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  1. #1

    Some Light Relief - A Hearts Relegation poem

    First ever post by a lifelong Hibby.

    To try to brighten the mood a little in these difficult times, I thought I'd put some thoughts on our neighbour's relegation into rhyme and share it.

    Enjoy, stay safe and keep the faith. GGTTH


    The Unflushable Jobbie
    (the poetic tale of Hearts 2020 Relegation)

    This is the story of the unflushable Jobbie
    That became more annoying, than Mr Blobby
    Seven weeks of nonsense, before they'accept'
    A deserved relegation, for being inept.

    At their perceived injustice, you have to laugh
    The team, worst performing, for a year and a half
    From 'winning the league by the middle of October'
    To 'You can't send us down, when the league isn't over.'

    Much greetin' 'n' moanin' 'n' gnashing of teeth
    Rage at Edina's top team, over in Leith
    It all started going wrong, when they sacked their Robbie
    Because Hibs won the cup, a new Hearts manager lobby.

    To cut a long story short, recruitment -disaster
    Budge thought Levein, was a footballing master
    Millions were spent, or more accurately, botched
    Value for money, very little was notched.

    This season started, with few points gotten
    But Hibs were struggling, and St Johnstone were rotten
    For dual-role Levein, there were very few passes
    Dissent from the ranks, call for change from the masses.

    Poor Craigie was sacked, but with plenty ado
    Stendel appointed, their 'Jurgen Klopp 2'
    In his first few games, little points they would score
    But the masses had faith, so this fact did ignore.

    Around the same time, the Hibees got Ross
    And pulled up the league, ahead of the dross
    Hearts won an odd game but the players were termed 'wooses.'
    But '5-1, the Big Team' and injury excuses.

    By March, last by one point, to Paisley,they headed
    In the sporting gods hands, their hopes were wedded
    A now famous Kickback post, confidently raved
    'Beat St Mirren two - nil, and then by Covid, we're saved.'

    That fateful night, a bitter pill
    The Buddies ONE, the Jambos NIL
    A fact undoubted, clear and plain
    St Mirren had screwed their season, AGAIN.

    Karma delivered, for those previously stiffed
    Corona brought lockdown, with them 4 points adrift
    "All of you wee teams, had better beware
    Because we're big, hugely famous, and it just is'nae fair."

    We had Dundee-gate & WhatsApp insider dealing
    The Jobbie in the pan, Hearts supporters were feeling
    After a farcical episode, the leagues were called
    The Championship beckoned, for those black-balled.

    A strong sense of entitlement, then abounds
    No sense of irony, re their 'moral grounds'
    Conniving, whining, wriggling like hell
    To 'save' Scottish football and the SPFL.

    Despite the press box at 'Tiny', being open and wet
    Sportsound as biased, as it's possible to get
    Not being able, to see the wood, from the trees
    And pandering to the Jambos, so as Budgie to please.

    But after numerous restructure proposals,were ditched
    Threats of legal action, plus funding,were pitched
    Consideration was given and details duly noted
    Then sense prevailed and restructure outvoted.

    SO, the unflushable Jobbie of the colour maroon
    'Wheeched' through the plumbing, finally doon
    Take yer 'maroon pound', to Inverness Caley
    And finish off yer stand so don't dilly dally.


    AMEN


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  3. #2
    Administrator BroxburnHibee's Avatar
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    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, vodka in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO what a ride!"

  4. #3
    First Team Breakthrough
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    Brilliant !

  5. #4
    @hibs.net private member Alfiembra's Avatar
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    William Mcgonagall is alive and well and a hibby to boot.

    Best first post ever.

  6. #5
    @hibs.net private member Groathillgrump's Avatar
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    Brilliant!

    If all your poems are of that standard keep 'em coming.

  7. #6
    First Team Breakthrough
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    Fantastic effort!!

  8. #7
    There once was a team in maroon
    who thought they were talk o the toon
    but the vote it was taken
    wee Anne she was shaken to find that they were going doon

  9. #8

  10. #9
    Tremendous reading, must have took you ages getting all that to rhyme

  11. #10
    Brilliant!!



    Sent from my POT-LX1 using Tapatalk

  12. #11
    First Team Regular jax67's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oxgangs
    Posts
    801
    Quote Originally Posted by Lochend 7062 View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    First ever post by a lifelong Hibby.

    To try to brighten the mood a little in these difficult times, I thought I'd put some thoughts on our neighbour's relegation into rhyme and share it.

    Enjoy, stay safe and keep the faith. GGTTH


    The Unflushable Jobbie
    (the poetic tale of Hearts 2020 Relegation)

    This is the story of the unflushable Jobbie
    That became more annoying, than Mr Blobby
    Seven weeks of nonsense, before they'accept'
    A deserved relegation, for being inept.

    At their perceived injustice, you have to laugh
    The team, worst performing, for a year and a half
    From 'winning the league by the middle of October'
    To 'You can't send us down, when the league isn't over.'

    Much greetin' 'n' moanin' 'n' gnashing of teeth
    Rage at Edina's top team, over in Leith
    It all started going wrong, when they sacked their Robbie
    Because Hibs won the cup, a new Hearts manager lobby.

    To cut a long story short, recruitment -disaster
    Budge thought Levein, was a footballing master
    Millions were spent, or more accurately, botched
    Value for money, very little was notched.

    This season started, with few points gotten
    But Hibs were struggling, and St Johnstone were rotten
    For dual-role Levein, there were very few passes
    Dissent from the ranks, call for change from the masses.

    Poor Craigie was sacked, but with plenty ado
    Stendel appointed, their 'Jurgen Klopp 2'
    In his first few games, little points they would score
    But the masses had faith, so this fact did ignore.

    Around the same time, the Hibees got Ross
    And pulled up the league, ahead of the dross
    Hearts won an odd game but the players were termed 'wooses.'
    But '5-1, the Big Team' and injury excuses.

    By March, last by one point, to Paisley,they headed
    In the sporting gods hands, their hopes were wedded
    A now famous Kickback post, confidently raved
    'Beat St Mirren two - nil, and then by Covid, we're saved.'

    That fateful night, a bitter pill
    The Buddies ONE, the Jambos NIL
    A fact undoubted, clear and plain
    St Mirren had screwed their season, AGAIN.

    Karma delivered, for those previously stiffed
    Corona brought lockdown, with them 4 points adrift
    "All of you wee teams, had better beware
    Because we're big, hugely famous, and it just is'nae fair."

    We had Dundee-gate & WhatsApp insider dealing
    The Jobbie in the pan, Hearts supporters were feeling
    After a farcical episode, the leagues were called
    The Championship beckoned, for those black-balled.

    A strong sense of entitlement, then abounds
    No sense of irony, re their 'moral grounds'
    Conniving, whining, wriggling like hell
    To 'save' Scottish football and the SPFL.

    Despite the press box at 'Tiny', being open and wet
    Sportsound as biased, as it's possible to get
    Not being able, to see the wood, from the trees
    And pandering to the Jambos, so as Budgie to please.

    But after numerous restructure proposals,were ditched
    Threats of legal action, plus funding,were pitched
    Consideration was given and details duly noted
    Then sense prevailed and restructure outvoted.

    SO, the unflushable Jobbie of the colour maroon
    'Wheeched' through the plumbing, finally doon
    Take yer 'maroon pound', to Inverness Caley
    And finish off yer stand so don't dilly dally.


    AMEN
    A true bard sir.

  13. #12
    @hibs.net private member ano hibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    the 'burgh
    Age
    49
    Posts
    2,074
    Outstanding poem 😂😂👍👍
    "We've also been unsure about what has happened to the receipts of the players who have been sold."
    George Foulkes BBC website 20/3/08

  14. #13
    First Team Breakthrough
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    181
    That Sir is sublime.👏👏😂😂

  15. #14
    Thanks everyone for your positive feedback. It takes a wee while to pull it all together but well worth it when itís appreciated.
    Probably why you never hear of any millionaire poets.
    🇳🇬👍

  16. #15
    Brilliant just brilliant

  17. #16
    @hibs.net private member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Age
    45
    Posts
    24,194
    Quote Originally Posted by Lochend 7062 View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    First ever post by a lifelong Hibby.

    To try to brighten the mood a little in these difficult times, I thought I'd put some thoughts on our neighbour's relegation into rhyme and share it.

    Enjoy, stay safe and keep the faith. GGTTH


    The Unflushable Jobbie
    (the poetic tale of Hearts 2020 Relegation)

    This is the story of the unflushable Jobbie
    That became more annoying, than Mr Blobby
    Seven weeks of nonsense, before they'accept'
    A deserved relegation, for being inept.

    At their perceived injustice, you have to laugh
    The team, worst performing, for a year and a half
    From 'winning the league by the middle of October'
    To 'You can't send us down, when the league isn't over.'

    Much greetin' 'n' moanin' 'n' gnashing of teeth
    Rage at Edina's top team, over in Leith
    It all started going wrong, when they sacked their Robbie
    Because Hibs won the cup, a new Hearts manager lobby.

    To cut a long story short, recruitment -disaster
    Budge thought Levein, was a footballing master
    Millions were spent, or more accurately, botched
    Value for money, very little was notched.

    This season started, with few points gotten
    But Hibs were struggling, and St Johnstone were rotten
    For dual-role Levein, there were very few passes
    Dissent from the ranks, call for change from the masses.

    Poor Craigie was sacked, but with plenty ado
    Stendel appointed, their 'Jurgen Klopp 2'
    In his first few games, little points they would score
    But the masses had faith, so this fact did ignore.

    Around the same time, the Hibees got Ross
    And pulled up the league, ahead of the dross
    Hearts won an odd game but the players were termed 'wooses.'
    But '5-1, the Big Team' and injury excuses.

    By March, last by one point, to Paisley,they headed
    In the sporting gods hands, their hopes were wedded
    A now famous Kickback post, confidently raved
    'Beat St Mirren two - nil, and then by Covid, we're saved.'

    That fateful night, a bitter pill
    The Buddies ONE, the Jambos NIL
    A fact undoubted, clear and plain
    St Mirren had screwed their season, AGAIN.

    Karma delivered, for those previously stiffed
    Corona brought lockdown, with them 4 points adrift
    "All of you wee teams, had better beware
    Because we're big, hugely famous, and it just is'nae fair."

    We had Dundee-gate & WhatsApp insider dealing
    The Jobbie in the pan, Hearts supporters were feeling
    After a farcical episode, the leagues were called
    The Championship beckoned, for those black-balled.

    A strong sense of entitlement, then abounds
    No sense of irony, re their 'moral grounds'
    Conniving, whining, wriggling like hell
    To 'save' Scottish football and the SPFL.

    Despite the press box at 'Tiny', being open and wet
    Sportsound as biased, as it's possible to get
    Not being able, to see the wood, from the trees
    And pandering to the Jambos, so as Budgie to please.

    But after numerous restructure proposals,were ditched
    Threats of legal action, plus funding,were pitched
    Consideration was given and details duly noted
    Then sense prevailed and restructure outvoted.

    SO, the unflushable Jobbie of the colour maroon
    'Wheeched' through the plumbing, finally doon
    Take yer 'maroon pound', to Inverness Caley
    And finish off yer stand so don't dilly dally.


    AMEN
    Genius!

  18. #17
    That is a brilliant poem. Thanks.

  19. #18
    First Team Breakthrough Cheshire Hibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Stockport
    Posts
    236
    Well done - had a good chuckle at that.

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