Gorgie Rules

[1two]

My timeline has been littered with post about “Gorgie Rules” and “Gorgie Rules apply” this week for some unknown reason.

This has got me thinking, just what are the Gorgie rules?

Presumably some sort of local bylaws that are in place around those parts to keep the residents safe?

Can you please help me complete this list of what these Gorgie rules are;

1. Must own a selection of fine quality beige coloured cardigans, plus one maroon version for match days.
2.



(Apologies if this has been done before).

[bigwheel]

Must reference Hibs in an insecure way in any announcement , as we have a major chip on our shoulder about them

[matty_f]

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My timeline has been littered with post about “Gorgie Rules” and “Gorgie Rules apply” this week for some unknown reason.

This has got me thinking, just what are the Gorgie rules?

Presumably some sort of local bylaws that are in place around those parts to keep the residents safe?

Can you please help me complete this list of what these Gorgie rules are;

1. Must own a selection of fine quality beige coloured cardigans, plus one maroon version for match days.
2.



(Apologies if this has been done before).

I’m sure it’s been done before but it’s 100% worth revisiting.

- size is important, you must mask your own inadequacies by loudly proclaiming that you’re “big”, “famous” or both.

- charity begins at home, therefore charity money is your money. Take it as you like.

- washing is optional.

[Alex Trager]

If the question is ‘Gorgie rules what?’ The answer is and always has been ‘ **** all’

[gbhibby]

Must get journalists wet when it rains.

[snedzuk]

Must rake in the bucket for something to eat

[Pagan Hibernia]

Sex to be kept to a minimum, so as not to wake the neighbours in the bungalow next door. Missionary position preferable, none of this continental nonsense. Absolutely no kinky stuff.

[Hibernian Verse]

Employ sex offenders where possible.

[degenerated]

Don't park your rover in the committee's parking spaces at the bowling club.

[Alfiembra]

Residents must never step in a puddle whilst others are drinking from it, in fact residents must never step in a puddle under any circumstances.

[Mcbizz1998]

It seems to be an interchangeable phrase. Sometimes it’s just “Gorgie Rules” as in they are in control of something.

Then sometimes it’s “Gorgie Rules apply” which would mean there is presumably some kind of set of actual rules they follow. So which is it? Either way it’s utter cringe.

[Bostonhibby]

Don't worry about debt, we owe it to ourselves.

Debt can always be made to go away by firing up the oven and knocking out a few battenburgs and fondant fancies.


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[Waxy]

Chips

[007]

Paying creditors is optional.

Ifsomething doesn't go your way, squeal as loud and long as possible. 🐷

[Since452]

Sisters are fair game - Gorgie rules.

[Iain G]

Staircases can just be, they don't need to lead to anywhere.

Pink paint will eventually rust enough to become maroon.

Russian Hats are to be retained in good condition and stored in your wardrobe in the original hat box, ready for the second coming of Saint Vlad.

Everything is the biggliest in Edinburgh and 3rd biggliest in Scotland.

It is perfectly acceptable to ignore convention and invent new methods of measurement and counting to ensure everything appears to be biggliest (or 3rd biggliest).

Ronnie Corbett was the funnier of the Ronnies.

[Bostonhibby]

Always buy shares that are cash only issues and aren't actually issued.

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[Bostonhibby]

Moving into administration should always follow declarations of self sufficiency.

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[Saint Hibee]

... from the back of a taxi.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Substitute the word relegated with demoted at every opportunity.

[Jones28]

Castle views are essential*










Castle views may not apply to actual views of Edinburgh castle as advertised.

[Bostonhibby]

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Substitute the word relegated with demoted at every opportunity.

Always get the finest legal minds to fight being relegated for being in the relegation spot when the season ends.

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[Bostonhibby]

Remember "we just need to beat St Mirren".

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[DIXIHIBS]

You must have a superiority complex and an inferiority complex at the same time.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Go fighting amongst yourselves in the pubs around Tynecastle at about 10pm after any game v Hibs or either Old Firm team.

[Alfred E Newman]

Only buy maroon coloured shirts and jumpers and wear them all the time.
Always drink your coffee from a Hearts mug and have your scarfs and baseball cap hanging in full view of any visitors.
A Hearts programme must be visible and left on the coffee table.
A "Don't follow me follow Hearts" sticker must be in clear view on the rear window of your maroon rover and a Jam Tarts air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.
When in the unfortunate company of any Hibs supporters remember to comment constantly about the Big Team and always chip in with a few 5-1,'s.it always raises a laugh.

[tynehibs]

Stick a pair of socks in the crotch of your maroon slacks and dream of another glorious league cup run

[basehibby]

Cleanliness is next to godliness so remember to lick your windaes clean at least once a week.

Always remember the underlying foundations of success - poppy funds and Lithuanian pensioners' life savings.

[Pagan Hibernia]

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Stick a pair of socks in the crotch of your maroon slacks and dream of another glorious league cup run

😂

[Iain G]

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Always get the finest legal minds to fight being relegated for being in the relegation spot when the season ends.

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An estate agent is actually better than the best Barrister or Lawyer..if Perry Mason was a Jambo he would have rented flats in Roseburn