Environmental Health Issues

[Mikey]

I know, I know. "What's new" you're thinking

However, it seems that there's been a distinct lack of toilet supplies over the road recently so the likes of bog roll, paper towels and soap have been lacking. Presumably those pesky suppliers wanted paid!

A wee birdie tells me that Environmental Health are aware of it and are investigating.

[Kaiser_Sauzee]

I'm certainly not one for going for a dump at any football ground, but if I found myself in that situation, and with with no toilet paper to wipe my shame away, I would definitely feel a bit put out by it.

[Sergey]

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I know, I know. "What's new" you're thinking

However, it seems that there's been a distinct lack of toilet supplies over the road recently so the likes of bog roll, paper towels and soap have been lacking. Presumably those pesky suppliers wanted paid!

A wee birdie tells me that Environmental Health are aware of it and are investigating.

Didn't the Environmental Health folks close them down a few years ago?

No hot water, IIRC.

[BroxburnHibee]

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Didn't the Environmental Health folks close them down a few years ago?

No hot water, IIRC.

Wasn't there some issue over dodgy sausage rolls at a xmas function - it rings a bell.

[green glory]

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I know, I know. "What's new" you're thinking

However, it seems that there's been a distinct lack of toilet supplies over the road recently so the likes of bog roll, paper towels and soap have been lacking. Presumably those pesky suppliers wanted paid!

A wee birdie tells me that Environmental Health are aware of it and are investigating.

They'll have to get used to their a*ses being the same colour as their strips now.

[iwasthere1972]

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I know, I know. "What's new" you're thinking

However, it seems that there's been a distinct lack of toilet supplies over the road recently so the likes of bog roll, paper towels and soap have been lacking. Presumably those pesky suppliers wanted paid!

A wee birdie tells me that Environmental Health are aware of it and are investigating.

Move along folks they've got nothing to go on. If I was one of those EH officers I wouldn't want to be looking into anything at Tynie.

[Spike Mandela]

They will need to check lighting issues in the stairwells as well......check the wattage of every bulb

[persevere1875]

Any day now Romanov will ask the fans to get behind the club by donating any toilet rolls / bars of soap etc gained in a BOGOF deal to the club and help reduce everyday costs. You really couldnt make up some of the stories coming out of the PBS at the moment

[GordonHFC]

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Any day now Romanov will ask the fans to get behind the club by donating any toilet rolls / bars of soap etc gained in a BOGOF deal to the club and help reduce everyday costs. You really couldnt make up some of the stories coming out of the PBS at the moment

And how are they going to know where to buy soap

[gringojoe]

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And how are they going to know where to buy soap

Celtc shop, Pope on a rope 2 fir a pound.

[Mikeystewart]

Not the first time I've heard this, Knowing a few event staff myself there is usually a complaint every game or two about there being no toilet paper in the bogs and I quote one disgruntled fan "Get it F****** sorted pal!"

[iwasthere1972]

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Celtc shop, Pope on a rope 2 fir a pound.

That's no longer in stock. It's been replaced with Lifebhoy. One bar lasts a lifetime.

[WeAreHibs]

Dirty bum folks ken whits going on!!

[Dr Jimmy]

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I'm certainly not one for going for a dump at any football ground, but if I found myself in that situation, and with with no toilet paper to wipe my shame away, I would definitely feel a bit put out by it.

They could put the scarves they bought for the 400,000 fans in instead.

[Sergey]

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Wasn't there some issue over dodgy sausage rolls at a xmas function - it rings a bell.

That was it. Food poisoning from the lorne sausage butties, but wasn't it at a wedding reception?

[Mark79]

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That was it. Food poisoning from the lorne sausage butties, but wasn't it at a wedding reception?

Typical yam wedding. The meat was cut from the hind of the brides mother in law.

[HibeeMG]

Couldn't they just recycle their (now that's what I call a) planning application? They'll surely get a couple of thousand toilet rolls out of it!

[HibbyAndy]

At Vermincastle New Years day i was told to take a pish in a totty wee portocabin...It was that wee i had to walk backwards coming out as there was nae room tae manouvre and turn roond.


They really have a shight pathetic pink wee turdy smelly stadium

[Mikey]

My wee birdie tells me that the office staff take their own supplies in.

[Springbank]

Oh some say the Kleenex and Andrex are Grand
But the boys in Maroon wipe their bums wi their hands

H-E-A-R-T-S if you cannae smell it then here's what it says

SHEIGHT
SHEIGHT
Glorious
SHEIGHT

It's down at Tynecastle they wipe
Their er$e wi their hands
and pay players one grand
Coz old Vladimir's gone doon the pan

[Rasta_Hibs]

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Oh some say the Kleenex and Andrex are Grand
But the boys in Maroon wipe their bums wi their hands

H-E-A-R-T-S if you cannae smell it then here's what it says

SHEIGHT
SHEIGHT
Glorious
SHEIGHT

It's down at Tynecastle they wipe
Their er$e wi their hands
and pay players one grand
Coz old Vladimir's gone doon the pan

Hahaha Brilliant effort!!

[1two]

Totally unrelated but just reminded me I was working in a college during the summer holidays.
Now i hate seeing grafitti of any kind but this made me laugh out loud.
I noticed a comment amongst a lot of other graffiti on the back of a toilet door which read
'Please flush twice, it's a long way to tynecastle'!

I thought it was funny :

[Mikey]

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Oh some say the Kleenex and Andrex are Grand
But the boys in Maroon wipe their bums wi their hands

[matty_f]

This isn't the first time Environmental Health have been involved this year. You might remember noises from the last time that the Yams' players weren't paid, where the papers reported money had to go to places other than the players to ensure their games went ahead, Environmental Health had threatened action unless a number of hygene issues were addressed to their satisfaction. Fortunately for the Yams they took action and actually surpassed the recommendations for EH at that point.

[Kevvy1875]

Solution??? :asshole:

[Viva_Palmeiras]

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Oh some say the Kleenex and Andrex are Grand
But the boys in Maroon wipe their bums wi their hands

Genius

[Jonnyboy]

Well at least it's solved the mystery of why they twirl their scarf's.

[Jack]

On a related matter I have been made to understand that the fire alarm system in the asbestos death trap is somewhat non functional in wet weather. There's just so many leaks in the place the alarms are useless and actually need emptied on a regular basis. Thank goodness it doesn't rain here.

[Danderhall Hibs]

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Typical yam wedding. The meat was cut from the hind of the brides mother in law.

The groom's mum or do you mean her first husbands mums arse?

[Pedantic_Hibee]

They are the absolute pits.

What a disgustingly embarrassing club they are. If I was a Hearts fan right now, and thank f*** I'm not, I would be wholly embarrassed and ashamed at the utter shambles I'm associated with.

Still, reap what you sow. The spineless welts were given plenty notice from our good and observant selves but they were too busy planning global domination (for that, read too scared and sheepish to even squeak their disapproval) that they've left it too late. And still, yes, incredibly, still you'll have some of them blame the council/SFA etc rather than look far, far closer to home.

Wee Vladdy's got bored of playing Football Manager now and he's tucked his laptop under the bed (take note, Craig Thomson).

They cannae even afford toilet roll? Their main stand hasn't been given a spring cleaning since it's initial erection in 1914 (ironically there are a few thousand large erections shiftily seated in it every fortnight, some gaining erections,......most recently over the 14 year old cheerleaders on the pitch; aye, dinnae worry JKB members, I saw that thread). Staff are bringing in their own supplies, players are being drip-fed a small percentage of their salaries that have been hurriedly counted up from the proceeds of their latest defeat, the players (who are just as spineless as their supporters) are too meepish to even so much as raise a concerned voice and they've got a manager, who has also yet to be paid, who is so skint he cannae even afford eyebrows.

They've now promoted a youth coach to the role of Director of Football which is a bizarre career move and presumably he would get a payrise there........although I'm unsure what f***all plus 5% amounts to at the moment; in fact, I do, it's still f***all. On top of this, players cannae get a game because they are associated with Gary MacKay (here's looking at you Gary Glen, ya big giant toddler), those that are getting a game are arguing and fighting amongst each other, the squad morale is at an all-time low (which is going some for them) because they're no getting a salary and HMRC and a whole host of other creditors are furiously knocking on their front door like an angry parent outside the Craig Thomson residence.

And yet still, the little followers hardly raise a peep. Indeed, the players that aren't get paid were being labelled as "wage thieves" this week by a certain few........surely you have to receive a wage to be called that? Ironically, the only way the plebs will get a wage is if they actually do thieve it from Vlad's safe....once the notes have went through a forty degree spin in the laundry that is.

But naw, just you muppets keep quiet, in fact don't say a single word. And when you do pluck up the courage to speak when your glorious absentee leader and his abortion of a son let you have a voice, raise concerns about a f****ng lightbulb in your rickety old main stand, aye that's the one, the one that's older than my grandad and looks like it would fa' doon with an ill-timed fart.

You've spent years criticising our club for our business model.........then when you tried to adopt it a couple of years ago you labelled it as your own ground-breaking innovation. Too late, my friends, too late. It didn't save you. And now you're f***ed and stuck in the s**t....which is a shame as there's nae toilet roll to help you out.

So when your club is metaphorically sat on the pavement with your begging bowl raised asking for someone to help you out, beat it.......many did try and point you in the right direction but you were too busy maxing out your maroon credit card and belittling the sensible ones to listen to a f****ng word we tried to say.

May your House of Nonces come a-tumbling down and may your demise be as horribly disgusting as the very club you purport to support.



And whilst I'm at it, I hope your next sh**e is a hedgehog.