Depression and anxiety

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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The weather is at least allowing for the al fresco drinking experience! You won't be alone in that today. Enjoy the beer at the Water of Leith with your dad; one of my favourite walks (done the St.Columba's Hospice charity walk along the entire route a few times, great feeling when you get down to the famous port gasping for a jar!).

Apologies for seemingly combining this thread with the wildlife/ drinking threads!!

It was a bit of a family gathering, unfortunately my uncle took a stumble early on and split his head open! Waterfall between Bonnington and St Mark's Park couldn't have been a much more difficult spot for the ambulance to get to. We were fearing the worst but, I believe he's getting a few stitches and being kept in for observation.

[Sir David Gray]

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I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

I hope you get the help and support that you need, well done on taking that first step.

Take care of yourself.

[wpj]

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I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Give her the biggest cuddle, she knows you and trusts you and loves you. You have been incredibly honest and brave talking about this. Take care and don't beat yourself up.

[stu in nottingham]

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I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Sorry to hear about the family upset, Sylar, these sure are trying times for us all aren't they. Just wanted to add my two-penn'orth to what others have said, just recalling a few things from my own study in child psychology.

I think you actually did every right after the event. When we get angry we go into survival mode, your heart is racing, your breathing shallow and your muscles tense. Our thinking becomes unclear. People say take a few deep breaths and this, figuratively, is what you did afterwards.

Classic advise is to watch out for the re-trigger but you have no pattern for what happened. Even though your little girl is very young lots can be done to make amends quickly and repair the situation. It's good to find something that you can do together that brings you close, playing games, going for a walk, visiting the playground. It's especially good to find a new activity.

Glad that you found the Samaritans helpful. I sometimes think people only have the concept that they're there for people who are having dangerous suicidal thoughts. It's far from the case, they're there to talk and point you towards others who can help you, as they have done here.

The point about your friends appearing able to cope is worth considering. Would they actually report it if they weren't? Quite likely it's the case they struggle to cope at times too. It's a bit like other problems where people stay silent about them for fear of being judged.

I always think much of what anxiety tends to be about is the unknown. I have no idea of your personal circumstances at this time but it's fair to say that general anxiety has been severely spiked by current previously uncharted circumstances for a majority. Certainly if the psychometric tests that I carry out with clients are any indication, it has become a major problem in many, exacerbated by the world we're living in at the moment.

If you don't mind me saying, please allow yourself to cut yourself a bit of slack. We must all do this at the moment in my view. Guilt feelings or feeling ashamed too may be natural but they sure play havoc with your self-esteem and they're often overplayed and uneccesary. We don't want that for you, Take care.

[Mibbes Aye]

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I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Very honest post. While reading it, I was thinking of replying and then saw that wpj and Stu had said pretty much all I would say.

Young children are hard work. My two are older now, and to be honest, still hard work sometimes, but I never had to look after them in these circumstances. It has been clear in your recent posts that it has been challenging for you and that is understandable.

Talking to Samaritans was a positive step, they will give you the space and time to talk and they will listen and help you explore how you are feeling. And they are there 24 hours, won’t judge and won’t restrict you to one call. And yes, they will ask about suicidal thoughts, but as Stu says, that’s what they do and the main remit is emotional support through listening and asking some pertinent questions.

My tuppenceworth re having a child that age is try and be as consistent as possible in your behaviour, don’t beat yourself up if you lose it and don’t over-compensate in the aftermath if you do.

[wpj]

I have just been for a walk with a dear friend from Edinburgh who lives just up the road from me here in Cambridge, we walked well apart from each other but we met raving in 1990 and have met all over Europe partying, it feels so strange to not have a hug and a cuddle, I'm glad to have the company but I miss the contact

[stu in nottingham]

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I have just been for a walk with a dear friend from Edinburgh who lives just up the road from me here in Cambridge, we walked well apart from each other but we met raving in 1990 and have met all over Europe partying, it feels so strange to not have a hug and a cuddle, I'm glad to have the company but I miss the contact

Try to keep your mind on the fact that the hugs are only very temporarily delayed mate - not cancelled.

As an aside, (not aimed at you W) I think the effect of so many people repeating this mantra about a 'new normal' is a bit misleading and I'm yet to be convinced about this as a concept. I've a notion that people are using this idea to psychologically help them deal with the current situation and that's fine. The signs that I see are those indicating that people simply cannot wait to pick up their lives, in the main, just as they were previously. To be close with others, social and to lose the artifical inhibitions of lockdown

People will yield to demands, pressures and social customs just as they always have, as soon as they are able. We need and feel comfortable in our routines, long-held. To some extent we made them that way and they help us make sense of the world.

'Meet the new boss, same as the old boss'.

[Sylar]

Thank you all for your comments and the time taken in many of your posts - weekend ended up being a little rough, but we have so many excellent phone services available to us in these strange times, that I was able to benefit from speaking to people until I could get my GP this morning.

I've had an anxiety diagnosis for quite some time, but today I was also diagnosed with both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually feel a little relieved though - I have a diagnosis, I have a plan to tackle it and I'm aware how much support is widely available. I accepted the suggestion to go onto medication, and I feel ready to do what I need to in order to get back to myself (if that doesn't sound too grandiose).

Alcohol a strict no-no on my medication apparently, which is maybe just as well as I've been drinking WAY too much during lockdown.

[wpj]

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Thank you all for your comments and the time taken in many of your posts - weekend ended up being a little rough, but we have so many excellent phone services available to us in these strange times, that I was able to benefit from speaking to people until I could get my GP this morning.

I've had an anxiety diagnosis for quite some time, but today I was also diagnosed with both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually feel a little relieved though - I have a diagnosis, I have a plan to tackle it and I'm aware how much support is widely available. I accepted the suggestion to go onto medication, and I feel ready to do what I need to in order to get back to myself (if that doesn't sound too grandiose).

Alcohol a strict no-no on my medication apparently, which is maybe just as well as I've been drinking WAY too much during lockdown.

I'm off the booze, have been for a while but have slipped up and drunk again occasionally. I was in hospital last week after having a stroke even being sober for months, last drink was in March. Now taking even more care and avoiding alcohol.

[CropleyWasGod]

I didn't know this was still a thing here.

BBC News - ECT depression therapy should be suspended, study suggests
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52900074

Anyone on here had it?

[stu in nottingham]

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I didn't know this was still a thing here.

BBC News - ECT depression therapy should be suspended, study suggests
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52900074

Anyone on here had it?

Hard to believe it's stil going on isn't it. The last I read of it two or three years ago its use was on the increase too.

Have your brains fried by the NHS.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Hard to believe it's stil going on isn't it. The last I read of it two or three years ago its use was on the increase too.

Have your brains fried by the NHS.

I can understand the motivation. There were times when I have thought "a re-boot sounds ideal", but those were the darkest of days when anything would be considered. Now I put it in the same bag as "cures" for sexual diversity.

This book finally put me off :-https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=...-YBEkQ6AEIKDAA

[SteveHFC]

Hey chaps, a little update for me since my last post in here .

I've finished up my CBT which i had 8 sessions for. I would say to anyone in this thread if you get offered it do it. I found it incredibly useful. It really does teach you a different way to process things and help you understand your thoughts and feelings better. If anyone is unsure how CBT works. You can pm me and i can give you advice on the things I've learned about it.

I've been taking Sertaline once a day for the past month and it's helped me massively. I'm on it for another 2 months. It has helped me relax my mind and it has stopped overthinking a hundred things at a time in my head. My family, my close pals and my girlfriend have been a massive help to me over the past few months. If it wasn't for them being there for me. I would feel like i would have no one to talk too about how i was feeling and probably would have got even worse than i was.

[wpj]

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Hey chaps, a little update for me since my last post in here .

I've finished up my CBT which i had 8 sessions for. I would say to anyone in this thread if you get offered it do it. I found it incredibly useful. It really does teach you a different way to process things and help you understand your thoughts and feelings better. If anyone is unsure how CBT works. You can pm me and i can give you advice on the things I've learned about it.

I've been taking Sertaline once a day for the past month and it's helped me massively. I'm on it for another 2 months. It has helped me relax my mind and it has stopped overthinking a hundred things at a time in my head. My family, my close pals and my girlfriend have been a massive help to me over the past few months. If it wasn't for them being there for me. I would feel like i would have no one to talk too about how i was feeling and probably would have got even worse than i was.

That's great Steve, sounds like you have the support and the treatment to help you. Stay safe

[wpj]

I haven't posted much here for a while. I have had two heart attacks and last month I had stroke. I have lost my ability to write and read. So, anxiety and depression is kicking my ass. I have just lost my job sue to ill health, im trying to get back o track but like I say, depression and anxiety is brutal. Thank god for spell change cos I can't write anymore

[Dalianwanda]

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I haven't posted much here for a while. I have had two heart attacks and last month I had stroke. I have lost my ability to write and read. So, anxiety and depression is kicking my ass. I have just lost my job sue to ill health, im trying to get back o track but like I say, depression and anxiety is brutal. Thank god for spell change cos I can't write anymore

Watch yourself mate..Are they hopeful you’ll get your writing ability back? What do you need to do to help it?

[wpj]

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Watch yourself mate..Are they hopeful you’ll get your writing ability back? What do you need to do to help it?

Thanks, I have some physio, but I have to take public transport to the hospital which is stressful in itself. I just watched the 6-2 game so feeling alot better.

[Mibbes Aye]

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Thanks, I have some physio, but I have to take public transport to the hospital which is stressful in itself. I just watched the 6-2 game so feeling alot better.

The birdsong will be kicking in soon. Joy and noise in abundance.

Keep the wildlife thread updated with what you see. I only had one jackdaw mixing it with the rooks but now there are four, and the rooks are in double figures easily. No wonder the cats are staying clear. I will likely paste this onto the wildlife thread as it is better-placed there.

[wpj]

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The birdsong will be kicking in soon. Joy and noise in abundance.

Keep the wildlife thread updated with what you see. I only had one jackdaw mixing it with the rooks but now there are four, and the rooks are in double figures easily. No wonder the cats are staying clear. I will likely paste this onto the wildlife thread as it is better-placed there.

Thanks, i will go to the wildlife thread, i just fed my fox, very cautious but i think we will become pals

[Mibbes Aye]

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Thanks, i will go to the wildlife thread, i just fed my fox, very cautious but i think we will become pals

No doubt it will build up and he will come to rely on you and trust you.

[EI255]

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I haven't posted much here for a while. I have had two heart attacks and last month I had stroke. I have lost my ability to write and read. So, anxiety and depression is kicking my ass. I have just lost my job sue to ill health, im trying to get back o track but like I say, depression and anxiety is brutal. Thank god for spell change cos I can't write anymore

Feel for you mate. Hope things start to improve for you. Once Hibs start winning again I'm sure it'll help you on your way. Take care buddy.

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[StevesFamau5]

3 weeks ago I decided to quit the antidepressants and try to focus on getting to grips with my anxiety and short temper.

The first week was horrific, sweats, nightmares, brain zaps and all round sick feeling (I assume this must be something that people coming off drug abuse feel like) but now it's almost week 4 and I have noticed a marked difference.

I have more energy and drive to better myself than before. I have been doing more around the house and even managed to find the drive to exercise at home.

However the downsides are showing up badly. I am constantly anxious and nervous, the feeling of dread is increased and I have an overwhelming feeling of pure worry. I have piled on the weight because I have my appetite back as well so my self confidence is at a low.

In short does anyone have any experience with this or similar situations? I could really do with a bit of advice.

Cheers folks.

Stay safe

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[wpj]

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3 weeks ago I decided to quit the antidepressants and try to focus on getting to grips with my anxiety and short temper.

The first week was horrific, sweats, nightmares, brain zaps and all round sick feeling (I assume this must be something that people coming off drug abuse feel like) but now it's almost week 4 and I have noticed a marked difference.

I have more energy and drive to better myself than before. I have been doing more around the house and even managed to find the drive to exercise at home.

However the downsides are showing up badly. I am constantly anxious and nervous, the feeling of dread is increased and I have an overwhelming feeling of pure worry. I have piled on the weight because I have my appetite back as well so my self confidence is at a low.

In short does anyone have any experience with this or similar situations? I could really do with a bit of advice.

Cheers folks.

Stay safe

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I can only speak for myself, im on loads of drugs for various things. I take setraline for my mental health but everytime I go to hospital i get a whole bunch of new pills. Today I found out I have an overactive thyroid due to taking cardiology drugs, I would recommend taking whats prescribed for you. The health professionals know best. Also if you can access any therapy go for it. There's loads of online help as well, don't do it alone. This is a great thread and there are loads of people who you can contact via pm. Your not alone, stay safe too.

[Mibbes Aye]

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3 weeks ago I decided to quit the antidepressants and try to focus on getting to grips with my anxiety and short temper.

The first week was horrific, sweats, nightmares, brain zaps and all round sick feeling (I assume this must be something that people coming off drug abuse feel like) but now it's almost week 4 and I have noticed a marked difference.

I have more energy and drive to better myself than before. I have been doing more around the house and even managed to find the drive to exercise at home.

However the downsides are showing up badly. I am constantly anxious and nervous, the feeling of dread is increased and I have an overwhelming feeling of pure worry. I have piled on the weight because I have my appetite back as well so my self confidence is at a low.

In short does anyone have any experience with this or similar situations? I could really do with a bit of advice.

Cheers folks.

Stay safe

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk

I took anti-deps for a while. Came off and it was easy for a while, then the anxiety etc kicked in again.

Waking up at four in the morning, retching when thinking about work or serious personal stuff, all the kind of thing that won’t be unusual to those who have posted on here.

I think all you can do is talk. On here perhaps, get it out. Or talk to people you feel close to and feel they understand. If that’s not available to you then phone Samaritans, if it is a good listener then you will hopefully get benefit.

It is hard, because coming of meds is psychological, emotional, physical and chemical. It is challenging for sure.

[wpj]

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I took anti-deps for a while. Came off and it was easy for a while, then the anxiety etc kicked in again.

Waking up at four in the morning, retching when thinking about work or serious personal stuff, all the kind of thing that won’t be unusual to those who have posted on here.

I think all you can do is talk. On here perhaps, get it out. Or talk to people you feel close to and feel they understand. If that’s not available to you then phone Samaritans, if it is a good listener then you will hopefully get benefit.

It is hard, because coming of meds is psychological, emotional, physical and chemical. It is challenging for sure.

Can absolutely echo that. Like I say this thread and some of the posters have been really helpful, its essential not to suffer alone

[wpj]

Hi All
How are things for you all? Currently going through a rough patch, i think isolation has affected me more than I realised it would. I live in Cambridge and j never realised how much contact I had in town, market etc. No longer working due to ill health so pretty much isolated. I have to attend hospital on Tuesday, cr@pping myself to go on public transport but need to do it sooner or later. My anxiety levels are huge. After Tuesaday it will be a major achievement for me but fk me it will be a massive thing. Stay safe 🙂

[stu in nottingham]

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Hi All
How are things for you all? Currently going through a rough patch, i think isolation has affected me more than I realised it would. I live in Cambridge and j never realised how much contact I had in town, market etc. No longer working due to ill health so pretty much isolated. I have to attend hospital on Tuesday, cr@pping myself to go on public transport but need to do it sooner or later. My anxiety levels are huge. After Tuesaday it will be a major achievement for me but fk me it will be a massive thing. Stay safe 🙂

sory about your anxiety wpj. I wonder if the actual change will live up to that anxiety you're feeling? Perhaps a good chance not.

It's a quite different challenge many are facing in these times. People learned how to deal with isolation to at least some degree out of necessity and now we have to learn how to integrate back into society in various ways and levels. I've personally been very shut down and living a solitary life, albeit speaking to various clients and friends via telephone and Zoom on a daily basis.

Things are changing now though. I could well be still working from home for some time yet but friends are emerging and going to pubs etc. since last weekend in particular. Urged and cajoled to join them, I find myself less than ready to do so. I've taken steps, bought a face mask and acquired a virtual pass to park anywhere in the city free as an essential worker and so mostly avoiding public transport. And yet still, I don't feel like going out. It just feels complicated and it feels easier to avoid it all. At home with my little cat feels like the safest and least anxious place in the world for me.

Another aspect is that whilst not fearing re-inegrating again and know after a day or two it will all feel similar again I'd like to wait and re-emerge in the 'right' way. I don't want things to be the same, I'd like them to be better. This feels like a unique opportunity for change and I don't want to just replicate how life was before March. I want to be patient and get my head around exactly how to do that.

[wpj]

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sory about your anxiety wpj. I wonder if the actual change will live up to that anxiety you're feeling? Perhaps a good chance not.

It's a quite different challenge many are facing in these times. People learned how to deal with isolation to at least some degree out of necessity and now we have to learn how to integrate back into society in various ways and levels. I've personally been very shut down and living a solitary life, albeit speaking to various clients and friends via telephone and Zoom on a daily basis.

Things are changing now though. I could well be still working from home for some time yet but friends are emerging and going to pubs etc. since last weekend in particular. Urged and cajoled to join them, I find myself less than ready to do so. I've taken steps, bought a face mask and acquired a virtual pass to park anywhere in the city free as an essential worker and so mostly avoiding public transport. And yet still, I don't feel like going out. It just feels complicated and it feels easier to avoid it all. At home with my little cat feels like the safest and least anxious place in the world for me.

Another aspect is that whilst not fearing re-inegrating again and know after a day or two it will all feel similar again I'd like to wait and re-emerge in the 'right' way. I don't want things to be the same, I'd like them to be better. This feels like a unique opportunity for change and I don't want to just replicate how life was before March. I want to be patient and get my head around exactly how to do that.

As always, thanks Stu

[B.H.F.C]

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Hi All
How are things for you all? Currently going through a rough patch, i think isolation has affected me more than I realised it would. I live in Cambridge and j never realised how much contact I had in town, market etc. No longer working due to ill health so pretty much isolated. I have to attend hospital on Tuesday, cr@pping myself to go on public transport but need to do it sooner or later. My anxiety levels are huge. After Tuesaday it will be a major achievement for me but fk me it will be a massive thing. Stay safe 🙂

This might not mean much to you just now, but once you’ve done it I think you’ll feel differently. For all that there are some idiots out there, I’ve found 99% of people to be respectful of how things need to be in public. As an example, I was in a few shops over the weekend and I could count on one hand the number of people who weren’t wearing a mask.

I don’t want to downplay your anxiety, I know these things can’t be helped. But hopefully, once you get over this hurdle tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll restore some confidence that you can start doing things more normally. When things started to open up, I can’t say I felt anxious but it has felt slightly surreal doing certain things or visiting certain places when you wouldn’t have given it a second thought previously.

[wpj]

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This might not mean much to you just now, but once you’ve done it I think you’ll feel differently. For all that there are some idiots out there, I’ve found 99% of people to be respectful of how things need to be in public. As an example, I was in a few shops over the weekend and I could count on one hand the number of people who weren’t wearing a mask.

I don’t want to downplay your anxiety, I know these things can’t be helped. But hopefully, once you get over this hurdle tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll restore some confidence that you can start doing things more normally. When things started to open up, I can’t say I felt anxious but it has felt slightly surreal doing certain things or visiting certain places when you wouldn’t have given it a second thought previously.

Thanks, it is a journey I have made a thousand times as I used to work at the hospital. Im all "tooled up" mask and gloves. Been talking to the nurse as well who has been giving me assurances. Also meeting my ex boss for coffee (massive Everton fan) and planning to walk in one of the parks on the way home. Im sure it will be fine