Taking songs literally

[matty_f]

This idea came up on the Bangers podcast last night (sort of) when we were talking about the guy that tried to jet-ski to one of the Scottish Islands to get his Nat King Cole (think it took 4 hours and I imagine he'd have been walking like John Wayne when he got there) and it led to comparisons with the Proclaimers walking a full thousand miles to fall down at someone's door.

Taking that literally, it's ridiculous, that's not romantic at all. Frankly, they're going to arrive a sweaty, blistered, stinking mess. That's if the woman even opens the door - she'll hear the knock and if she's got one of the wee spy-hole things in her door she'll have a wee peek through and not see anyone there because they'd be lying on her doormat.

What other songs, taken literally, are ridiculous?

Wham - Last Christmas. Lat Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day I was dead from massive coronary trauma and blood loss.

Roy Orbison - I drove all night. Listen to the lyrics in that song. Creepy as anything and would be a guaranteed conviction these days.

What else?

[Moulin Yarns]

To keep to the Christmas theme.

Little Drummer Boy

Come they told me
Pa rumpy pum pum pum
A new born king to see
Pa rumpy pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring
Pa rumpy pum pum pum
To lay before the king
Pa rumpy pum pum pum,
Rumpy pum pum pum,
Rumpy pum pum pum



And after all that rumpy I don't think the Little Drummer Boy will be doing much marching

[Mon Dieu4]

Dunno about the lyrics but the video for Hello by Lionel really freaks me out, it's basically him stalking a blind lady

[matty_f]

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Dunno about the lyrics but the video for Hello by Lionel really freaks me out, it's basically him stalking a blind lady

a blind lady who has made a massive clay version of his heid!!

[JeMeSouviens]

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a blind lady who has made a massive clay version of his heid!!

Yeah, and an accurate one at that. You'd think his killer advantage with that lassie was she couldn't see what he looked like.

[Peevemor]

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Dunno about the lyrics but the video for Hello by Lionel really freaks me out, it's basically him stalking a blind lady

Every breath you take by the Police is the ultimate stalking song.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Young Girl - Gary Puckett, dearie me! 😯

Quite a decent tune though.

[matty_f]

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Young Girl - Gary Puckett, dearie me! 😯

Quite a decent tune though.

Suppose we better not mention Come On Eileen either...

[JeMeSouviens]

Chasing Pavements -

Sore face incoming.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

Come on Eileen. Maybe leave that one.

[matty_f]

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Chasing Pavements -

Sore face incoming.

[Jones28]

I always found the lyrics to "Your Song" to be baffling, and taken literally just utter nonsense.

In this instance I assume picking the moss off the roof to be some sort of unknown euphemism he crammed in to make the verse work, but imagine finding that romantic? Picking moss off a roof together?

Haud on hen I'll away and get a couple a hammers and we can re-shingle it while we're up here.

[Moulin Yarns]

Belle and Sebastian - I'm a Cuckoo. No you're not, you don't lay eggs in other birds nests.

[matty_f]

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Belle and Sebastian - I'm a Cuckoo. No you're not, you don't lay eggs in other birds nests.

I am the Walrus...

[matty_f]

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I always found the lyrics to "Your Song" to be baffling, and taken literally just utter nonsense.

In this instance I assume picking the moss off the roof to be some sort of unknown euphemism he crammed in to make the verse work, but imagine finding that romantic? Picking moss off a roof together?

Haud on hen I'll away and get a couple a hammers and we can re-shingle it while we're up here.

Haha!!

[Moulin Yarns]

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I am the Walrus...

Of course you are. 😉

[Mibbes Aye]

In the O'Jays classic, 'Love Train' they start a train in America that goes to Englad, then Russia and China before doubling back to Egypt and Israel.

I am unsure about the rail network connectvity for that, but more importantly they invite everyone to join in - I would be unceretain how many carriages they would need to put on, let alone the number of buffet cars.

[matty_f]

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In the O'Jays classic, 'Love Train' they start a train in America that goes to Englad, then Russia and China before doubling back to Egypt and Israel.

I am unsure about the rail network connectvity for that, but more importantly they invite everyone to join in - I would be unceretain how many carriages they would need to put on, let alone the number of buffet cars.

that’s a great example!!

[degenerated]

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This idea came up on the Bangers podcast last night (sort of) when we were talking about the guy that tried to jet-ski to one of the Scottish Islands to get his Nat King Cole (think it took 4 hours and I imagine he'd have been walking like John Wayne when he got there) and it led to comparisons with the Proclaimers walking a full thousand miles to fall down at someone's door.

Taking that literally, it's ridiculous, that's not romantic at all. Frankly, they're going to arrive a sweaty, blistered, stinking mess. That's if the woman even opens the door - she'll hear the knock and if she's got one of the wee spy-hole things in her door she'll have a wee peek through and not see anyone there because they'd be lying on her doormat.

What other songs, taken literally, are ridiculous?

Wham - Last Christmas. Lat Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day I was dead from massive coronary trauma and blood loss.

Roy Orbison - I drove all night. Listen to the lyrics in that song. Creepy as anything and would be a guaranteed conviction these days.

What else?

Too drunk to **** by the dead kennedys.........

[Mibbes Aye]

Westlife,in their popular hit ‘You Raise Me Up’ claimed that some unnamed person would raise them up to stand on mountains. Questions around health and safety crop up here. How quickly were they raised? There seems to be a serious risk of oxygen deprivation and/or altitude sickness if not handled carefully. While the Westlife boys are accomplished singers I am not convinced of their mountaineering skills.

They also claim this unnamed person can raise them up to walk on stormy seas. This suggests they were underwater before that. Hopefully they had SCUBA gear, although given their intransigence to mountaineering safety issues I am doubtful. I can only imagine the sea they walked on was the Dead Sea, though that doesn’t get very stormy. The other logical reaction is they are multiple incarnations of Jesus.

Who would have thought!

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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I am the Walrus...

Is it easier to be the walrus or the resurrection? Who knows?

[Smartie]

"I am a rock".

[Smartie]

"Naw ye urnae".