'smart' jokes, so bad they're good

[Northernhibee]

Bought a Mamas and Papas salad from Tesco.

It’s terrible, all the leaves are brown.

[AltheHibby]

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Bought a Mamas and Papas salad from Tesco.

It’s terrible, all the leaves are brown.

I don't know which is worse; your last 2 contributions or the fact they made me laugh 🤔

[CropleyWasGod]

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Bought a Mamas and Papas salad from Tesco.

It’s terrible, all the leaves are brown.

In that theme.

I woke up in the middle of last night, and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing beside my bed.

At first I was afraid.

[Radium]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[weecounty hibby]

I'm just really thankful that I got the last three or four right away no matter the quality. 🤡

[Speedy]

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Brilliant. That's in a tie with the photographer joke for the best slow burner.

What was the photographer joke?

[Future17]

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What was the photographer joke?

A photographer was killed in a freak accident today. Whilst trying to take a group photo a giant lump of cheddar fell on him.

Bystanders said people did try to warn him.....

EDIT: Originally posted by c31

[Speedy]

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A photographer was killed in a freak accident today. Whilst trying to take a group photo a giant lump of cheddar fell on him.

Bystanders said people did try to warn him.....

EDIT: Originally posted by c31

[Hibbyradge]

Had a full 3hrs of sex last night. We decided to have a wee bit of role play to spice things up.

She was dressed as a Doctor, white coat, nothing on underneath except stockings and suspenders, stethoscope round the neck.

I was the patient with imaginary illness. Was in the waiting room for *** 2 hrs 58mins.

[Scouse Hibee]

My wife insisted on having a ceiling mirror fitted so we could see ourselves having fun in the bedroom. On reflection it was a bad idea.

[Silky]

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Had a full 3hrs of sex last night. We decided to have a wee bit of role play to spice things up.

She was dressed as a Doctor, white coat, nothing on underneath except stockings and suspenders, stethoscope round the neck.

I was the patient with imaginary illness. Was in the waiting room for *** 2 hrs 58mins.

😂😂

[c31]

I went to a fetish restaurant last week'
----i got toed in the hole !!!

[Scouse Hibee]

I thought I had agreed to buy a classic car when I answered the ad but ended up with a very young and small barrel maker.

[Northernhibee]

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I thought I had agreed to buy a classic car when I answered the ad but ended up with a very young and small barrel maker.

Excellent.

[AltheHibby]

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I thought I had agreed to buy a classic car when I answered the ad but ended up with a very young and small barrel maker.

Go on then, explain it to me.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Go on then, explain it to me.

Think Italian Job

[Hibrandenburg]

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Go on then, explain it to me.

Think of a very small British boxing legend who lost against Muhammad Ali.

[Moulin Yarns]

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Think of a very small British boxing legend who lost against Muhammad Ali.

Who lived in Fife, nickety......

[Peevemor]

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Who lived in Fife, nickety......

The wee Fifer who lived in Cupar?

[AltheHibby]

Duh! Thanks all. The stupid is strong with me today.

Great joke now that I understand it!🤣

[J-C]

I used to run a dating agency for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet.

[Moulin Yarns]

Barbie is 64 this year but still looks 24,do you think she has had plastic surgery?

[c31]

What do you call a dog with no tongue?
-Stinky baws!

[c31]

Met this lovely woman, with a beautiful red dress on, real slinky number you know....I told her she looked great but she looked fantastic when she came down the stairs.

[Hibbyradge]

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Met this lovely woman, with a beautiful red dress on, real slinky number you know....I told her she looked great but she looked fantastic when she came down the stairs.

Nope. Slinky reference maybe?

[Moulin Yarns]

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Nope. Slinky reference maybe?

Ah!! That's maybe it.

[RyeSloan]

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Nope. Slinky reference maybe?

Off topic I know but Slinky’s are weird things…when you drop them, even from a roof, the bottom doesn’t move until the top is at the same height. Weird indeed.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=olHiFG35dBg

[Hibbyradge]

A lawyer representing a very wealthy art dealer phoned him and said "Hi Paul, I've got good news and bad news for you. Which would you like first?"

The art dealer said "I've had a rubbish day so far, so give me the good news first and it might raise my spirits".

"Well, I met with your wife today and she told me that she invested £1500 in two pictures which she thinks will fetch between 10 and 15 million and I think she is probably right".

"Wow" says Paul enthusiastically, "My wife is a brilliant business woman and has a great eye for high art. You really have cheered me up. Now I can handle any bad news you care to throw at me.

The lawyer said, "The pictures were of you and your secretary".

[Alfiembra]

I came across a sign that said Duck,eggs

I thought that’s an unnecessary comma.

Then it hit me.

[Scouse Hibee]

Was telling my doctor that every time I go for a hospital appointment, I sit in the waiting room for hours and then end up with a bad back when I am called, he said Ben I think you’re being ridiculous it can’t be that bad. Just then his receptionist called “Mr Dover you prescription is ready” so left.