Football Commentators statements that worry you.

***thebakerboy*** · 06-09-2011 08:42 PM

Mine tonight is and its Gary Caldwell for Scotland. Anybody got anymore.Well there's not much going on at ER.

**Mark79** · 06-09-2011 08:48 PM

Best one for me tonight was just after the cameras panned across the crowd and everyone was standing.

Cue Davy provan: "let's hope Scotland get the fans on their feet"

***essexhibee*** · 06-09-2011 08:53 PM

Davy provan - "Lithuania are a decent side."

***3pm*** · 06-09-2011 08:57 PM

Crocker - 'Can't believe they fannies paid £35 for this'.

***Bobo*** · 06-09-2011 09:08 PM

Not a football comment but one of the all time classics ... "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" (Brian Johnston 1976).

Olden but Golden as they say

***Hiber-nation*** · 06-09-2011 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by essexhibee

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Davy provan - "Lithuania are a decent side."

Nearly fell off ma chair at that one.

And David Spanner asking Gough and McCann "Was Fletcher unlucky with the penalty?" Gimme a break eh?

***Hiber-nation*** · 06-09-2011 09:13 PM

Or how about manager's statements - "We played really well tonight". Guess who

**CMac1988** · 06-09-2011 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by Bobo

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Not a football comment but one of the all time classics ... "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" (Brian Johnston 1976).

Olden but Golden as they say

Found this link whilst searching for an audio clip of Brian Johnston's quote.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A6564341

No audio clip (actually no prove that it was ever said), but there's a ton of great one liners in there.

*EDIT*

Ken Brown;
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself'

Excellent!

***Bayern Bru*** · 06-09-2011 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by Hiber-nation

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Nearly fell off ma chair at that one.

And David Spanner asking Gough and McCann "Was Fletcher unlucky with the penalty?" Gimme a break eh?

He can't exactly sit there and say 'Darren Fletcher, what a fud eh?' He's got to try and spin out the bullsh*t for about 15 mins, he's got to say something and there was sod all else to talk about.

Originally Posted by Hiber-nation

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Or how about manager's statements - "We played really well tonight". Guess who

John Hughes?

***grunt*** · 06-09-2011 09:53 PM

I'm sure one of the commentators tonight called the opposition sub, "Beni-useless".

***Craig_HFC*** · 06-09-2011 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by grunt

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I'm sure one of the commentators tonight called the opposition sub, "Beni-useless".

He did, but he said that's what he was known as at Tynecastle while he was there.

Tee hee.

**Stenny** · 06-09-2011 10:11 PM

Crocker, sayin 3mins added on, plenty time for panic yet... the guy says things to worry you all game, is he scottish?

**Sir David Gray** · 06-09-2011 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by Stenny

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Crocker, sayin 3mins added on, plenty time for panic yet... the guy says things to worry you all game, is he scottish?

Everything he said during his commentary tonight, particularly towards the end of the match was extremely negative.

**Stenny** · 06-09-2011 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by FalkirkHibee

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Everything he said during his commentary tonight, particularly towards the end of the match was extremely negative.

He seems to be like that every Scotland game, cant stand him, he just makes it worse.

**PeeJay** · 07-09-2011 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by FalkirkHibee

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Everything he said during his commentary tonight, particularly towards the end of the match was extremely negative.

I actually thought the commentators were OK last night - and considering Scotland were playing far too deep in the closing quarter of the game letting a "decent" Lithuanian side push for an equaliser, I thought the comments about "nerves" and so on, and how Scotland never do it the easy way (while negative) were actually spot on.

***Viva_Palmeiras*** · 07-09-2011 07:33 AM

"So Hibs go into the Derby full of confidence and clear favourites" ;)

***Posh Swanny*** · 07-09-2011 08:08 AM

"England getting a grip on this game now" just after England put together their second (and last) decent passing move on 65 minutes last night.

"Smalling's distribution hasn't been the best tonight" just after he sliced a clearance into touch.

"Hart is looking shaky" just after a slight fumble of a cross.

Do these guys... I say these guys... Does Clive Tyldsley know anything about the game? Or does he just spout whatever has just happened as indicative of the whole match?

As for Andy "he's not done enough there for me" Townsend, ****** off and commentate on Ireland you muppet.

***Carheenlea*** · 07-09-2011 08:43 AM

Fabio Capello talked of a "below par" performance on the radio this morning.

When I play golf, and on the rare occasion that I'm "below par", it would be deemed a very good performance indeed. For some reason in the world of football speak it means the complete opposite!

**PeeJay** · 07-09-2011 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by Carheenlea

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Fabio Capello talked of a "below par" performance on the radio this morning.

When I play golf, and on the rare occasion that I'm "below par", it would be deemed a very good performance indeed. For some reason in the world of football speak it means the complete opposite!

Not so - the word "par" means normal level or standard - his use of it is OK.

***Hibrandenburg*** · 07-09-2011 09:00 AM

I for one would much prefer if they all shut the **** up and just transmitted the sound of the stadium instead.

***Posh Swanny*** · 07-09-2011 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by Hiberlin

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I for one would much prefer if they all shut the **** up and just transmitted the sound of the stadium instead.

Big time. I used to love it when Sky had that feature. People like Townsend and Beglin have enormous power when it comes to influencing your average thick-as-pigsh*t armchair football fan.

Another prime example from last night: "Not started brilliantly here England."

The game was two minutes old and Wales hadn't touched the ball. Admittedly, only Terry and Cahill HAD touched the ball, but the point still stands!

***Gettin' Auld*** · 07-09-2011 09:23 AM

Any commentator that talks as if he's a football expert, gets on my wick............You're just there to commentate on the game, leave the "analysis" to someone who knows what they're talking about.........YOU DON'T!!!

**PeeJay** · 07-09-2011 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by Hiberlin

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I for one would much prefer if they all shut the **** up and just transmitted the sound of the stadium instead.

Watched last season's Aberdeen v Hibs game on the Aberdeen TV service - great picture, no commentators, just the "crowd" - not for me, prefer having a commentator, even if they are "poor".

**Sas_The_Hibby** · 07-09-2011 10:35 AM

"Hibs have got this game won" is always a worrying one, though it's not been heard for a long time now!

**RIP Bestie** · 07-09-2011 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by Bobo

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Not a football comment but one of the all time classics ... "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" (Brian Johnston 1976).

Olden but Golden as they say

Anyone remember the classic from the Fanny Craddock show?
She had just been making doughnuts and at the end of the show hubby Jonny said:
'Well that's all for tonight but if you are going to try it at home I hope all your doughnuts turn out like fannies'.
Pure Class

**midlothianhibby** · 07-09-2011 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by Stenny

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He seems to be like that every Scotland game, cant stand him, he just makes it worse.

He did commentate on the 6-2 game though and is still sends shivers down my spine when he screams Latapy's name as he banged in number 6.

I did used to think that Ian Crocker was a decent commentator and maybe it's just the fact that we haven't won on the TV since we beat Motherwell at the beginning of last season (I think that was the last time anyway) that I'm starting to resent listening to any commentator at Scottish games?