Depression and anxiety

[Sir David Gray]

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Sorry, just noticed your reply SDG. The school were actually very supportive of her and cant complain about how they handled the situation. She is certainly much happier now she has left school, she is a teenager so still prone to a few moody turns, but much better, thanks.

As you say, you still have affects from your school days, so she probably will as well, it probably will never really leave her, but hopefully these will become less so as she becomes older.

That's really good to hear.

[Pretty Boy]

The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

[Sir David Gray]

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The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

[Sylar]

I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.

My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.

I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.

"This, too, shall pass...".

[Pretty Boy]

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I've felt like I've been circling the drain a bit in the past couple of weeks, to the extent that several posters on here have actually reached out to check in that I'm coping/not having drastic thoughts. I've flippantly remarked about suicide in the past few weeks, which isn't something I'd normally do (as it's not a subject to be flippant about) - it makes me question just where my mind currently is.

My situation is almost the opposite of WPJ - I'm living in a confined space with my two year old and wife and I'm struggling with the total loss of all support networks. It's overwhelming and I find myself reacting badly when she has a day (like today) where she's pushing every button possible and not reacting when she's getting a telling off from either mum or me. My wife also suffers from depression, and it just feels like our house is a constant powder keg, ready to go off.

I'm aggressive, and can't seem to be able to relax. I'm not a violent guy, but someone came right into the same box as me in the supermarket on Saturday and I pushed them. Physically raised both hands and pushed them away, and subconsciously balled my right hand into a fist as I waited on him getting back up and charging at me. Completely and utterly out of character for me, but I'd experienced a few small niggles on Friday and then on Saturday morning that gradually just keep poking me. Keep having spells where I'm just randomly overwhelmed and find myself in tears too. Feeling like a failure of a dad, a husband and pretty much surrendered any notion of progress at work.

"This, too, shall pass...".

I know there's a temptation at this time to feel you shouldn't be bothering a doctor. However there are still services available and maybe it's worth considering calling your GP. This will be something they will be used to hearing at the moment, you aren't alone. There will be guidelines in place so they will be able to advise and point you in the right direction.

In the shorter term you may find something useful here:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/looking-after-your-mental-health-during-coronavirus-outbreak

https://www.mind.org.uk/coronavirus-we-are-here-for-you/

In practical terms is there a way you and your wife could go for separate walks? Maybe one takes your daughter and one without and take the solo walk day about? A bit respite from all being cooped up together might be helpful.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.

[stu in nottingham]

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The last couple of days has been the first time I have felt like I am not coping too well. I'm getting increasingly agitated and I'm aware I'm being needlessly argumentative (some people may have noticed). That's always a red flag that I'm srruggling.

The first couple of weeks were ok because I didn't have much planned anyway. Today I was supposed to run the Kilomathon and couldn't. It's the start of Holy week at church which I enjoy the spectacle of and usually go to Mass every day, there will be no Easter meal with my parents next week, no semi final......

Obviously everyone is in the same boat but I've started sitting up until all hours staring at the TV, my days have no structure and I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive. I think the lack of any fixed end point is bothering me. If I knew it was a year I could reconcile that in my head but the uncertaitity is bothering me as I have no control over things at all.

i think of this time of lockdown as a process that will change and evolve in the type of challenges it presents as we go along. Like you, i've found myself staying up very late quite a bit (not necessarily unusual for me but it's always a flag that I react to when it happens too often). my own thoughts are that we need to be smart about creating helpful new routines - even though they may seems a bit pointless if at home. That's the basic stuff, get up a reasonable time, have a shave, make oneself presentable as if ready to face the world as usual. Keep mealtimes etc. That basic framework that we have in our lives that we hang off each day. the structure you say is missing, modify and make a new one.

I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.

Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.

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That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

I sometime come across this thought process of 'how's it going to be in six months?'In more usual times I'm always tempted to reply with the question, 'and in six months, will you be asking the same question of six months hence?' These are exceptional times clearly though. Many have a tendancy to look for certainty and a guarantee of the future. How can these things be predicted in these unprecedented times? Quite simply, they cannot. i would one hundred per cent agree with your idea of living one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be and the fact that you have evolved a new routine shows how well you are adapting. Good stuff.

[SideBurns]

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i think of this time of lockdown as a process that will change and evolve in the type of challenges it presents as we go along. Like you, i've found myself staying up very late quite a bit (not necessarily unusual for me but it's always a flag that I react to when it happens too often). my own thoughts are that we need to be smart about creating helpful new routines - even though they may seems a bit pointless if at home. That's the basic stuff, get up a reasonable time, have a shave, make oneself presentable as if ready to face the world as usual. Keep mealtimes etc. That basic framework that we have in our lives that we hang off each day. the structure you say is missing, modify and make a new one.

I think it is SO important to challenge those thoughts of trying to predict an ending to this change in our lives. We cannot do this and no matter what apparent clues are out there for an outcome they are at the mercy of our subjective thinking about the situation in any case. They are meaningless and serve no purpose apart from to create anxiety for the future. They need to be arrested and replaced with living in the NOW. I am not a mindfulness practitioner but i think many of the tenets of that pliosophy are applicable here. Here, for all the wrong reasons, we have time and opportunity to think differently to how we did before, every single day we can do this.

Good luck PB, always enjoy your thoughtful posts on here.



I sometime come across this thought process of 'how's it going to be in six months?'In more usual times I'm always tempted to reply with the question, 'and in six months, will you be asking the same question of six months hence?' These are exceptional times clearly though. Many have a tendancy to look for certainty and a guarantee of the future. How can these things be predicted in these unprecedented times? Quite simply, they cannot. i would one hundred per cent agree with your idea of living one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be and the fact that you have evolved a new routine shows how well you are adapting. Good stuff.

An occasional theme across different mental health problems addressed by Oliver Burkeman in his Saturday column in The Guardian is the pointlessness of continually worrying about the future, and the anxiety that inevitably causes meaning you can't enjoy the life you are actually living. It would be a strange person who hasn't felt anxious to some degree about the stuff that's going on at the moment, or surrendered to a compulsion to glance into an unknown future but I suppose it is just as pointless doing so now as at any other time.

My coping strategy this weekend has been to try to focus on the absurdity of it all. There is little most of us outside of the scientific & political world can do other than to follow the advice and realise that with every day that passes we're a day closer to the other side of this, whenever that may be. This probably sounds daft, but the lyrics to the Monty Python song, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' feel quite relevant right now!

[SideBurns]

A daft wee example of what I mean by the absurdity of the situation: I was walking home from the shops yesterday, and there was a guy walking towards me (looked a bit radge). We got to within about 30 feet of each other, and I decided to swerve inwards so we would keep the requisite distance when passing; at exactly the same time, he swerved in the same direction, and then we did the same back the other way. Eventually we sorted it out, and at the point of passing we both burst out laughing as if to say,"This is ridiculous!". I'm hating this bloody lockdown, but keeping my sense of humour is going to be one way of helping me through it.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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We've been having a nightmare since my mum died last Saturday night, my dad phoned one of my mum's best pals to give her the news, the guy she stayed with informed my dad that she had passed away that morning. My mum's cousin in Inverness phoned on Sunday morning to tell us her brothers son had died the previous day, one of my dad's oldest/best mates died on Thursday night. I'm not sure how much more my dad can take, I would imagine more bad news is inevitable. It's extremely hard going at the moment 😢 The thought of not being able to console my brother at my mum's funeral is destroying me at the moment.

The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

[Hibby Bairn]

I think the “PR game” the govt are currently playing is extremely unhelpful. Slow release of comments about “not being ready yet to lift lockdown”.... “awaiting the scientific evidence” etc.

People would much prefer certainty. People probably mostly accept it needs to extend. So the govt should just come out and say “till end April” or whatever and it’ll be reviewed again then. Then people can plan and get on with their lives. Acceptance and certainty is key.

[Jones28]

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The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

Jesus Hutchy, I’m so sorry for you and your dad. That is absolutely brutal.

[Just_Jimmy]

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The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop?

Mate that's awful. Thoughts to you and yours.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

[I'm_cabbaged]

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The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

I’ve got no words tbh HH. All you and family can do is look after each other mate, take care and god bless.

[Dalianwanda]

Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.

It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)

[CropleyWasGod]

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Just a heads up that i’m doing 15min guided meditations at 6pm each night mon-fri. A chance to ‘pause’ and let things settle. No charge just let me know if you want to join in & i’ll send u a link and password.

It’s for anyone, no matter previous experience :-)

Remind me, you're based in Ireland permanently, yeah?

If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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I’ve got no words tbh HH. All you and family can do is look after each other mate, take care and god bless.

Thanks a lot, he has had another 2 since my last post. A guy he used to go fishing withs father in law and one of the old boys he drinks with on a Wednesday night.

[Dalianwanda]

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Remind me, you're based in Ireland permanently, yeah?

If not, do you know about the NHS Project 5, where therapists can volunteer to support NHS staff?

Yeah over here perm....Saying that I had lost all my work 4 weeks ago & now busiest Ive been for a long time..Doing some work for HSE here too.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Yeah over here perm....Saying that I had lost all my work 4 weeks ago & now busiest Ive been for a long time..Doing some work for HSE here too.

Good stuff

[HH81]

Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.

A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.

Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.

[wpj]

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Stay safe everyone. See cornavurus thread but I have just got out of hospital.

A guy across from me suffered unbelievable depression when he got the corna virus illness and did something really stupid which almost cost him his life.

Guess I am posting this to say, if you feel low help is out there and having been through ab awful time recently I am free if anyone needs a chat.

👍stay safe

[heidtheba]

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Many thanks! Aye Pilates is brilliant. I’ve been doing it for a few years now so know most of the moves etc so can do it at home. I really think it helped extend football career as well 👍

That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.

Thanks for sharing this everyone.

[heidtheba]

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The guy mentioned in the 2nd line of the above post has since died too, where will it stop? 😢

So sorry to read that. Can't imagine how you're feeling but thoughts go out to you.

[heidtheba]

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That's exactly what was bothering me at the outset, it was the lack of any real certainty on how I was going to be living my life in this way. If I knew it was 6 months then I said I would be able to handle that better as I could mentally prepare for it.

I'm not too sure why and I wish I could share the reason but I seem to have found a way to cope in the last week or so. I've got into a routine and I think I'm just trying to take the proverbial one day at a time which seems to be helping.

Hope things improve for you, it's a really tough time.

I posted this in a different group ages ago, I'm not sure how helpful it can be to you both, but if it is, great.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
Hi all,
Hope we're all feeling as ok as we can about things right now. I know the thoughts about guilt and school (I'm a teacher), about giving up certain freedoms to self-isolate or go into quarantine are taking up a lot of our energy. I thought I'd share a few things I've learned in the past that helped me - feel free to totally ignore, cherry pick or use as you best see fit.
Ok, I basically spent 6 months in a form of quarantine back in 2009. I was out about once a week, had a few times where I could go on day trips and managed a night or two away when I was feeling better...but it was 6 months of pain due to chronic migraines. And there were times where I thought this would be my life. So I've got some experience of this in some ways. 1 - You will adjust to it. Like everything in life, it's often less scary than our minds first make it out to be. 2 - You will adjust and find there are some positives to it - time with family, the ability to do things that you wouldn't have allocated time towards. 3 - You realise that online communities can actually keep you sane (and you also realise some need ditched within minutes!) 4 - There's a lot of good advice out there on how to cope mentally. Once you start to pick this up, it kinda stays there. I used a lot of Stoic philosophy and this has changed my life. 5 - Use mental health tools to help. I get hugely increased anxiety and aspects of clinical depression around my migraines. I find that 'morning pages' REALLY help me. Get three sheets of A3 pages and handwrite whatever is in your mind. Rant. Let it all out. It's not a diary so you don't need to worry about formating, handwriting, spelling, grammar or anything. Just write. And do the full three pages. I usually end ranting at around the end of page 2 and then feel a lot more mellow by the end of page 3 as I seem to be on a constructive and positive 'upswing' by then. 6 - Finally, focus as much as you can on control. This is pure Stoic philosophy btw. Most things in our life are outwith our control. Learn to focus on what we can do. We can't control CV but we can look to help, check up on others and keep it constructive and positive. I'm not religious but this 'Serenity Prayer' is used by the Alcoholics Anonymous and is more Stoic than Christian; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
You'll be surprise as to how well you can cope with being at home. You'll pleasantly surprise yourselves I'm sure. There's SO much positivity and support in this group which we can all use.


Some extra things I've done to help me;

Keep a structure in your day
Work out all the things you can do that 'you never have time for' - inc that boring stuff like updating a CV, sorting out house insurance documentation etc
Morning pages really helped me
do weights, exercise
watch your diet
schedule treats

[Jones28]

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That's great to hear about Pilates. I have a back issue which probably causes my near-chronic migraines. I think if I was a horse, it wouldn't be looking good... Back is uncomfortable almost all of the time, rather than painful. I'm grateful for big mercies really as it all could be a lot worse. Makes life harder than it should be. I see a chiro but will see if there's any really good Pilates stuff on YouTube. I don't 'have' to do anything right now so this could be a good time to try it out.

Thanks for sharing this everyone.

Hi mate, yoga with Adrian is a YouTube channel and she does specials on back pain etc, she’s brilliant and pretty easy to watch as well.

[stu in nottingham]

Mental Health And Wellbeing in Covid-19 - resources.

https://wellbeingincovid19.com/?fbcl...90olamuDALaFd8

[wpj]

Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.

Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.

[stu in nottingham]

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Thanks Stu, today has been really tuff. I am becoming nocturnal, keep the windows open but stay on the couch. Had a massive vinyl session last night, loved it but now? tonight i am not great. Will cook in an hour or so but hear the wind is picking up outside.

Ps: I talked to my daughter. Broke my heart.

I agree with those who talk of keeping a light routine mate. Might be a good idea to work yourself night by night back towards a normal-sh bedtime? I know these things seem unimportant in the scheme of things currently, many are not rushing off to work in the morning and so on, but I do believe something of a routine is a good idea and keeps us 'anchored' in our lives. Maybe finding a little meaning in the current situation is crucial for a significant amount ot people. We always try to 'make sense' out of life - it's what we do. Maybe you could emerge from any thoughts of a behavioural shut down by seeking out a couple of local seniors who could do with a wee helping hand of support at the moment? You may find it surprising how mutually beneficial that would be.

[wpj]

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I agree with those who talk of keeping a light routine mate. Might be a good idea to work yourself night by night back towards a normal-sh bedtime? I know these things seem unimportant in the scheme of things currently, many are not rushing off to work in the morning and so on, but I do believe something of a routine is a good idea and keeps us 'anchored' in our lives. Maybe finding a little meaning in the current situation is crucial for a significant amount ot people. We always try to 'make sense' out of life - it's what we do. Maybe you could emerge from any thoughts of a behavioural shut down by seeking out a couple of local seniors who could do with a wee helping hand of support at the moment? You may find it surprising how mutually beneficial that would be.

My sleep pattern is shocking at the moment. This lockdown is really mucking with me now. Five weeks without seeing my wee girl is horrible. I know there are people worse off then me but this is kicking my arse.
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.

[stu in nottingham]

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My sleep pattern is shocking at the moment. This lockdown is really mucking with me now. Five weeks without seeing my wee girl is horrible. I know there are people worse off then me but this is kicking my arse.
At least its sunny here in Cambridge, time to sit in the garden.

Try not to worry about those 'people worse off than me' social comparisons wpj, they don't help and for some, it can actually make them feel even worse because of the guilt it creates. Remember that, like depression, this isolation and the feelings it creates will come and will go. There will be bad days and better days, hang in there.