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  1. #691
    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    A dwarf goes to the doctors, he tells the doctor that he thinks he has an STD as his ***** has turned bright red, the doctor tells him to drop his trousers, takes one look and says yeah your right it’s no white.


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  3. #692
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    Breaking : there was an accident on the M8 this morning involving a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.

    A police spokesperson said to the press this morning

    "There's no easy way to say this"...

  4. #693
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    There is a TV channel in Japan dedicated to Origami. It’s Pay Per View

  5. #694
    @hibs.net private member StevieT's Avatar
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    A friend of mine just failed an exam on Aboriginal musical instruments. A said to him “did you redo it?”

  6. #695
    @hibs.net private member McSwanky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StevieT View Post
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    A friend of mine just failed an exam on Aboriginal musical instruments. A said to him “did you redo it?”
    Right up there with the trumpet tree, Stevie!

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  7. #696
    @hibs.net private member StevieT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McS****y View Post
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    Right up there with the trumpet tree, Stevie!

    Sent from my HRY-LX1 using Tapatalk
    Where’s the like button?

  8. #697
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Ok, I'm writing this from the emergency room, but don't worry the doctors say I will make a full recovery. However I feel it's my duty to warn everyone that the "Dyson Ball Cleaner" has a very misleading name.

  9. #698
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
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    So I went to Hyde Park this morning,
    couldn’t find anyone...............

  10. #699
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
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    I’ve decided to dress as a different bread everyday next week.

    Roll on Monday......

  11. #700
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Done a job in Cornwall today, the money was great so I decided to take a week in lieu.

  12. #701
    My mate got sacked from his job at the fairground.

    He’s suing them for funfair dismissal.

  13. #702
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    The world patronising championships results have just been released in condescending order.

  14. #703
    @hibs.net private member
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    Exciting session at the autopsy club yesterday evening.
    It was open Mike night.

  15. #704
    @hibs.net private member Alfiembra's Avatar
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    Before going on a camping trip I checked my insurance, apparently if my tent blows away I won’t be covered.

  16. #705
    First Team Regular weedgiehibbie's Avatar
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    I had a pizza with just green peppers on it, nothing else, it was a pepperonly pizza

  17. #706
    @hibs.net private member Sudds_1's Avatar
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    The new drug for depressed lesbians?

    Triacockagin 😁
    The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

    The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game

  18. #707
    @hibs.net private member Craig_HFC's Avatar
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    What does Jeff Bezos do before bed?

    He puts his pajamazon.
    PERSEVERE
    Verb: pə:ːsɪ'ˈvɪə/
    To not give up.
    To go the distance.
    To stop at nothing.

  19. #708
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sudds_1 View Post
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    The new drug for depressed lesbians?

    Triacockagin 😁
    Have you applied to the BBC for a job?

  20. #709
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sudds_1 View Post
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    The new drug for depressed lesbians?

    Triacockagin 😁
    Just showed my lesbian next door neighbour that joke, Minjhita is not amused.

  21. #710
    @hibs.net private member Sudds_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Have you applied to the BBC for a job?
    😁
    The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

    The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game

  22. #711
    @hibs.net private member Sudds_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    Just showed my lesbian next
    door neighbour that joke, Minjhita is not amused.
    😅
    The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

    The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game

  23. #712
    Coaching Staff heretoday's Avatar
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    What do you call a magician who doesn't have any magic?

    Ian.

  24. #713
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    I have a pet dogfish who is 12 years old today, I've had him since he was a guppy!

  25. #714
    @hibs.net private member Northernhibee's Avatar
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    My mate had unprotected phone sex, now he’s got hearing aids.


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction

  26. #715
    @hibs.net private member Northernhibee's Avatar
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    I was once a postman but I quit after an hour.

    I looked at my first letter to deliver and thought "This isn't for me".


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction

  27. #716
    @hibs.net private member Sudds_1's Avatar
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    2 thai ladies offered to sleep with a guy...."it will be like winning the lottery" they said...

    ...and they were right - he had 6 balls in a row😇
    The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

    The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game

  28. #717
    @hibs.net private member Northernhibee's Avatar
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    Just sent a nude photo of myself to everyone in my address book.

    Not only is it embarrassing but it’s cost me a fortune in stamps.


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction

  29. #718
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    I tried to join the local cricket club but I couldn't get any sound rubbing my legs together!

  30. #719
    @hibs.net private member weecounty hibby's Avatar
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    I see a guy in London has taught his dog to play the trumpet just by taking him in the underground. He's gone from Barking to Tooting!

  31. #720
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Did you hear the one about the conspiracy theorist who was mugged whilst out walking and blamed himself.
    Last edited by Scouse Hibee; 19-09-2020 at 04:26 PM.

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