Depression and anxiety

[stu in nottingham]

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As you say Stu, we need to always be open and vigilant.
You do great work on this thread which is a real credit to the site.
Sadly suicide is something that can't be put right so we all need to raise our awareness and sensitivity to the mental health of those around us.

On a happier note, I clicked on your blog and saw your tribute to Gregory Isaac. I have had a copy of his "Night Nurse" album for more than 35 years. A keeper!

Thanks for the view and the kind words CM. I find it really pleasing that there are so many on here who show kindness and offer support to those having a struggle, yourself included. It has managed to draw numerous people out to seek support.

Ah, Gregory Isaacs, what a great album Night Nurse is! I read recently that 'Extra Classic' is one Keith Richard's ten top tunes of all time and I understand why. As soon as I hear those opening notes and lines it brings a smile to my face and makes the world feel right. So mellow. The NHS should prescribe it daily!

[CropleyWasGod]

Nikki Grahame's death will hit some hard, particularly those who struggle with eating disorders.

For those who do, and for those who have loved ones in that situation:-

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-...eful-contacts/

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org....rting-somebody

[Dalianwanda]

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Many of you saw posts from my wee brother,WPJ, on this thread. Sadly he passed away on Saturday after being ill in hospital over Christmas. I know that he found this thread really helpful in dealing with mental health issues he had and there were a number of posters who reached out to him via PMs to helps, Stu in Nottingham being one amongst many. He wouldn’t want me to blether on but he would want me to thank those who used this thread as he found it so helpful

Not been on this thread for a while and just reading your sad news now. I do remember a couple of messages with your brother, may he rest in peace.

[matty_f]

I get a lot of messages through Longbangers from people on the subject of mental health, and we thought it would be good to organise something to get folk together to talk of if they’re feeling low or struggling. We’re going to put on a Zoom call (not recorded or published) as a wee drop-in.

If you’d like to be a part of that - no judgement/no expectations, you can listen in or join in - PM me or DM @longbangers, and we’ll arrange it.

[CropleyWasGod]

This has been touched on before.

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-56745139

As it says, a small-scale study. But encouraging nonetheless.

Plants 1 Big Pharma 0 😉

[Itsnoteasy]

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I get a lot of messages through Longbangers from people on the subject of mental health, and we thought it would be good to organise something to get folk together to talk of if they’re feeling low or struggling. We’re going to put on a Zoom call (not recorded or published) as a wee drop-in.

If you’d like to be a part of that - no judgement/no expectations, you can listen in or join in - PM me or DM @longbangers, and we’ll arrange it.

What a fantastic idea.

[matty_f]

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What a fantastic idea.

Thanks - i can’t take the credit for it, it was John (co-host on the podcast) who brought it up but i thought it was a great idea as well.

[HH81]

Great idea.

I was anxious about going out again after getting covid really bad. First steps taken this weekend as had a few pints with mates I have not seen in year and a half.

Went smoothly and I feel good. Even got a bit of a suntan. I guess the worry was getting covid again more than anything. Feel so glad I went out now.

[stu in nottingham]

Sometimes I could despair, if I was the despairing type.

I don't work for the NHS but nevertheless, have to carry out much of the standard training that they offer. I'm just currently looking at some obligatory NHS e-learning regarding suicide interventions.

They begin by talking about 'suicide survivors and those those bereaved by suicide', showing they clearly do not understand what a 'suicide survivor' is (it's actually someone bereaved by suicide - not someone who has attempted suicide without completing it, as is implied here. It's quite an important distinction.


The next slide goes on to say that the average suicide affects 20 other lives. (Incorrect, it's actually far more, 135 lives.)

That's just after a couple of minutes' viewing.

It's a very important subject and one on a lot of people's lips these days. I'm a little taken aback that the NHS can put this kind of misinformation out about simple facts. Their slogan suggests 'Let's Talk'. I don't wish to sound churlish but just maybe, it's time we moved away from these seemingly endless and somewhat empty phrases and just had a bloody good talk about stuff properly. Just like people do on here.

I don't claim to be world's top expert on suicide but if anyone is in doubt about anything to do with the subject, including how to talk with someone contemplating suicide, please feel free to give me a wee shout. (If I don't know the answer I'll find out for you.)

[Dalianwanda]

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It's a very important subject and one on a lot of people's lips these days. I'm a little taken aback that the NHS can put this kind of misinformation out about simple facts. Their slogan suggests 'Let's Talk'. I don't wish to sound churlish but just maybe, it's time we moved away from these seemingly endless and somewhat empty phrases and just had a bloody good talk about stuff properly. Just like people do on here.

It's so important that people know that option is out there. I was a Samaritan for a few years when I first moved out west. My background is coaching & specifically helping people see how their experience of life is created. I had to put all of that to the back burner though. Samaritans are there to question & listen, to give someone an outlet to tell their story. To know theres someone there willing to listen without judgement or agenda. Not there to change someones mind but to talk it through so they can see their thinking or just work things out by sharing. I was constantly amazed at how many people entered the call in despair & left feeling so much more at ease. Just by having the outlet, the space to chat things through.

[stu in nottingham]

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It's so important that people know that option is out there. I was a Samaritan for a few years when I first moved out west. My background is coaching & specifically helping people see how their experience of life is created. I had to put all of that to the back burner though. Samaritans are there to question & listen, to give someone an outlet to tell their story. To know theres someone there willing to listen without judgement or agenda. Not there to change someones mind but to talk it through so they can see their thinking or just work things out by sharing. I was constantly amazed at how many people entered the call in despair & left feeling so much more at ease. Just by having the outlet, the space to chat things through.

Samaritans do such fine work, providing a wonderful service that I admire. How difficult it must have been doing that over the past year.

I encourage clients with suicide ideation to carry that number around in their wallet, purse or on their phone always.

Simply talking and unloading can achieve so much.

[Chorley Hibee]

I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

[Santa Cruz]

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I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

It is the talk of things "returning to normal" is what is actually depressing me the most.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

I'm sorry to hear this, you have had a lot on your plate. I hope you have someone you can talk to about the way you are feeling just now. It's a cliché I hear often, but baby steps, a day at a time and don't put yourself under pressure to rush back to returning to normal until you feel the time is right for you.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

I hope this thread can help you along, mate. It's been a tough time for everyone to some degree; for those with mental health conditions it's been very hard. It seems so long ago that life was as normal that this now feels like the new normal. Reach out wherever you can and do the usual things: exercise, regular sleep pattern, avoid booze. Get the basics in order and talk to someone you trust. If things don't change, see your GP.

[CMurdoch]

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I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

Sorry, just seen your post.
Good advice from Hibernian&Alba about keeping things basic.
Look after your medical conditions.
Force yourself to get out walking each day with the pram, get regular sleep and definitely keep off the alcohol.
You have a lot on your plate, so just get yourself through each hour and don't be wait too long to reach out to your GP for help.
Stay strong and let us know how you are getting on.

[TRC]

I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

[stu in nottingham]

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I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

Hi TRC

Sorry to hear what you've been going through. I work in addiction and would be happy to give you a bit of support if that would help mate? You can write to me here in confidence and let me have your email address.

The first matter is the suicidal thoughts you're experiencing which need careful attention. It sounds like you've been through the ups and downs of the mental health system where you are based so excuse me giving you a little well-worn advice about consulting a GP. Monitoring that situation is the first important thing to do. When you talk to a GP try to make the distinction for yourself of whether these are general suicidal thoughts (wish I wasn't here/don't want to wake up tomorrow type feelings (which I am in no way trivialising) or if they have developed to the next stage of making actual plans to harm yourself. Consider the protective factors in your life too. I can imagine that your relationship with your son would present as one of those straight away.

Your words suggest that you have experienced problems with various addictions through the years since leaving school days. Often these many and varied addictions come from the very same place in our lives as a central source, say that of unhappiness, frustration or loneliness as examples. Addictions, whether they be substances, gambling, alcohol shopping or whatever, can be an attempt to self-medicate - to 'fix' our feelngs and tranquilise or numb the pain, discomfort or disatisfaction we are experiencing. We are attempting to modify our moods. Tolerance to the substance or activity inevitably builds, meaning that we need more and more of the substance or activity to have the same effect. These varous addictions are not about having an 'addictive personality' as people often say, the different addiction problems can be generated by the same source within us and so that is often the place to look to identify the problem. In this way we can treat not just the symptoms but importantly, the cause.

If it feels good, drop me a line and we can talk. Take care of yourself.

Stu

[Hibernia&Alba]

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I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

You've been through hell; your story is worrying to read. It's so difficult for anyone to give advice to someone in your situation without sounding glib, and I'm not even qualified to offer such advice. I just hope you find a way through your crisis. Please look for help wherever you can and keep fighting. I'm sure there are people who deeply care about you; reach out to someone, be it a relative, friend or mental health professional. You are not alone, no matter what. This is rock bottom; things can only improve. You can also chat on this thread as much as you like, if it provides any help.

[McD]

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I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

mate, I dearly hope you return to this thread and see the responses. You’ve clearly had so much to deal with, Stu has offered his support already, I’m sure many on this thread would be happy to lend an ear if that would help you, including me.

your son will always be your son, he’s a great reason to keep searching for your path to finding a better place in your life. Please focus on him, the happiness I’m sure he brings you and just as importantly, the happiness you bring him

[stu in nottingham]

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I've been finding things increasingly difficult these past few weeks.

I'm still working from home, very little social interaction, struggling with my eating disorder, a heart condition, and a one year old daughter.

However, it is the talk of things "returning to normal" that is depressing me the most right now.

It's nothing like normal, and I feel as if I'm existing rather than living.

I'm terrified that all the things I previously had, which helped to manage my depression/anxiety, will never return in their former guise.

Really on the edge right now.

Hi Chorley

I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate to deal with. Great credit to you for persevering in tough circumstances.

There is no doubt that returning back to former routines and activities feels stressful for many. Those very words 'returning to normal' I believe, are causing great anxiety in many too.

Being at home has felt a grind at times, I can identify with your thoughts. There seem less highs and lows and life can become more predictable, mundane and 'samey'. Being in that 'safe' place reminds me of the way some people with depression withdraw from people and activities. It's a little like retreating into a cave where it feels safe. In reality it's one of the least safe places. The most safe place is to emerge from that cave and to engage with others and society in general. That may be need to be done in modest steps where possible.

What you say poses a couple of questions. Can you identify what actually feels depressing about returning to normal, as apart from, say, a general feeling?

In addition, what would the things be you used to have that helped you manage your depression and why would they not return?

I appreciate these things may be personal and you may not want to discuss them here. Feel free to drop me a pm if that helps, or alternatively, perhaps even just try asking yourself those questions so that you might have more clarity around these feelings.

I recall a story last summer that stuck in my mind which revolved around a guy from Glasgow who recounted a time when he went on a sabbatical retreat of some kind for a year on a mountain in India. Although almost completely isolated, he maintained that after a week or two he setled into his retreat quite comfortably. However, conversely, upon returning to Glasgow he found it extremely difficult to adapt back into the pace of life, the amount of people around him, the noise and so on (no cracks about Glasgow!) He related that a month later he was still struggling to adjust and adapt. This probably tells us that it's not a simple, straightforward task, certainly it's one we're not familar with.

All the best to you mate.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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I’ve posted a couple of times here, it’s a fantastic thread.
My life since the breakdown of my relationship in 2018, has just spiralled out of control. I live in Sweden with no just now, I miss city life I miss a network, I miss home! So the last two and a half years have gone from catastrophe to another. Culminating In losing my job, and my house and most probably in the very near future my son. I’ve had problems with addiction since primary school. As far back as I can remember as soon as I’ve enjoyed something it just gets out of control, this time prescription drugs.. The reason I lost my job. Hate myself hate life, lost any enthusiasm for anything. I’ve tried things to help cbt other therapists, been on a few different anti-depressants, nothing seems to stick!! Suicidal thoughts everyday, just can’t deal with anything more

How are you doing, mate? Hope you are hanging in there.

Did Pontius Pilate come back? He was going through a hell of a time.

[TRC]

Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

[GreenNWhiteArmy]

Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

[Hibernia&Alba]

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Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

Type away, mate, whenever you feel the need. You can only do your best, and, though you will have setbacks and tough days, the small steps add up. Be kind to yourself.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

You haven't been given a medical diagnosis on your issue? Clearly there is a problem you need help with.

[Santa Cruz]

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Can feel my mental health declining again

Was on top of it for the last year or so.

I've got a longstanding lower back and rib pain accompanied by fatigue and never feeling refreshed that no health professional wants to diagnose.

When I struggle with the pain, my mental health takes a pounding and I tend to comfort eat this pile on the weight

I worry for my kids, as I don't genuinely think I can deal with 60 years of this pain

Have you been offered a referral to a Pain Clinic? They help with the phycological issues caused by chronic pain and assist with long term pain management suggestions such as hydro therapy which can be beneficial for some people.

[GreenNWhiteArmy]

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You haven't been given a medical diagnosis on your issue? Clearly there is a problem you need help with.

Had the full works with blood tests over the years for thyroid, iron deficiency etc

I'm tired of going and saying the same thing over and over again (it's been almost 10 years) to the doctors

I fit the criteria for CFS but because it can't really be tested they've never diagnosed it.

Very frustrating

[CMurdoch]

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Thank for the words guys, still trying to make the situation better. Big shout out to Stu, people like him show how wonderful the human race can be towards one another.

Good to hear from you and it's positive that you are trying to make the situation better. Fight through one day at a time.

[patch1875]

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Had the full works with blood tests over the years for thyroid, iron deficiency etc

I'm tired of going and saying the same thing over and over again (it's been almost 10 years) to the doctors

I fit the criteria for CFS but because it can't really be tested they've never diagnosed it.

Very frustrating

I had a few years of similar symptoms turned out I had a large gallstone and the gallbladder was packing in.

I knew I had one but it was always dismissed as the reason as I never had the usual gallbladder pain symptoms.

An instant difference when it was eventually removed, my mood had spiralled downwards for a long time as I couldn’t get any answers about how I felt and had convinced myself I had some undiagnosed cancer.

Good luck and keep pestering medics to get some answers.

[matty_f]

We’ve been running the mental health Zoom calls with longbangers for a few weeks now, our fourth call is this Friday. It’s open to everyone, if you feel you’d benefit from the support/companionship of a cracking group of guys, l’ll put the Zoom details up on Friday morning and you can join in complete confidence.