Uche Ikpeazu

[Since452]

Said it a few times that if he wasn't a man mountain he'd be playing non league. Terrible player. Our defence played a blinder and niggled away at him all game and he couldn't cope. Well and trully found out i reckon.

[calumhibee1]

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Said it a few times that if he wasn't a man mountain he'd be playing non league. Terrible player. Our defence played a blinder and niggled away at him all game and he couldn't cope. Well and trully found out i reckon.

Awkward as **** which instantly makes him semi useful. Probably the kind of guy you’d want on your bench to throw on if plan A wasn’t working.

Would hate for him to start games for Hibs though. **** watching that every week.

[vuefrom1875]

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Said it a few times that if he wasn't a man mountain he'd be playing non league. Terrible player. Our defence played a blinder and niggled away at him all game and he couldn't cope. Well and trully found out i reckon.

He's a quarterback 😂😂

[PatHead]

Don't think he has been found out, he is just a huddie.

[we are hibs]

Absolutely zero ability other than being a battering ram. Typical levein striker (when he decides to play with one)

[Killiehibbie]

A football player should be able to kick a ball.

[SouthMoroccoStu]

2 goals in 14 appearances in the league all season....

If he was to learn how to stay on his feet he would be fair more effective

His default position seems to be sat on his backside with his hands in the air complaining he didn't get a freekick

The commentators were very complimentary of him on Saturday - but what Craigan and Sutton know about quality football can be written on a stamp

[Hibeesmad]

Ryan Porteous is a better striker than him

[Stokesy's on fire]

Rowan Vine was a better striker than Ikpeazu what a waste of a jersey but he is the type of Non-footballer Levein loves

[Bostonhibby]

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2 goals in 14 appearances in the league all season....

If he was to learn how to stay on his feet he would be fair more effective

His default position seems to be sat on his backside with his hands in the air complaining he didn't get a freekick

The commentators were very complimentary of him on Saturday - but what Craigan and Sutton know about quality football can be written on a stamp

Exactly this, he's awkward in a bull in a China shop sort of a way and if the yam want to rejoice in a two goal striker who cheats a bit and has the balance of Bambi on ice that's great.

This must be further evidence of the gulf between us that I keep hearing about.

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[Monts]

How bad must that other big striker they were celebrating signing be?!

[Bostonhibby]

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How bad must that other big striker they were celebrating signing be?!

Here's what our family yam sent me about their strikers after I contacted him about our fine win.

"I know but what choice do we have? Only play one way and Levein has left us with McLean who must be his dominoes partner and the utterly hopeless Vanacek who was probably a basketball player that wasn't any good at basketball.

We're horrible to watch".

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[The 90+2]

Utter huddy that has been found out now he’s been sussed to play against. He would do a job though...for Vlads basketball side.

[Fife-Hibee]

Konte may have ducked out of headers, but at least he landed on his feet. This boy is utterly brutal. Would be utterly embarrassed as a Hearts fan to have him in the squad.

[ano hibby]

To prevent him scoring against us in 3 weeks time and this thread looking a bit silly I’d like to compliment him on his work rate, how well he uses his physique, his good third touch and his numerous attempts to swap jerseys with Daz mid game.

[My_Wife_Camille]

He’s exactly the kind of striker I’d love to see at Hibs an an option when Plan A or Plan B isn’t working.

He’s also exactly the kind of striker that Hearts fans love as a their ‘Plan A’ and that’s the reason why they haven’t seen a 20+ goal striker for the best part of 30 years.

[Hibbyradge]

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Here's what our family yam sent me about their strikers after I contacted him about our fine win.

"I know but what choice do we have? Only play one way and Levein has left us with McLean who must be his dominoes partner and the utterly hopeless Vanacek who was probably a basketball player that wasn't any good at basketball.

We're horrible to watch".

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"Family yam"!

[007]

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He's a quarterback 😂😂

😂 True, though quarterbacks aren't the biggest guys on the pitch. Ikpeazu is more like an offensive guard which pretty much describes his role for Hearts.

[Since452]

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To prevent him scoring against us in 3 weeks time and this thread looking a bit silly I’d like to compliment him on his work rate, how well he uses his physique, his good third touch and his numerous attempts to swap jerseys with Daz mid game.

Good 3rd touch haha. Brilliant.

[vuefrom1875]

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😂 True, though quarterbacks aren't the biggest guys on the pitch. Ikpeazu is more like an offensive guard which pretty much describes his role for Hearts.

I sit corrected sir.

[MWHIBBIES]

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He’s exactly the kind of striker I’d love to see at Hibs an an option when Plan A or Plan B isn’t working.

He’s also exactly the kind of striker that Hearts fans love as a their ‘Plan A’ and that’s the reason why they haven’t seen a 20+ goal striker for the best part of 30 years.

Spot on.

[007]

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I sit corrected sir.

You made a good point, he is built like an American Footballer. Looking at the 2014 photo on his Wikipedia page he's beefed up a lot, presumably not with the help of steroids.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uche_Ikpeazu

[.Sean.]

Worth millions though, apparantly 😂😂

[Kojock]

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He's a quarterback 😂😂

Ahh that explains his size it’s all padding under his strip 😂

[easty]

If he was a Game Of Tyrone’s character, he’d be Hodor.

[JimBHibees]

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😂 True, though quarterbacks aren't the biggest guys on the pitch. Ikpeazu is more like an offensive guard which pretty much describes his role for Hearts.

Yep would be more of a linebacker. Absolute cert to now score a hat trick in 3 weeks time.

[Bostonhibby]

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"Family yam"!

Don't really like to call him family but he's an in law so as he's okay, rarely goes to a game and cancelled his DD within weeks of Budge "saving them" I tolerate him.

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[blackpoolhibs]

I would take him at Hibs, he is a bloody handful, and if played the right way in the right team he'd create lots of chances for us.

I said during the match, if he had any real football ability he'd be worth millions, but to ignore what he does bring to a team does him an injustice.

We had folk telling us how good Grant Holt was, when he would fart about out wide or in his own half. This guy actually puts a shift in in the right area's, and as i said with the right kind of football and team around him, i think he'd be an asset in plenty of games.

[Since452]

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I would take him at Hibs, he is a bloody handful, and if played the right way in the right team he'd create lots of chances for us.

I said during the match, if he had any real football ability he'd be worth millions, but to ignore what he does bring to a team does him an injustice.

We had folk telling us how good Grant Holt was, when he would fart about out wide or in his own half. This guy actually puts a shift in in the right area's, and as i said with the right kind of football and team around him, i think he'd be an asset in plenty of games.

To be fair Grant Holt played EPL and Championship football for years. Uche couldn't tie his laces. His sheer size makes him a handful but now defenders are working him out he just seems to fall over a lot.

[Aim Here]

I think you're all being overly hard on Ikpeazu. I mean, sure, we have three defenders who've each scored more league goals than Uche, but just look at the guy. He's big. He runs at people, through people, or over people. If you're attuned to Jambo sensibilities, how can you NOT want someone who looks like that on your team? How can you not want to see defenders simply trampled underfoot? Think of all the fun you can have posting little gifs and video clips of him running over defenders on the internet! He's worth it for aesthetic considerations alone. If he ever manages to score more than 1 goal in 10 league games, that would be a bonus.

It's not all winning games and scoring goals you know. Jambos have other needs too, and Ikpeazu fulfils those to a tee.