Hollywood truisms

[Hibbyradge]

[Edina Street]

When driving a car always move the steering wheel left-and-right quickly and repeatedly to keep the car steady when driving straight.

[CropleyWasGod]

Sex the first time is always mind-blowing.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

If you are a female running through a wooded area, make sure you wear kneepads and a crash helmet, at some point you're going to fall flat on your puss!

[Pretty Boy]

Creepy stalking and overblown and inappropriate gestures always result in the guy getting the girl rather than a Police caution and a restraining order.

[Hibbyradge]

People brushing their teeth always manage to do so without creating any foam and they certainly never dribble it down their top.

[RyeSloan]

You never need to get a taxi home after being at the bar as you simply just drive home / onto the next scene..

You can get whacked by a steel pole over the back of the head and end up getting punched repeatedly in the face yet still win the fight and merely have a slightly cut face for 5 minutes before making a miraculous recovery.

If you have ever drank alcohol you must have a scene where you are at ‘a meeting’…even better when your ‘chip’ gets you through the day without a drink.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Whenever you're in a scene that involves drinking coffee from a polystyrene cup make sure there's nothing in it so that it sounds empty when you put it down on a table after one swig.

[Pretty Boy]

First contraction to waters breaking to giving birth takes approximately 2 minutes and 30 seconds.

People with no previous training can fire a gun with deadly accuracy and no sign of recoil at the 1st time of asking.

People prepare amazing breakfasts, take one bite from a croissant then leave the rest.

If someone turns on the TV then it's always right at the point when the reporter is starting the news story, never mid sentence, during an ad break or on a channel that they have to change from.

[McD]

People rarely need to use the toilet, but if they do, they will be attacked or something else dramatic.

no one locks their car when they get out, or puts the windows up if they’re down.

Heroes are rarely overly troubled by gunshot wounds or subsequent blood loss, nameless henchmen however will be killed by a single shot.

if anyone is in urgent need of new clothes, whatever they find will always be the right size.

no one ever suffers from tinnitus or such from frequently being close to guns being fired.

cops who don’t play by the rules are always forgiven by the end.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

"Haunted" or "spooky ' houses, can only be investigated at night when it's pitch black dark.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Anybody that commits a crime is called the perp, I've probably watched hundreds of US crime documentaries, don't think I've heard that word once.

[Pretty Boy]

No matter how many times he is proven correct no one ever trusts the maverick cop and his instincts. In the final scenes he'll (once again) be proven to have been right all along and hailed a hero. 'Two years later' when the sequel comes out everyone will have forgotten and he'll be routinely ignored again or told 'you got lucky once'.

[Hibbyradge]

When staking out dangerous criminals, you can do so in your car by parking it directly across the street from them in broad daylight.

[Hibby70]

If you ever end up in water don't worry,your clothes will mysteriously dry within minutes of getting to dry land.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

World War 2 started in December 1941

[Pretty Boy]

Aliens always speak perfect English and always arrive in an English speaking part of the world.

There is always a 'cell phone outage' or 'power outage' when someone needs to call for help regardless of whether it's in downtown LA or the middle of the desert.

Anyone who is not American but is white and a decent person is English. And they either speak like 19th century gentry or a Victorian cockney street urchin.

[J-C]

You can be shot at with hundreds of bullets, fall 30 feet off a roof , then get up and kill 25 baddies with a never ending supply of bullets to your Beretta re John Wick 4.

[Hibbyradge]

Nearly every monster can run faster than a human.

Those that can't have a secret power which engenders in those they are chasing, the compulsion to fall and forget how to get back up quickly.

[Fuzzywuzzy]

"police emergency, we need your car" before taking someone's car. That surely can't be a thing

[Pretty Boy]

People just abandon their cars anywhere. Pull up outside an airport terminal, hospital, police station etc. get out and walk away. Towing companies must have turnovers in the billions.

No matter how often people are told 'whatever happens don't leave the path', at the first sign of trouble they always leave the path.

Security guards are always lazy incompetents who sleep on the job.

[easty]

If you need to make an escape from something, try 2 or 3 cars, the keys will inevitably be under the sun visor of one of them.

[Dan Sarf]

When the script says "eating" that means idly stirring the food around with your fork whilst chewing vigorously. Never put any food in your mouth.

All tea cups and coffee containers must be completely empty when you drink from them.

All drinking vessels must be held with your fingers wrapped round them so that the whole of the back of your hand is facing the audience.

All actors are trained to be able to down an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in a matter of minutes then dash off to solve a crime.

When you take a hearty bite into a burger, just nip a miniscule amount of it off then chew vigorously. (Especially important in TV commercials.)

[Alfiembra]

There must always be someone in the background creating sparks with a grinder whenever a scene is shot in a garage, a building site or the docks.

Bullets do not pass through an upturned wooden table or a sofa and kill the person hiding behind it.

Massive glass windows 50 storeys up in skyscrapers are easily broken to effect an escape.

[Hibrandenburg]

Germans and Russians can't hit a target from 5m distance whereas Brits and Americans could hit an ant's baws from a moving vehicle 2 miles away.

[RyeSloan]

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There must always be someone in the background creating sparks with a grinder whenever a scene is shot in a garage, a building site or the docks.

Bullets do not pass through an upturned wooden table or a sofa and kill the person hiding behind it.

Massive glass windows 50 storeys up in skyscrapers are easily broken to effect an escape.

Aha yes I’d forgotten about the bullet proof household furniture!

I’ll happily add bullet proof family car doors and the fact that someone shooting at a moving vehicle always misses the occupants but definitely will always hit the rear window.

[Fuzzywuzzy]

Watched mad Max today. He was able to drive a manual car with a leg shot to buggery and a broken arm - once that adrenalin kicks in....

[overdrive]

Cops are taught at police academy that it is perfectly sensible to shout a suspect's name from a distance when they first get sight of them, thus allowing the suspect to make a run for it.

Conflict of interest does not exist in police forces and cops/feds can investigate their own friends, family and colleagues as much as they want.

99% of police/federal investigators' time is spent arguing jurisdiction with other agencies rather than investigating cases

Cops aren't suspended or have their firearms taken off them after shooting someone

[overdrive]

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When the script says "eating" that means idly stirring the food around with your fork whilst chewing vigorously. Never put any food in your mouth.

All tea cups and coffee containers must be completely empty when you drink from them.

All drinking vessels must be held with your fingers wrapped round them so that the whole of the back of your hand is facing the audience.

All actors are trained to be able to down an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in a matter of minutes then dash off to solve a crime.

When you take a hearty bite into a burger, just nip a miniscule amount of it off then chew vigorously. (Especially important in TV commercials.)

The Big Bang Theory is really bad for that. They don't even do the chewing part. They just constantly move the food around the plate with a fork

[overdrive]

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If you need to make an escape from something, try 2 or 3 cars, the keys will inevitably be under the sun visor of one of them.

Everybody keeps a spare key under a plant pot or doormat, rendering locking your door absolutely pointless