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  1. #1231
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SideBurns View Post
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    The weather is at least allowing for the al fresco drinking experience! You won't be alone in that today. Enjoy the beer at the Water of Leith with your dad; one of my favourite walks (done the St.Columba's Hospice charity walk along the entire route a few times, great feeling when you get down to the famous port gasping for a jar!).

    Apologies for seemingly combining this thread with the wildlife/ drinking threads!!
    It was a bit of a family gathering, unfortunately my uncle took a stumble early on and split his head open! Waterfall between Bonnington and St Mark's Park couldn't have been a much more difficult spot for the ambulance to get to. We were fearing the worst but, I believe he's getting a few stitches and being kept in for observation.


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  3. #1232
    I only want to say the Scottish Cup is in the bag... Sir David Gray's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

    I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

    I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.
    I hope you get the help and support that you need, well done on taking that first step.

    Take care of yourself.
    HIBERNIAN F.C. - SCOTTISH CUP WINNERS 2016

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  4. #1233
    @hibs.net private member wpj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

    I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

    I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.
    Give her the biggest cuddle, she knows you and trusts you and loves you. You have been incredibly honest and brave talking about this. Take care and don't beat yourself up.

  5. #1234
    Coaching Staff stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

    I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

    I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.
    Sorry to hear about the family upset, Sylar, these sure are trying times for us all aren't they. Just wanted to add my two-penn'orth to what others have said, just recalling a few things from my own study in child psychology.

    I think you actually did every right after the event. When we get angry we go into survival mode, your heart is racing, your breathing shallow and your muscles tense. Our thinking becomes unclear. People say take a few deep breaths and this, figuratively, is what you did afterwards.

    Classic advise is to watch out for the re-trigger but you have no pattern for what happened. Even though your little girl is very young lots can be done to make amends quickly and repair the situation. It's good to find something that you can do together that brings you close, playing games, going for a walk, visiting the playground. It's especially good to find a new activity.

    Glad that you found the Samaritans helpful. I sometimes think people only have the concept that they're there for people who are having dangerous suicidal thoughts. It's far from the case, they're there to talk and point you towards others who can help you, as they have done here.

    The point about your friends appearing able to cope is worth considering. Would they actually report it if they weren't? Quite likely it's the case they struggle to cope at times too. It's a bit like other problems where people stay silent about them for fear of being judged.

    I always think much of what anxiety tends to be about is the unknown. I have no idea of your personal circumstances at this time but it's fair to say that general anxiety has been severely spiked by current previously uncharted circumstances for a majority. Certainly if the psychometric tests that I carry out with clients are any indication, it has become a major problem in many, exacerbated by the world we're living in at the moment.

    If you don't mind me saying, please allow yourself to cut yourself a bit of slack. We must all do this at the moment in my view. Guilt feelings or feeling ashamed too may be natural but they sure play havoc with your self-esteem and they're often overplayed and uneccesary. We don't want that for you, Take care.

  6. #1235
    @hibs.net private member Mibbes Aye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

    I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

    I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

    Very honest post. While reading it, I was thinking of replying and then saw that wpj and Stu had said pretty much all I would say.

    Young children are hard work. My two are older now, and to be honest, still hard work sometimes, but I never had to look after them in these circumstances. It has been clear in your recent posts that it has been challenging for you and that is understandable.

    Talking to Samaritans was a positive step, they will give you the space and time to talk and they will listen and help you explore how you are feeling. And they are there 24 hours, wonít judge and wonít restrict you to one call. And yes, they will ask about suicidal thoughts, but as Stu says, thatís what they do and the main remit is emotional support through listening and asking some pertinent questions.

    My tuppenceworth re having a child that age is try and be as consistent as possible in your behaviour, donít beat yourself up if you lose it and donít over-compensate in the aftermath if you do.
    There's only one thing better than a Hibs calendar and that's two Hibs calendars

  7. #1236
    @hibs.net private member wpj's Avatar
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    I have just been for a walk with a dear friend from Edinburgh who lives just up the road from me here in Cambridge, we walked well apart from each other but we met raving in 1990 and have met all over Europe partying, it feels so strange to not have a hug and a cuddle, I'm glad to have the company but I miss the contact

  8. #1237
    Coaching Staff stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wpj View Post
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    I have just been for a walk with a dear friend from Edinburgh who lives just up the road from me here in Cambridge, we walked well apart from each other but we met raving in 1990 and have met all over Europe partying, it feels so strange to not have a hug and a cuddle, I'm glad to have the company but I miss the contact
    Try to keep your mind on the fact that the hugs are only very temporarily delayed mate - not cancelled.

    As an aside, (not aimed at you W) I think the effect of so many people repeating this mantra about a 'new normal' is a bit misleading and I'm yet to be convinced about this as a concept. I've a notion that people are using this idea to psychologically help them deal with the current situation and that's fine. The signs that I see are those indicating that people simply cannot wait to pick up their lives, in the main, just as they were previously. To be close with others, social and to lose the artifical inhibitions of lockdown

    People will yield to demands, pressures and social customs just as they always have, as soon as they are able. We need and feel comfortable in our routines, long-held. To some extent we made them that way and they help us make sense of the world.

    'Meet the new boss, same as the old boss'.

  9. #1238
    Coaching Staff Sylar's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your comments and the time taken in many of your posts - weekend ended up being a little rough, but we have so many excellent phone services available to us in these strange times, that I was able to benefit from speaking to people until I could get my GP this morning.

    I've had an anxiety diagnosis for quite some time, but today I was also diagnosed with both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually feel a little relieved though - I have a diagnosis, I have a plan to tackle it and I'm aware how much support is widely available. I accepted the suggestion to go onto medication, and I feel ready to do what I need to in order to get back to myself (if that doesn't sound too grandiose).

    Alcohol a strict no-no on my medication apparently, which is maybe just as well as I've been drinking WAY too much during lockdown.

  10. #1239
    @hibs.net private member wpj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylar View Post
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    Thank you all for your comments and the time taken in many of your posts - weekend ended up being a little rough, but we have so many excellent phone services available to us in these strange times, that I was able to benefit from speaking to people until I could get my GP this morning.

    I've had an anxiety diagnosis for quite some time, but today I was also diagnosed with both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually feel a little relieved though - I have a diagnosis, I have a plan to tackle it and I'm aware how much support is widely available. I accepted the suggestion to go onto medication, and I feel ready to do what I need to in order to get back to myself (if that doesn't sound too grandiose).

    Alcohol a strict no-no on my medication apparently, which is maybe just as well as I've been drinking WAY too much during lockdown.
    I'm off the booze, have been for a while but have slipped up and drunk again occasionally. I was in hospital last week after having a stroke even being sober for months, last drink was in March. Now taking even more care and avoiding alcohol.

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