other:

MAWNING MATE
MAWNING
'OW'S IT GOING
NOT BAD MATE, NOT BAD
GOT YOU 2 LOUNGERS ROUND ERE
TOP MAN, TOP MAN
WHAT YOU DO FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
LOVELY FISH AND CHIPS AT THAT PLACE ROUND THE CORNER
NICE ONE. WHAT TIMES THE OLD LADY COMING DOWN?
SHE'LL BE ROUND NOW

He then walks round the pool and they stand next to each other, still shouting admittedly but not as bad. A whole conversation that must have woken half the complex when they then sat on their erses next to each other for the next 6 hours.

Ditto Americans of a certain type.

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[Bridge hibs]

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One for both this and the pet peeves thread.....

When the cockneys and Essex mob arrive in any holiday resort the noise goes up a few decibels. A week or so of peace, background chatter and just people having a good time with Scots, Geordies, scousers, mancs etc all getting along nicely.

A Gatwick flight must have arrived yesterday as for the last 2 days the cast of EastEnders is bellowing at each other. Not the 1st time I have experienced this either.

I was up early as I am every day, an hour on the sun lounger with my book before the family rise. Guy next to me spots his mate on the other side of the pool and they proceed to scream at the top of their voices at each other:

MAWNING MATE
MAWNING
'OW'S IT GOING
NOT BAD MATE, NOT BAD
GOT YOU 2 LOUNGERS ROUND ERE
TOP MAN, TOP MAN
WHAT YOU DO FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
LOVELY FISH AND CHIPS AT THAT PLACE ROUND THE CORNER
NICE ONE. WHAT TIMES THE OLD LADY COMING DOWN?
SHE'LL BE ROUND NOW

He then walks round the pool and they stand next to each other, still shouting admittedly but not as bad. A whole conversation that must have woken half the complex when they then sat on their erses next to each other for the next 6 hours.

We used to enjoy a quiet place in Turkey for many years until its popularity spread like wildfire, on our last visit a few years back there was a family of 15 from Glasgow, adults, kids on tow and all clad in the rangers colours. My hibs towel and my neck to toes hibs tattoos were a magnet too them 🤣 in fairness they were actually sound and surprisingly not obnoxious in any way, like us they were there to enjoy their holiday

On the other hand on a more recent holiday I noticed a guy eying up my tattoos from a sun lounger beside mines, turned out he was former the rangers head of security and former Glasgow Police Superintendent Kenny Scott, guy was a ****ing typical the rangers bore and conversation was quickly reduced to a mere nod as the days went by 🤮

[ErinGoBraghHFC]

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One for both this and the pet peeves thread.....

When the cockneys and Essex mob arrive in any holiday resort the noise goes up a few decibels. A week or so of peace, background chatter and just people having a good time with Scots, Geordies, scousers, mancs etc all getting along nicely.

A Gatwick flight must have arrived yesterday as for the last 2 days the cast of EastEnders is bellowing at each other. Not the 1st time I have experienced this either.

I was up early as I am every day, an hour on the sun lounger with my book before the family rise. Guy next to me spots his mate on the other side of the pool and they proceed to scream at the top of their voices at each other:

MAWNING MATE
MAWNING
'OW'S IT GOING
NOT BAD MATE, NOT BAD
GOT YOU 2 LOUNGERS ROUND ERE
TOP MAN, TOP MAN
WHAT YOU DO FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
LOVELY FISH AND CHIPS AT THAT PLACE ROUND THE CORNER
NICE ONE. WHAT TIMES THE OLD LADY COMING DOWN?
SHE'LL BE ROUND NOW

He then walks round the pool and they stand next to each other, still shouting admittedly but not as bad. A whole conversation that must have woken half the complex when they then sat on their erses next to each other for the next 6 hours.

Stopped going to resorts/areas that are mostly visited by British tourists and going to places that are more geared towards German and Dutch tourists, can’t recommend it enough. Does mean I need to borderline fight for a lounger though


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[Silky]

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Surely some mistake? There must be at least 1 of the 400,000 burgundy-clad blowhards wearing the ‘famous’ marone…

I was in Porto last week and came across one of them in the street!! My son was resplendent in his mint green away top and took great delight in thumping the badge as we walked past. The maroon balloon was so distracted by it that he went head on into a bus stop. The locals enjoyed it as much as I did.

[Paulie Walnuts]

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Ditto Americans of a certain type.

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I was in Barcelona a month or so ago. Sitting on the beach, busy, but peaceful, until an American family pitch up behind us. The parents have obviously had an argument but brought it all the way down to the beach for everyone to hear. Husband refusing to do anything whatsoever, the wife screaming at him for not helping, him screaming back that he can’t go on the sand/go in the water cause he’s in trainers and it’s her fault for bad planning. Then the kids are away to the water about 20 feet away and the women is screaming at the kids to get back beside her because “you can’t trust Europeans”.

Bizarre. I actually quite enjoyed it for the 45 mins or so they lasted before they realised they were hating every minute of it.

[ErinGoBraghHFC]

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I was in Barcelona a month or so ago. Sitting on the beach, busy, but peaceful, until an American family pitch up behind us. The parents have obviously had an argument but brought it all the way down to the beach for everyone to hear. Husband refusing to do anything whatsoever, the wife screaming at him for not helping, him screaming back that he can’t go on the sand/go in the water cause he’s in trainers and it’s her fault for bad planning. Then the kids are away to the water about 20 feet away and the women is screaming at the kids to get back beside her because “you can’t trust Europeans”.

Bizarre. I actually quite enjoyed it for the 45 mins or so they lasted before they realised they were hating every minute of it.

That sounds class not gonna lie, at least it’s better than cockneys asking their wife if they want a kebab or a burger for lunch


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[Hibrandenburg]

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I was in Barcelona a month or so ago. Sitting on the beach, busy, but peaceful, until an American family pitch up behind us. The parents have obviously had an argument but brought it all the way down to the beach for everyone to hear. Husband refusing to do anything whatsoever, the wife screaming at him for not helping, him screaming back that he can’t go on the sand/go in the water cause he’s in trainers and it’s her fault for bad planning. Then the kids are away to the water about 20 feet away and the women is screaming at the kids to get back beside her because “you can’t trust Europeans”.

Bizarre. I actually quite enjoyed it for the 45 mins or so they lasted before they realised they were hating every minute of it.

It's American season in Berlin at the moment. I work around the tourist town centre and am normally surrounded by them during my lunch break. Yesterday as I was waiting for my order a young girl of around 13 came in to ask the staff if they could open a parasol outside for her family but couldn't make herself understood so I translated for her. When I went outside she was stood around a table with her family waiting for the parasol to be opened so I sat down at the next table that was in the shade but still had to be cleared from the last customer. All of a sudden the mother started hurling abuse at me for being a rude German because I took the last table in the shade and she stormed off dragging her family with her without giving me any chance to explain. The apologetic look off embarrassment from the daughter and father told me all I needed to know about mum. Some people just need to get their anger out and really don't care who is on the receiving end. **** em.

[Northernhibee]

Getting called an ars3hole is far worse than being called an asshole.

[O'Rourke3]

Buses during the Festival are always delayed, unless it's the one I just miss.. At which point they are an hour late.

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[The Mook]

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One for both this and the pet peeves thread.....

When the cockneys and Essex mob arrive in any holiday resort the noise goes up a few decibels. A week or so of peace, background chatter and just people having a good time with Scots, Geordies, scousers, mancs etc all getting along nicely.

A Gatwick flight must have arrived yesterday as for the last 2 days the cast of EastEnders is bellowing at each other. Not the 1st time I have experienced this either.

I was up early as I am every day, an hour on the sun lounger with my book before the family rise. Guy next to me spots his mate on the other side of the pool and they proceed to scream at the top of their voices at each other:

MAWNING MATE
MAWNING
'OW'S IT GOING
NOT BAD MATE, NOT BAD
GOT YOU 2 LOUNGERS ROUND ERE
TOP MAN, TOP MAN
WHAT YOU DO FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
LOVELY FISH AND CHIPS AT THAT PLACE ROUND THE CORNER
NICE ONE. WHAT TIMES THE OLD LADY COMING DOWN?
SHE'LL BE ROUND NOW

He then walks round the pool and they stand next to each other, still shouting admittedly but not as bad. A whole conversation that must have woken half the complex when they then sat on their erses next to each other for the next 6 hours.

Ive found weegies to be guilty of this exact behaviour on a few occasions.

Its as if they want the whole resort to know - usually on day one - that theyre 'glesga' and, of course, 'have the patter byrawaybigman'.

[Kato]

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Ive found weegies to be guilty of this exact behaviour on a few occasions.

Its as if they want the whole resort to know - usually on day one - that theyre 'glesga' and, of course, 'have the patter byrawaybigman'.

...and the patter being worse than having **** on yer shoe.

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[Pedantic_Hibee]

You can’t smell your own toast but can always smell someone else’s.

[Scouse Hibee]

If you can’t find something as it’s not in its normal place and the wife says she hasn’t used it, she’s lying.

[lapsedhibee]

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Ive found weegies to be guilty of this exact behaviour on a few occasions.

Its as if they want the whole resort to know - usually on day one - that theyre 'glesga' and, of course, 'have the patter byrawaybigman'.

Think the technical term for this might be 'call and response'.
Loudperson 1: SQUAWK SQUAWK
Loudperson 2: SQUAWK
Then L1 and L2 get intimate.

[The Mook]

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Think the technical term for this might be 'call and response'.
Loudperson 1: SQUAWK SQUAWK
Loudperson 2: SQUAWK
Then L1 and L2 get intimate.

Squawk would be an apt description.

My experience is that celtc fans are worse on holiday, which takes some doing. More than a few times Ive seen some unsuspecting Brummie or Dutch bloke get cornered by a cretin proceeding to bore his ear off about 'the cellic story, paradise, seville, best fans in the world, everyone loves us' etc. etc. That sets up a hounding for the rest of the holiday

Of course initially, the Victim loves it and wants to chat with the Scottish fan - then quickly realise their error and have to plan the escape

[Scouse Hibee]

Celtic fan sees Liverpool fan on holiday, immediately thinks there’s a bond and starts the chat only to be told by Liverpool fan that he is a Hibs ST holder and ****** hates Celtic……conversation stops.

[Hibrandenburg]

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Celtic fan sees Liverpool fan on holiday, immediately thinks there’s a bond and starts the chat only to be told by Liverpool fan that he is a Hibs ST holder and ****** hates Celtic……conversation stops.

Good drills.

[J-C]

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Celtic fan sees Liverpool fan on holiday, immediately thinks there’s a bond and starts the chat only to be told by Liverpool fan that he is a Hibs ST holder and ****** hates Celtic……conversation stops.

Haha