The Rangers Salary Reductions - What Really Happened

[Keith_M]

Our undercover reporter has now exclusively revealed the actual sequence of events to 'hibs.net'.


Wallace and McCoist sit in the Blue Room

McCoist: "Hello, hello, Boss"

Wallace: "Well Mr McCoist, even after many years of experience in business, this company stands out as one of the most profligate I've come across"

McCoist: "Ehm, right boss, sure, ehm... what??"

Wallace: "Your spending far too much money"

McCoist: "Aw right, cheers boss, Ahm with ye noo. Aye too right, it's a pure disgrace sho it is."

Wallace: "We need to make immediate cuts to the cost base, starting with the Salary"

McCoist: "Too right boss, totally, ah dunno how it got in that mesh in the fursht place".

Wallace: "Really? Then who signed the players"

McCoist: "Dunno Boss, ah never thought tae ashk"

Wallace: "Okaaay...well...anyway. We'll need to start with the players. Could you go and ask them if they'd be willing to take a pay cut?"

McCoist: "No problem Boss, Ah could totally dae that, Ah think they're aw totally overpaid innat"


Outside Dressing Room Door, McCoist to McCulloch.

McCoist: "Aw Lee, yull nivir believe what they evil Bosses jist asked me tae dae. They asked me tae tel yis tae take a pay cut. Pyoor beelin so Ah wis."

McCulloch: "Which one of the Bosses was it Ally"

McCoist: "Ehm no sure Lee, ah never thought tae ashk. Anyway, away in ye go and let me know whit they say"

McCulloch: "Me Ally? But you're the Manager!"

McCoist: "That's right, and Ahm 150% behind ye anaw"

McCoist pushes McCulloch through Dressing Room door. Locks it behind him, jusht, ehm sorry I mean 'just' in case.


Later, McCoist arrives back at the Blue Room with the bad news.

McCoist: "Hello, hello. Jeezo boss, yull nivir buleev it, the players huv said naw tae yur perfectly reasonable wage demands"

Wallace: "Oh that's a shame. Who did you speak to"

McCoist: "Dunno boss, ah never thought tae ashk"

Wallace: "Oh that is a real shame. So, we'll just have to think of other ways to reduce costs. I understand you yourself very kindly offered to reduce your Salary by up to 50%. That's very noble of you. Now, let's get down to the details of that."

.... "Ally! Ally!! Oh where HAS he gone now?"

[NAE NOOKIE]

No bad mate

Given that The Rangers are nearly 100% supported by folk who used to support Rangers they must be proud .. very very proud .. that their new club have continued the finest traditions of their last club with mind boggling financial mismanagement and pissing away the hard earned cash of the supporters.

What a great club ......

[Eyrie]

Good stuff, except for one small detail - surely McCoist would demand to know who these people are?