Depression and anxiety

[Diclonius]

I've kept up with this thread for a long time but never posted, partly because it can be difficult at times to talk about these sort of things in a public forum, and partly because everything I could say has been put so well by everyone else on here.

However, as someone who's dealt off and (primarily) on with severe anxiety and depression for well over a decade, I sincerely hope 90+2 is feeling better now and getting the help he needs. It can be, and is, a ****ing awful thing to cope with.

[Pretty Boy]

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I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...el-a-bit-****/

Another good read.

I think sometimes we downplay the small things. With my mental health I often search for the big cause. Why do I feel like this sometimes? It must be some huge reason and it frustrates me that I don't understand it, I almost find it insulting. Truth is I think it is just as likely to be a culmination of small things. Dark nights, cancelled plans, a ***** year...... Fair enough the last one is pretty ****ing big.

It's a miserable time at the moment. I think even those who are coping well with all that is going on would find it hard to argue otherwise. Maybe it is setting us up to really appreciate the small things when this all blows over though. We'll inevitably slip back into complacency but for a while all the things we took for granted will be amazing.

[wpj]

It's no secret i have ongoing health issues, been contacted by a few poster and im grateful. Tomorrow I have a series of tests at hospital and possibly an overnight stay although I doubt that due to to the current situation and beds are at a premium. The current weather and darkness is affecting me more than previous years, never bothered me previously but this year added to my health issues I'm struggling. I can relate to the posters who have no access to their kids, I haven't seen my wee girl for months and miss her so much, long story short all the rules are being dictated by her mum which kicking my erchie despite keeping on my maintenance payments I feel helpless. I do get to talk to her and she randomly messages me but nothing replaces a cuddle

[Sylar]

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It's no secret i have ongoing health issues, been contacted by a few poster and im grateful. Tomorrow I have a series of tests at hospital and possibly an overnight stay although I doubt that due to to the current situation and beds are at a premium. The current weather and darkness is affecting me more than previous years, never bothered me previously but this year added to my health issues I'm struggling. I can relate to the posters who have no access to their kids, I haven't seen my wee girl for months and miss her so much, long story short all the rules are being dictated by her mum which kicking my erchie despite keeping on my maintenance payments I feel helpless. I do get to talk to her and she randomly messages me but nothing replaces a cuddle

Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow, sir. The dark nights usually don't bother me too much but this year, on top of everything else, it's an amplification. Factor in that some places already have their Christmas lights on and it's a very weird time of year. Totally understand your pain at not seeing your wee lass, too. My 3 year old and wife spent 2 weeks isolating at my in-laws after a positive case at my daughter's nursery - those 2 weeks were pretty awful and I can't imagine a longer term absence. Is there anything you can do to get more access? It sounds like it would definitely help you.

[wpj]

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Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow, sir. The dark nights usually don't bother me too much but this year, on top of everything else, it's an amplification. Factor in that some places already have their Christmas lights on and it's a very weird time of year. Totally understand your pain at not seeing your wee lass, too. My 3 year old and wife spent 2 weeks isolating at my in-laws after a positive case at my daughter's nursery - those 2 weeks were pretty awful and I can't imagine a longer term absence. Is there anything you can do to get more access? It sounds like it would definitely help you.

Thanks, I'm working on access but given my health issues I need to get better before I can have her here and totally get her mum's concern. I'm post stroke so confused and weak so I get it. Got to get sorted and prove I can look after myself to prove I can look after her. Strangely lockdown is giving me the time and space to get better, for a 5 year old she completely understands the situation

[McD]

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I’ll miss so so many people my children that I’ve not see since I left their mum eventually being treated like **** but the way I’m living is worse and people saying it will get better don’t know a **** if they’re missing their daughter in P1 and having to live with the guilt trip of doing everyone for them and it seems I’ve just deserted them. I’ve not now slept for two weeks 🤣🤣 she said I could meet her and my baby who is two yesterday after I was at the doctors in her area only to say nah I’m not man enough to tell my family I was meeting her even though I said I would take a video for my mum. I genuinely genuinely hate my life and only do so for my children and not to Upset my parents. I keep looking at how to end things now. At least I’ve life insurance for the children.

mate, I know I’m late to this, but please please keep thinking of how much love you have for your children, and how much love they have for you.

reach out and talk to anyone, loads on here, me included, or anyone else, will absolutely be there to listen and talk. I saw later in the thread you’ve texted someone a few times, I’m so relieved to hear that, please keep doing that

[JimBHibees]

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I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...el-a-bit-****/

That's a good read well done can certainly relate to a lot of that especially this time of year.

[Jones28]

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I scribbled on my blog a few minutes ago. A fairly aimless post to be fair, but it might ring true with a few. I think it’s just that time of year...

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...el-a-bit-****/

A really good read. Lots of good points raised - especially beating yourself up about a routine you've set yourself.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

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A really good read. Lots of good points raised - especially beating yourself up about a routine you've set yourself.

I think as someone mentioned previously, often difficult to know whether you're saying the right or wrong things - but talking is better than silence and there are no (apart from the obvious!) right or wrong answers but I guess there's options. Sometimes the positive options are just there, known and then they appear to shrink or fade away, become less obvious. Reframing things and looking at things from different perspectives sounds great and can possibly help - it must be sooo difficult in the current lockdown situation where gaining such perspective is reduced with the lack of face to face access - although there are ways around that - but as also mentioned above no substitute for a hug.

I've been thinking about the darkness and how it affects most of us to varying degrees and with my wife not looking forward to this season - folks from other sunny places find this period a toughie - I got to thinking how to turn things into a positive - this just now trend and no substitute for people mind.

Well there's a thread on the PM board about Jupiter, Saturn and Mars - with the darkness comes viewing possibilities - and the earlier it gets dark the less time you have to wait to sit up for things.

I used to be keen on astronomy as a kid this re-ignited my interest, I also went fishing with my boy for the first time and actually caught a fish - first time on my own and only the second in my life. So thinking back to rediscovering passions from your youth that for one reason or not didn't materialise could be something to consider.

Orrabest people. And 90+2 wishing you all the best. Rest up sleep for Scotland hope you're back on a more even keel soon. Take care and know that there are people that don't even know you that do care and there's the foundation of your kid and family and friends. Theres bits of sunshine amongst the wind today - fresh, nice, Scotland. Might fit in another 3 seasons before the day is out!

[stu in nottingham]

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has anyone spoken to 90+2?

Had a wee word earlier yesterday Jimmy.

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I think as someone mentioned previously, often difficult to know whether you're saying the right or wrong things - but talking is better than silence and there are no (apart from the obvious!) right or wrong answer.s but I guess there's options.

I was talking about this subject just yesterday in a team meeting with other practitioners. Even among professionals there can sometimes be some apprehension and lack of understanding on how to do this I find. In general I tend to be fairly direct about the subject with clients. I also think it's helpful to 'normalise' the subject and the thoughts people are having about it. We can say that the worst thing to do is say nothing. Couple of things here:

'Talking To A Suicidal Person
Here we encounter another great myth about suicide, the notion that talking to someone about their suicidal thoughts is somehow encouraging them to carry out the act. In these situations, it is important to begin a dialogue, to initiate a conversation about the subject. The conversation can include discussion about sources of help and assistance such as attending the GP or a therapist. It is wise to identify a help line such as The Samaritans and to keep that number in their phone or wallet/purse. An agreement can be made to follow up these actions with a future chat in which progress can be reported and reviewed.
I feel it’s better to be fairly direct with a person by asking similar to the following questions:

• How are you coping with your problems?
• Are you thinking about dying or hurting yourself?
• Have you made any plans to take your own life?

The latter – making the distinction between a person experiencing suicidal thoughts and one who is actually making the plans to do it is of high importance. This is not only for the helper/listener but also for the person themselves in understanding and clarifying their own situation a little better.'

https://stuartfrew.wordpress.com/201...cide-ideation/

[The 90+2]

I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

[stu in nottingham]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Really good to hear from you mate. Try not to feel embarrassed, remember the way this works here is that reading others' words is a help to others, it enables and encourages them to talk themselves and that can never be a bad thing. Please don't feel as though you need to provide an explanation of what's going on. If you feel you want to that's fine and good but do that if and when it feels good for you.

Simply this, I know I speak for many others here when I see you're still with us and talking a wee bit. Take your own good time with things and know that you've got a lot of support here. I can say it's a real lift to have you around.

[Jakhog1]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Really glad to hear that nothing to be embarrassed about, the best and most bravest thing you could do by talking and acknowledging your feelings, I don't know you but you definitely had me worried for you, sounds from your message that you are in a better place, keep fighting mate and us hibbies are here for you

[hibbydog]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance ��

I've never met you or even crossed paths on here, but I feel compelled to post you a message of support. I can identify with your feelings and I really hope you turn the corner. I've found that these difficult times magnify previously small problems and puts a massive strain on everything.

3 points on Saturday would certainly lift the spirits :-)

Joking aside, I hope you're alright mate

GGTTH

[Future17]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Good to hear from you and, as others have said, there's nothing to be embarrassed about when you have the courage to admit you're not OK.

Of course you're right about Hearts...just don't get your hopes up for the BBC to do a propaganda fluff-piece documentary about you as well. :

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-man-on-a-bus/

[McD]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

there’s no embarrassment in acknowledging you’re in a bad place, quite the opposite mate. It takes a lot of courage to say what you did, and I’m sure I speak for many on here that I was really glad to see you’d posted.

there’s always someone who will be there to listen, or to talk, or support you however you you need it, whether that’s here or elsewhere.

[Pretty Boy]

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Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-man-on-a-bus/

I think most people who have read your posts on here over the years knew you had a bit of a way with words. However to write something like that off the cuff on the bus is a gift. I could sit with a blank piece of paper and a month of free time and would struggle to come up with anything that measures up.

I'm not sure if saying I 'enjoy' these is the right tunrn of phrase, there is some pretty serious subject matter but I find them gripping.

[jonty]

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I think most people who have read your posts on here over the years knew you had a bit of a way with words. However to write something like that off the cuff on the bus is a gift. I could sit with a blank piece of paper and a month of free time and would struggle to come up with anything that measures up.

I'm not sure if saying I 'enjoy' these is the right tunrn of phrase, there is some pretty serious subject matter but I find them gripping.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

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I think most people who have read your posts on here over the years knew you had a bit of a way with words. However to write something like that off the cuff on the bus is a gift. I could sit with a blank piece of paper and a month of free time and would struggle to come up with anything that measures up.

I'm not sure if saying I 'enjoy' these is the right tunrn of phrase, there is some pretty serious subject matter but I find them gripping.

Wow. Thank you. Coming from someone like yourself who I regard as my favourite and most worldly wise poster on here, that’s a delightful compliment to receive. I’m chuffed. Thank you.

[calumhibee1]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Glad to hear you’re ok mate. You’re a brave man - absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m sure I speak for everyone on here when they say we’re all available should you ever need someone to talk to.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

90+2, glad to hear you’re bearing up. I PM’d you yesterday however there’s no rush to read it nor respond. In fact you don’t even need to respond. Or read it for that matter.

Do things at your own pace and look after yourself, fella 💚

[Sir David Gray]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, I wish you all the best and hope you get the help and support that you need and deserve.

Well done for speaking up.

[sleeping giant]

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I’m very very happy (not the word) and appreciate all kind words and the messages I’ve been sent it’s so appreciated. Just now I’m a mixture of embarrassed to reply and don’t want to face up to it but also still just can’t kick feelings in my head that I’ve spoken to someone about. When your head convinces you dying is easier it seems a long long road back but I know there’s a lot of unfortunate people in worse positions than me. Look at hearts for instance 👍

Good luck to you mate.

[BILLYHIBS]

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Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-man-on-a-bus/

[superfurryhibby]

For anyone on here who is struggling and needs to do something to keep safe, the Edinburgh Crisis Centre is a great resource. They can offer telephone support and overnight accommodation. It’s somewhere I’ve had professional contact with and I rate them very highly. It’s a lovely place, with well trained staff. Access is informal, you don’t need a referral, you just call them

http://www.edinburghcrisiscentre.org.uk/wordpress/

[DaveF]

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Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-man-on-a-bus/

Read a couple of your articles and as PB says 'enjoy' isn't right but they are very readable. Keep it going.

[hibbydog]

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Utterly aimless but, here it is anyway.

https://alittlebitofdickie.wordpress...-man-on-a-bus/

An enjoyable wee read that. 👍

[wpj]

Discharged and given a free ride home, Indeed, thank you NHS. 25 years I worked for them and they never fail to amaze me.
Lots of help out there, access it they genuinely care ❤

[kaimendhibs]

90+2 Glad you are ok but please still seek help. Take care

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