Depression and anxiety

[HH81]

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https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress.com/

Grateful for any follows or whatever it is you’re meant to do. I intend to update daily, if nothing else it makes me accountable for my actions.

Superb. Good to hear how you got through this. Seem a funny chap on here but you just never know what anyone is going through.

Keep positive.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Thanks guys, I appreciate that.

I’ve just published the third post.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...r-and-no-idea/

[Pedantic_Hibee]

I really don’t want to dominate this page however I’ve written a 4th post. Hopefully it might resonate with some of you.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-need-is-love/

[stu in nottingham]

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I really don’t want to dominate this page however I’ve written a 4th post. Hopefully it might resonate with some of you.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-need-is-love/

I would keep them coming on here. They're a really good read and it keeps this thread alive and current.

[Sylar]

Ah, the rage has returned. Despite being medicated and having a pretty easy run at work just now, the past few weeks have just been filled with things that are making me angrier and angrier.

The cause is readily identifiable - social media, the news on a day to day basis and a turn in season. There is literally NO good news out there just now and it's a daily onslaught of Covid-19, Trump and the US Election, an increase in violence, an increase in suicides, natural disasters, rising instances of terror attacks, lockdowns, general politics...I know the easy suggestion is 'just switch off', but it's almost like a compulsion to check on a daily basis, knowing what it's going to do.

I had a blazing row with an old friend earlier about the US Election because she told me she wasn't voting as both candidates were as bad as one another - the same friend who I consoled when she was over visiting in 2016 when it was announced Trump had won. I feel like a pressure plate ready to go off at the slightest touch just now.

[StevesFamau5]

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Ah, the rage has returned. Despite being medicated and having a pretty easy run at work just now, the past few weeks have just been filled with things that are making me angrier and angrier.

The cause is readily identifiable - social media, the news on a day to day basis and a turn in season. There is literally NO good news out there just now and it's a daily onslaught of Covid-19, Trump and the US Election, an increase in violence, an increase in suicides, natural disasters, rising instances of terror attacks, lockdowns, general politics...I know the easy suggestion is 'just switch off', but it's almost like a compulsion to check on a daily basis, knowing what it's going to do.

I had a blazing row with an old friend earlier about the US Election because she told me she wasn't voting as both candidates were as bad as one another - the same friend who I consoled when she was over visiting in 2016 when it was announced Trump had won. I feel like a pressure plate ready to go off at the slightest touch just now.

Sylar, I hear you loud and clear.

I hate it when people say 'Just switch it off' like it's simple to just walk away from literally every form of media. You can delete FB, Twitter etc you can unfollow news outlets and turn off radios/TVs but somehow it filters through and you get sucked back in.

I am actually afraid sometimes to even open my phone without the fear of being bombarded with negativity and doom.

Is there anything that you find even remotely helps when you feel like you're about to let rip at something/someone? I have found that just staring at pictures of my dog is calming. But I know it won't work for everyone.

Stay strong buddy

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[Pedantic_Hibee]

Post 5, chaps and chapesses.

Might loosely help you out, Sylar. Not so much in switching off from social media, but in accepting those days that aren’t as productive as the ones before it.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...ne-step-still/

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Juices still flowing, I’ve written another post. I hope this one might change your today.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...esponsibility/

[Jones28]

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I really don’t want to dominate this page however I’ve written a 4th post. Hopefully it might resonate with some of you.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-need-is-love/

Keep them coming mate.

[McD]

Feeling really **** today, been building for a few days/week.

as I’ve said on another thread, I’m in the midst of a redundancy process, the last week or so it has become clearer that I’m more likely to go than stay.

in the last few days, I’ve found a lump on my stomach (seems more likely to be a hernia than cancer, docs tomorrow to confirm), my 1 year daughter has been really unwell, leading to all of us having to get COVID tested, negative for all of us but horrible trying to swab the wee one, then had to take her to hospital at 3am yesterday with some kind of viral infection causing a nasty rash on her back and chest and under her hair.

I'm the rep for my constituency in the consultation, and despite doing my best, some of them went ape**** today in what’s likely to be the last collective meeting, and essentially accused me of having some kind of agenda, all because they hadn’t listened to last weeks meeting properly (I don’t, they just didn’t listen to clear instructions last week). Left me feeling pretty upset and angry, especially when no one else would do the rep role so I stepped up, came close to telling them where to go

all in all, it’s been a really crappy, exhausting and soul destroying week, and there’s a reasonably strong thought in my head that everyone would be better off if I shuffled off this coil, life insurance pays off the house and if I go before I’m made redundant, my pension pays out 4 times my salary to my mrs and wee one.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

What you really, really need is a good sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and you’ve got a beautiful daughter who needs her daddy in the morning 💚

[Jones28]

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Feeling really **** today, been building for a few days/week.

as I’ve said on another thread, I’m in the midst of a redundancy process, the last week or so it has become clearer that I’m more likely to go than stay.

in the last few days, I’ve found a lump on my stomach (seems more likely to be a hernia than cancer, docs tomorrow to confirm), my 1 year daughter has been really unwell, leading to all of us having to get COVID tested, negative for all of us but horrible trying to swab the wee one, then had to take her to hospital at 3am yesterday with some kind of viral infection causing a nasty rash on her back and chest and under her hair.

I'm the rep for my constituency in the consultation, and despite doing my best, some of them went ape**** today in what’s likely to be the last collective meeting, and essentially accused me of having some kind of agenda, all because they hadn’t listened to last weeks meeting properly (I don’t, they just didn’t listen to clear instructions last week). Left me feeling pretty upset and angry, especially when no one else would do the rep role so I stepped up, came close to telling them where to go

all in all, it’s been a really crappy, exhausting and soul destroying week, and there’s a reasonably strong thought in my head that everyone would be better off if I shuffled off this coil, life insurance pays off the house and if I go before I’m made redundant, my pension pays out 4 times my salary to my mrs and wee one.

No amount of money would make up for the pain and anguish the people you’d leave behind would suffer from.

You’re having a really really ****ty week by the sounds of it. Try not to focus on the past. It sounds hard but these people who are about to lose their jobs just see you as a figure head they can aim their anger at. Fair play to you for standing up to do it, I don’t think I would. I would try not to take any of it personally, people say all kinds of **** when they’re angry.

The health stuff sucks, my daughter had a really nasty reaction to dairy and it sounds like she had something not too dissimilar to your wee one. It’s horrid but you’ve just got to love them and help them through it. It can be distressing but she needs her daddy to keep her safe.

As for the job situation, if you’ve checked out maybe it’s time to look into other options already. I’d certainly feel that way if the vibes aren’t positive ones. Try to take it one day at a time.

This is just one of many responses I’m sure you’ll get and I hope we can all be of some help, even if it is just someone to rant at.

[G B Young]

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Feeling really **** today, been building for a few days/week.

as I’ve said on another thread, I’m in the midst of a redundancy process, the last week or so it has become clearer that I’m more likely to go than stay.

in the last few days, I’ve found a lump on my stomach (seems more likely to be a hernia than cancer, docs tomorrow to confirm), my 1 year daughter has been really unwell, leading to all of us having to get COVID tested, negative for all of us but horrible trying to swab the wee one, then had to take her to hospital at 3am yesterday with some kind of viral infection causing a nasty rash on her back and chest and under her hair.

I'm the rep for my constituency in the consultation, and despite doing my best, some of them went ape**** today in what’s likely to be the last collective meeting, and essentially accused me of having some kind of agenda, all because they hadn’t listened to last weeks meeting properly (I don’t, they just didn’t listen to clear instructions last week). Left me feeling pretty upset and angry, especially when no one else would do the rep role so I stepped up, came close to telling them where to go

all in all, it’s been a really crappy, exhausting and soul destroying week, and there’s a reasonably strong thought in my head that everyone would be better off if I shuffled off this coil, life insurance pays off the house and if I go before I’m made redundant, my pension pays out 4 times my salary to my mrs and wee one.

Please try to look at the consequences of that from their perspective. No amount of insurance or pension money makes up for that sort of loss. You have so much more to offer by being around for them.

[tmb1875]

I get you man life seems beyond hard at times, you feel like everything’s out to get you. Your not on your own there’s tons of people just like you feeling the same. Just keep pushing through mate, you’ll get to the other side and be stronger for it. No amount of money can replace you. Daughter needs her dad to be there for her


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[One Day Soon]

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Feeling really **** today, been building for a few days/week.

as I’ve said on another thread, I’m in the midst of a redundancy process, the last week or so it has become clearer that I’m more likely to go than stay.

in the last few days, I’ve found a lump on my stomach (seems more likely to be a hernia than cancer, docs tomorrow to confirm), my 1 year daughter has been really unwell, leading to all of us having to get COVID tested, negative for all of us but horrible trying to swab the wee one, then had to take her to hospital at 3am yesterday with some kind of viral infection causing a nasty rash on her back and chest and under her hair.

I'm the rep for my constituency in the consultation, and despite doing my best, some of them went ape**** today in what’s likely to be the last collective meeting, and essentially accused me of having some kind of agenda, all because they hadn’t listened to last weeks meeting properly (I don’t, they just didn’t listen to clear instructions last week). Left me feeling pretty upset and angry, especially when no one else would do the rep role so I stepped up, came close to telling them where to go

all in all, it’s been a really crappy, exhausting and soul destroying week, and there’s a reasonably strong thought in my head that everyone would be better off if I shuffled off this coil, life insurance pays off the house and if I go before I’m made redundant, my pension pays out 4 times my salary to my mrs and wee one.

There is absolutely nothing worth more to a child than the presence and love of their parents. Both the immediate contact and familiar reassurance and also all of the long term nurture and support. More negatively, that child would be left with a whole host of unanswered and unanswerable questions by the absence and the act. You have a value and importance and centrality to her life that cannot be measured and isn't finite. Money can't even come close to replacing that. You are literally irreplaceable.

You're having a really tough time and there is nothing wrong or unreasonable in you feeling really down in these circumstances. I have been there: redundancy, acute financial problems, feelings of parental inadequacy, even being the TU rep who ends up becoming the focal point for other the anger of other people who feel powerless and vulnerable. Trust me, you can get through this and there is a much, much better future somewhere on the other side of it.

Pedantic is right, sleep firstly and your daughter tomorrow and every day. My mantra is as simplified as a I can make it to try to help myself to be able to take action so that something at least is under my control even if external events are not. The mantra is sleep, move, eat. Every day.

Doesn't matter if the sleep is not perfect, the exercise not extreme and the food not the best. If you can force yourself to do those things in some kind of routine it will help you to help yourself.

I don't have magic answers but I do know its possible to get beyond it even when it doesn't feel like it, step by step.

[GreenNWhiteArmy]

Been a tough day. Informed that my job is at risk and looking likely to go down the redundancy route unless we can find something within the next 4 weeks

With a house move on the horizon, this is as welcome as a fart in an astronauts suit.

All the emotions run through your head, and im torn - i don't like my job. I want to change career anyway, but the uncertainty causes nervousness.

Maybe when I wake up tomorrow I'll see the positives outweighing the negatives and to invest my time in forcing the career change I desire but i can't shake the feeling of letting my girls down (missus and 2 young kids)

[stu in nottingham]

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Feeling really **** today, been building for a few days/week.

as I’ve said on another thread, I’m in the midst of a redundancy process, the last week or so it has become clearer that I’m more likely to go than stay.

in the last few days, I’ve found a lump on my stomach (seems more likely to be a hernia than cancer, docs tomorrow to confirm), my 1 year daughter has been really unwell, leading to all of us having to get COVID tested, negative for all of us but horrible trying to swab the wee one, then had to take her to hospital at 3am yesterday with some kind of viral infection causing a nasty rash on her back and chest and under her hair.

I'm the rep for my constituency in the consultation, and despite doing my best, some of them went ape**** today in what’s likely to be the last collective meeting, and essentially accused me of having some kind of agenda, all because they hadn’t listened to last weeks meeting properly (I don’t, they just didn’t listen to clear instructions last week). Left me feeling pretty upset and angry, especially when no one else would do the rep role so I stepped up, came close to telling them where to go

all in all, it’s been a really crappy, exhausting and soul destroying week, and there’s a reasonably strong thought in my head that everyone would be better off if I shuffled off this coil, life insurance pays off the house and if I go before I’m made redundant, my pension pays out 4 times my salary to my mrs and wee one.

My friend, I am so sorry to hear of what you have been going through. These things coming together must have felt truly overwhelming just recently for you. I want you to know I am here for a chat, just say and i will give you a call or write anytime.

Try to approach things one a time, I know that's not necessarily easy but make it your goal wherever possible. People are certainly typically under stress of late for obvious reasons. Try to keep that in mind and remember how it directs their behaviour. Think of it as unconditional positive regard - people are only behaving as well as they are able in these times.

Let me talk a little about those suicidal thoughts for a moment if I may. Our friends that have already posted in response are quite correct. It won't necessarily help you right now to understand but the effects on a 'suicide survivor' - being a survivor of a loved one who has taken their own life can be grave. I am not a child but when it happened to me it took me also a good while to learn how to want to carry on living after that kind of loss. A loss that never really goes away. One that can never be truly understood and one which necessarily leaves unanswered questions. Instead, try to think of your young one as your protective factor when you have these feelings, whenever you are able.

Keep that Samaritans number in your wallet, they're there to talk 24 hours a day and are great people, contact your GP for a wee chat and talk to your friends here and elsewhere where you feel able.

The very best option for you at this time is to talk, I firmly believe that. I know you can emerge from this difficult time and come to flourish again. Here for you mate.

[stu in nottingham]

McD, maybe just let us know you're okay and safe mate?

Realise you may not be in a good place to talk, that's okay.

Cheers, Stu

[McD]

Hi everyone, apologies if I've had you worried, its been a crazy morning dealing with the immediate stuff going on.


Had a really rough night, couldnt sleep from envisaging getting dragged into some kind of disciplinary due to the nonsense being shrieked during the consultation meeting, and ending up losing my job with no redundancy.

Spoke with a friend, and my boss this morning who told me that wouldn't happen, and that I should try to focus on the people who were appreciating what I was doing rather the odd one or 2 who are just lashing out in anger without any constructive points.

Went to the doc's appt who confirmed its a hernia.

Afterwards I had a long chat with the HR rep who has also confirmed that my fears were unfounded, and has confirmed that my actions are more than appropriate, and gave me some advice to respond to those individuals, which was relieving and helpful.

I'm feeling a good deal less stressed and uptight than I was, albeit still carrying a lot of it.



I want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who replied and commented, I'm genuinely touched and so appreciative, thank you. All of your comments have rung true for me, I've often been the one making the same points to others, on here and elsewhere, but sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're feeling pretty swamped, so I thank you all for taking the time and care to do that and help me see a bit clearer

[stu in nottingham]

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Hi everyone, apologies if I've had you worried, its been a crazy morning dealing with the immediate stuff going on.


Had a really rough night, couldnt sleep from envisaging getting dragged into some kind of disciplinary due to the nonsense being shrieked during the consultation meeting, and ending up losing my job with no redundancy.

Spoke with a friend, and my boss this morning who told me that wouldn't happen, and that I should try to focus on the people who were appreciating what I was doing rather the odd one or 2 who are just lashing out in anger without any constructive points.

Went to the doc's appt who confirmed its a hernia.

Afterwards I had a long chat with the HR rep who has also confirmed that my fears were unfounded, and has confirmed that my actions are more than appropriate, and gave me some advice to respond to those individuals, which was relieving and helpful.

I'm feeling a good deal less stressed and uptight than I was, albeit still carrying a lot of it.



I want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who replied and commented, I'm genuinely touched and so appreciative, thank you. All of your comments have rung true for me, I've often been the one making the same points to others, on here and elsewhere, but sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're feeling pretty swamped, so I thank you all for taking the time and care to do that and help me see a bit clearer

Good to hear from you mate and especially regarding one or two encouraging signs might I say. Realise there's still stuff to work through but you sound a lot more optimistic today. Keep it going.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Hi everyone, apologies if I've had you worried, its been a crazy morning dealing with the immediate stuff going on.


Had a really rough night, couldnt sleep from envisaging getting dragged into some kind of disciplinary due to the nonsense being shrieked during the consultation meeting, and ending up losing my job with no redundancy.

Spoke with a friend, and my boss this morning who told me that wouldn't happen, and that I should try to focus on the people who were appreciating what I was doing rather the odd one or 2 who are just lashing out in anger without any constructive points.

Went to the doc's appt who confirmed its a hernia.

Afterwards I had a long chat with the HR rep who has also confirmed that my fears were unfounded, and has confirmed that my actions are more than appropriate, and gave me some advice to respond to those individuals, which was relieving and helpful.

I'm feeling a good deal less stressed and uptight than I was, albeit still carrying a lot of it.



I want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who replied and commented, I'm genuinely touched and so appreciative, thank you. All of your comments have rung true for me, I've often been the one making the same points to others, on here and elsewhere, but sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're feeling pretty swamped, so I thank you all for taking the time and care to do that and help me see a bit clearer

That's the essence of it, of course. And, you know that

When we're in that primitive part of the brain, our 3 F's kick in (fight, flight or freeze. One client suggested to me that there's a 4th one, ie **** it.) That's obviously where you went.

Like I say, from today's perspective, you know what you did, and why. And that, in itself, is a great asset. Hang on to it.

[One Day Soon]

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Hi everyone, apologies if I've had you worried, its been a crazy morning dealing with the immediate stuff going on.


Had a really rough night, couldnt sleep from envisaging getting dragged into some kind of disciplinary due to the nonsense being shrieked during the consultation meeting, and ending up losing my job with no redundancy.

Spoke with a friend, and my boss this morning who told me that wouldn't happen, and that I should try to focus on the people who were appreciating what I was doing rather the odd one or 2 who are just lashing out in anger without any constructive points.

Went to the doc's appt who confirmed its a hernia.

Afterwards I had a long chat with the HR rep who has also confirmed that my fears were unfounded, and has confirmed that my actions are more than appropriate, and gave me some advice to respond to those individuals, which was relieving and helpful.

I'm feeling a good deal less stressed and uptight than I was, albeit still carrying a lot of it.



I want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who replied and commented, I'm genuinely touched and so appreciative, thank you. All of your comments have rung true for me, I've often been the one making the same points to others, on here and elsewhere, but sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're feeling pretty swamped, so I thank you all for taking the time and care to do that and help me see a bit clearer

Great to hear. Stick in buddy.

[Jones28]

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Hi everyone, apologies if I've had you worried, its been a crazy morning dealing with the immediate stuff going on.


Had a really rough night, couldnt sleep from envisaging getting dragged into some kind of disciplinary due to the nonsense being shrieked during the consultation meeting, and ending up losing my job with no redundancy.

Spoke with a friend, and my boss this morning who told me that wouldn't happen, and that I should try to focus on the people who were appreciating what I was doing rather the odd one or 2 who are just lashing out in anger without any constructive points.

Went to the doc's appt who confirmed its a hernia.

Afterwards I had a long chat with the HR rep who has also confirmed that my fears were unfounded, and has confirmed that my actions are more than appropriate, and gave me some advice to respond to those individuals, which was relieving and helpful.

I'm feeling a good deal less stressed and uptight than I was, albeit still carrying a lot of it.



I want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who replied and commented, I'm genuinely touched and so appreciative, thank you. All of your comments have rung true for me, I've often been the one making the same points to others, on here and elsewhere, but sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're feeling pretty swamped, so I thank you all for taking the time and care to do that and help me see a bit clearer

Good to hear mate 👍🏻

[McD]

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Good to hear from you mate and especially regarding one or two encouraging signs might I say. Realise there's still stuff to work through but you sound a lot more optimistic today. Keep it going.

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That's the essence of it, of course. And, you know that

When we're in that primitive part of the brain, our 3 F's kick in (fight, flight or freeze. One client suggested to me that there's a 4th one, ie **** it.) That's obviously where you went.

Like I say, from today's perspective, you know what you did, and why. And that, in itself, is a great asset. Hang on to it.

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Great to hear. Stick in buddy.

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Good to hear mate 👍🏻

thanks guys, genuinely appreciated

[jonty]

Good to hear from you McD.
We should make it mandatory for everyone to check in each day

I dont post much as I often think i'm not contributing much, or just echoing other peoples words. I often default to trying to make light of many things and not take things too seriously (if you cant laugh at life, well......)

Keep posting, we're all listening (if not saying much)
And you too Brian (every time I see the link 'alittlebitofdickie'....... )


(see, im doing it again)

[Pedantic_Hibee]

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Good to hear from you McD.
We should make it mandatory for everyone to check in each day

I dont post much as I often think i'm not contributing much, or just echoing other peoples words. I often default to trying to make light of many things and not take things too seriously (if you cant laugh at life, well......)

Keep posting, we're all listening (if not saying much)
And you too Brian (every time I see the link 'alittlebitofdickie'....... )


(see, im doing it again)

😂😂😂

I coined the phrase back in my younger single days where I once said to a friend that a lady in question deserved “a little bit of Dickie”.

She was not disappointed. Mainly because she didn’t take me up on my offer 🥴

[jonty]

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😂😂😂

I coined the phrase back in my younger single days where I once said to a friend that a lady in question deserved “a little bit of Dickie”.

She was not disappointed. Mainly because she didn’t take me up on my offer 🥴

She missed out there.

[Santa Cruz]

Keep posting guys. There’s a lot more following.

[stu in nottingham]

A few thoughts on a difficult subject.

Suicide: Risk Factors, Warning Signs And How To Talk To A Person With Suicide Ideation

[McD]

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Good to hear from you McD.
We should make it mandatory for everyone to check in each day

I dont post much as I often think i'm not contributing much, or just echoing other peoples words. I often default to trying to make light of many things and not take things too seriously (if you cant laugh at life, well......)

Keep posting, we're all listening (if not saying much)
And you too Brian (every time I see the link 'alittlebitofdickie'....... )


(see, im doing it again)

sometimes it’s really uplifting and heartening just to see some people you’ve probably never met reach out and offer support in any form, and helps you to see a bit more light than you were before, and it’s probably quite cathartic to follow up and confirm that you’re doing a bit better and be able to acknowledge that to yourself, or even to say that you’re not doing better and that it’s ok to acknowledge to yourself that you aren’t and hopefully be able to seek help or take up an offer of such from some of the terrific people here.

I think for some of us, it can be easier to open up a bit on here, where there’s such a clear history of unconditional support, than to try to talk to friends or loved ones who we know are also dealing with stuff or who we maybe suspect won’t be quite as empathetic as we need in that moment, and also sometimes that bit of anonymity can help too.