'smart' jokes, so bad they're good

[cheltenhamhibee]

10 cows stood in a field, which one came from the middle east ?

Coo 8

(apologies if already posted, couldn't be a***d to check all the pages)

[AltheHibby]

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I said to the wife she should embrace her mistakes, she gave me a hug.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[J-C]

There's this concert that's only 45 cents, it's 50 featuring Nickelback.

[J-C]

Did you know that the famous painter Bob Ross had a brother named Albert who was famous for his 10 foot wingspan.

[Hibbyradge]

[Hibbyradge]

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Got caught robbing the Apple Store last night.

Too many iWitnesses.

It probably didn't have windows.

[Scouse Hibee]

The new paper boy didn’t last long, a bit of wind and he folded.

[BS44]

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[Alfiembra]

For sale

[BS44]

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[AltheHibby]

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That is brilliant 👏

[Keith_M]

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Several centuries ago the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.

There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community.

If he won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and the Rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up, declared himself beaten, said the Rabbi was too clever and the Jews could stay in Italy.

Later, the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.

He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us.

He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

Finally, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.

He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

He bested me at every move and I could not continue!'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he had won.

‘I don't have a clue!’ the Rabbi said.

First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.'

‘Then he told me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, so I told him that we were staying right here.

‘And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?’ shrugged the Rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine!'

[Mibbes Aye]

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Gary Larson cartoons are worthy of a thread in their own right

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[matty_f]

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Gary Larson cartoons are worthy of a thread in their own right

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fantastic stuff.

[RyeSloan]

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Gary Larson cartoons are worthy of a thread in their own right

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Far too smart for me I must admit!

I’ve pondered the dog one for at least 5 minutes and have decided there is a zero % chance I’m gonna grasp whatever he’s ever so cunningly getting at

[Alfiembra]

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Far too smart for me I must admit!

I’ve pondered the dog one for at least 5 minutes and have decided there is a zero % chance I’m gonna grasp whatever he’s ever so cunningly getting at

I can sympathise with you as I find that humour is so subjective that what’s hilariously funny for one person can seem childish and not in the least bit funny to another. I think I’m in the rather simple and has to be fairly obvious group for me to find jokes/cartoons funny. Quite often if I have to think about it for too long I miss the subtlety.

For example, the dog one to me is the old woman encouraging the dog to run into the blocked up flap with the intention of either killing or seriously hurting itself and I don’t see any humour in that at all. However I also accept that it may be something completely different that is just beyond me. Nowt as funny as folk.

[Speedy]

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Far too smart for me I must admit!

I’ve pondered the dog one for at least 5 minutes and have decided there is a zero % chance I’m gonna grasp whatever he’s ever so cunningly getting at

I get the other two jokes. But lost of this one as well.

[grunt]

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Gary Larson cartoons are worthy of a thread in their own right

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Not funny in the slightest. I'm probably missing something.

[Moulin Yarns]

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Not funny in the slightest. I'm probably missing something.

I know, why would anyone find it funny that someone wants to injure a dog?

[Hibrandenburg]

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I know, why would anyone find it funny that someone wants to injure a dog?

It's a cartoon, I'm pretty sure that no dogs were hurt in its creation. Despite what Wile E. Coyote kept inflicting on himself, I believe he went on to live a long and prosperous life.

[Wilson]

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Not funny in the slightest. I'm probably missing something.

I'm missing it too. The only thing I've got is that a dog is man's best friend, she's not a man, and clearly not the dog's friend. Along those lines there is a bit of dark humour I suppose.

Loved the 'young Steven King' one though...

[hstn747]

What's the loneliest city in Italy?
Naples

Sent from my Pixel 7a using Tapatalk

[SaulGoodman]

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40 pager.

Well it took us 12 years, but we’ve made it.

[Oscar T Grouch]

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Far too smart for me I must admit!

I’ve pondered the dog one for at least 5 minutes and have decided there is a zero % chance I’m gonna grasp whatever he’s ever so cunningly getting at

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I can sympathise with you as I find that humour is so subjective that what’s hilariously funny for one person can seem childish and not in the least bit funny to another. I think I’m in the rather simple and has to be fairly obvious group for me to find jokes/cartoons funny. Quite often if I have to think about it for too long I miss the subtlety.

For example, the dog one to me is the old woman encouraging the dog to run into the blocked up flap with the intention of either killing or seriously hurting itself and I don’t see any humour in that at all. However I also accept that it may be something completely different that is just beyond me. Nowt as funny as folk.

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I get the other two jokes. But lost of this one as well.

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Not funny in the slightest. I'm probably missing something.

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I know, why would anyone find it funny that someone wants to injure a dog?

Okay, I know when you explain jokes, they tend not to be funny but shirley you can see the juxtaposition of this cartoon? The normality of this situation is the small dug is usually spoilt rotten by their overbearing owners whom often carry them around in their handbags. This owner however thinks it would be funny for her dug to run full pelt into the sealed dug door. I think it is called slapstick!
I laughed when my mates dug ran full pelt into a closed patio door, she was okay after it, in fact she got so much attention from the humans around her she was happy for week, did it hurt her, aye maybe just a wee bit, was it funny, yeah definitely, did the dug have any lasting effects? Just the extra cuddles and claps from everyone who seen it, laughed and then felt sorry for her.
Anyway it is a cartoon and as a vegan I don't want any harm to come to any animals, I am pretty sure Larson managed to draw this without having to smack a wee dug called Fifi in the coupon with a 2x4.

[RyeSloan]

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Okay, I know when you explain jokes, they tend not to be funny but shirley you can see the juxtaposition of this cartoon? The normality of this situation is the small dug is usually spoilt rotten by their overbearing owners whom often carry them around in their handbags. This owner however thinks it would be funny for her dug to run full pelt into the sealed dug door. I think it is called slapstick!
I laughed when my mates dug ran full pelt into a closed patio door, she was okay after it, in fact she got so much attention from the humans around her she was happy for week, did it hurt her, aye maybe just a wee bit, was it funny, yeah definitely, did the dug have any lasting effects? Just the extra cuddles and claps from everyone who seen it, laughed and then felt sorry for her.
Anyway it is a cartoon and as a vegan I don't want any harm to come to any animals, I am pretty sure Larson managed to draw this without having to smack a wee dug called Fifi in the coupon with a 2x4.

Fair enough and thanks for explaining.

I didn’t get the ‘joke’ as a picture of a slightly overweight woman in a decrepit house waiting for her dog to smack into a nailed up dog flap is, oddly enough, not funny in the slightest to me!

I honestly thought there must have been some alternative explanation of what the joke was or what the cartoonist was trying to say, hence my bewilderment.

And I get why a dog accidentally running into a glass patio door might be funny in a black humour sort of way but intentionally setting up the dog to injure itself and that still be funny when it did is something else completely.

Hey ho onwards with the thread I say!…

[grunt]

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Okay, I know when you explain jokes, they tend not to be funny but shirley you can see the juxtaposition of this cartoon?

No.

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I think it is called slapstick!

I think it's called animal abuse.

[Hiber-nation]

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Fair enough and thanks for explaining.

I didn’t get the ‘joke’ as a picture of a slightly overweight woman in a decrepit house waiting for her dog to smack into a nailed up dog flap is, oddly enough, not funny in the slightest to me!

I honestly thought there must have been some alternative explanation of what the joke was or what the cartoonist was trying to say, hence my bewilderment.

And I get why a dog accidentally running into a glass patio door might be funny in a black humour sort of way but intentionally setting up the dog to injure itself and that still be funny when it did is something else completely.

Hey ho onwards with the thread I say!…

That's exactly where I'm at. But a lot of folk won't appreciate my sense of humour either I suppose.

[WeeRussell]

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Okay, I know when you explain jokes, they tend not to be funny but shirley you can see the juxtaposition of this cartoon? The normality of this situation is the small dug is usually spoilt rotten by their overbearing owners whom often carry them around in their handbags.

I dunno - was that the norm in the early 1980s?

Like others, I thought I must've been missing something. It feels like we don't know the context or have missed previous versions required to 'get' the gag... but the OP posted it as funny in its own right so must just be us not finding it amusing.

It's nothing to do with objecting to animals (or humans) being injured in cartoons, I just don't see where the humour is in this one. Cartoons don't usually rely on straight slapstick and I don't see the subtlety or cleverness, if there is any.

Ah well, we're all different, especially when it comes to humour!

[Hiber-nation]

Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, "Have you read Marx?" to which the other replies, "Yes, it's these bloody wicker chairs."

[Just Alf]

I thought it was funnyish... but not as funny as Tom and Jerry where Tom stands on a rake and gets slammed in the coupon with the handle... or the Coyote pulling back a picture of a train tunnel to find it actually IS a train tunnel behind it.. with a train a second away! ... its all a similar idea?