Depression and anxiety

[CMurdoch]

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You can only do your best and accept that it's enough. We are each just one person amongst billions alive today and tens of billions who went before us. I find that looking outward and accepting that each of us is but a tiny and temporary someone helps me gain perspective and thus peace of mind. I read the work of the writers whom I feel expressed this best. It works for me, but might not for others. We must all find our way to peace of mind, which is so much easier said than done. There is no magic formula which works for everyone: it's two steps forward and one step back, which is a shame, given how short a time we are here, but that's the reality. We have to keep searching and searching to find our own path to a sense of tranquility.

This is a great post that i revisit at times of need.
Helps me with perspective to get me moving on the bad days. Thanks HA.

[CMurdoch]

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We've released a special episode tonight, coinciding (conveniently, but not deliberately) with World Mental Health Day, to promote The Changing Room initiative at Hibs.

Brian and I were joined by Neil Renton, who was a brilliant guest.

Less Hibs chat in this episode but we hope you'll tune in to a great discussion on men's mental health.

iTunes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/longbangers/id1474463560

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/58oluD4boJvQuO2ZDftZax?si=myR-96ytS7erQbG8FIpspg

Web
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episodes/Longbangers-Episode-15-The-Changing-Room-e6fl52

Thanks especially to Brian for putting it on the line so publicly. What sticks in my mind days later is the story were he planned to commit suicide but couldn't go through with it solely because he remembered he was getting a lift to work and couldn't let the guy down as he would be waiting for him. It perfectly encapsulates how narrow the margins are when folks heads are messed up. Saved by his thoughtfulness in a raging sea of distress also says a lot about Brian.
I listened to the podcast the day it was posted. It is powerful and poignant and helps remind us that we are not alone feeling and thinking the way we do. Well done to the podcast guys and the continued work of The Changing Room.

[matty_f]

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Thanks especially to Brian for putting it on the line so publicly. What sticks in my mind days later is the story were he planned to commit suicide but couldn't go through with it solely because he remembered he was getting a lift to work and couldn't let the guy down as he would be waiting for him. It perfectly encapsulates how narrow the margins are when folks heads are messed up. Saved by his thoughtfulness in a raging sea of distress also says a lot about Brian.
I listened to the podcast the day it was posted. It is powerful and poignant and helps remind us that we are not alone feeling and thinking the way we do. Well done to the podcast guys and the continued work of The Changing Room.

Thanks - it's really nice reading comments like this and seeing that it's been helpful. The CHanging Room is a brilliant initiative and it fully deserves the exposure.

[mjhibby]

Everybody has worries,fears and depression. I'm sure just every soldier who has fought in a war etc. I'm sure my dad had depression but would always have the old stuff upper lip attitude as I'm sure most parents would have done. There is a thin line between contentment and depression. My only thing is trying to stay positive which is hard at the best of times. Just accept people for what they are not what we won't them to be can take away a lot of lives frustrations. The dark days to me make the good days more joyous.

[Cataplana]

Sorry if this has been posted before, but it's something that lifts me up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

[matty_f]

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Thanks especially to Brian for putting it on the line so publicly. What sticks in my mind days later is the story were he planned to commit suicide but couldn't go through with it solely because he remembered he was getting a lift to work and couldn't let the guy down as he would be waiting for him. It perfectly encapsulates how narrow the margins are when folks heads are messed up. Saved by his thoughtfulness in a raging sea of distress also says a lot about Brian.
I listened to the podcast the day it was posted. It is powerful and poignant and helps remind us that we are not alone feeling and thinking the way we do. Well done to the podcast guys and the continued work of The Changing Room.

We recorded a follow up episode to this, joined by MurrayMinter75 to continue the discussion both on The Changing Room and mental health.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcas...s/id1474463560
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2oO...TSaVIIK0c3HGaQ

https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episod...-Room-2-e7r8ak

[lord bunberry]

Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

Good luck mate, might be worth giving Matty's mental health links a wee listen.

[lord bunberry]

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Good luck mate, might be worth giving Matty's mental health links a wee listen.

Cheers buddy, you’re definitely one of the good guys on this forum.

[GreenLake]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

It scares me to read this and yet I am not surprised because a lot of the best things in this world are fragile.

You are one of my favorite posters.

[stoneyburn hibs]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

I hope that you can get the help you need soon mate and get on a better path.
I wish you all the best.

[Jones28]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

Your contributions have been missed mate.

I really hope you can find a way of turning things around. I find the post game analysis when we lose really tiresome on here, especially at the moment when there is no space given to anything positive. That can infect other areas of my life. I’ve decided to distance myself from football at the moment as it puts a dampener on my weekends when we don’t do well.

All the best.

[matty_f]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

Stick in mate, hope to see you posting again soon - you're a good poster on the forums and your contribution is missed.

[wpj]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

Horrible to hear that, I can only echo the above comments. Take care and keep talking, to anyone including us all, you're not alone.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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Cheers buddy, you’re definitely one of the good guys on this forum.

Not sure what I've done to deserve that but, cheers! 😉

[stu in nottingham]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

I don't blame you for taking yourself away from negativity, LB, I think it's a really good idea. Who wants to live in that world any more than they need to. I wasn't struggling personally but I decided to take a similar tack and feel better for it. An example of that is Facebook where I these days have a hair trigger for blocking people that I don't want to listen to and certainly don't want impinging on my equilibrium.

Really sorry to hear things have been difficult for you of late. I wonder if you can cast your mind back to what helped you in the past and anything that has led to this point more recently?

Take care mate.

[stu in nottingham]

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I find the post game analysis when we lose really tiresome on here, especially at the moment when there is no space given to anything positive. That can infect other areas of my life. I’ve decided to distance myself from football at the moment as it puts a dampener on my weekends when we don’t do well.

Agree with this. I haven't taken myself away from football but tend to concentrate on the football itself and much less about the social media etc, that surrounds it. It's just very wearing.

[Smartie]

I find that my ability to cope with aggro on here, on other social media and anywhere else depends on my frame of mind.

Sometimes, when feeling well, it is fun getting stuck in. You argue your corner, other folk argue theirs, you see some stuff that on another day would bother you but you are in a position to be able to deal with it and brush it off. Sometimes you will chuck a cheeky, barbed or slightly vicious comment out there without really thinking about who might be on the receiving end of it.

There are other times when that seems impossible. Little things really niggle. In the grander scheme of things (for example) an online skirmish about the ability of Christian Doidge to play association football isn't really that big a deal, but it is amazing how other posters can get to you when you are anything from just not yourself to seriously mentally unwell. The same goes for online discussions of Brexit, folk parading their achievements on facebook, to somebody opening a packet of crisps noisily in the pub.

My partner helps me with it, as she can spot changes in my mood and will tell me when it is time to take a break - this can be from social media, spending time on certain sites, spending too long at work to spending any time with certain people.

It is important also though, to point out that sometimes social media can help. It's not all negative. This site has banter, friendliness, honest debate, people helping each other get to games, folk sharing fond memories and reminiscing about times we've enjoyed together, even if we don't have the first idea who each other are.

I'm not a professional so I reckon it would be dangerous for me to post any sort of advice LB. The only thing I would say is that yours is a username I recognise, you are a poster who has made a formidable positive contribution to this thread and this site. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in getting better, however that happens.

[hibsbollah]

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Hi all, I decided a while back to stop posting on this forum due to the constant arguments that seem to take place after every game. My love for the team hasn’t diminished in any way, it’s just my ability to endure the negativity that goes with it.
I decided to log back in and post on this thread as my depression has taken a real turn for the worst and I don’t know where to turn. This thread and the people contributing to it have been a real help to me over the years and I’d like to thank everyone for their help.
Anyway the reason for me posting again is that I’m at a low point that has gone on for around 6 months. Normally I go through periods where my mood fluctuations, but that’s not been the case lately, it’s all been down periods. I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling and most days I think the best way out is to just end it all.
I don’t want to make that sound like I’m about to do that, it’s just a feeling I have every day. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here or why I logged back into this forum, but thanks for reading this.

LB we've spoken before the last time you were struggling, you strike me as an insightful, intelligent person and you will know the best course of action to get yourself out of this temporary (yes, it IS just temporary) bad patch.

The main thing is get yourself to the GP and tell him/her everything. And remember the mantra about being kind to yourself at all times. If you need to spend all day in bed, that's absolutely fine. Life's not a competition. Be easy on yourself

I've had a dip in mood recently, I'm going to the docs first thing tomorrow morning to get reacquainted with a mindfulness course, because I know it helps with stress and anxiety and that racing, overactive mind thing that comes with just having too much going on. Talking about it helps me a lot.

Oh and aye, absolutely taking a break from social media is a great idea. There's certain forums I just stay away from now because I recognise that it's just not a productive or healthy way to spend my time. Especially if you're feeling low.

[Pretty Boy]

The whole social media world really is a tale of contradictions. It can undoubtedly be a very negative place that brings out the worst in people but it's also full of good people doing good things.

For all the negativity on here there are also threads like this one or other threads with people helping each other out with everything from finding a plumber to becoming a vegetarian. I find the same across the spectrum. For all the ugliness that the likes of Brexit have caused I also see dozens of people coming together to get a lost cat home or people who run and win 100 mile races being genuinely delighted for and encouraging to people who have walked their first 5K.

I go through phases in which I am consumed by the ugliness of it as well and it doesn't do any harm to step back from it from time to time. It's always worth remembering in a lot of instances it's not real life and things aren't always what they seem.

As said above LB please speak to your GP and make them aware of your current thoughts. And remember that whilst it's perfectly understandable if you want to take a break from here, there are many on this thread who appreciate you as a poster and want to 'listen' to you and help however they can.

[lord bunberry]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

[Hiber-nation]

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Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

Good to hear. Hope your appointment helps and the gym session makes a difference.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Disclosure - The Lost Boys is worth a watch, not easy viewing though. Will be on iPlayer.

[Hibernia&Alba]

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Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

We all wish you the very best, mate

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I have an appointment with the doctor booked and I’m going to the gym tomorrow as that’s helped my mood in the past. Just reading this thread is a huge help, this site in general is really good and my criticism of it last night was probably a bit unfair. I just need to take a break from things and get myself sorted out. Thanks again it’s very much appreciated.

How have the last couple of days been mate?

[lord bunberry]

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How have the last couple of days been mate?

Up and down mate. It’s amazing how quickly things can turn. I struggle to cope with the lows and don’t understand the highs. I’ve felt great today, I went out to work, had a good bit of banter with my punters and made a few quid. I’ve just got home and it’s nice to sit downstairs in peace and quiet. I might have a beer.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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Up and down mate. It’s amazing how quickly things can turn. I struggle to cope with the lows and don’t understand the highs. I’ve felt great today, I went out to work, had a good bit of banter with my punters and made a few quid. I’ve just got home and it’s nice to sit downstairs in peace and quiet. I might have a beer.

Keep your chin up, you know where we are. 😉

[matty_f]

We put out a third episode in our Changing Room series last night, I thought it was really powerful, and a really reassuring message from our guest, John.

You can catch it here:
iTunes
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcas...s/id1474463560
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MC...QgCatuxtJHfpSQ

Web/Anchor
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episod...-Room-3-e86ooe

If anyone wants to come on and talk about things, drop me a PM or send an email to longbangers@gmail.com

[Sylar]

Has anyone on here ever sought out therapy/management techniques for anger?

I've suffered from depression, anxiety for about 10 years now (never resorted to medication) and about 2 years ago was diagnosed with PTSD after a pretty horrific child-birth experience with my partner (thankfully all was OK, but the legacy of that event lingers). I've been managing these pretty well and would describe myself as highly functioning. My depressive episodes are moderate, and I don't experience the crushing lows and feelings of hopelessness that people describe.

Lately, I've been finding it increasingly challenging to curb my anger/temper. I'm not violent with it, but this morning, found myself almost getting out my car to beat the **** out of a driver who cut me up with an erratic maneouver and then stopped in front of me just looking at me in his rear view mirror. It was a disproportionate response from me, and one quite out of character. Unlike the low episodes and anxious episodes, which I manage OK, I'm worried that my anger levels are perhaps getting to a point where I could be doing with seeing someone.

My GP is a bit of a tire-fire just now, so sadly they're not really an option.

[CloudSquall]

Not sure if it's been mentioned yet but I'd recommended giving Limmy's autobiograhy a read.

He's suffered from a lot of mental health issues and covers it in his book with a bit of humour thrown in, its a good read.

The audio version is on youtube.