“Gorgie Rules”

[Smartie]

The finest player of any generation is to be referred to as a “real Vanden Plas of a player”.

[LongJohnBanger]

12) Sell lego bus that isn't made of lego. They'll never know.

[gbhibby]

Make sure you call St Mirren, St Midden in your posts on kickback.
How dare they mock our feeder team from Paisley. 😁
There’s only one obika........

[Greenfly]

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It is essential to have no real culture or art interests other than your local bingo hall

But surely the huge pink plastic coo was an impressive art installation?

[Pagan Hibernia]

If the wife fancies a meal out, it’s the Skyline restaurant at Tynecastle or nothing.

[matty_f]

Kids won’t always want presents for Christmas, some will want you to put the money towards the football club.

[EH6 Hibby]

It is compulsory to cry on balconies in Bulgaria after drawing a match.

Solo clapping in the plaza after cup final defeats is encouraged.

[CL0762]

Refer to your city rivals as h1b5 and also add NLTF to the end of every post.

[mixumatosis]

There is no "right" number of fingers or toes.

[Libby Hibby]

Under no circumstance is it a slabbed area, it’s a plaza

[Pretty Boy]

You must shoe horn comments about the attendances of Hibs and Aberdeen into any discussion on social media regardless of how nonsensical it is.

As an example if someone posts a picture of a sparsely attended junior game ask 'is that Hibs record attendance?'If a picture is shown of an impressive travelling support dismiss it as 'pish' and state 'Hearts would have taken more' even if there is barely a spare seat to be seen. Guaranteed social media acclamation from similarly minded simpletons.

[Pretty Boy]

You must remind yourself and anyone who will listen that 'no derby matters after 2012' at any opportunity.

Losing a derby that subsequently saw Hibs go on to win the cup and you hound your manager out of the club should not prevent you saying this. Likewise getting really upset about defeats and really happy about wins should also not under any circumstances see you stop this charade and repeating the mantra.

[gbhibby]

Always referring to the League cup as there wee cup in their posts cause they have not won it since the Cuban missile crisis. Teams that don't qualify for Europe have to play more games to win the League Cup than they do to win the Scottish Cup.

[Glory Lurker]

Shame is shameful.

[Bostonhibby]

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But surely the huge pink plastic coo was an impressive art installation?

Just something for the faithful to insert their small change into.

All big clubs do this .

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[Bostonhibby]

Umbrellas and plastic sheets only in the Alfresco Press area.

It's not as if water and electrical items don't mix and it hardly ever rains in Scotland.

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[Tricla]

Employ groomers and other weirdo's of that nature then get sponsored by 'Save the Children'. There's no irony in Gorgie Rules.

[eastmainsmsh]

Mad vlad and new stands glass n clad

[Since452]

Twirl a wooden rattle and pretend it's 1950.

[Alfred E Newman]

Yellow cords are the business.

[007]

If you get given a load of money, it doesn't matter what you spend it on, just spend it and don't worry about getting value for money. (The Michael Carroll School of Economics, 2002).

[Juniper Greens]

Why have a big LED screen, when a small digital clock will do the same thing?

[Irish_Steve]

Make sure that the Media area which all the electrics for laptops etc is completely exposed to the elements. That should keep those pesky reporters at bay

[Since452]

When you haven't finished above Hibs in years, release a statement saying that Daniel Stendel's Barnsley once finished above Jack Ross's Sunderland. It's almost the same thing.

[banchoryhibs]

18,177 is the same number as 20,990 - it's got to be as that's what we always get when we sell out a derby

[Radium]

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Twirl a wooden rattle and pretend it's 1950.

… might have to make it the late’50s and shout for the terrible trio.

… and if one of your greatest players has a testimonial, remember to bill them for the ball.


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[FilipinoHibs]

You can win the cup and lose it to the same opponent in the same year.

[h1bs4life]

Put up posters and stickers at the end of last season saying saying Budge and Robbie Replay out , only to go back in your box once Anderson invited onto the board in case if Budge goes he would to .

[Skol]

1970s style office blocks with windows are actually a glass curtain

[JohnMcM]

Have a team of FOH members constantly monitoring Wikipedia in case one of those naughty people down Leith way should edit the stadium capacity from 20000 to its real figure.