One for both this and the pet peeves thread.....

When the cockneys and Essex mob arrive in any holiday resort the noise goes up a few decibels. A week or so of peace, background chatter and just people having a good time with Scots, Geordies, scousers, mancs etc all getting along nicely.

A Gatwick flight must have arrived yesterday as for the last 2 days the cast of EastEnders is bellowing at each other. Not the 1st time I have experienced this either.

I was up early as I am every day, an hour on the sun lounger with my book before the family rise. Guy next to me spots his mate on the other side of the pool and they proceed to scream at the top of their voices at each other:

MAWNING MATE
MAWNING
'OW'S IT GOING
NOT BAD MATE, NOT BAD
GOT YOU 2 LOUNGERS ROUND ERE
TOP MAN, TOP MAN
WHAT YOU DO FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
LOVELY FISH AND CHIPS AT THAT PLACE ROUND THE CORNER
NICE ONE. WHAT TIMES THE OLD LADY COMING DOWN?
SHE'LL BE ROUND NOW

He then walks round the pool and they stand next to each other, still shouting admittedly but not as bad. A whole conversation that must have woken half the complex when they then sat on their erses next to each other for the next 6 hours.