Only an Excuse

[staunchhibby]

Was the best programme of the night

[Spike Mandela]

Watched it with sound down and subtitles on, just glancing at the screen fro time to time. Surprisingly cliche Macca, Chick Young free from what I could see.

Actually chuckled at the Greta Thunberg sketch of her parents taking advantage of her absence by having all the lights on and the heating up full bung.😀

[Northernhibee]

How to make an Only an Excuse joke:

1 - Pick a character. Doesn’t matter if you can’t do an impression of them, just put on a variation of the same Weegie accent that you do for every character. You can get wigs off EBay from three quid and that’s all being an impressionist is about.

2 - Write the joke. Doesn’t matter if it’s not funny, unoriginal, doesn’t have a punchline, just get it down on paper. No need to work on it to turn it into a fully formed joke. In fact, if you can’t be arsed, just recycle them from last year. Jokes never get less funny with time.

3 - Perform the joke. Try to perform it with the subtlety and nuance of a pished hornet in a nursery.

4 - No matter which character you’re playing, pull a funny face at the end like Queen Budge is having a rummage around your trousers with a handful of drawing pins. Keep that face up for longer than is comfortable.

5 - Collect your cheque from BBC Glasgow. Don’t watch any sport during the next twelve months as fresh, relevant ideas are the antithesis of good comedy.

[JimBHibees]

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***** as usual



Only bit that wouldve come close to raising a smile was the police at ibrox bit. Because its true.

Yep that wasn't a joke it was factual.

[JimBHibees]

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How to make an Only an Excuse joke:

1 - Pick a character. Doesn’t matter if you can’t do an impression of them, just put on a variation of the same Weegie accent that you do for every character. You can get wigs off EBay from three quid and that’s all being an impressionist is about.

2 - Write the joke. Doesn’t matter if it’s not funny, unoriginal, doesn’t have a punchline, just get it down on paper. No need to work on it to turn it into a fully formed joke. In fact, if you can’t be arsed, just recycle them from last year. Jokes never get less funny with time.

3 - Perform the joke. Try to perform it with the subtlety and nuance of a pished hornet in a nursery.

4 - No matter which character you’re playing, pull a funny face at the end like Queen Budge is having a rummage around your trousers with a handful of drawing pins. Keep that face up for longer than is comfortable.

5 - Collect your cheque from BBC Glasgow. Don’t watch any sport during the next twelve months as fresh, relevant ideas are the antithesis of good comedy.

Spot on the Steven Gerrard impersonation was horrific only way you knew who it was him was the initials on the Rangers coat.

[greenlex]

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Spot on the Steven Gerrard impersonation was horrific only way you knew who it was him was the initials on the Rangers coat.

Same with SteveClark in the Killie hat.

[ACLeith]

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Spot on the Steven Gerrard impersonation was horrific only way you knew who it was him was the initials on the Rangers coat.

A good impersonation can save a rubbish script. A good script can save a rubbish impersonation. But a rubbish script and rubbish impersonation? That described most if the show.

To find something positive the Thunberg sketch was quite clever and raised a smile- that was the sum total for me.

[Weegreenman]

Needs scrapped. Very poor and not worthy anymore of a New Year’s Eve slot.
Not to say that it was never funny, I do remember once upon a time to looking forward to it. Not anymore!

[pollution]

I was sober at the time it was on and it really conforms to type.

Desperate for a laugh and dull. Unfortunately there was nothing else to watch.

Do the actors get paid for this??

[Sir David Gray]

The fact that so many people seem to have watched it long enough to have slated it explains why it continues to be aired every year.

If people continue to watch it then the BBC will continue to show it.

[ACLeith]

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The fact that so many people seem to have watched it long enough to have slated it explains why it continues to be aired every year.

If people continue to watch it then the BBC will continue to show it.

I recorded it and watched it this morning, to see if it was as bad as folk said. First time for many years. Tony Roper was the real star of the show long ago.

[Cataplana]

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The fact that so many people seem to have watched it long enough to have slated it explains why it continues to be aired every year.

If people continue to watch it then the BBC will continue to show it.

Tell that to Jackie Bird. Axed after 25 excruciating years.

[Pretty Boy]

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The fact that so many people seem to have watched it long enough to have slated it explains why it continues to be aired every year.

If people continue to watch it then the BBC will continue to show it.

I watch it so I can participate in the annual Hibs.net thread about OAE. Highlight of the year.

[Greenbeard]

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How to make an Only an Excuse joke:

1 - Pick a character. Doesn’t matter if you can’t do an impression of them, just put on a variation of the same Weegie accent that you do for every character. You can get wigs off EBay from three quid and that’s all being an impressionist is about.

2 - Write the joke. Doesn’t matter if it’s not funny, unoriginal, doesn’t have a punchline, just get it down on paper. No need to work on it to turn it into a fully formed joke. In fact, if you can’t be arsed, just recycle them from last year. Jokes never get less funny with time.

3 - Perform the joke. Try to perform it with the subtlety and nuance of a pished hornet in a nursery.

4 - No matter which character you’re playing, pull a funny face at the end like Queen Budge is having a rummage around your trousers with a handful of drawing pins. Keep that face up for longer than is comfortable.

5 - Collect your cheque from BBC Glasgow. Don’t watch any sport during the next twelve months as fresh, relevant ideas are the antithesis of good comedy.

Sorry but that is just OTT.
OTT in kindness. It's miles worse than you make out.

[Scouse Hibee]

Just finishid watching it, utter ****** never raised one laugh, struggling if you can’t even get an impersonation to at least sound like Gerrard.

[Stanton Spence]

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What channel was this on

BBC one Billy

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[Stanton Spence]

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BBC one Billy

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Sorry I was talking about only an excuse, I watched the program about the adverts but can't remember if that was on ITV lol

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[Billy Whizz]

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BBC one Billy

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Thanks, just saw BillyHibs post above too

[Cabbage-Patch]

Just skimmed through it on catch up. Absolutely brutal it's not even really about the football anymore. Outdated and needs binned

[Baader]

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Same with SteveClark in the Killie hat.

When you actually have to say the name of the person you are supposed to be impersonating, the games up. Car crash stuff again. So, so bad.

[heretoday]

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Was the best programme of the night

It was great to see Stanley Baxter again. Cut above the rubbish that passes for Scottish comedy these days.

[Since452]

Watched Jules Holland instead. Really good. The Hogmanay stuff is brutal

[Deansy]

The whole 'Scottish New Year' thing on TV is in dire need of a shake-up - it's 2020 ffs !. We have top-class, modern-day comedians/musicians etc that could/should be used so why are we still having to endure the likes of Jackie Bird's 'probably recorded in Summer' crap ??

[green day]

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The whole 'Scottish New Year' thing on TV is in dire need of a shake-up - it's 2020 ffs !. We have top-class, modern-day comedians/musicians etc that could/should be used so why are we still having to endure the likes of Jackie Bird's 'probably recorded in Summer' crap ??

I am not sure if JB was actually on?

The shows I saw were hosted by Susan Calman (glasgow, I think), Des Clark did the entire Edinburgh / Mark Ronson / Fireworks thing, and they had someone up in Stonehaven for the fire flinging thingy.

I didnt see JB......thankfully

[Keith_M]

I did my bit for TV entertainment and didn't watch it.

[Cataplana]

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I am not sure if JB was actually on?

The shows I saw were hosted by Susan Calman (glasgow, I think), Des Clark did the entire Edinburgh / Mark Ronson / Fireworks thing, and they had someone up in Stonehaven for the fire flinging thingy.

I didnt see JB......thankfully

She got the bullet.

[hibbyfraelibby]

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I am not sure if JB was actually on?

The shows I saw were hosted by Susan Calman (glasgow, I think), Des Clark did the entire Edinburgh / Mark Ronson / Fireworks thing, and they had someone up in Stonehaven for the fire flinging thingy.

I didnt see JB......thankfully

The Jaikey Burd has been ditched by the Bearsden Broadcasting Corporation

[Lago]

Let's be brutally honest, the so called hogmanay thing is well past it's sell by date, I would guess there are fewer & fewer people who remember new year house parties first footing the neighbours right after the bells etc.
What you have now is aTV producers idea of a Scottish New Year.

[heretoday]

Before the bells BBC Scotland had boring old Travis Why Does It Always Rain On Me and a couch with some bearded men and a woman on it. After the bells we had some drippy female called Julie Fowlis with the depressives version of Auld Lang Syne. It got faster to be fair.
2020 can only improve!

[supermcginn]

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Before the bells BBC Scotland had boring old Travis Why Does It Always Rain On Me and a couch with some bearded men and a woman on it. After the bells we had some drippy female called Julie Fowlis with the depressives version of Auld Lang Syne. It got faster to be fair.
2020 can only improve!

One of the best groups Scotland has ever produced and two stars from line of duty and one from still game, 2 of the BBC's most watched programmes ever. Yeah awful.