Our undercover reporter has now exclusively revealed the actual sequence of events to 'hibs.net'.


Wallace and McCoist sit in the Blue Room

McCoist: "Hello, hello, Boss"

Wallace: "Well Mr McCoist, even after many years of experience in business, this company stands out as one of the most profligate I've come across"

McCoist: "Ehm, right boss, sure, ehm... what??"

Wallace: "Your spending far too much money"

McCoist: "Aw right, cheers boss, Ahm with ye noo. Aye too right, it's a pure disgrace sho it is."

Wallace: "We need to make immediate cuts to the cost base, starting with the Salary"

McCoist: "Too right boss, totally, ah dunno how it got in that mesh in the fursht place".

Wallace: "Really? Then who signed the players"

McCoist: "Dunno Boss, ah never thought tae ashk"

Wallace: "Okaaay...well...anyway. We'll need to start with the players. Could you go and ask them if they'd be willing to take a pay cut?"

McCoist: "No problem Boss, Ah could totally dae that, Ah think they're aw totally overpaid innat"


Outside Dressing Room Door, McCoist to McCulloch.

McCoist: "Aw Lee, yull nivir believe what they evil Bosses jist asked me tae dae. They asked me tae tel yis tae take a pay cut. Pyoor beelin so Ah wis."

McCulloch: "Which one of the Bosses was it Ally"

McCoist: "Ehm no sure Lee, ah never thought tae ashk. Anyway, away in ye go and let me know whit they say"

McCulloch: "Me Ally? But you're the Manager!"

McCoist: "That's right, and Ahm 150% behind ye anaw"

McCoist pushes McCulloch through Dressing Room door. Locks it behind him, jusht, ehm sorry I mean 'just' in case.


Later, McCoist arrives back at the Blue Room with the bad news.

McCoist: "Hello, hello. Jeezo boss, yull nivir buleev it, the players huv said naw tae yur perfectly reasonable wage demands"

Wallace: "Oh that's a shame. Who did you speak to"

McCoist: "Dunno boss, ah never thought tae ashk"

Wallace: "Oh that is a real shame. So, we'll just have to think of other ways to reduce costs. I understand you yourself very kindly offered to reduce your Salary by up to 50%. That's very noble of you. Now, let's get down to the details of that."

.... "Ally! Ally!! Oh where HAS he gone now?"