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Results 841 to 850 of 850
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02-02-2021 11:47 AM #841
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
- Posts
- 234
Next Monday is the start of diarrhoea awareness week.
Runs till Friday
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02-02-2021 06:21 PM #842
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02-02-2021 11:25 PM #843This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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04-02-2021 02:22 PM #844
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.
“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied.
It was obvious that he was in agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. The female golfer/therapist urged him to let her help him, so at her persistence, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to his side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage to his privates for several long moments and then asked, “How does that feel”?
He replied, “That feels great, but my thumb still hurts like Hell!”Last edited by Keith_M; 04-02-2021 at 02:25 PM.
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13-02-2021 10:12 AM #845
I bought a winter hi-vis jacket but had to take it back to the shop because I kept getting static electricity shocks, they gave me a new one free of charge.
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13-02-2021 09:53 PM #846
Someone keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off, I think I'm being stalked.
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15-02-2021 01:15 PM #847
I found a suitcase full of hedgehogs outside while I was clearing the snow. I phoned the RSPCA and told them and the man asked if they were moving?
I said I didn't know but it would explain the suitcase.
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16-02-2021 04:38 PM #848
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
- Posts
- 234
I was talking to a woman on line,she asked if she could comb my hair. The next day she asked if she could give me a shave. The following day she asked if she could adjust my tie.
I think she is grooming me.
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Today 08:59 AM #849
The young kid who was in the Milky Bar adverts has now become an eccentric Transvestite who loves splashing his money about.
He can often be found in Transgender shops shouting "The silky bra's are on me!"
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Today 12:32 PM #850
Apologies if this has already made an appearance...
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time and this produced an impressive set of callouses. He also ate very little which made him very frail, and his odd diet meant he suffered from very bad breath.
He was a super calloused, fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis.
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