Cheesy commentary

[hibeesjoe]

Listened too a bit of the final today on the radio. When the commentator said McNamara was "earning his corn" I was in stitches. Scottish pundits seem to have the most cringey patter going. Thought it would be a bit of fun if we got a list going. A few of my favourites are

He's got that in his locker

He brings that too the table

Top drawer

Feel free to add.

[HibsNutter]

It's also noticeable that Sportscene as well as Sportsound is cliche central. Wonder how much these guys are paid to spout the same lines about different teams every week.

[Jones28]

He's got that in his locker

That has to be the most overused sportsound cliche ever

[Michael]

The host of sportscene is always going on about 'juicy bits of action to get our teeth stuck into' and stuff like that. Urgh.

[Greentinted]

"He's asking questions of the United defence"
WTF? Is it a game o fitba' or University Challenge?

And the new nonsense cliche - "He just about did enough." Well in that case he didn't. Cretins.

[Stevie Reid]

Gets on my wick when they put adverbs in front of the word 'decent' - "Very decent", "quite decent" etc. Waiting for the day when someone utters, "it doesn't get much more decent than that".

Football pundits abuse the word 'literally' in terrible fashion also. After the Man Utd game on Monday, Roy Keane was defending Van Gaal and said "he's literally been in the door two minutes". Ok then.

I could go on, so many of them spout utter *****.

[McKenzie]

"He's almost hit it too well" naw he's hit it how he hoped, you never mean to scuff a shot. Annoying

[Stevie Reid]

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And the new nonsense cliche - "He just about did enough."

I hate that as well.

[Haymaker]

"That one stayed hit."

[Sergey]

The late Arthur Montford used to proclaim, "that was almost a brilliant pass" as some player sprayed it from deep right down the defender throat.

Giving away possession = Almost a brilliant pass.

[Stevie Reid]

Anything said by Andy Townsend.

[21.05.2016]

"end to end stuff"

"game of two halves"

[Haymaker]

"It hit the back of the net."

If you think about it... It hit the front of the net. The back would be behind, facing the fans.

[Greentinted]

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Anything said by Andy Townsend.

Yes, the very man I was thinking about earlier in the thread - He's just about a summariser!

[Stevie Reid]

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Yes, the very man I was thinking about earlier in the thread - He's just about a summariser!

[Stevie Reid]

I can't be arsed when they come out with "one thing's for sure, no one will want a replay, no one wants an extra game at this stage of the season" when the bigger teams are involved in cup ties in the latter part of the season.

Funnily enough, if you win the tie you have to play an extra game as well.

[Broken Gnome]

BBC Scotland seems entirely comprised of idiots, the newer guard like Sutherland and McLeod as opposed to the older ones, who have never been presenters or commentators. Yet one day the bosses realised Dougie Donnelly wasn't really up for it anymore so they had to beg the whole team of sub-editors to cram on 'Match commentary for diddies' and get behind a mic pronto.

Unlistenable OTT idiots. Hibs should forfeit the cup until someone decent comes along to soundtrack it.

[hibeesjoe]

Some great replies. I'm going to watch the highlights tonight and hopefully a few more cheesy cliches will appear

[Joe's ice cream]

Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

[ancient hibee]

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Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

Yes heard marginally offside today.

He went down easily.

[Matty_Jack04]

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"He's asking questions of the United defence"
WTF? Is it a game o fitba' or University Challenge?

And the new nonsense cliche - "He just about did enough." Well in that case he didn't. Cretins.

Worst thing about football IMO and it's suddenly everywhere! Massive pet peeve of mine 'and the goalkeeper just about done enough there' so it's a goal then is it? Oh no he actually did do enough!

[Haymaker]

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Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

YES!

[Broken Gnome]

Parity being restored.

No one in football apartfrom a commentator would ever say that.

[jacomo]

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Gets on my wick when they put adverbs in front of the word 'decent' - "Very decent", "quite decent" etc. Waiting for the day when someone utters, "it doesn't get much more decent than that".

Football pundits abuse the word 'literally' in terrible fashion also. After the Man Utd game on Monday, Roy Keane was defending Van Gaal and said "he's literally been in the door two minutes". Ok then.

I could go on, so many of them spout utter *****.

Jamie Redknapp: 'The ball was literally served on a plate for Rooney there.'

Surely that's a foul?

[Sammy7nil]

Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

[woodythehibee]

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Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

That always annoys me too. Similarly with "your Man Utd's, Liverpool's and Chelsea's"

[Corstorphine Hibby]

Davie 'he's never getting there ' Provan.
D#ck.

[Mibbes Aye]

This season's cliche for the punditocracy is definitely when someone commits a foul and the co-commentator/analyst (and I use those terms loosely) says:

"He's given the referee a decision to make, he didn't need to do that, blah blah blah......."

I blame the Neviller as he's the first I heard saying it but it's spread like a rather nasty virus.

[Peevemor]

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Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

Sorry, I disagree on both points.

Often a team reduced to 10 men will abandon any thoughts of attacking, thus killing the match as a spectacle.

As for the second point, of course there's a difference between being 'just' or 'well' offside. If don't see anything wrong with saying so.

[Mentalbarnett]

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Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

This video sums this statement up perfectly.https://youtu.be/entup0bSYjw