The Yamasaurus 1st Edition

[Domino]

Yamschadenfreude

–noun - Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of Yams.

[Sir David Gray]

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Yam-Roundup - A gathering of yams (see yams) to discuss all things yamish (see yamish)


Example



Dicksack.co.uk

Cheers, I had almost forgotten about that pathetic website until I clicked on that link.

[1two]

Yamling - A young yam

[The Keeper]

Yam Superstitious West of Edinburgh spelling of the so called "cursed month" of May when Sir Albert of Kidd did shaft the Yams in the land beyond the Tay

[Speedway]

Yamakemewanna (Shout) (Toothy, Insipid)

Lulu's unsuccessful remake of her classic hit which got her dropped from her record label

Yamish McAlpine (Stopper, Safehands)

Lesser known brother of Dundee Utd stalwart, spent his entire career at Tannadice as sixth choice everything.

The Legend of Yamalot (Coward Turncoat)

Middle ages leader of many (until he turned round) his motto was 'When the going gets tough', HOOF!!

[jonty]

Yamicon: a small graphic used to represent something in relation to a yam.

example:

[SvenNeil]

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'Yamcheque' n. non-existant/bounced payment ie 'I received a Yamcheque'

'Yamology' n. new unfounded idiology similar to Scientology.

'Yamolestation' n. Seedy management technique to attract females.

'Yamustbekiddin' n. realisation of an unseen debt/non acceptance of said debt

'A Yammy' n. pathetic fight involving windmilling and handbags at ten paces.

...seen frequently between Yams followng AGM's.

[SvenNeil]

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Yamling - A young yam

Yamikins - an even younger Yam / term of affection

[SvenNeil]

Amatueur Yamatics - Term to describe semi-skilled footballers who pretend to be a professional outfit. Known to dive frequently during said performance.

[Hibercelona]

Yamabolical - a football team in the west side of Edinburgh City who uses devilish schemes to win a game, and is owned by a man who goes by the name of "Vladimir Romanov", who is commonly also known as "the devil"

[Speedway]

Yamstrad (Nostalgic, Affordable)

The home computer choice of every PBS attendee.

[GreenandGlaikit]

Yamtax: "A financial penalty incurred through gross Internet stupidity. Frequently levied by sporting authorities like the SFA"

Yamappeal: "A forlorn hope, an absurd plea of mitigation which is normally ignored"

Yamosecond: "A unit of Time, the last possible instant in which a due Bill can be paid without incurring legal proceedings"

[borders.cabbage]

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Yamtax: "A financial penalty incurred through gross Internet stupidity. Frequently levied by sporting authorities like the SFA"

Yamappeal: "A forlorn hope, an absurd plea of mitigation which is normally ignored"

Yamosecond: "A unit of Time, the last possible instant in which a due Bill can be paid without incurring legal proceedings"

The best so far.

[jacomo]

Yamemory: catch-all explanation for things turning out not quite as you thought they would do.

Example: "Eh, wis it no this year we were supposed to be winning the SPL? With a couple of World Cup stars in the team?"

"Nah, that's yamemory that's playing up. If you remember, Vlad didn't promise any world cup stars, and the Intertoto Cup is a prestigious next step in our progress towards world domination."

"Eh, aye. Must be my mind playing tricks on me, an that. I'm off to buy my season ticket."

[ancienthibby]

Some more Yamisms for consideration!

Yamthropology: The very new academic discipline devoted to the study of Yams, their customs, origins and reasons for being. Social anthropologists are said to be quivering with th excitement at the prospect of learning more about this ancient tribe.
Yamming: The collective sound made by two or three Yams conversing with each others. David Bellamy is said to have likened it to the sound of ten thousand gaggling geese.
Yamfisted: The latest attempt of the Yams to get to grips with modern technology. Yams have discovered that using a Yam forehead (preferably someone else's is very time consuming, but that the use of two fists instead can take twice as long to type twice as much! Yams have also discovered one added benefit on that saving the forehead from this task preserves its use for making fraternal greeting to their revered tribal ancestors, the Glasgow Yamgers.
...to be continued.

[Peevemor]

Yamaw Mother of a yam. Single parent. Has a face that only a yamaw could love.

Yamuthafugga Paying client of a yamaw.

[The Keeper]

Yamabolic Steroid Drug outlawed worlwide after mass experiment in west of Edinburgh, Scotland, had devastating effects on population. They came to believe anything

[Peevemor]

Yamalamadingdong See yammy, Levein/Hogg Starks Park.

[Monts]

Yambeatable
The unfounded opinion that a team cannot be beaten. Such an opinion may cause involuntary chants and deluded over-confidence. It is usually followed by a pumping from their oldest rivals.

Yam-league
The true, just league table compiled by the honourable owner of a club. It takes into account referee mistakes, player simulation and media opinion. Hearts are currently fighting relegation.

Yamslation
The art in which a translator can relay what has been said in such a way as to make slight mistranslations. This is mainly used as an insurance policy in order for any discrepencies to be dismissed out of hand when questioned.

Yambilical chord
The piece of fibrous tissue which determines the life of a HOMFC follower. It is disfunctional and causes malnutrition to the brain. It is also the cause of facial disfigurement.

[matty_f]

Yamonstration - the act of in-fighting following official club events or organised supporter's group actions. Usually illustrated with comical scraps or even more comical hat-kicking.

Yamalgamtion - the act of slowly ethnically cleansing the Scottish contingent at a team by slowly integrating Lithuanian journeymen.

Yamaloid - The worst type of Yam, makes yer erchie itchy whenever you are in their presence. Usually can be cured by applying cream such as Yamaloids or Preperation Yam. See www.jamboskickback.co.uk for prime examples.


Yamstand - the mythical stadium easily capable of holding in excess of 3 times the world's population, all of whom are Yams. Only exists in the minds of Yamaloids.


Yamarathon - The distance a striker has to run to get on the end of a Craig Gordon kickout (or hoof). Usually it's about 26 miles.

Yambelievable - The inabiltiy to doubt any information coming from the PBS at any point, and the gullability to think that the world's best managers and players would ever, ever consider getting in bed with that lot.

Yamosexual - has no sexual preferences either way, and due to the fact that they are more often than not Yamaloids, unlikely to ever get their Nat King Cole regardless of how unpicky they may be. Drinks in Robertson's bar.

[Peevemor]

Yamabolic Asteroid Lump of space rock, to which the yam nation's collective brain is wired.

[The Keeper]

Yam Beau

Mythical figure, whose non-existence was proved after extensive scientific studies of the facial plook factor in west Edinburgh, Scotland. (See Gordon, Craig: "Wasting Time: My Life In The Shadow of The Plook" 2007. And Colquhoun, John: "Eh but eh eh: Tourettes and Tumshies - a clinical study" 2007.)

[matty_f]

Yamplosion - the point at which an entire football club realises that it's tea's oot, and spontaneously Yambusts. Usually followed by the rest of country wetting themselves laughing.

Yamatubbie - obese Yamaloids - usually seen with maroon t-shirts and matching pusses, children either find them hilarious or horrific. There is no in-between.

Yamstat - the selection of only statistics which suit, in order to maintain the need for assurance that they are the big team.

Yamstation - games console where the fun games are not released, only games with an end result. No enjoyment can be gained by playing this console, only you do get to tell your mates how much better it is than their xbox/playstation/wiis. Enjoys regular updates of the FIFA series, but has never enjoyed Pro Evo.

Yamhole - the underground cavity where most Yams spend their time until they actually have something to shout about, at which point they all come bounding out to tell all and sundry how big they are.

Nineteen Yameighty-six - the year where 4000,0000,0000,000 Yam dreams were shattered by Sir Albert of Kidd.

Yamferiority Complex - the reason Kickback exists. Sufferers believe that if they say something enough it will come true.

[lyonhibs]

Yamanager - a mythical post at Tincastle, filled by a puppet of Romanov's choosing. Credentials for the esteemed post include - absolutely no football knowledge, a willingness to pick up the soap, an a striking resemblence to a sex pest/vampire. A amazing willingness to "mutually consent" to termination of contract and then sign a gagging order are also a must

Yamoney - a strange currency, which constantly undergoes un-ratified devaluations to keep Yams - who inexplicably choose to trade in it - happy that 28 million units of Yamoney of debt is somehow sustainable.

Yamutiny - a event unlikely to ever occur, lest the Yams look between their legs and find a pair of bollocks. Closest you will ever to see to a yamutiny is some drunken squabbling at a sham AGM, a few "Pressley is a legend" flags - rapidly edited to "Pressley is past it" - and the occasional mass twirly, which everyone else thinks is hilariously gay, but no-one has the heart to tell the Yams this. For a point of contrast see "Hands off Hibs" campaign and Wallace Mercer FTB R.I.P

Yam season ticket - a dying breed of ticket, once numerous down Tincastle way, usually in the hands of a blethering idiot trying to convince anyone that would listen about this magical "next level" they were all on the express jet too. Mysteriously, since the implosion of the Romanov regime (choose your date) these have become a rare beast indeed. Projections for their survival rate are grim, with estimates varying between 34 and 4,000 for next season. See also: that fat twat with the Romanov tattoo accross his back.

[matty_f]

Yam-packed - the act of selling out, where selling out means selling your allocation of tickets, rather than chasing a morally-dubious pound. Tynecastle has been Yam-packed for ever. Note that Yam-packed does not, ever, reflect actual ticket sales or attendance. For instance, Easter Road's away end was Yam packed for (I believe it's now gone up to) 2 hours after the game on Sunday.

Yamazed - the show of disbelief when something else that initially looked brilliant turns out to be completely turd.

[Speedway]

Aaahh Mr. Fairnie, we've been expecting you

Yamazulu (Flash in the pan, Signing Policy)

Unpopular band responsible for the little known pop ditties 'Moonlight Romanov' and 'Unexcitable'

Yampon (Without Wings)

Nickname given to traditional matchday strategy of going straight up the middle, never wide.

Yamway (Con, Duped)

MLM scheme available to ST holders at the PBS only. Everyone is part of the downline.

Yambivalent (Recovering, Coming to terms)

A born and bred Yam now staying away from the PBS and questioning their upbringing.

[lyonhibs]

Yambo - mutation of the word Jambo - used to describe supporters/believers of/in Heart of Midlothian Football Club/the religion of Vlad (delete as appropriate) A once proud club, that could trace its roots back to 19th century Edinburgh, a Yambo now finds himself supporting a institution that is used as a debt dumping ground by the ever-optimistic Vlad, who somehow thinks that the financial capital of Europe is going to take kindly to the installation of his mickey mouse Lithuanian bank and Accounting standards that would make ENRON blush. Yambo are divided into 2 breeds. Firstly "fuddusmaximus" who make up the overwhelmingly majority of Hearts fans. They haven't seen a naked man/women (delete as appropriate except in the case of Craig Gordon) since late April 1986 (after which point their world collapsed whilst their trophyless streak of 35 years continued). Secondly "ODJ - ordinary decent Jambo" - a dying breed, who extracted their head from Romanov's rectum just in time, and occasionaly have worthwhile opinions on footballing matters. As such they lurk like a eggy fart around Hibs.net, as sickback.co.uk is constantly broken through mass hat-kicking protests.

[Speedway]

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Yambo - mutation of the word Jambo - used to describe supporters/believers of/in Heart of Midlothian Football Club/the religion of Vlad (delete as appropriate) A once proud club, that could trace its roots back to 19th century Edinburgh, a Yambo now finds himself supporting a institution that is used as a debt dumping ground by the ever-optimistic Vlad, who somehow thinks that the financial capital of Europe is going to take kindly to the installation of his mickey mouse Lithuanian bank and Accounting standards that would make ENRON blush. Yambo are divided into 2 breeds. Firstly "fuddusmaximus" who make up the overwhelmingly majority of Hearts fans. They haven't seen a naked man/women (delete as appropriate except in the case of Craig Gordon) since late April 1986 (after which point their world collapsed whilst their trophyless streak of 35 years continued). Secondly "ODJ - ordinary decent Jambo" - a dying breed, who extracted their head from Romanov's rectum just in time, and occasionaly have worthwhile opinions on footballing matters. As such they lurk like a eggy fart around Hibs.net, as sickback.co.uk is constantly broken through mass hat-kicking protests.

Aaaahh Fuddusmaximus, the original Yam.

[ancienthibby]

Even more Yamisms!

Yamaritians: An Edinburgh charity founded by supporters of '
the 'wee team' to help prevent potential suicide attempts by Yams over the action of their President-for-Life YamVlad Romanov. To date 400,000 calls have been received and 400,000 successes recorded.

Yam-baiting: All things relating to the 'wee team', including board, manager, players and supporters, but, most especially, any newspaper articles published about the 'wee team' in the Scotsman or Evening News. Without Yambaiting, the Yams would not exist.

Yam-foolery: The continuing and unchallengeable ability of a megalomaniacal leader to fool all of the Yams all of the time.

Yamjiggery: The financial position of the Yams;

Yampokery: The never-ending enjoyment supporters of all other clubs get in poking fun every day at the Yams.

There's just no end to this!!

[lyonhibs]

Potential for one of the best threads ever:

Yamugby: Unique take on Rugby Union, currently being cultivated down at Tincastle. Although use of the hands by outfield players is forbidden (most of the time) rumour has it that followers of other FOOTBALL clubs have petitioned the Rugby Commentators Union to re-name a "Gary Owen" - a a punt that goes 3 metres up for every 1 metre along and is aimed in the general direction of a bunch of talentless cloggers - as a "Craig Gordon" in recognition to the SPL's only Lesbian efforts to knock sateillites out of orbit. Potential clash with Vlad's plan to export the hearts brand accross the world (Yammish for "To Lithuania") has lead many to believe the Craig Gordon is angling for a move to a proper football club.