How would you deal with being diagnosed as terminally ill?

[Mr Grieves]

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Wholeheartedly agree with you that everyone's entitled to believe whatever they wish and I don't use the "as a scientist" as some dismissal of religion in its entirety. The relevance is that being a scientist comes with a certain way of thinking, of processing information and arriving at informed conclusions. In the absence of any evidence of something, Occam's Razor takes effect and the conclusion is simple - that it doesn't exist.

Anyway, not wishing to tangent the thread, which is a pretty profound question about mortality. Just wanted to address your remark with my perspective. No worries at all if you disagree or don't share my view

I work in a lab with a few devoutly religious folk that have backgrounds in a number of different scientific disciplines. I don't get it myself but "scientists" with religious beliefs are a lot more common than you think.

Anyway, back on topic. I lost my uncle to cancer around 6 months ago. He was given 2 years when he was first diagnosed and he was positive basically bringing forward his retirement plans and cashing in his pensions to fund it. The first few months were ok, he was doing whatever he wanted, catching up with old friends and enjoying the time he had left.

6 months after the diagnosis it all went down hill due to the chemo.
One health issue after another and he was spending more time in hospital than out. There was a massive change in his mental attitude - the positivity went and he was really irritable. His last few months were the worst thing I have ever witnessed, it breaks my heart thinking about what he had to go through.

I just don't think you can say how you'd deal with a terminal illness until you're in that position.


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[Finn2015]

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Believe me, age doesn't soften the blow if you're otherwise fit and mentally agile.

Fair enough and I'm sure you are speaking from the heart but there it is so tragic when people pass away who are so young. Was watching a documentary earlier this week about a soldier who served in Afghanistan and how his family brought back the dog to the UK that he had befriended in that country. The soldier died after being shot by a sniper and he was only 23. I don't know, just honestly shocked and its sobering when you see people as young as that with their whole lives ahead of them having that taken away. That's all I meant by it, not looking argue or say those who pass after what is considered a long or full life is not upsetting or a deep loss, just really find it tragic when people have their lives snatched away at such young ages. Hope that makes sense

[Billy McKirdy]

My workmate was diagnosed with terminal cancer two years ago, as a relatively young man in his mid 40s with a young family he bravely went through the chemo and radio therapy in an effort to prolong his life, what was remarkable was his determination to continue working throughout his treatment as it was important for him to maintain a normality about his life, he was given the hammer blow at the turn of this year that his cancer had spread but he refused to stop working and was still working full time a month before his death.
I think different people deal with it in different ways and for him it was business as usual almost up to the end.

[Lucius Apuleius]

I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

[#FromTheCapital]

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I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

So sorry to hear that LA. I admire your strength. The fact that you're determined to keep fighting and still seeing the positive side of life deserves a lot of respect. All the best to you.

[Hibrandenburg]

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I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

I really hope I can show similar strength to that what you've shown should I be in a similar situation LA. In the last few weeks I've lost 2 friends who were taking part in sport at the time and their deaths have devastated the families because it came completely out of the blue.

Hope the time you have left is as positive as can be given the situation and there's still scope to create positive new memories. GGTTH

[Finn2015]

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I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

Much admiration and respect. 👍

[Ergye]

This is a wonderful book that has helped countless people deal with and understand death.

It's been adopted by institutions, centers and groups of various kinds, educational, medical and spiritual the world over.

Nurses, doctors and those involved with care for the dying around the world integrate it's methods in to their daily work. It can transform lives, and deaths.

I can send it to anyone who wants it. PM me.

with love.