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  1. #1
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    What's the daftest thing you ever did as a child

    I was reminiscing with my brother about things we remember from when we were really young and the strangest was, when were 3 and 5 y/o respectively, sitting in my Gran's back garden and having a Snail Race.

    We had cousins visiting from Chicago, who I think would have been 4 and 6 y/o, and the four of us sat agog at the Snails 'racing' across the path at the edge of the garden. The excitement of who was going to win was really evident.




    Does anybody else have memories of really daft things they did as a kid?


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  3. #2
    Coaching Staff Smartie's Avatar
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    My best mate growing up was taken out of our school and sent to a private school. All it really did for him was that he got to hang about with a different class of nutter.

    One of his school pals lived on a farm and had access to all sorts of fertiliser. This led, naturally, to him developing an interest in making bombs throughout his teenage years, and he'd blow various bits and pieces up around his farm.

    My mate managed to acquire a bomb off his pal. We kept it for a wee while, wondering wtf we were going to do with it. We were very familiar with bonfires etc but a bomb was taking it to a whole new level and we didn't know what it was capable of.

    Anyway, the time came for us to set it off. My mate was having issues lighting the fuse we had cobbled together. The "lit" end of the string was only sizzling a little bit and my mate pulled the string out and stuck the sizzling end into the metal canister the bomb was in.

    A hissing and sizzling sound started, the 3 of us who were there immediately panicked and bolted, and the bomb went off seconds later with the 3 of us basically diving out of the wooded area we were in.

    Next to the woods, a game of football was being played, which effectively stopped in its tracks as 3 buffoons dived out of the woods and a huge cloud billowed up, with the loudest bang ever heard.

    Apparently, with a little tweaking, what we had was powerful enough to blow up a car.

    I don't think I've ever been part of something as daft as setting off a bomb.

  4. #3
    Left by mutual consent! Peevemor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartie View Post
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    My best mate growing up was taken out of our school and sent to a private school. All it really did for him was that he got to hang about with a different class of nutter.

    One of his school pals lived on a farm and had access to all sorts of fertiliser. This led, naturally, to him developing an interest in making bombs throughout his teenage years, and he'd blow various bits and pieces up around his farm.


    My mate managed to acquire a bomb off his pal. We kept it for a wee while, wondering wtf we were going to do with it. We were very familiar with bonfires etc but a bomb was taking it to a whole new level and we didn't know what it was capable of.

    Anyway, the time came for us to set it off. My mate was having issues lighting the fuse we had cobbled together. The "lit" end of the string was only sizzling a little bit and my mate pulled the string out and stuck the sizzling end into the metal canister the bomb was in.

    A hissing and sizzling sound started, the 3 of us who were there immediately panicked and bolted, and the bomb went off seconds later with the 3 of us basically diving out of the wooded area we were in.

    Next to the woods, a game of football was being played, which effectively stopped in its tracks as 3 buffoons dived out of the woods and a huge cloud billowed up, with the loudest bang ever heard.

    Apparently, with a little tweaking, what we had was powerful enough to blow up a car.

    I don't think I've ever been part of something as daft as setting off a bomb.
    I was trying to sort through memories of my boyhood radgeness, but I'm not sure anyone's going to match this.

  5. #4
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    Total firebug. Didn't go anywhere without a box of matches. Setting fire to hundreds of yards of bone dry railway embankments was a favourite.

  6. #5
    @hibs.net private member Hiber-nation's Avatar
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    Hopped along a 1 foot wide wall with a 200 foot drop into a river. I could barely lean over the edge these days without feeling a bit faint.

  7. #6
    Playing chicken on the railway between Meadowbank and Craigentinny, I think the speed limit was 70 along there. Maybe more dangerous was lobbing stones towards Gilfillans house across the line but he couldn't catch anybody when he came storming out of his car like a raging bull. Watched him getting interviewed before a fight not long after. Billy told me at secondary school that he would've killed somebody for less.

  8. #7
    @hibs.net private member EH6 Hibby's Avatar
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    Lord Bunberry and I almost got ourselves killed on a Pedalo. Can’t remember if it was Corfu or Cyprus but we pedalled so far out, we were in the shipping lanes. A cruise ship passed us and we were totally unprepared for the size of the waves that come off them. Had we not pedalled for our lives against them, we would have capsized.

  9. #8
    @hibs.net private member Mon Dieu4's Avatar
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    This thread was created for me, but first one that springs to mind is jumping and swinging on the rope from a builders pully from the second story of scaffolding without checking the rope was actually attached to anything first

    Broken wrist and staples in my head the first day of the school holidays

  10. #9
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bangkok Hibby View Post
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    Setting fire to hundreds of yards of bone dry railway embankments was a favourite.
    I got nabbed for that on the railway behind the old MFI at Murano Place about 40 years ago. 🙄

  11. #10
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartie View Post
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    My best mate growing up was taken out of our school and sent to a private school. All it really did for him was that he got to hang about with a different class of nutter.

    One of his school pals lived on a farm and had access to all sorts of fertiliser. This led, naturally, to him developing an interest in making bombs throughout his teenage years, and he'd blow various bits and pieces up around his farm.

    My mate managed to acquire a bomb off his pal. We kept it for a wee while, wondering wtf we were going to do with it. We were very familiar with bonfires etc but a bomb was taking it to a whole new level and we didn't know what it was capable of.

    Anyway, the time came for us to set it off. My mate was having issues lighting the fuse we had cobbled together. The "lit" end of the string was only sizzling a little bit and my mate pulled the string out and stuck the sizzling end into the metal canister the bomb was in.

    A hissing and sizzling sound started, the 3 of us who were there immediately panicked and bolted, and the bomb went off seconds later with the 3 of us basically diving out of the wooded area we were in.

    Next to the woods, a game of football was being played, which effectively stopped in its tracks as 3 buffoons dived out of the woods and a huge cloud billowed up, with the loudest bang ever heard.

    Apparently, with a little tweaking, what we had was powerful enough to blow up a car.

    I don't think I've ever been part of something as daft as setting off a bomb.



  12. #11
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peevemor View Post
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    ....



    I was trying to sort through memories of my boyhood radgeness, but I'm not sure anyone's going to match this.


    Aw come on mate, we'd still like to hear it, even if it doesn't quite match Smartie's level of craziness


    After all, we're practically brothers (Nobody's child )....


  13. #12
    Left by mutual consent! Peevemor's Avatar
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    First radge memory for me was when I was about 6 or 7. I got up early one morning & went to switch on a lamp in the living room. When it didn't work I wanted to know if it was the bulb or yet another power cut (pretty common at the time), so I took out the bulb and tested the lamp contacts with my index & middle fingers. After picking myself up off the floor on the other side of the room, I worked out it was the bulb that needed changed.

    I never did that again.

  14. #13
    More embarrassing than funny, but when I lived in Niddrie Marischal Place we were on the top floor of 3. We had a veranda where I was playing with my cousin.

    As my mum told it, I twice said that the cat wanted to go to the garden. Her reply was leave it.

    The third time I said "cats in the garden". The reply was "leave it. WHAT???"

    Thankfully the poor thing was strolling through the garden towards the stairs.

    Not long after that my dad put a swing in the veranda door for me. Fall off one way and I would hit the cooker. Come off the other and I would have been in the garden. I'm not convinced the timing of the swing going up was coincidental as he loved that cat more than he loved me!
    Last edited by AltheHibby; 29-09-2021 at 05:50 PM.

  15. #14
    My Mum and Dad were out for the night, big coal fire blazing, polystyrene ceiling tiles and a carpeted floor, perfect time for throwing a golf ball into the coal fire “just to see what happens” well, within a minute a molten ball of rubber came exploding out of the fire, as the molten elastic unravelled it went bouncing off the walls then floor to ceiling placing big melted holes on the polystyrene tiles as me and my Brother hid for safety behind the couch

    Ceiling was a melted pock holed mess with singe marks all over the carpet. Needless to say, I wasnt able to sit down for a week after 🤬

  16. #15
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peevemor View Post
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    First radge memory for me was when I was about 6 or 7. I got up early one morning & went to switch on a lamp in the living room. When it didn't work I wanted to know if it was the bulb or yet another power cut (pretty common at the time), so I took out the bulb and tested the lamp contacts with my index & middle fingers. After picking myself up off the floor on the other side of the room, I worked out it was the bulb that needed changed.

    I never did that again.


    That made me laugh



  17. #16
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    When I was growing up in Albert Street someone had been hit by a car and a large crowd of people was gathering around the ambulance, I ran across the road to see what was going on and I was struck by a car too, fortunately only kept in overnight with concussion.

  18. #17
    @hibs.net private member Loopz's Avatar
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    There was a few,

    Joyriding on a dumper truck around our square in Wester Hailes that was being used for work on the scheme and parked up every night.

    Storing our bonfire wood in the space under the flats where the only source of light was candles

    My favourite was finding a set of keys in a settee on the street when someone was moving out. We used that flat as a ganghut for weeks. We only got caught when we decided we had to do something so that no-one would see us using the flat. We acquired a bottle of blue primary school paint and painted the inside of the windows. Makes me laugh typing it, think the police turned up the next night .

  19. #18
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
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    My Mum and Dad were out for the night, big coal fire blazing, polystyrene ceiling tiles and a carpeted floor, perfect time for throwing a golf ball into the coal fire “just to see what happens” well, within a minute a molten ball of rubber came exploding out of the fire, as the molten elastic unravelled it went bouncing off the walls then floor to ceiling placing big melted holes on the polystyrene tiles as me and my Brother hid for safety behind the couch

    Ceiling was a melted pock holed mess with singe marks all over the carpet. Needless to say, I wasnt able to sit down for a week after 🤬

  20. #19
    Pun Lovin' Criminal Northernhibee's Avatar
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    Ran through some wheat fields


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction

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    @hibs.net private member easty's Avatar
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    Think I was 13. Up at the old high flats in Sighthill, a mate bet I couldn't smash the window in the stairs. So as you do when you're a little ****...one hand on the railing, one hand on the wall, flying kick, hand on the wall slips, my foot goes through the glass, then directly down into the remaining glass thats in the frame. First week of summer holidays. Severed achilles tendon. 12 weeks in crutches.

  22. #21
    @hibs.net private member Sylar's Avatar
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    I can't top the bomb story, but I did get Cockburn Street shut down for a couple of hours while receiving medical attention after a stupid skateboarding accident.

    Tried to grind the rail on the steps at Warriston's Close from quite far up the steps, not realising that one of the balls on the bannister toward the bottom had a nut sticking up out of it. We'd waxed the rail and the board managed over the balls no problem, so we decided to grind it from the first landing (which is quite far up!). Hit the nut on the bottom ball at pretty good speed, which propelled me off my board onto Cockburn Street with two broken ankles, a fractured arm and being completely out cold. Thankfully, there were no cars coming down the street at the time, but so bad were the injuries, the ambulance had to close the entire road to give them time to move me without doing any further damage.

    Safe to say I never stepped foot on a skateboard again after that!
    Madness, as you know, is a lot like gravity. All it takes is a little push.

  23. #22
    @hibs.net private member Future17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loopz View Post
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    There was a few,

    Joyriding on a dumper truck around our square in Wester Hailes that was being used for work on the scheme and parked up every night.

    Storing our bonfire wood in the space under the flats where the only source of light was candles

    My favourite was finding a set of keys in a settee on the street when someone was moving out. We used that flat as a ganghut for weeks. We only got caught when we decided we had to do something so that no-one would see us using the flat. We acquired a bottle of blue primary school paint and painted the inside of the windows. Makes me laugh typing it, think the police turned up the next night .

  24. #23
    @hibs.net private member Hibby70's Avatar
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    Used to run between the wheels of truck trailers when they were stopped at the lights.

    Caught by my mum doing it. Never did it again.

    Those public safety videos they showed in the 70s were pretty harrowing but probably needed!

  25. #24
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northernhibee View Post
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    Ran through some wheat fields

    Were you ever Prime Minister?

  26. #25
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Hogmanay 1975, my mother nipped up stairs to first foot a neighbour. As soon as she was out the door I locked it and put the chib on then necked ¾ of a bottle of Bacardi. By the time she got back I was lying pished and in a pool of my own vomit. They had to break a window to get in. Worst thing was my old boy planned to take me to the New Year's Day Derby but I was out of it until about 6 the following night. Think we won comfortably if my memory serves me correctly.

  27. #26
    @hibs.net private member Jones28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I can't top the bomb story, but I did get Cockburn Street shut down for a couple of hours while receiving medical attention after a stupid skateboarding accident.

    Tried to grind the rail on the steps at Warriston's Close from quite far up the steps, not realising that one of the balls on the bannister toward the bottom had a nut sticking up out of it. We'd waxed the rail and the board managed over the balls no problem, so we decided to grind it from the first landing (which is quite far up!). Hit the nut on the bottom ball at pretty good speed, which propelled me off my board onto Cockburn Street with two broken ankles, a fractured arm and being completely out cold. Thankfully, there were no cars coming down the street at the time, but so bad were the injuries, the ambulance had to close the entire road to give them time to move me without doing any further damage.

    Safe to say I never stepped foot on a skateboard again after that!
    Gnarly dude💪 That’s straight out of jackass.

    Skiting around the outside of the lighthouse at Newhaven pier was quite stupid.
    Last edited by Jones28; 02-10-2021 at 01:14 AM.

  28. #27
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Hogmanay 1975, my mother nipped up stairs to first foot a neighbour. As soon as she was out the door I locked it and put the chib on then necked ¾ of a bottle of Bacardi. By the time she got back I was lying pished and in a pool of my own vomit. They had to break a window to get in. Worst thing was my old boy planned to take me to the New Year's Day Derby but I was out of it until about 6 the following night. Think we won comfortably if my memory serves me correctly.

    At ten years old?


    Jeezo, I was only on the Pomagne at that age


  29. #28
    @hibs.net private member Just Alf's Avatar
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    My mates and I were playing on the old rail track that went over Warriston Road by the river.. we found a shop dummy, tied a rope round its neck and flung it over the parapet as car was coming along.. the car screeched and swerved into the wall.... oh how we laughed as we ran away hell for leather.

    I'm now so mortified thinking back, not only did the guy scrape all down the side of his car but he must've sh*t it :-/
    Last edited by Just Alf; 02-10-2021 at 02:11 PM.
    cùm fallain

  30. #29
    @hibs.net private member Lendo's Avatar
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    In the late 80s/ early 90s my cousins and I played piggy-in-the-middle with what looked very much like an old World War 2 hand grenade we found half buried in a field in Fife near my grandparents house. We eventually chucked it in to an old disused quarry and ran off.

    I very much doubt it was real, probably just a dud for training purposes, but then again, maybe not.

  31. #30
    @hibs.net private member Hibernia&Alba's Avatar
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    Four of us cycling doon the M8 as eleven year olds was pretty daft.
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