Hotels - around the world, good/bad/funny experiences etc

[lyonhibs]

Seeing as we have one for restaurants, it would be interesting/potentially funny to hear about people's best (and, let's face it, worst) experiences in hotels seeing as so many of us stay in them for our holidays/short breaks etc.

For me, living in Switzerland, unless you want to donate an organ for staying in a top place, we're more in the "3* family run market" which has, predominantly, been overwhelmingly positive. Through work perks and some savvy travelling in off-peak seasons, we have been able to stay for rather less than public price in some rather luxury hotels, the pinnacle of which would have to be the Victoria Jungfrau hotel in Interlaken which, between the spa and the breakfast buffet, really is something else.

On the other side of the coin, there have been some funny, rather than outright bad, experiences like when staying in Crans Montana, the rooms of our hotel hadn't been decorated by anyone under the age of 70 for quite a while and the hotel, whilst well located and with large rooms, seemed to be basically empty apart from us and a large group of Hasidic Jews who trooped about in full regalia and always seemed to either be coming from or going down to the hotel's basement where there was, as far as I know, no rooms - so all a bit strange!

[Pretty Boy]

When it comes to hotels how much I'm willing to pay very much depends on how long I intend to spend there. If I'm on a city break there is no way I'd pay for 5 star, probably not even 4 star, for somewhere I'm planning to use as little more than a base whilst I spend all day and most of the night exploring, eating and drinking. As long as it's clean I'm usually happy. If I'm going on a pool/beach holiday I'll be willing to pay a bit more for a few decent facilities as I'll probably be spending far more time in and around the hotel.

I've not had too many bad experiences on the whole, certainly nothing that couldn't be sorted with a quiet word with a member of staff. The only real problem was off my own making. In Krakow the hotel we stayed in had a buffet breakfast. Our 2nd morning I was hungover and just wanted something fat and carb heavy. There was a tray of sausages with 5 or 6 left. I was behind a Russian guy in the queue and he promptly scooped the lot onto his plate, I turned to the folk I was with and asked if they had seen what that 'fat *******' had done and made a few other comments about his ample waist line. No reaction from him. After I finished breakfast I went to head back to my room and got in the lift, I was joined by said Russian gentleman, who as well as being hefty built was also about 6'5". Alone. He then asked me in almost perfect English 'So I am fat ******* am I?' I stammered a reply before he told me if he saw me again he would 'kill me'. Breakfast the next day was a bit of a covert operation.

[Scouse Hibee]

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When it comes to hotels how much I'm willing to pay very much depends on how long I intend to spend there. If I'm on a city break there is no way I'd pay for 5 star, probably not even 4 star, for somewhere I'm planning to use as little more than a base whilst I spend all day and most of the night exploring, eating and drinking. As long as it's clean I'm usually happy. If I'm going on a pool/beach holiday I'll be willing to pay a bit more for a few decent facilities as I'll probably be spending far more time in and around the hotel.

I've not had too many bad experiences on the whole, certainly nothing that couldn't be sorted with a quiet word with a member of staff. The only real problem was off my own making. In Krakow the hotel we stayed in had a buffet breakfast. Our 2nd morning I was hungover and just wanted something fat and carb heavy. There was a tray of sausages with 5 or 6 left. I was behind a Russian guy in the queue and he promptly scooped the lot onto his plate, I turned to the folk I was with and asked if they had seen what that 'fat *******' had done and made a few other comments about his ample waist line. No reaction from him. After I finished breakfast I went to head back to my room and got in the lift, I was joined by said Russian gentleman, who as well as being hefty built was also about 6'5". Alone. He then asked me in almost perfect English 'So I am fat ******* am I?' I stammered a reply before he told me if he saw me again he would 'kill me'. Breakfast the next day was a bit of a covert operation.

😂

[Scouse Hibee]

After ten years as the Security Manager of a well known Edinburgh iconic hotel, I could write a book of my my experiences, funny, sad, shocking and awful 😁

[Jones28]

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After ten years as the Security Manager of a well known Edinburgh iconic hotel, I could write a book of my my experiences, funny, sad, shocking and awful 😁

Aw come on Scouse, tell us a story!

[Jones28]

When I was 10 my parents, brother and I lived abroad for a few years and decided to come home the long way round. After South Africa, Singapore, 10 days in Australia, Hawaii and the Grand Canyon/Hoover dam via Las Vegas it was our last night on a 5 week travelling spree that had gone off without a hitch.

It coincided with Labour Day weekend - possibly one of the biggest weekends of the year in the states - and as such a lot of places were shut. So the drive back from the Grand Canyon meant a fuel stop and after several failed attempts we stopped at a seemingly abandoned station off Route 66. Dad went and knocked on the door of the house and was met by a tall, unwashed, straggly man holding a double barrel shotgun. Dad was able to squeak out that we’d like some petrol please. $200 later the car was full and off we go.

So after a fairly traumatic ordeal like that a good nights sleep before the journey home was required. We turn up at the happy inn motel and it was the most dismal, dilapidated *****hole ive ever set eyes on. My memory is probably playing tricks on me but I’m sure the pool was closed because a body had been found in it. The rooms were disgusting and the troll behind the desk decided she wanted to withhold our passports until we’d paid for the rooms, despite deciding we no longer wanted them. After much todoing (and I’m pretty sure another gun appearing) we eventually got them back and instead camped at the airport for the night.

Horrid.

[Billy Whizz]

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After ten years as the Security Manager of a well known Edinburgh iconic hotel, I could write a book of my my experiences, funny, sad, shocking and awful 😁

What celebrities got caught nicking mini bar items😄

[Smartie]

I was on a stag in Newquay a few years ago. We were 2 to a room in a hotel that had seen better days.

The toilet facilities were quite interesting - an en-suite type arrangement that didn't quite manage to make it into a separate room, so the toilet and shower were actually within the room itself.

I can tell you now, you've not known awkwardness until you've been scrunched up in your bed, hungover to **** whilst your mate has a 5hite roughly 18 inches away from your head. A horrible, beery, hungover one at that.

Unless you've been to prison, I suppose.

[Hibrandenburg]

I came back from the Falkland Islands late December 1992 after a 6 months tour and wanted to treat me and the Mrs to a wee trip to make up for the time I'd been away. We decided to try our luck and see what RAF flights had on offer. At that time there was a military hotel at Brize Norton where they offered free seats on military aircraft departing for far off distant lands to service personnel and their families. They had a live board near reception that showed what flights had free seating so we plonked ourselves at the bar and waited for something decent to appear on the board. I was kind of hoping for Hong Kong or Australia but the only offers coming up were either one-way trips or only one available seats.

Eventually a return trip to Washington D.C. came on offer and we didn't fancy waiting around for days at the military hotel so we took the plunge with the plan being to hire a car and travel down to Florida for the 3 weeks duration.

Our return flight was already set so we knew when we had to get back to Washington but what we didn't take into account was that on the day of our return flight, Bill Clinton was being inaugurated and when we arrived in Washington there was no hotel rooms available apart from an apartment in the Watergate. I can't remember how much we had to cough for the hotel but I know it turned what was up until then a cheap holiday into one of the most expensive ever. I'd have happily slept at the airport but the Mrs wasn't having it.

[Allant1981]

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After ten years as the Security Manager of a well known Edinburgh iconic hotel, I could write a book of my my experiences, funny, sad, shocking and awful 😁

I can imagine, I was part of the security team in a well known golf resort/hotel and seen some sights

[Scouse Hibee]

Some examples:

Showbiz agent checks in with wife and has mistress booked in another room next floor.

Wife goes missing during night, husband reports he fears sleepwalking, full search of hotel conducted with me called in to coordinate in case she has taken ill or fallen in fire escape etc. Found on CCTV several hours later exiting another room. (Checked out alone next morning)

Female mistook room door for toilet door during night and locked herself outside in corridor naked. Got the lift to reception to the delight of the night manager!

American guest smeared his own excrement all over walls, **** the bed and threw his soiled clothes on to conservatory roof from his room. His response to me when I ejected him from hotel “Have you never fell of the wagon before”

Just a few, many more memories, saddest was a suicide I witnessed at close quarters.

Kylie Minogue staying in complete secrecy.

Many more

[Onceinawhile]

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Some examples:

Showbiz agent checks in with wife and has mistress booked in another room next floor.

Wife goes missing during night, husband reports he fears sleepwalking, full search of hotel conducted with me called in to coordinate in case she has taken ill or fallen in fire escape etc. Found on CCTV several hours later exiting another room. (Checked out alone next morning)

Female mistook room door for toilet door during night and locked herself outside in corridor naked. Got the lift to reception to the delight of the night manager!

American guest smeared his own excrement all over walls, **** the bed and threw his soiled clothes on to conservatory roof from his room. His response to me when I ejected him from hotel “Have you never fell of the wagon before”

Just a few, many more memories, saddest was a suicide I witnessed at close quarters.

Kylie Minogue staying in complete secrecy.

Many more

Hope these two were related!!!

[Saturday Boy]

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Hope these two were related!!!

I should be so lucky 😉

[nellio]

Worst was some dump in Newcastle above a rough pub on a stag do. Got a taxi back on Sat night and the cabbie asked if we were going to the bare knuckle fighting that's held in the beer garden at night every saturday!!!

Best was the vdara in vegas. Phenomenal and had robot delivery for snacks and drinks!!

[HappyAsHellas]

Asked a local taxi driver in Amman if he knew a reasonably priced hotel and he took us to his brothers place. We were walking down the road to the entrance and I thought the road was gravel as it made crunching noises. The light from this somewhat dubious establishment illuminated the hundreds of cockroaches covering the street. Needless to say we u turned and got a different taxi to a different hotel.
Also stayed in another dog hole in Acqaba on the same trip. 21 hours on a bus from Saudi to get a legal beer - in my defence I was younger then.

[wpj]

Stayed in a hotel in Cuba where Al Capone had an entire floor back in the day. Graham Greene also stayed there and wrote Our Man In Havana. Some great photos on the wall in the bar, a lovely art deco place with an outdoor pool and a school opposite where the kids do their PE outdoors and wave to the tourists Apparently Hemmingway was a regular in the bar but I think he drank just about everywhere in Cuba.

[Just Alf]

Stayed in a large London hotel while working, had a really difficult time with reception as they were adamant I'd already Checked in and had my pass card.

Eventually after a LOT of huffing and puffing I was given a "replacement" card.

Got to my room, opened the door and started to walk in, there was a naked gentleman lying on the bed... Errrr... 'Exercising'... who appeared to levitate and fly off behind the bed, then his bright red face popped up behind bed, I quickly made my excuses and left.

Back to reception and after some major apologies they gave me a new card for MY room.

Turns out there were two people in the hotel with the same name!


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[lyonhibs]

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Seeing as we have one for restaurants, it would be interesting/potentially funny to hear about people's best (and, let's face it, worst) experiences in hotels seeing as so many of us stay in them for our holidays/short breaks etc.

For me, living in Switzerland, unless you want to donate an organ for staying in a top place, we're more in the "3* family run market" which has, predominantly, been overwhelmingly positive. Through work perks and some savvy travelling in off-peak seasons, we have been able to stay for rather less than public price in some rather luxury hotels, the pinnacle of which would have to be the Victoria Jungfrau hotel in Interlaken which, between the spa and the breakfast buffet, really is something else.

On the other side of the coin, there have been some funny, rather than outright bad, experiences like when staying in Crans Montana, the rooms of our hotel hadn't been decorated by anyone under the age of 70 for quite a while and the hotel, whilst well located and with large rooms, seemed to be basically empty apart from us and a large group of Hasidic Jews who trooped about in full regalia and always seemed to either be coming from or going down to the hotel's basement where there was, as far as I know, no rooms - so all a bit strange!

As a treat of a night away for my decidedly preggers (and will only be more so come the trip) wife, we're going back to the Victoria Jungfrau again in a couple of weeks. Here's hoping standards haven't slipped