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  1. #1
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    Horrendous Christmas dinners

    Another year and another plate of absolute ***** served up at the in-laws. Absolute *****!

    How do you break it to the wife that you simply can't stomach it every year?


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  3. #2
    Testimonial Due wpj's Avatar
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    Haha, this should be on the bah humbug thread. How bad was it? I'm cooking for one so can only have one pi$$ed off person. What went wrong?

  4. #3
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    It was absolutely horrendous. Topped off with beef gravy. Each to their own but just use a poultry gravy with poultry.

    They substituted chipolatas for bacon lardons. It's an absolute joke.

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    I've taken over cooking duties in recent years. Guarantees I'm satisfied even if no one else is.
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    Quote Originally Posted by H18 SFR View Post
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    It was absolutely horrendous. Topped off with beef gravy. Each to their own but just use a poultry gravy with poultry.

    They substituted chipolatas for bacon lardons. It's an absolute joke.

    Beef gravy with turkey. Never heard of that before.

    Sounds wrong.

  7. #6
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    After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

    I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

    They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.

  8. #7
    @hibs.net private member BroxburnHibee's Avatar
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    No problems with Christmas dinner at mine. I love cooking it
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, vodka in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO what a ride!"

  9. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by H18 SFR View Post
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    After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

    I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

    They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.
    That's literally unforgivable. It's just lazy.
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  10. #9
    @hibs.net private member Bostonhibby's Avatar
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    Couple of years back my mate drove from lincolshire to Kent to his mother in law's for xmas dinner. Wasn't looking forward to it.

    On the journey down he said to his wife that he wasn't looking forward to seeing ******* burnt sausages on the plate as usual.

    When the dinner arrived his 5 year old who'd been in the back of the car picked a sausage off his plate and said Dad,dad it's ******* burnt sausages again. There was only about a dozen folk at the table



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  11. #10
    Coaching Staff heretoday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by H18 SFR View Post
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    After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

    I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

    They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.
    These folk want taken out and shot.

  12. #11
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by H18 SFR View Post
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    After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

    I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

    They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.
    😂 This is beginning to sound like a comedy sketch.

  13. #12
    @hibs.net private member HH81's Avatar
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    The dinner at the in laws was as usual pretty average.

    The thing for me is working at a bank is the huge impact and pressure people are under to buy stuff they just can't afford. Maybe it should just be about having a meal and then everyone can be happy. The impact I have seen on the back of Xmas is huge and so many people suffer.

    Think that is why it just annoys me when I just see people posting stupid piles of presents on social media.

  14. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by HH81 View Post
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    The dinner at the in laws was as usual pretty average.

    The thing for me is working at a bank is the huge impact and pressure people are under to buy stuff they just can't afford. Maybe it should just be about having a meal and then everyone can be happy. The impact I have seen on the back of Xmas is huge and so many people suffer.

    Think that is why it just annoys me when I just see people posting stupid piles of presents on social media.
    Totally agree.

  15. #14
    Coaching Staff lyonhibs's Avatar
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    Mercifully my mother in law is an excellent cook and has long since ceased with turkey in favour of a beef from a favourite butcher in Yorkshire.

    This year we stayed here in Switzerland owing to imminent baby arrival. Did French onion soup then beef Wellington. The latter didn't *quite* end up as in the Gordon Ramsay recipe but the beef was spot on and generally delicious.

    Now sat on the sofa watching Netflix with a bottle of Laphroaig Quarter Cask. Bliss.

    Keep the tales of woe coming though

  16. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by H18 SFR View Post
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    It was absolutely horrendous. Topped off with beef gravy. Each to their own but just use a poultry gravy with poultry.

    They substituted chipolatas for bacon lardons. It's an absolute joke.
    I cooked both turkey and beef today. The juices from both went in the gravy. The pink turkey juices gave it a lovely flavour and brightened up the colour too.

  17. #16
    @hibs.net private member Hibernia&Alba's Avatar
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    Well mine was a triumph - turkey for her indoors and veggie for me for the first time. The kitchen was like working in a blast furnace; I almost passed out, but it was worth the effort. I know it sounds so gallus, but it was the best Christmas dinner I've had. I'm very glad I was only cooking for two (plus the dug) - that was stressful enough.
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  18. #17
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    I cooked for eight, turkey and ham, roasties, parsnips, sprouts with bacon, carrots, pigs in blankets, stuffing, (a quiche request from the veggie)potato croquets, gravy.

    Trifle, Christmas Pudding, Profiterolls.

    All very well received and no complaints ( to my face at least 😁)

  19. #18
    My MIL is a superb cook and thankfully her daughter, my better half, follows that on. So much so that I'll happily agree to attend my in laws at any occasion rather than my parents as my own mum is an average cook. Whilst it's never terrible it's just alright and there's never enough.

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  20. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
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    I cooked both turkey and beef today. The juices from both went in the gravy. The pink turkey juices gave it a lovely flavour and brightened up the colour too.

    Pink juices?? How are you today?

  21. #20
    We go away for xmas every year, nae crappy xmas lunches, nae family and nae kids, f,n fantastic, everyone should try it. Just back from staying a nightvat a spa, fantastic,

  22. #21
    @hibs.net private member Moulin Yarns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil MaGlass View Post
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    We go away for xmas every year, nae crappy xmas lunches, nae family and nae kids, f,n fantastic, everyone should try it. Just back from staying a nightvat a spa, fantastic,
    What we do at new year.
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.

  23. #22
    Old Codger Hibstorian Jonnyboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by H18 SFR View Post
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    After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

    I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

    They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.
    I was laughing until you mentioned the sticky toffee pudding, T. You should be allowed to divorce your inlaws
    This is how it feels

  24. #23
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
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    I do all the cooking in my household and get everything from M&S as the wife works there and we get 20% discount. Get the timings right and all cooked to perfection as per usual.

  25. #24
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    Tried making roast potatoes with duck fat rather than goose fat this year, highly recommended.

  26. #25
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    My oven packed in this Christmas, whilst doing the turkey it wouldn't heat above 140c. Turned out the best turkey I've ever had, even if we didn't get to eat it until 23:30. Improvised by cooking the roasted spuds in shifts in the dry fryer, they too were excellent and I'll definitely do that again.

  27. #26
    Coaching Staff heretoday's Avatar
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    We had a Bell's steak pie for new year. The cooking instructions said Remove All Packaging. After some debate, we stuck it in the oven without even its silver tray. Result - collapse of pie although it was perfectly edible.
    Were we naive to take the instructions so literally?
    Perhaps Mr Bell can explain because he'll be getting a letter from me. £7.50 it cost!

  28. #27
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heretoday View Post
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    We had a Bell's steak pie for new year. The cooking instructions said Remove All Packaging. After some debate, we stuck it in the oven without even its silver tray. Result - collapse of pie although it was perfectly edible.
    Were we naive to take the instructions so literally?
    Perhaps Mr Bell can explain because he'll be getting a letter from me. £7.50 it cost!
    I would never consider the silver tray that a pie sits in as packaging, it’s cooked in the tray then packaged, quite a funny thing to read actually😁
    Glad it didn’t spoil your dinner though.

  29. #28
    @hibs.net private member RyeSloan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heretoday View Post
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    We had a Bell's steak pie for new year. The cooking instructions said Remove All Packaging. After some debate, we stuck it in the oven without even its silver tray. Result - collapse of pie although it was perfectly edible.
    Were we naive to take the instructions so literally?
    Perhaps Mr Bell can explain because he'll be getting a letter from me. £7.50 it cost!
    Eh? Most Bells or any other ‘family size’ steak pies only come with a pastry lid. I’m struggling to understand how the above could even come to pass?

  30. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by RyeSloan View Post
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    Eh? Most Bells or any other ‘family size’ steak pies only come with a pastry lid. I’m struggling to understand how the above could even come to pass?
    Right. When we took it out of the tray the meat part was in quite a solid mass. It wasn't just liquid as with most pies. Even so and at this late stage I was against bunging it on a baking sheet and into the oven. I was outvoted.
    All I'm saying is the instructions should have said "Remove all packaging but leave in silver tray". I'm secretly hoping Mr Bell will take pity and send us a voucher.
    The pie was good - well filled with steak.

  31. #30
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RyeSloan View Post
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    Eh? Most Bells or any other ‘family size’ steak pies only come with a pastry lid. I’m struggling to understand how the above could even come to pass?
    Bells large steak rounds are complete pastry pies with filling.

    Edit: See the OP has explained it perfectly 😁

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