The Pedantic_Hibee Memorial Transfer Deadline Day Thread

[nonshinyfinish]

It is with a heavy heart and a glum countenance that I start this thread. Pedantic_Hibee, who so masterfully directed the exquisite mayhem of Transfer Deadline Day in the past two windows, cannot be with us. Equally famous for his surreal TDD missives and his anti-Hertz rhetoric (actually both the football club and the car hire company; the latter just comes up less often on here), PH is a .net colossus. Without his input, 2013's first TDD may well be a pale shadow of what has gone before.

But I come here to praise PH, not to bury him. For one thing, he's not even dead, just in gainful employment and therefore unable to spend 18 hours in his pants on his living room floor, hard-wired into the internet. The selfish dick. Regardless, at the behest of the .net PMs* I am stepping in to breach. Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. I hope that today is the day that I am on the receiving end of a great thrust from powers unseen.

Unhappily I am also working today, but early start = early finish, and so I shall return on my trusty steed (a Peugeot racing bike by the name of Zinedine) at 3.30, stopping only to stock up on Irn-Bru, Hula Hoops and crystal meth. By then, I trust this will have organically become a twitching trouser-snake of a thread, combining moments of raw hilarity with others of staggering, heart-stopping beauty.

You will have heard the rumours that PH is to return, sweeping in like an electronic Jim White to guide us to the frenzied climax. You may even have heard that he'll be appearing with Jim White on SSN. Both may be true, or neither - talk of jobs and commitment could be a dazzling feint, and PH could already be face-down in his first grab bag of Chilli Heatwave Doritos. Let come what may.

There may even be a transfer.


* A single PM of questionable wisdom suggested that I should start the thread.

[nonshinyfinish]

P.S. For those who prefer transfers to be the main course, rather than a distant relative of whatever direction the thread takes, there is a more serious transfer thread here.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Startlingly brilliant opening gambit, Shiny.

I am currently greetin' on an X44 bus on my way to work with only a lukewarm can of fizzy pop and a packet of Quavers. Depressing scenes on Lithuania Regional Transport.

My ETA is 7pm for tonight's festivities. I had the foresight to indulge in a shopping trip in preparation for this evening. Far less spend half an hour sweating my Mark McGraw's off beside the oven, I have arranged a veritable banquet of brown bread and Swedish krisprolls to provide the foundations for my cheese, coleslaw, wafer thin chickens and hams as well as the juvenile procurement of Primula. A varied selection of crisps will follow with the potential for an Angel Slice should I take a fancy for a sugar rush.

Twitter, BBC Sport, .net, Pm Board and Sky website are already tabbed on the laptop whilst I have set the Sky Channel to 405 on the box to save vital seconds upon my return.

No stone has been left unturned in my pursuit of TDD thrills.

I may also have a phantom bout of the trots during office hours to enable an intermittent swatch at .net in trap 1.

Until then, fight the good fight, adorn this page with gifs, nubile women and culinary choices for the day.

[hibs4thecup1988]

[R'Albin]

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* A single PM of questionable wisdom suggested that I should start the thread.

I know I should be offended by this, but I just can't, this thread is beautiful.

[Gatecrasher]

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Startlingly brilliant opening gambit, Shiny.

I am currently greetin' on an X44 bus on my way to work with only a lukewarm can of fizzy pop and a packet of Quavers. Depressing scenes on Lithuania Regional Transport.

My ETA is 7pm for tonight's festivities. I had the foresight to indulge in a shopping trip in preparation for this evening. Far less spend half an hour sweating my Mark McGraw's off beside the oven, I have arranged a veritable banquet of brown bread and Swedish krisprolls to provide the foundations for my cheese, coleslaw, wafer thin chickens and hams as well as the juvenile procurement of Primula. A varied selection of crisps will follow with the potential for an Angel Slice should I take a fancy for a sugar rush.

Twitter, BBC Sport, .net, Pm Board and Sky website are already tabbed on the laptop whilst I have set the Sky Channel to 405 on the box to save vital seconds upon my return.

No stone has been left unturned in my pursuit of TDD thrills.

I may also have a phantom bout of the trots during office hours to enable an intermittent swatch at .net in trap 1.

Until then, fight the good fight, adorn this page with gifs, nubile women and culinary choices for the day.

At least you will be home in time for Jim White

[lyonhibs]

I'm having to factor in the +1 hour difference here, meaning that I'll get in a few hours between work and some sport called "badminton" I've been roped into playing later, then a couple afterwards.

Crisp sandwiches will be consumed, top ups of cigarettes and booze will be bought and any number of spurious food-related (or maybe not....) debates will inevitably spring up as the day progresses.

However, the only football-related content of this thread can be Hibs related, Hearts firesale related, Jim White praising or updates as Harry Redknapp winds down his car window at the exit of Spurs training ground (yes, I know he's not actually their manager any more, but doubtless he'll find a reason to loiter there today, just for old times sake)

[scoopyboy]

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Startlingly brilliant opening gambit, Shiny.

I am currently greetin' on an X44 bus on my way to work with only a lukewarm can of fizzy pop and a packet of Quavers. Depressing scenes on Lithuania Regional Transport.

My ETA is 7pm for tonight's festivities. I had the foresight to indulge in a shopping trip in preparation for this evening. Far less spend half an hour sweating my Mark McGraw's off beside the oven, I have arranged a veritable banquet of brown bread and Swedish krisprolls to provide the foundations for my cheese, coleslaw, wafer thin chickens and hams as well as the juvenile procurement of Primula. A varied selection of crisps will follow with the potential for an Angel Slice should I take a fancy for a sugar rush.

Twitter, BBC Sport, .net, Pm Board and Sky website are already tabbed on the laptop whilst I have set the Sky Channel to 405 on the box to save vital seconds upon my return.

No stone has been left unturned in my pursuit of TDD thrills.

I may also have a phantom bout of the trots during office hours to enable an intermittent swatch at .net in trap 1.

Until then, fight the good fight, adorn this page with gifs, nubile women and culinary choices for the day.

A true legend.

[Hibby70]

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At least you will be home in time for Jim White

I thought he'd already done one in trap 1

[PatHead]

Absolutely gutted that I am about to set off for work and haven't seen a packet of Quavers far less sight of Harry Rednapp on SSN. He is probably filling up with petrol for his frequent drives up and down the driveway at QPRs training facility before peaking out the window to utter some words of wisdom.

Although I will try and pop in and out of the hibs.net, I won't finish work until about 8.30 so will miss the bulk of the day but will invest in a large packet of Haribos, 6 pack of Quavers and a bottle of red cola so I am there in spirit. Have a great day lads and I hope pedantic remembered to get dressed this morning as I have heard of rumours of a man seen on the X44 wearing only a pair of 3 day old pants. Complete with piss stains and skid marks after being turned inside out. (Probably Harry which would explain his absence from the telly)

[flash]

Just tucked a haggis roll with hp sauce away.
That should get things moving.

[Benny Brazil]

0916:
HARRY REDKNAPP INTERVIEWED THROUGH A CAR WINDOW
Deadline day has definitely started now. Yes, the QPR manager has just been interviewed as he arrives for training. He appears to have confirmed the signing of defender Chris Samba, saying "it is good we have brought him in to replace Ryan Nelsen," but that is not a definite done deal yet.


On BBC website - at least some part of the TDD is staying as normal even though PH isnt here.

[down-the-slope]

having been out since dark O'Clock I can confirm the weather is almost as miserable as last nights match thread - in fact its so bad I would not even make the mother in law goto the post box

My plans this week have altered more often than a woman's mind choosing shoes, meaning I am a tad unprepared for todays events. It may require some rummaging in the rear of the fridge for those Christmas cheese & pickles that have thus far failed to be ejected by the food police. This may require some inventive form of nachos by melting said cheeses over pickles smeared on the ignored shoved to the back of the cupboard crisps & snacks......a veritable culinary napalm ....it could be the most extraordinarily unexpected delight....or a gut wrenching farce that leaves me feeling ill for days.....A bit like watching Hibs then

So far the window has brought too much concrete activity...so much so that the climax may not match the expectation...we can only hope that random sightings at airports and train stations mixed with better snack options and updates from TRAP 1 might provide the excitement required

[xyz23jc]

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Absolutely gutted that I am about to set off for work and haven't seen a packet of Quavers far less sight of Harry Rednapp on SSN. He is probably filling up with petrol for his frequent drives up and down the driveway at QPRs training facility before peaking out the window to utter some words of wisdom.

Although I will try and pop in and out of the hibs.net, I won't finish work until about 8.30 so will miss the bulk of the day but will invest in a large packet of Haribos, 6 pack of Quavers and a bottle of red cola so I am there in spirit. Have a great day lads and I hope pedantic remembered to get dressed this morning as I have heard of rumours of a man seen on the X44 wearing only a pair of 3 day old pants. Complete with piss stains and skid marks after being turned inside out. (Probably Harry which would explain his absence from the telly)

Pretty sure that's George Foulkes....

[Green Man]

I am at work today, but the office is pretty quiet so I hope to be able to keep a semi-regular eye on TDD goings on. Annoyingly I have my end of year performance review this afternoon so will be out of the game for a whole hour. Once work is done, the wife is well aware of the importance of this day so I will be returning home to sit on the couch from approximately half 5 until the window slams shut at 11. I am informed that spaghetti bolognaise will be provided for tea; for the rest of the evening I have some chocolate remaining from Christmas, including a fairly large Toblerone. Should I require a cold beverage my fridge contains four cans of Carlsberg Export, also remaining from Christmas, which is not of the high standard I aspire to in my drinking but seems appropriate for the occasion.

[Oscar T Grouch]

Thanks for cheering me up with this thread on what is a thoroughly miserable morning Keep up the good work and humour, got a feeling I will need this today.

GGTTH

[jodjam]

Is it too much to ask for a striker and wide man tonight?

No it's not too much. I want more. I want the lovely Natalie to take a break as she has to pop out to wipe some of the alcohol-based drool that jim has dribbled on her top. (who is running a book for Sawyers dress colour tonight?)

Then the gorgeous Rachel Wyse comes off the bench and delivers the news us fans want that pat has got a forward and wing man. Oh to hear it delivered in that soft irish lilt would be just fine

[Sylar]

Ah - a day when having refused to make the transition yet from PhD student to Researcher a worthwhile decision.

The TV is already on SSN, the first brew of coffee has been set to go and the cupboard is stocked with all necessary supplies.

It just won't be the same without PH and NSF leading the charge but hopefully there are an array of young upstarts hoping to make a name for themselves and attempt to fill the hollow.

[IWasThere2016]

If Pedantic really wanted to be here, he'd be here We true TDD Uberfans are!

[R'Albin]

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(who is running a book for Sawyers dress colour tonight?)

I've only ever once put money on money on the colour of somebody's dress before. I put a tenner on the Queen's dress being yellow at the opening ceremony, but the bitch decided to wear a coral pink colour



Just look at her, smug cow.

[Jones28]

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It is with a heavy heart and a glum countenance that I start this thread. Pedantic_Hibee, who so masterfully directed the exquisite mayhem of Transfer Deadline Day in the past two windows, cannot be with us. Equally famous for his surreal TDD missives and his anti-Hertz rhetoric (actually both the football club and the car hire company; the latter just comes up less often on here), PH is a .net colossus. Without his input, 2013's first TDD may well be a pale shadow of what has gone before.

But I come here to praise PH, not to bury him. For one thing, he's not even dead, just in gainful employment and therefore unable to spend 18 hours in his pants on his living room floor, hard-wired into the internet. The selfish dick. Regardless, at the behest of the .net PMs* I am stepping in to breach. Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. I hope that today is the day that I am on the receiving end of a great thrust from powers unseen.

Unhappily I am also working today, but early start = early finish, and so I shall return on my trusty steed (a Peugeot racing bike by the name of Zinedine) at 3.30, stopping only to stock up on Irn-Bru, Hula Hoops and crystal meth. By then, I trust this will have organically become a twitching trouser-snake of a thread, combining moments of raw hilarity with others of staggering, heart-stopping beauty.

You will have heard the rumours that PH is to return, sweeping in like an electronic Jim White to guide us to the frenzied climax. You may even have heard that he'll be appearing with Jim White on SSN. Both may be true, or neither - talk of jobs and commitment could be a dazzling feint, and PH could already be face-down in his first grab bag of Chilli Heatwave Doritos. Let come what may.

There may even be a transfer.


* A single PM of questionable wisdom suggested that I should start the thread.

This is the single best opening post to any thread, ever

[Speedway]

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At least you will be home in time for Jim White

Quick word to the wise re: snack choices today. If you indulge in Snickers or Topics, chew thoroughly. Mastercating with care allows for a very gentle Jim White when the times comes.

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Is it too much to ask for a striker and wide man tonight?

No it's not too much. I want more. I want the lovely Natalie to take a break as she has to pop out to wipe some of the alcohol-based drool that jim has dribbled on her top. (who is running a book for Sawyers dress colour tonight?)

Then the gorgeous Rachel Wyse comes off the bench and delivers the news us fans want that pat has got a forward and wing man. Oh to hear it delivered in that soft irish lilt would be just fine

Jim Gray and David Duff have just been spotted heading into ER to we've got a chance of two wide men today.

[Hibrandenburg]

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It is with a heavy heart and a glum countenance that I start this thread. Pedantic_Hibee, who so masterfully directed the exquisite mayhem of Transfer Deadline Day in the past two windows, cannot be with us. Equally famous for his surreal TDD missives and his anti-Hertz rhetoric (actually both the football club and the car hire company; the latter just comes up less often on here), PH is a .net colossus. Without his input, 2013's first TDD may well be a pale shadow of what has gone before.

But I come here to praise PH, not to bury him. For one thing, he's not even dead, just in gainful employment and therefore unable to spend 18 hours in his pants on his living room floor, hard-wired into the internet. The selfish dick. Regardless, at the behest of the .net PMs* I am stepping in to breach. Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. I hope that today is the day that I am on the receiving end of a great thrust from powers unseen.

Unhappily I am also working today, but early start = early finish, and so I shall return on my trusty steed (a Peugeot racing bike by the name of Zinedine) at 3.30, stopping only to stock up on Irn-Bru, Hula Hoops and crystal meth. By then, I trust this will have organically become a twitching trouser-snake of a thread, combining moments of raw hilarity with others of staggering, heart-stopping beauty.

You will have heard the rumours that PH is to return, sweeping in like an electronic Jim White to guide us to the frenzied climax. You may even have heard that he'll be appearing with Jim White on SSN. Both may be true, or neither - talk of jobs and commitment could be a dazzling feint, and PH could already be face-down in his first grab bag of Chilli Heatwave Doritos. Let come what may.

There may even be a transfer.


* A single PM of questionable wisdom suggested that I should start the thread.

I hope you've not started with the money shot.

[s.a.m]

Mr Rhinoceros‏@MrNorthiceIn Sweden, we celebrate Transfer Deadline Day on what you call Transfer Deadline Day Eve. Today, we regret our indulgence.

[Jones28]

Well it's been a fairly subdued start to TDD on my part, had first breakfast and took the dog out. Anyone got any advice on what to go for food-wise next? Is bacon combined with bread a suitable choice on this day of days? Do we know our SSN line up for the day?

I love TDD

[Speedway]

Can we not merge the two threads? It would be much more entertaining.

[R'Albin]

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Can we not merge the two threads? It would be much more entertaining.

Yeah I second this, what made these threads so great is that they're a good blend of funnies as well as actual news.

[Sylar]

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Can we not merge the two threads? It would be much more entertaining.

Seconded

Balotelli has signed for AC Milan.

[R'Albin]

Talk (albeit not very much) of Niall McGinn going to Leeds, that would be great news for us.

[Hibrandenburg]

Well now off out the door to meet with our board and get into what I expect to be some hefty renumeration negotiations. May Rod be with me. I'm sure the workforce won't mind taking a less than inflation pay rise providing Hibs get a few new good signings.

Get intae them Rod!